Suffolk Adoption Information Guide by jdsteed

Suffolk Adoption Information Guide You can’t change the “You can’t but change world, you the can world, but you can change change the world for the worldone for person. one person” Suffolk adopter Suffolk adopter

THANK Y U Thank you for taking the time to find out about adopting a Suffolk child. Adopting a child is a chance to let them grow up in a family that provides love, care and security that their birth family was not able to provide. If you feel you might be able to offer a loving and stable home to our children and want to find out more, please read on. If you have any questions when reading this guide, please get in touch with our team, we’re here to help and support you every step of the way. 2

We’re part of Adopt East. This is a regional adoption alliance which brings together the professionalism, skills and expertise of eight local authorities and two voluntary adoption agencies from across the East of England. The scale of Adopt East means that our adopters have access to a large number of children waiting for adoption and by working collaboratively, we are able to share best practice throughout the process.

Why Adopt with us?

Our aim is to secure loving families for Suffolk children.

We’re part of the Local Authority and as a result, we have the widest number of children in Suffolk.

You’ll be helping those in need of help within your local community.

You’ll get ongoing support and training around various subjects and skillsets as well as being provided with timely feedback and guidance surrounding the entire process.

You’ll be allocated an Adoption Worker who will support you throughout the process. We will ensure you have regular meetings with them too, to discuss your progress, queries or any worries.

We’re a not-forprofit organisation and accountable to the public and not to shareholders.

We’ll always look to place Suffolk children with our own adopters, or those within the Adopt East Alliance, before we look to use local or national agencies.

Our teams are highly experienced, professional and fully committed to helping you to become adoptive parents.

We’re by your side all the way! Adopt with us and you’ll be welcomed into a family of Suffolk adopters and invited to local events with other adoptive families near to you.

Did you know? Adoption agencies in England are often part of a Local Authority (LA), which is us, or part of regional adoption agencies, such as the Adopt East Alliance, or they are an independent Voluntary Adoption Agency (VAA). The main difference between LA’s and VAA’s is that LA’s (like us) and regional alliances we belong to, such as Adopt East, have the children in their care, and VAAs do not.

We’re Ofsted Outstanding Rated

“Adopting with Suffolk had a lot of benefits, we felt there was a lot of expertise in the team” Suffolk adopter 3

What is adoption? Adoption is the legal process by which parental responsibility for a child or young person is given to a new parent or parents. It’s a lifelong commitment to a child where you’re able to provide them with a permanent loving family home which is nurturing, safe, secure and where a child can thrive. At Suffolk Adoption Agency we need adopters who can provide a loving and stable home where a child can achieve their best, be happy and have parents who are there for them, who can stick by them and help and support them always.

“It’s love, it’s laughing, it’s hugs, it’s cuddles, it’s snuggles, it’s just being part of the world’s most amazing unit and its yours and so special” Suffolk adopter 4

Did you know? We run adoption recruitment events that are great for finding out more about adoption and speaking directly to an adoptive parent, as well as talking to our team. Just get in touch and we’ll book you a place on the next available session.

Who can adopt? The main things that all our approved adopters have in common are space in their lives for a child and a strong desire to provide them with a safe, loving and permanent family. There are many myths about who can and cannot be considered for adoption. Adoptive parents, just like other parents, come from a wide variety of backgrounds and live in a range of circumstances.

Myth Busting We welcome people from any religious or ethnic group, cultural, social backgrounds or any sexuality. Adopters can be single, married, in a civil partnership or cohabiting.

Essential Requirements

We welcome enquiries from people who are UK residents, or who are domiciled in Britain. To adopt in England you must be a legal resident in the UK, the Channel Islands or the Isle of Man, and have been so for at least 12 months. UK citizens living abroad cannot adopt a child from the UK. EU nationals can consider adopting a child in the UK so long as you and your partner have a fixed and permanent home in the UK and that you (and your partner, if you have one) have lived in the UK for at least 1 year.

