All my Desires

All My Desires Are Known to You

a series by the monks of st. benedict’s abbey

hope

A storm is raging. Where do we turn?

When we first saw the Holy Father standing alone in the center of St. Peter’s Square, preparing to deliver his Extraordinary Urbi et Orbi as the COVID-19 pandemic set in, it was impossible not to be plagued with anxiety – what does this mean for our Church? What does this mean for our world?

Even the disciples, in the very presence of Christ, were terrified of the storm they faced. But as Pope Francis spoke he reminded us that, though we, the modern disciples of Christ, are given to fear and terror by our very nature, we know where we can turn:

They had not stopped believing in [Jesus]; in fact, they called on him. But we see how they call on him: “Teacher, do you not care if we perish?” (v. 38). Do you not care: they think that Jesus is not interested in them, does not care about them. One of the things that hurts us and our families most when we hear it said is: “Do you not care about me?” It is a phrase that wounds and unleashes storms in our hearts. It would have shaken Jesus too. Because he, more than anyone, cares about us. Indeed, once they have called on him, he saves his disciples from their discouragement.

Indeed this pandemic has exposed us: it has exposed our need for the Sacraments – it has exposed our need for community – it has exposed our need for love.

In the Triduum, we enter fully into the mystery, the source and summit of our faith: the Last Supper, Passion, Death, and Resurrection of our Savior. While the whole of the Gospels (and indeed, all of scripture) inform and shape our lives, it is in these days, this annual reliving of Christ’s salvific act from which our Catholic faith flows, that we are renewed. In a time when we were cut off from the sacraments and one another, we were forced to reflect on all of the gifts bestowed upon us by that same Catholic faith.

With this in mind – where do we turn? In seeking an answer, we wanted to delve deeper, seeking to fill that need that had been exposed by this pandemic: what do I desire? There is one who knows, even when we do not: it is our Savior. It cannot be better stated than it was by St. Augustine, “you have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.”

Indeed we are restless, and this pandemic laid that bare – let us, then, seek to rest in him from whom all good things flow, the triune God who knows, as the title of our retreat is meant to echo, all of my desires. In the following pages our brothers offer their thoughts and advice on how we can fulfill our desires and overcome our fears – through Christ.

All of the retreat materials and videos are available free online at kansasmonks.org/holyweek2020 These articles are a jumping off point to all of the information that can be found there.