Letters to Nathaniel 2015 by Jeremy Hill by Jeremy Hill

LETTERS TO NATHANIEL 2015 1

PREFACE

Your name is Nathaniel Hill, and you are so very special as a 'child of the universe'. As your dad, I have hopes and dreams galore for you. By the time you get to read this book, hopefully I will still be around to talk to you about what has been recorded. It is written entirely for your benefit, but it is possible other influences will make it public property one day. I also should make it very clear that this book is not intended to criticise anyone, or cause upset or harm to any individual or group of people. I have deliberately avoided upsetting or criticising your mother, or any members of her family. What they choose to do will undoubtedly come out in court, as will the truth behind claims and counterclaims. Additionally, the sensitivity of Filipinos has been taken into account, and if anyone chooses to take any part of this book and apply it to themselves, then they also should consider whether they have read the contents accurately, or whether, as will more likely be the case, they have simply misunderstood what has been written.

More importantly, they will at some time, have to account for ant atone for their sins to God. You are my son, my only son, and that makes you even more special to me. You are a very precious gift, sent by God. Please remember that. Love your mother. Remember me please.

JEREMY AGED 3. HALL GREEN HOUSE

WHO AM I?

My dear Nathaniel. This series of letters, and ultimately a complete book, are being written to you as a true expression of my love to you, and in time, when you are a little older, maybe you will read them and be able to understand the underlying truth about what has happened between your mother and I, and regrettably how it has affected you.

NATHANIEL AGED 7 As I write this letter I am reminded that you are only just turned 9. You are just so bright, and smart, I am most times in awe of who you are now, and what you might achieve throughout your adult life. You are bright, quick-witted, can easily problem solve tasks, and you have a superb memory. You can, and I am sure will, go a long way in your life. Did you know that at exactly your age I was sent away from home to 5

live at boarding school? I just can't imagine ever doing such a thing with you. It was extraordinary that my own parents were encouraged that it would be best for a young boy's future. Here's a funny story for you to think about. When I was only just turned 9 years old I was sent to Bilton Grange Boarding School, near Rugby in England. Rugby is the place where a senior schoolboy was playing school soccer, and who decided dribbling the ball was slow and boring. So he picked up the ball and ran with it to score a goal. That was the very beginning of what is now known as Rugby Football. The ball, of course, has been modified to an oval shape, and the game should never be confused with gridiron football played in the US. Before going to Preparatory school in 1959, I kept two pet white mice in a cage in my bedroom. I Ioved these mice, and to me they were human. They were called Pinky and Perky. It wasn't planned of course, but one of these mice must have been a girl, and of course along came lots of baby Pinky and Perky mice. This was a critical time for the mice, and of course, it was time for me to go to boarding school. After about a month there, I received a letter from my mother to tell me that Pinky and Perky had escaped, with all the babies, and they had got into 6

the coal room at the back of the house. They had all turned black because of all the coal dust, and so they couldn't be found. I was, of course very upset to discover this news, and so demanded, at age nine! to talk to the headmaster. I explained in great detail that Pinky and Perky were lost, and they MUST be found, as they were in grave danger, possibly from a local cat. I was allowed to phone my mum, and give her very detailed instructions on what to do to catch all these white....or by now, black, mice, and how to wash them clean and get them back into their cages. The headmaster listening to my instructions must have been very amused by all the fuss and concern of a little boy for his lost mice, but he managed to keep a straight face throughout the ordeal on the phone. Many, many years later my mum confided in me. It was, of course, she who had released all the mice, and not thinking about it she let them go in the coal cellar. Many generations of white, or black, as you wish, mice must have come and gone via that coal cellar over the years, and I had never realised. Sometimes, when I was home on holiday from school I would see a mouse darting in or out of the coal cellar, and I would ask my mum if I could catch it and keep it in my room. 7

Undoubtedly shocked at the horrible thought, she would smile at me and change the subject.

JEREMY AND NATHANIEL

You were born on 11th July 2006, in Westmead Private Hospital, Sydney, Australia. Your mum, Conchita is a Filipina. She was born in May 1982 in Dipolog, Mindanao. She came from a poor family with social problems, but she was smart, and just needed a chance to shine in life. In marrying your mum on 18th April 2004 I gave her my commitment that I would do my best to help 8

her discover herself, and succeed in life. I was born in Yorkshire, England in 1950 on the 5th anniversary of Armistice Day, which marked the final day of the war with Japan in the Pacific. For Filipinos this is a significant day indeed. For them, it finally ended the atrocities committed by the Japanese on a peace loving nation still struggling to establish its own identity in a fast changing world. The US Army general, General Macarthur famously declared to his people that he "will return" and give them their earned right to freedom. A lot of brave soldiers died in the struggle to achieve that promise. Most of them are buried and honoured in the American War Cemetery in Manila. As I write this 1st letter to you, I am very aware that next week marks the 70th anniversary of that historic time.

VANESSA ON HER 17TH BIRTHDAY And......well, I will be 65 years old. Does that surprise you to know? I am your dad, but I am old enough to be your grandad. Are you worried by such a thing as age? Well, here's a strange thing. Do you know that you have 2 sisters? Their names are Vanessa, and she was born in 1977, and she is married with 6 little children already; and then there is Kathleen, who was born in 1980. She is mildly autistic, is single, and still lives with her mother near Newcastle, north 10

of Sydney. Vanessa and Kathleen are your blood sisters. You therefore are uncle to six nephews and nieces. The oldest is actually a little older than you. Isn't that strange? When I was your age I loved reading a series of books, the Arthur Ransome series "Amazons and Swallows". One of the characters in it had a nephew older than himself. At the time I thought that very odd too, in fact I do think that I really didn't believe it at all. You look very much like Vanessa, and she is also very smart, but all she really ever wanted to do was to have a family of her own. And now she does. I was fortunate enough to visit them all late last year. They are all beautifully behaved, and delightful. Did I tell you that Vanessa graduated from Sydney University with a BSc.? She majored in genetic science, and I imagine her mathematical talents led her in that direction. When I asked her, as loving dads always will, if she had plans for a career in DNA research or some allied field, she just gave me her withering smile......"dad, it's like watching paint dry on the wall". So I had been clearly told to stay out of her academic efforts. Anyway, she landed herself, with no assistance from her mum and dad, an absolutely wonderful job as a scientist making by hand, bionic ear implants for Cochlear, the world leader in its field. She would spend hours every 11

day soldering miniature components together under an electron microscope. She stayed there for 5 years, until she married in 2004, and I think she was highly regarded by her bosses, who regularly asked her to train new staff. She also made by hand the first two prototype bionic implants for paraplegics. These were used in trials in the US, and I believe were successfully implanted into the first two patients in the world.

RHONDA AGED 20

Well, you were born in circumstances a little unusual, but becoming widely accepted. After 12

Vanessa and Kathleen were born, I had what is called a vasectomy, so that my 1st wife, Rhonda, would no longer need to take birth control medication. After our divorce, which was very amicable and understood between us, and I married your own mother, we had many conversations about having children together. She, of course, was a young woman with every right to expect and believe in the principle of children and family. After all, Filipino culture and its social values promote and reflect strong family ties and values.

CONCHITA AND NATHANIEL 2007

I had a strong opinion that I should support and actively encourage Conchita to participate in, and experience all the good and the not so good life changing events that giving birth to a child would 13

bring. While I gave Conchita my absolute support and enthusiastic encouragement, I held some fears about my age. As much as your mother resented our age difference, and this became a major problem for her ten years later, I worried about my being alive to witness and share in a child's joy at graduation and marriage. By then I would be an old man. My own dad had died suddenly at age 50, so what would that possibly mean to any future child of mine? Your mother and I decided that we wanted to share the love and joy of bringing a child into the world. To achieve this we joined an In Vitro fertilisation programme. This, in simple terms meant that I had some active sperm surgically removed from my testicles, and at the exact same moment your mum had some of her eggs collected by surgical means. These eggs and sperm were introduced to each other under laboratory conditions, and after 5 days the best and strongest fertilised egg was put back into your mum's womb. That egg, of course, was you.

CONCHITA 2004 AGED 22 From the very beginning of your existence inside your mum's tummy, we called you "B". You started out as a little dot on the ultrasound machine, and rapidly you grew. I believe, and without a DNA test, of course I cannot prove my theory, that you are made up of exactly equal parts of the DNA of us both. You look exactly like both of us. You are handsome, like both of us. You are intelligent, like both of us. And B you are loved desperately, by both of us. Nine months later to the exact day, you arrived contentedly, and quietly, into this world. Your mum had chosen to wait for your arrival lying in a bath tub of warm water. I sponged her back and shoulders with a wet cloth to keep her calm. Your 15

mum of course was scared, but she was very brave. You were born naturally, a remarkable achievement, considering how tiny your mum is. I was also pretty apprehensive. I worried that your mum might need an emergency caesarean at the last moment, something that might put both your lives in danger. Anyway, there was no need to worry. You were OK, and remarkably contented, and you just snuggled onto your mum's breast. I stayed with you both in the hospital, and on the third day we all went home. Oh, by the way, on the second day you were circumcised by the surgeon at the hospital. You hardly even cried, you were so brave a boy already. The idea of having you circumcised in the traditional filipino way frankly appalled me. It is such a barbaric rite of passage into supposed manhood, frankly it needs to be stopped. Under traditional Philippine customs, you could well be having this done to you right now. Ugh! By the time you were 2 weeks old you already owned three passports. You were born in Australia, so by birth-right you are Australian. Because I was born in the UK, as my child, you have the right to claim UK citizenship. Curiously, and very unfairly, your mother can only claim UK citizenship if we all go and live there for two 16

years. Lastly, and by no means least, because your mum is a filipina, then you are entitled to a Philippine passport. Not many little boys ever have three passports. One day, you may well be able to take advantage of this, by being able to live and work almost anywhere in the world without requiring visas. That could prove to be a unique and valuable resource for you, providing you with amazing opportunities. By the time you were two months old your mum and I decided we would go and live in our newly built house in Dumaguete, Philippines. We had chosen to build a house for my impending retirement, and as a form of security for you and your mum, should anything ever happen to me. And that is how it should be. It is a man's job, as head of the family, to do his best to provide for their needs. The house I built was based on an Australian design. It is large, and comfortable. While the land the house was built on was not large, it was certainly large enough for you to play and run around in. Later on, we built a swimming pool and a super play house and swings just for you.

NATHANIEL AND CLASSMATES Your mum was very determined to live to a high standard. As hard as I tried, she never really understood the need in this world to be able to stand on your own two feet if need be. I was very gently trying to instil in her mind an appreciation that people are not owed a living. They need to be able to provide for themselves and their family, no matter in how small a way that might be. She wanted to be able to relax. After all, at age 25, if I was going to retire, then so should she. She felt lonely in the big house, so we had maids. They came and went. She was never really satisfied. Then she started using family members as maids and housekeepers. But, she never learned that if you are going to pay people to work for you, then family must come second. 18

They are there to work. Making her relatives who worked and lived with us feel that they were our equals was doomed to disaster. It was not long before we discovered that we felt like the house was actually theirs, and not ours any more. This caused friction between us. I made many suggestions that perhaps we could manage without them, she argued that if she did housework, then she felt like she was a maid, and she hated that idea. We came to Dumaguete with not enough cash to get us to a time when I could receive a regular pension from the Australian government. At the same time, they were constantly changing the rules for qualifying for the pension. There were constant changes, which meant that we lacked certainty about money. Your mum found it very hard to cope with that, and at the same time I was asking her to accept that now we were living in Dumaguete, then my income was heavily reduced. She saw this drop in living standards as a threat, and fought against it. She also struggled to rationalise that I could not afford to feed 10 people every day with no income coming in. Even though the cost of food is comparatively cheap in Dumaguete, 10 people cost three times more than three people. It's simple mathematics. 19

So, after two years I suggested to your mum that we go and try living in China for a while. I could teach English to college students, and you could go to a local school and learn Mandarin. This was certainly a challenge for me, as I had never taught university students before. In fact really, I had no teaching experience at all. Knowing the theory and being an academic administrator was one thing, but face to face teaching was another thing all together. Your mum had different challenges and pressures to deal with, and perhaps it was not entirely fair of me to expect her to adapt as easily I hoped you and I might do. Moving to another country and be able to adapt to a new loving and working environment would not be easy. If it was going to be hard for me, then how much harder for your mum?

GANGHOU CHINA WITH STUDENTS

The Chinese students of course fell in love with you immediately. They had never seen at close hand a child as beautiful and as delightful as you. Everywhere we went, there were crowds of people wanting to greet you. You were three years old, and it must have been fun. After a few months your mum was invited to teach preschool kids English. She was stunning in the way she managed to achieve this. Initially she lacked confidence, which is understandable, but she did a wonderful job. She taught the kids, their mothers, and the grandmothers by singing and dancing. Her theme, with my encouragement, was famous English nursery rhymes. The kids loved the hands on approach and your mum became like the "pied piper". After a year living and working in a small city we transferred to Shanghai, and my new job was to teach English to students planning to take advantage of a Masters degree in Business in Australia, Canada and England. Living in a huge city like Shanghai took your mum and I by surprise. Even I, as well travelled as I was, felt very small and insignificant. Additionally, I was not comfortable with some of the business practices being adopted on campus by the owners and administrators. After about six months we 21

left China and returned to Dumaguete. It was at this time we sold our little investment house next door, and that gave us the money to go back and live in Sydney again. One significant event that took place in Shanghai. We had only been there a few days, and one of the requirements of the Chinese government was for all foreigners to re-register themselves when they move to another city. My employers assigned a secretary to help us do this, and we were required also to update our medical examinations, visas, and residency status. On the way, your mum wanted to visit a department store and look at the latest mobile phones. Well, we did this, and the mobile phone store was 2 levels up in a big department store. After looking for a while, we decided to get our paperwork completed, and we all went outside to the street. For some reason I can't remember your mum went in one direction, and I went in another direction with the secretary. After a while you mum came to me very upset, and said "where's B?" We had both thought that you were with the other, and at some point your mum realised that maybe you weren't with either of us. Trying very hard not to panic, I suggested that we should go back to where we both knew you were 22

definitely with us - that was the mobile phone store. Of course, by the time we arrived, you were not there, but a store guard told me that he had definately seen you and you were on your own going down the escalator headed towards the entrance to the store. After some time rushing up and down escalators, we spotted you holding the hand of another security guard, and you came running to us with a very happy look on your face. It turned out that entirely on your own, you had found your way back to the mobile phone store, and had planned to look for us there. That, of course, was a very smart thing for you to do. Afterwards we were told that what had happened was really very dangerous, and that you could have easily been kidnapped, never to be found again. China, after all, is a very big country, and you would have been very desirable to a family with no children, especially as a boy. It would have been very easy for you to disappear, never to be seen again. But life brings many surprises, and lots of twists and turns on our journey through life. When I was a young man I had a significant work accident and damaged my back. After thirty years of trying to cope with the pain I had reached a point when I needed help to stand or sit down. 23

Do you remember staying for a while with Juergen? He was a very sweet old man, and he helped us a lot in re-establishing ourselves in Sydney. He lives alone south of Wollongong now. When you were five years old you started Primary School at Girraween Catholic School. I remember you being very advanced, and the teachers really struggled with the way you learned so quickly. Around this time I had my back surgery. Do you remember me in the hospital in Liverpool, and then my recovery at Westmead Rehabilitation Centre? That was a difficult time for me, but with support from you and mum I slowly recovered. A little while after, your mum got a job as cashier at Woolworths, Merrylands. I used to try to support her by going and having lunch with her. Shortly after, just you and I went to Dumaguete for 10 weeks. Your mum was not allowed to come with us, because of her contract with Woolworths. That was when you got bitten by the neighbour's pet monkey. Do you know, I was shocked, and so very upset that you could get hurt like that. The rabies injections you had to have really scared you, and there was nothing I could do to protect you. I was really frightened, and I could understand just how scared your mum was also, being unable even to 24

be with us at that time. Only a few days later, we were able to fly back to Sydney together and be with your mum again, and we were all so very happy that Dr Ali checked you out and said you were no longer in the danger period, so you didn't need any more injections. My darling boy. I really do miss you so very badly. I think about you and pray for you every day. You are always in my thoughts. In this tough time, please think about me, but take special care of your mum. She also needs you during her time of struggle, so please always be there for her. I will ask the Court if you can be shown this letter. I hope they will allow you to read it. Will all my love.......dad

Letters to Nathaniel 2. Dad's school years 25

Hello, B. In this letter I will try to explain to you some of the things that stay in my mind, and I think you may find interesting. I was born in England on 3rd September 1950, not so long after World War 2 had ended. This date should also be significant for a boy such as you, with maternal ties directly to the Philippines. This was only five years after Japan officially surrendered and gave up the war in the Pacific. With enormous help from America, as well as from countries such as Australia and New Zealand, the Philippines were liberated from a stranglehold by the Japanese Imperial Army, which was very determined to rule all of Asia, including Australia and China. History books will tell you that they almost succeeded. They captured Singapore, build the Burma railway through Burma, stormed through Papua New Guinea, and bombed Darwin, in Australia. Adolph Hitler was trying to exterminate the Jews in Europe, and Emperor Hirohito was intent on owning just about everything else in the "Orient" as it was called then.

