Why Are You Talking?

Why Are You Talking?

IS IT NOT TO GET SOMETHING?

Let's pretend your 10-year-old says, 'Mom I'm hungry.' Take a moment to think about what your 10-year-old was really "saying." I'm hungry could mean, 'I want to eat some food and stop the hunger pains in my stomach,' it could mean 'Will you fix me something to eat?' or even, 'Can I have something to eat?'

Or, let's say instead that you are 20 and you call up your friend and ask her, 'What are you doing tonight?' Think about this question, what are you communicating? You could be inquiring because you want to get together, maybe you need her to pick you up or maybe you don't need anything at all, you just wanted to talk and you asked what she was doing?

Confusing, isn't it? Communication can be tough, especially when you throw different people, emotions, language barriers, and personalities into it.

What I would like to teach you is a time tested technique that I have used for decades to make sure that I have clearly communicated how I feel and what I want from the other person. I do this by helping you and the other person you're having a conversation with.

As we move through this together, try to commit to these two truths: how I feel matters and those I interact with matter too! Possibly, a change in perspective can allow you and those you interact with to feel validated and heard.

"How can you expect others to give you what you want when you don't even know what you want?"- Jennifer Tracy