Journal & Courier | jconline.com | February 22, 2013
Your
season to
shine Stand out in winter wedding wear PAGE 2
Add personality to your photos PAGE 4
A wedding on your own dime PAGE 6
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Friday, February 22, 2013
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IT’S ALL IN THE DETAILS FOR WINTER WEDDING DRESSES
By Taya Flores tflores@jconline.com
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ith the aid of her seamstress stepmother, Lauren Sullivan had an ‘80s wedding dress transformed into a gown fit for a modern bride. After alterations, the embossed ivory dress featured pearl buttons along the bodice and straps to hold up her sweetheart neckline. “I loved the little details to it,” said 26-year-old Sullivan, of Lafayette. “I loved the pearls around the neck and the train was gorgeous.” Fashion experts are of a similar opinion. When it comes to choosing the perfect winter wedding dress this year, it’s all about the details. Although the weather may be cold and icy, brides are not afraid to don a dress with interesting details, bare backs or intricate lace. Kelli Goldsmith, store manager at David’s Bridal in Lafayette, said brides will still Lauren Sullivan models her wedding dress inside Duncan Hall. BY BRENT DRINKUT/JOURNAL & COURIER
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WINTER WEDDING DRESSES Style and preservation tips for brides getting married in the winter: Bustle: Make sure you have someone with you at the wedding who knows how to bustle your dress. A quick bustle of your train before leaving the church will prevent the dress from dragging in the snow. Clean and preserve: After the wedding and reception, the dress will be disgusting from snow and salt. So be sure to have the dress professionally cleaned and preserved after the wedding. A professional cleaning will prevent yellowing of the fabric and beads. Pass it on: Cut it up to make communion dresses, sell it, or pass it down to your daughter. Just remember, it’s important to keep it preserved. Source: Kelli Goldsmith, store manager at David’s Bridal in Lafayette
Lauren Sullivan had a 1980s-style wedding dress altered to suit her modern tastes. BY BRENT DRINKUT/JOURNAL & COURIER
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choose a strapless dress in winter. There’s also an interest in back detailing with lace overlay of a back cutout, buttons down the back or open cutouts. This doesn’t come as a surprise, given the bride’s back is center stage for most of the ceremony. Julie Sander, a bridal consultant at The Bridal Boutique & Mr. Penguin Tuxedo in Lafayette, said full dresses rather than slim or sheath-style dresses are popular for winter weddings. A white gown is also a good option for winter wedding dresses because the color evokes the
hue of snow. White also works well with details such as intricate beading. “White just seems more wintery,” she said. “Beading just picks up the light a lot better when it’s on a white dress.” Satin and tulle gowns also work better in winter. They are heavier and can provide warmth in cooler temperatures. “A chiffon sheath doesn’t look very seasonal,” Sander said. Other ways to keep warm include faux fur outerwear such as a winter white bolero or fur muff for hands. If faux fur doesn’t appeal to the bride, she can always opt for a hooded satin cloak. Brides also can have cap sleeves added to a strapless dress or choose a dress with an illusion neckline for added
ON THE COVER Tabitha Spence models a wedding dress suitable for a winter ceremony in Happy Hollow Park. Photo by John Terhune/ Journal & Courier
warmth. “Illusion neckline dresses are gorgeous,” Goldsmith said. “They still give you modesty but almost have a strapless feel to them.” Sullivan married her husband, Patrick Sullivan, Dec. 29 at the Church of the Blessed Sacrament in West Lafayette. The couple had their reception at Duncan Hall in Lafayette. She initially wanted a dress with a gold hue to match the wedding colors of black and gold, which were befitting for
the couple, who met as students at Purdue University. “I went with the black because I wanted my bridesmaids to go buy little black dresses,” she said. Also, the gold and black combination is a popular color pairing during the holiday season. But Sullivan couldn’t pass up a gifted dress and after the wedding, she is happy with her choice. “The material was a thicker material,” she said. “It worked out really nicely.”
