Although somehow closely associated with each other, I think we first have to distinguish the differences between Negativity, Criticism, Demoralization and Bad Attitude! Taking the latter first:-
Bad Attitude
An Attitude can be defined as your expression or perspective towards a thing, person or place. Bad attitude is the tendency of always having negative expressions towards a person, a thing or a place. Do you recall any of the following? Most of the employees at work during the last months had to endure the Bad Attitude problem that existed with the then Team Leader and/or supervisors. 1. Always assuming that there is something wrong with other people, and never himself - i.e. if there's a problem, it's their fault not his. 2. Being completely unwilling to behave in a way that might actually help to solve or improve a bad or unhappy situation. 3. Being completely apathetic, uncaring and/or inconsiderate about the feelings of others or the effect of one's behaviour on others. Maybe an overall definition could be: - ‘being part of the problem instead of part of the solution’. There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.
And so we come to Negativity! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Expressing, containing, or consisting of a negation, refusal, or denial. Indicating opposition or resistance. Lacking positive or constructive features. Unpleasant; disagreeable. Unfavourable or detrimental. Hostile or disparaging.
If you claim that I am negative? In respect to what and by whom? Have you ever come on a shift or left a shift where I was peeved off, fuming, enraged or whatever? I might have criticized a situation, even a customer (not direct), but not in a negative tense but one to solve a solution or make aware of a problem for future reference. Maybe, because I don’t show the enthusiasm toward charities (GHOSCC) as you and some other team members do, you regard this as a negative demeanour. dodie ste®eo p®odu©tion ™
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Not being exuberant, fanatical or passionate about any charities is my prerogative and is based on my personal past experiences with some charity organizations. If you want to know why, I have attached a couple of PDF files that cover my point of views about why I am totally against charity organizations. The only comment I have, which might be considered not very P.C.ness or even malicious in the view of many is “How many years was he involved in charity work, even got an OBE and Knighthood, and what do the Mr & Mrs General Public think of Jimmy Saville today?” Have you ever met Debbie Downer, Negative Nancy or Pessimistic Patty? These people can be so entrenched in the bad things that there isn’t any room for good things to grow. They inhabit our families and social circles. It can be emotionally draining just being around them, and you must be careful because their attitudes are contagious. Negativity perpetuates itself, breeds dissatisfaction and clutters the mind. And when the mind is cluttered with negativity, happiness is much harder to come by. Here are some ways that I have learnt to defend myself against negativity:
Don’t take other people’s negativity personally. Most negative people behave negatively not just to you, but to everyone they interact with. What they say and do is a projection of their own reality – their own attitude. Even when a situation seems personal – even if someone insults you directly – it oftentimes has nothing to do with you. Remember, what others say and do, and the opinions they have, are based entirely on their own self-reflection.
Spend more time with positive people. You are the average of the people you spend the most time with. In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you eventually become. If you are around cynical and negative people all the time, you will become cynical and negative. Does who you are and who you want to be reflect in the company you keep? Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you, and people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.
Be the positivity you want to see in the world. Lead by example. You can’t always save the world, but you can make the world a better place by practicing what you preach – by becoming self-aware, tapping into your compassion, and protecting your positive space. Doing simple things like talking about positive daily events, common friends, hobbies, happy news, make for light conversations with negative people. Keep the conversations focused on optimistic areas the person can relate to. You can disarm their negativity, even if it’s just for a little while.
Change the way you think. The one thing nobody can take away from you is the way you choose to respond to what others say and do. The problem isn’t the events that are negative. The problem is the way you react to those events. The last of your
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freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given circumstance. Complaining, blaming and criticizing aren’t going to change the situation. It is not always easy to find happiness in ourselves, but it is always impossible to find it elsewhere. Regardless of the situation you face, your attitude is your choice. Remember, you can’t have a positive life with a negative attitude. When negativity controls your thoughts, it limits your behaviour, actions, and opportunities. If you realized how powerful your thoughts were, you would never think another negative thought again.
