At Every Seem

Allana turned up her Ipod to full blast as she walked away avoiding making eye contact with Christian, trying to drown out the pain she still felt in her chest from the look he’d given her on the bus when he looked over Xander’s shoulder and mirrored her sad reflection with concern and compassion. The sadness she could see in his dark eyes shattered her already torn heart. If only he knew how I felt about him. She thought to her self. She just couldn’t hide it from him anymore. It was ripping her apart at every seem.

As far as he knew she was a broken soul holding on to Xander with every fiber of her existence. “I wish there was a way.” She said aloud to herself when no one was around.

The truth was that Allana loved Christian and he was the only boy she’d ever start dating again for. She hated feeling this way because she was afraid of losing her best friend.

She’d give anything for him even if it meant keeping her secret from him for the rest of her life. Later that night she cried her self to sleep. Thoughts ran through her head, ones of her and Xander, ones of him smiling his perfect crooked smile and how his bright blue eyes stood out against his shaggy black hair. Deep down she knew she missed him even though he had used her and lied to her so many times that she couldn’t trust anyone with anything anymore. That is anyone but Christian, she could tell him everything he was the one who stitched her back up when Xander left her. The easiest way for her to forget about Xander was to burry her feelings with hate for what he did to her.The next morning Xander came up behind Allan and caught her fist before she could hurt him. “Please listen to me…I know you hate me and I don’t blame you but I loved you all along I never did stop. And I can’t live without you any longer please take me back.” Xander pleaded.

Then he kissed her softly, his lips soft against hers. He paused and looked into her green eyes waiting for her to respond. Allana broke into tears and and started to yell all him.

“How could you possibly think I could ever forgive you!? You used me! You pretended you were my friend and everything you ever said was a lie. You never loved me, you were never there for me!” Then her body gave out and she let herself fall into his arms throwing her arms around his neck, stretching up on her toes and kissed him longingly.

“I’m here now.” He murmured. Her lips brushed against his anxiously. “I don’t want to loose you again.” She said. “Wait. I can’t do this Xander.”

“Why?” He asked her, confusion in his eyes. “Christian…” She whispered.

“He’s fine, he knows you like him and he likes you to, but he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. He said you wouldn’t truly be happy being with him. He wants what’s best for you.”

“How do you know this is best?”

“Allana.’ He said. ‘I love you with all my heart I will never let anything hurt you again.”