Khuluma45 by Jayne Macé-Ferguson

October

2015

ROcktober

Starring Liezel van der Westhuizen FOR THE MENU see pages 2 & 3

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eal creativity requires an extreme environment. The greatest technological advances have occurred during times of war, and Mr Hoover only invented the vacuum cleaner after being beaten one too many times by Mrs Hoover’s broom. In fact, nothing really new has appeared since the Cold War – apart from

the internet and Twitbook. And this is my fear for the future of rock ’n roll. Serious rock ’n roll was the product of the extreme overindulgences of the 60s and 70s, and the extreme characters that these produced. Artists over the centuries have tried everything from absinthe to smoking mushrooms to push the creative envelope, even if said envelope sometimes went the wrong way through the letterbox. Frank Zappa said, ‘A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open.’ Well, like, dude, you know he’s not talking about meditation here. During one of his more lucid moments, the great wizard Ozzy said, ‘Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different to being drunk on a bus.’ Or try David Lee Roth: ‘I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.’ And then there were Brian Johnson, Steve Tyler, Alice Cooper, Gene Simmons, Joe Perry, and so forth. Not that I condone drugs, but there was a somewhat conspicuous correlation between overindulgence and music that has stood the test of time. Likewise, real entertainers have inherently extreme personalities. Eddie Spaghetti said, ‘Rock and roll keeps you in a constant state of juvenile delinquency.’ Keith Moon of The Who once drove his car through the glass doors of a hotel, all the way up to the reception desk, got out and asked for the key to his room. Of course, he was criticised by the ooms and tannies, but he lived the performance. Today’s pasteurised and radiated society might protect the average person, but I am convinced that humanity is being bleached in the process. Or, in the words of Harry Truman, ‘Political correctness is a doctrine that holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of s*** by the clean end.’ I’m still on the fence, but is today’s social-media-monitored correctness going to deprive us of the colourful characters needed to produce real rock ’n roll, and who will still buy Jay Z’s music in ten years’ time?

Erik Venter, CEO: Comair Ltd

kulula.com

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Contents

OCTOBER 2015

Regulars 1

VIEW FROM THE TOP Our CEO on why madness equals great music ÜBER-EDITOR’S LETTER Liezel van der Westhuizen on that one time at band camp… KULULA PAGES kulula celebrates the arrival of their Boeing New Generation 737-800 fleet

28 20

GAUTENG Get busy, chow down, shop till you drop, then sleep it off in Gauteng

KWAZULU-NATAL Play, eat, dress and dos like a real KZNite

GARDEN ROUTE Food, fashion and fabulous getaways along our glorious Garden Route

Guide

COMPETITIONS Win stuff! Lots of stuff!

THE NOTICEBOARD Our monthly roundup of what’s going on around the country

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OCTOBER 2015

WESTERN CAPE What to do, what to wear, what to eat and where to sleep in and around the Mother City this month

TOP TIPPLE Teaching the effect of terroir on taste BEAUTY The latest smelly, prettifying things to smear all over yourself

82 59

WATCH Silver-screen sensory sensations

LISTEN Check out our bumper music section, with the latest CD releases, plus exclusive interviews with Jennifer Rush, Bongeziwe Mabandla, Bring Me The Horizon, 36 Crazyfists, and Thomas Krane!

GAMES Thumb-twiddling, eye-twitching gaming goodness

TECH Gizmos and apps to keep the music pumping

Chat 82

FYI WITH AKA Liezel talks stages, sacrifice and SA hip-hop with AKA

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114

THE ROCKFATHER Liezel and Barney Simon talk the past – and the future – of rock ’n roll

LOCAL HERO Bridges for Music is changing lives one beat at a time

Travel 96

FEAR AND LOATHING ON THE FESTIVAL TRAIL Our not-so-intrepid reporter goes undercover at SA’s biggest music festival

102 THE STATE OF SKATE Skateboarding is all the rage again. Will it stay that way?

Action

111

BEHIND THE SCENES How to build a music festival from the ground up

114 SPECIAL FEATURE Wedding woes? We’ve got you covered! 125 DRIVE Unleash your inner rock star in the BMW X6, plus five cars on the more practical end of the spectrum

Stuff

129 PROPERTY How to rock your home – literally 132 MONEY MATTERS What is the future for musicians in the digital age? 135 BUSINESS What you can learn from a concert for your next big presentation 137 HEALTH October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month 139 COLUMN Ben Trovato takes ‘break a leg’ a bit too literally

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EDITORIAL Editor Anthony Sharpe – anthonys@picasso.co.za Content Manager Raina Julies Copy Editor Lynn Berggren ART Head of Design Studio Jayne Macé-Ferguson Designers Anja Hagenbuch, Mfundo Archie Ndzo Design Intern Johan Labuschagne Production Editor Shamiela Brenner Cover Photograph Morné van Zyl Make-up Artist Natasha Rees-davies SALES Business Manager Lodewyk van der Walt – lodewykv@picasso.co.za Project Manager Richard White khlassifieds Project Manager Steve Norval Sales Consultants Stephen Crawford, Jay Deary, Bonnie Eksteen, Randall Grace, Eugene Howard, Louis le Roux, Lana Martins, Marc Plastow, Andre Potgieter, Alec Rompelman, Roman Ross, Clint Smith, Zelda Stein, Shaun Westley Advertising Co-ordinator Vanessa Payne OPERATIONS Senior Bookkeeper Deidre Musha General Manager: Magazines Jocelyne Bayer KULULA.COM CEO Comair Limited Erik Venter Head of Department: Marketing, kulula.com Shaun Pozyn Marketing Manager, kulula.com Bridgette Ramuluvhana Brand Manager, kulula.com Thembeka Mabaso COMAIR LIMITED 1 Marignane Drive, Bonaero Park, Kempton Park, 1619 Tel: 011 921 0111 | kulula.com contact centre: 0861 KULULA (585852)

To advertise in this magazine, please contact Richard White (Project Manager) at 021 469 2542, or email richardw@picasso.co.za To advertise in the khlassifieds section, please contact Steve Norval (Project Manager) at 021 569 2435, or email steven@picasso.co.za Copyright: No portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written consent of the publishers. The publishers are not responsible for unsolicited material. khuluma is published monthly by Picasso Headline Reg: 59/01754/07. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Picasso Headline, kulula or Times Media. All advertisements/advertorials and promotions have been paid for and therefore do not carry any endorsement by the publishers. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of its contents, neither kulula, nor the publisher can be held responsible for any omissions or errors, or for any misfortune, injury or damages that may arise therefrom. We reserve the right to edit interviews for layout purposes.

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ÜBER-EDITOR OF THE MONTH

Liezel van der Westhuizen Walking on sunflowers

OCTOBER 2015

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picture: morné van zyl

ince it’s Rocktober, I decided to interview two music personalities who have between them a long history in the South African music scene – and (what nowadays seems more important) a good dose of controversy, which has been keeping the Twitterati’s fingers twitching. I spoke to rapper AKA (AKA Kiernan Jarryd Forbes) who, despite having recently headlined the OppiKoppi music festival, has been making the headlines for all the ‘wrong’ reasons. Regardless of the gossip and accusations, I found the real-life guy surprisingly easy-going and a pleasure to chat with. We left behind the controversy and rather talked about his career highlights. Barney Simon, who I met while judging many Battles of the Bands, has come under fire from loose-lipped (‘love me or hate me like Marmite’) Gareth Cliff, who accused Barney of selling out. He’s referring to Barney’s move from playing only rock on 5FM to playing more commercial music at Jacaranda FM. I think that’s a little harsh, Mr Cliff. Barney has, after all, supported and fiercely fought for South African bands for many years. And who can forget the classic Uncle Paul’s Bedtime Stories? Anyway, while the boys are out there harvesting followers and flashing their egos in Twitterland, I’ve been having lots of fun with the good people from The Sunflower Fund, and we just finished the shoot for the National Bandana Day (12 October) commercial. This is such a lovely group with big hearts. Bandana Day raises funds and awareness for people with leukaemia LIEZEL’S and other blood-related diseases. Their aim is to CREDS Liezel van der Westhuizen get as many eligible people as possible on their is a TV and radio presenter, donor list. So you can save a life by becoming a MC, keynote speaker, vlogger, donor (really not as hectic as it sounds), or buy a fitness athlete, model, (phew!) Ironman and Dusi Canoe finisher, bandana and wear it on the day. (yoh!) and all-round giraffe about Moreover, up to 12 October, you can post a pic town. Check out liezel.co.za of your pet wearing a bandana and stand a chance and follow her on Twitter @liezelv. to win great prizes. I do love animals (having recently adopted an adorable pup from the SPCA), so I think this is extra awesome. Don’t forget to take your aeroplane selfie! The FOMO (fear of missing out – for those who still don’t know, sigh) factor is off the scales for your friends when you get to fly to a new destination. Safe travels!

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flying 101: Marc Lottering helps launch our brand-new Boeing

OCTOBER 2015

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African fibre and wave the flag high. As a tribute to our heritage, each passenger on board received kulula hampers filled with original South African goodies, including Black Cat peanut butter, Nik Naks, Ouma Rusks and Mrs Ball’s Chutney. With a total investment of R2.5-billion for the entire fleet, kulula now operates the youngest fleet of commercial aircraft in South Africa. The New Generation Boeing 737-800s are true kulula planes, contributing to a ‘green’ flight experience. The new planes are more economical, being the most fuel-efficient aircraft available, cheaper to operate, not to mention kinder to the environment. The new 737-800s utilise 18% less fuel per seat than other aircraft, and save an average of 2-million litres of fuel per aircraft per year for the equivalent number of seats.

The new aircraft are also fitted with split-scimitar winglets – fancy gadgets attached to the end of the aircraft wings – reducing fuel consumption by 1.4% per aircraft, increasing efficiency and resulting in an average cost saving of R1.3-million per aircraft per year. We are the first African airline to invest in this aircraft technology, maintaining the highest standards of safety and sustainability for our passengers. That’s not all! The aircraft is also furnished with modern interiors such as LED mood lighting (we can now light up the cabin with different colours depending on your mood) and way more storage space for your bags in the cabin. Book a flight on kulula.com and secure your spot on one of our green machines.

picture: supplied

e recently rolled out the green carpet for our fans who travelled to the Mother City in our newest addition to the fleet family: ZS-ZWE – a brand-new Boeing New Generation 737-800. Obviously, we threw an amazing event to mark this occasion. Fans travelling from Jo’burg to Cape Town were in for a big surprise when they were welcomed on board by our favourite, authentically ayoba, local comedian Marc Lottering. Fans on flight MN111 were treated to a VIP reception that included live inflight entertainment by Mr Lottering, an avid traveller on our flights. ‘I fly kulula a lot, but have never ever been hosed down before a flight! A truly magnificent experience on a magnificent new plane!’ he said in reference to the grand water salute the new aircraft received when it touched down at Cape Town International Airport for the first time. Comair Engineering Manager Bryan Carlisle engaged passengers with an exciting recount of how he brought the new kulula bird all the way from Seattle in the States to South Africa. He shared the 42-day journey with passengers, starting from when the craft was built at Boeing to its 22-hour ferry flight to Jo’burg. The revolutionary plane is the second last of six New Generation Boeing 737-800s that will form part of our fleet before the end of 2015. Now, 14 years after our very first flight, we are proud to be part of the South

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travelling is easy with Europcar When you climb off a plane and glance at your travel documents, it’s always reassuring to discover that your car rental is booked with Europcar. And your delight is in no way lessened when you cruise through the check-in process, climb into the car and discover the little signature mints in the console. With more than 100 locations throughout Southern Africa and a wide selection of vehicles ranging from economy, SUVs and MPVs to luxury vehicles, you’re assured that Europcar will meet your travel requirements. We offer a wide range of accessories plus many other offers and personal customer service. This is how we ensure that you make the most of your business or leisure travel.

Choose your favourite Tsogo Sun hotel and let kulula book your room. Now that’s luxury you can afford.

Got some eBucks? Pay or part-pay for your next kulula flight using your eBucks.

Protea Hotels ensure your stay with them is as unique as the kulula experience. Try out any one of the hotels – you won’t forget the experience.

As a Discovery Vitality member, you can earn Discovery Miles, which you can use towards paying for your next kulula flight.

twitter.com/kulula facebook.com/iflykulula

THE NOTICEBOARD

picture: supplied

travel tip Join our community and get insight into the fun side of travel. We’ll also be sharing some cool travel deals, tips and stories.

kulula.com

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COMPETITIONS | GUIDE

Choose naturally

We’ve got five Nature’s Carnival hampers to give away! Each hamper is valued at R300 and comprises the following products from the Love Scramble range: body mist; shower gel; body scrub; and body butter. Nature’s Carnival is known across the globe for their body-loving products and their kaleidoscope of natural fragrances. Using selected ingredients sourced from around the world, Nature’s Carnival expertly combines these soothing earthly elements to provide the very best quality in skincare.

Treasure Hunt

Enter the khuluma Treasure Hunt and you could win an overnight safari at Aquila Private Game Reserve for two, including welcome drinks, three meals and two game drives! To enter, find the Aquila logo hidden in this issue of khuluma. Standard terms and conditions apply. The prize may not be used in conjunction with any other special offers or existing bookings. Subject to allocation availability in a standard room. Not exchangeable for cash or transferable. Valid mid-week only from October to 10 December 2015 or 1 April to 30 October 2016. The winner must book directly with the Aquila reservations office.

Premier prize

Win a weekend getaway, all-inclusive, dinner, bed and breakfast at a Premier Hotel or Resort of your choice! To win, simply answer the following question: What is the name of Premier Hotels & Resorts’ newest hotel, advertised in this image? Email your answer followed by KHULUMA to competitions@premierhotels.co.za or send a message on Facebook (facebook.com/premierhotels). Ts&Cs apply. Winner will be notified by 16 November 2015.

Competitions To enter

Health-e!

We’ve got a R500 juniva.com shopping voucher to give away! Juniva.com is South Africa’s leading health, wellness and fitness e-tailer, providing expert advice and a diverse range that includes vitamins, supplements, sports nutrition and weight management products from many brands like SOLAL, Evox, Herbex, SSN and JungleVites.

Go to khulumaonline.co.za and hit the competitions tab. Competitions are open to all South African residents over the age of 18, excluding employees of Picasso Headline/Times Media Ltd/kulula.com/ Comair Limited, and close on 31 October 2015.

Tentacular!

One lucky khuluma reader can win their own 10x7.5m wedding welcome tent to the value of R30 000, or use a R30 000 voucher towards the purchase of a bigger tent. From beach weddings in the Caribbean to outdoor weddings in the UK, Tentickle tents are world famous for their stunning beauty and superior quality. Visit tentickle-stretchtents.com to view their amazing range.

Movie merchandise

We’ve got five magical Pan hampers (necklace, Jolly Roger T-shirt, DIY treasure map, backpack, hair chalk) and five killer Black Mass hampers (beanie, torch, power charger, T-shirt) to give away! Check out our write-ups of both films on page 59. (Ts&Cs apply. Prizes are not transferrable and subject to availability. We reserve the right to substitute any prize with another of equivalent value without giving notice.)

kulula.com

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GUIDE | NOTICEBOARD

The Noticeboard The who, what, when and why of what’s going on around Mzansi.

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OCTOBER 2015

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pictures: freepik

No ha

Martell, the world’s oldest great cognac house has brought its superbly stylish range of cognacs to South African shores for the first time. To celebrate the 300th anniversary of this iconic brand, ‘1715 by Martell Cognac’ opens in Sandton this month. This one-of-a-kind concept bar brings to life the spirit of French art de vivre through spectacular design, fine cuisine, great entertainment, good company and of course, the exquisite Martell Cognac. Check out 1715.co.za.

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GUIDE | WESTERN CAPE

What’s on Western Cape Live comedy International comedian, actor and author Russell Brand stops off in Cape Town at the Grand Arena, GrandWest, as part of his Trew World Order Tour. Inspired by Brand’s YouTube series called Trew, this event has been described as the show of 2015. Tickets are available from Computicket. Visit russellbrand.com for more information. Please note: ‘Yes, That’s right. We are all individuals. We’ve been told freedom is the freedom to fulfill our petty desires but “trew” freedom is freedom from our petty desires.’ – Russell Brand

WINE ON TAP 10 October

Wine festival The Diemersfontein Pinotage-onTap festival will delight guests with events taking place at the Diemersfontein Estate in Wellington. Come enjoy delectable food, bottomless Diemersfontein coffeechocolate Pinotage and local entertainment. Tickets are R410, from Computicket, including wine on tap, lunch and dessert. For R925, you’ll get a case of Pinotage as well. Visit diemersfontein.co.za. Please note: ‘Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.’ – Paulo Coelho

IT’S ALL HUSH HUSH 30-31 October

Wine festival The annual Spier Secret Festival is taking place at the Spier Wine Farm in Stellenbosch. The festival showcases the full range of Spier’s wines and hosts some of the region’s best small producers, bakers, food trucks, restaurants, and includes live entertainment and fun for the kids. This year includes a farmer’s market and a boutique estate wine cellar. Visit spiersecret.co.za. Please note: ‘The discovery of a wine is a greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.’ – Benjamin Franklin

OCTOBER 2015

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SYMPHONY OF SPECTACULAR 7-11 October

Theatre Symphony of Dance is a collaboration between the Cape Town City Ballet and the Cape Town Philharmonic Orchestra, showing at the Artscape Opera House. In this production, the ballet and orchestra share the stage, and the audience can watch the music come alive in dance, while following the action of the orchestra. Get tickets from Computicket and visit artscape.co.za for more info. Please note: What’s the difference between alto clef and Greek? Some conductors actually read Greek!

MYSTERY AND MUNCHIES 30 October

Dinner series Join in the intrigue at the An Uninvited Guest – Halloween Murder Mystery Dinner series. The Halloween edition is hosted at The Cape Town Club and promises to be an exciting Halloween experience. Tickets include a three-course meal and, of course, a murder mystery to solve! The game script is normally written for eight characters per table, so it’s a great way to entertain a group of friends. Visit bepartofthemystery.com. Please note: Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!