HORACE EDGAR â&#x20AC;&#x153;BOBâ&#x20AC;? HILL AGED 18?

My dad grew up in Birmingham, an industrial city in the middle of England. His parents died when he was about your age now, and he was raised by his brothers and sisters. At 17 he won a scholarship to university, but the war was on, and 27

like all his class mates he chose instead to "go to war" against Nazi Germany. He joined the Royal Airforce and trained as a navigator gunner on Blenheim bombers. He literally sat on top of the fuel tanks in the plane and was supposed to shoot down enemy planes as they attacked his bomber. He was sent to Egypt to defend the oil fields, and then was posted to the small island of Crete in the Mediterranean Sea. He was soon after captured, on the ground, when the Germans invaded Crete in what is now called the "battle for Crete". From there he was sent to Germany and he spent four years in a prison camp. Bob got his nickname from his curly hair. He used to be called "Bubbles" by his sisters. I had the same curly hair when I was very little. Your hair is similar. When your hair is cut short it looks Filipino. When it grows long like you have it now, it becomes more like my hair. Bob met my mum Patricia Marritt at a military dance soon after the war ended, and all surviving servicemen were returned by the shipload to England. Pat, as she was known during my childhood years, grew up in very difficult circumstances. Her father was a blacksmith, and he married a pretty fifteen year old local girl Charlotte Precious from nearby Hornsea in Yorkshire, and they had five children. 28

Times were very hard and they could not feed all the children, so Pat and one of her sisters were sent to a maiden aunt to be cared for. That aunt was called Aunt Olive. She lived with her brother who was gassed in World War 1 and had his lungs damaged. She lived in a tiny house way in the country in East Yorkshire that happened to be owned by Queen Elizabeth. I loved family visits to Aunt Olive. She never cut her hair, and wore it always "up", and she lived to 106, which is quite something.

A YOUNG AUNT OLIVE 29

After the dance, Bob couldn't remember what Pat looked like, so he had to ask his friends to reintroduce them the next day. Well, I guess some magic happened, fairy dust got spread around, and soon after they were married, and went to Birmingham to set up their new home together. Bob went into business, and in his quiet way became very successful as an industrial chemist specialising in electroplating. Pat had trained to be a nurse, and was dux of her class, so she must have been very smart, but she never practiced as a nurse. In those days married women stayed at home to raise the children while the men worked. After a year, my sister Stephanie was born. Bob was so excited, he raced to the registry office and mis-spelt her middle name Clair. Four year later I was born. I don't think Pat had planned to have me join the family just then, but once I had arrived, there was no going back. I was taken to Yorkshire to be born. An aunt living there was a mid-wife, so it was convenient. At the same time, being born in Yorkshire bestowed on me the right to play cricket for the County of Yorkshire. Alas, my skills in cricket did not meet the necessary standard to pass the selection board.

PAT WITH JEREMY Shortly afterwards I was christened at Withernsea Church of England church. For reasons not known, the priest carried me up to the main altar, facing the magnificent ancient Rood Screen, and held me up high and offered me as a blessing towards God. Pat always believed this was a sign for something in the future, but I think it was just a coincidence and nothing more. When I was 31

eighteen months old Pat realised I was seriously ill and took me to the family doctor, who announced I just had constipation. Pat insisted........and pestered the doctor, who didn't appreciate being challenged by a junior nurse. Eventually, I was admitted as an emergency to hospital, and they discovered I had an intersucception, which was instantly life threatening. After major emergency surgery my intestine was repaired and I was taken home to recover. At five years old I had an operation to repair a hernia, but that was minor in comparison.

JEREMY WITYH CURLS

JEREMY AGED 9 STARTING AT BILTON GRANGE SCHOOL When I was nine Bob's partner in business strongly urged my parents to send me to a private English boarding school. Ian Heath had come from a wealthy English family, and it was traditional to send sons to Preparatory school, followed by "Public" school, which really isn't public at all, in fact quite the opposite. I guess my parents saw this as some kind of opportunity to 34

establish my future, but in fact it was quite the opposite. Imagine at age nine, being taken away from your parents and being forced to live at school with 160 other little boys. The effect this environment had on me was disastrous. I started wetting the bed uncontrollably at night, got into trouble with the teachers, and my school work nose-dived. But going back two years, Pat discovered a lump in one of her breasts, when I was seven and Stephanie eleven. She immediately has a mastectomy to remove one breast and her lymph nodes. In those days (1957), women mostly died, but I guess the nurses training yet again saved the day, and even though her recovery was very slow, she did survive to live until 56. I was sent away to stay with Bob’s partner Bill Bradley for a few weeks, and when I came back home I can still remember Pat sitting up in bed “painted like a red indian” all over her chest area. Pat and Bob went to Switzerland for a little while to help Pat’s recovery, but the operation left her quite weak on the left side. We had a golden retriever dog, and he had to be given away to friends, as she was unable to control him. Cracker went to live on a chicken farm at the Winter’s house, and loved his

new lave, and sired many, many puppies, according to local legend. At twelve I was moved up to a quite well known Public school called Uppingham, in a County called in those days Rutland. This was a town that survived by being surrounded by the school of 600 boys plus staff and workers. The school was boys only, but that has changed now, and consisted of 12 "houses" run by a housemaster. This was where we ate, studied, slept, and played. The 50 boys in my house, Constables, ranged from 12 to 18. After that, the brightest boys went to university. Our classes were held in the main school buildings in the centre of town. My housemaster was Gordon Braddy. He was made housemaster of Constables the term I also started there as a 12 year old. Gordon was an intellectual who loved poetry, music, and acting. Soon after, he married a famous Norwegian actress whose dad was also a very famous orchestra conductor. By the time I was 14 I had a mad crush. She was, at least to me, very beautiful. She used to sit with the boys in the dining hall at lunch time every day. There was always a mad dash to be able to sit next to Lisa Fieldstad, as you can guess! It was traditional at Uppingham for every boy to have his own 36

independent "study" room. This room was about 2 metres by 1.5 metres in size, and it was a boy's private castle. Nobody could enter without knocking, not even the housemaster. One needed to be invited to come inside. This was also the place where boys would spend 2-3 hours every evening studying, as well as a lot of time on weekends, when not playing sport. I became very good at hockey and cross country running, winning the senior house cup at only 15. It was during this time that Bob had an accident at work. He was standing on a beam placed across an open tank of settling cyanide and other heavy metals about 4 metres wide, and 2 metres deep, which was waste liquid from the electroplating factory he ran. He was dipping a sample to take to his laboratory to test, and he slipped and fell in. There was nobody around, so somehow he got out and drove himself home and jumped into a bath tub of water to clean himself. His gold watch melted, his hair fell out, and goodness knows what damage he did to himself. Nobody really knows, but he was certainly very lucky to survive. My time at Uppingham was not inspiring or glamorous. I tried my best, in my own way, and at the same time I was going through puberty. 37

Nothing went right for me. At fifteen I had failed all my exams, and Pat and Bob finally saw the truth and I left school to join Bob in business in Birmingham. In the meantime, my sister Stephanie had become highly accredited at school, becoming school captain of tennis, and netball, and winning a place at St. Mary's Hospital, in London. She was beginning her medical training to become a doctor. In the meantime I was doing well avoiding anything academic. Instead of studying in my private "study" I would jump on my bicycle and roam around the countryside chasing and collecting butterflies. This soon became my main hobby, and it is the reason we had such a wonderful butterfly collection at our house in Dumaguete. I also learned to follow my dad's lead and was a keen photographer. In those days most of my photographs were in black and white, and I became expert in developing and printing my photos. Bob had made his own printing enlarger, and we used to turn the bathroom at home into a darkroom for printing. When photography turned from black and white to full colour, prints were really expensive, so Bob and I used to make 35mm slides which we would mount into frames, and then project them onto a 38

screen in the lounge room at home. Pat was very interested in exploring different countries in Europe, so we would spend Bob's two week annual holiday at a different country every August. We would take many photos as we travelled, and then Pat would invite all the neighbours around to the house for an evening "slide show". It must have driven them all nearly mad with boredom and jealousy, but then this is what people did to entertain their friends in the 1960s. Barbecues and discos were unheard of, and anyway they would have been considered "American", and not socially acceptable in nice old fashioned England. England of course was changing. After the horrors of two World Wars, social values and standards in England rapidly changed, mostly for the better. A lot of old sub-standard houses, especially in London, were considered unfit for people to live in, and new housing estates started being built. When I was eight we moved from an old house in Hall Green, Birmingham, to a brand new one at 15 Kempson Avenue, Sutton Coldfield, a somewhat better living environment. Pat and Bob were very proud of that house. Bob landscaped the back garden, and Pat discovered a love for roses. She 39

developed a very special, and quite wonderful garden with around 200 rose bushes of all varieties and colours. She studied and knew all the names, and it was traditional every spring to prune all those bushes. This must have been a special time of the year for her, because it would have signalled to her the promise of summer, so necessary for the English. Harsh times in war, harsh winters, shortages of food and rationing in the war years. As a nursing student in the war years in Hull, Yorkshire she and her class mates would crave sweet foods, so they used to "steal" from time to time the government allocation of condensed milk meant for newborn babies. When I went home in the school holidays Pat would always have a bar or two of Cadburys chocolate, and sometimes Toblerone by her fireside chair. How she loved sitting on cold winter afternoons in front of that fire, reading one of the books she borrowed every week from the local town library. She must have been one of the most regular visitors. I never noticed such things. They were just "normal" to me. But, she would always take me with her, and it was Pat who introduced me to the love of reading books, at a very early age. Books require imagination, and they inspire the reader to see, imagine, and visit places of all 40

kinds in the mind. It is a very personal experience you enjoy. Reading is not just, as many believe, a requirement some school teachers dreamed up to help little children to learn to read. Reading books, and it takes some careful mentoring from an adult when you are just starting the journey of discovery, opens up the mind. I know that right now you are not being encouraged to read. I really do urge you to try to take charge of this for yourself. Start by reading some easy boys adventure books. Very soon the Harry Potter series may interest you and excite you. Once you discover just what it is that interests you, you will never look back, I promise you. Reading can be exciting, adventurous, emotional, romantic, scary, and a pathway into a wonderland of adventure. Try reading Alice in Wonderland. It is not a girl's book at all. It is a really deep adventure story full of surprises. Did you know Alice really was real? She was the daughter of the Dean of Christchurch College in Oxford. She used to get her uncle to tell her stories on hot summer afternoons sitting under a huge tree in the garden. Alice was real. The tree is real...it is still there. Was the rabbit real, Nathaniel? Use your imagination. What do you think? Tell me, please.

I also loved the Biggles adventure series about a pilot in the Spanish Civil War, and I read the entire Arthur Ransome series "Swallows and Amazons". Did you now that Vanessa has those books now, and they are her children's favourite books? They are about a group of young children, not yet teenagers, who have a small boat, and they go on adventures on a small lake chasing pirates around the island in the middle. Harry Potter books have become popular with children all over the world. They turned an entire generation of children in England from book haters into book lovers. As I became a teenager my taste in reading changed, and I read many of Charles Dickens books, as well as Tolstoy, Dostoyevski, and D.H.Lawrence. I never really realised it, but I think this wide reading experience gave me a much broader understanding of English literature, history, and culture. Sometimes it takes a while for seeds to grow, and to appreciate the beauty around you. This brings my thoughts to your spiritual upbringing. I am very worried that your mum, even though she says she is a good practising Catholic, does not regularly attend church. When I was your age, church attendance was necessary at school. Every morning we would attend 42

chapel, and say prayers and sing hymns. I was even in the school choir for some years, that is until they discovered that my voice was no good! Pat was very religious, Bob was not. He kept thoughts about God very much to himself. I attended regularly, but I was not particularly interested in the bible stories we were taught. After Bob died, when I was seventeen, and then I went to Australia in 1970, I was very anti religion. This soon changed when I met my first wife Rhonda in Sydney. Because I felt a deep need to be part of a family I joined Rhonda's church, the Christadelphians. After some 30 years of membership, I can say truthfully they are a bigoted minority and dangerous religious sect, who do not believe in God. I can say this because they openly will tell you that their God is not the God Christians pray to. As a member of this sect for 30 years I am well qualified to know.

OXFORD 1974. MY FAMILY They will also tell you that the Holy Trinity does not exist. That is a dangerous mistruth. So, B I need to find a way to warn you about Simon and Alona taking you to West Ryde Christadelphian Church Sunday school. Late last year I converted from the Anglican Church and became a Catholic. I am proud to have reached a point in my life whereby I can tell you with strong conviction what exactly my beliefs are. It has taken me a lifetime to reach this point in my spiritual experience. It has been a long journey, but I feel at home and safe in this Christian catholic environment. You should at nine years old be being taken to catholic education classes, 44

with the purpose of being confirmed as a catholic boy. In the next few weeks I promise to try to convince the Family Court judge in Dumaguete that this is necessary, and should be done by me, your dad. Dearest B, the next few weeks will be taken up with very stressful court hearings. I don't know if you will be there or not. In some ways, I hope not, but my heart yearns for you, and I desperately want to at least see you, even if I am not allowed to speak to you directly. Always remember I love you, and I pray for you every day. Do you say your prayers? I hope so. If you do, then please say a prayer for me also. Draw comfort from God. He loves you very much.

Your loving dad.

Letters to Nathaniel 3 My dearest B. By the time you read this particular letter, I fully expect you to be grown up, and very much "your own man". It is very important for me to know that you know the real truth, not just the bits of truth that over time others have told you. It is very likely that when you were nine, and all your world of family expectations and promises was collapsing around you, the truth is, it was your mum and dad who had all the problems and struggled to cope. Please do not harbour any feelings of guilt that any of this was somehow your fault. I can assure you that it was never, and never ever will be, your fault. The situation had 46

nothing to do with you, but inevitably you got dragged into the centre arena, and you were the ace card, by which one parent eventually wins, and the other inevitably loses. While your mum struggled to cope with her identity and her loyalties to me and other close members of her family, she formed a relationship with another man. Inevitably this developed into a close sexual relationship that lasted at least three years, beginning when you were only six years old. I promise you, I tried my best to stop this relationship. I am a practicing Christian, and while I only turned to the Roman Catholic faith in 2014, I tried to hold onto Christian beliefs, and hoped sincerely that it was right and proper of me to "forgive and forget". I begged your mum and Cristopher Engcol to stop their relationship. Your mum's family, as well as Cristopher's, also tried to get them to stop. They refused. Your mum tried to blackmail me at the time, threatening to run away with you to Manila. You were only six. How could I risk such a situation? So, in hindsight, I made some poor choices, but I promise you, all the time I was thinking about you, and trying to protect your future. Do you remember the times you went with mum and Cristopher to Zamboangita to spend the day 47

at the beach house? The truth is, they took you there so they could spend the day together, alone, and away from me. Do you remember Cristopher staying for weeks at a time in the house in Candau-ay? Can you remember which bedroom they always stayed in, and do you remember seeing them many times lying together on the bed in the back bedroom in the daytime? Do you remember sleeping alone with me in the front bedroom, while mum was in the back bedroom with Cristopher? Did you think that was strange? Why did your mum sleep with Cristopher and not your dad? Think back to when you were 7 and 8 years old. You will remember, and then you will understand the truth. I have been deeply concerned that your mum embarked on a campaign to turn your love for me into something else. The fact that she managed to get you to sign an affidavit in Dumaguete saying that you were frightened I might hurt you is evidence enough. You were definitely suffering from something called Parental Alienation Syndrome. To explain PAS properly requires comment from experts........... Parental alienation syndrome 48

Parental alienation (or Hostile Aggressive Parenting) is a theory first popularized by Dr. Richard A. Gardner as Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). But under this theory, parental alienation occurs when a group of parental behaviors are damaging to children's mental and emotional well-being, and can interfere with a relationship of a child and either parent. These behaviors most often accompany high conflict marriages, separation or divorce. These behaviors whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing a loving parent is the cause of all their problems, and/or the enemy, to be feared, hated, disrespected and/or avoided. Characteristics, such as lack of empathy and warmth, between the rejected parent and child are some indicators. The term does not apply in cases of actual child abuse, when the child rejects the abusing parent to protect themselves. Parental alienation is controversial in legal and mental health professions, both generally and in specific situations. Terms related to parental alienation include child alienation, pathological alignments, visitation refusal, brainwashing, pathological alienation, the toxic parent and parental alienation syndrome. 49

