Jamaican Memories

written by Kwame McPherson

One of the most beautiful things about Jamaica is looking at its lush green agriculture from on high as the plane emerges from the clouds and descends, seeking to land on this emerald isle of the Caribbean. A sparkling sunshine adds to the mysticism creating a backdrop of hues and colours - a magnificence that takes ones breath away. To add to this renowned beauty is the brilliance of the crystal blue Caribbean Sea. White surf lapping the beaches, rugged rocks and mangroves, the mirrored-like opaqueness, a wonderful reflection of the same sky one flies through; this island, a mirad of colours, a mixture of textures.

On my travels this sight never seizes to amaze and capture me, reinforced by the joyous clapping of returning patriots as soon as the plane touches terra-firma. And yet when I do land and eventually interact with various types of people, whether professional or otherwise – they all want to leave. This has made me wonder why, what is their reality that even today forces them to consider leaving such a beautiful and mystical place. I migrated at an early age to Jamaica, with my father and brother, after the failure of his and my mother's marriage.

Honestly I can say that most of my early English memories have been lost and only a few remain. Sometimes I glimpse myself being in school (wearing the inevitable short pants, socks and sandals), playing with my brother, watching my sister learn how to ride a bicycle and my most significant memory of hiding under the kitchen table as my parents fought each other. Obviously, London’s dark and grey weather was not my only unhappy memory, since my few pictures would return stark and unwelcoming. It also seemed the weather added to my emotional burden of being unhappy.

It was only later in adult life, did I realise that absorbing a new way of being in a foreign environment was not conducive to me, my family or community, and could be detrimental to my well-being. But that is totally different story. So, life in Jamaica, at the time, was the happiest one could ever imagine it to be. Great, happy memories of how we were dynamic, innovative and aspiring young people, forging our own destiny, creating our own lives - in a land where we were free, unlike those who grew up in England, for example, struggling for an identity fighting oppression, confronting a racist system.

We were free to express. Free to be. Even though the colour existed, at the time, we did not see it. So, we had youth club and high school rivalries, trips across the island, visiting the country looking for relatives, elders and young alike; there was so much to do, to see, to experience. But, inevitably and one by one, we became adults and left “The Rock”; continuing the practice of migration that began well before the Windrush 1 mass movement. But it seems, also, that in our origins, our Ancestors, kidnapped and transhipped, those so many years ago, were the forerunners. As apparent that since back then we were forced to go to newer climes. Today we choose to go to these “greener” pastures.

Nonetheless, the issues in Jamaica, at that time, are the same facing most young people today – lack of education, lack of opportunities and thus a job, the inability to purchase their own home and so on. Back then crime was also an issue but not like it is today. Now, the added ingredients of so many young people out of work in addition to those who have been deported, added to the need for materialism created by greed, corruption and the drugs trade, have resulted in a potent mix of idle young people manifesting negative behaviours and actions. Its ugly head seen across the Caribbean as I write.

On this issue, I sincerely think that running away will not alleviate the situation, instead, those of us in the Diaspora need to be returning to assist in the upliftment of our people in the Caribbean as well as in the Motherland (and by that I mean Alkebulan or Africa, its better known name!). Today, on my visits home, crime has been the main cry of those seeking to leave. But before crime was an issue – what was it? What forced us to want to leave?

I know the driver for me was economic as well as educational opportunity but I ask myself what could I have truly achieved or contributed to if I had stayed. What would this journey have been like without the racism, the fight to be “accepted”, to be confident in whom I have always been and not allowing the “system” to demean and demoralise me - who I am. Many Jamaicans are familiar with the States, UK and Canada from what they see on TV, buying into a dream that has not materialised for many.

They only need to know the stories of many of those who have gone before. For some reason this is not the case; true tales are not known, especially the ones of No Irish, No Dogs, No Niggers. Instead many have relatives who have returned, give a false impression of what they have achieved in the States, UK, Canada or anywhere else, conveniently excluding the hardship details they had to endure like struggling to make ends meet, confronting the institutions that does not and wishes not to fulfil their basic human needs. Some would claim “farrin” is a bed of roses, money comes easy and life is great.

It can be but from my experience and those around me, it is a slog, a battle and is not as simple as it seems or made out to be. But are they aware of the history or legacies which exist in these environments? I was not. Or do they even care? Having this lack of knowledge reinforces stereotypes and unnecessary struggle, for example, African Caribbean people who born, lived and grew up in Great Britain story is so much different from African Caribbean people who born, lived and grew up in Jamaica or Caribbean.

This is same for African Canadians in Canada or African Americans in America. Different legacies, still yet intertwined. This difference is across Diaspora and magnified in the way we are in these new environments. So how do we equip ourselves and others to understand what this means and impacts in their potentially new life? How do we tell someone in Jamaica that England is not what is, until you understand from an African Caribbean person’s perspective, who lived and grew up there, what it truly means and has meant for them? Do we even care to ask these questions?

Many, in my opinion, seek solace by migrating to places where they believe their life will be wonderful not realising that just the colour of their skin can be seen as threat – worse if you add intelligence, focus or ambitious. Still, I don’t believe that what someone thinks of you should stop anyone be all they are blessed to be or to use as excuse but the reality is that in the West (in the main), structures and opportunities are based on one giving up who they are to “achieve” or to be “accepted”. How do those who don’t know anything about those who have gone before face these challenges, if they have never been equipped to do so?

But then, am I making this all up? Have I had the privilege of living abroad, a hindsight opportunity in realising what leaving home really means? On a recent trip to Jamaica, I met professionals who felt that Canada would be a better place to live. These are people in jobs which provide various perks (including car, clothes, house allowance etc) that would take them a number of years to obtain in a newer environment.

In most cases they would have to return to college or university to re-educate and re-qualify so that they can obtain employment and still start at the bottom of the ladder. I have had the privilege of living in various countries including Canada and it is known that qualified people like doctors from parts of the world have ended up driving taxis! Are we this desperate that we give up on our homeland to go somewhere where we just exist? Or am I yearning for a life now long past like our foreparents who left for greener pastures before me?

One thing I have come to terms with is that I now know that living away from home has taught me so much. I am grateful for the opportunity and if I could live my life again I would probably make the same choice, the only difference being I would rather travel and return home, than leaving home and returning every now and then. Also, I recognise that my responsibility is to educate and inform those who believe that leaving will make their situation better or their life would be complete. In most situations that is not the case, in others, maybe. But one thing I do know is that many people residing abroad miss Jamaica immensely and if the country was a different place they would return. Without a doubt, for many who have left it is the best that could have happened in what they have achieved, whether to support the family and friends or to build their dream home.

The thing is, as said before, a seed for yearning for anything “farrin” has been planted. And even as the world has grown smaller and more opportunities does exist because of this Information Age, there are ways of capitalising on that right where we are. There are many questions, too many to explore in this brief article. Still I do hope that I have planted seeds and that in someway make others think before deciding to leave. There is a lot of work to do right where we can be. But then maybe my musings are bias, not taking into account people’s situations? Maybe I am talking about ideals? Anyway, whatever else, for me, I am ready to return home to empower those and educate them on what “farrin” is truly and really like.

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