KITE OR FLIGHT 31 October – 1 November

Festival Be uplifted at the 21st Cape Town International Kite Festival, proudly hosted by Cape Mental Health in Muizenberg. It’s a fabulous family outing featuring some of the most spectacular kites in the world. There’s also live entertainment, free kite-making workshops, and yummy food and craft stalls. For just R30 to enter (R10 for children 12 years and under), it’s affordable family fun in support of a very good cause. Please note: In kite flying, as in life, it doesn’t matter which way the wind is blowing; you can still have fun.

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied

STAYING TREW 3 October

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GUIDE | WESTERN CAPE

Eat Western Cape

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REUBEN’S AT ABALONE HOUSE

Sadly, ‘Bye-Bye Miss American Pie’ by Don McLean is not actually a song about pie. It’s about the plane crash that killed Buddy Holly, but that’s a much sadder topic than pie, so let’s pretend it’s about pie. At French Connection, the pies are more French than American. The goat cheese and onion pie is beautifully balanced by a mustard-cress salad. The pear tart tatin (a tart is just posh foodie speak for pie) is accompanied by thick and sour crème fraîche. Perhaps the most American of the pies at French Connection is the fantastic pecan pie with a delicious sprinkling of praline. 48 Huguenot Road, Franschhoek, 021 876 4056, frenchconnection.co.za.

If SASSI statistics are to be believed, then the Marvelettes’ 1965 song ‘Too Many Fish in the Sea’ (‘short ones, tall ones, fine ones, kind ones, too many fish in the sea’) is utterly inaccurate. All the research suggests that there are too few, not too many. Reuben’s at Abalone House in Paternoster has majestic Atlantic Ocean views, so you can look into the sea and decide for yourself if there are too many fish there. If you’re not sure, why not order the braised leek, asparagus and zucchini salad with za’atar-spiced feta, lemon purée and olive salsa. 3 Kriedoring Street, Paternoster, 022 755 2044, abalonehouse.co.za.

OCTOBER 2015

HEMELHUIJS ‘Brown Sugar’ by the Rolling Stones is clearly an epicurean inspiration at Cape Town’s Hemelhuijs. Chef Jacques Erasmus’s menu includes brown-sugar-sprinkled baked quinces and slow-cooked onion soup (which is sweet because of the caramelised onions and needs no extra sugar). For those who could eat breakfast all day long, there’s the brown sugar and cinnamon sweetness of old-fashioned sago melkkos. Those with somewhat more adventurous, less brown-sugarfocused food tastes can savour the likes of gnocchi on roasted aubergine with black-truffle cream. 71 Waterkant Street, Cape Town, 021 418 2042, hemelhuijs.co.za.

text: anna trapido; pictures: myburgh du plessis, supplied

THE FRENCH CONNECTION BISTRO

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GUIDE | WESTERN CAPE

R299, H&M

R1 940, Luxottica Stores

R349, Trenery at Woolworths

text and pictures: supplied

R1 465, Spree

R1 500, Spree R799.95, Converse R1 760, Kirsten Goss

Gray matter

Kim Gray developed a passion for styling and worked as a freelance stylist on many big brands. She started blogging as an outlet for her creativity, sharing her insights into the fashion and décor industries – and we’re so glad she did.

R2 999, Trenery at Woolworths

R699, Levi’s

R599, H&M

KIM’S FASHION TIP

R199, Mango

Black, grey or olive are great for any rock-inspired outfit. You can accessorise with just about any colour, from neons to metallics for a fool-proof look. R7 700, Missibaba 24

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OCTOBER 2015

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

Spierheading a great day Anthony Sharpe finds the Disneyland of the winelands at Spier Wine Farm.

pictures: supplied

t was the very definition of a spring day. The sky was bright and clear, the sun warm but not oppressively so. Little yellow daisies dotted the grassy banks on either side of Baden Powell Drive as we drove out towards Spier Wine Farm. When we arrived, a little blue cartoon bird fluttered down and alighted on my hand and I burst spontaneously into song, accompanied by an orchestra hidden in the bushes outside the reception area. I think my hyperbole may have gone a bit too far there, but you get the idea. You’ve got a pretty good chance of having an eagle owl alight upon your hand if you visit Eagle Encounters on the estate, one of a range of activities that makes Spier a sort of Disneyland for the winelands. Aside from avian adventures, there’s wine tasting (obviously), the Eight Restaurant (which also serves up scrumptious picnics), a craft market, art aplenty, trails and Segway tours. They keep a pretty action-packed events

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roster too, with the amazing Spier Secret Festival (check out page 20 for details) and the Spier Secret Market coming up later this month. There’s also the Burgers and Blends nights on the first Saturday of each month (the next one’s coming up on the 3rd). The one we attended drew their biggest turnout yet, and it was easy to see why the event is growing in popularity. Tables in a large hall were set out with tasting stations, each with the estate’s Signature range Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Shiraz and a blend. Each table tries to recreate the blend by combining the three wines, and the winners each receive a bottle of vino! Predictably, this involves a lot of sniffing, swirling and drinking, and the crowd was pretty merry by the time we moved onto the burgers, which were preceded by deep-fried wontons and beetroot soup. All that wine made me glad that our tour the following morning was on a mode of transport that required little more

than leaning to operate. After a safety briefing and tutorial, our guide Erik took us whizzing around the back roads of the estate on off-road Segways. Along the way, he explained the principles behind Spier’s approach to farming, which are heavily geared towards sustainability and organic methods. The farm cycles the water through a natural irrigation system to clean and purify it for reuse; the free-range chickens actually live outside and their excrement is used as fertiliser in the field; and the Treepreneurs project teaches more than 100 people in impoverished communities to grow indigenous tree and plants, which, once they’ve grown to 15cm in height, are bartered back to Spier. It all makes sipping on a glass of their 2012 Creative Block 3 – a Shiraz, Mourvedre and Viognier blend – feel even better than it already does. R310 Baden Powell Drive, Stellenbosch, 021 809 1100, spier.co.za.

OCTOBER 2015

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GUIDE | GAUTENG

What’s on Gauteng Live comedy From living with first-world problems in a not-so-first-world country to having to pretend that snotty-nosed kids are adorable in front of their parents, Stuart Taylor’s BeSpoke is an honest account of fighting our way into middle class South Africa. Don’t miss this laugh-a-minute show at MonteCasino’s Studio Theatre. Tickets are R130-R165, from Computicket. Please note: Not everyone you bring along will find this show funny. Just joking!

THE MAN BEHIND IT ALL 9-11 October

Theatre With music and movies which continue to define generations, The Man & The Mouse tells the story of Walt Disney Studios and the incredible mind behind it all – Mr Walt Disney. Performed at the Joburg Theatre, this show takes classical musical items and revives them, providing a grown-up homage to the incredible creations of Disney. Visit joburgtheatre.com. Please note: ‘You can dream, create, design and build the most wonderful place in the world, but it requires people to make the dream a reality.’ – Walt Disney

MAMA DRAMA MIA 17 October

Live comedy We all know that one baby mama or daddy who is depicted as a monster, but we never stop to ask ourselves what motivates them to act in such a manner. Hot, young comic Sifiso Nene has figured it all out and decided to put it in his first one-man show Baby Mama Drama, on at the Lyric Theatre at Gold Reef City. Tickets are R165, from Computicket. Please note: Definition of a baby: nine months’ interest on a small deposit.

OCTOBER 2015

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WALK IT OFF 3 October (Soweto) 17 October (Pretoria)

Charity race The Pick n Pay Women’s Walk is taking place at the FNB Stadium to raise awareness about breast cancer. The 5km walk isn’t restricted to women, and men and children are invited join in. All funds raised go to PinkDrive, an organisation which provides free breast-cancer screening and education around the country. Visit picknpay.co.za or pinkdrive.co.za. For entries and info, visit webtickets.co.za. Please note: What do you get if you run behind a car? Exhausted!

RAGE ALONGSIDE THE MACHINE 9-11 October

Gaming expo Plunge into the world of gaming at the annual rAge mega-event, taking place at the Ticketpro Dome at Northgate. Brought to you by the creators of NAG magazine and NAG Online (nag.co.za), this expo covers all the bases by appealing to newcomers, enthusiasts, casual gamers, futurists and fundies. Tickets available from Computicket and at the door. Visit rageexpo.com. Please note: What do you call a broken game console? An ex-box!

MISSING IN ACTION 20 October – 8 November

Live comedy Bringing you the funniest, freshest material in his hilarious new show Missing, South Africa’s most notorious and controversial puppet Chester Missing is making his way to The Fringe at Joburg Theatre. As always, Chester will be accompanied by his faithful sidekick Conrad Koch, along with Ronnie the monster, who’s been known to try to sell drugs to audience members, and Hilary, the ginsoaked showgirl ostrich. Tickets are R120, from Computicket. Please note: Whatever you do, don’t call Chester a dummy.

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied

TAYLOR-MADE COMEDY 2 October – 1 November

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

Eat Gauteng

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AFRICANSWISS RESTAURANT In the song ‘Boyfriend’, Justin Bieber sings: ‘I can take you places you ain’t never been before.’ He goes on to explain that one such place will be ‘chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue.’ At AfricanSwiss – on the Gauteng/North West border but only 40 minutes from Jo’burg – there are great views of the Magaliesberg mountains, plus superb cheese fondues. There is nothing nicer than scooping up soft, bubbly cheese with hunks of crisp-crusted bread – even if you have to do it with Justin Bieber. Plot 119, Broederstroom, Hartbeespoort Dam, North West, 083 476 0507, africanswiss.com.

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LA LUNA OF MELVILLE

IL TARTUFO

After eating fondue, great boyfriends should take their lucky girlfriends to La Luna of Melville, where there’s romantic lighting and superb Italianstyle food. Menus change according to season and the whims of the chef, but expect the likes of pumpkin ravioli with brown butter, pine kernels and amaretti. Greedy girlfriends adore the osso bucco, too, as would anyone. The extensive wine list will allow the aforementioned great boyfriend to toast said girlfriend with superb sparkling wine. 9 7th Street Melville, Jo’burg, 011 482 7451, laluna-melville.co.za.

Good boyfriends would absolutely not play Nicki Minaj’s startlingly rude ‘Truffle Butter’ in the car on the way to a date at Il Tartufo in Hyde Park. Tartufo means truffle in Italian, but this would nevertheless not make it acceptable to mention the song in front of a lady. Ever. A good boyfriend should rather concentrate on the great truffle-related dishes on chef Omar Scarabello’s menu. The taleggio Milanese (crumbed egg starter with truffled spinach) is superb. Hutton Court, cnr Jan Smuts Ave and Summit Road, Hyde Park, Jo’burg, 011 788 8948, iltartufo.co.za.

OCTOBER 2015

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GUIDE | GAUTENG

R1 199, Mango

R349, Mango

R349, Spree

R299, H&M

R135, Spree

Secrets of style

R499, Cotton On

Blogger Rowena Saloojee is the author of Secrets and Stilettos – a blog about what’s trending in Jo’burg fashion.

ROWENA’S FASHION TIP Three things will guarantee that you look exceptionally stylish: a high-pointed shoe; red lipstick and confidence. 32

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OCTOBER 2015

R669, Spree

R1 465, Spree

R699, Woolworths

R279, Spree

R1 099, Mango

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R2 399.95, Freddy

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

Game for it Dale Hes nurtures his natural side at Ezulwini Billy’s Lodge.

pictures: supplied, josh duffus

zulwini Billy’s Lodge, in the heart of the game-rich Balule Nature Reserve in the greater Kruger National Park, was started two decades ago by Laurence Saad and his family, who played the leading role in convincing landowners to drop their fences and form a new conservancy for Africa’s wildlife. The lodge is run today by Laurence’s daughter Lauren, a nature guide with an undying passion for conservation. Coincidentally, Lauren is also the cofounder of Rocking for Rhinos, the only music festival that raises money for antipoaching purposes. When developing Billy’s Lodge, nature was left as undisturbed as possible, and the overall purpose is to light a fire in your heart, while treating you to hand-on-foot service that makes you long to return. Laidback life at this thatched camp revolves around a central area, which includes a cosy lounge, bar, indoor dining room and a variety of outdoor seating areas overlooking the riverbed. The design

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incorporates plenty of natural materials, including gnarled leadwood tree trunks felled by elephants, and a 10-metre-high wooden skywalk winding over the riverbed to a romantic vantage point overlooking two busy waterholes. A sky-scraping viewing tower was the home of a bee’s nest when I was there, but I can imagine that the vistas qualify as panoramic when it isn’t quite so buzzing. Accommodating a maximum of 12 people, the lodge has three standard rooms and three luxury suites. The standard rooms are built in the style of rondavels and are situated close to the swimming pool. The air-conditioned luxury suites are more private, spacious and decadently appointed, featuring kingsize beds, outdoor sitting area on a deck, private plunge pool and outdoor shower. Three authentically African meals are included each day, with guests enjoying a wide variety of options for starters, mains and dessert. Guests are also treated to a braai in the boma on at least one night,

where traditional song and dance, flickering lanterns and a log fire create an idyllic setting under the stars. A real treat is a visit to the wine cellar, which has been carved out from the rock bed below the lodge. Some packages include local beers, house wines and ciders, while several charity auction packages do not. The star of the show at Ezulwini, however, is the natural environment all around you. Days kicked off with a gentle wake-up call from a staff member, followed by a warm cuppa and the first game drive of the day. Our guide, Josh Duffus, was exceptionally knowledgeable, friendly and humorous, and together with tracker Conrad Khosa managed to connect us with rhino, lions, elephants and a cheetah with an impala kill. Arguably the lodge’s greatest asset is its staff, who are exceptionally professional and do more than expected to make your bush experience a very hard one to forget. Balule Nature Reserve, Kruger National Park, 083 963 7676, ezulwini.com.

OCTOBER 2015

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GUIDE | KWAZULU-NATAL

COME ON, FEST UP 10-11 October

Lifestyle and sport festival The Pecanwood October Fest is taking place at the Pecanwood Farm in Merrivale. With more than 32 different craft beers to taste, along with various beverage and food pairings, and an array of sporty activities, there’s something for everyone. Don’t miss the annual Beer Pong Tournament, where the winning team will win a trip to Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany. Tickets are available from Computicket and sports entries can be secured at roag.co.za. Visit octoberfestkzn.co.za. Please note: Beauty lies in the eyes of the beer holder!

GOOD FOOD AND GOOD WINE 30 October – 1 November

Food and wine show The Durban Exhibition Centre plays host to the Good Food & Wine Show, the ultimate foodie event. The show includes highly entertaining and interactive attractions as well as more than 200 exhibitors showing visitors what’s hot and trending on the culinary circuit in terms of food, drinks and appliances. There’ll also be delicious tasters, loads of free goodies and competition giveaways. Tickets available at Computicket. Visit goodfoodandwineshow.co.za. Please note: What is the dress code at a pasta convention? Bowtie.

TWICE AS NICE 31 October

Performance The Barnyard Theatre at Gateway invites you to their Halloween Parties. For the kids, starting at 12.30pm, there’s the Hall of Horrors, magic show and hip-hop dance-off. In the evening, starting at 6:30pm, adults can have their faces painted by special-effects make-up artists, visit the House Of Horrors, and be entertained by Mo Magic. Visit barnyardtheatre.co.za. Please note: Dress up! There’ll be prizes up for grabs.

OCTOBER 2015

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Cycling event One of the toughest and most gruelling cycling events, the Amashova Durban Classic, is coming to you this month. Dubbed the safest cycle race in KwaZulu-Natal, the 106km road race follows a similar route to that of the Comrades Marathon, although a shorter 38km fun ride is also on offer. Held during rather humid conditions, the race starts in Pietermaritzburg and ends in Durban at the Moses Mabhida Stadium. Visit shova.co.za. Please note: You’re a cycling addict if you hear someone had a crash and your first question is: ‘How’s the bike?’

What’s on Garden Route ACTION-PACKED ACTIVITIES 1-8 October

Sports festival The Mossel Bay Sports Festival is an opportunity for local and visiting sportsmen and women to participate in a variety of events. Highlights include a sailing regatta, a motorsport gymkhana, bowls, darts, tennis, badminton, chess, bridge, lifesaving and many more. Visit visitmosselbay.co.za. Please note: Part of the good feeling after working out is not having to feel guilty for not working out!

COLOUR ME CRAZY 2-5 October

Colour festival The Knysna Colour Fest is a fundraising initiative in Knysna, aimed at raising funds for local schools, community organisations and educational foundations. The festival includes DJs, various food and beverage tents, art and craft stalls and exhibitions, a carnival and children’s playground. There’ll also be a 5km colour flavour walk/run, 10km glow-in-the-dark colour dash, 21km colour race, 50km colour bike race, golf events and a float parade through the streets of Knysna. Go to visitknysna.co.za. Please note: What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied

What’s on KZN

TEST YOUR METTLE 18 October

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OLD TOWN Kwaito star Arthur Mafokate got into a lot of trouble with the censors and moral police for his song ‘Sika Lekheke’ (Cut the Cake), which he says is about baked goods. However, in tsotsi taal, ikhekhe (literally cake) is a euphemism for women’s genitalia and ukusika (to cut) refers to having sex, so the song is probably not about cake. That’s very sad. The good news is that Old Town – a food emporium, restaurant and deli in Umhlanga – has a patisserie division full of real cake, like Italian chestnut cake and ricotta cheesecake. There are also great Italian savoury classics like pappardelle Bolognese, tagliatelli with truffle butter, and crispy focaccia bread. There’s also delicious coffee to accompany the cake. 39 Meridian Drive, Meridian Park, Umhlanga Rocks, 031 566 5008, oldtown.co.za.