First described in 1976 as "pathological alignment", the dynamic refers to a situation in which a child unreasonably rejects a noncustodial parent. Richard A. Gardner proposed parental alienation syndrome in the 1980s based on his clinical experience with the children of divorcing parents. Since that time, other researchers have suggested focusing less on diagnosing a syndrome and more on what has been described as the "alienated child", and the dynamics of the situation that have contributed to the alienation. In this view, alienation is seen as a breakdown of attachment between parent and child and may be caused by multiple factors. The behaviors of all family members, including those of the alienated parent, may lead to family dysfunction and the rejection of a parent. The evaluation of all contributing factors and all possible remedies are recommended in evaluating cases where children have become estranged from a parent. Some tangible and observable indicators of PAS can be the parent controlling the child, inappropriately badmouthing the targeted parent, and by highlighting what the shild is doing wrong, constantly putting the blame on that parent and making him/her to be the bad guy. 50

Interfering with the schedule of the targeted parent's access to the child, constantly claiming the child is not feeling well, or it's not convenient today for a scheduled visit or Skype call. Never allowing the child independent access to the targeted parent during skype or telephone calls, and constantly monitoring what is said, making the child feel afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, and then being punished afterwards. Removing all tangible evidence of the existence of the targeted parent, such as letters and photos, and refusing to pass on messages, or allow the child to receive birthday and Christmas gifts. According to Dr. Richard Gardner, who coined the term PAS, the 8 symptoms include: 1. A campaign of denigration against the

targeted parent in which the child comes to hate and/or fear that parent, when there is no reason for these feelings. That is, the targeted parent has not abused or neglected the child. 2. When asked to explain this sudden

rejection of the targeted parent, an alienated child will provide reasons that are weak, frivolous, and absurd. The explanations for the rejection are often not of the magnitude that would typically lead a child to reject a parent, such as a 51

parent not allowing a child to nap on the couch or serving spicy food to the child. 3. An alienated child exhibits a complete

lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent. The child demonstrates automatic, reflexive, idealized support of that parent. When asked to name one thing that is imperfect about that parent, the child will draw a complete blank. 4. Even though an alienated child will give

the appearance of being programmed or following a script, s/he will refuse to admit any outside influence on his/her behavior and actions. This is what is known as the "Independent Thinker" phenomenon. 5. An alienated child will not appear to feel

any guilt about the poor treatment of the targeted parent. An alienated child will generally behave as if the targeted parent has no feelings and is completely unworthy of common human decency. An alienated child may reject all gifts from the targeted parent or accept gifts but refuse to show appreciation by declaring that the targeted parent does not deserve it. 6. The sixth manifestation of PAS is that an

alienated child will always side with the alienating parent against the targeted parent even when there is no rational 52

basis for doing so. There is no willingness or attempt to be impartial when faced with inter-parental conflicts. The child concludes that the alienating parent is always right and the targeted parent is always wrong, even when there is considerable evidence to the contrary. 7. When speaking about both parents, the

alienated child will use phrases and ideas adopted wholesale from the alienating parent, even when the child does not seem to grasp the meaning of the words and cannot define them. This is referred to as the use of borrowed scenarios and is what gives parental alienation syndrome the appearance of brainwashing. 8. The final sign of parental alienation

syndrome is that the hatred of the targeted parent spreads to his or her extended family. Not only is the targeted parent denigrated, despised, and avoided but so too are this parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s entire family. Formerly beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are suddenly avoided and rejected. The family is treated as if it has an infectious disease that is to be avoided at all costs. Alienated children have been known to avoid important family functions such as birthdays, weddings, and even funerals of relatives

with whom the child had once been quite close.

Parental alienation lacks a single definition and its existence, etiology, characteristics, and in particular the concept of parental alienation syndrome have been the subject of debate. Some formulations of the concept have emphasized the role of an alienating parent, termed variously the "programming" parent or "embittered-chaotic parent". More recent descriptions, influenced by the research of Kelly and Johnston, have proposed a more complex analysis, in which all family members may play a role. This "systemsbased" view acknowledges that a child may be alienated from one parent without "alienating" behaviour by the other parent. The results of an empirical study also suggest that alienating behaviors by both parents are the norm in highconflict divorces. The rejected parent is often passive, depressed, anxious, and withdrawn characteristics which may encourage further rejection. The parent that the child aligns with (the aligned parent) may engage in alienating behaviors, including undermining the other parent, usually the estranged father. These behaviors may be conscious and deliberate or, 54

alternatively, may reflect a lack of awareness on the effect of the actions on the children. Direct alienating behaviors occur when one parent actively undermines the other parent, such as making derogatory remarks about the other parent, telling the child that the other parent is responsible for the separation, or telling the child that the other parent is the cause of financial difficulties. Indirect alienation behaviors occur when one parent fails to support access or contact with the other parent or tacitly accepts the child's negative behaviour and comments towards the other parent. Most of the peer-reviewed publications on the subject have been in the form of descriptions and definitions. Some empirical research has been done, though the quality of the studies varies widely and research in the area is still underdeveloped. One significant longitudinal study of 1000 cases has been completed by Dr. Clawar and Ms. Rivkin. Sample selection bias is an obvious problem in many of the studies. For example, when alienated children have been interviewed, it is likely that the children selected for study have been among the most severely alienated and suffering children. The beliefs of judges, lawyers, and mental health professionals 55

have been cited extensively in peer reviewed literature. A survey of mental health and legal professionals indicated that there is moderate support for the existence of parental alienation. However, there remains general reluctance to accept the concept of parental alienation syndrome. William Bernet argued for the inclusion of parental alienation disorder, a diagnosis related to parental alienation, in the fifth version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which was released in 2013. His conception makes reference to PAS and a variety of other descriptions of behaviors he believes represent the underlying concept of parental alienation. The APA whitepaper notes: "The term is still used by some evaluators and courts to discount childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fears in hostile and psychologically abusive situations." American Psychological Association, Violence and the Family, American Psychological Association, Washington, D.C., 1996, p. 40] Some have suggested that the general idea of PAS is covered in the DSM-5 under a closely related diagnosis: "Parent-Child Relational Problem." For example, the childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perception of an alienated parent "may include negative attributions of the otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intentions, 56

hostility toward or scapegoating of the other (parent), and unwarranted feelings of estrangement." In a survey at the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts in 2010, 98% of the 300 respondents agreed with the question, "Do you think that some children are manipulated by one parent to irrationally and unjustifiably reject the other parent?". However, Parental Alienation Syndrome refers not to this manipulation, but to a serious illness in the child in which he or she despises and rejects one of the parents. Attorneys and expert witnesses may still argue that a parent undermines the child's relationship with the other parent through inappropriate actions or statements. Superior courts worldwide are now recognising parental alienation as serious child abuse with long-term effects and serious outcomes for the â&#x20AC;&#x153;PAS Childâ&#x20AC;?. Some jurisdictions have enacted parental alienation as a criminal offence, the latest being Brazil and Mexico. Further reading

Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You (2014) by Amy J. L. Baker and Paul R Fine Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing, by Richard Warshak (2010, updated edition) Parental Alienation, DSM-5, and ICD-11, by William Bernet (Author, Editor) (2010) Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind by Amy J. L. Baker Brainwashing Children Steinbeck (2011)

John

Thomas

References ^ Bessette, Francoise T. (2008). Disciplining Divorcing Parents: The Social Construction of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PDF) (Masters Thesis ed.). Kingston , Ontario, Canada: Queen’s University. p. 115. Retrieved 2015-08-20. ^ Hoult, J.D., Jennifer (2006). "The Evidentiary Admissibility of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Science, Law, and Policy" (PDF). Children’s Legal Rights Journal 20 (1): 1–61. Retrieved 2015-08-20. 58

^ "PAAO - Raising Awareness of Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting". Parental Alienation Awareness Organization. Retrieved 25 April 2015. ^ Warshak, R. A. (2010). Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing. New York: Harper Collins. ^ Warshak, R. A. (2002). Misdiagnosis of Parental Alienation Syndrome. American Journal of Forensic Psychology, 20, 31-52. ^ Warshak, R. A. (2001). Current Controversies Regarding Parental Alienation Syndrome. American Journal of Forensic Psychology, 19, 29-59. ^ a b c d e f Bala, N; Fidler B; Goldberg D; Houston C (2007). "Alienated Children and Parental Separation: Legal Responses from Canada's Family Courts". Queens Law Journal 33: 79â&#x20AC;&#x201C;138. ^ Warshak, R. A. (2003). Bringing Sense to Parental Alienation: A Look at the Disputes and the Evidence. Family Law Quarterly, 37, 273301.

^ a b Bernet, W (2008). "Parental Alienation Disorder and DSM-V". The American Journal of Family Therapy 36 (5): 349–366. doi:10.1080/01926180802405513. ^ a b c d e f Bow, JN; Gould JW; Flens JR (2009). "Examining Parental Alienation in Child Custody Cases: A Survey of Mental Health and Legal Professionals". The American Journal of Family Therapy 37 (2): 127–145. doi:10.1080/01926180801960658. ^ Jaffe, PG; Lemon NKD; Poisson SE (2002). Child Custody & Domestic Violence. SAGE Publications. pp. 52–54. ISBN 978-0-7619-18264. ^ Ackerman MJ (2001). Clinician's guide to child custody evaluations. New York: John Wiley & Sons. pp. 73–82. ISBN 0-471-39260-X. ^ Waldron, KH; Joanis DE (1996). "Understanding and Collaboratively Treating Parental Alienation Syndrome". American Journal of Family Law 10: 121–133. ^ Sparta, SN; Koocher GP (2006). Forensic Mental Health Assessment of Children and Adolescents. Oxford University Press. pp. 83, 219–221. ISBN 978-0-19-514584-7. 60

^ Hands, A. J. & Warshak, R. A. (2011). Parental Alienation Among College Students. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 39, 431443. ^ Clawar, SS; Rivkin BV (2013). Children Held Hostage: Identifying Brainwashed Children, Presenting a Case, and Crafting Solutions. Amrican Bar Association. pp. 560 [1], 219â&#x20AC;&#x201C;221. ISBN 978-1-62722-155-9. ^ Rotstein, Gary (February 15, 2010). "Mental health professionals getting update on definitions". Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Retrieved 2010-03-02. ^ "American Psychiatric Association Board of Trustees Approves DSM-5-Diagnostic manual passes major milestone before May 2013 publication". American Psychiatric Association. 1 December 2012. ^ Kay, B. (2013). Barbara Kay: Teaching children to hate the ex. National Post, May 23, 2013. ^ Franklin, R. (2013). Limited Definition of parental alientation syndrome included in the DSM-V. National Parent's Organization, May 26, 2013.

^ Lorandos, D., W. Bernet and S.R. Sauber (2013). Overview of Parental Alienation. In Lorandos, D., W. Bernet and S.R. Sauber (2013) Parental alienation. The Handbook for Mental Health and Legal Professionals. Charles C Thomas, Springfield. ^ Pagers, Parental Association.

Alienation

Awareness

^ See Margaret A. Hagen, Whores of the Court. With thanks to Wikipedia

B, I would like to hope that you do your own investigation and research about what psychologically happened to you. I hope you are not still scarred by the events of the time. I only ever wanted the best for you, and tried to keep you safe always. Maybe I failed you. It is OK with me if you make your own judgement about that...........but please, don't be too quick to make that judgement. Make sure you know and can understand the real truth. I love you, and I always will. Your dad. 62

Letters to Nathaniel 4. Your mum My dearest B. Really, your dear mum should be writing this letter to you, but I know she will never be willing to do so. To balance your parents properly in your mind, you inevitably need to know about her childhood as well as mine, and her early years as a young mother. I will do my best, I promise you, to be fair, and sensitive in how I tell her story, as it has been told to me.......but please remember, I can only relay to you what I have been told, and I have to assume, like you, that it is true, however hard to believe or comprehend. Your mum was born the tenth and last child on 25th May 1982. She was born in the family home, life being as basic as it must have been, 63

with a 'hilot" or poorly trained midwife in attendance. She was very small, and barely alive. An earlier baby had died at childbirth, so she ended up being one of nine. Her oldest siblings were already adult, and she was an auntie already. Her oldest sister, Sherlita, went to the middle east to work for a while, presumably to help financially support the family. Her sister closest to her in age is Daisy, and above her is Marilyn. These two sisters were her only play companions at home in Bandera, Dipolog, a small rice farming community full of aunts and uncles and cousins. The men were mostly hard drinkers, Tuba (fermented coconut flower) being the cheapest and preferred beverage. Food was scarce, and children mostly survived on a little rice from neighbours, coconuts, and bananas. Fights among the men were common, and wives would be beaten and abused for not putting a meal on the table every day. Daisy was considered by some to be the smartest child and her elementary teacher took her into her home on a work for food, clothing, and education deal, so she rarely went home. I think your mum was very jealous of the opportunity given to Daisy, who left school at the usual age of sixteen, never wanting to go on to college, thus wasting her opportunity. 64

When your mum was twelve she was alone at home with her mum one day, and was told there had been a terrible fight over water rights at the family rice field. Her dad and his uncle were fighting over control of the water flow, and probably they were both drunk. Her dad won the fight, by holding the other man's head under the water, until he drowned. In fairness, I think your grandfather was very remorseful about what had happened, but this kind of situation on the rice fields is not uncommon. The dead man's family wanted money, about the equivalent of $2,000.00 or so. This was of course impossible for him to raise, so he was sentenced in court to 15 years prison in Manila. Her served 7 years and was released on bail. It was about this time that I met your mother in Manila. Shirlita by that time was back from the Middle East, and all the family were living together in Novaliches, in northern Manila, with Sherlita paying the household bills by soliciting money on a monthly basis from three men at the same time. When your mum was sixteen she stopped school for two years, and then, to her credit, she went back to school, attending Novaliches High School, and graduating with a reasonable grade. It must have taken a lot of determination for her 65

to do that. Around the time she was nineteen, her sister Daisy met a Canadian guy online, and had just become engaged to him. I met your mum in a similar way, only unknown to me, I thought I was chatting online to your mum, but in fact it was Daisy pretending to be her. Your mum was on her way back from Dipolog after helping her parents return home. By the time your mum had returned to Manila, and I had been chatting with Daisy, believing it was your mum, she discovered that I was on a plane to Manila, which had been previously arranged as I was working with San Miguel beer at the time, and she was then expected to meet me for an agreed date. Naturally, your mum was not very happy about what Daisy had organised on her behalf, but with some encouragement from her sisters, you mum and I met at McDonald's Fairview. When we met, she had the widest and most beautiful, and warmest smile I had ever seen. She was very captivating, and quickly won me over. We spent the next week together, always chaperoned by one or more of her sisters. Your mum has claimed in court that I took unfair advantage of her. Please accept my word that this is not true, and I have many, many letters from her written in the days and weeks after I returned to Australia, that 66

prove that her commitment to me was willingly and freely given. I travelled to Manila to visit your mum about every 6 weeks, but I can understand she must have been very lonely and felt isolated during the year or so before we were married. I tried my best, talking to her every day on Yahoo Messenger, and I set her up in a small house near to Fairview shopping mall. She invited a number of her cousins to stay with her to keep her company, all of which I financed. I also took her for short holidays to Hong Kong and Thailand, partly to be with her, and partly to widen her experiences and knowledge about a world I was inviting her to become a part of by marrying me. I also arranged for her to visit Sydney for some months, so she could see for herself what life was like in another country. Yes, we came from different world, different cultures, and our age difference was massive. According to all the rules, we were taking a huge leap in faith that we would find common ground together. I certainly gave your mum all the love and encouragement I possibly could. It probably sounds now to have been highly presumptuous of me to believe that with the right care I could help her to learn about life living in a foreign country, 67

where just about everything, and every minute of every day was just so foreign to her. Looking back now, I might as well have expected her to assimilate into daily life on the moon, let alone Australia. Yet, I really, truly believed in her ability to succeed. Was I simply expecting too much? Probably. Could I have done things differently? I'm not so sure. I did my best to encourage her to try out new things. I took her to professional singing lessons. I took her to modelling agencies. I took her to Latin Dancing classes. I took her to music lessons. I got her to enrol in a course at TAFE. Initially, she would show interest, and then she got bored quite quickly every time, or so it seemed. I kept a positive outlook, and told her it didn't really matter, because one day she would find something she really liked and then she would soar. It just never quite happened for her. Did I simply try too hard, and smother her with so many options that she couldn't cope? Maybe, but I never scolded her for losing interest, I just encouraged her to try something new. Where was my mistake? At the same time, she must have been really struggling with home sickness. I always made sure she called her parents, nearly every week. I 68

told her never to lose sight of her Philippine identity, and never to ignore her parents. What was very difficult for both of us were the constant demands for money, especially from her father, who simply saw me as a means to cash. Over the years I paid for installation of electricity, laying a new water pipe for more than on kilometre, doubling the size of the family house, building houses for her sister and her brother, paying the pawn back on the rice farm, sending small amounts of cash home from time to time, and paying her mother's massive medical bills when she had kidney stones, as well as paying for her dad to get cleaned up after his nocturnal sojourns, and then inevitably infecting her mum on at least two occasions. I paid for all that and more. I may have uttered some expressions of annoyance about all this, but I doubt anyone would be that surprised. Her dad told your mum one day that if I was not willing to give her money to pass on to him so he could have a good time with local women, then she should poison my food and get a new husband. Yet, B, all the time I cared for and loved your mum. Maybe, like many men, I promised too much. Most of the things I promised I delivered on. I built the magnificent house in Candau-ay, 69