Focus on solutions. Negative people have an endless supply of pity party invitations. Don’t RSVP. Oftentimes people use negativity as a barrier to protect themselves from the world, which in turn blocks them from solutions that could improve their life. Instead, identify solutions. Don’t dwell too much on what went wrong. Instead, focus on the next positive step. Spend your energy on moving forward toward a positive resolution. Remember, when you focus on solutions, by thinking and acting positively, sound becomes music, movement becomes dance, a smile becomes laughter, and life becomes a celebration.
Love whoever is around to be loved. Practice acts of kindness. It’s a lot harder to be negative when you’re in the presence of love and kindness. Be that presence whenever possible. Let your guard down. Talk to someone you don’t know straight from your heart. Compliment them. Don’t anticipate awkwardness. Just be you in that beautiful way only you know, and give them the chance to smile and connect with you. Sometimes a kind word and some attention from a friend is all that’s needed to turn a negative attitude around.
Provide support when it makes sense. Some people complain as a way of crying for help. They may not be conscious of it though, so their comments come across as negative complaints rather than requests. Show some concern. Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders. Resist the urge to judge or assume. It’s hard to offer compassion when you assume you have them figured out. Let them know they are not alone. People overcome the forces of negative emotions, like anger and hatred, when the counter-forces of love and support are in full effect.
Realize that life is a series of ups and downs. Acknowledge the negativity, accept it, and let it pass through your consciousness, thereby teaching you a lesson but not ruining your day. Life is full of highs and lows, but you don’t have to go up and down with them. We develop from the negatives when we accept them and learn from them. This cycle is all part of the human experience. Relax, let go a little, and enjoy the ride.
Concentrate on today. Too often, we carry around things from our past that hurt us – regrets, shame, anger, pain, etc. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Don’t let these negative points from the past rob your present happiness. You had to live though these things in the past, and
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although unfortunate, they can’t be changed. But if the only place they live today is in your mind, then let go, move on, and be happy. You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future.
Let go and move on when you must. If all else fails, remove yourself from the wrong situations and relationships. Some people are like dark clouds; when they disappear, it’s a brighter day. Know when it’s time to let go. Letting go of negative people doesn’t mean you hate them, it just means that you care about your own wellbeing. Every time you subtract negative from your life, you make room for more positive. So how you or anyone else claims that my views are negative is actually beyond comprehension. However, saying all that I might be using some negative words at work without knowing it. I might also be putting down the company or some of its procedures or management decisions, or I may be demonstrating some negative body gestures or facial expressions, or my voice may have a negative tone. But in all honesty I am not aware that I’m coming across as negative. I have always believed that telling the truth is better.
I also think if someone has a problem with the truth, then they should have the courage to confront me with it and not hind behind a third party, which unfortunately has now become the standard at many firms. For example, if I had to introduce a new process within my group that I disagree with and know that my group also disagrees with; hiding my view from the group is the lie. When people eventually find out the truth about what I originally thought (which happens nine out of ten times), they are likely to become even more negative about this process. Therefore if being honest and telling the truth creates negativity, is it better to lie? I don’t think so! I am part of a team, and as a team player I do eventually support the decision, but it would be more advantageous if everyone concerned had the explanation and time on the WHY, WHAT, HOW, WHO AND WHEN? However, when it comes to criticism and that I am sometimes VERY critical about certain events, things and actions taking place is actually another theme and one I will admit too as something I tend to do rather frequently. Criticism is the application of judgment through evaluation, resulting in either positive or negative feedback for a receiving part. Presenting negative feedback may not be easy, but is a hallmark of solid pedagogy and maintenance of interpersonal relations. dodie ste®eo p®odu©tion ™
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Constructive criticism is productive in that it aids the work of the person who is subject to criticism to address the shortcomings of the work. Non-constructive criticism is characterized by an absence of constructive criticism. Non-constructive criticism presents negative feedback by pointing out what is wrong. Consider what has been said. In contrast to constructive criticism, nonconstructive criticism does not offer any advice on how to improve the negative aspects of the work that is subject to criticism. In the case with untrained supervisors, I tried to focus on the problem, not on the person’s personality. Yes I disliked certain persons and have had no respect for them as a Supervisor or Team Leader because of the way they treated the female and younger employees’, their blame culture, their underhanded and deceitful actions towards not only employees’, but customers as well. So yes - I did criticize some actions, but not only too the members of staff but to their face as well. Here's a question guaranteed to make your stomach lurch: "Would you mind if I gave you some feedback?" What that actually means is "Would you mind if I gave you some negative feedback, wrapped in the guise of constructive criticism, whether you want it or not?" The problem with criticism is that it challenges our sense of value. Criticism implies judgment and we all recoil from feeling judged. Criticism is a threat to our esteem in the eyes of others is so potent they can literally feel like threats to our very survival. The conundrum is that feedback is necessary. It's the primary means by which we learn and grow. So what's the best way to deliver it in a way that it provides the greatest value — meaning the recipient truly absorbs and acts on it? There are three key behaviours, I believe, and they're each grounded in the recognition that what we say is often less important than how we say it. The first mistake we often make is giving feedback when we are feeling that our own value is at risk. That's a recipe for disaster, and it happens far more commonly than we think, or are aware. If we're feeling threatened or diminished by another person's perceived shortcomings, providing "constructive criticism" becomes secondary to getting our value back. We're more likely to be reactive, insensitive and even hurtful.