You’ll need to be aged 21 or over. There’s no upper age limit as long as you are able to meet the physical and emotional demands of caring for your child’s needs, now and throughout their childhood.

You will need to be a UK resident and ‘habitually resident’ in the UK for at least 1 year.

You’ll be free of any criminal convictions involving children or vulnerable adults or violence. Although offences against children immediately prohibit a person from adopting a child, other convictions are considered on an individual basis. We will look at the circumstances around any offence and think with you about whether this is relevant to parenting.

Myth Busting We’re aware there are many myths surrounding adoption and that’s why we’re here to guide you through the adoption journey and answer any questions or queries you may have about the process and your ability to adopt. 7

Can I adopt if... We welcome people who already have …I already children and have a child/ the parenting experience that children you bring. We will help you with the differences around adoptive parenting. For adopters who are already parents, there will need to be an age gap of at least two years between the youngest child already in your family and your adopted child, at the time of application, (with the adopted child needing to be the youngest in the family).

You don’t need to own your own …I don’t home - as long own my as the building is home suitable for caring for a child, it does not matter if you own or rent it. You’ll need to show us that you have enough room to care for a child in a safe and secure environment.

If you’re single you’ll need to be able to demonstrate …I’m single that you have a close network of people around you who will support you practically and emotionally in your parenting. You will need to be able to show how you will be able to finance your living costs while you are looking after your child. If you’re in a relationship, you’ll need to be able to show that your relationship is established and resilient enough to parent a child.

…I’m LGBT+

What’s important is that your relationship is strong and supportive.

Your sexual orientation is not a factor in your application or suitability to adopt. We welcome adopters of any sexuality whether single or looking to adopt jointly with their partner.

You can adopt if you work full-time, …I’m in part-time, are employment unemployed or on a low income. We consider people who can offer a child a loving home regardless of their working or financial status. All children who are moving from one family to another will take time to feel safe and to trust their new family. Therefore you will need to be able to take adoption leave to be at home for a minimum of nine months, but ideally more, to help your child learn to trust that you will be there for them no matter what, before they have to manage child care or school.

Yes, you can. Having a disability does …I’m not prevent you disabled from becoming an adoptive parent, as long as you can meet the needs of the children waiting to be adopted.

Do you have a question not listed here? Simply get in touch and ask one of our team or join one of our recruitment events. 8

What to consider

Consider your own background and life experiences and what they can bring to help a child establish their identity and sense of belonging. Adoption can be physically and emotionally demanding and this is why age, health and lifestyle of applicants are all considered as part of the assessment process. Suffolk does not condone physical chastisement of any child. We ask adopters to commit to this. Often, the most successful adopters are those who show an ability to empathise with the child and understand their life story and experiences within their birth family. We need adopters who are patient and are able to cope with some uncertainty, have a flexible approach to life and know the value of seeking help and support from family, friends and professionals.

Areas to consider when thinking about adoption:

Anything you’d like to discuss? Then get in touch with our team… We’re happy to discuss any of these areas with you, so get in touch with us if you’re not sure if something may apply to you. 10

These are areas we’d like you to think about when considering adoption. They don’t rule you out from applying and these will be looked at in more detail as you go through the process.

Are you in a settled and stable lifestyle and able to commit to adoption?

Do you smoke? If so, are you committed to giving up?

Are you still undergoing fertility treatment? If so, this will need to have come to an end before you apply to adopt.

Are you adopting as a couple? If so, we ask that you have been living together for at least one year.

Are you financially stable?

Are you able to commit to using contraception?

Are you parents already to a child? If so, we ask that there is a two year age gap between your child and your adopted child, (your adopted child will be the youngest in the household).

Have you ever had a child taken into care? If so, this is an area we would need to discuss further.

Are you medically fit and able?

Are you able to take at least nine months adoption leave when a child is placed?

