Here is the link to comma rules so you can read it when I refer to the rules below. I found 7 items that needed correcting. Please check the writing for these items, and make the needed corrections: 1. Misspelled words 2. Incomplete sentences 3. Run on sentences 4. Improper comma placement 5. Do you have at least 5 sentences per paragraph? 6. format for book and story titles 1/31/2012 What I liked and disliked about Diary of a Wimpy Kid:Cabin Fever by Jeff Kinney I like how Greg Heffly learns about life in so many different ways by exploring the world and its consequences. He thinks about life in an interesting manner. He wants to grow up real quickly. Although from his experiences, he learns that growing up is not as enjoyable as being a kid. I dislike how he is such a jerk to Rowley. He comes up with an idea, but makes Rowley do all the work. 2/2/2012 When the ant bit Concha she felt pain, shock and fear. She screamed as the ant dug into her skin. The scream was so loud, the other ants freaked out and bit her as well. Her legs stiffened up. Her friends took her to a hose to spray off the ants. The ant contest was so shockingly scary she never did the contest again. 2/6/2012 Alexander the Great’s First Battle with Darius III Alexander charged in to defeat Darius, but was stopped by one of Darius' soldiers. Three more guards charged at Alexander, and surrounded him. As the soldiers put their swords in a stabbing motion, four arrows came down and saved Alexander. Alexander once again charged at Darius when another guard got in his way. Just as Alexander drove a spear into the guard's chest, Darius fled, leaving no trace behind. 2/7/2012 Elephant Music I would pay money to hear the elephant music because it’s real music. The trainers work hard to train the elephants. I think it is real music because it has a beat, it has a nice tone, and it uses real instruments. Even though it has no words, it’s still great to listen to. 2/21/2012 The Emperor and the Flying Man The emperor was drinking his tea when his servant ran in, and told him a man was flying. It took them awhile to head outside to see the flying man. They finally went outside and saw the man. The emperor told his servant to call the flier down, so the servant did. The flying man came down and the emperor said to him, "What have you done?" "I flew through the air" replied the man. "What have you done?" asked the emperor again.
"I have already told you" replied the man. The emperor sentenced the man to his death. The man started to beg and to plead. After a few minutes the emperor said, "Off with his head". No I did not agree with the emperor's decision. All the flying man did was created a device to soar like the birds. He did not need to die. 2/28/2012 Jesus and the Pharisees Jesus got mad at the Pharisees because the Pharisees gave everyone a burden of work, while they didn't do anything to help. They shut the door to God's kingdom on people's faces. The Pharisees traveled from place to place. They taught their followers to be worse than they were. They weren’t helping people get closer to God. 3/7/2012 The Start of the Spanish American War People of America celebrated the inventions that made the USA great: incandescent light bulbs, faster printing presses, railroads, and better farming methods. Several days after a fair opened, the US got struck by the most horrifying financial downgrade. It was terrifying because 5-10 million people lost their jobs, and most businesses went bankrupt. During that time, Spain ruled over Cuba and depended on Cuba for their slave trades and sugar cane. Spain kept their rule over Cuba and the Philippines very loosely. Mahan was an author who became an advisor to the government. Mahan advised the government to upgrade the Navy, so they did. After the Navy was upgraded, they created the Panama Canal in the Pacific. Later, a rebellious Cuban man named Jose Marti wrote an offensive poem about Spain. He went to New York to raise funds and donations toward freeing Cuba from Spain. He told Americans about the troubles in Cuba. The newspapers made it worse with their yellow journalism. Cuba saw Jose Marti as a hero. In 1894 Marti burned down plantations. Later on, Weyler killed Marti. Even though Marti died he had a rebellion that lived on, until Weyler sent 300,000 Cubans to Concentration Camps. Two newspaper men named Hearst and Pulitzer wrote a headline about Weyler being a jerk. The sinking of the ship “The Maine” was the final straw. We should remember the “Maine”. It was blown up by Spanish bombers, which was a cause for the Spanish American war. The 3rd cause for the Spanish American war was that the US sent troops to Cuba and the Pacific.
3/12/2012 Making a Difference The other day I went on a bike ride in my neighborhood. As I passed by my friend’s house, I saw a starving dog. He was skin and bones. I immediately went back home to get some dry dog food. I took three scoops of dog food and placed it in a plastic bag. Then I rushed back to my friend’s yard. The dog was still there. I placed the dog food on the ground for him to enjoy. It took him awhile to trust me. I had to get down on my knees and whisper to him “it’s alright puppy. I won’t hurt you.” After he finished eating, I asked my friend if we could take him to the
dog shelter. His mom helped us with this. This was a very productive ride. I felt like I made a difference.
3/20/2012 Route 66 Because travel routes were limited, land workers decided to make a horse and wagon route. Route 66 was its name. 100 years before this highway was built, mountain men blazed a trail which the immigrant wagon trains used. The Gold Rush of 1849 created more routes that would later become part of Route 66. The building of railroad routes created roads that were easier and had access to water. When cars became popular, there were no highways. By the 1920's citizens were demanding national highways. In 1921, the government decided to start building US highways. Cyrus Avery, the father of route 66, developed a plan for the nation's highways. Route 66 went from Chicago to LA, and passed through his home state of Oklahoma. Route 66 would become the "Main Street of America". It was 2400 miles long. Lots of people sang about Route 66. 3/21/2012 Satchel Paige Paige finally made the pitching mound when Bob Lemon retired. He would eventually end up in the Baseball Hall Of Fame. Before Bob left, he told Satchel something along the lines of "Shut 'em down, Satchel." Whatever Bob told him, Paige said it in his head a thousand times. 20 odd years later, Satchel made it into the major leagues. Before he made it into the major leagues, Leroy Paige was carrying luggage for boarders on and off the train. One day, Leroy's friend came up with the name of Satchel. Satchel Paige could kill a flying bird with a rock. He said "Most people need shotguns to kill a flying bird. All I need is a rock." Before the major league, Satchel Paige played in the Negro League. The Negro League rented parks from the Major League teams until they realized they were too broke to rent the park space.
3/28/2012 Homographs I went back to the bat cave. As I went to the bat cave, I saw a baseball bat. It was cool outside. My dog Reggie is cool After the play you're supposed to bow. I went hunting and pulled back my bow. Hey can you open this can for me? I was born to live. And we're coming at you live! 4/2/2012 Baker's Bluejay Yarn by Mark Twain “Baker’s Bluejay Yarn” was a story written in a Southern dialect. If Twain had told the story in ordinary standard English I would've responded same way to it. The dialect just made the story interesting, but it did not change the story. It merely revealed something about the person
telling the story, and it created a setting for the story. The storyteller described the animals acting like people.