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Friday, February 22, 2013
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Doug Booth and Kelsey Houin had engagement photos taken this fall. The couple is planning a June 1 wedding. PHOTOS PROVIDED BY MICHAEL MEEKS PHOTOGRAPHY
Engagement photos about more than a set of pictures By MaryJane Slaby mslaby@jconline.com
Doug Booth and Kelsey Houin both lived near the “Sidewinder” sculpture at Purdue University and passed it regularly on their way to classes. And Bistro 501 is where the couple was engaged in December 2011. So the two locations seemed like obvious choices for the couple’s engagement photos with Michael Meeks of Michael Meeks Photography this fall. Local photographers, including Meeks, agree that engagement photos aren’t necessarily becoming more popular, but we’re seeing them in a new format. “In the past, the photo was more of a studio shot for the
newspaper announcement, but now it’s about their hobbies,” Meeks said. “It’s what they are interested in.” “Some people think of it as going to a park and walking around for a while, but that’s not it,” he said. Both Christy Marks of McGreevy-Marks Photography and Kim Davis of Kim Davis Photography said couples see engagement photos on social media and use ideas they find there. Marks said the goal is to find a personal setting in their favorite spots or doing their hobbies. And sometimes that includes a studio photo, too. An engagement session is See PHOTOS, Page 5
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Booth and Houin had photos shot in meaningful locations for the couple, including various spots at Purdue University.
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about more than photos before the wedding. It helps to capture the couple’s personality and establish a relationship with a photographer. Although they first started dating at Plymouth High School and will graduate from Purdue in May, Houin said she and Booth don’t have a lot of photos together. To her, engagement photos were a way to have photos of themselves before the big day. “It’s nice to have professional pictures while in college,” Booth added. Davis said the engagement session is more relaxed than the wedding photos, and she also takes photos of the couple interacting with each other. Plus, Davis makes a point to take individual portraits during an engagement session. “It’s important to capture what people look like and who they are when they are young,” she said. In an engagement session, they look like they do every day and aren’t all dressed up for the wedding.
While the photos can be used for everything from save-thedate cards to guest books, a relationship between the couple and photographer is developing during the session. Marks said if the couple already knows her, they are more comfortable with her at the wedding. Meeks added that usually he only sees the couple once before the wedding day, so to have a session to figure out if they are camera shy or to coach them on how to angle their faces is helpful. “The florist and the cake baker are only with them for a short time, the photographer is with them all day long,” he said. Admittedly camera shy, Booth and Houin said their engagement session made them feel comfortable to laugh and have fun. So by the time they got to the fountain at Riehle Plaza, Houin said they were goofing around, and Booth dipped her. She said that although Meeks said he didn’t usually take dipping photos, he thought the shot was exactly what an engagement photo should be — the couple being who they are. “Doug dipping me is something he’d do,” Houin said.
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Friday, February 22, 2013
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Modern couples forgo ‘Who’s paying’ talk, now fund weddings themselves By Lauren Sedam lsedam@jconline.com
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ou’ve got each other, the ring and the perfect wedding dream, and now, only one question remains — who’s going to pay? Tradition has the bride and her parents picking up most of the tab — including flowers, venue and reception expenses — with the groom and his family pitching in for the rehearsal dinner, groom’s attire and honeymoon. But many people say that way of splitting financial responsibilities is changing. Andrea Taia Alvarado is Stephens a wedding planner for White Willow Events in Greater Lafayette, and she works with many brides every season to make their dream days a reality. When it comes Taia to working with a Alvarado budget, she said more and more people are avoiding the family dilemma altogether and actually footing the bill themselves. “Since people are getting married later in life, they’re not as worried about sticking to traditional things,” Alvarado said. She said the couple will often wait longer to get engaged or married, and many times, both parties have established careers. That gives them an established financial life as well, she said. Regardless, Alvarado said, parents tend to chip in at least a little. “Lots of things are going half and half,” she said. “But parents still have a role in paying for something.” And when that’s the case, said
Andrea Stephens, the owner of Sharon’s Flowers in Lafayette, it really depends on the family. They have to factor in how many other sons or daughters they might have to save for and contribute to, whether there are step-parents or other relatives who want to help and whether it’s the first of many weddings or the last. Many times, Stephens added, parents say, “Here’s what we have. You can add what you want to it.” The parental budget can help make a more grand vision come true, Alvarado said, but it sometimes comes with a caveat. “If the parents are involved, they often have more say,” she said. The bride and groom might have more pressure to stick to the budget absolutely. But when the couple is in charge of the funds, Alvarado and Stephens said, they tend to get creative and personalize things. That’s exactly how Trisha Holle tackled her wedding budget. She and her new husband paid for the entire thing themselves, she said. They saved money by having friends pitch in and skipping the sit-down dinner in favor of hors d’oeuvres and a make-your-own nacho bar. Holle said she’s not alone in her budget choices. Many of her friends with upcoming weddings are doing the same thing. “I don’t know a whole lot of people whose parents pay for their whole wedding anymore,” she said. But though there’s much evidence to support a change in tradition, Holle said there’s one expense that typically remains traditional. The bride’s family will often still pay for or contribute to the bride’s dress, she said — so that might be one budget tradition that sticks.
