Life Takes Shape A Story About Coming Full Circle
by Michael Gilbert
Out of nothing, chaos, energy and love a soul is created...
And a little baby Circle was born to the Box family.
They loved their baby Circle with all of their heart.
They played with their baby Circle. They bought him toys. They took care of all his needs.
They celebrated whenever the baby Circle did something new, like taking his first step.
And the baby Circle and his parents made each other very happy.
The baby Circle found everything to be fascinating and mysterious. Every day brought new discoveries.
But there were also times when the baby Circle became frustrated or angry. During those times his parents were there for comfort and protection.
One day the parents were too tired to comfort the baby Circle. This time, when he cried they did not pick him up and make him feel better. Instead, they got angry.
Could it be that he couldn’t always depend on his parents? For the first time the baby Circle felt insecure. The world was wonderful, yes, but it could also be dangerous and unpredictable.
Life became even more complicated as the baby Circle met other baby Circles. Sometimes these other baby Circles made him feel weak or they took away his possessions.
These kinds of experiences hurt.
The baby circle didn’t like pain. So in order to make himself a little less vulnerable he hardened his shape and he became just a little bit box-like. This meant giving up part of who he was to become something different, but it was worth it if it helped to make the pain go away.
Time passed. The baby Circle was no longer a baby Circle. Now he was old enough to go to school. At school the other shapes were also becoming more box-like. Many of the shapes were much boxier than he was. He felt small and round.
At school there was a Teacher-Box. The Teacher-Box was full of rules and threats. The little Circle’s parents could also be full of rules and threats, but they loved him. The Teacher-Box didn’t love him. Sometimes it felt like the Teacher-Box was out to get him.
The Teacher-Box watched and judged every single thing that the little Circle did. The little Circle didn’t always get good grades, which made him feel ashamed. The little Circle found that being graded could be very degrading.
The little Circle noticed that some of the other shapes were good at doing certain things. Some were good students. Some were good talkers. Some were good at sports.
The little Circle discovered that there were some things that he was good at and enjoyed doing. He liked reading. He liked writing. He liked collecting things. He liked playing with a few close friends.
Another thing he liked to do was to draw. He was very good at drawing. The little Circle showed his drawings to the other shapes and they were very impressed. This made the little Circle very happy
However the little Circle was not very good at math. The Teacher-Box put the little Circle in a special morning class with other shapes who weren’t good at math. On the other hand, he was a good reader, so the Teacher-Box put him in a special class with other shapes who were good at reading. In the morning he felt dumb. In the afternoon he felt smart.
The little Circle had a best friend. They played together every day. They were the same shapes and they laughed at the same kind of thing. They were inseparable.
Then one day a Cool-Box began spending time with the little Circle. The little Circle was proud to be noticed by one of the Cool-Boxes. He still liked his best friend, but he didn’t spend that much time with him anymore.
The Cool-Box had an odd way of playing. Sometimes he teased other boxes and laughed at their feelings. The little Circle decided that the Cool-Box had a mean streak. The little Circle was happy to have been accepted by one of the Boxes, but he didn’t think he could become one of them.
A few days later a terrible thing happened. The Cool-Box was no longer his friend. The little Circle’s old best friend was now best buddies with the Cool-Box. And not only that, the old best friend had become a Cool-Box!
The two Cool-Boxes teased the little Circle. The teasing and pranks and insults went on for weeks and weeks.
The little Circle cried and cried. His mother tried to comfort him but there was little she could do.
The little Circle was so upset that he couldn’t concentrate. His grades fell. He was just a little Circle but he felt like a big failure.
Time passed and the day came for the little Circle to enter high school. At high school all of the other shapes looked so much alike. And they were all so big!
The little Circle felt small, lost, helpless and overwhelmed.
And so the little Circle changed shape. He became more box-like — like the others — but floppier. He still felt like a circle but only on the inside and very faintly. The little Circle was no more. He had become a Floppy-Box.
High School was difficult, but there were times that the FloppyBox enjoyed himself. On weekends he would play with a few friends, and he still felt close to his parents.
Yet, inside, he was numb. He continued to struggle with math. He was in danger of failing several subjects. He lived in a daze. It wasn’t because he wasn’t bright enough to do well. He was just so very, very lost.