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If it's about us, it's not truly about them. Any time we provide feedback with the goal of getting someone to better meet our needs, rather than being responsive to theirs, it's unlikely to prompt the desired outcome. The second mistake we make in giving feedback is failing to hold the other person's value in the process. Even the most well-intentioned criticism will, more often than not, prompt us to feel our value is at risk, and under attack. The third mistake we make is to assume that we're right about whatever it is we're inclined to say. Like lawyers, we take a series of facts and weave them together into a story that supports and justifies the case we're seeking to make. Additionally I think keep your self-esteem proportional. Don't have it too high or too low for yourself. If it is too low, you will be sensitive to criticism because it reminds you how bad you think you are. If it is too high, you will get angry at people and be disappointed of yourself. It may be difficult to maintain this balance. Just keep reminding yourself that "I am what i am and i am true to myself. I am not a perfect person but at the same time i do posses some talent". Tell people to give constructive criticism to you. It doesn't hurt as much when you tell people to. Correct what they are criticising, or they will see you as stubborn or annoying. Try to improve. It may sound like a cliché but this is what you can do. There is no point in mulling over those words. Look beyond the 'words'. Take it in good spirit. Make an effort to eradicate those negatives. It’s a part of life. It is very important that you know that you cannot escape criticism. The more success you will find the harsher will be the criticism. Take a look at all the famous people; there are millions who criticize them. They always take it in good spirit and maybe that's why they are successful. No matter what you do there will always be people who will praise as well as criticize you. Nothing is perfect. I just roll my eyes when I see a company requesting: - “Please consider the environment and don’t print this email unless you really need to or switch off the electrical equipments and/or lights etc..” And then walk into a warehouse and see the wastage not to mention the damage, not only on paper products, but food stuff and materials. I now understand why there is a hike of astronomical overhead costs in products which has taken place in many retail outlets, the management blame it on shop-lifting and logistics, when actually it is due to the neglect and inadequate standards in place to protect goods; the blame (IMHO) is the incompetence and lack of training to whoever is in control.
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Now with the question and answers about demoralization! And again, even you must agree that the Morales of the team in retail are very low, if not at the lowest for many years. Team Leaders/Supervisors seem to only have the following agendas: To undermine the confidence or morale of the team To put into disorder the team To debase the morals of the team Demoralized workers are bad for a company's productivity levels and the quality of client service. Low employee morale can result from a variety of sources, including from the actions of management as well as the example superiors choose to set for lower-level workers. A close examination of the workplace is necessary to determine how business strategies and management actions are affecting employee morale.
1. Lack of Workplace Trust
Workplace relationships between employees and management personnel are built primarily on trust. Employees may display low morale and a general air of demoralization when management treats them like tools and not people with valuable opinions and perspectives on the tasks at hand. Emotionally disengaged employees who feel manipulated by this management strategy won't work as hard for the business and may produce a lower quality of work or simply take longer to complete tasks.
2. Lack of Upward Mobility
A mail-room clerk who knows he's never ascending through the company's ranks and out of the lowest level will only work so hard to keep his job. An organizational culture that lacks a means for workers to be upwardly mobile and earn promotions through hard work can demoralize the staff as these employees watch executives and management personnel enjoy lucrative benefits and perks while the work of lower-level employees goes unrewarded. A lack of upward mobility also shows a disconnect between the expectations of management and the example these personnel set for lower-level employees.