GETTY IMAGES
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EW YORK — No offense
to Cinderella, but she sort of had it backwards. The shoe should be at the end of the to-do list for a wedding fairy tale. After the engagement, first consider the venue, then the dress — then the shoes and other accessories, experts say. Collectively, they should have a complementary vibe. “It’s all a picture that comes together,” says gown designer Reem Acra. No flip-flops for a formal setting and dress, and satin pumps would be silly on the beach. Tanya Dukes, accessories editor at Brides magazine, suggests these practical questions: » How high for the heel? Think of the proportions of the dress, how tall you’ll stand and if you are used to wearing heels at all, she says. » Is the wedding outside? A lawn wedding, for example, could be trouble for a spiky heel. A wedge would fare better. » How formal is the occasion? Fabric matters here. “Satin is the traditional choice, and it’s a safe bet,” Dukes says. And then there’s deciding whether you ever want to wear the shoes again. “Most women don’t wear their bridal shoes again not because they’re not wearable, but because they’re a memento,” says footwear designer Stuart Weitzman, who got his start in business in bridal more than 25 years ago. “I make every bridal shoe in dyeable satin, so you could wear them again, but you’d lose the
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Don’t forget
SHOES on your wedding to-dos By Samantha Critchell
Associated Press
Naughty pave Coy high heel wedding shoe by Stuart Weitzman AP
memento, and then you’d wear those dyed shoes once and ruin those ‘bridal shoes.’ Most women never throw them out.” Weitzman says his success in
this market is due partly to an observation by Judith Leiber, founder of the famous beaded bag collection, who noted an “ugly bluish tone” to most wedding
shoes. He created a pair out of Swiss lace, won a design award for them and the rest is history. He sees as much variety in wedding-shoe styles as he does on the street: Women want sandals, stilettos, platforms and lace booties, but the traditional pump is the most popular. Shoes often spend most of the big day covered by the gown’s hemline, but they can be a glimpse of the bride’s personality. The moment the shoes will probably get the most attention is right before she kicks them off to dance, says Acra with a laugh. Crafting a head-to-toe mood is a delicate balancing act between modernity and timelessness, she explains. Now, the shoe? That’s a place to have a little fun. “If I have a bride in the showroom, I might say, ‘Why not an orange shoe?’” Acra says. “It’s fun to have something different. I love playing with shoes. I really prefer colored shoes or something with bling or fun.” Metallics are a good middle-ofthe-road option, as is blush pink, and even black is doable, especially if you add a black ribbon sash around the waist of the dress. The most important thing, as with all decisions on the bride’s look, is that she is happy and comfortable in it, Acra says. “When you’re walking down the aisle, really no one will be looking at your shoe. But you’ll remember what you were wearing, and if it was bright red, when you talk to your children 20 years later, you can say, ‘I was ahead of my time.’”
