The Reality of Addiction

Healing in the Wake of Suffering

Written by Alyse Messmer Illustrations by Hannah Siefkes

For adults and students, addiction can be a subtle and fast fall. Things that start as innocent “onetime” occurrences, such as over-eating, binge watching, gossip, pornography, alcohol, drugs and more can become a habitual problem for those who form a reliance on it.

By the time individuals are in their senior year of high school, 70 percent have tried alcohol, 50 percent have abused an illicit drug, 40 percent have smoked a cigarette and 20 percent have used a prescription drug recreationally according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse. In the United States alone, there are more than 7,800 new drug users every day.

But for college students and high schoolers, picking up addictions to substances is easier than at other ages. NIDA also reports that “Adolescents are ‘biologically wired’ to seek new experiences and take risks, as well as to carve out their own identity. Trying drugs may fulfill all of these normal developmental drives, but in an unhealthy way that can have very serious long-term consequences.”

Dr. Robert Pate, California Baptist University director of clinical training and PsyD Program and associate professor of psychology, says addiction can hold a weight over its victims and cause major harm in other places in their lives.

“When people get addicted to something it’s always at the expense of something else. They are choosing to have a relationship with a thing, a substance, a phone, - something else other than people and maybe ultimately with God,” Pate says. “People who are addicted can go through a handle of vodka a day or even two, and they’re fine. They’ll go to class and they’ll do OK and no one will know except those who are close to them who they have chosen alcohol over.”

For Kristin Thoroddsen, junior studio production major, addiction affected her own family, as her half brother was addicted to alcohol and drugs when she was younger.

“His addiction was really hard for my dad to deal with, which made my family dynamic very different for a long time. Although it didn’t affect me very much, I saw it tear apart his family. He got a divorce with his wife and didn’t get to see his three kids for a good amount of time. It definitely makes me more cautious about drug use and gives me a broader perspective of how it affects a whole group of people not just one person. He’s now two years sober and is making amends with them all but it was a slow process of regaining trust.”

According to Lakeview Health Addiction Treatment and Recovery, more than 23 million people in the United States struggle with addiction. Only 10% of these 23 million will get appropriate addiction treatment, and the remaining 90% will not get the help they need.

For anyone questioning if they are addicted to something, there are ways to evaluate habits. For those struggling with addiction to things such as drugs, alcohol, pornography or even the internet, there are resources.

For CBU students, the Counseling Center offers counseling for addiction, anxiety, depression and other things related to mental health. Online, the Counseling Center also provides anonymous screenings that can help identify any issues or struggles one might be having.

Pate also works at Psychological Services of Riverside as a clinical psychologist, offering services outside of CBU. Psychological Services of Riverside’s mission is to “assist members of the community to live out the values that are most important to them, without the hindrance of cognitive, emotional and behavioral struggles. Whether motivated by faith, family, friends, aspirations or other convictions, we strive to help individuals pursue a life of meaning that is unencumbered by psychological impediments.” ➤

Pate said that for those looking to make a recovery from addiction, therapy could be a great solution.

“If you’re reading this, and this feels like you, there is hope and there are places to go. Going to the Counseling Center will accomplish a few things. First, you’ll see you’re not alone. I’m not the only person on CBU’s campus dealing with alcoholism or something. It also helps you think through what caused your addiction and what is maintaining your addiction and what you should change.”

Pate also encourages his clients to set boundaries. For many, addiction is not holding them to such extremes as drugs or alcohol, but even smaller, sometimes excusable things such as social media and food. For them, treatment and recovery can still be just as necessary.

“Sometimes boundaries mean you give your phone to someone else, sometimes it means you have to throw away your internet modem, sometimes it means you can’t go out unless someone else is with you because they’re gonna stop you from buying that alcohol,” Pate says. “Lock your phone in a drawer - it’ll be OK. If you realize ‘Wow, I’m super anxious when I don’t have my phone,’ maybe that’s a sign of something else going on, and it’d be good to talk to somebody about it.”

“Find the thing that fits for your recovery. For some people that’s therapy. Not everyone thrives in therapy, but also not all therapies are the same. I would encourage people if they’ve gone to therapy before and they say it didn’t work for them - well maybe that therapist or those three didn’t work for you, but give it another chance. Sometimes we give up too easily on the things that might help us,” Pate says.

For friends of those who are dealing with addiction, there can also be difficulties in loving them, but not supporting their habits

“Try not to enable other’s addicted behavior. We can’t make people’s choices for them, and that can make us feel very powerless to be the friend of someone going through an addicted process,” Pate says. “But encourage them, be there for them, and modify your expectations for them for a while. Let them know you are a safe person to talk to. That you care about them no matter what.”

Pate encourages those with friends who are struggling to also set healthy boundaries if the relationship has become toxic.

“I think boundaries can also be important. Sometimes people are not willing to make a change unless they have some sort of consequence. People do interventions, so have honest feedback for them. Share with them the relational consequences, and ultimately if you have someone that is in an addictive process and you’ve done everything and it’s hurting you, you might have to think about removing yourself some way from the relationship. Maybe still off er them support from a distance — it does not have to be all or nothing. You don’t have to give up completely on a relationship to make boundaries in a relationship.”

There’s always going to be suffering and pain, but how do we deal with that? That’s where the Gospel offers us hope.

— Dr. Robert Pate, California Baptist University director of clinical training and PsyD program

Thorddensen says there are many things she wishes she would have told her half-brother during his struggle with addiction, but it was left unsaid.

“It’s really hard to see people hurting and ruining their lives, especially when they aren’t just hurting themselves. I think the biggest thing they need is love and support so that they can go on a path of healing. I wanted to tell him that Jesus is the only one that can bring true healing, that the hole we are trying to fill with drugs and alcohol is only temporary and is hurting you. My brother isn’t a believer so I would just want to reassure him in his worth and love that he has in Jesus.”

For those suffering with addiction, there is also hope to be found in the Gospel.

“I think a terrible approach to this from a Christian perspective would be that type of prosperity Gospel: ‘Give your life to Jesus and your addiction is going away tomorrow.’ No, it’s probably not, because there are still consequences, (both) psychological and biological, for our choices,” Pate says.

“I think the Gospel makes it OK to be as screwed up as we are. We’re all messed up - no one can ever earn salvation, so stop trying. Acknowledge how broken we are, take that first step of humility and turn to God. There’s always going to be suffering and pain, but how do we deal with that?

That’s where the Gospel offers us hope. For those suffering with addictions or the things that lead to addictions, heartbreak, homesickness, failure, insecurity, imposter syndrome, all of the things that we all deal with, there is hope – you can feel loved and accepted and OK. You can feel valuable and worthy through Christ,” Pate says.

For those who are looking for help, the CBU Counseling Center provides free counseling to students and faculty Monday throughFriday, as well as providing online screenings and other helpful resources.

For those wanting help outside of CBU, Psychological Services of Riverside provides therapy, psychological testing and other programs Monday through Friday. Appointments can be scheduled online and the office is located at 2900 Adams Street, a four-minute drive from CBU.◆