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THE BISTRO AT METAMORPHIS

THE SNACK BAR AND AT SPICE EMPORIUM

Prince once sung about a ‘Raspberry Beret’, and at The Bistro at Metamorphis in the tiny town of Wakkerstroom, there’s a superb rhubarb and raspberry crumble on the menu. There’s also a magnificent lentil curry with butter naan and papas bravas, along with a menu filled with Turkish, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Mexican and Greek cuisine – but Prince didn’t write any songs about that sort of food. Wakkerstroom is actually in Mpumalanga, not KZN, but it’s on the border (and only two hours from Jo’burg), so holiday-makers from both KZN and Gauteng adore this calm and quaint epicurean hot spot. 130 Van Riebeeck Street, Wakkerstroom, 072 252 5781, wakkerstroom.co.za/the-bistro.

‘The Big Rock Candy Mountain’ is an American folk song made famous by Burl Ives. The lyrics of the song describe a hobo’s vision of what paradise would be like. In an ideal world, the song says that hens all lay soft-boiled eggs and there are lemonade springs. At the Snack Bar at Spice Emporium in Durban’s CBD, there are no soft-boiled eggs – the menu is vegan – but there’s an Indian-style lemonade nimbu pani with a hint of black salt. They also sell superb chaat (cocktail snacks) such as Mumbaistyle sev-puri-spiced potato topped with coriander and almond chutney, and South Bihar pani puri semolina croquettes filled with chickpeas and green mung with tamarind-and-date sauce. None of these feature in the song, but they should. 31 Monty Naiker Road, Durban, 031 332 5888, spiceemporium.co.za.

OCTOBER 2015

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GUIDE | KWAZULU-NATAL R139, Mr Price R159, Mr Price

R99, Spree R399, shopbrettrobson.com

R499, Sissyboy R1 299, Superbalist

R799, Zando

Rob ’n roll

Brett Robson is a fashion blogger, designer and founder of Shop Brett Robson. As one of the top fashion bloggers in South Africa, she knows all about hot summer trends.

R269, Superbalist

R199, Superbalist

R1 450, Spree

BRETT’S FASHION TIP

R795, Spree text and pictures: supplied

For spring/summer 2015, we look to 80s icons like Madonna in ‘Like a Virgin’, the king of glam rock David Bowie, and the colourful Cindy Lauper for style inspiration. R450, Woolworths 40

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OCTOBER 2015

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

Gateway to everything Will Edgcumbe settles disputes over weekend activities at the Three Cities Gateway Hotel.

pictures: supplied

ver wondered what it would be like to live in a mall? Probably not everyone’s cup of tea, but just imagine that every time you wanted something it was right there. And when that mall is Gateway Theatre of Shopping in Umhlanga, you can do or get your hands on basically anything. Okay, so you can’t stay in Gateway – you could try, but at some point a large man with bulging neck veins would admonish you with his fists – but the Three Cities Gateway Hotel is basically the closest thing. Set on the northern end of Gateway and adjoining the Wavehouse, you can’t miss the hotel, with its green, curvedmetal façade with a leaf motif. It’s one of those spots that really is ideal for everyone from holidaying families to business travellers. It’s got easy access to the N2 highway, is a stone’s throw from Umhlanga Ridge’s business parks, and five minutes by car gets you to

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the beaches of Umhlanga Rocks. And despite the urban setting, the hotel is quiet and the views are great – the Wavehouse isn’t too hard on the eyes, especially if you’re a kid busting to get onto the waterslides or skate park, and the Chris Saunders Park is a pleasant, little, green spot just over the road. The hotel has 146 rooms, ranging in style from standard to superior, and includes sets of inter-leading rooms for large families, and two rooms exclusively catering for physically challenged guests. Rooms have all the usual amenities, including minibar, free Wi-Fi and TV, and there’s also a laptop-safe zone if you don’t want to lug your laptop everywhere but are worried about its safety. There are five conference venues equipped with all the latest tech, and the venues cater for everything from small gatherings to cocktail-style events for up to 500 people. You can also tie the knot

in style and invite just about everyone in your phone’s contact list, with capacity for up to 320 guests. With Gateway offering more restaurants than you could ever eat at in one stay, guests are a bit spoiled for choice. But if going into the mall feels like a bit of a hack, the hotel’s on-site Fig Tree Café offers fresh, bistro-style cuisine, with snack platters and light meals available throughout the day. There’s also room service as an option for when you want to lie down, but you also want to eat, and can’t choose between the two. Basically, this is the place to go when your family can never agree on doing the same thing – everyone will find a vibe that suits them. Indecisive people, on the other hand, better bring a Magic 8 Ball. Corner Centenary Boulevard and Twilight Drive, Umhlanga, 031 536 9200, threecities.co.za/hotel/gateway.

OCTOBER 2015

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GUIDE | GARDEN ROUTE

THE IS EAT Kirsty MacColl’s glorious faux-country culinary classic ‘There’s a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He’s Elvis’ has the subclause: ‘But he’s a liar and I’m not sure about you.’ The chips at This is Eat in Port Elizabeth are fat and salt slaked. They are crisp on the outside but soft and giving in the centre. Chip perfection – and that’s no lie. In the event that deep-fried fingers of potatoey goodness aren’t your thing, they also serve fresh sushi and delish seafood curries. 16 Brickmakers Kloof Road, Port Elizabeth, 041 582 2161.

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OCTOBER 2015

MANGIAMO AT WICKER WOODS

BRAMON WINE ESTATE AND RESTAURANT

No matter what music is playing at Mangiamo in Port Elizabeth, thin, cracklingly crisp pizza bases with eclectic toppings such as Parmasan ham, green fig, rocket and blue cheese are always the order of the day. Pastas and a superb Caprese salad go well with red wine too. Gluten-free pizza bases are available for the afflicted. The wine list is pretty comprehensive, and could lead to outbursts of song if you consume too many of its items. 50 Sixth Ave, Walmer, Port Elizabeth, 041 581 1107.

Don McLean wrote the song ‘Red, Red Wine’, but no one remembers his version because the UB40 reggae recording is much better. Whichever you pick, neither will perfectly match the wines at Bramon because they mostly produce white. The estate’s rosé Pinot Noir and Shiraz blend is as close as they get to red, and it’s pink. All wine is delicious when paired with the stylishly seasonal, tapas-style meals served at the estate’s restaurant. N2, The Crags, Plettenberg Bay, 044 534 8007 (wine estate), 073 833 8183 (restaurant), bramonwines.co.za.

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

Eat Garden Route

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GUIDE | GARDEN ROUTE

R1 090, Mango

R1 200, Gert Johan Coetzee

R349, H&M R345, Spree R449, Mango

R69, Spree

R1 499, Mango

Three’s company

R1 199, Mango R2 149, Mango

The trio of THREE Boutique in George share a united passion for handmade and locally produced items. Here are Lindsay Bennett, Louise Leggatt and Alida Wilkin’s top trends. R299, Guess R149, Spree

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THREE BOUTIQUE’S FASHION TIP Style is an expression of individualism. Fashion is something that comes after style.

R729, Zando

R2 199, Paul’s Boutique

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OCTOBER 2015

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

On the edge of heaven Katie Bigelow catches her breath in the gardens and mountain forests of Middle Earth. Or is that Hogsback?

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hrouded by mystical forests and swirling mist, and laced with streams and waterfalls and mosscovered rocks, enchanted Hogsback had cast its spell over us even before we were shown to our room at The Edge. It was, of course, no ordinary room. Rather, what we were escorted to was a thatched rondawel at the far reaches of a vast garden, poised on the lip of the escarpment above a massive gorge. The valley below stretched towards distant encircling mountains, and everywhere was the shimmering green of wild forests and beautifully tended gardens exploding with the vibrant colours of spring. Inside our round, thatched hut was a fitting mix of old-fashioned cottage furniture, all extremely comfortable and shabbily neat. It was kitted out for selfcatering, but with that view outside and a great restaurant near the reception, we didn’t even open a cupboard. I’d convinced Denise to steal away for a few days of R&R – a girls’ weekend coinciding with Hogsback’s annual spring

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celebrations that last until the end of October. It was, we discovered, a time when the entire village celebrated its flora by opening its gardens to the public. Once we’d gotten over the drama of what we could see from our doorstep, we ventured out to explore in more detail. First we found a local bird expert who took us into the forest and made us listen to the calls of endangered Cape parrots, Knysna woodpeckers and Narina trogons. We spotted Samango monkeys scarpering through the canopy, and caught fleeting glimpses of grey duikers and bush pigs dashing through the undergrowth. Then we rented a pair of bikes from Neels du Toit of Hogsback Adventures and used them to push around the town, poking our noses into strangers’ backyards, as seemed to be the norm. Everyone was extremely welcoming, and at Nutswood Park, a grand old place with landscaped gardens straight out of the English countryside, we got the most incredible tour by the owner, a passionate and erudite man who explained that his three-hectare

mix of indigenous and exotic plants had been laid out in 1932. When we dropped off the bikes, Neels convinced us to go abseiling down the 40m Madonna and Child waterfall – the whole of Hogsback must’ve heard Denise’s mix of screams and joyful whooping. Back at The Edge we took time to meditate using the on-site labyrinth, and then stole back to our rondawel’s porch with some bottles of bubbly and watched as the mountains turned to silhouette before disappearing into the blackness. Then we turned our gaze upwards and observed a billion stars twinkling in the sky. ‘Gosh,’ said Denise. ‘If that’s heaven up there, then where are we?’ Perry Bar Lane, 045 962 1159, theedge-hogsback.co.za. For more information about the Hogsback garden tours, visit hogsbackgardens.blogspot.co.za. For bikes, MTB trails and abseiling with Hogsback Adventures, call 073 567 9487.

OCTOBER 2015

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TOP TIPPLE | GUIDE

Earthly delights Ingrid Graham gets the lowdown on how the land affects your vino.

pictures: supplied, thinkstock

ou’ve been invited to a terroir wine tasting. It sounds terrifying, if you don’t know the basics… Terroir refers to the complete natural environment in which a particular wine is produced, including factors such as geology, topography, soil and climate. The terroir of a landmass is said to affect the characteristics (taste, style and quality produced from the block) of the wine. At a terroir tasting, you typically taste a selection of wines from various geographical areas or a single estate that has a diverse terroir. It may include wines from one particular cultivar or grape variety to show the effects of a terroir on the character, quality and taste of a wine.

ASPECTS OF TERROIR Geology: Millions of years of shifting earth plates have produced varied bedrock on which vines are planted, like Malmesbury shale, Cape granite and sandstone.

Gary Jordan of Jordan Wine Estate is a trained geologist who appreciates his geological heritage. ‘You can’t imagine how much a background in geology helps in winemaking,’ he says. ‘You have the edge over everybody when you know what’s below the ground. It works so well because of the physical characteristics and what the underlying bedrock has given us.’ Gary believes the estate’s characteristic loam soil – a near-balanced mix of sand, silt and clay formed out of the weathering of the suite of granites on the estate – has contributed to the acclaim of their wines. Soil: The medium of growth also influences wine quality and character. It is soil that sustains the life of the vine because it stores food, water and various other nutrients. Soil regulates climatic influences such as temperature, rainfall and wind on the plants. It also dictates the development of the root system. And what is soil? It is, in layman’s terms, decomposed rock. Topography: This refers to the landscape of the vineyard. Increased altitude results in cooler temperatures with variations of as much as 5°C. The slope of a vineyard affects the amount of sunshine, rainfall, soil erosion and wind on the grapes. Climate: The Western Cape, our premium wine-growing region, has a Mediterraneantype macroclimate with warm summers and cold, wet winters. However, wideranging mesoclimates exist because of the influence of the cooling breezes from

the two great oceans. On top of this, the magnificent mountain ranges, undulating hills, fertile valleys and meandering rivers all make for a diverse terroir. There you go: everything you need to know to rock your next terroir tasting without soiling yourself. If all else fails, make puns.

AMARULA SPURS OUR TEAM ON WITH A SPRINGBOKKIE

Join Amarula in showing your support for the Springboks. Loved for its luxurious creamy texture and taste of exotic, wild-harvested marula fruit indigenous to sub-Saharan Africa, Amarula is delicious straight up over ice, in shooters and cocktails. Try this easy (and fittingly coloured) shooter recipe as you back the Bokke during their 2015 campaign! ½ tot Amarula Cream ½ tot Oude Meester Peppermint Liqueur • Layer ingredients into a tot glass, Peppermint Liqueur first and then the Amarula Cream. Enjoy! Visit amarula.com for fabulous recipes, gifting inspiration and interesting facts about Amarula, or check out their Facebook page (facebook.com/AmarulaSouthAfrica) and Twitter @amarula.

* Alcohol sale prohibited to persons under 18 years of age.

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WATCH | GUIDE

Watch this...

From space adventures to childhood fun, crime and local heartbreak, you’re sure to be glued to the big screen this month. THE MARTIAN

PAN

See page 15 for details

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See page 15 for details

BLACK MASS

PAN Release date: 9 October Pan tells the origin story of the boy who never grew up, Peter Pan. When 12-yearold orphan Peter is whisked away to the magical world of Neverland, he goes on amazing adventures, while trying to uncover the secret of his mother and find his rightful place in this magical land. It’s quite a departure for Joe Wright, who directed adaptations of Atonement, Pride & Prejudice and Anna Karenina, so it remains to be seen if his talents suit this classic children’s fable. Anticipatometer: n n n

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MOVIE GIVEAWAY

Release date: 16 October Johnny Depp, Joel Edgerton and Benedict Cumberbatch head up this historical crime thriller. In the 1970s in South Boston, FBI Agent John Connolly (Edgerton) persuades Irish mobster James ‘Whitey’ Bulger (Depp) to collaborate with the FBI and eliminate a common enemy: the Italian mob. The alliance spirals out of control, allowing Whitey to consolidate his ruthless power in Boston. Scott Cooper directed the acclaimed Crazy Heart, so hopes are high for this one. Anticipatometer: n n n n

DIS EK, ANNA

MOVIE GIVEAWAY

BLACK MASS

THE MARTIAN

Release date: 2 October Ridley Scott hit a bit of a speed bump with his last two flicks, The Counselor and Exodus: Gods and Kings, but this one, starring the talented Matt Damon, sounds rather promising. When a manned mission to Mars goes awry, astronaut Mark Watney is presumed dead and left behind on the planet by his crew. Watney fights hard to survive in the harsh environment, armed with only a few supplies and his ingenuity. His main mission then becomes to signal to others on earth that he’s still alive … but will he make it? Anticipatometer: n n n n

DIS EK, ANNA Release date: 23 October Controversial new local film Dis ek, Anna – based on the books Dis ek, Anna and Die Staat teen Anna Bruwer by South African author Anchien Troskie – deals with the sexual abuse of Anna Bruwer at the hands of her stepfather over a period of eight years. Years later, a broken Anna takes revenge on the man who stole her childhood, and the film chronicles the court case that follows. It looks like bold, transgressive filmmaking and a solid entry in local cinematic drama. Anticipatometer: n n n n

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GUIDE | LISTEN

Listen up

Raina Julies runs the gamut of genres this musical month with new R&B, rock and pop all vying for her eardrums.

UNBREAKABLE BMG After a seven-year hiatus from releasing new music, Janet is back! Whether you’re a fan or not, you have to acknowledge that she’s a force to be reckoned with in the world of R&B. Many up-and-coming artists look to her as their inspiration and, listening to Unbreakable, it’s easy to understand why – she’s still got it. The first song off the long-awaited album is ‘No Sleeep’ (sic) featuring J. Cole and written by Janet in collaboration with producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, which demonstrates her skill for combining the words of every person’s true life experience with a catchy melody. Her music envelopes you and either gets you moving or chills you out big time – perfect for battling rush-hour traffic! Pre-order the album for R99.99 on iTunes and give it a listen yourself – you might find that you agree with me.

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IRON MAIDEN

THE BOOK OF SOULS PARLOPHONE I like to think of myself as having eclectic taste in music. However, I’ll admit that heavy metal tests that particular theory. Nevertheless, The Book of Souls starts off with a haunting melody that I found so beautiful and yet, even when the beat picked up, the song still had me. One thing I really enjoyed about this CD was that even if I didn’t think I liked the music and the high-octane screaming, I found the lyrics really smart and sometimes I just listened to the words. At no point was I tempted to head bang or revert to any other typical head action, but for the most part, I really did enjoy this and I understand why Iron Maiden has been around since 1975 – after decades in the business, they still have that edgy sound that’s typical of the genre. Give it a try for R119.99 on iTunes. [Ed’s note: check out page 88 for more news.]

CARLY RAE JEPSEN

E•MO•TION (DEluxE) uNIvErsal MusIc If you told someone I was a Carly Rae Jepsen fan, I would deny, deny, deny. But that would be a lie, because I’ll sure as hell be in the front row when Carly performs at the Grand Arena on the 21st of this month. Carly herself admits that pop was missing something – and we all agree – and this mature pop album brings a little of that back … in a big way. She’s channelled the Cindy Lauper/Madonna/ Prince era by bringing back the iconic sounds of 80s pop. She worked with a host of really diverse producers to do so, but the album is surprisingly cohesive. I am particularly in love with ‘Making the Most of the Night’, which she co-wrote with Sia. And ‘I Didn’t Just Come Here to Dance’ shows us that Carly is simply genius. And while only 12 tracks made it to the original album, there are six more to enjoy on the deluxe edition.

pictures: supplied

JANET JACKSON

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fire Man on

SAMA-nominated singer-songwriter Bongeziwe Mabandla chats to Keith Bain about his journey so far. Many of the festivals I’ve performed at overseas are attended by artists from all over the world. When you perform at these gigs, your music speaks for the place from which you come. Part of what appeals to foreign audiences is that my music is distinctly African. I grew up in the rural Eastern Cape and I mostly sing in Xhosa, weaving together traditional elements and influences into my own brand of folk music. My songs are stories. I sing about everyday situations – issues many people can relate to. Growing up, I always wanted to sing, but I didn’t think I had the kind of voice that people would want to listen to. My mother was very influential in me becoming an artist. She encouraged me, telling me I could become whoever I wanted in life, and pushed me in the right direction.

