Feeling tired? Stress. Feeling hungry or cold? Stress and stress. Low blood pressure? Stress again. Worried about a deadline, the world economy, or whether your child will perform well in school today? Yep. Stress again. Stress isn’t always bad. It’s often just the state of things. Your blood sugar will eventually fall, and at some point you will want the answer to a question. Not knowing or understanding something is, of course, stressful. Stress motivates you to find food, climb the corporate ladder, innovate, seek information, and find new ways to become more comfortable or travel somewhere faster. Without stress, you wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning, procreate, leave for work on time, put food on the table, or shift positions when you’re uncomfortable. Without stress, you wouldn’t be motivated to obtain food, put on warm clothing when it’s freezing outside, find a partner to make babies with, or get a job. Think about it: If you freeze to death, go hungry, and skip having babies — there goes the human species or, well, at least your genetic lineage.
The Perpetual Quest for Harmony Stress can manifest as mild feelings of discomfort about real-life threatening challenges or hidden stressors such as having the gene for breast cancer, harboring low feelings of self-worth, or discovering mold in your bedroom. The brain doesn’t care, because the brain simply wants harmony. Anything that challenges your state of harmony (or homeostasis, in scientific terms) qualifies as stress. The brain doesn’t care whether it’s physical, psychological, or environmental; real or imagined; microscopically small in your body; or a major event happening in the world. If it’s challenging your state of harmony, it’s also challenging your livelihood — or your value as a human being, according to your brain. In response, your brain activates a series of responses to motivate action in an attempt to adapt to the stress and regain your harmony. The process of achieving harmony or stability by way of change or adaptation is allostasis. The brain drives this process until it finds harmony, and as far as you’re concerned, this happens when you feel better. When you’re uncomfortable, what do you do? You shift positions. You go from feeling achy to feeling at peace. When you don’t understand something, what do you do? You “google it.” You go from feeling confused to feeling smart. When you’re anxiously awaiting a call after a job interview or a date, how do you feel when you finally receive the call and it’s good news? You’re relieved and happy! And there you have it — every one of your actions, habits, or behaviors is built on the desire to find relief and happiness.
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PART 1 Getting Started with Resilience
