Redeeming Brokenness

Redeeming Brokenness

Lysa TerKeurst talks about finding and giving hope in the darkest time of her life.

by Suzan Braun

just between us SPRING 2019

18

faith conversations

From the outside looking in,

Lysa TerKeurst’s life seemed close to picture perfect.

sold-out dependence on Him in the midst of life’s greatest and most recent heartaches is richly depicted in her latest book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered (Thomas Nelson, 2018). “Sometimes,” says Lysa, “to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like.” And that is exactly what she has done.

PHOTOGRAPHY: JENNIFER ABERCROMBIE

Married to her childhood sweetheart for over 20 years, mother of five young adults, founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries—a worldwide Christian women’s organization with six million social media followers—and a No. 1 New York Times bestselling author of over 20 books, who could ask for more? And yet, during this season of great personal and professional success, her world shattered and came crashing down.

“In 2016, I experienced an upheaval in my marriage—what I thought was my safest, most secure relationship,” recalls Lysa. “Addictions and an affair became part of the devastation. I’ve had my heart broken a lot, but nothing like this.” As the crisis unfolded and escalated, Lysa told her husband Art, “I love you. I can forgive you. But I can’t share you!” After many months of intense couple’s counseling, and with the hope of restoration, Art continued to abuse substances and be unfaithful. After much prayer and consultation, Lysa felt it was time to make the hardest decision of her life and pursue divorce.

Not only was Lysa’s marriage falling apart, so was her body. She had an intensely painful health issue that resulted in serious surgery, removing most of her colon. The doctors said she should not have survived. Not long after that, and while still separated from Art, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a double mastectomy. The emotional and physical pain of the havoc in her body and the betrayal in her marriage was excruciating. There were days and months spent in deep darkness and fear. “I promised myself that if I actually survived the act of looking my greatest fears in the face, I would eventually be a voice of help and hope for others thrust into a despair they never imagined,” says Lysa. “So, here I am. I survived. And I am determined to turn my battle scars into a battle cry to help others.”

Lysa has never wasted the pain and still allows God to use it as her very best teacher. Her

JBU visited with Lysa recently. Join us as she shares more of her story, including an incredible surprise along the way.

JBU: Why did you write It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way?

Lysa: Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. We have this feeling that things should be better than they are. People should be better than they are. Circumstances should be better than they are. Finances should be better than they are. Some events may simply catch us off guard for a moment, but others shatter us completely. And underneath it all, we’re disappointed. I deeply and personally understand that ache of disappointment. That’s why I wrote the book.

If I could only give one life message, this would be it. I want to help others find the hope God has given me in the midst of the most heartbreaking season of my life. I want them to be able to find unexpected strength when disappointments leave them shattered. I want them to know how to wrestle well between faith and feelings when life gets turned upside down.

JBU: How have you wrestled with your feelings and faith?

Lysa: I have honest feelings where I want to throw my hands up in utter frustration and yell about the unfairness of it all. To deny my feelings any voice is to rob me of being human. But to let my feelings be the only voice will rob my soul of healing perspectives—the very insights God wants to comfort me and carry me forward. My feelings and my faith will almost certainly come into conflict with each other. My feelings see rotten situations as absolutely unnecessary hurt. My soul sees it as fertilizer for a better future. Both these perspectives are real. And they yank me in different directions with never-ending wrestling. To wrestle well means acknowledging my feelings but moving forward, letting my faith lead the way.

19

just between us SPRING 2019