Dumaguete, complete with swimming pool. It was, and is, a wonderful house. That house was supposed to be for me to retire to, and as a safety net for you and your mum. I loved that house, and your mum did also, yet she came to hate it, because it reflected too much of me, and not enough of her. That is a huge shame, because it was built with love. Your mum really wanted what she thought her filipino friends had in Sydney. A big house and 2 cars in the driveway. What she never quite grasped was that all that in Sydney comes at a price. It takes both people to work, and maybe at 2 jobs, not only 1, and for years and years. She never quite saw the necessity to work like everyone else in Australia. After all she had married a foreigner, and so she should be kept. In turn, I was worried about her being able to cope with the future, especially if something happened to me Well, it did happen. I couldn't walk by the time you were 6, and I needed help to even sit down or get up from a chair. I needed an operation in Australia, and I needed it urgently. My lower back was collapsing fast, and I needed help. Was I expecting too much from your mum? She was only 30, and I was placing her under even greater pressure. I think about the vows and the 70

commitments we made to each other on our wedding day, and I ask myself, was this simply too much burden to place on her? Had I innocently, and perhaps selfishly, come to expect too much from her. Had I been doing exactly that for the last ten years? In ten years she seemed to me to never really be able to decide whether she wanted to live in Australia with all its money and social challenges, or whether to accept a different kind of life living as the wife of a foreigner in the Philippines. She told me a number of times that living in the Philippines put her on a lower social scale, despite all the maids and helpers we had in the house. She saw no reason to live quietly there, and inevitably we spent money like water. After 2 years I could already see the money running out soon, and persuaded your mum to go to China with you and me, where I could work, even for local pay, and at least stop the outpouring of money for a while. Yet, B, while all this sounds very gloomy indeed, we really did have some wonderful times together, both before and after you were born. Your mum is very charismatic, and can be the life of any party. She has a smile so big, and inviting, that it stops everyone in the room. It took, however, many years for her to admit to me that 71

on most occasions it was all fake, and that she was deeply depressed. In the early years we were married she would wait until late at night, and me being tired by then from working long hours, she would pick a fight, and in my tiredness my guard was down, so she probably felt it gave her some kind of advantage. Many a long night was spent with her huddled on the floor under the bed crying her eyes out, and me trying desperately, and not very successfully, to comfort her in some way. She would be inconsolable. And then, the next morning she would seem fine, but she would spend long hours of the day watching Filipino TV. She also seemed to absorb herself in seeking out other filipinasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; married to foreigners and living abroad somewhere, and then befriending them. Inevitably, they had changed, and she wanted to instantly copy them. One such couple I will never forget. Al and Merlinda Reeder from Washington, DC, USA. Al worked for the Defence Department and was a couple of years away from retirement, he was just trying to build his 401 pension a little more before he took the big step to quit working. Merlinda was a couple of years older than your mum, but not much older. We stayed at each other's houses a couple of times when we were in 72

the Philippines at the same time. You and Timothy were just babies. When Al was right in the middle of retiring he got very sick, and nobody seemed able to work out what was th3 problem. I even took Al for tests here in Dumaguete, all with little result. Eventually Al returned to the US, and had lots of tests done at the Washington VA hospital. It was then discovered he was suffering from Lou Gehrig's disease. This was particularly nasty, and very aggressive. He lived another three years, the last one almost paralysed, and in a wheel chair, unable to feed or take care of himself. Al was a lovely man, and everyone was sad to lose him. Strangely, the day he died in Washington, I had a dream that he was standing in the bedroom, saying to me his goodbyes. In a similar way, when my own dad died, I had a similar experience. I don't really believe in ghosts or spirits as such, but it has happened to me twice now, so I am open to suggestion that something significant was going on. Your mum and I really did have some wonderful and very memorable times together. We have thousands of photos to prove it. But we also, like many married couples had our difficult times. You dear B were a delight and joy for both of us. 73

You came into this world with so much love and hope between us. When you were new born we lived in a small villa house in Girraween. Strangely, this house we rented was almost directly opposite another house we rented a few years later, in fact the last house we all shared in Sydney. I also worked from home, with my office taking over the small garage. Even though I worked from home, I worked very long hours, and it was difficult for me to separate business life from family life. At night time I used to hold you very close to my shoulder and hum to you to get you to sleep. Your mum seemed impressed at the way I could easily get you to settle. And, yes, I did my share of nappy changing too. There was one memorable time when I had just unclipped your nappy while you were lying on your back looking up at me, and a huge arc of wee went straight up and hit me directly in the eye. But that was really OK. You were just making sure I really did have your attention. Your mum took care of you beautifully, and she had no trouble with breast feeding you. She gave me every indication that she was happy to be a mother. We had some assistance initially from your aunt Marilyn, who we brought over from Dipolog. She stayed in Sydney a couple of 74

months, and then travelled with us to Hong Kong, on the way to Dumaguete. I had reached an impasse with my business partner, and your mum and I agreed that it would be easier to just close down the business and retire in Dumaguete, even though it was a couple of years earlier than originally planned, and of course with much less available cash to retire properly on. Your mum and I went to Hawaii on business twice. On the first trip we visited Pearl Harbour, and the impact of seeing at close range the devastating effect on the US Navy fleet in the bay after the Japanese air attack, and the realisation of what did happen, and also could have taken place in the Philippines, struck a chord with her. Young Japanese students today are not taught about World War 11 in their country, and so your mum was shocked by the complete lack of reverence while touring the deck of the Arizona, where over 1000 sailors were entombed, quite enraged her. They simply, through lack of appropriate education treated the site as just another tourist attraction. We also went to England the Christmas before you were born, and stayed with my sister Stephanie and husband David. They live in a 300 year old house, actually a farm house and a barn 75

joined together and modernised, whilst at the same time retaining the character and heritage of its age. The house has lots of small rooms, low ceilings, and many small doors. It has two staircases, so for a 9 year old boy like you it would be a delightful place to explore. I imagine it might resemble for you, with your imagination running wild, a cross between Harry Potter, and The Witch, the Wardrobe, and the Lion books (The Narnia stories). When you get to see any of the Harry Potter movies, have a look at the grand dining room where all the students ate. That is a real place, and it is the student dining room at Christchurch College in Oxford, where my stepfather Philip Snow, who married my mum after Bob died, used to eat while he was a chorister there. Also, the Narnia stories were written by an Oxford University professor shortly after World War 11. They were written, and somewhat based on bible stories, to cheer up English school children who had survived the war, and might be depressed about life. The plan was to spend Christmas with my family in England, with Stephanie's children, also grown up, in attendance. Your mum was 3 months pregnant, and very out of her depth in dealing with a lively English family, and so things soon 76

went very wrong. Visiting close relatives over Christmas can be a delicate political tightrope at the best of times, and with your mum being pregnant, she was probably over sensitive, and chose to change her mind over what now are insignificant things we had planned to do while there, and so there was unnecessary friction between us. I defended your mum at all costs, and so we left and went to London for our last two days in England. A nice thing happened on our last day in London. It snowed, and your mum was delighted. I remember also your mum's absolute delight when we went together to see The Lion King, which was being performed in Sydney, as part of its world tour. She was stunned at what she witnessed. Secretly, I was too. The show was magnificent, and it well deserved its worldwide acclaim.

All my love to you B Dad

CONCHITA AT PHILIPPINE NATIONAL DAY BALL IN SYDNEY 2005

Letters to Nathaniel Letter no. 5 Scrap metal and other stories

You may well ask why such an unusual title for this letter. Well, B, I'll try to explain, but it may take some time. It's been a couple of weeks since I wrote you my last letter, and I've been rolling thoughts around my head as how exactly to approach this letter. It's certainly complex, but I 78

think you may find it interesting. This letter is written entirely differently from all my other letters, very much on purpose. It is a scrap book of stories and thoughts, mixed into a time warp of my entire life. They start nowhere, and maybe they will finish nowhere. Who knows? That could well be the point. Why timeline with precise accuracy every event in my life like some monotonous series of milestones in history? No. I think it is better to let the stories come out in their own time, in their own way, with spontaneity and complete abandonment to the sensible order of life. Let's break all the rules here and now. Just because later in my life I became a Quality Auditor does not mean I have to follow any rules. No. To hell with it, I'll write it down as it come to my mind, fresh, like it happened a few minutes ago. I have just finished and put back on my library shelf a wonderful book of life by the legendary rock singer and performer Jimmy Buffett. Now, there is a guy. He loved to fly and to fly fish. If only I could have achieved that. Do you remember my one wish for birthday presents? Just give me a helicopter........... You may well ask what on earth has "scrap" got to do with my life? Well, B, actually quite a lot. 79

After my dad came back to England from 4 years of internment in a German prison camp, he joined his oldest brother Arthur in Birmingham, and learned to manage an electroplating business. I suspect Arthur was not a good businessman, because he filed for bankruptcy and Bob took over. Soon, one of his best clients, Ian Heath, invited him to leave his brother's business, and set up a state of the art electroplating factory alongside the Ianthe factory which manufactured newly popular household items out of pressed or die-cast metals for households, such as poker and tong sets for fireplaces, or smoker stands for the modern man's living room. In those days men smoked, and enjoyed quiet evenings by an open fire in the living room, or "parlour". Times of course have changed, and these events must seem so strange to you, reading this.

PAT AND BOB ON A CRUISE 1965 Ianthe as a business in Birmingham was riding high on a wave of popularity with the products it manufactured, and Bob joined as one of three partners, but he was the junior partner. Bill Bradley was the second partner. He was the senior toolmaker and designer at Sam Heath Limited, the family business of Ian Heath. Before the 2nd World War, Ian was quite a playboy, carving out a name for himself as an uncontrollable drunk and a scoundrel, especially in London. He met and married the daughter of Edgar Lawley, the rich owner of a famous pottery named after his family. After a wild romance Ian and Marjorie were married, much to the disgust of both families, and Ian was thrown out of the 81

family business, whereupon he set himself up in direct competition with his father and brothers, with Bill and Bob as partners. Bill, for reasons best known to himself, was intensely jealous of Bob, and tried very hard to stop him becoming a significant shareholder of Ianthe. It was only 1 month before Bob died, that the situation was resolved, even though Bob was forced to actually buy his shareholding in Ianthe, something Bill never was asked to do, some 20 years earlier. Bob was a very personable man, but was quiet and unassuming. There was a kind of aura that drew people to him. He was constantly being sought out for his opinion, or his advice. He was also recognised for being a very clever man. He was mostly self-taught, and I think gained his knowledge during his four years of internment during the war. While Bill Bradley remained somewhat aloof, Ian Heath took him in as confidant and best friend. By this time Ian had stopped drinking, was a regular at AA meetings, and got on with developing Ianthe. Income tax in the 50's was outrageous, 19 shillings and sixpence in the pound, so as a tax minimisation measure he gave away 8% of the Ianthe shares each to myself and each of the two Bradley sons, John and David. I was only two or three years old 82

at the time. Meanwhile, Bob had been made a director, but with no shares. Bill Bradley blocked any fair distribution of ownership, I think mostly out of jealousy and mis-trust. Ian Heath never had children of his own, and I think because of his attraction to Bob, he simply appointed me as his heir apparent. So, there I was, still in nappies, the future owner of a profitable company. In the meantime, under Bob's clever management, the electroplating business was making substantial profits. An independent company was formed and Bradhill Limited was registered, with Ian, Bill, and Bob as equal partners and shareholders. But the profits from Bradhill were siphoned off into Ianthe, and while the status quo of the three remained strong, it probable did not much matter who owned what. As Bradhill grew in size, a problem soon became obvious. All the electroplating tanks held many large, heavy, and quite valuable ingots of precious metal, such as copper and silver. During the process of electroplating, the electric charge going through these metal bars, caused the pure metal to transfer from the rods to the manufactured components hanging in the huge tanks. After a while, the rods became thin and 83

inefficient. But they still held large amounts of pure valuable metal. The solution to this inefficiency in production was for the partners to make a lucrative tax free bonus. This was done about every 2-3 months, and Eddie, the trusted family employee, was used to collect the "scrap", which of course was never talked about openly, and take it to the scrap metal yard to quietly sell for tax free cash. In my estimation, this nearly doubled Bob's income. I only discovered the scrap story after Bob died, but it certainly explained how Bob always had plenty of cash in his wallet, and he was always able to buy his expensive cameras, and take us all on overseas holidays every year, with such apparent ease. I think this was also the main source of the money to pay for my boarding school education, and parts of Stephanie's medical school expenses, even though the majority of the cost in those days was covered by the government, because education then was largely free, albeit means tested, in a similar way as Australia is today. As a family, we always received expensive toys for Christmas and birthdays, and enormous Easter eggs at Easter time. Bob was able to afford to create a beautiful rose garden and terraces for Pat, she never had the need to work, and always 84

seemed to have money in her purse. Her delight was to be able to not have to wash her hair at home. Every Thursday she would catch the bus and spend the day in Birmingham, and she would get her hair washed and set at Rackhams Department Store. During school holidays I would go with Pat, and at lunchtime we would visit a small family run cafe type restaurant. This was Pat's celebration and reward to herself, collected on a weekly basis. As a young boy, I simply accepted this as a normal way of life, and saw nothing unusual or special in the Hill family routine. It was safe, and in the 50's and 60's, everyone was aspiring to follow the American standard of living - comfortably. On one of these Thursday trips to town at age about five or six I suppose, Pat was sitting on the lower level of the bus, and as I liked a view and some independence, I would mostly ride solo upstairs. On one such afternoon I was caught short, went downstairs and informed Pat that I need to pee. Without thinking about the matter she simply said "go and quietly wee onto the road from the back step of the bus". Unashamedly I unzipped my short pants and squirted a massive and beautiful arc of wee off the back step of the bus as it was gently rolling down High Street, 85

right in front of the oncoming cars, and in full glorious view of all who made the mistake of casting a bored eye in my direction. Pat told me years later she got into serious trouble with the bus conductor who had never, ever, seen such an exhibition in her life. Secretly, I think Pat laughed silently all the way home. I never was scolded about this episode. I wonder if it was ever duly recorded in the daily "event" journal of the bus company. It would have made a good madcap skit for the popular TV series of the day "On the Buses". Mr Jeremy By the time I was sixteen Pat and Bob were beginning to recognise that school and my ability to learn in a traditional way was sadly lacking. I learn a different way, and it took the mainstream educators until the 90s to recognise that fact, and start to offer alternative teaching systems, especially to mature age students. Remember, I never entered university until I was 42 years old. So well before my 17th birthday I was working full time with Bob at Ianthe in Birmingham. Being such an old-fashioned environment, I was known by the factory and office workers as "Mr. JEREMY".

My role was to understudy Bob, and in the meantime to become warehouse manager. At that time, I was still considered the heir-apparent, with Bill Bradley's oldest son John working in the main office as a clerk, and David working in the tool-making department following in the footsteps of his dad. Ian, of course, was unable to have children. There was naturally a lot of gossip about the 3 sons, and of course some jealousy and rivalry. I don't remember the exact details of how the blow up started, but one day David stormed into the warehouse poking me in the stomach with a long steel ruler, and yelling at me. Naturally enough I wasn't going to put up with that behaviour, so I instinctively grabbed the ruler and pulled it out of his hand. Unknown to both of us there were razor sharp metal filings all along the ruler's edge. In the process of removing the offensive weapon I nearly cut his hand in two. David had an emergency trip to the hospital to have his hand stitched up, and his arm put in a sling. Needless to say he never approached me again. Much later Pat told me that Ian and Bob discussed what had happened, and Ian told both Bob and Bill that if David had done such a thing to him, he would have done exactly the same as I did. So......no more was said about the event.