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Friday, February 22, 2013
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Friday, February 22, 2013
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Friday, February 22, 2013
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Brides, grooms say ‘I do’ on the farm By Colleen Newvine Tebeau Associated Press
Robert Pollock started hosting weddings at his Buttermilk Falls Inn and Spa as a fluke. He bought a 1764 house on about 100 acres in the Hudson Valley, north of New York City, and one of the guys he hired to do work on the property needed a place for a wedding, so Pollock agreed. “Of course it poured rain but we got through it,” he recalled. Pollock accidentally became part of a trend — couples planning weddings with locally sourced menus and taking place at farms. In Chicago, Paul Larson is a farm-to-table chef in the truest sense; he’s both executive chef at Blue Plate caterers and owner of a farm in Cassopolis, Mich., where he grows microgreens
Chad Greer is executive chef at Henry’s at the Farm restaurant, in the Millstone Farm garden in Milton, N.Y. AP
HOW TO HOST A FARM WEDDING If you are considering a farm wedding, some tips from experts: » Keep the food fun and familiar. You can accommodate less adventurous diners (and vegetarians) with a baked potato bar, for example. » Plan for the season but stay flexible. If you want peaches and tomatoes on a locavore menu, that probably means July, not February. But weather conditions the year of your wedding could speed up, slow down or wipe out a particular crop. » Prepare for outdoor conditions. Have extra wraps for cool evenings, and cheap sunglasses. » Have a bad-weather contingency plan. If you’re outside, have a backup like a tent, and if you’re in a barn or other farm building, don’t assume there’s heat or air conditioning. » Remember that guests might think of a wedding as dressy. Either spell out a casual dress code, or think about how you’ll keep high heels and fancy dresses clean.
and heirloom tomatoes. “When I moved out to Michigan, they all laughed at me because I was a city boy wanting to be a farmer,” Larson said. Now, with the growing popularity of locavore dining, he finds it an advantage to offer catering clients produce he’s grown, or the meat and dairy of his neighbors. Because wedding clients tend to book far in advance, Larson can order seeds and grow an item to order. He grew butternut squash and leeks specifically for one menu last year, for example. Larson estimates that most of the couples booking Blue Plate for weddings are interested in food issues on some level, from dabblers to those serious about sourcing the entire meal from small farms within a 100-mile See FARM, Page 11
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radius, donating leftovers, recycling wine corks and the like. Blue Plate tries to accommodate couples wherever they are on that spectrum, Larson said. That means communicating clearly about a couple’s priorities and about what’s in season, and accepting the need to adapt if a particular item comes in early or late. Jane Eckert, who consults with farms on tourism as owner of Eckert AgriMarketing, in St. Louis, Mo., has seen an increase in farms wanting to host weddings but says “it’s the brides who are driving it.” “Brides are looking for unique destinations and farmers are looking for ways to supplement their income,” she said. Weddings are still a niche business for farms, Eckert said; pumpkin patches, hay rides, apple picking and corn mazes are more popular. But once a farmer has invested in the infrastructure to
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make visitors comfortable, such as putting in bathrooms and a big parking lot, weddings can be a logical next step. “This appeals to the next generation (of farmers) that’s coming in. They have an opportunity to build a new business on the farm,” Eckert said. “It takes the right personality,” she added, since hosting weddings means working with sometimes-demanding brides, working into the night, and dealing with the commotion of big parties. Other examples of the locavore wedding trend around the United States include the Jefferson Hotel in Richmond, Va., which uses local Rappahannock oysters, Manakintowne Farms lettuces, Dave and Dee’s locally grown oyster mushrooms; and produce from the hotel’s own garden on wedding menus. The hotel recently installed beehives on its roof and plans to harvest the honey next spring. Grande Lakes Orlando resort in Florida is preparing to open an outdoor farm and event space called Whisper Creek Farm with 7,000 square feet of fruit and vegetable gardens on the 500-
acre Grande Lakes estate, which also includes The Ritz-Carlton and JW Marriott hotels. Wedding guests will be encouraged to peruse the garden, and even pick and taste. Mary Ellen Murphy, owner of Off the Beaten Path Weddings, in Napa, Calif., has been a wedding planner for about two decades. Although northern California has long been a food-focused place, she said, she sees couples increasingly interested in making good food a focus of their celebrations. Farms appeal to couples getting married, she thinks, because so many people work indoors and are nature-deprived; it reconnects them to the earth. “Seeing elegance out in the middle of nature brings back some fond memory of childhood and how good it felt to run around,” Murphy said. “People want to bottle that feeling and give that to their guests.” She recently helped her publicist, Elana Free, plan her wedding, with a farm-like vibe that drew on Free’s childhood memories of visiting her grandparents’ ranch.