3. Department Infighting
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Infighting among team members can drag department morale down and demoralize workers on the receiving end of workplace harassment. Management must be proactive in confronting instances of harassment in the workplace and immediately discipline workers guilty of committing such acts. Page 7 of 10
Management and ownership that permit a culture of harassment to permeate the workplace can cause worker morale to slip even further. They may even incur civil liability if affected employees choose to sue for creating a workplace where harassment can thrive.
4. Micromanaging Employee Jobs
Monitoring employees is an acceptable means of controlling product quality, but watching workers too closely can shake employee confidence and weaken morale. Micromanaging occurs when management or ownership question and critique worker performance at every turn -- even simple tasks. Micromanagement causes workers to fear unrealistic retribution for failing to perform up to an invisible standard. Setting clear expectations for worker performance and allowing these employees to engage in tasks without immediate critique can help keep morale steady and avoid demoralizing the workforce as a whole. Another reason is that the majority of people who find themselves in a management position have been promoted there for something other than their team management or leadership skills (even where these “behavioural competencies” are assessed during recruitment). Very few have a natural flair for working with people. Some of them improve. Many do not. And organisations who invest in L&D that would improve these skills reward other behaviours first. My experiences in the past and my last employment have shown that this form of malpractice is very, very common throughout the western hemisphere workforce.
The bizarre thing is that this kind of leadership often leads to projects running late, over budget and with very unhappy users. But for reasons that are beyond me, they are allowed to blame the developers and carry on regardless. Users in these organisations often just accept that how it is in the head quarters?????? Very frustrating or should I say demoralization; and I would like to add that much of the leadership seems to be based on the level of confident assertion used rather than on the facts.
How to Demoralize Staff and Lose Talented People. Maybe a brief guide to management mal-practice is required? I am not a management consultant but I often hear stories from people who are feeling demoralized by management practices that frustrate, exasperate, infuriate, disempowered and ultimately de-motivates them. When this happens, formerly enthusiastic, dedicated, dodie ste®eo p®odu©tion ™
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bright people start looking for something else to do, a sure sign that idealism has turned to cynicism and hardened attitudes mask professional disappointment. Managers often underestimate the value of staff contributions to the thinking and decision-making needed for a project and the company to be successful. In this example, the service would most likely be of better quality if the team freely contributed their collective knowledge. As it is, ways to improve it were not mentioned, because the staff quickly learns that caring about the product and speaking up only creates unpleasant confrontations and ends in frustration. Even more costly to the employer is that the best and brightest team members will be the first to find jobs elsewhere – probably with a competitor who understands that investing in functional management and team dynamics is a competitive advantage. So how does this happen? In spite of all the courses books on leadership and management, this story is sadly still too familiar. One reason is that systemically, team dynamics are not deemed a priority. In the above example, the ‘control freak’ manager is not accountable for team morale. As long as the service is being done on time, the box is ticked. The more senior people probably don’t know that they could be creating a better service, with happier (and more loyal) staff. There is no line in the budget for the cost of management mal-practice and dysfunctional teams. If companies were to cost in the absence, turnover, lack of productivity, mediocrity and lack of innovation – and attribute these to their origins in management malpractice – quality team dynamics, project management and leadership would receive the investment they deserve. I have gone from a loyal employee that watched out for the owner of the company to someone with extremely low morale due to the poor management/leadership. I do my job exceptionally well; at least I think so – Sadly now I just do not put any more effort than what I expect for myself.
Why do I and no doubt many others who were on the shop floor have such a demoralized attitude now? There is a well known saying. “Trust takes years to build, seconds to destroy and a lifetime to repair” or in my case “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, forever to repair……” These remarks have nothing to do with negativity or criticism, but a true fact that has actually happened to me and no doubt others in the company, and if analysed by anyone else, would also be perceptible as the truth. That is why I no longer take anything on face value anymore, there is no way that I will throw caution to the wind and trust people who I hardly know – Especially as the last three months there have been more introduction of supervision staff coming and going than I eat breakfasts…………. dodie ste®eo p®odu©tion ™
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