His parents were extremely distressed when they saw his report card. The Floppy-Box knew that he was disappointing them. Why couldn’t he get good marks like the other shapes? What was wrong with him?
So the Floppy-Box resolved that he would try harder. But every time he started to do his homework his mind would wander. He continued to do poorly on his tests.
In 10th grade the Floppy-Box had a history teacher who was different from all of his previous teachers. He wasn’t a Teacher-Box, he was a Teacher-Oval. The Floppy-Box had never been good at history, but this teacher made history fun.
The Teacher-Oval showed real interest in the Floppy-Box. He asked him why he was struggling and offered to help. He let the FloppyBox retake exams and he came early some mornings to meet with the Floppy-Box and help him study. The Teacher-Oval was very funny and the Floppy-Box enjoyed being with him.
That year the Floppy-Box got 85% in history! For the first time in a long time the Floppy-Box felt like he was capable of doing well.
Still, school remained a mystery to him. All the other boxes seemed to be doing so much better than him. He was as smart as they were yet he couldn’t get good grades. He could be interesting to be with, yet he couldn’t attract many friends.
During this time he kept drawing — and his drawings were really well done. He was also a good reader and his writing was original and creative. He definitely had certain gifts, but mostly kept these gifts to himself.
The Floppy-Box had so many conflicting thoughts and feelings bouncing around inside his head. He was smart, he was dumb. He was talented, he was worthless. He was good, he was bad. He was attractive, he was ugly. The more that he was alone with these thoughts and feelings, the more it felt like he was sinking into a deep pit where nobody could reach him.
Eventually high school ended and the Floppy-Box was accepted into a college. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life so he majored in literature because he liked reading books.
The Floppy-Box met a squiggly-shaped box. He liked her very much. He’d never met a Squiggly before. She understood him. The Squiggly enjoyed being with the Floppy-Box because she thought that he was funny and clever.
The Floppy-Box thought about the Squiggly all the time. The Squiggly and the Floppy-Box were together nearly every day. They laughed and laughed. Sometimes they kissed. They felt very close.
But the Squiggly had another friend — a big Strong-Box. The Squiggly and the Strong-Box also became very close. Eventually they became closer than the Squiggly and the Floppy-Box. So that was the end of the Squiggly.
And the Floppy-Box went back into his pit.
Soon the Floppy-Box graduated and received a Degree. His parents were enormously proud of him. Now he was on to the next stage in his life!
Which was what exactly?
He had spent his past few years analyzing books. But there weren’t any jobs as book analysts. What could he do?
Because he could draw and he could write the Floppy-Box thought that perhaps he could get a job in advertising. He went on some job interviews but none of the Advertising Executive-Boxes would hire him.
The Floppy-Box took a job selling newspaper ads to stores. After a month he still hadn’t sold a single ad. So he quit.
He eventually found a job with a big company that made lots of useful things. The people there were nice and they treated him well. They enrolled him in a program where he learned how to sell.
The Floppy-Box worked hard and he sold lots of useful things. The people at his company were very impressed with him and the job he was doing.
The Floppy-Box did so well that he was promoted to management! Now he was responsible for managing other Sales-Boxes. He was a young Box on the rise and he felt optimistic about the future. Finally things were going his way!
One day the Floppy-Box was invited to a party. He met a CurvyBox. He liked her shape very much. They danced the entire night.
The Floppy-Box and the Curvy-Box got together every weekend and they spoke together every day by phone. They had long conversations about this and that and everything else. The Floppy-Box thought that the Curvy-Box was beautiful and fascinating. The Curvy-Box thought that the Floppy-Box was clever and fun.
A year later the Floppy-Box and the Curvy-Box announced their engagement. Their families were ecstatic. There were parties and celebrations. They were young and in love and full of promise. They felt like they were the center of the universe.
Their marriage was not always easy. Sometimes they would fight. The Curvy-Box would yell and cry and the Floppy-Box would sulk. When they did fight it was always about the same things — family, money, and who had the final word.
But there were many good times as well. After three years together they became parents. The Floppy-Box was delighted. He discovered places in his heart that he never knew existed.
