Brandi Malarkey

Paper Cranes

Chaos and Calm

Brian Gray

Pieces of Divinity

Two male rats, RAT 1 and RAT 2, in a dumpster. They’re foraging for food.

RAT 1: Ooh, a Cheeto!

RAT 2: Seriously? Why are you so lucky? I can’t find a thing right now. I can’t seem to get through this stockpile of clothes someone has thrown out.

RAT 1: That’s too bad. Yep, found another one!

RAT 2: Really? I’m coming over to your side.

RAT 1 squeals. RAT 2 falters, returns to his side of the dumpster.

RAT 1: No! You stay away from me! You know the rules!

RAT 2: Alright, alright. Sorry, I forgot. Couldn’t help myself. I’m hungry.

RAT 1: It’s fine, you just… you gotta find your own. It ain’t my job to find food for you. What you find is yours. What I find is mine. Keep looking.

RAT 2: Well, here’s something. Finally. A banana peel.

RAT 1: Is it still fresh?

RAT 2: Fresh enough.

RAT 1: There you go.

RAT 2: Yeah, not a bad find, I’d say. These early mornings are getting chillier by the day, aren’t they?

RAT 1: You got that right. Are you getting the family prepared for winter?

RAT 2: I’m trying to. The old wifey’s leading the kids right now to find us something new. The shopkeep found our home and chased us out, so we were in hiding all day today, waiting for the moon to rise before biting our way into a new place. How about yourself?

RAT 1: You know, right now I’m in a pretty decent place, I’d say. A little hole in the alleyway. It’s new, but it’s nice. You know? Like, it’s finally starting to feel like a home

RAT 2: Oh, that’s good. Yeah, it’s just the strangest thing. We were doing a pretty good job of keeping things quiet there, but still the big hairy man found us. I don’t know how. I do hope we stay in the same alleyway, I’ve really enjoyed that location.

RAT 1: Oh yeah, it’s a nice neighborhood. And you won’t get any of those winter winds?

RAT 2: Sure hope not. As long as our home doesn’t face where the sun never shines, we should be okay. But it’s the wife we’re talking about, so who knows what she’s got in mind, you know?

RAT 1: That’s very true. Just think, not a moment ago you tried coming into my space to eat what I’ve been looking myself to find.

RAT 2: That’s true.

RAT 1: You couldn’t resist that urge to try. I mean, who couldn’t? We’re talking about Cheetos!

RAT 2: I know. Just you saying the word drives me crazy.

RAT 1: Me too. But you know the rules of the game. You don’t try to steal what I’ve earned.

RAT 1: I hear you. One would think, after thousands of years of evolution, our people would learn better.

RAT 2: You would think. But sometimes the need for comfort and providing for your family outweighs that survival instinct.

RAT 2: I know. And I should have known better.

RAT 1: You should have. And yet you didn’t. And I was ready to bite your face, did you know that?

RAT 2: I did not.

RAT 1: Yes. You upset me so much I wanted to bite your face and claw you so deep that your insides spilled out. But I didn’t.

RAT 2: Well, I’m glad you didn’t.

RAT 1: Me too. Because we’re friends. I resisted. Just like you did. You didn’t actually eat my Cheeto, and I didn’t bite and

Brian Gray

scratch you and leave you for dead. But if you had fully followed through on your urge to eat my Cheeto, I probably would have killed you.

RAT 2: Seriously, you gotta stop mentioning Cheetos.

RAT 1: But that’s the survival instinct. Two separate instincts intertwined. Our need to feed, and our need to survive. And yet, and you didn’t eat my food, and I didn’t murder you.

RAT 2: Right. But I think your squeal helped.

RAT 1: I’m sure it did. It was a warning sign. And I didn’t even mean to do it, it just came out of me.

RAT 2: Instinct.

RAT 1: Instinct. Exactly. It was like I was saying, you come closer and I will fucking kill you. And you processed that and resisted your instinct. So I would say nice job to both of us.