Most of the factory workers were Pakistanis, and I got along with them very well. At the time in England they were not very well liked within the communities in which they lived. Paki bashing was a local popular sport amongst the skinheads (young men) of the day. I learned a lot about dealing with workers, some well-educated, and many who were not. Within 2 years, unfortunately, Bob was dead, and I was made general manager, but it was a title only. After some bitter disappointments some of my own doing, and some caused by others, I left the safety net of working at Ianthe, and spent a year working in the stock exchange in Birmingham, a job I hated. From there I joined the army. I was an officer cadet in the Royal Green Jackets, based in Winchester, an ancient city with a stunning cathedral. The Green Jackets have a very famous battle history, including the Battle of Waterloo. They also marched on parade at a blistering speed of 110 paces per minute. Try it sometime. It's not so easy. Of fishing and shooting As I already explained, Ian had no children, and he probably saw a little of himself in me when I was young. By the time I was fifteen, as well as spending time on his shared salmon river, he 88

would sometimes take me pheasant shooting on his friends' country estates. Now to describe what this really meant might require you to close your eyes and picture an old-fashioned scene in England. Wealthy squires used to own large amounts of English countryside, some of which was turned into farmland, and other parts might be purposely kept as woodlands. These woodlands would be carefully kept wild and unkempt. In reality, they were areas where pheasant were bred in large numbers, and allowed to roam wild, away from predators such as foxes. The squire would employ gamekeepers and foresters to care for the woodlands, and watch over the game birds. As soon as numbers were high, and usually in the summer months, on weekends friends and important guests would be invited as family guests, or paying guests, to join in a "shoot". The guests, mostly men, would stand in a long line, maybe 10 metres apart, in an open section of the woodlands, and then wait for the "beaters" or local farmworkers to walk slowly through the tangled woodlands beating sticks on the ground as they walked towards the "guns". This would scare the birds to fly up, and directly in the path of the waiting guns, hunting dogs at the ready to 89

retrieve the shot down birds. In shooting game birds, there is a strict form of etiquette to be observed. Only shoot birds directly in front of your gun. Never angle your gun across to the left or right to shoot a bird coming, for all intents and purposes, right at you. That bird belongs to the gun next to you. To shoot down another man's pheasant is considered very rude, and you may well not get invited to that shoot again. Well, of course, at fifteen, I was very excited when birds were flying all round me. By that age I was an exceptionally good shot, so before anyone could stop me, to everyone's surprise, I had singlehandedly shot down almost all the birds within my range. Naturally enough I was given a bit of a talking to, but I think most of the shooters were so surprised at the accuracy of my shooting that they actually didn't really mind too much. I was also at that time told about safety issues, and just how important they were when you were in with a large group of men all walking through the fields with loaded shotguns. It was a potentially very dangerous situation. I was told about one such friend of Ian who accidently left his shotgun safety catch off when he climbed over a gate to enter another field. Once he realised how he had endangered his friends 90

alongside him, he was so upset that he unloaded his gun, walked back to his car, and went home. He was simply too upset with what he considered, and rightly so, to be disgraceful behaviour. Such is honour amongst men with class and breeding.

Bob's 18 pound salmon Ian Heath used to regularly invite Bob, and sometimes me, to his shared ownership fishing lodge in the heart of Wales. Here he owned with 4 others a mile and a half of prime salmon river. This meant that during the spring and summer months we might enjoy 4 or 5 weekends of uninterrupted fishing for salmon and trout. I was very keen on fly fishing, so mostly used to go after trout. Uncle Ian and Bob used to prefer a much more relaxed weekend, rigging a whole prawn onto their lines, and just sitting out the day, with idle chatter. Knowing Ian and Bob, a lot of time would also be spent discussing business matters. The salmon used to travel upstream into the river from where they had been growing for 2 years in the ocean, with the single purpose of mating and laying millions of eggs high up in the river, 91

which by now was only a trickle of water. The eggs would be laid over flat gravel beds. By this time the adult salmon would be exhausted, and they would almost all die, with only a few successfully making their way downstream and out to sea again. When in the rivers for spawning salmon would rarely eat, having built up layers of fat while growing in the sea. This reserve of fat would be consumed when travelling in the rivers and streams, so for a keen fisherman it was quite a challenge to fool a salmon intent on procreation to take the bait suspended on a line.

SALMON ON THE RISE

I was busy chasing wily trout one day, and Ian and Bob were further down the river bank, so I didn't see what happened. Bob had hooked a salmon, and it was a big one. It turned out to be 92

all of 18 pounds, or close to 8 kilos, quite a fish! There was huge excitement in the camp when Ian and Bob returned with the fish. It was certainly a beauty. We put it in the freezer, and on Sunday evening we drove home and presented the fish to Pat, who was quite stunned by such a big fish. She was somewhat intimidated, and was not quite sure how to cut it up or cook it, so on Monday morning it was delivered to the fish monger to cut up and prepare. Bob, of course, was quietly delighted, and we were all very proud of his success. Little did we know that less than 5 months later he would be dead from a sudden catastrophic heart attack. But I fondly imagine Bob still sitting up there in heaven talking about the fish that he caught.

Tarka the Otter and stories. Gavin Maxwell, Ring of Bright Water In my early teenage years I was hugely impressed by the stories of Gavin Maxwell, an eccentric Scottish landowner who perhaps struggled to find his place in life, especially after the turmoil of the war years when he was reputed to have been a British secret agent. He belonged to the upper class landed gentry, his grandfathers on both 93

sides being of significant lineage, his paternal one being the Duke of Northumberland. Gavin, as a schoolboy, attended Stowe Public School. I remember clearly playing hockey against boys at Stowe school, eating lunch in the school dining hall on Saturday afternoons, and then playing a fast game of schoolboy hockey out on their playing fields. It is only now, after reading the biography of Gavin Maxwell, that I can understand some of his frustrations in early adulthood, eventually leading to a lonely existence on the Scottish highlands at his new home in Sandaig, near Glenelg.

EUROPEAN OTTER 94

I was very taken by the life he lived, and avidly read all his books, the most internationally famous of these being Ring of Bright Water, which was later made into a film. An earlier book Tarka the Otter by Henry Williamson, published in 1927, was also inspirational to me. I remember dreaming of one day being able to go and visit the otters in Scotland, and living the wilderness life with Gavin Maxwell. Such dreams were shared with Pat, who instead of being negative about such a topic actually encouraged my wandering thoughts. At 14, my academic prowess was not looking too good, and a year away in the highlands of Scotland may well have made the "man out of me" that Uppingham sadly failed to do.

FALCONRY

I was also at that time strongly attracted to the romantic notion of training falcons and eagles to fly in the Scottish highlands. Should that have become my calling in life? I can only, at my age, reminisce and speculate on what might have been, given a push in a different direction. Because of my keen interest in photography, on many occasions I have felt that I might have made a really good war photographer, or even a photographer for National Geographic Magazine.

Beagling and fox hunting 96

While I was at Uppingham School (1963-1966) two popular countryside local activities caught my interest. One was beagling, and the other fox hunting. Fox hunting tended to be a sport for country farmers with money enough to own horses, and beagling (for hare) entailed the participating spectators running after the hounds all over the countryside. I desperately wanted to ride to the hounds, and in fact when I was 15 I arranged with a local famer to allow me to ride one of her hunting horses, specially bred for the purpose. It seems that she panicked at the last minute and called my school housemaster to check that I was a good enough rider, and also that I had my parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; permission to ride in what is really a very dangerous sport.

ENGLISH FOX HUNTING Needless to say, my horse suddenly became unavailable. But, I did also like beagling. This was all done at ground level, and we would run as fast as we could up and down hills and cross valleys trying to keep up with the hounds who would race off all over the countryside at huge speed at the slightest whiff of a scent from a disturbed hare. The result of the dogs catching up with and killing the fox or the hare would always be quit gruesome, and not for delicate eyes. These days, these "blood" sports have been banned as they are considered barbaric towards the fox or hare, but local farmers are not so happy as it is still considered by many as a sport with no guarantee of success to the hunters, but 98

certainly kept down the numbers of vermin on their farms. T.E. Lawrence and Reggie Sims Every Easter time we would go as a family to visit Isaac and Lottie Marritt, my grandparents on Pat's side of the family, in Hornsea, a village by the sea in East Yorkshire. On one such visit, when I was around 10, Lottie introduced me to one of her neighbours, who lived in a really, really old cottage. His name was Reggie Sims. I can't remember his wife's name. He had been a RAF wing commander in World War 1, and had been stationed in Egypt. During that time he lost the sight of one eye when driving in an open jeep in the desert. A large flying beetle hit him directly in one eye, and it blinded him permanently. He was also the commanding officer to a very famous officer, T.E. Lawrence, who wrote The Seven Pillars of Wisdom, and was an Honours student at Oxford University. T.E. Lawrence became immortalised in the legends that surrounded him as "Lawrence of Arabia", for which in the 60s a film was made starring Peter O'Toole as Lawrence.

PETER Oâ&#x20AC;?TOOLE AS T.E.LAWRENCE The film opens with Lawrence riding his high speed motor bike in England, when 2 little children crossed a small countryside lane directly in front of him. Lawrence swerved to avoid the children and was killed, having been thrown from his motorbike. In fact, he was on his way from Oxford to Hornsea to see Reggie Sims. The film was released in the early 1960s and Reggie Sims was furious and refused to watch it, because of the strong innuendo to Lawrence being "gay" something that in those days was strictly abhorred, but nowadays seems to be considered quite normal, even by the established church. 100

When I first met "Uncle Reggie" as I called him, I was trying to make a telescope from some old magnifying lenses and some cardboard tubing. Reggie was very supportive, and from then on I would spend my Easters at his house instead of Isaac and Lottie's house in the next street. Reggie was quite a character, and his house was set up like a museum. He had on display his Olympic skating bronze medals, and all sorts of antiquities, especially from the Middle East. His son at that time was a rescue helicopter pilot based in Wales, doing the exact same job recently being carried out by Prince William, who may well become King of England in your own lifetime. Only a few years later Reggie died of cancer, and I remember a very sad last visit to him in hospital shortly before his painful death.

Glasgow

After Stephanie passed her finals at St Mary's Hospital in London, she spent a year in Glasgow, a very tough man's heavy drinking city in Scotland, working very long hours in the Emergency Department at the city hospital. She was exposed in quite a savage way to the very 101

basics of life in working class environments, where men fought and killed each other on Friday night's out on the town, wives got savagely battered, and young girls got pregnant, often through no fault of their own, except that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think Stephanie's views of women's rights were exposed to a difference in the value system that she grew up in as a child. It was during this time that I visited her in Glasgow, and spent a delightful weekend with her walking in the beautiful countryside. Very shortly afterwards, I moved to Australia. It's never really been talked about, but I think Stephanie was very upset at my leaving England. But, Pat had already re-married Philip, and my mind was set on a significant change.

102

STEPHANIE AGED 4 IN 1950

Salmon fishing in Norway After Bob died, I decided that I would like to go salmon fishing in Northern Norway. So just before my 18th birthday I went on my own by sea to Bergen, in Norway, and then travelled by train a long way to the north of the country, where I met up with a group of other men from all over the world, all with a keen interest in fly fishing for salmon on some of the best fishing waters in the world. The trip was for a week, and most of the fishing was done at night time. It was 103

really cold, and we kept ourselves warm by lacing our hot black coffee with pure medicinal alcohol. I made friends with an English guy who was living in Hong Kong, and working as a senior police officer there. He had hired an MGB sports car, and after the fishing holiday was over, we drove all over northern Norway, looking for good fishing spots. It was at this time that I got a big salmon "fly" embedded into my finger, and to get it removed I had to visit a local hospital for surgical intervention. During my wait in the surgery I watched the historic occasion on TV of the first landing on the moon. That was quite an occasion, and goodness, what a place for me to be witnessing such an event in history.

104

NEIL ARMSTRONG FIRST STEPS ON THE MOON

Pat Buck Pat Buck was my mum's closest friend. They lived next door to each other in almost identical houses in Hall Green, a part of Birmingham. They had both married immediately after the war, and were each starting out with new families, living in houses purchased with savings from their military pay. Pat Buck's husband John was a US serviceman in the air force, transferred to England to help the war effort. While Bob became a partner in Ianthe in Birmingham, John joined Birds Eye foods, went to the US for a while, and then returned to England as a manager of Unilever. He rapidly rose in seniority, and very quickly became a director of Unilever. The oldest son, Simon, became my best friend, and we would always stay at each other's houses when we came home from boarding school. After completing his A levels, Simon took a year off, before going to university, and worked in Unilever House in Sydney. The building was eventually sold, and in it's place now stands the Sydney Opera House. 105

Very shortly afterwards, I moved to Australia, and with some help and references from "Uncle John Buck" I was accepted as a sales representative, working for Rosella Foods, a subsidiary of Unilever. I stayed with Rosella for eight years, and while a lot of the work there was very repetitious and boring, I found, on looking back, that actually I learned quite a lot about being a team player in such a large organisation. When I started there, I was only 21 years old, and in NSW there were about 26 sales representatives plus half a dozen or so managers. In my time there, I can claim some fame to a few events.......... I was the only salesman to make a single sale of 100 pallets of groceries to a single supermarket. That store was Woolworths in Penrith. Rosella was offering bonus gifts to store managers as an incentive to buy. I found a store manager whose eyes were clearly bigger than his brain. My boss got scared and cancelled the deal, which at the time I thought a bit unfair. My boss yelled at me down the phone when I called in to tell him.

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ROSELLA FOODS NOW NO LONGER 2012 I was the only salesman to lose his selling portfolio by leaving it on top of the roof of his car. I drove off one time after making a call, and the book simply vanished. I had a lot of explaining to do on that one ! Nobody had ever done that before. One day I left my sales territory and drove all the way across Sydney to explore the new Bondi Junction shopping mall, a novelty in the early 70s. I casually parked my car in the parking area, noted the space number, and went to explore the mall. An hour or two later I returned to my car........the space was there, but the car was gone. In a panic I spent a lot of time walking around this massive car park looking without success for my (company) car. Eventually I found it. It was

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in the same space number, but simply on a different level. Another day, on my way home, I stopped on the side of the highway at St Mary's to buy a milk shake. I was chatting to the owner, and he asked about the car reversing along the 4 lane highway. I looked around....and it was my car! I must have not put the gear shift correctly into park, so it must have jumped into reverse, and so there was I madly running along the highway chasing after the car. Eventually it clipped a street sign on the other side of the road, and I was able to jump in and stop the car. How it wasn't hit by oncoming traffic I still have no idea. I was the 1st Unilever salesman to get delivery of an air-conditioned car. Boy, were the other guys jealous. The heat in a car in summer in Sydney was terrible. I loved the air-conditioning. We used to have State sales meetings every six weeks, where all the sales reps would arrive for a 2 day mini conference. I think it was as much a bonding session as a productive work environment. Most of the salesmen at the time were ex-servicemen from World War 2, and the Korean War. They were very close friends, having survived the terrors of war as young men. The culture at that time was a lot of heavy 108

drinking after work. There was only one rule at these conferences. Drink hard, but you had to be in your seat at the opening address each day. Once the conference was under way, guys would sneak outside to be sick in the toilets. But that was always considered to be OK. They had been in their seats, very green. But they were there. I stayed with Rosella for a total of eight years, and then moved to a home delivery fresh squeezed fruit juice company as a sales manager. It was there that I severely damaged my back, which eventually after 30 years forced me into retirement, and wanting to retire to a comfortable family home in the warm environment of Dumaguete, in the Philippines. The Green Jackets and Vietnam On my 20th birthday I joined the Royal Green Jackets with a view to gain fast entry to the British Army as an army officer. Normally, one would sit an exam for entry to Sandhurst, the world renowned army officer cadet school in England. Sandhurst was, and still is to a large extent a very elitist establishment for young people with just the right background, education, and family name / money to be accepted as a suitable candidate. Those who demonstrated other leadership qualities, but did not necessarily 109

hold the other prerequisite credentials had a second option available to them. Submit to six months basic training as an ordinary soldier, and then sit the entrance exam to Mons, a fast track military academy where it was possible to qualify as an officer in an additional six months. As I was already considered too old to enter Sandhurst I chose to take the Mons path. My six months as a basic army "private" was fairly uneventful, beyond upsetting Pat considerably. Her social value system willingly accepted the possibility of me becoming an army officer, but she was not at all happy that on occasions I would attend Chippenham Church for the Sunday service in my private's uniform. At the end of our standard six month training, and bear in mind that the Green Jackets was a very highly regarded regiment in the British Army, with lots of tradition and military history of bravery in war over a long period of time, we, the graduating team were tasked with a "final" war simulation experience. Over a two week period we were forced to locate and attack mock enemy establishments high in the Welsh mountains, in a location owned by the British government, known as the Brecon Beacons. In summer, this was a tough place to survive. In winter it was 110

almost impossible. Many British mountaineers use this location to train for attempts to climb Mount Everest. We had almost no sleep for two weeks, and were living outdoors, in tents and self-made dug-outs. By this time our ability to think and react quickly to dangerous situations was purposely diminished. During an ambush against an "enemy" location, all hell broke loose. We were told one of the training sergeants had been accidentally shot, and needed urgent evacuation off the mountain. In the dark, and by torch light we located the sergeant, who was covered in blood, and screaming his lungs out in pain, insisting we get him off the mountain and to the waiting army vehicles to drive him to a hospital. All of this was achieved with huge amounts of youthful stress and adrenaline. Seventeen year old cadets were fainting and being sick at the sight of so much blood, and obvious pain of the injured soldier. In addition, our stress was enhanced because this was "our" sergeant. We knew him well by this time. We loved him and hated him with equal vigour. People were crying. They thought he was about to die.............