Two years later they had another baby. They were a happy, growing family. Having children made the Floppy-Box feel young again.
Every day when he came home the Floppy-Box’s children would yell “Daddy!” and they’d jump into his arms. Nothing had ever given him so much pleasure.
But there were some problems at work. A new Box was hired and this Box was really smart and ambitious. Soon it was the new Box and not the Floppy-Box that was getting all the promotions. And truth be told, the Floppy-Box had become a little bit bored doing the same old job every day.
So the Floppy-Box looked for a new job. The best opportunity was a job out of town, a few hundred miles away. The Floppy-Box and his family moved to a new city. It was very hard to say goodbye to old friends, and even harder to make new friends.
The Floppy-Box liked his new job. He was busy selling and presenting and fixing problems and everyone was highly impressed with him.
But after awhile he became bored again and his work began to suffer. He didn’t want to be bored. He wanted to work hard. But he just couldn’t focus. He couldn’t get the same satisfaction from his work that he used to get when he was younger. He didn’t know what to do.
The Floppy-Box and his family went on a big vacation. They sang and played cards and shopped and had a great time together. The Floppy-Box felt blessed to have such a wonderful family.
When they returned from their holiday the Floppy-Box discovered that they were almost out of money. Some recent big expenses had exhausted their savings.
The money issue wasn’t the only problem. The Floppy-Box and the Curvy-Box had grown apart. They each had troubles of their own and there was too little excitement happening in their lives. They felt stuck.
Plus the children were getting older and more complicated. Their problems couldn’t be fixed so easily anymore. They were going through their own challenges of growing up.
Meanwhile, the Floppy-Box was falling behind at work. He wasn’t doing terribly but he wasn’t working with passion or purpose.
Time went by and one day the Boss-Box called the Floppy-Box into her office. She was very nice and understanding, but she said that changes needed to take place within the Floppy-Box’s department. The Floppy-Box was going to have to find a new job.
The Floppy-Box was miserable. He was terrified. He couldn’t sleep. He felt like a failure.
He was back in the pit.
But he couldn’t just stay in the pit. He had a family to care for — bills to pay. He made some calls and saw a few boxes that he had met over the years. These boxes told him that he was a good box and that he had many strengths. He began to feel a little bit better about himself. He hadn’t realized how many friends he had and he had forgotten how good boxes could be.
There were some jobs that he could apply for, but he realized that if he accepted any of those jobs he would end-up with the same old problems. He needed more things to change than just his job. He needed to change inside.
The Floppy-Box read some books about psychology and personal development. He wrote lots of notes and completed many exercises.
When he was on his own the Floppy-Box spent long hours sitting and doing nothing at all. He was decompressing from years and years of constant pressure.
He began a process of letting go... Letting go of countless fears, hurts, bad feelings and bad memories.
He visited a Therapist-Box and talked and talked and talked. The Therapist-Box was a good listener. She taught him some ways to manage his stress.
There was a lot of talking going on inside his head. One voice was loud and fearful. Obeying this voice would cause him to drown himself in a sea of despair. The Therapist-Box helped to turn down the negativity.
He was out of work and they were accumulating debt. So this was not an easy time — not easy at all. Yet some good things were happening. The Curvy-Box was very supportive — she still believed in him. In some ways they were closer now than they had been for quite some time.
The Floppy-Box tried meditation. It helped.
One day the Floppy-Box went for a long walk. He walked many miles. He stopped at a cafe and began to write. Suddenly many things became clear.
He filled many pages. He wrote about how he had once been a happy Circle, but then he had suffered many setbacks and pain so he had closed-off a vulnerable but essential part of himself.
After he finished writing the Floppy-Box was exhausted. He could feel a lifetime of pent-up pain evaporating from his body. He was letting-go of all this pain and it was dissipating into the air. He felt lighter, emptier. He felt dizzy with relief.
Several weeks went by and the Floppy-Box continued to read and write and plan. He was still very worried and sometimes he couldn't sleep. He did the best he could to keep his spirits up.
The Floppy-Box spent many hours thinking about what he wanted to do with his life. He thought about the things that were important to him and the things that he enjoyed doing.