“We would pick mulberries for hours during the summer from which my grandma would make delicious jam and pie. We gathered persimmons and walnuts, eggs from the chickens, pulled carrots from the garden, milked the goats, and even went scouting for arrowheads,” Free recalled. Free said her wedding menu featured local peaches and watermelon agua fresca at the welcome table; locally sourced chicken on the family-style, build-your-own-tacos dinner menu; locally roasted coffee at an espresso bar; local wine; and a dessert bar with family favourites made by relatives. Buttermilk Falls, in Milton, N.Y., typically hosts about 10 weddings a year, getting some menu items from its nearby Millstone Farm — 10 acres of organic herbs, vegetables and fruits — and its restaurant, Henry’s Farm to Table. Chad Greer, who recently joined as chef, gears large-scale recipes to what’s in season. And he is lobbying for an Argentinian barbecue so he can do whole local pigs.
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Friday, February 22, 2013
For some brides, fun is the game at their receptions By Melissa Kossler Dutton Associated Press
At Bernie and Jordan Hajovsky’s wedding reception, it was useful to know details about the happy couple: Guests had to answer questions about them before they could join the buffet line. The newlyweds hoped the trivia game and other activities would make the reception more memorable. “I really wanted people to walk away feeling they had been involved and that it was the most fun wedding reception they had ever attended,” said Jordan Hajovsky, of Austin, Texas. Games, contests and other icebreakers have become increasingly popular at wedding receptions, said Sarabeth Quattlebaum, spokeswoman for the American Association of Certified Wedding Planners, in Dallas. “Couples want a party atmosphere and have realized that the more guests mix and mingle, the more relaxed they’ll be,” said Quattlebaum, owner of Sarabeth Events in Keller, Texas. “This also adds a personal touch to their reception party.” Disc jockey Peter Merry says
more and more couples are asking him to help organize reception activities, such as contests to win table centerpieces or asking guests to serenade the bride and groom with songs that include the word love in the lyrics. Other couples are incorporating photo booths, where guests can have their pictures taken in silly hats and holding goofy props. With guests from different phases of their lives who may not know each other, brides and grooms want to provide opportunities to interact. “If you can break down any discomfort, guests will stay longer and have more fun on the dance floor,” said Merry, of Dallas, author of “The Best Wedding Reception Ever” (Sellers, 2010). DJ Jimmie Malone, who owns the company Exceptional Receptions in Binghamton, N.Y., encourages couples to include activities to set the tone and help balance the wedding’s “pomp and circumstance.” “It keeps guests engaged,” Malone said. Stephanie Goetz of Binghamton said the games at her 2011 wedding “helped break the ice. Between the different families and friends, the majority of peo-
“If you can break down any discomfort, guests will stay longer and have more fun on the dance floor.” PETER MERRY
ple didn’t know each other. It was a lot of fun.” Malone sometimes leads guests through an elaborate game in which they must pass a drink, a set of car keys and a dollar bill around the table. He keeps the crowd laughing and guessing about what the items mean. At the end, he announces that the person holding the money is “$1 richer” and that the holder of the drink must serve as the table’s bartender for the evening. The person with the car keys? Malone tells them jokingly, “Congratulations you just won a new car.” The centerpiece goes to the “generous person” who donated the $1. If you can get guests “laughing early in the night, it sets the tone for the rest of the reception,” he said. At other receptions, he has organized a version of “Let’s
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Make a Deal,” rewarding guests who can produce an expired driver’s license or the oldest penny in the room. Of course, the games may not work for all the guests. “It’s very easy for people to duck out,” Malone said. “If a table chooses not to play,” it’s not a problem. Most times, the games help create a sense of camaraderie at the table where guests may not know one another, he said. Along with trivia, the Hajovskys arranged for an instructor to teach line dances. Jordan Hajovsky loved watching her new friends interact with her college friends and family. “It got everybody on the dance floor,” she recalled of her March 30 wedding. Quattlebaum likened the trend to decades-old traditions such as stealing the groom’s shoes at an Indian wedding, or lifting the bride and groom in chairs while dancing at a Jewish wedding. “These are all examples of wedding guests coming together as strangers and doing something to unite each one of them by working together toward a common goal or game,” she said.
