Selected Poems and Limericks
• By Miriam (Merkie) Gould
Selected Poems and Limericks • By Miriam (Merkie) Gould
Drawings by Julie and Shelley Kasle
¢ CHEAPSKATE PRESS 254 Edgewood Avenue San Francisco California 94117
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for my family and friends to enjoy
Cover photo: the view from my back deck
CONTENTS Acknowledgments ..............................................4 Poems ...................................................................5 Loose Ends .................................................6 Whatever ....................................................7 here’s a Place for Us .................................8 Untitled .....................................................10 Obit............................................................11 Street Tree .................................................12 Venice ........................................................13 South of Market .......................................14 Demolition of an Old Building ..............16 Brief Requiem ..........................................17 1936 ...........................................................18 Cootie Girl ................................................19 Educated by TV .......................................20 Dear Ma ....................................................22 Public Health Notiication......................23 Long Season .............................................24 1934 ...........................................................26 Poem #3 ....................................................27 VJ Day August 15, 1945 ..........................28 he Tree ....................................................29 Interlude ...................................................30 he View From Up Here.........................31 Birthing .....................................................32 Limericks ...........................................................34
Acknowledgments: Jack Marshall, Ken Bullock, Frank Detriech., WH Auden, Irny Kasle, and all the kind friends and family who gave me such generous encouragement.
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Poems
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LOOSE ENDS Martin But what’s his last name I’m sure it begins with an A He was in that movie About the carvings of Presidents On the side of a mountain here were four presidents, I know But I can only think of three Washington, Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt Or were there only three?
hey were clambering over the carved faces Martin He was in a Woody Allen movie ater he got famous I wonder if he’s died MARTIN LANDAU!! Who was the fourth president? What was the name of the mountain? Or were there only three
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his, I think, is an epigram
WHATEVER
Whenever I talk I hedge my bet By prefacing with “like” or “you know”
Clouds are cotton candy Blown by silver sails Pretty as a picture.
First growth redwoods Cathedral Built by God
My old age A statue by Rodin But like you know, not really.
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THERE’S A PLACE FOR US
Not at the Birches Senior Estates In the lounge with walker at hand Waiting the irst call to lunch To a table for four Talking about pleasant memories Sharing the silence of our losses.
Not at home in the old house Where echoes of children and laughter hanksgiving and Christmas Saturate the walls Kept spotless by the caretaker Pleasant Hispanic woman Speaking broken English
Not on the cruise ship With accommodations for the elderly Ofering entertainment
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From the big band era Stopping in tourist focused towns Buying souvenirs
Not in the doctor’s waiting room Counting patients ahead of us Until it is our turn Talking about the weather Grateful for the impersonal time he hurried doctor inds to include us. here’s a place for us
Coming slow, ever closer More enveloping As we approach again Our relative omnipotence.
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UNTITLED
When old and feeble I migrated To a home securely gated And where I sit I see the sky With locks of birds as they ly by.
I wonder if up there they can see hat worn down relic that is me Whose freedom has been lost with time But still can dream of light sublime.
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OBIT
Do you recall the fair Lady Mimi? She did not learn to sew Lest she slip and stab her pinkie. She did not seek to know Lest she wound her heart similarly. She did not light a ire Lest she singe her long ine lashes And so she sighed And cried And eventually Of a small cold She Died.
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STREET TREE
A dog tightly leashed Held by an old woman Snifs closely, urinates, Moves on
Collared in concrete Crushed beer cans its footwear Feeble nod at nature’s bounty. Insuicient even for dreaming
When it is broken Its thin trunk headless City departments take note Another will take its place.
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VENICE
At lunch they talk about heir last trip to Venice. Too hot, too many tourists Much to pricey
For me it would be late spring he canals clear and sparkling Music coming from the windows he sky an azure blue.
Aromas of lowers and of cooking Gondolas propelled by young men Singing melodies To lovers touching
A perfect time A perfect place Made to order Inside my head
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SOUTH OF MARKET
here’s a smear on the wall Where it broke the dove’s light Predators in Cadillacs Glide in gold armor
Dark lows down stairways Pushing through sitters Rusting on stoops And wells up thick along the street.
