a messily creative city guide to
MINNEAPOLIS/SAINT PAUL
HELLO! WELCOME TO THIS CITY GUIDE MEETS SCAVENGER HUNT MEETS SKETCH BOOK! CONTAINED WITHIN, YOU’LL FIND SOME ACTIVITIES THAT TAKE YOU OFF THE BEATEN PATH AND SOME THAT HELP YOU SEE THE REGULARLY BEATEN PATH IN A NEW LIGHT. THERE ARE NO RULES TO THIS BOOK. DO WHAT YOU WANT IN ANY ORDER THAT YOU WANT. WE THINK USING YOUR PHONE TO ASSIST IN ANY OF THE TASKS IS KIND OF LAME, BUT YOU DO YOU. YOU ARE GOING TO NEED A PEN. MAYBE SOME COLORED PENCILS IF YOU’RE FANCY.
NOW GO FORTH AND MAKE A MESS OF THIS BOOK!
THE ONLY GUIDANCE YOU’RE GOING TO GET IS THIS HANDY-DANDY KEY OF ACTIVITY CATEGORIES: FOOD & DRINK ARTS & CULTURE
THE GREAT OUTDOORS
SPORTS & RECREATION ODDITIES & CURIOSITIES
ACTIVITY #1
LAND O’ LAKES GO TO SOME LAKES. THERE ARE MORE THAN 10,000, BUT “LAND OF 11,842 LAKES” IS A BIT CLUMSY. WALK AROUND THEM. GO IN THEM IF A LITTLE LAKE SWIMMING DOESN’T GROSS YOU OUT. DRAW YOUR BEST APPROXIMATION OF THE OUTLINE OF EACH LAKE YOU VISIT HERE.
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ACTIVITY #2
FROGTOWN CURLING CLUB YOU KNOW WHAT AMERICA WOULDN’T HAVE WITHOUT MINNESOTA? AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL IN CURLING! 7 OF THE 10 NATIONAL TEAM MEMBERS FROM 2018 ARE FROM MINNESOTA (AND THE OTHER 3 ARE FROM WISCONSIN, BASICALLY LESSER MINNESOTA). TAKE A CLINIC AT THE FROGTOWN CURLING CLUB TO GET UP TO SPEED ON ONE OF WINTER’S QUIRKIER SPORTS.
DOCUMENT YOUR BEST ENDS ON THESE DIAGRAMS.
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ACTIVITY #3
FIND YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ART AT Mia (OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE MINNEAPOLIS INSTITUTE OF ART, BUT REBRANDING, Y’KNOW?)
F O R I A L F E H T L L A T TH C I A R W T S , B E R A E H R E H T I T O E T E A M E O E R S C W R REO ( T R : O E S L S A A C R I E P L I O O L P S B A P E D). S E U K C A C U E S B E H R E PAINT TLY FOUND OUT RECEN
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ACTIVITY #4
THE GREAT MINNESOTA GET-TOGETHER
THE MINNESOTA STATE FAIR CONSISTS OF WALKING, EATING, WALKING, EATING, LOOKING AT SOME COWS, AND EATING. FIND THE PERSON WHO DID NOT PLAN ACCORDINGLY AND LOOKS LIKE THEY REGRET THEIR FOOTWEAR CHOICE THE MOST.
DRAW A PICTURE OF THAT FOOTWEAR.
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ACTIVITY #5
BEER!
LAND OF 10,000 LAKES AND AT LEAST AS MANY CRAFT BREWERIES. USE THIS PAGE AS YOUR COASTER AT EACH ONE YOU VISIT. BE AS SLOPPY AS POSSIBLE FOR FULL EFFECT.
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ACTIVITY #6
BIKE THE TRAILS THE TWIN CITIES IS CONSISTENTLY RANKED AS ONE OF THE BIKE FRIENDLIEST PLACES IN THE COUNTRY. HOP ON A NICE RIDE BICYCLE FROM ONE OF THE PIONEERS OF THE MODERN BIKE-SHARING SYSTEM, AND CRUISE ONE OF THE MANY BIKE PATHS THE CITIES HAVE TO OFFER. WE RECOMMEND THE MIDTOWN GREENWAY THAT WILL TAKE YOU 6 MILES THROUGH THE HEART OF MINNEAPOLIS OR WEST AND EAST RIVER PARKWAY, WHICH RUN ALONG THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER THROUGH BOTH THE TWIN CITIES.