We follow the Adoption National Minimum Standards – find out more: www.education.gov.uk/ childrenandyoungpeople/ families/adoption

T: 01473 264800 | E: fosterandadopt@suffolk.gov.uk | www.suffolk.gov.uk/adoption Suffolk Adoption Agency

@suff_fostadopt

Steps to adoption

From the initial moment you first consider adoption, you have begun the adoption process and your journey begins to establish if it’s right for you. We’ve laid out the steps below.

When you get in Initial touch, one of our enquiry team will arrange a convenient time to have a more indepth conversation with you regarding adoption and your circumstances.

After the Registration information event, of interest if you feel ready to start the adoption process, you’ll be asked to complete a registration of interest form.

We’ll be able to give you advice and guidance on the next steps.

Once we’ve received your completed form, we’ll be in touch to advise on your next steps.

If you meet the Information minimum criteria and feel ready to event find out more, you’ll be invited to attend one of our mandatory adoption information events. These events are different to our recruitment events, as they’re more in depth and structured. During this event you will learn more about the adoption process and have the chance to meet an adopter and hear their story. There is also an opportunity to ask questions and understand the next steps.

Once your registration of Start of interest form has Stage One been accepted you will be allocated a Stage One worker. They will meet with you to complete a Stage One agreement. We will aim to complete this stage in 60 days and will need your help to achieve this. During this time checks and references will be undertaken. You will complete a medical, attend our preparation course, complete a workbook and undertake 12 hours formal childcare experience. At this stage we’ll undertake references and checks.

This stage takes about 120 days. During this stage you’ll be allocated an adoption Social Worker who will support you throughout the assessment, approval and matching process.

Start of Stage Two

During this time the social worker gets to know you and your family and spends time helping you think about what strengths you could bring to adoptive parenting. This will include conversations about your childhood, experience of parenting, history of relationships with family, friends and previous partners. How you reflect on your own life experiences is important so that you can help your child reflect on things that have happened to them in the past. These conversations will form the basis of the report which is presented to the Permanence Panel* (step 6). The Permanence Panel is a group of independent people who have relevant professional or personal experience of children, fostering or adoption. *

6 Adoption Panel

Once your assessment is complete, you’ll attend a Permanence Panel with your Social Worker.

The Permanence Panel is a group of independent people who will consider whether to recommend your approval as a prospective adopter. A senior manager in Children’s Services (known as the Agency Decision Maker) will make the final decision. If you are approved at panel, you can then be considered for matching with a child/children waiting for adoption.

Once your child has been placed with Adoption you for a minimum order / of 10 weeks, and celebration the professionals hearing involved are in agreement, you can send your application to the court for an adoption order.

Once your application has been heard and the court has granted the adoption order, you will be invited to the court for a celebration hearing.

Did you know? Our recruitment events are published on our website. They’re a great and informal way to hear from a member of our team about the adoption process and ask any questions you might have. Get in touch with us to book your place on the next event.

If the Agency Decision Maker does not recommend approval of your application, there is an Independent Review Mechanism (IRM) that can consider your individual case. You will be provided with more information about the IRM at the beginning of your assessment. We’ll provide continuing information and support to help applicants achieve the most appropriate outcome of their application.

Your adoption Social Worker will work with you to identify the Matching / Introductions most suitable child to become part of your family. Once a match has been found you can meet the child’s Social Worker and the child’s Foster Carer. At this stage we’ll all get together to talk about how you’ll be introduced to your child.

Early Permanence Early Permanence is used when a child’s care plan is adoption, or it is likely that they will be placed for adoption. The decision to place the child in an Early Permanence placement can be made before a child is born, but it can also be used for older children. Early Permanence carers are dually approved as foster carers and adopters. This means that the child would be fostered by you initially, and then adopted by you if the court decides that their care plan needs to be adoption. While you are fostering there would be an expectation that you support and facilitate the necessary contact during care proceedings. You will be supported by your Social Worker who will visit regularly. Early Permanence carers also receive specific additional training and preparation to ensure they are really well equipped for the role. The aim of Early Permanence is for children to receive permanence at the earliest opportunity. Research shows that babies placed for adoption before 12 months of age are more likely to develop a secure attachment to their adoptive parents.