Blackbirds gather At the liquor store While pale children Turn it into a song
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Walking down the hill to work hinking that Calvary is downhill Ater you’re forty he air is cool this morning
Mist touches my face Footfalls sounding slow cadence On the wet leaved pathway Silence pushing thick around
I won’t muse over the easy mud of old cofee grounds I have an appointment Waiting for me
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DEMOLITION OF AN OLD BUILDING
Longtime neighbors Leaning on canes Talk about how proudly it stood When they were young
Out of date in a growing district Detonation Implosion Falling into itself As dirty clouds rise
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BRIEF REQUIEM
Naked child Skinned alive Say ine
You’ll never cover your losses And neither can I Say thank you
And to achieve a state of grace Know what you’ve lost You will never replace
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1936
At Sea Breeze there was a freak show. that cost a dime to get in, even children
It featured the “dog boy” Inside the tent a small man crouched in a corner Sometimes he would make a barking sound And jump toward the watchers Who would retreat a step
My sister said he is full of hate I said his eyes look so sad My father said it’s a living.
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COOTIE GIRL
Chosen almost at random She is the stranger in our class.
Out of fashion, lagrantly impoverished We avidly follow the “in crowd�
With passion newly discovered We seek cootie girl to torment
Neither she nor we can escape he mandate of fourth grade.
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EDUCATED BY TV
here’s an announcement on TV from the FDA Cofee can give you Cancer! Oh! How do I explain to Juan Valdez Who lovingly picks the just right cofee beans From the hillside trees on sun drenched slopes? How to explain to those of us Who experience that good to the last drop Or treasure waking up with cofee in our cup Or feel incomplete without a biodegradable Paper cup of special blend in our hand As we walk to work?
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Dear Ma, I thought you’d be relieved to know I stopped biting my nails. I’m 92 now Having accumulated knowledge and wisdom in these last years
My nails look to me to be long and beautiful As you promised they would be I stopped biting my nails when my teeth fell out As you predicted.
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PUBLIC HEALTH NOTIFICATION
Sweet Eloise has a social disease And it hurts her when she pees he talk about the birds and bees And all the sexual ABC,s
Have led her down a wayward path Instilled in her a righteous wrath Toward the nasty little chap Who gave her such a dose of clap
So here’s a warning to everyone Who now sets forth for harmless fun To be on guard, I ask you please Refrain from banging Sweet Eloise
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THE LONG SEASON
I’ve always loved baseball he Sunshine game Cheering the Babe, Joltin’ Joe Hank Greenberg, Ted Williams Crying over Lou Gehrig’s farewell speech.
Taking the streetcar to Seal Stadium Watching the grace of Sandy Koufax Willie Mays, Willie McCovey, Orlando Cepeda
At windy Candlestick Park Sitting on the irst base line With my children hrough the long season.
he Yankee dynasty passes Big money teams lose the World Series Old players turn to coaching Critics second guess
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Heralding season’s end he Autumn Survivors Celebrate a brief victory
Old stars fade hrough the cold winter New teams are forming he boys of spring Have new names
Cheering young stars On their good days Judging How they weigh Against the old ones
In my own way Part of the only game in town
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1934
In the lot next door is a friendly old tree. Ater school we climb it, Walter Doescher and me. We sit on a high branch until pretty late. He is just seven, I am already eight.
I look at the ground and then at the sky. I hear the big noise when the streetcar goes by. I am a bird coming home to its nest Ater working all day to be able to rest.
We don’t say much, Walter Doesher and I But I know we are happy, and I can’t tell you why. It is good that the grown-ups below can’t see Two dumb little kids sitting up in a tree.
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POEM #3
African Refugee Camp
On TV the women are laughing Till tears run down, Shiny black rivers coursing Down grey sunken faces Crouching together Breathing hot dust Laughing About some secret joke Brushing lies from their eyes And laughing.
