TRANSFORMATION
G
B
oing eyond Going Beyond Self-Improvement By Ramesh Khandhar
Self-Improvement
By Ramesh Khandhar
Ramesh Khandhar is a former secretary of the executive board and past head teacher of Pathshala at Jain Center of Southern California. He travels around to deliver spiritual discourses and continues to do intense introspection and contemplation. Currently, he is serving as Section Editor and Advisor of Jain Digest. (ramesh.khandhar@gmail.com)
(Portions of this article are based on a talk by Shai Tubali titled “The difference between Self-Improvement and Spiritual Transformation” on Insight Timer app.) Our Saints and Gurus teach us that we are not just this body but an eternal, peaceful, powerful soul. They teach us to contemplate and meditate on “Who am I” to realize that we are much more than our body and mind. By meditating on “I am” we can sense and experience that we are as big as the universe. And that is the truth, not an imagination to make us feel good about ourselves. It is simply our true size which on a daily basis we cannot comprehend in our mind. We don’t believe that we are that big and function from that bigness or identify with it fully. And because we don’t believe in it, we shrink ourselves back to a normal size that we and the society can handle.
Self-Realization, which is a near-term goal of an aspirant, is not about “the what”; it is about “the who”. It asks for spiritual transformation. In self-Improvement we are trying to change “the what” – our mental, emotional, behavioral characteristics. The focus is on making our existence, our current form (paryay) better. Whereas in spiritual transformation, we are transforming; meaning we are becoming something completely different – just the way the caterpillar changes into a butterfly. Although the efforts we do to improve ourselves are essential to reach a level purity that is required for reaching our goal of self-realization, we need to go beyond that.
The entire spiritual journey is about returning to our true identity, to remain like that, to live like that and being able to say this is what I am and not a tiny body and mind.
We have to realize that we are not what we think we are. We have to make efforts to change our identity to a higher level. We have to constantly grow in our sense of identity. Why is that important? Because who you believe you are changes your entire mindset, emotions, behavior. If you believe that you are a tiny human being that has some memories, hopes, fears, traumas and achievements and one day you are going to die; then it changes how you feel, what you think is important in life, what makes you happy, what makes you satisfied, and what makes you miserable.
Many seekers that have spent several years in their spiritual pursuit feel that they are running in circles. They say, “I feel like every day I start my spiritual journey all over again. There is more and more change in my behavioral pattern, my passions are reducing, my relationships are better. But the journey feels endless. Since there is no end to improvement, how can I feel that there is nothing more to work on, the journey is complete, and I have reached the state of self-realization?” On a regular basis we look at our shortcomings and put more efforts to become more sensitive, more compassionate, more loving, more accepting, more tolerant. We learn to open our chakras, stay in the now, become more mindful, less occupied, etc. These things are endless. There is always some pattern to look at, something to improve upon. Life is very dynamic and new situations continue to challenge us. There is always something that we have to resolve in our relationships, and we can always learn to love more, be more sensitive But the question is do these things ever end? Does such improvement lead us to an experience who we are? When we are focused on self-Improvement, we are looking into the future to find out where is that point when I can say I have reached my goal. We can make ourselves better, but not be finished with it – until of course we achieve Keval Gyan; which is a much advanced spiritual state.
However, when you realize that this identity of a tiny version of you is wrong, then everything that matters to this tiny version of you – the memories, traumas, relationships - just disappears to a certain degree. This is like cutting the roots of a tree instead of cutting the branches. Self-Improvement is like cutting the branches. When we are trying to get rid of our ego, anger, likes, dislikes; it is like trying to cut the branches. They grow again and may appear in a different form. Hence there is no end to it. We keep polishing ourselves and trying to make it into a shining diamond but forgetting that we are already that diamond! It is necessary to recognize that we need to make a big shift. All the energy we need to invest is in realizing our true identity. On one level of consciousness (paryay) you have traumas. On another level of consciousness (dravya) – the True Self – there are no traumas. Any of the traumas that you may have at paryay level never touch the dravya level. Your true self is not time bound. It does not change with time. It is not subject to the laws of evolution. 51