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I really discovered my love of music when I listened to Lauryn Hill and Tracy Chapman for the first time. They struck me because their music speaks about things that I thought and felt, but I hadn’t yet realised that people spoke or wrote songs about these things. They showed me the link between music and deep thoughts and feelings; music as a way of conveying a deeper message. As a student at AFDA in Jo’burg, I knew I had something inside – something to say and something to give. It worried me that I might grow old without ever expressing the things I felt inside. I was fortunate to receive the odd nudge from people who said they recognised my potential. I needed to hear those words of encouragement with my own ears. I wrote my first

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Bongeziwe Mabandla’s 2012 album Umlilo, which means ‘fire’, earned him a pair of SAMA nominations, including Best Newcomer. Currently putting the final touches on his second album, he’s performing at Rocking the Daisies this month at Cloof Wine Estate in Darling, from 1-4 October. rockingthedaisies.com.

piece of music at that time – it’s the song ‘Freedom for Everyone’, which is on my first album. All I ever wanted was a record deal, but the business side of that isn’t always smooth. So many young black artists have tremendous talent and seem set for great things, but for some reason, their careers never reach their potential.

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I sometimes get the sense that if you want to make it big as a black musician in this country, you need to be making kwaito or house. When you’re talented and from the township or some rural setting, success is often very far away. It’s taken a while, but I have begun to understand my own strengths, my own power. Now that I’m 30, I’m starting to understand that everything I’ve gone through and dealt with to get where I am now is because of what I’ve put out there: my own actions and efforts. I think it’s important to be aware of your own strengths and use those to achieve what you want in life. As I grow older, I understand more about what I want to say with my songwriting. I guess what I truly believe in is freedom, and that’s what I try to express with my music: freedom to be,

freedom to speak your mind, freedom to live your life, freedom to dream. That’s what I want for my own life – to be completely free, to find happiness, to find meaning in life. I think we’re all engaged in this struggle to make our lives better, whether that means loving ourselves more or loving other people more. And that’s the point of view from which I write – it’s about trying to be more human, more free. Rocking the Daisies is one of those festivals that has really surprised me. It’s a predominantly white audience, but the crowd is quite open to music in general, so there’s a great vibe, and a cool mix of acts. It adds such a different dimension to a show when the crowd turns up eager to really listen, and to experience the music. Sometimes South Africans think that because they’re unfamiliar with a band or an artist, or because they don’t like an act, they can tune out or talk through the show. But I think it’s important to learn how to listen to music and take it in when you go to a show. And I think when you pay respect to the artist on stage, you hear more, you understand more, and you take more home than when you’re just standing in front of the stage chatting with your friends.

pictures: jonx pillemer, supplied

GUIDE | LISTEN

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Rush! What a

Thirty years is a long career in the pop industry. Jennifer Rush tells khuluma what it takes to keep the love powerful.

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text: raina julies; picture: xavier saer

LISTEN | GUIDE

I have been doing this for so long now and yet, I still remember what it felt like when I first realised that there was a place in the pop world for my style of singing. I come from a very musical family, so there was always music in our house and singing was something that we always did as a family. I went out into the world first as Heidi Stern and then as Jennifer Rush. I still remember the butterflies that I had the first time I was on stage and I still get them every time. I never expected that ‘The Power of Love’ would morph into the iconic anthem that it became. It was just one of those life-changing, special times that took even me by surprise. Often all the work on a song happens even before I commit anything to paper. I think long and hard about what I want to write and how I want to sing the song before I write the words down. Besides ‘The Power of Love’, two of my favourite songs to sing and perform are ‘Remind my Heart’ and ‘Now That I Found You’. The words are so simple and so true, which is what songs used to be about. While all my songs are special to me, ‘Now That I Found You’ is a song that I wrote for my daughter Ariel, so that makes it even more so. When I released my 10th album, it had been five years since I released any music. So much had changed in the industry and even though I hadn’t released anything, there were always tunes percolating! I can’t wait to start my world tour in South Africa this time. My fans here are wonderful and so very, very warm. I was in South Africa in the late 1990s

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I NEVER EXPECTED THAT ‘THE POWER OF LOVE’ WOULD MORPH INTO THE ICONIC ANTHEM THAT IT BECAME to record the background singers for the Credo album and then gladly came back to shoot the video. I am so passionate about this country and I always have been; even before my first visit, I was so excited to come here and discover it. I especially love the fact that the fans here all have their own dialect and language that they’ve grown up with but, in the true universal spirit of music, they can still enjoy each other’s company as fans. I am not at all daunted by the thought of going on stage with local musicians; if anything, it’s incredibly exciting to me! I spent time here in June to see how many talented musicians there are and I was not disappointed. And the vocalists here are incredible. In my opinion, right now is such an exciting time to be part of the South African music scene. South Africa is rich in culture, the talent is mindblowing and I enjoy listening to and working with SA musicians. My advice to young people would be the same, whether I was speaking to South Africans or anyone else: I firmly believe that they should try out anything they wish to try. When reality singing shows were first introduced to television audiences, I was highly skeptical about them, mostly because I felt so bad for

the contestants! Now that these shows have been around for a while, I can see that the contestants are more aware of how difficult the process can be and the production staff are more sensitive to the emotional wellbeing of each contestant. Now I realise that these shows can be a great learning experience for contestants to determine whether or not they really want a career as a performer, and if they’d actually be good at it. Most of my advisory staff started off working towards being performers, but then they discovered that they could still be involved in the industry by fulfilling other roles. With enough exposure, many people eventually figure out that the reality of being a performer is just too harsh. It’s always a challenge to age with grace. In a way, the fans still want you to have the big hair and the iconic leather jacket and to look like you did when you were 20. I hope I am achieving a timeless look. Social media is a new game to me, so I leave it up to my management team. I do spend as much time as possible connecting with my fans when I’m performing. Our Facebook and Twitter feeds do keep the fans informed with what I’m up to and thankfully – for the foreseeable future – that’s a lot!

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That’s the

spirit!

picture: supplied

UK rockers Bring Me the Horizon released their latest album in September to critical acclaim. Gary Cool gets into the spirit with drummer Matt Nicholls.

Gary Cool: British rock bands dominated the rock scene in America and internationally in the late 60s and 70s, with the likes of Led Zeppelin, The Stones and, of course, The Beatles. Now it seems UK bands are back, dominating the world of rock music with bands such as Royal Blood, Arctic Monkeys, Florence and the Machine and more. I definitely feel that now is Bring Me The Horizon’s time to be one of the biggest rock bands in the world. I was hoping Sempiternal would do that for you, and it almost did. I do think That’s The Spirit might be the album to take you there. Matt Nicholls: That would be really nice, Sempiternal laid the groundwork. I guess it didn’t take us to the very top. I don’t even know what the very top is, but it opened a lot of doors for us and it got us doing a lot of things that we wanted done. Hopefully this record can keep doing the same thing. If it doesn’t

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get us to the very top or whatever, then so be it. As long as we had a good time doing it, I don’t care where we end up. GC: I have a five-year-old daughter by the name of Isabella and she is a Bring Me The Horizon fan. MN: Ah, cute. GC: She begged me for a drum kit for her fifth birthday, so I got her one. She’s got some skill. As her favourite drummer, do you have any tips to impart? MN: Practice. Practice makes perfect. Because I grew up on a normal estate, I couldn’t play drums at home because I’d have the neighbours coming round every few seconds, so in a way, I wish that I could have played more and practised more. I could hardly play the drums when we started the band and we started touring almost straight away, so I learned on the road. I guess my best advice is just practice. Practice makes perfect.

GC: You guys played at RAMFest in South Africa in 2013, I was the MC on the stage you performed at. There were a lot of people, especially in the media area, who weren’t big fans of your brand of music and most of them hadn’t heard much about the band, but they were impressed by your performance and were soon converted into Bring Me The Horizon fans. MN: I remember South Africa vividly. We had the best time and to top it off, the shows were really good. That’s really cool, it’s always good to hear that we are still winning people over. GC: RAMFest founder Dawid Fourie wants to know when Bring Me The Horizon will return to South Africa. MN: Whenever they’ll have us. Whenever they want us, we’ll come. We had a really good time the last time we were there and we’re willing to go wherever we can.

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All along the

Bone Tower

picture: supplied

Keith Bain talks to Daniel Hampton, the real person behind Thomas Krane, the musical phenomenon that has just released a devastatingly beautiful sophomore album: Bone Tower.

Part of Thomas Krane’s back story is that he’s one half of a Siamese twin. The other half had to be sacrificed in order for him to live. That’s his birth story, but his name’s random; it just popped into my head. I use a pseudonym because my music is quite personal, and having a character allows me to explore – lyrically – areas that are outside myself. Novelists always get away with it, but with musicians people assume everything’s autobiographical. This affords me some distance from the material, although there’s a blurring between what is personal and what isn’t. I tinkered with several instruments in high school. I started playing seriously when I was 17 and got a bass guitar from my folks. Beyond a couple of lessons, I’ve been mainly self-taught, the downside of which is that everything’s trial and error. The upside is that the sound you develop as a musician is unique and non-formulaic.

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Six years ago, my first album was produced in my bedroom. I spent so many hours putting it together that even though I didn’t know what I was doing, I could tweak it to the point where my product was pretty beautiful. All of it – mic, software, everything – cost less than R5 000. That’s the amazing thing about technology – with enough time and some vision, you can just tinker and produce something. Bone Tower has been very different. After a crowd-sourcing exercise to raise funds for equipment, I was approached by Dirk Hugo, an experienced producer. He has a great studio at his house and picks a couple of projects each year that he works on as a hobby – for the love of it. We spent hundreds and hundreds of hours making this album at a very leisurely pace. It took nine months of weekends and evenings. For me, songwriting is like sucking blood from a stone. I force myself to sit

down with the guitar and once there’s a chord progression I like, I’ll sing over that in complete gibberish and record it onto my phone. Eventually there’ll be a melody that sticks, and it builds from that, one bit at a time, with the first line setting the tone and theme of the song. My music doesn’t have a message. It’s for the heart. I don’t mind what people take out of it; I just want them to feel something – preferably something they can’t quite put their finger on. And feel it strongly. My long-term plan is to casually release an album every five years. When I’m ready for early retirement at 45, I’ll get picked up and spend my twilight years touring the world and performing. That’s my plan. Bone Tower was officially launched on 18 September – download or stream via thomaskrane.bandcamp.com. Thomas Krane will be touring South Africa in January 2016.

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Flying fists of crazy

This was our first time performing in South Africa. Over the years, we’ve been aware of our South African fanbase because of MySpace and Facebook – I saw our fans posting about wanting us to come perform here. We’ve also met several South Africans who made the trip to the United Kingdom to come to our shows and meet us. I’ll be honest: I know very little about the South African music scene, but I want to check out 16Stitch, who’ve apparently been heavily influenced by our sound. However, the first thing I did when I arrived here was seek out the finest of your local craft beers! In terms of preparing an appropriate set list for a show, we always try to sustain a balance of old and new

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material, so there’s a little something for everyone. With this being our first time in your country, we really buckled down to put together something special. The next time we head to South Africa, we hope it will be to support the Deftones, because they just plain rule and I’m sure South Africa loves them too. Time and Trauma is the band’s highest-charting record on the Billboard 200. I think the key to its success is down to our fans, who are very loyal to us and we couldn’t be more grateful for it. Having Mickey [Whitney] back in the band was huge for the musicianship, because he’s an incredible bass player. With him back and the addition of Kyle [Baltus] on drums, ability aside, they both breathed

so much energy back into us. It allowed us to really create something that we’re extremely proud of. 36 Crazyfists was part of the famed Roadrunner Records era, where the hottest metal bands in the world were signed to the label, releasing some timeless albums. I do think fondly of those days. Roadrunner, and specifically Monte Conner [former senior VP of A&R for Roadrunner Records and current head of Nuclear Blast Entertainment], made our dreams come true. So it will always hold a special place in my heart for the rest of my life. The band’s latest album, Time and Trauma, is now available via Spinefarm Records.

picture: supplied

36 Crazyfists tore up the local stage and local eardrums at the recent Krank’d Up festival in Alberton. Sergio Pereria caught up with bellowing vocalist Brock Lindow to chat about the local music scene, their new album and the good ol’ days.

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Twiddle your thumbs Conquer the underworld, shred your guitar and chart the uncharted with this month’s digital delights.

PC, PS4, Xbox One The new iteration of the Assassin’s Creed franchise takes place during the Industrial Revolution, following twins Jacob and Evie Frye through London’s Victorian era in their fight against the established order of the Templars. Vehicles expand the Assassin’s Creed gameplay, adding a new dimension to the pillars of navigation, combat, and stealth within London’s bustling streets. Explore a mix of opulent, historical landmarks across London’s boroughs, exquisitely crafted in rich detail. Engage in hand-to-hand brawls as an improved flow of combat seamlessly

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maintains the momentum of multikill streaks, with an array of offensive and defensive items. Each of the twins embodies a different style of assassin, one representing raw power and the other precision, deftly characterised by unique animations.

text and pictures: supplied by BT games

ASSASSIN’S CREED SYNDICATE

Take over the London underworld, and bring freedom to the oppressed masses and justice to the lawless streets. Become the first assassin at the birth of the modern age! Pre-order from BT Games to get a lanyard and added downloadable content.

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GAMES | GUIDE

GUITAR HERO LIVE Mobile, PS3, PS4, Wii U, Xbox 360, Xbox One The reboot of the Guitar Hero franchise introduces major changes to the core gameplay, and expands the musical experience with new levels of visual and aural interaction. Take centre stage across a variety of epic venues as you play in front of crowds who react to your guitar talent, and interact with your band mates on stage to bring the roof down.

Play and discover new songs on Guitar Hero TV as a continuous broadcast of music videos pursue the demand of your guitar controller skills. Play the songs you want with friends to level up and earn in-game rewards. Expand your music knowledge with hundreds of songs playable on Day One (and pre-order to get a free guitar strap). Spanning multiple genres and diverse timelines, there are countless epic soundtracks waiting to be mastered and enjoyed. The game also introduces an all-new guitar controller featuring a new sixbutton layout, making playing easier to pick up, yet more challenging to master.

text and pictures: supplied by BT games

UNCHARTED: THE NATHAN DRAKE COLLECTION PS4 One of the greatest PlayStation adventure franchises is set to make its appearance on the PS4 this month. Follow in the footsteps of the world’s greatest treasure hunter across a trilogy of genredefining titles in Unchartered: The Nathan Drake Collection. Remastered to take full advantage of the power of the PS4, the graphical enhancements include a sultry full high-definition update, with a frame rate increase smoothing gameplay and allowing

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precise control of Nathan Drake in his adventures around the world. Partake in adventures across all three Uncharted titles as you explore jungles to uncover terrible secrets, witness the dangerous beauty of the Himalayan valley of Shambhala as Drake becomes embroiled in a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse, and embark on the search

for the fabled ‘Atlantis of the Sands’ on a perilous journey into the heart of the Arabian Desert. The new Uncharted features a new Photo Mode to capture the beauty of all your adventures, with graphical filters and camera controls to customise your shots and share with your friends. Discover the man. Uncover a legend.

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GUIDE | TECH

Sounding off

Andy Walker of Gearburn.com surveys the gizmos making music that much more manageable.

While services are great, you'll more than likely need a physical companion, and the Sony Xperia Z3 can fit this bill. With a brilliant built-in music player, the Xperia Lounge (which allows its users to grab exclusive MashLab mash-ups from South African artists) and a waterproof exterior, the phone can store up to 128GB of music, so you can listen to more tunes anywhere, anytime. R6 799, ExCellular.

pictures: supplied

Wireless headphones are definitely all the rage at the moment, and the Samsung Level Over range is the best we’ve used thus far. Although they’re expensive, they have noise-cancellation capability, while boasting impressive sound quality at any volume. They last around seven hours on a single charge, and can play via Bluetooth or a line-in cable. R5 500, Samsung.

POCKET PARTNER

JOIN THE CLUB

Don’t fancy a ballet with Apple? TuneIn Radio is a nifty cross-platform app that allows its users to stream various global radio stations, including smaller local stations. Hashtag Radio is a great place to listen to Africa's most prominent tech personalities, and the soon-to-be-launched NicheStreem promises a curated musicstreaming service for niche musical markets like Afro-pop and Nigerian gospel. Free, Android and iOS app stores.

The Huawei Culture Club is an interesting bridge between a technology company and South Africa's growing festival scene. This little app allows subscribers to access the latest news surrounding the music events, while scoring some cheaper tickets. It's part of Huawei's push into the South African smartphone market and it’s largely working. Free, Android and iOS app stores.

NO WIRE, MORE FIRE

GOING INTERNATIONAL

CRANK IT UP

If you're throwing a party, headphones simply won't do. That's when the Braven 705 comes into view. These multicoloured, waterproof, portable speakers will easily fill a lounge with music streamed from a smartphone. The speaker can be paired via Bluetooth or used with a more traditional line-in cable. More importantly though, thanks to its large battery, the Braven 705 will easily survive the average load-shedding schedule, while boasting enough juice to charge your phone. Brilliant! R1 699, iStore.

For more insightful gadget and gaming news, check out gearburn.com.

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, may we present, for one wild flight only: Liezel van der Westhuizen!

is a A K A s n cko Liezel re nd his a s u m a pot hiphopo mless o t t o b e r lyrics a ves to o r p n o m i Barney S â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never too loud at it Liezel th o old o t r e v e re n and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

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Chat

Join the...

2015/09/18 2:42 PM

FYI

with

Hip-hop producer, songwriter and performer AKA is thinking outside the hip-hop box. Liezel van der Westhuizen finds out what it takes to be a rap superstar.