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VJ DAY AUGUST 15, 1945
It is the best day A forever day
Dancing with my sisters Along Hollywood Boulevard Hugging strangers, kissing sailors Singing don’t sit under the apple tree
My big brother sings funny songs And takes me to the pine cone forest
My handsome brother teaches me To ride the waves, a bike To drive a car
My baby brother sick a lot Reads science iction all the time
In the living room my mother Takes three blue stars Down from the window 28
THE TREE
I don’t kid myself that someone Planted that Japanese Maple tree To be there for me in my old age
It has grown tall In spring and summer With leaves so thick they obscure the view hat neighbors speak of so proudly
Two weeks in the fall It loses its leaves in a riot of Purple, red, orange, yellow, and brown
Winter winds blow away Remaining gray dry leaves Revealing the termite towers of downtown San Francisco New hives showing up each year
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INTERLUDE
he sidewalk is cracked and dusty his aternoon where I wait Heat invading every crevice
he sound of a lute Breaks the silence Someone is playing Orpheus and Eurydice It is silver rising Glorious and bright Expanding ever wider Over the empty city My heart opens In pure happiness. hat becomes a burden too much to bear “Someone is practicing a song” I say, “Nothing more” And resume waiting.
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THE VIEW FROM UP HERE
Door closes slowly on my life I have dropped traveling For even short auto trips Not leaving the house for live music heatre, reunions with old classmates
Yet holding on to a need to express houghts and observations So that when it closes inally, completely I hope not to be caught With my ingers in the door.
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BIRTHING
I own these hours Of parasite Clawing its way out of me Pain my only reality
Professionals in the ield of relationships Have decided this is a dual event Whose main mission is to include he prospective father
For a moment he becomes my burden Holding my hand, taking videos with smart phone Timing my agonizing “contractions� Embarrassed at my nakedness Frightened by my cries.
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My pain disappears with dramatic suddenness Tiny creature struggling in gloved hands Covered with slime, smeared with blood
Presented for me to hold I feel the beginning of need to comfort it As it becomes a person, this creature of mine.
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Limericks
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(From the original of Irny Kasle)
I once knew an accident prone fellow Who used an inlatable doll for a pillow In orgasmic delight He took a small bite And she farted and lew out the window
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One day while eating his lunch God had a heavenly hunch “To blessings divine I think I’ll add time So things don’t all happen at once”.
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A Frenchman had nothing but praise For Yellowstone’s wondrous ways He felt God’s hand On this glorious land And especially that giant bidet.
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From a wise man in distant Nepal Came the answer for my cousin Sol “When push comes to shove For unconditional love’ Get yourself an inlatable doll.”
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My uncle Ned was oten cranky From S and M and hanky panky hat hurt him just to sit And even more to take a shit From getting too much spanky spanky
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At an orgy I entered a room Where were waiting 2 lesbians and a broom So to the question I pose hat immediately arose Was who does what, and with what, and to whom
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When her cell phone vibrated Sweet Sue Was embarrassed because we all knew So that no one could steal it She chose to conceal it By shoving it up her wazoo.
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Sneak thief Anorexia Flynn Became so remarkably thin hat late at night With the stores locked up tight She’d slip under the door to get in
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A bride-to-be tried to rehearse With a vibrator stashed in her purse When the battery died She had to decide On marriage—for better or worse
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Jef Daumier wasn’t easy to please For example he wouldn’t eat cheese For breakfast cuisine He favored red meat And for dinner preferred Vietnamese
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A young bon-vivant from Quebec Found his life style had made him a wreck “You must think ahead” His conidante said “You’re entirely too loose Lautrec”
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You remember, our dear friend Sunny Whose nose was exceedingly runny Well he discovered a use For that medicinal juice And is making a shit load of money
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At a Geico company luncheon he gecko on Viagra was munchin’ If it’s working on you It should work on me too For I have a reptile dysfunction
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Watch your language around brother Rat he stupidest guy in our frat When the bragging got round To “pussy� we found he bastard had eaten our cat.