And then one day an idea struck him. It wasn't a fully developed idea, but it seemed to fit with what he had learned about himself in the past while. Something clicked inside and fell into place, even if he wasn't yet entirely sure what that something was.
The more he thought about it, the more he became intrigued by this new idea. It appealed to his natural strengths and interests. It began to give him a sense of direction and purpose. It would require hard work, and perhaps a little bit of luck, but now he had a sense of what he wanted to do.
He talked to other Boxes about his new idea. Most Boxes responded positively and were willing to help. Now that he had a clear commitment, the universe began to align itself with his goals. Things were falling into place.
The Floppy-Box was a Circle again. A wise Circle, an experienced Circle, but a Circle all the same.
The road ahead of him was still long and bumpy, but at least now he knew the way.
And he didn't fall into any more pits.
Well, maybe a few more pits, but they weren't as deep... And now if he fell, he bounced!
Afterword
Thoreau said that “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.� In constant retreat from life’s repeated assaults the self contracts and we are diminished. We imagine the most frightening things. Our thoughts confirm our worst suspicions. We run and hide, most especially from ourselves. Fear changes us. Life takes Shape is about that change, and the possibilities of reclaiming our authenticity. Often, the conditions for self-discovery come about when our lives are most disturbed. Extraordinary circumstances create the emotional alertness and spiritual yearnings that can lead to great insights. For many of us it is necessary to fall before we can rise.
We follow the Little Circle as he experiences the
The process begins with a disruptive event that
dangers and disappointments of growing-up. As
interrupts our habitual patterns of behavior. The
the Little Circle realizes his fragility his natural
event can be initiated internally or externally,
response is to change shape so that he may become
but either way it leads to emotional turmoil.
less vulnerable. However, there is a cost. This new shape masks his true nature and reduces his capacity to take risks – to live an authentic life.
The uncomfortable tensions created by the disruptive event seek resolution, and that urgency initiates solution finding. The Floppy Box wisely avoids
Life take Shape illustrates a common arc in our life
jumping at the first solution that comes his way
stories: We are born with a unique self; we shelter
(in the form of early job offers) and instead stays in
that self beneath layers of false protection; and
the solution seeking mode to discover what he still
then, if we do the necessary work, we eventually
needs to learn before choosing his course of action.
rediscover our true nature. In this way, each of us is a prodigal child seeking to return home.
During this phase the Floppy Box seeks the counsel of others, and their support nurtures him. He
The soul work that takes place at the end of
reads and studies books that are relevant to his
the story follows certain steps and stages.
situation. Significantly, he also spends time alone
This sequence can be illuminating for anyone
doing nothing at all – simply decompressing.
going through a similar transition.
By creating some empty space he is making room for unconscious processes to emerge.
1
The Floppy Box then takes his long walk and has an
Disruptive Event: A change occurs – either
epiphany. He sees the patterns of his life. His insight
circumstantial (involuntary
cuts through layers of defenses and puts him in touch
or internal (voluntary)
with his long hidden deeper self. He sees clearly how doubts and fears have shaped his decisions and reduced the full vibrancy of his being. He realizes the potency of his innate creativity. He is, in a sense, reborn. Now, functioning as an integrated person, no longer debilitated by insecurities, he gains further insight, seeing a path for how he can best move forward.
2
Alarm: Initial fears stir deep emotions
3
Search: The conflict seeks resolution, leading
to an intense period of self-reflection. This
period includes meaningful engagement with
others, but also time alone to create the
necessary space for inner processes to work.
Although that path may be job specific, his realization
4
Discovery: Powerful new insights begin to
transcends career – what he has discovered, or
align leading to new possibilities that are truer
reclaimed, is his unique way of being in the world.
to self than past modes of living
The stages are as follows:
5
Decision: A commitment is made to exploring
a new path. However, it is not just the path
that has changed, so has the explorer. His
energy is renewed and he now has a more
profound sense of wholeness and purpose.
The Floppy Box’s struggles form the sub-text of his life. By looking at and understanding that sub-text he is able to change the script. His self-rediscovery confirms what we all know to be so: that each of us is a true original and that our particular form of genius emerges from that originality; what the spirituallyinclined sometimes call ”the holy spark within.” May your spark be rekindled. May it burn bright and true, whatever the sub-text. MG