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Green-minded brides choosing fake flowers for cakes and more By Sarah Wolfe
A double beige bloom corsage/boutonniere made of recycled material. AP
Associated Press
ONLINE
Glynis Abapo knew just what she wanted her dream wedding cake to be: simple. Three or four tiers. A rich, white confection with white peonies and peony petals cascading down the middle. The problem? The handmade sugar flowers cost a fortune. Abapo found her answer in plastic flowers — specifically, the quirky yet elegant creations crafted by Tennessee artist Lauren Karnitz from materials that most people throw away: milk jugs, detergent bottles, straws, wires, medicine bottles, even sucker wrappers. The flowers were relatively affordable, says Abapo, 31, of Atlanta. And eco-friendly. “And it was just beautiful and just what I wanted,” she says. Karnitz, a 42-year-old oil painter, has been crafting roses, peonies, magnolias, sunflowers and other hybrid creations out of recycled materials for nearly two years. She stumbled into the wedding flower business as an experiment, but since working with Abapo, Karnitz has filled orders for cake flowers, bou-
www.laurenkarnitz.com www.theknot.com www.marthastewart.com/274777/ paper-flowers(hash)/241880 www.bluepetyl.com/ www.princesslasertron.com
quets, corsages and boutonnieres from about a dozen brides. “‘Can I have that?’ is now my signature phrase,” Karnitz says, laughing. “Meaning, can I have that peculiar piece of plastic you are about to toss?” Most of her clients are ecoconscious brides who like the idea of reusing materials for their flowers. Other green-minded brides are making or buying alternative flowers made from fabric, paper, even old brooches. Martha Stewart magazine has a tutorial on making paper flowers, while websites like The Blue Petyl offer dozens of combinations of brooches, buttons, pearls and more, from about $100 to $500. Bridal designer Princess Lasertron sells a felted flower kit See GREEN, Page 15
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Friday, February 22, 2013
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Boyfriend? Partner? Over-40 crowd struggles to name significant other By Laura Jofre Associated Press
There is no good way to refer to an older person’s live-in companion. And by older, I mean older than 30. This came to my attention in reading the obituary for the man who, after 18 years of living with my mother in a serious, committed, loving relationship, died at age 95. That’s no boyfriend. She’s no girlfriend. But neither was she his wife. She was referred to in the obituary as his “domestic partner.” “Domestic Partner” is, in some state and local governments, a legal designation that clarifies benefits to unmarried couples. In general usage, though, “partner” might imply either that they were gay or in business together, neither of which was true. “Partner” may be the least romantic way to describe your significant other — except for “significant other.” “Boyfriend,” meanwhile, sounds juvenile and flippant. “Companion” calls to mind a golden retriever, or a paid position. “Gentleman friend” is oldfashioned and unserious. Swain? Beau? Lover? Plus One? With divorce rates high, and people
surviving spouses for decades, older Americans are commonly dating and cohabiting without any practical terminology. “Of course we are in new territory on relationships — this is an ever-evolving reality, and the over-50, not-married couple needs their own moniker,” says Felice Shapiro, founder of the website Betterafter50.com. “The one I really like is ‘life partner.’ It’s hopeful.” Bob Levey, a Washington Post columnist who used to run a monthly contest to create new words, once asked for suggestions on this topic. The winner: “geramour.” Runners up included “main geeze” and “slowthario.” “There is simply no good term,” says Julie Rosen, 46, who lives in Philadelphia with Ira Fingles, their 7-year-old daughter and her 18-year-old son from a previous relationship. “‘Significant other’ is just too much of a mouthful, too p.c., serious,” she says. Rosen generally uses the term “partner,” but “it feels misleading or just incorrect given that (it) implies gay.” Fingles calls her his “faux wife.” It started as a joke, but, as she says, “if there was another better word, ‘faux wife’ may
“If you strip away all the religious and legal trappings of marriage, it continues to be a way to efficiently signal one’s commitment and seriousness to others.” NICK KING