E G A P S NCE I H T R E BIKE O V O N RU YOUR E THAT WITH EVERY MIL OUR OWN FOR IDE FOR Y ETER. YOU RDIY TRIPOM
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DRAW YOUR FAVORITE PLANTS THAT YOU SPOT IN THE CONSERVATORY.
ACTIVITY #7
MARJORIE MCNEELY * CONSERVATORY *TECHNICALLY NOT OUTDOORS, SO SUE US.
THE CONSERVATORY HOUSES PLANTS FROM 6 DIFFERENT CONTINENTS. ITS FERN ROOM IS A COOL RESPITE IN THE HEAT OF A MINNESOTA SUMMER AND THE SUNKEN GARDENS OFFER A WELCOME TROPICAL RELIEF IN THE DEAD OF WINTER. IT SHARES THE GROUNDS OF COMO ZOO, WHICH IS FREE IF YOU WANT 17 TO ADD SOME FAUNA TO YOUR FLORA.
ACTIVITY #8
ORFIELD LABS ANECHOIC CHAMBER GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS HAS TWICE NAMED THIS ROOM THE QUIETEST PLACE ON EARTH. THE VOLUME IN THE CHAMBER MEASURES AT -9 DECIBELS (A QUIET BEDROOM IS ABOUT 30). THAT KIND OF SILENCE LEAVES YOU ONLY WITH THE SOUND OF YOUR OWN BODY TO LISTEN TO, WHICH IS ENOUGH TO DRIVE A PERSON MAD. COMPLETELY UNHELPFUL, BUT YOU’LL SOON SEE 100% ACCURATE RENDERING OF AN ANECHOIC CHAMBER.
DOCUMENT YOUR DESCENT INTO MADNESS (BUT MAYBE AFTER YOU LEAVE BECAUSE THE SOUND OF YOUR PEN SCRATCHING AGAINST THIS PAPER MIGHT MAKE YOU SNAP SNAP)
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YOU MAY WANT TO VOMIT ON THIS PAGE AFTER EATING YOUR LUTEFISK DINNER, BUT THAT’S GOING TO BE A REAL MESS. SO WORD VOMIT YOUR FISHY FEELINGS INSTEAD!
ACTIVITY #9
LUTEFISK
A DELIGHTFUL LITTLE SCANDINAVIAN TREAT WITH SUBTLE NOTES OF GELATINOUS FISH GOO AND CHEMICALS! YOU’LL FIND VARIOUS LUTHERAN CHURCHES OFFERING THIS DISH OF DRIED COD SOAKED IN LYE OR YOU CAN CONQUER IT ON YOUR OWN BY BUYING IT UNCOOKED AT INGEBRETSEN’S SCANDINAVIAN GIFTS & FOODS. WE CAN’T LIE TO YOU; IT’S NOT GOING TO BE GOOD. BUT IT’S AN EXPERIENCE? JUST KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT AS YOU CHOKE IT DOWN. IS A
THIS IF YOU THINK ENTATION OF S E R P E R S U O R O HUM E IN FOR A ’R U O Y , K S I F E T U L G WHEN YOU RUDE AWAKENIN E YOU. BEFOR SEE THE BLOB
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ACTIVITY #10
FIRST AVENUE IF YOU’VE SEEN PURPLE RAIN, YOU SHOULD BE FAMILIAR WITH THIS PLACE. ONE OF THE PILLARS OF THE MINNEAPOLIS MUSIC SCENE, SEE A SHOW AT THE HOUSE THAT PRINCE BUILT AND CHECK OUT THE NAMES OF THE LEGENDS WHO HAVE PLAYED AT FIRST AVENUE PAINTED ON THE OUTSIDE WALLS. ALSO THEY SOMETIMES HOST WRESTLING MATCHES, WHICH IS A BIT WEIRD BUT PROBABLY WILDLY ENTERTAINING?