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A musical genius was Art Who developed great skill with his fart. His Bizet was ine His Mozart divine And he tooted Stravinski by heart
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Stupid John changed his last name to Nigger ’Cause he thought it would make his dick bigger Black men want to beat him Girls line up to meet him He’s America’s idol, go igure
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In this era of porn and of sleaze One myth is certain to please So I ask of you all If their dicks are so small How come there’s so many Chinese?
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One day while eating his lunch Demosthenes bit down with a crush To quote him, “Forsooth hough I’ve broken a tooth My diction’s improving a bunch”
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When George found no one to lead him And nobody eager to feed him When his cover was blown And he was all on his own He acquired a strong taste for freedom
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Darlene earns her keep as a mistress As she dreams of herself as an actress Asked, “Where do you work?” She replies with a smirk “Somewhere between mister and mattress.”
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Paranoid Mary Bell Stickle Had sex with a kosher dill pickle But she ceased her reliance On that soggy appliance Believing her pickle was ickle
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Hypochondriac Marybelle Frick Chose illness to be her one shtick When at age 107 She made it to heaven She announced, “See, I told you I’m sick”
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It’s obvious she really cares ‘Bout their beds and their food and their chairs She treasures her rug And the way that they hug Goldilocks has a thing about bears
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Catherine the Great in due course Reluctantly iled for divorce hough she tried to be fair No man could compare With the pleasure she got from her horse
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A beagle once of on a lark Seduced a big great white shark heir ofspring was shy And quite strange to the eye And its bite was far worse than its bark.
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A lascivious madam one day Called her local S.P.C.A. I want a big dog she said For my connubial bed But I must be assured he’s not gay
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A vampire that I got to know With Vampira puts on a great show hey met on the Skype heir own perfect type And daily exchange blood type O
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Cleopatra reclined in her palace As she fed her pet snake Cialis You’ll quickly see If you read history He resented his use as a phallus
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Poor indiscriminate Lou Tried humping a wild kangaroo To complete his enjoyment He added some ointment hat turned out to be Krazy glue
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All the Greek fable abound With insights deep and profound If Demosthenes Had a social disease I’m sure the old guy got around
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I have heard that the queen Guinevere Had a hymen transplant from her ear So in matters of state It is safe to relate She lited her leg just to hear
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My friend Libby was chronically late An issue considered not great But then when she died Found heaven denied For the gates are locked promptly at eight
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he lowly all purpose banana Was employed by the lady Diana She used it all night To her vast delight And ate it for breakfast maĂąana
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Bombers beware of the promises Of latter day Nostradomuses Heaven it’s true Virgins seventy-two But they all prove to be Helen homases
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Common knowledge has it Bo Peep Fell Madly in love with a sheep And the product thereof he night of their love She counted before she could sleep
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A randy knight was Sir Lancelot Whose outlet it seemed was to dance a lot And so I suppose When he asked Princess Rose She correctly viewed him askance a lot
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A hermaphroditic elf Chose to live all of his life on a shelf When asked was he lonely He smiled and said only “I’m suicient unto myself ”
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What it says in Deuteronomy Isn’t much help with anatomy Cause my uncle Mose While picking his nose Gave himself a lobotomy
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In the battle of sex there’s a ratio To quote the great hero Horatio “I hope to succeed But this terrible need Must irst be relieved by fel-----”
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he author
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I
was born the sixth of eight children to Jewish parents, immigrants from Eastern Europe, in 1925. he phrase poor but happy truly applied to us. My older brothers and sisters were wonderful role models, and I grew up intellectually stimulated. he entire family moved from Rochester, New York to California in 1936, away from the cold winters. I live in a house built 1907, ater the earthquake, on the edge of Sutro Forest. I have lived there with my husband, Harry Shain, for 58 years, where we raised our three daughters. Together they gave us four grandchildren. Harry died four years ago. My street is also adjacent to the University of California San Francisco where I was able to work and teach ater graduating from Medical School and residency as a Psychiatrist.