AKA

Liezel van der Westhuizen: First up, tell me where the nickname AKA came from. AKA: I was in a group when I was much younger and we all decided that we needed rap names. I chose AKA because I’m a producer, I’m a performer, I’m a songwriter, I’m on TV, I can play many different roles to different people. LvdW: Brilliant. Your musical career started when you were quite young. How did that progress to where you are today? AKA: I started messing around with writing, making and producing music when I was relatively young – in my first year of high school in 2002. We just felt invigorated and inspired by hip-hop from South Africa and around the world. It wasn’t until about 2008 that I realised this

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was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life as a career. LvdW: How has the hip-hop scene changed since you first discovered it? AKA: There has been a huge change in the African scene over the past five to seven years, because I think South Africans are now more proud than ever of their own artists, their own stories, the slang we’re using and the way we’re dressing. That’s only going to grow exponentially: hip-hop in the media, with corporates, the Vodacoms and MTNs. I did a Hunter’s Dry ad the other day, I headlined OppiKoppi – a South African hip-hop artist on the main stage of that festival! Maybe the next generation of artists will be able to go even further because of what I’m doing.

LvdW: Speaking of firsts, you’re also one of the first artists to say you’re not going to open for international acts because of poor treatment. AKA: [Laughs] Well it’s not only because of the treatment. The main reason is that, you know, when people come from overseas to perform here and we open for them, it doesn’t make sense. Who are we performing to? These are my people. They know who I am. That’s something I really picked up on my travels to Nigeria, around the continent and around the world: South Africans need to take a little more pride in our own artists. I suppose it just comes from the amount of international music on our radio and TV, and if we can get more local music

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MUSICIAN | CHAT

‘WHEN PEOPLE COME FROM OVERSEAS TO PERFORM HERE AND WE OPEN FOR THEM, IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. WHO ARE WE PERFORMING TO? THESE ARE MY PEOPLE’

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CHAT | MUSICIAN

pictures: supplied

out there that’ll help change the mind-set. But this is what I’ve decided to do to try and turn the tide. At the start of my career it was great for the exposure, but now I’m already exposed to my own people.

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LvdW: What advice would you give to learners who are still in school and who want to get into your industry, who want to follow in your footsteps? AKA: I think it’s very important for people to get education, work hard at school, listen to your parents, but at some point you need to decide what you want to do, and if that’s a career in music you need to understand that it’s not for everybody – not everybody can make a success of it and turn it into a livelihood. There’s no science, no textbook, no internships, no rules. You have to have talent and you have to sacrifice a lot. It’s got to be something that consumes you every single day. LvdW: You mention sacrifice. Looking back now, what is the biggest thing you’ve sacrificed getting to where you are today? AKA: I’ve sacrificed time with my family. I’ve sacrificed many things that people take for granted. I’ve learned the value of the little things like spending time with your mom or going on holiday. I can’t go on holiday during Christmas or Easter or New Year because I’m working. As an entertainer, you’re the one entertaining people during their holidays. It’s a very demanding job. LvdW: You have a working relationship with your mom, right? AKA: Yeah, she does work with me. At the moment she’s helping to raise my daughter, which is, I think, what she’d really like to be doing. LvdW: How have things changed since the arrival of the little one? AKA: Not a lot of sleep. LvdW: [Laughs] Shame. AKA: I’m trying to immerse myself in the little things like changing nappies or

feeding her. It’s hard when I have to go touring on weekends because I want to see her. Being a father is something I’m embracing with open arms. I love the challenge and I love challenging myself. LvdW: Would you want her to follow in your footsteps? AKA: [Laughs] I don’t really know. At the end of the day I’d like her to do what makes her heart happy. I think maybe work in a bank or become an accountant. LvdW: A real job, as some would say. AKA: Yeah. LvdW: What have been some of the most memorable moments in your career? AKA: Releasing my debut album. Attending my first South African Music Awards [SAMAs], where I won two awards. My second album, where I won another SAMA and an MTV Africa award. But awards aren’t everything; for me it’s about my albums because it takes a lot of work to make an album. Each of my albums took about two-and-a-half years to make. They’re like my other children. LvdW: [Laughs] When I tweeted that I was interviewing you, a lot of people wanted to know when you’re dropping a new single. AKA: My next single was just released in mid-September, and my next album will probably be out March next year. I’m not going to bow to pressure to hurry it; I know what it takes to put out an award-winning album, so I’m taking my time. LvdW: What stuff are you listening to? AKA: I listen to all types of music. Obviously hip-hop, but also a lot of electronic dance music, a lot of my father’s

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‘THE OTHER DAY SOMEBODY POSTED ON FACEBOOK THAT I’D DIED. I THOUGHT IT WAS KINDA FUNNY’ old music like Lionel Richie or Prince or Michael Jackson, also Daft Punk, and new music that’s being released. As a producer, you can’t be stuck in a hip-hop box. LvdW: This being the Rocktober issue, is there any local or international rock band you’d consider teaming up with? AKA: Does Beatenberg count as rock? LvdW: Kind of. AKA: They’re like pop rock. I like them. I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know Francois van Coke and I like Van Coke Kartel. I like Cassette. Fokofpolisiekar, Die Heuwels Fantasties, stuff like that. LvdW: When you’re not in studio, what do you do to relax? AKA: I’m a serial TV watcher. I watch the news, Discovery Channel, National Geographic, and I’m very happy to see Trevor Noah hosting The Daily Show. I used to be quite an avid gamer, but I don’t really get much time for that any more. LvdW: You once said putting a band together was the best thing you ever did for your career. Why? AKA: A band allows you to be dynamic. When people think of a rap or hip-hop artist, they just expect you to show up there with a mic and a DJ and sing over the tracks. I’ve made an effort to get my live performance to the same level as the Mi Casas and the Beatenbergs of the industry. I’m a firm believer in taking South African hip-hop out of the box where people think it should be and to places like OppiKoppi. I don’t really perform in clubs any more; I can do festivals now. LvdW: You’re in the media all the time. What’s the craziest rumour you’ve heard about yourself?

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AKA: I try not to pay attention to those sorts of things. I’ve gotten to the point when I don’t really tweet that much any more. I don’t really care what people are saying about my life. I know my own life. LvdW: And obviously your friends and family know what the real stories are. AKA: Yeah. But the other day somebody posted on Facebook that I’d died. LvdW: I saw that! How did you react? AKA: I thought it was kind of funny, but my grandmother didn’t really think it was funny; she thought I was dead. LvdW: Sometimes the rumour mill can cause heartache. AKA: I’m just a piece of meat to the media. It doesn’t faze me. I’ve developed a really thick skin over the years, but my family isn’t really conditioned to deal with that sort of thing. LvdW: You lived in Cape Town before you moved to Jo’burg. If aliens came to Cape Town, what would be the first thing you’d show them? AKA: Royale Eatery on Long Street. LvdW: They just won a spot on the Top Five Burgers in the World list! AKA: Well, there you go. LvdW: Thank you so much for your time. AKA: Thank you. Good luck with the magazine.

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The

Rockfather Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been punting rock music and local bands for decades, now Barney Simon chats to Liezel van der Westhuizen about community radio, Iron Maiden and being able to swear on his app.

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DJ | CHAT

Liezel van der Westhuizen: Hi Barney, when they told me I was doing the Rocktober issue of khuluma I decided I had to interview you. Barney Simon: Well, that’s nice of you. LvdW: First up, how did it all start for you? You’ve been in the industry so long and now you’re being introduced to a whole new generation of youngsters. BS: I joined the SABC in 1981. It was still Radio Vyf in those days. LvdW: [Laughs] BS: My background was in sound engineering. I didn’t want to be a presenter on air. I did production for all the big names like John Berks and Kevin Savage and they taught me everything. We started a thing called the Terrible Twins on a Saturday afternoon when we played alternative music, which nobody else played. LvdW: [Laughs] BS: In those days we took in a packet of chips and a bottle of whisky and finished those on air, we could smoke in the studios, there were no rules. We played vinyl and our commercials were still the old four-track reel-to-reel. Then I worked with David Gresham. He said to me, ‘Talk into the mic when I talk to you,’ but I was Afrikaans and I couldn’t speak English properly, and I was really shy. He said, ‘Don’t be shy, just put the mic on and talk,’ and that’s how I got started. One day I got pitched for a show by my boss and I nearly panicked, because then I was on my own! LvdW: That’s real rock ’n roll – you were just thrown in at the deep end and you took it from there. BS: Ja, every day in radio is different and you learn something, and you just want to deliver the best. Now it’s the other way around and I teach all the youngsters at Jacaranda. It’s different now with social media, though – more dangerous. In the old days it was more theatre of the mind;

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now it’s a visual thing while you’re on air. Social media can ruin your whole career with one tweet. LvdW: It’s completely changed from when you started out. Speaking of social media, you’ve now got your own Barney Simon app.

‘AFTER 5FM, NOBODY WAS GOING TO PLAY MY BRAND OF RADIO IN THIS COUNTRY’ BS: We launched that a couple of months ago. I worked at Tuks for five years and I really enjoyed the Monday night show because I could play dirty metal and black metal and stuff that I like. That was the only outlet for that stuff after I left 5FM; nobody was going to play my brand of radio in this country. I loved it at Tuks, but when I started at Jacaranda it was tough to do both. I thought there was nowhere for me to play music I really love. Then Kagiso Media approached me with the idea of the app and asked if I wanted to be a partner. I hate technology, but when I saw this, I thought I could put something amazing on it. I can do anything – I can swear on it if I want. LvdW: No, you can’t swear on it! BS: I can swear on my app if I want to. I can play all the unedited songs with profanity in them. There’s freedom of speech on my app, which I like. LvdW: Or you could say ‘Barney Effing Simon’.

BS: Exactly. We’re playing all kinds of music, from Led Zeppelin to Black Sabbath. And a first for South Africa is that we’re teaming up with Big Concerts to do the Iron Maiden concert. They’re only going to advertise the breaking news about the concert on my app. And on the day of the concert in Jo’burg, the app will do a 24hour Iron Maiden stream with interviews, a live feed and that sort of thing. It just shows you the power of an app now – Big Concerts could’ve gone to a radio station and advertised, but where do you advertise Iron Maiden? The big stations don’t play it, so I approached them and said let’s do something different. I think that’s the future. We want to do something different, especially for the metal fans. LvdW: How have you seen the industry change from when you were at 5FM? There are so few stations playing harder rock and death-metal stuff now. BS: Well they look at the demographics. And everybody plays it safe, and whatever the US is playing, South Africa is playing. DJs have lost the power over what music they play. If I go on air and play Nirvana and Pink Floyd it’ll confuse our listeners. They’re like robots; they feel comfortable with safe music. So when I go on air I play Beyoncé and I try to find something nice to say about her. It’s difficult, but… LvdW: Well, it’s her birthday today, so there’s that. BS: [Laughs] It’s not about the music I play any more; it’s about families and values – that’s what this station is about and I’ve adapted quite easily. I don’t talk about sex or religion on my show because I know I’ll get into trouble. But I love listening to Rian [van Heerden] in the morning because he’s got an open mind. I like that kind of radio. Like Gareth Cliff – he’s also launched his own thing, CliffCentral.

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‘THERE’S SO MUCH TO REALLY WRITE ABOUT. WE NEED A BIT OF A REVOLUTION IN LOCAL MUSIC’ LvdW: But Gareth hasn’t had nice things to say about you in the press. BS: Ag, you know, he made a mistake by rushing into it but then it flopped. And he got egg on his face by blaming me and Alex Jay for selling out. Now I’ve got my app and I know where he’s coming from. I respect him and he respects me. He left with such a big mouth, though. If he’d gone out in style, then we would’ve all been there to help him. Be nice to people on your way up because you’re going to meet them on the way down – it happened to me. LvdW: Absolutely. BS: This industry is so small. We’re all friends, the record industry and the radio industry. You worked at a record company and you know how tough it is to get your music on the radio. In the old days, the reps used to walk into the studio with the vinyl or CD and I’d play it on air. These days everything goes through a committee. I’ve been against that all my life. If I hear something nice, I’ll go to the music manager and tell him I want to play it. LvdW: You’ve always embraced the local music scene, though, and you were

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known for breaking bands. I remember as a student going with you to Witbank to judge Battle of the Bands. The winning band ended up being Prime Circle. BS: I remember. They gave me their demo a long time ago and I loved it. LvdW: What advice have you got for up-and-coming bands if the radios don’t want to play their stuff? BS: The problem in South Africa is venues. Where do you play now? Bands need to go find venues, book out town halls. That’s why I have a lot of respect for Afrikaans musicians, because they do that. I think the Barnyard Theatre is a good angle for bands – they’ve got great venues all over the country. I say, come up with a concept. Whenever I chat to Johnny Clegg, he says it’s not about him; it’s about the event. He does storytelling. He does a full-on Zulu dance. He does Johnny Clegg and friends. That’s how clever that man is and a lot of bands could learn from guys like him. LvdW: What do you think about the quality of songwriting in this country? BS: It’s become very boring. Bands used to write about apartheid and what was going

on in the country, and now with all the corruption and violence there’s so much to really write about. We need a bit of a revolution in local music. LvdW: Which SA bands would you love to see re-formed? BS: I think Squeal. We did that tour in 1996 with Springbok Nude Girls, Battery 9, Squeal, Sugardrive, Lithium – those were the bands. The other day we thought about getting those five bands back together. LvdW: Okay, my last question. What kind of musical world do you think we’re leaving for Keith Richards? Because you know he’s going to live forever. BS: I think as long as he’s got a guitar in his hand, he’ll live forever. You know, look at all these young bands, like One Direction, who split up after one year of touring because they’re tired. Shame, those poor boys, while the Rolling Stones are still going. LvdW: And they all play instruments too. BS: It’s a friendship. It’s a marriage between band members. You go through ups and downs, you break up, you get back together. Can you imagine how many songs they’re written? What I’d like to see in South Africa is more collaboration between musicians. I think musos shouldn’t be shy. LvdW: Barney, thank you so much for your time!

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Music sounds

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BRIDGES FOR MUSIC | LOCAL HERO

It’s a global movement that’s most glaringly associated with hedonism and maniac DJs. But beyond the dancefloor decadence of the electronic music scene, a growing number of artists believe the scene can be used to create positive change in the world. Keith Bain cranks up the volume.

‘S

ay what you like about electronic music, but the reality is that it’s a multibilliondollar industry,’ says Ryan Murgatroyd, a name synonymous with South African house music. ‘So when you have one-sixth of the world’s population listening to one style of music, you have ask yourself how we can use this as a vehicle for change and how we can empower people through it.’ With a residency in Berlin and a reputation for breaking boundaries with his Africaninspired electronica, Ryan is also known as one-half of ‘ghetto tech’ duo Crazy White Boy. Unbeknown to most people you’d find partying to his music, though, is Ryan’s involvement with Bridges for Music, a non-profit organisation that serves as a platform to help develop electronic music within the poorest communities. Using electronic music and top-calibre artists as a magnet, the foundation functions as a bridge, connecting aspiring DJs and electronic producers to the world, while also inspiring young people to reach for their dreams.

LET THERE BE HOUSE Headquartered in Cape Town, the foundation was established by long-time Ibiza club promoter Valentino Barrioseta, following encounters with house music during visits into some of South Africa’s most impoverished neighbourhoods. He found makeshift studios in the unlikeliest of places, music schools operating between the shacks, and young people pouring their hearts and souls into music – township house – that serves as a common thread between diverse people. He discovered, too, that within these communities, electronic music is by far the largest genre. ‘South Africa has one of the highest DJ-per-capita ratios in the world,’ he says, ‘and virtually every youngster in the townships wants to be a DJ. In these environments, DJs are rock stars, with huge influence.’ He found similarities in Rio de Janeiro, where many aspiring musicians see music as the only way – aside from sport – to escape the favelas. What really touched Valentino, though, was that despite the passion of the people who were producing electronic music, throwing parties, DJ-ing, and running makeshift music schools, their potential was undercut by limited resources and a lack of access to the global industry. It was a gap he wanted to help bridge.

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‘In Ibiza, Valentino worked in the thick of the electronic scene at its most decadent,’ says Cape Town-based musician Trenton Birch, Bridges for Music’s Africa Director. ‘What he saw there made him realise that this industry, which has so much money and energy and power, could be used to assist people who have none of that.’ What Valentino also had at his fingertips were innumerable industry contacts. ‘The timing’s been excellent in terms of artists buying into the ethos of what we’re doing,’ says Trenton. ‘The scene’s been going for a long time and has always been notoriously hedonistic, but there are a lot of older producers, musicians and DJs who are saying, “Hang on, I’ve been having a fat jol for the last 20 years, I actually want to give something back!”.’ Early on, Valentino drew the likes of Richie Hawtin, Skrillex, Loco Dice, and Luciano, plus a string of local artists to participate in workshop events in the townships, where they also performed for community audiences. Mostly, their role is to inspire; they give their time and energy as a means of motivating aspiring young musicians and DJs to reach beyond psycho-geographic boundaries, hearing first-hand just how far music can take them. ‘Like sport, music is an escape hatch,’ says Trenton, ‘a potential gateway to a better life. And that’s an awareness these artists bring into the community.’