MACKLEMORE ONCE RAPPED ABOUT JUST WANTING HIS NAME IN A STAR. WE CAN’T CONDONE GRAFFITI, BUT ALL’S FAIR ON THIS PAGE. MAKE YOURSELF A STAR!
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BORROW SOME MUD AND DO A LITTLE MUD DOODLING OF SOMETHING INTERESTING AROUND THE BEACH.
ACTIVITY #11
HIDDEN BEACH THIS SECLUDED BEACH ON CEDAR LAKE WAS ONCE MINNESOTA’S ONLY NUDE BEACH (IT STOPPED BEING A NUDE BEACH, THE STATE DIDN’T ADD MORE NUDE BEACHES). THE CITY HAS TRIED TO CLEAN UP ITS ACT A BIT, BUT THE COLORFUL CAST OF CHARACTERS PERSISTS IN A MUCH MORE RELAXED ATMOSPHERE THAN SOME OF THE CITY’S OTHER BEACHES. THERE’S ALSO A MUD PIT TO PLAY IN BEFORE TAKING A DIP IN THE LAKE.
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ACTIVITY #12
JUCY LUCY MINNESOTA REALLY ONLY HAS ONE CULINARY CLAIM TO FAME. THE JUICY (OR JUCY, BECAUSE WHAT’S SPELLING?) LUCY. TWO RIVAL BARS CLAIM TO BE THE CREATOR OF THIS HAMBURGER STUFFED WITH MOLTEN CHEESE THAT CAN CAUSE A NASTY BURN IF YOU DON’T DIG IN DELICATELY. ONE OF THEM IS DECIDEDLY BETTER THAN THE OTHER, BUT WE’LL LET YOU DECIDE FOR YOURSELF.
VISIT MATT’S BAR AND THE 5-8 CLUB AND SEE WHAT ALL THE HYPE’S ABOUT. COMPARE AND CONTRAST BELOW. MATT’S BAR
5-8 CLUB
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PASTE YOUR SCORECARD ON THIS PAGE AND DOODLE YOUR FAVORITE OBSTACLE.
ACTIVITY #13
SKYLINE MINI GOLF THE WALKER ART CENTER OPENS UP THEIR ROOFTOP TERRACE EVERY SUMMER TO HOSE 10 ARTIST-DESIGNED MINIGOLF HOLES. WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, YOU CAN BE UNDERWHELMED BY THE FAMOUS SPOON & CHERRY NEXT DOOR AT THE SCULPTURE GARDENS. BECAUSE NOBODY WILL EVEN BELIEVE YOU WERE HERE IF YOU DON’T TAKE A PICTURE IN FRONT OF IT. 29
ACTIVITY #14
BELTRAMI PARK THIS MINNEAPOLIS PARK WAS ONCE THE MAPLE HILL CEMETERY, THE FINAL RESTING PLACE OF OVER 5000 PEOPLE FROM 1857-1890. THE CEMETERY WAS EVENTUALLY TAKEN OVER BY THE MINNEAPOLIS PARK BOARD. THEIR EARLY EFFORTS TO RECLAIM THE SPACE WERE DISRUPTED BY CASKETS SHIFTING OUT OF THE GROUND, BUT WE SWEAR IT’S TOTALLY FINE NOW! YOU CAN EVEN PLAY BOCCE BALL BECAUSE WHAT ACTIVITY GOES BETTER WITH DEATH?
IF YOU LOOK CAREFULLY, YOU CAN SEE TRACES OF THE PARK’S PAST, INCLUDING SOME PRETTY INTERESTING HEADSTONE PLAQUES. DRAW A FEW OF THE ONES YOU CAN FIND HERE.
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FIND A HANDS-ON ART ACTIVITY IN ONE OF THE SHANTIES, OF WHICH THERE WILL BE MANY TO PICK FROM, AND TRY TO DO IT ON THIS PAGE.