RAT 2: Yeah. You have a very good point. Nice job to both of us. Maybe we are evolving.

RAT 1: Well, maybe we are. I can’t speak for everyone else of our kind. Did you hear about Ned?

RAT 2: Ned? No, what about him?

RAT 1: Well, lately he’s been obsessing over that yellow feline that keeps prowling around the neighborhood.

RAT 2: Oh, I know what you mean. I can’t even hang out with him anymore. That’s all he talks about.

RAT 1: Yes, exactly. Well, a few nights ago the cat was back, looking for something to eat, fight, or fuck. And Ned, who never sleeps anyway, was standing in his doorway, waiting for the cat to come by. Sure enough, here comes the cat, and Ned, ready to tell the cat off, runs out of his home, screaming at the cat to get out of here, that she isn’t welcome. Of course the cat, who’s way bigger than Ned, tells him to piss off, and that only upsets Ned more, so he attacks her.

RAT 2: Oh, Ned.

RAT 1: Oh, Ned exactly. He pounces on her, and they proceed to tussle around for a while. But of course, the cat got the best of him and ripped him into about fifty pieces.

RAT 2: Oh, that’s terrible.

RAT 1: So you saying that we’re evolving may only be limited to the two of us. We certainly can’t speak for everyone.

RAT 2: How is Ned’s family?

RAT 1: Wish I could say. His wife barely leaves the home anymore. I honestly think she’s given up. The kids are all pretty scared, because they’re beginning to realize if they want to survive they’re gonna have to leave the nest. Far as I know a few have already left, but a few others are reluctant to go. As anyone would be at that age.

RAT 2: Sure. That’s a hard time to think about being on your own.

RAT 1: It really is. How many have you got in your family now?

RAT 2: Oh, the old wifey just had a new litter about a week ago. Got twelve new little ones running around right now.

RAT 1: Wow. Cheers to you.

RAT 2: Yeah, it’s quite the family these days. That’s what I’m doing here in this dumpster. How about yourself?

RAT 1: Myself? It’s just me these days.

RAT 2: Oh, no.

RAT 1: Yep.

RAT 2: So sorry to hear that.

RAT 1: Thank you. Yeah, I lost them all to a fumigator about a week ago.

RAT 2: That’s terrible. How did you manage to survive, if you don’t mind me asking?

RAT 1: I’d uh… I’d rather not say.

RAT 2: No?

RAT 1: No. I just can’t share it at this time.

Brian Gray

RAT 2: No, understood. Say no more. So you’re just foraging for yourself at this moment?

RAT 1: Me? No. I’ve got a new sweetheart now. Right now it’s

RAT 1: It’s, uh… it’s actually been going on for a while now.

RAT 2: Oh.

RAT 1: That’s where I was when my family was extinguished.

RAT 2: Oh.

RAT 1: Yeah. Still hurts to talk about.

RAT 2: Yeah, I bet. Wow. That’s gotta be tough to deal with.

RAT 1: It is. The guilt has been getting the best of me lately. There I am, having the time of my life fooling around with a new, younger piece of tail, and meanwhile I don’t even realize what’s happening to my family at the same time. They’re all in there, struggling to breathe, knowing there’s nothing they can do about it, knowing that’s how they’ll depart this life… just her and me, but she’s expecting.

RAT 2: Oh, that was fast.

RAT 2: Hey, hey. Come on. Don’t do that to yourself. It happened, but that’s life. I know it’s tough, but we continue on.

RAT 1: I know. It just gets so tough to think about sometimes. Really just gets me…

RAT 1 finds a few pieces of cheese, aggressively devours them.

RAT 2: There you go. Seek the things you love. That’s what saves us.

RAT 1: I know, but that’s also what killed my family.

RAT 2: No, buddy. It didn’t. Your urges did not kill your family. Those toxic gases are what killed them. You had nothing to do with that. You could have easily been rolling in the dirt with your side gal, and gone home, and they wouldn’t have had a clue you were doing what you were doing. You had no control over the man with the gas.