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.............. but miracles do sometimes happen. He just sat up, removed the blood and dead sheep intestines, and asked us all what was the problem. Hadn't we seen real blood and guts before? So, joke over, we all marched back to the barracks for a hot meal and decent bed at last. We certainly had a story to tell, except we were sworn to secrecy not to tell the next batch of graduates about to suffer the same experience. Within two months I was in Sydney, Australia, ready to begin a new chapter in my life. If only the government of the day had realised my recent training, I would most likely have been on the next plane to Vietnam to participate in the last year or so of that war. Skiing outward bound in Norway I think when I was 15, and still at Uppingham School, I saw on the school noticeboard, an advertisement for senior boys to go trekking on skis up in the Arctic Circle. I went to London, and had an unsuccessful interview with a panel of ex-military officers looking for strong outdoor athletic types seeking adventure. So, instead I went to Norway with Pat Buck's son, Simon, for a 2 week intensive training camp with the Norwegian military, learning survival techniques, 112

and cross country skiing, building igloos as shelters. There were about 30 boys of similar ages, and it was pretty tough going, but it was a wonderful experience. We learned to survive in the wilderness close to the Attic Circle, and built igloos from the snow and ice. The ski-ing we learned was cross-country skiing, using very long and narrow skis, very different to downhill racing like you see on TV.

Australia in 1970 population 8 million As I write this, in 2015, I am aware that the population in Australia is around 26 million. When I was just twenty years old I left England to try to make something of myself. The population at that time was just 8 million. At the time, a third of all Australians were from Europe, or had parents that had emigrated from Europe after World War 2. Melbourne was largely full of Greek and Italian migrants. Adelaide was filled with migrants from the farms of Germany and the surrounding countryside. They were the migrants who brought the skills of winemaking with them, and are the founders of today's so successful winemaking industry.

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Around 80% of Australia's population live on the east coast. The largest city is Sydney, closely followed by Melbourne. In the 46 years or so that I lived in Australia, those are the 2 cities in which I mainly lived. Sydney has changed incredibly, growing from 3 million to 5 million, and still growing. Currently the growth is coming from Chinese migrants, riding on a tide of newly found wealth. More than a third of Sydney's residents are from Asian countries - China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Vietnam, India, Philippines. It has become the most culturally diverse and the most expensive city in the world.

University at 42 When I was 42 I moved my family to a small city about half-way between Sydney and Brisbane, right on coast, with miles and miles of golden sand beaches. This was Coffs Harbour. Vanessa and Kathleen went to the local high school, and Rhonda and I decided to attend the newly build university there. The Australian government had recently approved special financial grants to adults of any age so that they could afford to study full time for a bachelor degree of their choice. All of this was free, and all adults willing 114

to try were encouraged to do so. Of course, by the end of the 1st semester you had to pass the university level exams, just the same as 18 year old freshmen had to. At that point everyone was on an equal level. To stay at university you had to compete and hold your own. At the same time as being a full-time university student, studying for a degree in Social Science, I was holding down a full time job, and also a parttime job. I ended up in hospital with a heart attack. But, from my point of view, I had proved to myself I could achieve degree status. I just had to find a way to do a course that did not rely heavily on examinations requiring short term memory ability. All of my subjects were carefully selected to have presentations and essays to demonstrate competence. This was becoming the new norm in tertiary education in Australia, and it was a good thing. I went on to gaining a PhD honorium causa in the field of Education Administration, but of course that is another story for another time.

Uppingham By the age of twelve I had outgrown my four years at Bilton Grange Preparatory school, near 115

the city of Rugby, and I was accepted at Uppingham School in what at the time was the County of Rutland. In 1962 Uppingham was boys only. Not long after I left four years later it became co-educational. One of the "houses" which switched from being a boys house to a girls house was Constables, which I attended. You can easily look up and research the history of Uppingham on Google, so I will leave that very much to you. Suffice to say, I did not enjoy my time at Uppingham, living and studying with 600 pubescent boys, away from the influence of close family, and in an environment where sport was considered more important that qualifications.

Older sisters You know B, older sisters can be a real trial at times. Far better to be the older brother, then you can do the job properly and look out for your baby sister. That sound to me to be a much more sensible order of things. Stephanie was born on the 28th October 1946. She was almost, but not quite a war baby. She would certainly have experienced some of the privations of life with ration cards and general 116

shortages of life's little luxuries that we have all now in our complacency come to expect as just normal. I was born 4 years later in 1950. Early on Stephanie probably resented my addition to the family. An only child gets lots of attention. When I was two, I believe I climbed into her dolls pram and of course destroyed it. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think she ever forgave me. Stephanie had to work hard to achieve her personal successes. I didn't. In those days boys were favoured over girls. I was given opportunities early in life that she was not. But she was very smart, just like you, and with dedication and hard work she soon excelled at whatever it was she undertook, whether it was study or sport. She won a scholarship to Birmingham Grammar School, quite an honour. I was told she found her academic life quite a challenge, but her becoming a medical doctor demonstrated what can be achieved, even by (in those days of gender inequality) a girl. Stephanie could at an early age hold a full deck of cards in one hand, and she quickly learned how to memorise what cards her opponents had played, meaning that she almost always won. So very frustrating for a younger sibling. The same story at solitaire, cribbage, snap, scrabble.......you 117

get my meaning. How does a younger brother compete? Aunt Olive Aunt Olive lived to 106 years. She lived in a tiny village her entire life called Patrington, in the Anglican parish of Holderness, in East Yorkshire a couple of hours drive from where Pat's parents, Lottie and Isaac lived. Every Easter long weekend Bob would drive us from Birmingham in the Midlands, up to Yorkshire. It was there we always received from Bob our individual Easter eggs on Easter Sunday, followed by church, in the local church where Pat had been a Sunday school teacher, and where she originally met Philip, to whom she later married after Bob's sudden death. Part of Easter always included the drive to visit Len and Olive. They were brother and sister, never married, and lived together in a tiny cottage reputed to be rented from the Queen. As a little child I remember wondering why they always slept in separate rooms. Well, it's obvious now, but I just assumed they were married, just like everyone else. Later on Len was moved to the sofa downstairs by the old fashioned fireplace where Olive would cook and bake bread. How 118

she managed was amazing. Len had been gassed in World War 1, and I assume his lungs were badly scarred. Olive looked after him wonderfully, until the day he died. Bob was the only one who Len would allow to drive him anywhere in the car, so we would always take Len and Olive for an afternoon drive to Spurn Point to walk on the sand, and where I would try and look for bird nests in the sand. The mother birds were very skilful at hiding their eggs and new born chicks, and if you walked too close they would divert your attention by pretending to be hurt, and leading you away from their nest. Spurn Point was very famous during World War 11. It was a very long, maybe 6 kilometres, strip of land, only some 100 metres wide, at the northern opening to where the Humber estuary opened out to the dangerous North Sea. This was one of the northern staging posts in the war, from which supply and troop carrying ships would venture out at night to attempt to safely deliver their cargoes without being spotted by German U-boats, and torpedoed. There was a famous life boat station at Spurn Point where the crew of the life boats would risk their lives to save seamen in distress by rowing the boat as a team in dreadful, dangerous, stormy waters. Many times the rescuers were also lost at sea, all brave souls, 119

along with those sailors in sinking ships, whom they were desperately trying to rescue. You won't find Spurn Point any more. Over time the spit of land has eroded during storms, and now nothing is left, except memories, fond ones for me, but not so fond for those families who have more sinister memories. 28 February 2014 article taken from the BBC Spurn Point has been home to military installations since the early 19th Century. Standing at the mouth of the Humber Estuary, the narrow peninsula of Spurn Point has long been a strategically important part of the UK's defences - but none more so than during World War One. It juts 3.5 miles (6km) into the North Sea and guards entry to the ports of Hull, Grimsby and Goole. Defence installations on the point date back to the Napoleonic Wars, with a gun battery and associated barracks established there in about 1805. But, when World War One was declared on 4 August 1914, military activity expanded and came to dominate the area like it had never done before. Within 12 hours, the village of Kilnsea at the top of the peninsula found itself home to a garrison of more than 500 troops. 120

As the war continued further defences were built along Spurn Point. Those trenches, gun emplacements and other bases were then linked by a narrow gauge railway line. One Kilnsea resident Ernie Norwood, an eightyear-old schoolboy in 1914, recalled the militarisation of the area in his memoirs, published in 1997. He remembered the fear villagers felt as German Zeppelin airships flew overhead on their way to bomb Hull. "Sometimes they were only about 50 feet high when they passed over Kilnsea," he said. "The real worry was when they jettisoned their bombs on the way out." One legacy of the raids is the sound mirror, which still stands in a field just outside the village. Spurn Point had a number of military bases built during World War One. The large concave concrete dish still standing, acted as a primitive radar, amplifying engine sounds from distant Zeppelins so they could be heard by an operator, who would then send an air-raid warning inland by radio.

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SPURN POINT VILLAGE

Now a nature reserve, the fragile spit of land, is only 50m (164ft) wide at some points. Waves push the land ever southwards and many of the military installations have fallen into the sea. Historian and author Jan Crowther recalled being on a caravan holiday more than 20 years ago when the Godwin Battery, which held 9.2ins guns during WW1, was washed away. "Sitting in the caravan, there was this terrible 'earthquake' and it was one of the gun emplacements falling on the beach," she said. "They are still virtually intact. They are really quite interesting to look at." 122

However, the debris of war on the beach poses problems for the peninsula's ecosystem, according to Andrew Gibson, the reserve's manager for Yorkshire Wildlife Trust. He said the trust faced the dilemma of striking a balance between trying to preserve the military history and letting nature run its course. "The legacy of what was holding a line defending Britain is now fixing something that probably shouldn't be fixed," Mr Gibson said. "The very nature of what Spurn is means that it needs to be allowed to move. You've got these old bits of concrete dotted around on the shore. "And that affects how the waves break, how the sand moves, how the beach builds up,

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LIFE ON SPURN POINT A HUNDRED YEARS AGO

how it forms, which in turn affects how the peninsula performs to the south of us. "The hardest thing to overcome is people's perception that allowing it to move is allowing it to wash away. "Some people see the concrete as a fallen sea defence, [but it] was for military purposes, and now could well be a barrier to that movement and that change." In the front room of Aunt Olive's house stood a harmonium piano. For a young boy like me, with absolutely no musical talent at all, this was a fascinating instrument. Up at the top you carefully placed a paper roll with holes punched into it. Then you would the handle, flipped the lever, and once I was old enough, with legs long enough to touch the 2 foot pedals to alter the sound, away the organ would play. All of Olive's nephews and nieces, and their children, and even their children all over the years spanning 2 centuries, visited Patrington to pay homage to both her, and while he was alive, to Len.

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OLIVE AT 100 Olive was, by my standards ancient. Nobody could be as old as her. Until she was well into her 90's she never cut her hair, always wearing it pinned up in a bun. To have a bath she had to fetch water from the pump outside, boil water on the wood stove in the living room, and then slowly fill the bath tub. Baths, by necessity of effort required, and by the freezing conditions in winter, were weekly. For some reason, little boys at a young age don't smell. They just smell of "boy", quite unique. But they do get so very dirty of course. Olive and her neighbours, who were somehow related to each other, kept chickens and 125

pigs, and Len had a vegetable garden he rented from the local council, where he grew huge amounts of wonderful vegetables to supplement their meagre income. Olive's relatives owned the village butcher shop, and Timothy, about the same age as Stephanie, was a bit of a "lad". He was reputed to be quite interested in her, but of course nothing came of it. Before World War 1, Len was the grocer boy, and he would ride in the pony cart, and later on a bicycle, and even later in a delivery van, to help deliver groceries to the homes of the villagers, as well as more wealthy farm owners further away. Every Christmas Olive would bake a fruit cake for each of her nephews and nieces, how she afforded such a thing I still can't imagine. She would send these by post about a month before Christmas, and in our house at least, there would be great excitement when the package wrapped in brown paper, and tied with string, would safely arrive. Bob would usually add a good measure of brandy and let it soak until Christmas Day. Nobody could make a cake like Olive ! Aunt Olive had a genuine feather bed, with the mattress made by hand from baby goose feathers. Was it hand-made? Who knows? When you 126

climbed into that bed the mattress enveloped you completely. It was warm and snuggly, and for a little boy at least, it was heaven. Even on the coldest of nights, it was amazingly warm. But just in case, before we went to bed Olive would take the already white hot coles and ash from the fire, andput them into copper bed warming pans, and place them carefully in the middle of the bed, so when we were ready to go upstairs we popped straight into a snug warm bed, that stayed warm all night. And, in case you ae wondering, there was an old-fashioned chamber pot under the bed, just in case you wanted to do a wee in the middle of the night. It was always much too cold and scary to brave the outdoor toilet in the dark. Peter Marritt. The boy sailor who died â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;doing his bitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; at just 15

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JENNY BUNN Pictured, 15-year-old Peter Marritt in his Merchant Navy uniform about to set sail on his first and last voyage 70 years ago. Jenny Bunn, his niece, is seen at Peter’s grave in Tromsø, Norway. FROM the monstrous statistic of 60 million killed in the Second World War comes a tragic tale of a 15-year-old English boy that gives a human face to the carnage. I came across it in a very good current edition of the Hampstead Parish Church magazine. “The boy was named Peter Marritt who lied about his real age of 15 in an adolescent fervour 128

to do his bit for the war effort. Peter, a muchloved choir boy, volunteered for the Merchant Navy and in his first voyage in 1942 came to disaster when the ship ran aground off the coast of Norway. Twenty-eight of the crew got ashore in the freezing weather but after several days lying in a hut, Peter died from “exposure”. Only nine of the crew survived. His parents would have felt the agony of his death more intensely for, as the years went by, they would have felt more and more guilty that they had allowed him to enter the Merchant Navy knowing he was underage. But it was only in recent months – 70 years after his death – that members of the family, in fact his niece, Jenny Bunn and husband Derek, a retired GP, their daughter Juliet, as well as her sister Celia, were able to visit Peter’s grave that has been beautifully kept by people who live near the cemetery in Tromsø, known as the English cemetery – and it is this which she writes about in the church magazine.

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“It is a beautiful and peaceful place,” she writes. “We read his epitaph and placed a lighted candle on the earth… I could only wish that my mother and her mother Lottie could have been there.” When I rang Jenny at her Hocroft Avenue, Childs Hill home I soon realised that I was stirring up painful memories, but she gallantly wanted to talk about her brave “uncle Peter”. Her visit to his grave in Norway had put some sort of closure on the family grief but my telephone call made her want to contact her family for letters and anything saved by Peter’s parents that had been found after the death of her mother some years ago. She sent them to me – a newspaper clipping about the ordeal of the survivors, a letter sent after the war pointing out, as kindly as possible, that Peter’s mother could be “assured” that he died peacefully on November 22, 1942; and then, most poignantly, the last letters sent by Peter before he set sail for the first and last time – letters to his mother, to his “Mum and Dad” and to sister “Pat” in which he points out he was about to sail. “I cannot tell you anything about the ship or where we are 130

going, and when we are going or anything like that, because the letter as you know will be censored.â&#x20AC;? Pat loved her younger brother Peter, and it would not be unfair to say that she adored him. She never forgave Lottie or Isaac from signing the paper for the Merchant Navy, knowing full well the lies they were telling about his age, as well as condoning his signing up to "do his bit". Young men can be incredibly headstrong and pretend to be so brave when their mates all go off to join a war. In all wars people get killed or maimed horrifically. They never come back the same men who went away to war. They have always done this, and I guess they always will. Please don't make the same mistake yourself, B. When I was 20 years old I had just left some training in the British Army, headed for Australia. I could have easily volunteered for active duty in Vietnam. Regardless of coming back alive, I most certainly would never have come back the same man. Bravery is a strange word used to describe peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actions, especially in war time. Is "doing one's bit" an act of bravery or one of foolishness? 131

Most men who survived action in war would not describe themselves as brave. In fact they would more likely say they were so terrified before action they wet themselves. There is no shame in that. Most acts of war time bravery come from bravado, exuberance, testosterone, and wanting to be somehow better (dead?) than the guy standing next to them. Forget about what you see in Hollywood war movies. They are mostly (the 2nd World War ones at least) driven by the need for propaganda. Most men lucky enough to return alive admit to their foolishness at the time of volunteering, and regret that decision, knowing that they came back as changed men forever. As much as my uncle Peter most likely died bravely, he would have been a typical teenager. He would have been terrified out of his mind. He would have looked to his ship's captain for comfort. His mother Lottie strongly argued the captain was a coward, and that he abandoned his crew. Every single man on that island, regardless of age or experience, would have been terrified. Many would have looked to God as they finally froze to death. In that atmosphere, Peter died, never to experience a full and rewarding life. Lottie lived 132

out the rest of her life full of bitterness and regret. Sadly, nobody seems to know or care about what Peter's father Isaac thought or said at the time. Was this the real reason he slid down a path of idleness and drunkenness? For the War Office to say Peter died peacefully is an outrage. He wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t blown to pieces by bullets or bombs, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the only difference. Freezing to death is hardly peaceful. The years I used to stay with Reggie Sims in Hornsea as a young adolescent, most afternoons I would do my duty and go for a long walk with Lottie, my grandmother. We would always walk down towards the promenade along the sea shore. She would talk to me wistfully always about Peter, almost as if he were still alive. We would arrive at the memorial near the beach, and look at the engraved book with all the names of the servicemen and women who died in the war. Very occasionally I would witness her seeing the page open with Peter's name on it. She always looked forward to that day. She had enormous pride about Peter, and was happy to tell me stories about when he was a little boy. She confirmed he was Pat's favourite, who would do anything for him. Lottie also told me bad stories about her 133

belief that Peter and his shipmates only died because the ship's captain did not look after his men properly. She was very bitter about this, and was never willing to forgive him, also a local man from Hornsea. In my innocence and youth I promised Lottie that someday I would take her to visit Peter's grave in Tromso. I never did of course, but at the time I certainly wanted to. It is a good thing that at least my cousins Jenny and Derek, as well as Juliet and Celia, were at least able, unwittingly, to do what I had promised so many years ago. The last time I visited Lottie was shortly after my marriage to Rhonda, maybe November 1974. She had by that time moved to a small apartment in Hull, and we talked about the possibility of still making the trip to Peter's grave. Lottie told me to keep the money, as it would be very expensive, and she was much too old and frail to go herself anyway.