ACTIVITY #15
ART SHANTIES IF MINNESOTA IS KNOWN FOR ANYTHING BY OUTSIDERS, IT’S BEING COLD. AND THOSE PEOPLE AREN’T WRONG. BUT WE’RE A HARDY BUNCH AND HAVE LEARNED TO EMBRACE THE COLD. SOME EVEN DELIGHT IN SITTING IN TINY HOUSES ON FROZEN LAKES, STARING INTO A HOLE IN THE ICE FOR HOURS LOOKING FOR FISH. YOU’RE NOT HARDCORE ENOUGH FOR THAT YET, BUT IF YOU PUT ON A WARM JACKET, YOU CAN ENJOY THE ART SHANTIES. EVERY WINTER, ARTISTS TURN A GROUP OF ICE FISHING HOUSES INTO A SERIES OF ART INSTALLATIONS ON FROZEN LAKE HARRIET. 33
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ACTIVITY #17
MEAT RAFFLE
ONE OF THE STATE’S STRANGER TRADITIONS, THE MEAT RAFFLE COMBINES TWO THINGS THAT MINNESOTANS LOVE: MEAT, DRINKING, AND GAMBLING. VFWS, AMERICAN LEGIONS, AND DIVE BARS ACROSS THE STATE SELL $1 RAFFLE TICKETS, SPIN A WHEEL, AND GIVE AWAY RAW CUTS OF MEAT TO THE WINNING NUMBER. ALSO IT’S FOR CHARITY, SO YOU CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF LATER WHILE YOU’RE EATING YOUR HARD EARNED MEATS.
HOPEFULLY FORTUNE HAS FAVORED YOU AND YOUR NUMBER HAS BEEN CALLED. MARK YOUR WINNING CUTS HERE.
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Loin
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Spare Ri bs
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Shank
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Sirloin Tenderloin
Short loin
Top Sirloin
Bo tt om Sirloin
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DRAW ONE OF THE SNOW-BLANKETED SCENES YOU FIND ALONG THE TRAILS.
ACTIVITY #18
SNOW SHOEING IF YOU’RE NOT FROM A WINTRY CLIME, YOU MAY NOT REALIZE THAT SNOWSHOEING IS AN ACTUAL RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY THAT US NORTHERNERS PARTAKE IN. TWO OF THE BEST SPOTS ARE FORT SNELLING STATE PARK AND THEODORE WIRTH PARK. BOTH HAVE GEAR AVAILABLE FOR RENTAL, BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SNOWSHOES? 39
ACTIVITY #19
ACME COMEDY CLUB MONDAYS ARE FREE OPEN MIC NIGHTS AT ACME AND COMEDIANS OF VARIOUS EXPERIENCE LEVELS COME OUT TO ENTERTAIN THE CROWDS. YOU’LL BE ROLLING IN LAUGHTER AND CRINGING IN EMBARASSMENT. WE PROMISE IT’LL BE A REAL WILD RIDE. IF YOU CAN’T STOMACH WATCHING SOMEONE BOMB, BIG NAME COMICS COME THROUGH ON THE WEEKENDS, BUT WE PREFER THE HIDDEN GEMS.
THE BEST THING ABOUT THE AMATEURS IS THAT NOBODY KNOWS THEIR MATERIAL. WRITE DOWN SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE ONE-LINERS FOR YOUR NEXT DINNER PARTY.
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MODIFY THESE CAT FACES TO LOOK LIKE SOME OF YOUR NEW FURRY FRIENDS. REMEMBER TO NAME THEM!
ACTIVITY #20
CAFE MEOW CAT CAFES ARE REALLY AN ODDITY ANYMORE AND CERTAINLY AREN’T UNIQUE TO THE TWIN CITIES, BUT CAFE MEOW HAS PLENTY OF FINE FELINES TO ENJOY AN AFTERNOON WITH WHEN THE REST OF THE ACTIVITIES IN THIS BOOK HAVE WORN YOU DOWN. IF YOU THINK THIS YOU GO IN THE FOOD & DRINK CATEGORY, WE DON’T CARE. CATS ARE CLEARLY THE MAIN ATTRACTION HERE, NOT COFFEE.
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