JACK
LIN
STAY HUNGRY
STAY FOOLISH -STEVE JOBS
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Put
YOUR HEAD IN the COUCH
A
lmost everyone likes treasure hunts. The process of the hunt is almost as exciting as the things you end up finding. On a boring Saturday afternoon, why not spend some time putting your head in your couch that has not been cleaned since you were 12. Inside that ancient furniture may be a goldmine filled with junk waiting to be discovered. You may find things you’ve never thought existed, or have been forgotten over the years. Your father’s old watch, your highschool calculus texbook, that porn magazine with some pages stuck together (ew), an old piece of chewed gum, dirt for a nearby baseball field (?), that old love letter from middle school that you never had the courage to give to Sally, some hairy green stuff that were probably some kind of food before (gross), and other unexpected objects that you never knew was there. Start your treasure hunt now! 6
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Give
HIGH FIVE’s to people CALLING cabs
H
undreds of people take taxi cabs in the morning. Whether they’re going to school or going to work, these people are usually in a hurry, trying to get a cab as soon as possible. While they desperately wave their hand for a passing cab, take this opportunity to give them a friendly high five. Since their hand is already up, might as well just give them one, you know what I’m saying? Your target may be a business man almost late for his meeting, a lady who’s late for her date with a friend, or some college kid who overslept for his morning class. All these people may all be frustrated about their crappy morning. Your random high-five may be the only good thing that warms their heart that day...or the annoying thing that pisses them off when they try to call their cab.
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Squirt KETCHUP on yourself AND LIE in the park
H
ave you ever wondered how people would react if they found you dead? On a boring day at the park, put this question to the test. Squirt ketchup all over yourself and lie in a visible area in the park. Try to stay away from playgrounds, you don’t want to scar a child for life by having them see a dead body. Enjoy the reaction of people when they see you. Take this chance to see if any of your friends notice your absense or even cared if you’ve gone missing. If unfortunately no one cares about you, buy some french fries and dip some ketchup from your shirt. Great idea for a oneperson picnic, right?
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Follow
a pigeon
around FOR the ENTIRE DAY
P
igeons are everywhere in the city. You always see them around, staring at you when you’re enjoying that hot dog you just bought from the deli. So have you ever wondered what do these pigeons do after they snatch away those little bread crumbs that fell out of your hot dog? In order to satisfy that curiousity of yours, spend an entire day just following a pigeon around. Give your pigeon a code name like “Fred” and get a friend who’s also very bored to follow Fred with you. With some walkie-talkies and some binoculars, your pigeon stalking mission will become more interesting. However, try not to follow them too closely because they’ll probably fly away. If they fly away you’ll just have to abort the mission and find another target. Now go stalk some pigeons! 13
CHEER up a POTATO
D
on’t you find potatos to be kind of sad? Look at their wrinkly skin, brown shit-like appearance, DO THEY LOOK HAPPY TO YOU? HUH? Since you’re extremely bored right now, try cheering a potato up. Give it a soft massage, a gentle bath, and dry it with some clean paper towels. At this point your potato may be feeling a bit happier. After that, get out your guitar (or any other instrument) and sing a song you wrote just for your friend potato. Remember, the lyrics should be meaningful and personal. You don’t want to seem like you’re just doing it because you have nothing else to do. At last, share some childhood stories or life experiences with the potato. Since you’ve probably been to way more places then the potato, try not to sound like you’re showing off when you’re telling the stories. After you’re done and your potato is cheered up, eat it for dinner. You’re probably hungry by now.
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Try to
LAUGH without
SMILING
T
hey say that laughter is the best medicine. What if we add a twist to the way we laugh... such as not smiling? Laughing without smiling is actually harder than it sounds. It involves more concentration since you need to control your facial muscles. While keeping a straight face, laugh as hard as you can to achieve the best results. Some people try to do the same thing while chuckling or babyish giggling, which are both pretty fun ways to experiment with this activity. Please do not feel limited to only do this at home. You can laugh like this in the park, while waiting for the subway, do it infront of a random baby, infront of random couples, or even at a potato. Sounds fun right? Now try it! Laugh without smiling! 17
MAKE
everyone LOOK UP at NOTHING
P
eople are naturally curious. And pranking other people in public is always fun. Try killing some time by making other people look stupid in public. Go find a tall building or skyscraper and just look up while standing in front of it. Point up and pretend you see something really shocking (imagine if you saw an UFO or a baby preparing to bungie jump of the 54th floor). Pedestrians who see you pointing up with your mouth wide open will be curious at what you’re looking at. When you see this just go like “look! you see that? Oh my god!” When a few more people starting looking up with you, more will eventually follow.(people are silly) Before you know it, you’ll have a crowd of people looking up at ...nothing. At this point, simply leave the crowd, take a picture, and go home. 18
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Swan Dive on a
FAT GUY
R
umor has it that fat guys are flexible and their bellies are bouncy. But is it true or simply just a myth? Go on facebook or go over your contact list on your phone to find a suitable fat friend with a good temper that would be willing to do stupid things with you. After getting your friend to your house, tell him to sit on the flloor while you find a high place to jump down. He should be fat enough that his fat can become a soft cunshion to protect you when you jump down on him. Also, you’ll definitely want to make this more interesting since you’re bored right now. So instead of just jumping down in a mundane manner, try swan diving! Swan diving is cool in almost any occasion when practiced. This activity will almost definitely hurt you and your friend as well, so be prepared. Things like this deserve to go on Youtube, so remember to record it. 21
PRETEND
to BE an EVIL
Mastermind
T
his activity probably involves the most work but is definitely the most entertaining. Try becoming an evil mastermind or terrorist on a boring Sunday. First, find all the monitors and TVs in your house. It doesn’t matter if they’re old or big, you want to create the atmosphere of a control room for you to monitor your evil plans being carried out. Arrange the screens together to form a half circle so that you have a good view on all of them. Next, find video clips of nuclear explosions or just buildings being blown up. Play these video on all of the monitors you’ve set up. The last step is the easiest. Get yourself one of those chairs whith wheels so you can spin yourself around. After everything above is prepared, sit back and do your best evil laugh while looking at things explode in front of you. It’s totally awesome!
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ARRANGE
two cuddly TOYS into a
PROVOCATIVE POSITION
S
ometimes when you really have nothing to do, you tend to do really childish things to entertain yourself. This is just one of those things. The two objects you need to prepare are two cuddly toys that you can steal (borrow) from your younger sister or brother’s room. Try finding the ones that look the cutest so the more messed up it would look afterwards. After getting your two cute cuddly toys, make them “love” each other. Arrange them into all the provocative positions you can imagine. Be sure that your younger siblings are not around or else you’ll just be that creepy older brother or sister that plays with their dolls in really messed up ways. When you’re done, let’s just say that you’re sister’s Curious George toy won’t be “curious” anymore. 25
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Note from the author
T
he purpose of this book is not to to make people do really idiotic things. (although it may seem like it) But instead, I want people to know that there’s always something to do in life. Sometimes, mundane things can become interesting if you just add a little twist to it. We shouldn’t always complain about nothing to do when instead we’re just not motivated enough to make our lives interesting. So next time, when you really don’t have anything to do and have al lot of time to spare. Try coming up with a list of creative stupid things to do and share it with your friends. Get them to do some stupid stuff with you. In the process of this, you will create memories, laugh, make new friends, or end up being badly injured...but who cares, at least you’re making your life meaningful!
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