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THE RAW AND THE COOKED ‘We’re the only country in the world where you can turn on any radio station on a Monday morning and hear house music playing,’ says Ryan. ‘Its impact on this country is unbelievable,’ agrees Trenton, who says he’s heard international producers compare what they’ve witnessed in the townships to the early Detroit scene. ‘It’s a revolution, essentially. Twenty-one years ago, there was no urban music industry at all. Within two decades, from kwaito through to house, it’s revolutionised totally, giving a voice and an urban culture to our black youth who were once totally disenfranchised.’ Trenton says what’s significant about house music coming out of these communities is that ‘it has its own localised sound’. ‘When you play a Black Coffee or Culoe de Song track in the townships, people go mental for it, because it’s something they’re incredibly proud of,’ he adds. However, as Ryan points out, ‘there’s a lack of technical know-how that frequently undermines the full potential of these producers. We have this Afro rhythm pattern that translates into Afro-house – that’s unique. But then there’s not nearly the same degree of processing and cleaning up that the Europeans do. So the packaging is different. This means that

while the electronic music coming from our townships is something special, it’s also very difficult to play on a European dance floor, because the people don’t get it. ‘Europeans will say, “Oh, it’s African, it’s unique, it definitely doesn’t sound like anything else.” But that conceptual enthusiasm doesn’t go anywhere if crowds don’t understand what they’re hearing. Even our most prolific artists end up failing in Europe at the dance-floor level, because they can’t deliver a sound European listeners understand.’ Which is why Ryan believes that much of what’s required to take raw township electronic music to the next level is technical expertise. ‘It’s not for us to start changing the style of music these artists are creating,’ he says. ‘You want to capture that 40-piece African choir singing in a sublime, transcendent, untrained way – it’s fantastic and you don’t want to take away from the rawness of that performance. But you do have to repackage it so that people in Berlin can listen to it and have the same emotional experience. Electronic music is a huge science, and it takes 20 or 30 years of hard work to become a good mixing engineer.’ Ryan says this is one gap the Bridges for Music’s mentorship programme aims to fill. ‘It’s geek stuff, essentially – what South African producers aren’t necessarily very good at. It’s the

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BRIDGES FOR MUSIC | LOCAL HERO

BUILDING BRIDGES Most music fans aren’t even aware that they’ve helped contribute to Bridges for Music simply by attending certain events (such as this month’s Rocking the Daisies) or by supporting artists who’ve benefited from the organisation’s work. Visit bridgesformusic.org.

pictures: belia oh photography, nick muzik, red bull content pool

A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE ‘I think the core reason for dance music’s appeal is because it’s intrinsically appealing to some part of the brain. Repetitive music has been used in a various cultural contexts throughout history for the exploration of consciousness, the balancing of the psyche, and a host of really deep spiritual concerns. So it’s something intrinsically appealing to human beings. That’s why it crosses cultural boundaries. You can make a good deep-house track and play it in 70 different countries, and that sound will be the only common thread between all those different people. It’s a universal language.’ – Ryan Murgatroyd, electronic music producer BRIDGES OF INSPIRATION ‘I’m very inspired to be able to facilitate empowerment, mindexpanding opportunities that actually do make a real difference to people, as well as watching people grow. We have guys in the townships who, when we started, had no clue but are now running little studios and things are really starting to happen for them.’ – Trenton Birch, Bridges for Music Africa Director

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same influence sound engineers have with a band in the studio, where they take them from sounding like a group that’s recorded in a garage to Nirvana. ‘Bridges for Music’s developmental work includes taking young producers from the townships and schooling them in the technical know-how, so they can package African electronic music with all of its rawness and originality, and make it deliver on good sound systems. It’s about repackaging all this raw music in a technical format that can be delivered overseas. Because that’s the bridge that no one’s crossing.’ Having nurtured this raw talent, says Trenton, Bridges for Music also helps promote talented artists who haven’t had the right opportunities. ‘We’ve so far taken eight artists overseas – to perform at Glastonbury, Tomorrowland, Sónar in Barcelona, and the Amsterdam Dance Event. Some of these guys had never left Cape Town, so it’s a mindblowing experience for them.’

SCHOOL OF HARD ROCKS The organisation’s long-term goal is the establishment of electronic-music schools within underprivileged communities. The first will be in Langa, Cape Town, with building set to start next month. ‘It’s been a long process,’ says Trenton, ‘but if everything goes to plan, we should finally strike ground in November.’ Designed by Cape Town’s Tsai Design Studio, the school aims to become a creative hub, with lectures ranging from music production and video editing to graphic design and basic internet usage. Whatever the level of knowledge transfer, Trenton says it isn’t Bridges for Music’s primary goal to turn every child from the townships into a DJ. ‘Graduates who don’t end up working as professional

DJs or producers will still be empowered in other areas,’ he says, explaining that the school will provide a host of skills, including marketing and basic finance, that can be applied even to ventures that have nothing to do with music. ‘Music will always be the magnet, but the real end result is that people will leave with skills and be able to earn a living.’ ‘It’s not just about electronic music and parties,’ adds Ryan. ‘It’s about music technology in a broad sense. There are roles within this industry for people who want to have normal lives and don’t want to be superstars.’ It’s a vision whose worth Murgatroyd believes cannot be underestimated. ‘We are talking about the single biggest global cultural phenomenon in the history of the human race,’ he reiterates. ‘It’s an industry worth hundreds of billions of dollars and it’s growing. But the fact remains that Africa has yet to produce its fair share of superstars. That’s something we are going to achieve. But we need initiatives like Bridges for Music to help make that happen.’

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Fear and

loathing on the festival trail

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CHASING THE MUSIC | TRAVEL

Loud music. Drunken louts. Pollen and dust. Porta-loos. Wannabe hippies, hairy-faced hipsters. Rock stars, mouth organists, electro DJs keeping her up way after her bedtime. Armed with antihistamines, an extra roll of three-ply bog paper, a bikini, and an old friend, Katie Bigelow infiltrates Cape Town’s biggest music festival.

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e were somewhere between Malmesbury and Darling when the buzz took hold. A weird kind of childish hysteria brought on by our clueless anticipation of the coming days. It’d been an hour since I’d sailed up Denise’s driveway to snatch her from the clutches of domestic bliss. This was to be her first music festival since her dreary husband had cauterised her social life. ‘We need to blend in,’ I explained as we drove through the sun-dappled Swartland countryside. ‘We’re going undercover. Inconspicuousness is essential.’ Frankly, I had no idea what to expect. My editor, no doubt in a fit of blind-drunk desperation, had set me on a treacherous course: to infiltrate a gathering of ‘cataclysmically cool kids worshipping seismically hot rock stars’. Something was brewing, he said, and it was my job to be there to find out what. My editor had advised me to take swimming clothes, precaution against the dust and pollen, and my own supply of loo paper (‘just in case,’ he’d sniggered). He’d also suggested a leash for my car keys and a life-sized blow-up doll, at which point I’d threatened to set the dogs on him. In preparation, I’d scanned the line-ups on half-a-dozen different stages and done background checks on some of the acts. Some names I recognised, others were utter mysteries. I timed our arrival to miss the initial rush, but not too far into proceedings that we’d miss out on any of the action. But this generation was eager, we discovered, so by the time we turned off the main road, festivities were in full swing.

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TRAVEL | CHASING THE MUSIC

WE WERE SURROUNDED BY A MIX OF FRESHFACED YOUTHS WHO’D MYSTERIOUSLY TIMETRAVELLED FROM WOODSTOCK HEARTBREAK MOTEL No camping for us, I’d warned my editor. Denise refused to pitch a tent among the masses, so we skipped straight over to the Heartbreak Motel, where I’d secured one of the hard-to-come-by Memphis units, a veritable tented palace, within a secure, fenced-off area where hot showers were guaranteed. Inside, there were two proper beds with linens and towels. ‘Undercover!’ I reminded Denise as she grappled with her umpteenth outfit, pulling together a look that would make her stand out like a goth at a clown convention. We steadied our nerves with a few slugs of tequila and took handfuls of antihistamines to counteract any allergies. Then we disguised ourselves behind oversized sunglasses and set off towards the music and mayhem. The sun shone brightly on that opening afternoon as we padded through kaleidoscopic waves of neo-hippies grooving on hormone-fuelled lust and vodka-infused energy drinks. We found ourselves on a beach, alongside a dam filled with half-naked hipsters floating and splashing around amid inflatable canoes and Day-Glo lilos.

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Denise’s jaw hung open at the scene around us. We were surrounded by a mix of fresh-faced youths who’d mysteriously time travelled from Woodstock, plus boymen in bandanas and vests and skimpy shorts, and dainty young women floating around in sarongs and bikini tops. We sidled up to a bar peddling cocktails and watched girls dancing with hula hoops, pixies twirling umbrellas and sinewy Adonises playing with poi. Every so often a mob of crazies with water cannons would douse us with sprays of cooling mist. We tested our knees on a dance floor near the beach, swaying inconspicuously to the compulsive beat belonging to some unfathomable genre of music. A few songs and a couple of drinks in and we’d both found our rhythm. Denise had loosened her hips and I’d kicked off my shoes.

WISHIN’ ON A MISSION We careened from one performance to the next, taking in as much as possible, wishing we could be in several places all at once. All the while, I made scattered mental notes, trying to remember what the assignment was – or if in fact there’d ever been a clear mission.

We found the Nu World Beat Club, where there were bales of hay, farm animals and gypsy bands going wild on the stage. Musicians were belting out frothy tunes from accordions and folk instruments, sometimes singing in unidentifiable tongues. Every so often we’d unleash ourselves on the free-for-all entertainment happening on the vast field in front of the main stage. We waded into an ocean of outstretched arms and delirious faces, wave after wave of beautiful people in various states of intoxication. By day there were wholesome acts to temper raging headaches. One morning we caught a beautiful young man named Bongeziwe, who commanded the stage with his guitar and hypnotic voice [ed’s note: check out our interview on page 63]. Denise actually shed a few tears listening to him, and within seconds of Jeremy Loops strutting onto stage, she was overcome with emotion. It was only as the sun began to slink away that we recognised the real extent of the crowd: some 20-odd-thousand revellers who’d been spread out across various pockets of the party.

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CHASING THE MUSIC | TRAVEL

We found an elevated spot several hundred rows back from the stage and felt the roar and throb of the crowd as final mic checks and knob-twiddling preceded the first of the evening’s big international acts. And then the stage exploded into a billion flying pixels while lasers danced above our heads. Denise and I bounced and bopped and threw our arms high above our heads, surfing on a wave of spacey melodies. And every so often we’d interlink elbows with complete strangers and dance as one. Were we still actually undercover, I wondered. Or had this gigantic carnival consumed us, taken us hostage? I looked up and high above the heads of 20 000 dancing monkeys shone billions of stars. I watched with pride as Denise gave herself over to the hedonistic pull of the moment and witnessed the very instant that she had the life-changing epiphany. Without warning, she reached underneath her blouse and ripped off her bra and proceeded to swing it around her head. All around her, men half her age cheered her on, and by the time the chap with the feather headdress started singing, she’d flung her bra into the crowd and was being hoisted onto someone’s shoulders. Things had unexpectedly turned crazy and in the tumult of losing control,

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I closed my eyes for a few moments. When I opened them, Denise was gone. Hours later, Denise was still missing. I imagined her ripping up some dark corner of the dance floor and tried not to worry.

MIDNIGHT MEANDERINGS Insanity set in sometime after midnight – I’m not entirely sure which day it was. I found my way back to the tent and found Denise sitting calmly at the entrance to our canvas home sharing vodka with a group of half-naked 20-somethings. ‘There you are,’ she screeched. ‘Just in time! We’re about to hit the electronic dome – it’s right next door.’ Temperatures had dropped along with Denise’s inhibitions and she’d somehow procured a leopardprint onesie. We skipped across to the nearby electronic tent, where everyone was crammed tightly onto a vast pulsating dance floor. It was pure, unbridled excess as thousands of sweaty party monsters worshipped a succession of DJs tasked with steering this electric-sonic spaceship. Denise shot me an enormous smile, then grabbed my hand and pulled me forward as she navigated through the gyrating bodies into the very middle of the action. It was sheer, unhinged madness, a let-rip free-for-all that teetered close to

apocalyptic fervour. Dizzying energies mingled and collided, sustained by the effects of booze, high spirits and throbbing tunes. And we were in it, right in the thick of the maelstrom, bumping and grinding and losing our balance, swept along by the carefree mood of Generation Now. We had arrived at the very altar of radical hedonism and excess. And yet there was something pure and innocent and wondrous in what surrounded us – a collective desire to celebrate life. Somewhere beyond the perimeter of this carnival, the real world was in turmoil. Out there, politicians were scheming, Eskom was fading, Telkom was disconnected, and people everywhere were pissed off. Yet, in that moment on the dance floor with my old friend, life was beautiful. And we were among people who meant no harm at all. We’d infiltrated a music-infused parallel universe that had robbed us of sleep, subverted reality, and left us kicking and screaming for more. Having arrived there, we’d earned the right to dance like nobody was watching, and party like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, though, despite our exertions, I knew we’d probably only scratched the surface of an event that seemed impossible to put into words. Certainly not words my editor would believe.

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The state of

skate The sleeping giant of skating is waking up again. Will Edgcumbe busts a gnarly benihana.

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SKATE PARKS | TRAVEL

n the early 2000s it looked like skating would be our local youngsters’ new permanent pastime – Tony Hawk’s Underground was on every PC and PlayStation and introducing kids to a world of new music, skate parks were mushrooming everywhere, Blunt magazine was the cultural bible of every alternative kid, and scabby skater knees were a wellearned accessory. Then the scene fizzled – perhaps it grew too big, too quickly and couldn’t sustain itself. But after a few years in the wilderness, skateboarding is building momentum once again. Even at its most popular, skateboarding has always been an outsider scene – there’s something of the lone wolf about a guy or girl cruising the streets on their board – so it’s not surprising that skateboarding never seems to plateau. It’s crazy popular for a time and seems like it’ll take over the world, and then everyone ditches their skateboards for a mountain bike or longboard before the cycle repeats again after a few years. What is constant, though, are the die-hard adherents who carry the torch and pass it on to the new wave of skaters.

CHANGES DOWN THE YEARS One of those die-hards is Dave de Witt, who’s managed to make a career out of skating in an unusual way – he’s the creator of Sk8Shades, sunglasses handmade from used skateboards. ‘I’ve been skating for 28 years – since 1987!’ he says. ‘Things were different then. No internet, X Games or Street League, so progression happened a lot slower, and down here we were always a little behind. With the daily explosion of Instagram clips from your favourite professional

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TRAVEL | SKATE PARKS

skaters, local and abroad, kids are now exposed to fresh content hourly. Somehow, nowadays there are more older guys around who actually still skate and never quit, not like the “I used to skate, I’m getting back into it” over-35 dads who reminisce about the glory days. When I was a kid, the oldest guy I skated with was probably about 17.’ Dallas Oberholzer, a local skating pioneer and founder of Indigo Skate Camp, is another legend of the SA scene. ‘It’s been 30 years since I discovered skateboarding,’ says Dallas. ‘It would have been a lot rarer to come across skateboarding back in the 80s, whereas today, you’ve got parents encouraging their offspring to go outside and push themselves on a skateboard.’

THE NEW NORMAL The health of skateboarding in SA is hard to identify. Is it the number of skaters and skate parks? Or is it something more intangible than that? Skating is definitely more ‘normal’ these days, and part of the average South African’s vocabulary. ‘Skateboarding is now seen in such a positive light throughout the world,’ says Dallas. ‘We’re becoming more the norm rather than the exception and nuisance we’ve been seen to be in the past. Now as we grow in numbers, our albeit selfproclaimed places to play will grow, and with that grows the opportunity for employment within skateboarding, which is where we’re finally at.’ Dave says: ‘When I think of the health of the local scene, it’s not really about how many parks there are. It’s about how many people keep on skating and then take up jobs in the industry and start to do it themselves. ‘Skaters have worked themselves into positions at local companies and

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‘BEING ABLE TO BUILD A LIFE FROM SKATEBOARDING IS NOW POSSIBLE FOR SKATEBOARDERS IN SOUTH AFRICA’

we have a sense of ownership. Being able to build a life from skateboarding is now possible for skateboarders in South Africa. From being a sponsored skater, park builder, shop owner or skateboard recycler, there are a lot more opportunities, and based on that I’d say [the scene] has never been healthier.’

NURTURING SKATING One can’t help but wonder how South Africa’s skaters and competitions ‘compare’ to the rest of the world.

Wandile Msomi, who’s been skating for 18 years and owns his own skate shop and skateboard company, believes we’re right up there. ‘There is no comparing,’ he says. ‘We’re part of a world stop in competitive skateboarding. We have skateboarders making their presence felt in Los Angeles, the home of “sidewalk surfing”. Gavin Moses Adams and Dlamini Dlamini are California dreaming and Kanya Spani is skateboarding in Europe, and he’s now going to be a resident there.’

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SKATE PARKS | TRAVEL

SO WHAT IS THE STATE OF SKATE IN OUR COUNTRY?

pictures: dave de witt, rudi jeggle, tim moolman

‘SKATEBOARDING IS NO LONGER RESERVED FOR THE MHLUNGUS AT THE MALL’ The ‘world stop’ he’s referring to is the annual Kimberley Diamond Cup, the country’s biggest skateboarding competition. It’s kind of a big deal. Riaan van Biljon, president of the National Skateboarding Association (NSA) of South Africa, explains: ‘It’s an international event with people from around 41 countries coming to compete for a total purse of around R5-million, so it’s up there with the best (internationally).’ There are loads of other competitions which happen around the country, and the NSA has played a big part in formalising these. ‘One of the first objectives the NSA set out to do was to have one judging system for all events in the country, and to start a national ranking system and organise and run a national circuit,’ says Riaan. ‘One of the rules of the ranking system was that skateboarders had to travel to at least two events outside their province, and we’ve seen the community of skateboarders in the country grow tighter.’

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Over the last few years, skate parks have popped up all over the country, including some unlikely places, from the Valley of a 1 000 Hills to Soweto. Although it’s a semi-established sport in South Africa, it’s new enough for there to be no real historic ‘ownership’ of skateboarding. ‘Skateboarding is no longer reserved for the mhlungus at the mall,’ Dave says. ‘There are skate parks in townships and rural areas, DIY spots popping up in backyards, and there are skaters of every colour and creed out there doing their thing.’ Dallas agrees: ‘I think skateboarding is paving the way towards social inclusion beyond most traditional sports. It’s just such a fresh activity that our youth wish to co-create each day. I think having skate parks in every town, village and informal settlement could give hope and joy to so many youth who would otherwise not have a play place to call [home] and cocreate themselves.’