When a child moves placement, this is experienced by them as a trauma. With Early Permanence the child remains with the same carer from birth, throughout their childhood, which means no changes of main carer following their birth, although this is always dependent on the outcome of the care proceedings in court. This stability is hugely beneficial for the child’s attachment and their overall development.

“As Early Permanence carers we wanted to give our little man the best start in life. If we had six months with him, that’s amazing, but if we had him for a lifetime, that is incredible.” Suffolk adopter

Post adoption support Support every step of the way. Suffolk Adoption Agency has a team dedicated to supporting you through your post adoption journey.

Adoption Ambassadors here to talk. Adoption Ambassadors are adoptive parents who have been through the process themselves and know what it’s like. They’re available for you to talk with and we can signpost you to helpful support groups as well. Our adoption support service also benefits from our work with external services who undertake counselling and support to birth families along with therapeutic services when needs are identified to the team.

The services you can access through the Adoption and Permanence Support Team include:

Signposting to support groups; specialist training or other appropriate services.

Support with direct and indirect contact arrangements with birth relatives. Usually in the form of a letterbox contact scheme for the exchange of information between adoptive families and birth families.

Therapeutic work with families.

Assessment of family support needs for children, adopters and other family members.

Ongoing future support provided by the Adopt East Alliance.

Access to a programme of training workshops.

Support and advice on parenting and school issues.

Life Storybook Work with children and their parents.

Newsletters and social events.

T: 01473 264800 | E: fosterandadopt@suffolk.gov.uk | www.suffolk.gov.uk/adoption Suffolk Adoption Agency

@suff_fostadopt

Contact with birth families and direct relatives Children have roots

A child’s life does not begin the day they are adopted. Keeping in touch with birth relatives can help young people understand about their roots. It can also sometimes make it easier to come to terms with their personal history, it can provide a sense of continuity in their lives and help the child to attach fully to their adoptive family. Research has shown that where contact works well the child grows up having a more realistic view of their birth relatives. It encourages greater openness about adoption and the adoptive placement is more likely to be successful.

Types of contact with birth family The Suffolk Adoption and Permanence Support Service recognises the importance of children and young people having appropriate contact with their birth families and other significant people. The service has processes in place for making, maintaining, monitoring and reviewing contact plans for adopted children. Such contact is entirely governed by the best interests of the children. Contact can vary from the annual exchange of written information to face-to-face contact with members of the birth family at intervals appropriate for the child.

Further information We have a range of dedicated resources available to you to explore when you’re ready to do so and have provided a few below. Get in touch with us for the latest recommended reading and useful resources if you’d like to find out more. New Family Social - www.newfamilysocial.org.uk Wherever you are in your adoption journey, New Family Social’s LGBT+ peer support network offers advice and support every step of the way.

Adopters on Adoption, by David Howe Collection of personal stories covering assessment, feelings about birth mothers, infertility and parenting insecure children.

An Adoption Diary, by Maria James Real life account of adoption from assessment to matching and parenthood.

The Adoption Experience Families who give children a Second Chance, by Ann Morris A collection of real-life stories through every stage of the adoption process from deciding adoption is the right option to the stories of adoptees brought up by adoptive parents.

Twenty Things Adopted Children Wish their Adoptive Parents Knew, by Sherrie Eldridge Written by a woman who was adopted herself, the book gives voice to adopted children’s unspoken concerns about some complex emotional issues.

First Steps in Parenting the Child Who Hurts - Tiddlers & Toddlers, by Caroline Archer This book offers practical, sensitive guidance through the areas of separation, loss and trauma in early childhood.

What Every Parent Needs to Know, by Margot Sunderland This book describes the remarkable effects of love, nurture and play on your child’s development.

Get in touch Find out what Suffolk Adoption Agency can offer you as an adopter

Tel: 01473 264800 Email: fosterandadopt@suffolk.gov.uk www.suffolk.gov.uk/adoption Suffolk Adoption Agency @suff_fostadopt

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