More than Love

IT TAKES MORE THAN LOVE

life after the wedding

Of course you should savor the warm glow of falling and being in love. That’s what getting married is all about! Enjoy the preparations for your wedding day, thrill over the dress and trousseau, and the flowers, music, attendants, reception and honeymoon.

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As you come together to form a new family, take the time to discuss why you are getting married, and begin building a productive, loving environment. Dreams of living happily in the partnership of marriage are never guaranteed, but hard work on your part can help make your marriage last.

Communication is essential for building and sustaining a good, healthy marriage both new and old alike. But even couples who don’t find it very easy to talk can learn to express their feelings, needs and ideas to each other, thereby increasing their prospects for a successful marriage.

Any sincere effort to communicate usually strengthens the relationship and lowers the chance of marital breakdown, so try to build your listening skills. Learn to handle your anger effectively, to talk about sex, and to provide positive feedback

Sometimes it’s hard for couples to talk about their relationship. These questions offer a useful guide to tackling tough issues as you begin your new life together: • What are your expectations of marriage? • Do you treat each other like equal partners? • What will be different simply because you get married? • What will be the same? • How do you make decisions as a couple? • What happens if you do not agree? • Do you argue fairly? • Do you resolve conflicts easily? • How do you handle finances? • How will you manage money? • Are there issues and behaviors you would never tolerate in the marriage? • Are you committed to each other, always looking out for each other’s best interests? • Do you talk to each other and feel you have been heard? • Are you satisfied with your emotional intimacy and physical intimacy? • How does your partner treat your family and friends? • Is your partner compassionate? • Is it likely that you both will be open to forgiving each other? • How open and comfortable is communication with each other? • Are you both in agreement about children?

If you do have children now, how will you negotiate childcare, household management and career? B