RAT 1: No, I know. You’re right. It’s just survivor’s guilt.

RAT 2: Exactly. That’s exactly what it is.

RAT 1: Just makes me wonder if there was a reason I was spared. Like, why me? Why am I still here when my entire family was killed? Do I have a higher purpose? Did their lives serve a purpose? Their lives provided me with happiness, but the young ones, they never got that chance to get out and really make a life of their own, you know?

RAT 2: I know, it’s sad to think about. It’s all just a little bit crazy, when you think about it.

RAT 1: What’s that?

RAT 2: I don’t know. Life, I guess. It’s all just so random and chaotic. And sometimes you’re able to make sense of it, but most the time you can’t.

RAT 1: That’s true.

RAT 2: But I feel as long as you realize that life is that way, things don’t feel so terrible. You find peace with that understanding.

RAT 1: That is very true. I feel the same way. You find peace through the pain.

RAT 2: Peace through the pain. I like that. Just like me right now. Something just cut me.

RAT 1: Really?

RAT 2: Yeah. Must’ve been a discarded razor or something.

RAT 1: Ouch. You okay?

RAT 2: Yeah, it’s just a little cut. But look, through the pain, I found…

RAT 2 holds up a half-eaten slice of pizza.

RAT 1: Holy shit, that’s like gold right there! Now I kind of want to ravage that pizza myself. But I won’t.

RAT 2: That’s good. Because I might have bitten your face.

RAT 1: Ha ha. Touche.

RAT 2: Yeah, you know, when I start thinking about stuff like

Brian Gray

life and death and the like, it always makes me wonder about reincarnation.

RAT 1: Oh yeah?

RAT 2: Yeah. That gives me comfort sometimes. That if things don’t work out the way you want it, you’ll get another chance to do it again. Like maybe that’s all we’re really doing, is coming and going, and picking up where we left off previously to keep making things better for people.

RAT 1: Wow. That is kind of comforting. It kind of takes the pressure off, right?

RAT 2: Right. Exactly. Like, you get another chance to do things next time around.

RAT 1: Hmm. I often think we’re all just parts of a bigger puzzle, like at one time we all used to be just one large single piece, and as our population keeps growing we keep getting more separated from it. So as time goes on we have to work even harder to keep that unity, as that one large soul we come from continues to separate and expand.

RAT 2: Huh. I don’t know anything about that. Sounds nice, though, like we all come from one divine place, and here on this plane we’re separated pieces of that divinity?

RAT 1: Yeah.

RAT 2: Hmm. That’s kinda comforting too.

RAT 1: You know, you should come over for dinner sometime. Meet the new lady.

RAT 2: We should do that before the white cold hits. Yeah, count me in. Hey, a Cheeto!

RAT 1: No kidding?

RAT 2: Yeah, check it out!

RAT 1: There you go, lucky man. RAT 2 takes a small bite, stops. He hands it to RAT 1. What?

RAT 2: It’s for you. I want you to have it.

RAT 1: Really?

RAT 2: Yeah. Consider it a little gift for your new family.

RAT 1: Wow. I don’t know what to say. That’s very gracious of you.

RAT 2: Any time, buddy. Well, it looks like the light’s peeking through the horizon. About time to get home.

RAT 1: You’re right. I’d better split. Did you find enough for now?

RAT 2: I think so, but I’ll take another minute, see if there’s anything more. You?

RAT 1: Oh yeah, I’m good. Well hey, maybe I’ll see you tomorrow?

RAT 2: Yeah, that sounds good. You stay warm, buddy!

RAT 1: Thanks, you too!

RAT 1 leaves. RAT 2 stays in the garbage, foraging for more. After a beat a YELLOW CAT enters, looking around, and jumps into the dumpster.

RAT 2: Hello, is somebody there? Hello? Buddy, is that… Oh… oh, boy. Oh, boy…

Fade out.