Getting through it

HOW MARY MCLAIN (’75) TURNED STRUGGLES INTO A LIFE OF PURPOSE

Mary McLain is a woman who has struggled. She’s had more rough patches in her life than many could imagine possible. And yet, through it all, she tells her story with such grace and humility, completely open to sharing her struggles...and her successes.

“I want others to know—look part of life are the downs, but you can still shine and be a bright light and get through it,” she explained, with a comforting yet determined tone to her voice. “My house burned down. I got pregnant. I was abused. But you, you can still get through it.”

Mary didn’t just get through it. She took her struggles and turned them into an amazing life, full of purpose. AN UNCOMMON UNDERGRADUATE

From the very beginning, Mary’s journey to her law career was far from standard. It started with an unexpected pregnancy as a senior in high school. But, she was determined to still attain her education as a young mother. She completed her high school degree and her first semester at University of Jamestown in the same year—all with a new marriage and a new baby. “I enjoyed my whole education at Jamestown College,” Mary explained. “The liberal arts really grounded my education. I was part of the choir, was a Representative Jimmie in Leadership, and did work study. I just enjoyed the whole atmosphere and the rigor of academics.”

As if balancing schoolwork and co-curriculars with a baby was not enough of an accomplishment, Mary went on to graduate in three years with a double major in Social Sciences and Special Education. She was even crowned homecoming queen in 1974.

“I feel so very grateful, because I was supported and encouraged at Jamestown College. I would take my daughter to class when we couldn’t get a sitter,” she explained. “It didn’t matter that I had a child. At the time, a lot of places were not accepting of women with kids.” GROWING HER EDUCATION

“I knew I always wanted to go into law,” Mary explained. “I come from a family of social activists, and I saw firsthand that when there’s such social discord in civil society, you need lawyers to help get through the difficulties you face.” Her family of activists and alumni include her father Rev. Bernard McLain ’38, brother Harley McLain ’75, sister Christeen McLain ’75, and nephew Max Kirchdorfer ’12.

Mary applied to law school right before her second child was born and deferred for three years.

She would then commute from Jamestown to the University of North Dakota with her youngest daughter, stay for a week, and come home on weekends. And still, she found time to be active in her school’s co-curriculars. “I was very involved in the student council and I was governor of the American Bar Association, Law Student Division.” In this role, Mary represented the 8 th Circuit and would help create policies for students in that circuit.

Mary explained that throughout her studies, she struggled with being in an abusive relationship. And she realized, in Jamestown, there was nowhere she could just go at the drop of a hat. So, Mary, with the help of two other women, researched and wrote the grant that funded Safe Shelter in Jamestown—an organization that is committed to empowering victims of physical, emotional, and sexual assault.

IMPROVING PROCESSES AMONGST TRAGEDY

Mary and her first husband divorced. She went on to marry her husband Barry and had two more children. From 1984-1999, Mary worked as a litigator in San Francisco.

“I was hired by firms to go in and do the trials. And I just always thought, there has to be a better way.” She continued, explaining, “Even when clients would win the case, they were still upset because of the emotional and financial toll, not to mention the time it took.”

Not one to settle, Mary returned to school, this time, for her Master’s of Law in Dispute Resolution—all while running her own mediation practice.

While pursuing her LLM, Mary’s oldest daughter, Summer, was diagnosed with brain cancer. She paused her studies to take care of her daughter. Mary then explained, ever-so calmly with the resolve and strength of a mother, that Summer passed away a few short years later in a drowning accident.

“That really changed the direction in which I was going,” she continued. “But, I was so involved in my community that the lawyers I knew just surrounded me. They said, ‘Don’t give up. You have good work to do.’ I have always felt community and relationships are key to the human experience, and this proved that.”

Mary continued with her mediation practice, serving as a Federal Court mediator, but now, she had a desire to start teaching. She taught mediation, mediation clinic, and negotiations at University of California Berkeley School of Law and University of California Hastings CNDR, INTA, as well as leadership and international negotiations for MBA students at HULT International Business School.

TEACHING HAS OPENED EVEN MORE DOORS FOR MARY.

In 2009, Mary went through a rigorous application process and was one of two people interviewed by the United Nations to head their Global Internal Mediation Program. You could feel the smile in her voice as she said, “I failed with enthusiasm. I was interviewed, and it was wonderful!”

Shortly after, a student told Mary about the International Chamber of Commerce’s Mediation Competition that takes place in Paris. She’s traveled there every year, for the last ten years, and continues to do so, to help organize, participate, and serve as a judge and mediator in the event.

“It’s excellent to facilitate these young participants as they develop an interest-based negotiation, collaborating respectfully to reach understanding and resolution. I truly believe they will be the bedrock of a global civil society, and that makes me immensely proud,” she said. “It fills me with hope and inspiration for the world.”

In 2011, Mary began training professionals in mediation and advanced mediation for the International Trademark Association.

WHERE DOES SHE GO FROM HERE, AFTER YEARS OF A SUCCESSFUL CAREER?

Retirement? Not for Mary. Instead, she applied to be a member of the U.S. Supreme Court after learning about the border crisis. She was sworn in last year.

She said, “When I lost a daughter and found out children were being taken away from their families, I couldn’t come to terms with that.” She contacted a supporting organization to see how she could help. They needed someone who could write briefs and argue in front of the Supreme Court.

“I sure hope to be called on to help. I believe we can each be a changemaker in our own way, and I’m ready for that,” Mary said.

Mary continues to honor her past, as well as her first daughter. She is a past board member for the Center for Domestic Peace and is the President of the Send It Foundation, a group that gifts adult cancer fighters and survivors with an outdoor adventure. She and her family named their cabin Skye Lodge, with a ridge nearby named Summer’s Ridge in her daughter’s honor.

“I have learned along the way, you can’t always control what happens to you,” explained Mary, “but you can control how you respond to it.”

No one can argue that Mary has responded in a way that will positively impact the lives of others for years to come.