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CHARLOTTE MARRITT (NEE) PRECIOUS KNOWN AS LOTTIE Heart attacks and running away Bob died of a sudden heart attack right in front of me, on Pat's 46th birthday, a Saturday. I was 17, and we were merely chatting. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Bob was lying under the blanket. The date would have been January 25th, 1968. We had both been to the factory in the morning, and I think we drove home together in one car. Bob had not been feeling well, and decided to have a rest after lunch. We were all planning to go out for dinner for Pat's birthday. Stephanie was at medical school in London. I don't know why she had not come down for the weekend. 135

Bob and Pat had been building a new house at a small village nearby, Little Aston. The house was almost completed. The gardens were beautiful, and Pat was excited to be able to turn them into something of her unique style and taste. I think Bob was proud of his success, as shown by such a beautiful new family home, but he and I rarely discussed its progress. I remember Pat had some very definite ideas about how my room should be designed. I was very keen to have large loudspeakers build directly into the bedroom walls, and I had a number of discussions with the builder about how to do this. Pat was very keen to have a massive wall to wall floor to ceiling window at the garden end of the living room. The builder was not at all enthusiastic, but he eventually agreed. Pat's vision of bringing the outside garden into the living room was very advanced thinking at the time. After Bob died, Pat ended up taking the builder to court over that window. There was a large insurance policy tied to the house, in case Bob died. The arrangement was that if such a thing should happen, then the mortgage would be paid out, and the builder would get the house. He insisted that Pat's window devalued the house to a potential buyer. Pat eventually lost the court 136

case, and took a loss. The builder then immediately sold the house to a new buyer, for a lot more than the insurance value, so Pat felt, probably rightly so, that she had been cheated. After Bob and I had been chatting for a while on that fateful Saturday afternoon, he suddenly sat up in bed, gasped for air, and fell back, presumably already dead. Shocked, and not knowing really what to do I yelled for Pat to call the ambulance, and I got Bob out of the bed and onto the floor. He was on Pat's side of the bed talking with me, but in getting him out of the bed I realise now I had him on the floor next to his side of the bed. Sometimes we do strange things without even noticing. I gave Bob mouth to mouth, and beat his chest as hard as I could. I thought he had started breathing again, but I may be mistaken. His lungs could have just been expelling air. By this time the ambulance crew had arrived and they took over. I joined Pat downstairs in a state of shock and disbelief. Later that evening Stephanie arrived from London by train, and in the evening a close friend of Pat, Pat Buck arrived with a cooked chicken for dinner. In situations like that one rarely thinks about food, so Pat Buck's arrival was very welcome, even though we probably did not eat 137

much anyway. The rest of the weekend was a blur, as was the following week. Bill Bradley accompanied me to the funeral home, and we together made all the necessary arrangements for the funeral later that week. I don't remember the actual date. In reality it was Bill who made all the family decisions. I am guessing that Ianthe paid for everything, but I don't know. A cremation had been arranged, why I have no idea. It must have been Bill's decision. I was never asked, Pat maybe also. She probably just accepted what had been decided. Stephanie was very upset and annoyed. Rightly so, she should also have been asked. I do remember a few weeks later Pat asking me about where would be best to scatter Bob's ashes. She liked the idea of taking them to Ian's salmon river in Wales. I have a suspicion that Ian vetoed this idea, so as far as I know Bob's ashes are scattered in the roses at the cremation centre's gardens, with none of his family there to see. My last impression of a very unhappy and sad day, was looking through the back window of the car and seeing black smoke coming out of the crematorium chimney. I remember thinking to myself "how inappropriate". I think Stephanie went back to London immediately after the funeral. I imagine she was required to attend important classes. So, 138

Pat and I were left alone in an empty house. It was painful for both of us. She started smoking, and talked about getting a job. It was a confusing and difficult time. Exactly 20 years later I suffered a major heart attack. By then I was 46. This time, it was on Rhonda's birthday. I decided to hand mix in the wheelbarrow a bag of cement, to repair some edging around the garden at the front of the house. As the bag burst open, a cloud of dust filled my lungs and I couldn't breathe. I managed to call for help, and Rhonda drove me to the local doctor's surgery. I was immediately admitted to Liverpool hospital, as at that time we were living at Ingleburn, near Campbelltown. After some tests the staff in ER were certain that I had in fact had a heart attack, so I was admitted as a patient. Heart attacks, B, or even the thought of having a heart attack is something very personal, and extremely confronting. Everyone reacts differently to such a situation. A heart attack is certainly life changing. When I was your age the life expectancy of a man in England was 46 years. It is now 82 years and 6 months. By the time you are an old man, it will probably be close to 100. Most illnesses men die of today when they are over 50 did not occur in those days. Men 139

were mostly already dead. Bob, at that time was a very heavy smoker, 2 packets of 20 Senior Service unfiltered was his average. Because of the war, most men in those days smoked. Bob was no exception. When I had my heart attack I literally ran away. I could not cope with the reality of such a situation. I had spent most of my life convinced that like Bob I would be dead at 50. This caused me to make some rash decisions in life that I have now come to regret. I should never have rushed into a marriage at such a young age. I should have spent more time concentrating on career development. But, there I was, married with 2 children, living in Sydney. Kathleen was already a teenager, and with her Autism and her emotional problems, she was hard to cope with. I was a partner in a liquor importing business in Sydney by then, and so I decided that I would tour the vineyards of Spain with Jose Fernandez, one of my business partners. We flew Qantas to London, and as I knew the Captain, I spent most of the trip drinking French Champagne on the flight deck with the pilots and crew. Experiencing the takeoff from Bangkok airport in the middle of the night, watching from the cockpit was an

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extraordinary remember.

event

which

will

always

I spent a whole year avoiding my illness, at great risk to my life, and did a lot of international travel. On my last trip that year I went to Hong Kong for a wine expo, where I collapsed in the airport terminal, then to Shanghai, then to Tsing Tao City, which is where the Japanese army invaded China during World War 11. On the way back I suffered another heart attack on board the flight, again on Qantas. More detail of what actually happened is explained in my 1st book, "Heart Attacks, Cholesterol, and You", which was written and published shortly after my by-pass heart surgery in Sydney, undoubtedly saving my life. Attention Deficit Disorder, Autism, and Kathleen B, as I have explained already to you, you have two half-sisters, from my marriage to Rhonda. Two years after Vanessa was born, Kathleen was born, also 6 weeks early. After taking her home from hospital it became apparent that she was suffering from reflux, caused by an underdeveloped reflux muscle in her chest, directly below her lungs. This caused her to be 141

sick immediately after every meal. Rhonda, her mother, was very distressed by this, and worried that Kathleen would be under-nourished. Kathleen was breast fed until around nine or ten months of age. We were still living in Penrith, Vanessa was two, and I was busy working for Mr. Juicy Fruit Juices. About a year later I had my accident at work, which ultimately changed my life. When Kathleen was about nine months old, one day she was being fed in her high chair in the kitchen. I am not really quite sure what happened exactly, as I only found out about it many years later. Kathleen was possibly not strapped correctly in her seat, and she somehow climbed out of the chair and fell head first to the floor, while her mother must have been distracted. It can happen to any mother instantly, and I bear no malice. Raising little children is fraught with danger all day long, so accidents easily happen. When Kathleen was around two and a half she started "hand flapping" and waving her arms around whenever she got excited. These days this is well known as an early sign of autism, triggering the response in adults to get this checked out.

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Instead, at the time, it was fashionable for the medical profession to go out of its way to NOT label children with disabilities. Instead, Kathleen was incorrectly diagnosed with ADD, or Attention Deficit Disorder, a newly discovered malady which became so popular in the western world that one in three children, and especially boys, were labelled as having ADD if they did not have perfect behaviour, especially at school. Children who got easily excited, wriggled in their seat in the classroom, got emotionally upset easily, were diagnosed, and a new industry was born. They were prescribed Ritalin, a wonder drug supposed to calm anxious and excitable children, and improve their intelligence and behaviour. Kathleen was misdiagnosed as having ADD? She really was MILDLY AUTISTIC, but the medical profession refused to admit to the truth because they did not want to damage her potential. If she had been diagnosed correctly at age two, and the Australian Government had been allowed to provide its full range of support services, which were freely available at the time, Kathleen, and especially her parents, would have been much better off. Autism can be treated. Albert Einstein was autistic. He did not have ADD is popularly 143

believed. Most autistic children are gifted and special human beings. Putting it simply, they have their special gift locked inside their brain. It is just waiting to come out. With special training, both for the child as well as the parents, autistic children can demonstrate incredible skills. When Kathleen was around ten years old, on a long road trip from Melbourne to Adelaide, she declared as I was driving the car "mum, was Vanessa born on a ..........day?" It turned out she was spot on with her calculation, however that was achieved. She revealed similar mathematical skills on a number of other occasions. Thanks to medical intervention, and its obsession with ADD, Kathleen developed other more challenging behaviours which were less accepted by society that was autism. This is a travesty. Rhonda, as a wonderful mother, did her best to protect and shield Kathleen as she grew older. It alienated Vanessa, and made her feel less important in the family, and it completely isolated me. The church group (small sect, called Christadelphian, with little or no Christian values or ethics) were not able to step in and help in a satisfactory manner, schools offered little better, but were ready to find fault with and criticise our family unit. Close family members offered no solutions. Kathleen now lives, as she always has, 144

with her mother, with the benefit of an Australian government pension.

Bob's cars, and my cars I rather suspect Bob liked cars. After the second World War it was rare to own a car. In the 1950s when I was a little boy, it seemed to me that Bob drove big round cars that were quite luxurious. This was mostly because Ian Heath liked big expensive cars. Ian's first cars after the war must have been Rovers, because he almost always handed them down to Bob whenever he decided to get a newer model. Bob enjoyed driving most of the range of cars ever produced in England by the Rover company, based in Coventry. The last old-fashioned design he drove was the Rover 110S, if my memory is correct. When I was about 13 he got his first real "new" car, straight from the Rover factory. It was the very advanced, at the time, Rover 2000, with an all aluminium engine, and very sporty body lines. I learned to drive in that car, beginning around 15 years old, on disused wartime RAF runways. Bob was always very cautious about my ability to drive. Pat would sit in a deckchair on the tarmac, watch, and read a book. 145

My first car was a second hand Austin 1100, and it was really an Ianthe company car. I got my driving license shortly after my seventeenth birthday, and I am pretty sure Bob and Pat were worried I would kill myself in that car. When Bob and Ian would drive the Bentley S3 that Ian owned, I would follow them a few hours later to the salmon river in Wales in my Austin. With teenager exuberance I would show off a little and declare how many minutes I could drive from Birmingham to Wales. Ian, as I was told later, simply did not believe I could do it in that time, and he even tried to time himself, coming nowhere near my speedy time. Of course, what he evidently did not realise was that an automatic Bentley S3 cannot possibly corner and manoeuvre around bends and small village roads in quite the same way as I could in a small manual car that I had learned to drive like a racing car. Looking back over 50 years in the workplace, I guess I was pretty lucky. I probably drove as many as 40 brand new cars, so I was able to closely follow modern advances in car design and performance. Because almost all of these cars were company cars, by default they were mostly boring middle class cars, typical of those 146

driven by sales people. They were often huge American style produced by Ford and General Motors for the Australian market, where driving long distances was commonplace. Engines were by todays standard, enormous, big six cylinder "yank tanks", with fold down rear seats that would allow you to sleep in fully stretched out, or load up with company stock. My Austin 1100 cost six hundred pounds. My first Australian company car in 1971 was a Holden, and cost brand new $3,000.00. MS charity work Pat and Bob grew up in an era when women were not expected to work, unless severe financial circumstances forced the woman to get a job. Pat trained to be a nurse in wartime conditions, and in fact she was dux of her class. Clearly, Pat was very bright. All her sisters also became nurses. It was right at the end of war that she completed her training, and then she met and married Bob. Bob had very Victorian fixed views about the role of a wife in a marriage. She was to look after her man, have children, and be good at housework, in that order. He was lucky enough to have a wellpaid job all his working life, so from his perspective, Pat was not required or asked to work, regardless of her ability, qualifications, or 147

intelligence. She quietly accepted her role in the family unit, but as she grew older she founded she needed something additional. Despite some considerable protest from Bob she became involved in voluntary work visiting people heavily disabled, living in nursing homes especially designed to cater to the needs of muscular sclerosis MS victims. Being interested in painting and poetry she shared her love of these hobbies with some of her new found friends. She also occasionally arranged for some to even visit our home in Sutton Coldfield, where she was very proud to show off her rose garden.

Philip and Pat By the time Pat was a teenager she had become a Sunday school teacher at Hornsea Anglican church, her home town in Yorkshire. The curate overseeing Sunday school before the War was Philip Snow, a newly invested young priest, straight from Christchurch College in Oxford. He had started his academic life there at Worksop School, Worksop, Nottinghamshire. He moved through preparatory school, public school, and became a Greek classical scholar at university 148

level, studying at Christchurch College, Oxford University. After joining the priesthood he was sent to Hornsea, and then as vicar of Chippenham Church, in Wiltshire, where in later years he was made a Canon. Chippenham was a successful market town. The church very much reflects the level of income the farmers generated, and it now holds more than 1000 worshipers, so is the size of a small cathedral. After Bob died, on Pat's 46th birthday, a Saturday, Pat must have struggled to cope, and one day, mostly out of curiosity, decided on a whim to look up in Crockford's clergy directory her old curate from Hornsea, and see what had happened to him. She then tracked him down to Chippenham and made contact. She accepted an invitation to stay for the weekend, whereupon she discovered he had remained single. Did God play a hand, or was it fate that brought them together? By the end of the weekend Pat returned to our house in Sutton Coldfield, whereupon she revealed to me that Philip had proposed marriage to her. Before accepting his offer she decided to ask for my blessing before giving him her reply. I wonder why she needed to ask me. Why didn't she ask Stephanie? It will remain a mystery, but it's quite likely that as the token male, I was 149

required to be asked. Nowadays, as romantic as that may seem, such a gesture would be preposterous. By the time I was fifteen or sixteen she became friends with the local mayor and his wife, and tried to persuade Bob to allow her to become a local magistrate. Bob was quite adamant. His response was a very definite no. Volunteering for MS was one thing, but sitting on a magistrateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bench was on an entirely different level. How times now have changed, in relation to shared family responsibilities, personal growth, hobbies, and the roles of men and women in today's society. I did, however, don my top and tails and walk up the aisle with Pat in Chippenham church on their wedding day. Pat and Philip were married ten years before she developed a brain tumour and died in the space of about six weeks in December 1978. A couple of years later Philip came and visited me and my growing family in Sydney, Australia for about a month. During that time we were climbing on board a speedboat owned by my wife's father, and Philip slipped and fell while getting onto the bow. His balls managed to get tangled on the bowline cleat, and he hurt himself quite badly. When he returned to Oxford he had

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an operation to remove one of his balls, as the damage was quite severe.

