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Skillsthatwillassistyoutodealwithchallengingorunsafesituationsandavoidhigh-riskbehaviourssuchas sexualactivity,crime,druguseorviolencearecalledrefusalskills.Havingrefusalskillsallowsyoutodevelop theabilitytostandupforyourself.Withoutrefusalskills,youmayfindyourselfgoingalongwithabehaviour ordecisionsimplybecauseyoudon’tknowhowtorespondinthesesituations.Youmaybeafraidoflosinga friend,lookinguncoolorbeingleftoutofthecrowd.

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Bypractising ‘sayingno’inavarietyofwaysandinavarietyofsituationsbeforeyouneedto,youwillbe preparedforanything.Considerhowyoucanusesomeoftheskillsinfigure1.27tosay‘no’.

Make a joke.

Give a reason why it’s a bad idea.

Make an excuse about why you can’t.

Just say no, plainly and in a strong and determined manner.

Suggest an alternative activity.

Ignore the suggestion.

Repeat yourself if necessary.

Humour can lighten a serious mood and divert attention away from you and onto something else.

Maybe you can’t smoke because you want to be able to play rugby for the school or you don’t want to drink because someone you know has a drinking problem.

Maybe you have something else to do that will interfere. Or you have to be somewhere at a specific time. Or your mum will kill you. Whatever the excuse, stick to it.

Sometimes just saying no without argument or explanation is the best response.

By thinking of something better to do, you’re offering everyone a way out of a choice or situation that perhaps stems from boredom.

Act like you don’t think the idea is even worth discussing and change the topic to something else.

Sometimes it takes more than once, on more than one occasion. Be strong.

Leave. If you don’t like where things are headed, just leave. Others may just follow you.

Thanks, but no thanks.

You can be polite and just say you aren’t interested because it isn’t something you’re into.

The power of numbers.

Make a pact with your friends to stick together and back each other up. In challenging situations ‘we’ feels stronger than ‘I’.

To practisehowtodealwithchallengingorunsafesituations,completethe Challengingorunsafesituations worksheetinyourOnlineResources.