have been a shorter-lived joke.” When will we get a workable term that is not a joke? Are all the terms uncomfortable because we are still uncomfortable with people living this way? Wendy Kline, a history professor at the University of Cincinnati who looks at women’s history and social movements, thinks so. The label issue “stems from the larger historical discomfort with crediting a woman with any sort of status outside of marriage,” she says. For both genders, a committed relationship outside of marriage begs “society’s understanding of what’s permanent and what’s not,” says Debbie Weiss, a clinical social worker in Louisville, Ky. Both members of the couple may be seen as unserious,
even subversive. Without a useful and comfortable expression, introductions are awkward, explanations to family members embarrassing. Partners need terms to communicate their own expectations, as well as convey the nature of their relationship to the world. Marriage “is a convenient social shorthand,” says Nick King, 42, unmarried to Jennifer Fishman, his live-in partner, with whom he has a daughter. “If you strip away all the religious and legal trappings of marriage, it continues to be a way to efficiently signal one’s commitment and seriousness to others.” There is less tension surrounding the issue in Montreal, where Nick and Jennifer, both American, are university professors. They prefer the term “partner,” but note that in Quebec, where such arrangements are common, “spouse” signifies the same thing. It is possible, in Montreal, anyway, to live together with your “spouse” and raise a family without a marriage contract or even comment. In France, Valerie Trierweiler is not married to her partner, President Francois Hollande. She See PARTNER, Page 15
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is widely reported to prefer the term “compagne” (companion), which is common usage in France. (In French, words have handy gender endings, so it’s clear whether your “companion” is male or female.) The French are widely reported to be indifferent to their arrangement.
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There is evidence that Americans are warming to the idea. Back in the late 1970s, the U.S. Census Bureau coined the phrase “Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters,” or POSSLQ (pronounced pah-sil-cue), perhaps the most unwieldy of all the terms. Census Bureau staff reported in 1999 that in the two decades since 1977, POSSLQ households increased from 1.5 per cent to 4.8 per cent of U.S. households. Statistics vary since then, but
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for bridal bouquets for $140. Traditional wedding flowers — everything from table centerpieces to the bride’s bouquet — typically run $2,000 to $2,500 — 8 percent to 10 percent of the average $25,000 affair, according to The Knot. Like any other wedding florist, Karnitz consults with brides beforehand to get a feel for their wedding theme and size, and what they want. Then she gets to work at her home in Knoxville using a trove of discarded junk. Slices of laundry detergent bottles become petals. Ribbon, electrical conduit and copper wire are transformed into stamens, pistils and stems. “The blooms are all built petal by petal, working in the round, so all sides are considered,” Karnitz says. “Each petal provides a surface for the next, and so on and so on.” Her collection of recycled refuse comes from friends, family and even complete strangers familiar with her craft. “It’s funny. Every time I go somewhere I get handed bags of things,” Karnitz says. “Like garbage bags of milk jugs or, here’s some little wires and stuff.” It takes up to two hours to make one corsage or boutonniere, depending on the difficulty. Providing flowers for a cake can take anywhere from 20 to 30 hours. Costs vary. Boutonnieres and corsages average $45 each, while cake flowers run anywhere from $150 to $450 per cake depending on cake size and design complex-
A mixed pansy corsage. AP
ity. Karnitz doesn’t dye or paint her flowers but keeps the colors of the recycled materials. Many of her designs burst with color, like bright yellow peony cake flowers made from cream and yellow milk jugs, or an azure blue corsage constructed with blue twist ties and accented by a tiny yellow bumble bee. “This is plastic as in, ‘Aha, that’s plastic!’, as opposed to looking like plastics or recycled art,” Karnitz says. For fall weddings, she incorporates an earthier, more neutral palate for creations like “pencil bloom” boutonnieres, small round blooms made from pencil shavings and tiny cut-up black straws anchored by a swirl of red plastic from bottles in the middle. Her Double Beige Bloom boutonniere — two small blossoms of light brown crinkled ribbon, straws and plastic bottle shreds — is tied together with a sheer, brown, taffeta ribbon. One of the best things about recycled wedding flowers is that they last. “You can have them forever,” Karnitz says.
the continuing trend is unmistakable. The Pew Research Center reported in 2010 that marriage
rates are at a record low, with barely half of adults hitched, and that cohabitation has grown more prevalent.