Skateboarding seems to be a in a good place in South Africa. There’s momentum, investment, job creation and lots and lots of skaters. But even if popularity takes a dip, what’s really important is what it means to the people who persevere with it. ‘When you start skating as a kid, it’s a way to burn off that excess energy and have fun while doing it,’ says Dave. ‘No one is going to make you run laps around the rugby field, do 50 push-ups and sit-ups and all manner of exercise just so that you can run around some more. You can just pick up your board and go skate, and at the end of the day, it is up to you what you can achieve. ‘It builds a “you never know until you try” attitude that with time can affect the way you look at everything else you do. It’s also the simplicity of it – it’s basically just a piece of plywood with some wheels and trucks, yet there are so many possibilities on and off the board.’ Things change. Cultures ebb in popularity, perhaps skateboarding more than any other. But at its core, skateboarding is and always will be about one person and the freedom of expression the skateboard gives them. There’s something beautiful and pure about that.

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BEHIND THE SCENES | BUILDING FESTIVALS

Ever wondered who builds those big, fancy stages, lighting rigs and art installations at your favourite music festival? Duncan Larkin figured it would be a good way to get free tickets. And he’s still building.

beers Blood, sweat and

t was shortly before dawn when I transformed into a fish. We had been working around the clock for days, and sleep was but a distant memory. My hands were covered in contact adhesive and paint as I glued pieces of foam décor together. I tried to figure out why everything around me was moving so slowly. The only logical conclusion was, of course, that I was underwater, and thus a fish. I couldn’t tell if it was my exhaustion muddling my senses or the fumes I’d been inhaling, but I wanted to sleep. Getting high on glue and sleep deprivation are just two of my vices, which may explain how I came into this strange line of work. Sitting in a corner of the stage we were decorating, the lighting gear,

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boxes of rigging equipment and piles of timber and fabric made it look less like a professional stage and more like a crafting workshop. We were transforming the stage – with all its lights, sound equipment and projection screens – into an underground diamond mine with polystyrene-foam stalactites and gigantic papier-mâché skulls. An enormous, leering mole with bloodshot eyes and a miner’s helmet stood prominently beside an old-fashioned mining cart. It all started as a way to get into parties and music festivals for free, but after a few years, it felt like something resembling a career. I’ve done a wide variety of work at music festivals in particular, from art installations to rigging

and décor, and I’ve been lucky enough to work for some amazingly talented artists all around the world. Often, my work will get me backstage passes and an insider’s perspective on some of the world’s most popular entertainers. Money can’t buy these experiences, but some of us are lucky enough to be paid to have them.

OFFICE HOURS? It’s not what you might call a regular job. The workload can often be overwhelming and there never seems to be enough time to finish it all. Like your sleep? This might not be the job for you. The work is always far from home, the hours are long, and the exhaustion and stress can be enough to make you

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MUSIC FESTIVALS | BEHIND THE SCENES

I ASSURE YOU, NOBODY PARTIES HARDER THAN THE PEOPLE WHO’VE SPENT WEEKS BUILDING THE EVENT FROM THE GROUND UP forget to which taxonomic group you belong. With an impending deadline that involves several thousand screaming fans streaming in to view your work, get crazy drunk and party like wild animals, there isn’t much time for anything that doesn’t move the project forward. It’s the people you meet that make all that blood, sweat and beer worthwhile. It’s a colourful and diverse mixture of people that comes to work on music festivals. An eclectic array of artists and craftsmen, blue-collar workers, technical professionals and dreadlocked, ‘ran away with the circus’ hippies, often spotted at the veggie side of the crew lunch buffet. Some of these people work at festivals because they’ve always dreamed of the glamour and excitement. For some it pays the bills. But for others, it’s their passport to international partying – getting paid to

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do what they love with a massive party at the end of the job and free backstage passes to see loads of great music. I assure you, nobody parties harder than the people who’ve spent weeks building the event from the ground up. The other night a few riggers and I sat in the box of a cherry-picker crane, 12 metres off the ground, drinking beer and trying to one-up each other’s stories from events around the world. ‘And then Paul Oakenfold is screaming at the production manager, “Whose bloody dog is that anyway?” and I’m hiding behind the curtain, giggling like a schoolgirl, with two bottles of vodka I stole from his room.’ True story, I think.

PRIDE AND POSSESSION There can be a strange separation between the crew and the attendees.

When you spend a week or two in a place, it starts to feel strangely familiar. At the end of the long work day, you might catch yourself referring to your tent a few hundred metres away as ‘home’. What was a vast empty field two weeks ago, with cows and sheep munching cheerfully on lush grass, evolves into a playground for an enormous, debauched mass of hungry, thirsty, alcoholic deviants, their hearts set on having all of the fun. The sprawling bar marquees being stocked up with mind-boggling amounts of liquor become your marker in the dark on your way to the catering tent at meal times, and the electronic music stage that popped up like a mushroom a week ago becomes a beacon, guiding you home to your own tent in the wee hours of those cold mornings. In a short space of time, it all becomes familiar,

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and you become possessive over it. And that lascivious mob of barbarians comes to resemble, well, a mob of barbarians. We had a nickname for them: ‘muggles’, from Harry Potter. They weren’t wizards like us. Just regular folk.

GETTING THE JOB DONE I’m just a worker bee in the greater hive of the event crew. There are

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more important people out there, in the production office, making the big decisions. I don’t envy them. ‘The headlining act’s flight is late!’ ‘It might rain on the weekend!’ ‘The truck delivering the sound equipment caught fire on the freeway!’ Being a worker bee allows me to focus my energy on a specific range of problem solving with décor. While the

concept artist furiously paces up and down the set with his phone glued to his ear, I can busy myself with getting the job properly. What seems impossible at the start of a project, when you look at the sketches and 3D modelling, slowly comes together over weeks of hard work and problem solving. I’ve learned the value of not worrying too much about tomorrow, and just accomplishing what you can today. Which is true until the last night of the build, when you start worrying about the next day a lot, and you use every single minute to get it all done perfectly in time. This might have something to do with why I had forgotten to which species I belonged. A fish? Or a dolphin, perchance. Sleep deprivation is a hell of a thing. Standing on the top rung of a ladder, I stapled the last stalactite to the ceiling. We were finished! The sun was slowly peeking its way over the trees in the distance, and the sky began to lighten. The harsh yellow of the floodlights we’d been working under slowly faded into the dawn’s pink warmth as we packed up our gear. We limped back to our camp like whipped dogs. We were broken, but happy. It had been a long few weeks of work, but when we looked back at our stage, our masterpiece, we felt a powerful sense of pride at how magical it looked in the morning light. As I collapsed in my tent without even removing my shoes, I could hear the people nearby waking up, shuffling around and brushing their teeth, getting ready for the opening day. I smiled to myself, feeling my body relax, and drifted off to sleep in seconds. And that morning, as the gates opened for the festival, I dreamed I was a fish.

pictures: istock, supplied

BEHIND THE SCENES | BUILDING FESTIVALS

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Rock

your wedding Planning a wedding can turn even mildmannered girls into raging Bridezillas. If you fear you might become one, use this handy guide to make the planning a breeze and focus on what really matters, writes Delia du Toit.

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WEDDING SEASON | SPECIAL FEATURE

ow stressful can it really be to organise a wedding, you ask? Well, even with the combined superpowers of Miss and Mr South Africa at the planning helm, it took an entire stress-fuelled year to get everything just right for their wedding in November last year. ‘Adriaan [Bergh, Mr SA 2011] and I set our date for exactly one year after our engagement,’ says Melinda Bam, Miss SA 2011. ‘There was more than enough time to plan, but when you start, you realise how much there really is to do. We were so busy, the year just flew past! It was exciting, but also stressful.’ They got married at Oakfield Farm in Muldersdrift, Jo’burg, and Melinda says at the end of the day, everything turned out perfect. ‘Even as a little girl, I had this dream of getting married in the woods, and there we were, saying “I do” in a poplar grove,’ she says. ‘We put in a lot of

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personal touches to keep things intimate and make it memorable, such as using significant numbers from our past as table numbers – like our first date, Adriaan’s rugby-jersey number. The guests loved it and we partied until the early hours.’ Kate Diaz, creative director and senior project manager at Wedding Concepts in Cape Town, says that’s the way to go. ‘What really sets each wedding apart from the next one are the details and personal touches – from personalised gift ideas to signature cocktails or a candy station for a midnight candy snack.’ Precious Tumisho Thamaga, CEO of Precious Celebrations wedding planners in Jo’burg, agrees. ‘Gone are the days of doing things traditionally. Now a wedding is about the two people getting married and everything should be a representation of that. Don’t conform to what others do.’ But enough talking. You’ve got a lot to do, so let’s get started:

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SPECIAL FEATURE | WEDDING SEASON

‘MOST POPULAR VENUES GET BOOKED UP WELL IN ADVANCE, SO BOOK EARLY’

STEP 1: PAINT BY NUMBERS First off, decide who you want to invite, says Melinda. ‘We had 160 guests, but with the number of people we know, that was actually an intimate wedding. We didn’t want to spend the night having frivolous conversation, so we decided to invite only our nearest and dearest.’ Kate says this is good advice. ‘Don’t invite people just because you think you have to,’ she says. ‘The simple truth of wedding budgeting is that each additional guest means an increase in cost. You should never create a wedding for others at the expense of your personal desires and responsibilities.’ When you know how many guests you want to invite, you can set up a budget accordingly. Then start planning immediately, says Kate. ‘Plan well in advance and make swift decisions. By going back and forth, you’ll waste time and may lose out on suppliers or venues that get booked up.’

STEP 2: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION Now it’s time to start looking for a venue. ‘Most popular venues get booked up well in advance, so book early,’ warns Precious.

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‘It’s important that you choose a venue that will accommodate all your guests and complement your vision, so you don’t spend money trying to change it.’ When you find something you’re taken with, don’t forget to make sure that it works on a practical level, too. Is there enough parking? Do they have a backup plan for bad weather? Is the dance floor big enough? Do guests need to leave before a certain time? If your budget allows, Kate says it’s a good idea to have a marquee tent, which can be customised to your needs and decorated in any style. These days, you even get sleek ‘glass marquees’ that offer unobscured views to the outside or illuminate the surroundings from within at night.

STEP 3: BELLS AND WHISKIES Food and drinks are possibly the most important aspects of your wedding. ‘South Africans, especially, love good food,’ says Melinda. ‘It makes your wedding festive and the guests sociable. We made sure we had more than enough food – we even brought out trays of snacks at 2am!’ Precious says you have a few choices here. If you’re having a more formal or

intimate wedding, a sit-down plated menu is best. A buffet menu works for a larger group or a more informal wedding. Most venues have on-site catering. If not, they can usually recommend good service providers. Either way, request a tasting to make sure the menu is diverse enough for all tastes, that you like the food yourself and that it will suit the time of year. Kate says you should also consider serving welcome drinks as guests arrive, and other favours that will keep them comfortable during the ceremony, such as parasols for hot weather. ‘Just make sure guests are well hydrated, fed and entertained, and they’ll have a great time,’ she adds.

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WEDDING SEASON | SPECIAL FEATURE

STEP 4: SETTING THE MOOD This is where your budget will dictate the outcome. Don’t splurge on a 16-piece orchestra and a carpet of roses if you only have enough for a few bouquets and a cousin who can press ‘play’ on the boom box. Rather find a pretty venue and keep things simple, then decorate as much as you can afford without going over the top. ‘One thing I hate at weddings is when there are gorgeous flower arrangements, but you can’t see the people sitting across from you because there’s a huge vase in the way,’ says Melinda. ‘We strung fairy lights, moss and flowers from the roof to avoid this. It looked beautifully whimsical and became a talking point.’ You should take time to consider your music for the night as well, says Precious. ‘Music is an important element and creates the mood for your wedding. If your budget allows, hire a band to entertain your guests while you’re taking photos and then have a DJ after your guests have eaten and are ready to party.’ You should ask to hear the band play beforehand or for the DJ to send you a rough playlist so you can be sure your crowd will like the style.

STEP 5: ME, ME, ME Now that the guests are taken care of, it’s time to focus on yourself. Here’s what else you’ll need: • A photographer whose work you adore. Browse their portfolio to make

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sure you like their style, and give strict instructions of your own – who and what you’d liked photographed and when. • A bridal gown and groom’s suit. Buy or hire, depending on your budget, but be sure to pick something that suits your personal style so you won’t feel uncomfortable. Do this a few months ahead of time so you can have it tailored if needed. • Make-up and hair (and nails and a wax and a facial and teeth whitening and spray tan and … you get the idea) for the bride. Book an extra hairstyling session beforehand to make sure you

like the look. The groom should at least remember to wash his hair and brush his teeth on the day. • Bridesmaids and groomsmen. Traditionally, the bride and groom pay for these outfits too, but if you allow them to wear something they like, most people are willing to buy it themselves. Remember to subtly hint when, where and how you would like your bachelorette or bachelor party to play out. • Book someone who can officiate the wedding and knows how to handle all the boring legal bits – or take care of these at a magistrates’ court.

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SPECIAL FEATURE | WEDDING SEASON

TENT GIVEAWAY See page 15 for details

ON THE DAY ‘Relax!’ says Melinda. ‘Something will inevitably go wrong, but no one will know if your wedding doesn’t look exactly like your Pinterest board. Just enjoy yourself and savour every moment. Adriaan and I made sure to take time out every now and then to stand quietly in a corner, catch up and people watch. Sometimes the bride and groom are so busy socialising that they hardly talk to each other on their big day, and we didn’t want that.’ Remember to eat, adds Kate, and to enjoy yourself too! It’s all about you, after all.

EXTRA CREDIT: STICKING TO A BUDGET Kate says, more often than not, couples are surprised by how much a wedding actually costs. Melinda agrees: ‘It’s important to manage your expectations. Rather than budgeting a small amount and then being shocked and worried,

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budget for the worst-case scenario and hopefully you won’t need it.’ Remember, no matter how important this day is, it’s not worth starting your life together in debt. These tips will help you stick to your budget: • Call in a pro. Though wedding planners add their own fee, they can often negotiate discounts with suppliers and stockists. • Schedule your wedding during the off-peak season. This can save up to 20% on supplier fees and venue hire. • Go for all-in-one packages. A venue that includes cutlery, crockery and even decorations will save you a lot of effort and costs. Similarly, holding your ceremony and reception in one spot will cut travel time for vendors that you pay by the hour. • Select local, seasonable flowers. Imported flowers often carry a hefty price tag. • Manage your guest list. It’ll be tricky, but be stingy with your invites and only

invite people who are truly important to you and your partner. • Don’t open the bar too soon. Offer wines and local beers during predrinks and dinner, and open the full bar a little later. This will save you a lot of money and prevent drunken predinner guests! • Do the footwork. It’s more effort, but getting quotes from multiple vendors will let you choose the most budget-friendly option. Also, choose what’s most important to you, whether music, décor or food, and prioritise your budget accordingly.

CONTACTS Precious Celebrations 011 463 6611, preciouscelebrations.co.za Wedding Concepts 021 426 5783, weddingconcepts.co.za.

pictures: CTB images, jean-pierre uys (supplied by wedding concepts), tyme photography (supplied by wedding concepts), zarazoo photography (supplied by wedding concepts)

‘SOMETIMES THE BRIDE AND GROOM ARE SO BUSY SOCIALISING THAT THEY HARDLY TALK TO EACH OTHER’

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DRIVE | ACTION

X(6) marks the spot If the BMW X5 is just too mainstream and you want something a bit more rockstar, then the X6 should be your one-stop solution.

text: david taylor; pictures: supplied

ot only does it look a lot more imposing than the standard X5, but the BMW X6 also offers a sportier drive. It makes an interesting case for itself and attacking a winding road in something as bulky as this just feels natural. It also has this magical ability to make cars in front of you get out of your way. Perhaps this is the combination of a huge grille and bold, bright daytime-running lights. You have a choice of engines, ranging from sensible diesels to fire-breathing petrol-turbocharged V8s. There’s even an M performance version, which

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has enough grunt to give sports cars nightmares. What you really want is the M50d – a happy balance between economy and performance. It has not one, not two, but three turbos powering a 3.0-litre diesel engine. When it’s in full attack mode, the X6 can hit 100kph in around five seconds, while returning reasonable economic figures. It really is the happy balance. See, while the BMW X5 can do all of the above, it does so with a sense of maturity and sensibility. The X6 is the rockstar of the family and it doesn’t care. Despite it having an immature nature, it

comes with a whole host of technologies that bring it in line with the 21st century. This car can be fitted with radarguided cruise control, the engine can be powered down to better benefit your pocket and it can even parallel park itself. And to make life even sweeter, the X6 comes with all-wheel drive and hill-descent control, if you really want to go off-roading. While the polarising looks may not appeal to everyone, the BMW X6 does a damn fine job of bringing out your inner rockstar. Who wants to be sensible for the rest of their lives, anyway?

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ACTION | DRIVE

BMW 2 SERIES ACTIVE TOURER

With its clever rear suicide doors and turbo-charged engine, the Meriva ticks the boxes for cool, practicality and performance with ease. But, despite its cleverness and fun-to-drive nature, the Meriva hasn’t sold as well as it should have. From R261 500.

All the right moves

MERCEDES-BENZ B-CLASS

OPEL MERIVA

ii BMW is the new kid on the block when it comes to this segment and the brand is keen to steal sales from Merc’s B-Class. It’s the brand’s first front-wheel-drive product and comes with a range of engines. My pick is the 218i, which has a 1.5-litre turbo engine from a MINI. It also offers loads of space and it’s surprisingly comfortable to drive. From R378 000.

Like BMW’s 2 Series Active Tourer, the Merc B-Class offers premium features and comfort for a premium price. It has loads of space, but the ride is surprisingly sporty. If fast and practical is your requirement, then pick the B250 for maximum results. From R389 736.

Whether you’re transporting a rock band or just doing the school run, these super-practical vehicles tick all the boxes.

