Nurturing Your Children 12 Quality Aspects of Nurturing Your Child
1.Communication. Parents must observe to give attention to the importance of communicating openly with their children. Youth love to express their opinions. Communication without judgment teaches them that what they have to say is important enough to listen to and observe. It teaches them that what they have to say is important enough to listen to, and observe. It also teaches them they can teach others, no matter how old they are. 2.Emotional Connection and Bonding. Parents must observe their children’s feelings, nature, and ask about their day and listen to them and their hearts, with an open mind. Showing caring gestures helps to keep children centered, feel loved, and helps them to not look for this kind of affection elsewhere. Emotional bonds can develop when children also take the time to note how they are feeling and why”. Parents often must be present to encourage this kind of conversation and processing. 3.Safety. The feeling of being safe and protected helps youth to know they can depend upon the adults in their lives. Parents need to pay particular attention to how to encourage youth to have safe friendships and relationships in their lives. They need to talk about developing boundaries – what’s acceptable and what is not, and WHY violence is unacceptable. Parents must set an initial standard so their children won’t settle for less. 4. Presence. The quality of being present in a child’s life produces volumes. A pat on the back, kisses, hugs, tucks in bed, being home after school, or developing a ritual of connection, helps youth when they face and endure hardship in life. It reminds youth who they can depend on talk to and share their issues with. 5.Touch & Affirmation. Touch and affirmation is crucial to showing love to youth. Be aware of how often you give and kind and loving word and touch to a young person, and encourage them tot connect with you in the same way. A handshake, high five, a smile, meaningful eye contact, can go miles in terms of communicating: “you are important in my life.” 6.Questioning. “Ask” your youth if you are you being a “good mom” and be prepared for the not- so-kind answers. Parents need reflective feedback, as well. If you don’t know if you are giving them the best advice, follow models and read books that encourage you to ask them more. Ask them is there anything that YOU could change as a parent that would help them to adjust to or manage their lives easier. Being a teenager isn’t easy! ( You remember!)
7.Acceptance. Young people need to be heard, validated and affirmed. Being “fair” with them encourages them to keep harmony and seek it out amongst their siblings and their peers. Acceptance communicates caring and validation. Young people know how to balance this factor in relationships. How do you measure acceptance and balance it within your home? Do your youth seek out validation elsewhere because others offer it better than you? 8.Finding Joy ; Keeping Joy. Listen to music with your kids and family,… enjoy the things they enjoy! Dance with them, and celebrate! Your kids need to have fun with you, too! Being “free” enough to involve them in ‘spontaneous fun’ can be a literal lifesaver. Young people need to learn fairly young how to alleviate stress and exercise. Teach your children to be spontaneous and enjoy life! 9.Developing Rituals. Teach rituals in your family as a way to teach what your family values the most. Rituals are a way to help with bonding, sacred moments, and appreciation of others – and of life. Young people need to learn the importance of honoring their own culture, other cultures, and how to embrace them without prejudice and bias. They need to know about celebrating character, honoring noble traits – even in their own families. 10.Importance of Hearing An Adult’s Voice in an Encouraging Fashion. When a young person hears what is appreciated most about them in a respected adult, mother’s AND a father’s voice – it offers them the ability to also model it in identical forms with their peers and find expression in their own futures as adults. Creative conversation around being valued helps youth find their passion, express it well – and feel comfortable in finding their own voice in life. 11.Having Relationships with Your Kid’s Friends Expose yourself to your kid’s friends and why they are their friends. Ask them why are they friends. (Would they be your friends if you were their age?) Encourage discussion about what makes a “good friend”. What stands out about the friendships, and how do they cultivate them, and make them long-lasting? Invite their friends to special outings and events. 12.Take Pride in Your Children Take the time to “brag” on your children’s personal successes, and create them- whether they are in or out of school. They need to be encourages as ‘good, examples’ to their peers and also to their siblings. They must learn and be encouraged how to appreciate one another.
Copyright 2004 -Jennifer R. Owens, MSW – Family Development Specialist- This template was created after a conference session and interview with parents in the field of social work and family community workers. Jennifer is an author, therapist and blogger at www.red-sea-courage.com