FORD TOURNEO CONNECT

Ford has gatecrashed the MPV party with its Tourneo Connect. People may be shocked to hear it has a 1.0-litre engine, but I can assure you there’s no shortage of power and it can move, while boasting moderate fuel consumption. It uses sliding doors and also has ample space in the cabin. R269 900.

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text: david taylor; pictures: supplied

VOLKSWAGEN T5 KOMBI

The Kombi is the big daddy of them all. This latest version can seat eight, offers a strong diesel engine and has the sporty DSG automatic transmission. It can be customised to suit your needs and comes with an array of features. If moving people and things around in comfort and style is your thing, then this is your vehicle. R474 300.

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PROPERTY | STUFF

Stone is where the

heart is

NATURE’S RUGGED GIFT

Easy to find and easy to work with, rocks have been used in building and décor for centuries. They’re also very versatile and can give your home either a more rustic or more refined look. In recent years, as we’ve reached deeper into nature for inspiration for our homes, real and simulated rocks are taking a leading role in architecture, décor and design.

FROM EARTH TO TABLE, WALL OR FLOOR Local companies like Afrigran and Womag dig deep into the earth to find the finest, most striking stone blocks – from marble and granite to travertine – which are cut into slabs, polished and then used to make beautiful table tops, kitchen or bathroom counter tops, flooring, staircases and fireplaces. And then you get the ‘clever stuff’ – a blend of materials that simulate natural stone, which can bring down the cost

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Kerry Hayes of SA Home Owner reckons the best way to make your home rock is to use … rocks.

while still giving you the wonderful feeling of natural stone. Colonial Stone and Neolith, for example, create stone products from Caesarstone and quartz blends that are so versatile they can be backlit to create a bar in your home second to none. I visited KZN a few months ago and discovered the most incredible onyxand-stone slab with a large quartz content at Afrigran, which glowed green and gold when backlit. Imagine that in your open-plan kitchen – people would be so entranced they’d forget to eat! And of course, these simulated stones can be in the form of flagstones, cobbles and cladding, and placed anywhere from your driveway to your pool and entertainment area.

Staircases look gorgeous when made from stone, with a glass-panelled balustrade creating a seamless up flow. And stone columns add a stateliness to your home that no other material can offer. A fireplace is a wonderful area to apply some cladding if you’re looking for a feature wall, with the added benefit of holding onto more heat to keep your room warmer for longer.

THE INSIDE STORY There are so many applications for stone and rock indoors, from large cladded feature walls to small décor touches.

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room or entrance hall is by using them to ensconce pillar candles in a big glass vase.

UP THE GARDEN PATH Step outdoors, and stone and rock take on a whole new personality. From water features to rock pools, firepits to pebbled paths, stone Zen bridges to rock gardens – there are endless applications for this rugged gift from nature. Flank your garden path with pebbles and tiny flowers, and you’ll have a magical fairy path that will thrill your kids. Or create a ‘living wall’ using tiered two-toned rocks that have mixed-and-matched sizes, and a colourful collection of summer flowers or herbs for an eye-catching space.

THINGS TO MAKE YOU ROCK EVEN MORE

• Try to see and hand select your slabs before you commission any work done, as natural stone varies dramatically from one piece to another. • Marble is porous and should be cared for very carefully as it can stain, however, it does wear well. • Engineered quartz surfaces often have colour pigments that don't handle long-term exposure to UV light very well, so use these indoors. • If you like the wildness of granite, explore different finishes as the standard high-gloss polish currently looks quite dated. • Try looking at antiqued, leathered and honed finishes as interesting, alternative textures.

ROCK ON

I asked some rocking companies why they rock… Afrigran rocks because they ‘have invested in superior technology and have refined their fabrication process'. Colonial Stone rocks because they ‘are passionate about design'. Neolith rocks because ‘it's the most innovative, new expression of a composite stone surface’. Womag rocks because they ‘leave no stone unturned when it comes to quality'.

If neither of these ideas float your goat, why not create a beautiful rock garden among your trees. It is easy to manage, and grants you a space where you can instantly zone out and feel like you’ve travelled to the woodlands for an urban escape. With thanks to Afrigran, Colonial Stone, International Slab Sales (Neolith), Laurie Owen Interiors and Womag. For more home and décor inspiration, visit sahomeowner.co.za.

pictures: supplied

Cladding can also be used for your kitchen island or bar, giving the room either a classic or modern-rustic feel. And all the better if that bar is below ground in your wine cellar. Add stone throughout the cellar, and sit back and enjoy the wonderful earthy aroma of the stones blending with the ageing bottles of wine. The bathroom is another space that really resonates when stone is brought into it. Stone baths and basins are all the rage, not just because they look beautiful, but because they look like they were pulled straight out of nature and installed into your home, which instantly brings relaxation to the soul. Don’t ask me why; it just does. Add a bath mat with pebbles woven into it, and you’re one step closer to showering the way they do in the Jungle Book. If you’ve gone open plan, with your bathroom leading into your bedroom, and want that consistent stone flow throughout this space without the coldness that can come from a stone floor or wall, there are material options that mimic stone. Felted wool ‘stones’ can be used as scatters on your bed or recliner, or even as ottomans. And a beautiful, easy way to bring stones or rocks into your bedroom and other spaces, such as the living

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STUFF | MONEY MATTERS

I wanna be a billionaire… Making a living as a musician can be tough, especially when you're countering the perception that downloaded tunes should be free. Today, musicians have to work flippin' hard to convert ‘likes’ into sales, including crowdfunding and finding alternative revenue streams.

MONETISING YOUR POPULARITY 'The rise of iTunes and the commoditisation of songs has changed the landscape in ways that many believe are negative,' says Sean Young,

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band manager of McCree. 'At the same time, there are many benefits bands can leverage in their favour, provided they understand and accept the “new rules”.’ The rise of many successful indie musicians and labels bears testimony to this. ‘Every marketing person knows that to break in, you must hustle, hustle and then hustle some more,’ says manager Sheree O’Brien.

Key to marketing yourself is taking advantage of social-media platforms and engaging with your fans. Prime local examples include Jeremy Loops, Mi Casa and Black Coffee, who are ‘the bastion when it comes to best practices', says Tecla Ciofli, SA marketing manager of streaming service Deezer.

LIVE AND KICKING And don't forget the basics – like live performances. ‘People will pay for experiences,’ says Sean. ‘It’s the “real” part that’s left over from what has otherwise become a mere commodity.’ Lana agrees. ‘The personal interaction with an audience at a gig is important, as it adds value to fans, and that could be the difference between someone buying your album and someone pirating your music.’ With PricewaterhouseCoopers predicting that 72% of South Africa’s cellphone users will be mobile internet users by 2018, it’s becoming imperative for musicians find new revenue streams to remain viable. 'I think it’s smart for artists to have their fingers in every pie possible,’ says Tecla. ‘Have your music available to stream and download, and have your CDs and vinyls available in stores. The more platforms your music is available on, the better it’ll eventually be for your reach and your back pocket.’

picture: istock

hen Durban-based guitar virtuoso Guy Buttery wanted to record his first solo studio album in six years, he went with cap in hand to his fans. Through the crowdfunding website IndieGoGo, he set out to raise $8 000, promising rewards, ranging from copies of the CD to live performances in the comfort of fans' lounges. He even offered two of his old 'friends' (guitars) for $650 a pop. Guy is one of a growing group of local musicians who are taking their fate in their own hands. 'Signing with a major record label is every musician's dream, as it makes the whole process of producing and marketing your album a lot easier,' says Cape Town-based singer-songwriter Lana Crowster. But the reality is that record labels are not queuing up to sign up bands because the industry is no longer that lucrative. Music industry revenue in the US has more than halved, from $14.6-billion in 1999 to $6.97-billion last year. For the first time in history, revenue from streaming services such as Spotify now surpasses CD sales.

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BUSINESS | STUFF

Unleash the rock star within Is delivering a big presentation really that different from being a stage performer? Richard Mulholland of Missing Link isn’t convinced that it is.

picture: istock

o I’m writing this in an airport lounge, on the way home from one of the most epic punk-rock shows I’ve ever seen. This week I was on a speaking tour around the US, and was lucky enough to head to Toronto to watch my favourite band Rise Against deliver what must have been the best show of their lives. In truth, though, I’m probably wrong. My guess is that they know they delivered a great show, but they probably did the same two days before in Chicago, and again the following night in Ottawa. That’s just what they do: they bring it all, holding nothing back, night after night. Sadly, that’s what we’re afraid to do the majority of the time when we stand in front of a crowd. We get up there, we open our mouths … and then we hold back. ‘What if my humour doesn’t land? What if I offend someone? What if I don’t sound smart enough?’ Holy cow. If Tim McIlrath and

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co thought like that, we’d have had a lacklustre concert and I’d be writing about the correct use of bullet points (fun, right?). There’s good news, though. It turns out that for the 20 minutes we’re up there, it’s our stage. We set the pace and we decide where to take our listeners. Basically, we have all the power – generally, we’re just afraid to take it. We’re so busy trying to enter the audience’s world that we don’t think to bring them into our own. That’s what Rise Against managed to do the other night: they confidently brought me into their world, and that’s what I stop

to consider every single time I step onto a stage. For that short moment in time, I’m in charge, the audience is locked in, and all I have to do is deliver the content that I’ve prepared in my own unique way (which turns out, really isn’t that hard at all, because, you know, it’s just me being me). You think you need to dial it down, but you really don’t. You need to reel them in. Don’t hold back. Sure, you may just be delivering your latest financials or a marketing plan, but if you can muster the courage to really put yourself out there and deliver with confidence, your audience will respond in kind. So next time you hit that big stage (or stuffy boardroom, as the case may be), bring it like your favourite band: leave nothing behind and have fun. Rock up and rock out.

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17382

Spring Allergies Spring is in the air, and so are billions of tiny pollens that could trigger allergy symptoms in many people. This condition is called seasonal allergic rhinitis, commonly referred to as hay fever. Allergic rhinitis is an extremely common illness that is often mistaken for an ordinary cold. However, rhinitis may develop into more severe problems, such as asthma. Hay fever can affect your quality of life. It can lead to sinus infections, disrupt your sleep, and affect your ability to learn at school or be productive at work. SYMPTOMS Allergy symptoms occur when your immune system overreacts to an allergen – something that is usually harmless, such as plant pollen, dust mites or mould. If you have an allergy, your immune system behaves as if the allergens are dangerous, releasing a chemical called histamine, which then causes the allergy symptoms. If the allergen is something you breathe in from the air, your reaction will most likely affect your eyes, nose and lungs. HOW DOES THE TEST WORK? Together with your doctor, you can discuss which allergens to test for. Your doctor will take a small blood sample and send it to a laboratory for analysis. The test is quantitative and measures the amount of allergy antibodies in the blood (IgE), which is an indicator of allergic sensitisation. Based on a physical examination, your case history and the results, your doctor will be able to make a proper diagnosis. THE RESULTS CAN HELP OPTIMISE TREATMENT The test results can help identify your unique allergy profile. With this information, you and your doctor would be able to tailor an individual action plan to reduce exposure to those triggers, which will: • decrease the symptoms; • decrease the risk of a severe allergic reaction; and • decrease the need for medication. A negative test result can help your doctor rule out specific allergies as a trigger of the symptoms, and the search for the true cause can continue. This means you or your child can avoid taking unnecessary measures to reduce exposure. It also means you can avoid taking allergy medications (such as antihistamines) when they aren’t truly needed. You are not exposed to any allergens during the testing procedure, so there is no risk of allergic reactions. ASK YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT A BLOOD TEST FOR ALLERGY A blood test can test for hundreds of allergens, such as weeds, trees, pollen, mould, food, and animal dander. Adults and children of any age can take a blood test, and it can be performed irrespective of skin condition, medication, symptom, disease activity and pregnancy. Any doctor can take the blood sample and request the test, and the tests are covered by medical aid. Allergies are very common and we often treat the symptoms, without finding the cause! Visit info.thermoscientific.com/AllergyGuide_SouthAfrica to download your free Allergy e-book

Are the symptoms really signs of allergy? Nasal congestion/sneezing, itchy/watery eyes and nose:

65%

• of patients diagnosed as having allergic rhinitis and prescribed antihistamine may not be allergic. 1, 2 Wheezing, coughing, breathing problems:

•

60%

Dry skin, pruritus, scratching:

30%-70%

• of infants and young children with eczema have underlying allergy. 3, 6

Rule in or rule out allergy early – ask your doctor for a specific IgE blood test to increase certainty Visit www.isitallergy.co.za to complete your Allergy Profile

Reveal the secrets behind

the allergy-like symptoms A single blood test that helps you to rule in or rule out allergy References: 1. Szeinbach SL, et al. J Manag Care Pharm. 2004 May–Jun;10(3): 234–8. 2. Welsh NR, et al. J Am Pharm Assoc 2006; 46(5): 627. 3. Host A, et al. Allergy. 2003 Jul; 58(7): 559–69.4. Milgrom H. AAAAI news release. Milwaukee, WI: American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology; June 17, 2003. 5. Allen-Ramey F. J Am Board Fam Pract. 2005; 18(5):434–9. 6. Spergel JM. Am J Clin Dermatol. 2008; 9(4): 233–44. ThermoFisher Scientific 197 Fabriek Street Strijdom Park Randburg 2125. Tel 011 792 6790 Fax 011 793 1064 www.isitallergy.co.za www.thermoscientific.com/phadia/en-za

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of children and of adults with asthma have allergy. 3-5

2015/02/09 4:22 PM

2015/08/18 10:59 AM

HEALTH | STUFF

Think pink Despite numerous campaigns on breast-cancer awareness, it’s shocking to learn that there are still so many of us who don’t know the basic facts on early detection. Here’s a crash course in that all-important home breast exam. STEP 1

STEP 4:

The mirror test: Look at your breasts in the mirror in a well-lit area. Keep your shoulders straight and arms on your hips. Look for: breasts that are their usual size, shape and colour. Changes to worry you: ❤ Dimpling, puckering or bulging of the skin. ❤ Redness, swelling and soreness. ❤ Recently inverted nipples or nipples that have changed position.

❤ Now lie down and use your hand to examine your breast. ❤ Use your right hand to feel your left breast and then your left hand to feel your right breast. ❤ Use the first few finger pads on your hand, keeping your fingers flat, firm and together.

text: raina julies; pictures: freepik.com

STEP 2: Stay in front of the mirror and raise your arms above your head to look out for the same changes.

STEP 3:

STEP 5:

Now look out for any signs of fluid (either watery, milky, yellowish or bloody) coming out from one or both of your nipples.

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❤ With a circular motion, cover the entire breast from top to bottom and side to side. ❤ Check from your collarbone to the top of your abdomen, and from your armpit to your cleavage area. TIP: Use a pattern to ensure you cover the entire breast area. Pretend you’re vacuuming a carpet and move your fingers vertically from the top to the bottom and in rows. Important to note: ❤ Make sure you feel all the tissue from the front to the back of your breast. ❤ Use light pressure to feel the tissue just beneath the skin, medium pressure for the middle tissue in your breast and firm pressure to reach the deep tissue.

Now stand up and repeat the hand examination. TIP: It’s sometimes easier to feel the tissue when the skin is wet and slippery, so try doing the exam in the shower or bath.

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COLUMN | STUFF

Slaves to the rhythm

Ben Trovato reflects on his days dogging the stage and dodging beer bottles.

illustration: pete woodbridge

part from someone born with no arms, I was quite possibly the world’s worst drummer. But even so, I was in a Durban band called the Slaves of Janet. I don’t know why they hired me. My first band had let me go, so perhaps it was out of pity. Lead vocalist Phil Janet was a nude model for art students. He was from London, had green hair and a beautiful face. Bass player Simon and I were his slaves. The gigs were out of control. One night we played at a real dive called El Castilian at the top end of West Street. By the fifth minute of a 20-minute version of ‘Louie Louie’, Phil was stripped to his skin-tight, leopard-print leggings. By the ninth minute, he was mock fellating the microphone. ‘Louie Louie, oh no, me gotta go, aye-yi-yi-yi,’ Phil warbled, gyrating obscenely against the mic stand. The 12th minute saw him pick up an empty beer bottle, smash it against the amplifier and rake the jagged shards across his naked torso. Red lines crisscrossed his hairless British chest and blood dripped onto his Doc Marten boots. The audience went wild. Not applauding wild, but throwing bottles wild. I kept drumming. Simon, young and bisexual, turned his back and carried on playing. Phil laughed crazily and did another verse

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of ‘Louie Louie’. Someone pulled the plug and the owner of the place said we should leave quickly. He seemed perplexed that we still wanted to get paid. A couple of hours earlier, before the gig, I was sitting on the pavement outside the club because the bouncer wouldn’t let me in. He didn’t believe I was with the band simply because my leg was in plaster and I was on crutches.

‘You’re the drummer? Yeah, right. Sure you are.’ Phil eventually came to look for me. I hobbled past the bouncer. ‘I didn’t say I was a good drummer.’ After fleeing the club, we went up to the beachfront and headed for another hotel in the hope of playing there. The manager said we could do a few numbers, but while we were setting up, he got a call from El Castilian advising him not to let us play. Apparently we were nothing but trouble. Again, we were hustled out of the door. This happened more than once. Phil liked to think of Slaves of Janet as a mystery band. It was a mystery how we got any gigs. It was a mystery how we ever got it together to rehearse. Phil insisted on never advertising our gigs. He preferred to slip onto the bill unnoticed and take the stage before the next band came on, hijacking the instruments and wreaking mayhem. Towards the end, he wanted to fake his own death on stage. ‘Nobody will ever be able to see us play again,’ he said. ‘How cool would that be?’ Not so cool if you actually wanted to be in a band. But he never got it together and the band broke up without any of us really noticing. Simon went on to kill himself.

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khlassifieds Like stuff? Like buying stuff? Wanna know what stuff to buy? Then look no further than our new ads directory.

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