PAT AND PHILIP SNOW 1969

Pat and Philip shared 10 happy years together, half at Chippenham, and half as retirees in Headington, Oxford. When I was in my midtwenties and living in Sydney I visited Pat and Philip for a few weeks on holiday. Like Stephanie 151

and David, Pat loved walking. One afternoon, on a cold winter's day she and I went for a long walk through a quaint country village a few miles outside Chippenham. We were talking about house prices in the area, and I think she may have been trying to attract my attention to buying and renovating an old farm house in that area, and wanted to make me aware of the commercial possibilities. We stopped at an old house, completely overgrown with brambles, and almost falling down. The place looked very much abandoned. Suddenly Pat decided she needed to do a wee, and wandered into the overgrown garden to find a secluded spot. Just as she got up to return to me, a window upstairs was flung open, and a very angry man yelled at us both to get off his property. Of course, we did just that. Pat then giggled to me and declared "well, if only he knew, he has just ordered the local vicar's wife off his property as she was in the middle of weeing in his front garden" The press would have a field day!â&#x20AC;? A few years later Pat confided in me that she and Philip had a very strong sexual relationship during their ten years together. She told me, with a little pride, I suspect, about a time on one of Philip's Monday's off work. They felt they had to 152

go right away from the vicarage on his days off, because his parishioners would never show due respect to the vicar needing to have time out, and would knock constantly on the front door. On one of these occasions, on a long and hot summer's day they decided to have a picnic in an isolated farmer's field under a big shady oak tree. After a little food, and wine to wash it down, things became somewhat amorous, and they made love right there in the open for all the world and God to see. She confided in me the experience was wonderful and full of surprise for both of them, proof no doubt that clergy are also very human. Not so many years later Philip hit his head quite hard on the overhead kitchen cupboard doors in his house causing internal bleeding. He was rushed to the Radcliffe Hospital, and a few days later he died. He was 70 years old. I doubt he would have been bothered about death at all. For him, he would be there with his beloved Pat, so all would be fine. Somewhere along the way, in Philip's life, he acquired a Breecher's bible, most likely given to him by a grateful parishioner. The Breecher's bible was so called because in Genesis it refers to Adam in his embarrassment putting on breeches made from figee leaves. These bibles are very 153

rare, and worth a lot of money. In my youth I rather coveted that bible, but quite rightly it was passed down to one of his brother's children, Richard Snow. From the bio data below, you will see that Philip was an accomplished sportsman as well as an academic. Pat always rather hoped he would be made a bishop one day, but I don't think he had any aspirations in that area.

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PHILIP AS A YOUNG MAN

1929 Lower Certificate in the Oxford and Cambridge Schools Examination Board, 2nds Cricket, 155

Donated 1 pound towards furnishing the new school library 1930 1sts hockey – P.Snow and R.R.Sands “have both played inside-forward; possess clever stick-work, but do not get a move on enough; but are both most promising” House 1st team for rugby. Awarded School certificate, 1st cricket – “A difficult bat to dislodge, but he needs to cultivate some scoring strokes; his fielding is good and his bowling useful” Appointed house prefect of Lion in 1930, 1st rugby –“stand-off half-handles well and opens up the game; his tackling is improving; he needs to cultivate a little more pace off the mark and in his passing, but with experience should do very well” Played 4 games for 2nds rugby as well, Servant (Of Lady Sneerwell) and Trip (servant to Charles) in “The School For Scandal” school play 1931

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House rugby team Mountgarret, 1st Hockey – “Snow, at inside-right, has played clever games; when he learns to shoot he will be invaluable” , Officer Training Corps (O.T.C) – promoted to lance-corporal House rugby colours 1931, Dorm Run team Awarded School certificate, 1st Cricket – “An excellent opening batsman with a stern defence. Has played several useful innings. Slow bowler with a puzzling flight; good field at point” Below is a picture of the 1st cricket in 1931 (back row, last on the right)

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1st rugby – “Stand-off half-a reliable link with the three-quarter line; opens the game well and his defence is sound”, O.T.C – promoted to corporal 1932 House rugby team, 1st hockey –“Snow (ma.) has proved a brainy inside left and he has scored many goals' by his intelligent backing up and perseverance, in addition to making openings for the other forwards”, “Congratulations to R. Burton, P. Snow, H. S. Eacott and C. A. B. Slack on their performance last holiday for the Yorkshire Public Schools hockey eleven against a strong Yorkshire side. Burton and Snow scored two of the Schools’ three goals” Awarded the Greek prize, Awarded the higher certificate in the Oxford and Cambridge Schools Examination Board , 1st cricket – “Snow and Burton have been a great success as an opening pair, and have on three occasions put on over 100 runs for the first wicket”, “The most reliable bat on the side; has hardly ever failed us and has quickened up his rate of scoring considerablyprobably best innings against the M. C. C. On the hard wickets his slow bowling has not proved very successful but his fielding has been as good as ever” 158

•

In Nottinghamshire seconds for hockey

•

Played as Polonious, Lord Chamberlain in the school play “Hamlet” one dramatic critic wrote: “With P. Snow as Polonius, I definitely disagreed. A man so senile and doddering as his interpretation would never have been allowed to remain in high office in the state, and Polonius should have been a dignified old man endowed with such stores of experience that he cannot take in anything fresh, and so becomes an intolerable bore with his endless references to the dead past in his life. And he should avoid commencing every sentence on a shrill note and nodding his head too much”

•

Captain of the first XVI rugby team: “stand-off half, good hands but weakness is in standing still when taking his passes, which he generally gives well; must develop his kicking more. Has captained the side very well on and off the field.”

Promoted to C.Q.M.S in the O.T.C, Captain of the school 1933 159

Captain of the 1st XVI hockey team: “Snow, at inside left, has captained the side well. He is a clever dribbler and a good shot from all angles”, Won the Her Grace the Duchess of Portland prize on prize day, Won the Sixth form general knowledge prize, Won an Oxford and Cambridge Schools Examination Boards higher certificate , Got a County Major Scholarship in Classics to Christ Church Oxford, Vice captain of 1st XVI cricket team: “had a poor season with the bat, probably owing to his eyesight, but since batting in glasses has run into his old form again , and should make plenty of runs; scores much faster this year, and his fielding is excellent” Elected a member of the Old Boys (old Worksopians) committee , Was in the Oxford Freshmen’s Hockey trial OBITUARY Canon Philip Snow. Born 17th July 1913 in Rochdale. First son of Rev Arthur Edwin Snow. Thought to have attended Wakefield Grammar School for a time then from 1928 to 1933 Worksop College, a substantial public school in Nottinghamshire with a long history and where, as the son of a clergyman, his father paid no fees or greatly reduced fees. Was in Mountgarret 160

House (formerly Lion House) where he was very much The Renaissance Man (i.e. excelled in everything) with skills in rugby (in 1932 was captain of the first XVI rugby team), hockey (in 1933 was captain of the 1st XVI hockey team), and cricket in which he was a strong member of the 1st team where he was a reliable batsman (in1933 was vice captain of the 1st XVI cricket team), private, lance-corporal, corporal then Company Quartermaster Sergeant in the Officerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Training Corps. Became school captain. Very gifted academically: awarded the Greek prize, 6th form general knowledge prize & other prizes. Got a County Major Scholarship in Classics to Christ Church College Oxford. Attended Christchurch College, Oxford University, for his first degree (2nd class degree classics with modern languages) then Cuddesdon College for his training for ordination. He was a curate at Hornsea with Goxhill 1939-1943 then a senior curate at Wakefield Cathedral 1943-1946 then he became Vicar of 1,000 year old St Andrews Church Chippenham and the country church of Tytherton Lucas from the 23rd November 1946 to his 65th birthday on 17th July 1978: 32 years (and of St.Peter, Lowden 19461955 after which it became a separate parish). 161

Chaplain to Chippenham Hospitals 1949-1978, Honorary Chaplain to the Bishop of Bristol 19531964 and was an Honorary Canon of Bristol Cathedral on 8.2.1958 to 1978 and thereafter Canon Emeritus. He had surprised everyone by marrying a widow Patricia Hill nee Maritt (whom he had met when he was the curate at Hornsea but with whom he had lost touch) (whose husband Bob Hill she had married in 1945 but he had died suddenly of a coronary in 1968). All of Philip's sermons were written in ancient Greek, but given on Sundays in English ! Within 24 hours of having met Pat again in 1968, he had proposed marriage! She had 2 children of her own with whom he enjoyed an excellent relationship, namely, (1) Dr. Stephanie Hill born 28.10.1946 (medical doctor then clergy woman) who married Dr. David Bullock born 1946 (medical general practitioner) and had three children Ralph, Emily and Laura and (2) Dr. Jeremy Hill born 3.9.1950 who married firstly Rhonda two children Vanessa born 1977 and Kathleen born 1980) and secondly Conchita (one child Nathaniel born 11th July 2006), and thirdly Mary Joy Cuenca on 23rd July 2015. Ralph has a civil partner Jamie Bradshaw. Emily is married to Mark Kilshaw and has 2 children 162

Phoebe (born Sept 2006) and Amy (born February 2008). Laura is married to Andrew Hill and has one child Rosemary (born November 2009). The Reverend Canon Philip Snow retired on 17th July 1978 (his 65th birthday), moved to 2 Horwood Close, Headington, Oxford and died on the 5th July 1984 at Radcliffe Infirmary, Oxford, aged almost 71 years old, the cause of death being “Intracranial Haemorrhage”. [D.Cert]. His funeral service was at St. Andrew’s Church, Chippenham on 13th July 1984. His wife Patricia had pre-deceased him having died on the 17th December 1978 aged only 55 years. The remains of both are buried in a plot at the Tytherton Lucas churchyard. There is a horizontal grave-stone in the grass and a plaque on the wall in the little church. A Nave Altar was later dedicated to his name in St Andrews. Achievements: first in the country to sweep away pews and replace with comfortable stackable chairs, replaced his old rambling vicarage with a modern bungalow vicarage, and had an audience with Pope John Paul 2 whom he greatly admired in St.Peter’s Square, the Vatican, where he received a blessing, just weeks before Pat's death.

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Letters to Nathaniel no 6 Books

BOOKS I WOULD SELECT TO START A PERSONAL LIBRARY Hello B. I thought it might be fun to reveal to you some of the books that I loved as a child, as a teenager, and as an adult. The love of reading and owning 164

books was instilled in me at a very young age. Pat was a regular member of the local library, and she would go there, taking me on many occasions, to select books for both her and me to read at home. Like most young children, I did not initially share her enthusiasm, and it took a while for me to learn to actually enjoy my reading choices. Reading a good book has many benefits. It improves one's literacy skills, develops comprehension and memory skills. It also allows te reader the freedom to explore the story from a personal level that only the individual reader comprehends. Reading, and loving books eventually becomes a personal odyssey into one's individual imagination, and the fun and benefits can be far reaching. So, this is my personal list and love, but not in any particular order....... ALL THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS ALL THE ARTHUR RANSOME SERIES OF SWALLOWS AND AMAZONS ALL OF CHARLES DICKENS ALL OF SHAKESPEARE 165

ALL THE BIGGLES ADVENTURE SERIES ALL OF CONAN DOYLE'S SHERLOCK HOLMES ALL OF D.H. LAWRENCE ANY BIOGRAPHY OR AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF ADVENTURERS, POLITICIANS. SPORTS PEOPLE, MUSICIANS. UNCLE TOM'S CABIN HUCKLEBERRY FINN LAWRENCE OF ARABIA TOLYSOY'S WAR AND PEACE DOSTOYEVSKY ANNA KARENINA LORD OF THE RINGS LORD OF THE FLIES LION, WITCH AND WARDROBE WATERSHIP DOWN PETER PAN THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA MOBY DICK 166

Letters to Nathaniel 7 The Power of 5 When I was as school, and especially in adult life, I was expected to memorise many things just as a part of school life. Intelligence in those days was measured by how much information a person could memorise, and then repeat back to the teacher parrot fashion. We now understand, thankfully, that the ability to memorise and regurgitate is no indicator of intelligence at all. Intelligence is measured by the ability to think about information and gained knowledge, and then to use it in a way that has purpose and meaning. Critical thinking and evaluative skills are also highly desired. Of course, if you have good short term memory also, then that can be valuable, but it is not essential. 167

I have an incredible long term memory. I could not write this book without that skill. I have a very poor short term memory, so I have had to develop skills that compensate for this loss. To this end, I have developed a way to help people at all levels of skill and competence, to be able to either write an essay, make a speech with minimal or no notes at all, and to make a presentation in front of a large audience with complete and absolute confidence. This technique is also very good for studying for an exam. I have been told that this is similar to "mind mapping". This may well be true, but I have not researched it. Here is how it is done........... Firstly, think of your topic. Then think of 5 important things you can say about that topic, and list them either in bullet point form, or on 5 separate postcards. You may want to see the topic as your hand, and the 5 subs headings as your 5 fingers. Then break each of these 5 sub headings into 5 sub-sub headings. This gives you 25 separate things to say or write about. If each of these is a 2 minute description, then you have already developed a 50 minute speech or presentation. 168

Alternatively, if each sub-sub is 50 words or 5 sentences of 10 words each, then you have already written 750 words. If you need to study or revise for an exam the same process applies. Typically, pick a chapter, then for every page choose 5 things that grab your attention. Write down one sentence only in bullet point form. Keep doing this for every page in the chapter. If there are 10 pages, then you will have 50 topics to study in greater depth. The key, of course is the number 5. Almost everyone can remember 5 things, probably without notes. Keep everything in manageable bytes of 5 and with a litle practice it is not too hard to deliver that 50 minute speech "off the cuff", and without notes. I have tested my theory on 3rd and 4th year trainee teachers, and it works. It took me a lifetime to find a way about my own inability to memorise short term. Here is the solution. Clearly, someone like you who already has a wonderful God given ability to memorise facts and information, can take my Power of 5 to another academic and performance level.

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Letters to Nathaniel 8 Dearest Nathaniel

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I believe it is important that one day, when you read this book as a grown up, with the ability to be your own man with your own independent ability to reason, you will come to understand the damage that has been done, and the harm that will have come from that choice. Right now, I have been diagnosed with unstable angina. Two weeks ago I had a mild heart attack. The doctors are very concerned about my ability to handle the obvious stress that is being caused by your own mother filing such damaging and unprovable charges against me, with what appears to be the sole aim of preventing me from ever seeing you again. The Republic Act 9262 of the Philippines was passed into law in 2004, by Gloria Arroyo, the then president of the country. It reflects very strongly the history of violence in this country by men towards women and children. It is strongly biased, and makes no similar allowance for battered men, husbands, fathers of children, no matter how obvious that violence may have been. It contravenes the Human Rights Commission, violates the United Nations international laws, and is gender biased, to the entire exclusion of men. There is evidence in the United Kingdom, for example, that 40% of domestic violence cases 171

actually reported to the police are women abusing men. I am not going to criticise the original purpose of this R.A.9262 law, however I am going to ask you to be objective and draw your own conclusions as to its effect when women are advised to use it solely for the purpose of punishing men. Additionally, I have included a copy of the Philippine Family Code 211. I make no comment as to my opinion of bias for or against gender. When you are old enough, as an educated man, you will, I am sure, have the ability to form your own conclusions as to how this has affected us as individuals, and as a family.

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CONCHITA BECOMES AUSTRALIAN

REPUBLIC ACT NO. 9262 AN ACT DEFINING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND THEIR CHILDREN, PROVIDING FOR PROTECTIVE MEASURES FOR VICTIMS, PRESCRIBING PENALTIES THEREFORE, AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES.

Section 1. Short Title.- This Act shall be known as the "Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004." Sec. 2. Declaration of Policy.- It is hereby declared that the State values the dignity of 173

women and children and guarantees full respect for human rights. The State also recognizes the need to protect the family and its members particularly women and children, from violence and threats to their personal safety and security. Towards this end, the State shall exert efforts to address violence committed against women and children in keeping with the fundamental freedoms guaranteed under the Constitution and the Provisions of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the convention on the Elimination of all forms of discrimination Against Women, Convention on the Rights of the Child and other international human rights instruments of which the Philippines is a party. Sec. 3. Definition of Terms.- As used in this Act: (a) "Violence against women and their children" refers to any act or a series of acts committed by any person against a woman who is his wife, former wife, or against a woman with whom the person has or had a sexual or dating relationship, or with whom he has a common child, or against her child whether legitimate or illegitimate, within or without the family abode, which result in or is likely to result in physical, sexual, psychological harm or suffering, or economic abuse including threats of such acts, battery, 174

assault, coercion, harassment or arbitrary deprivation of liberty. It includes, but is not limited to, the following acts: A. "Physical Violence" refers to acts that include bodily or physical harm; B. "Sexual violence" refers to an act which is sexual in nature, committed against a woman or her child. It includes, but is not limited to: a) Rape, sexual harassment, acts of lasciviousness, treating a woman or her child as a sex object, making demeaning and sexually suggestive remarks, physically attacking the sexual parts of the victim's body, forcing her/him to watch obscene publications and indecent shows or forcing the woman or her child to do indecent acts and/or make films thereof, forcing the wife and mistress/lover to live in the conjugal home or sleep together in the same room with the abuser; b) Acts causing or attempting to cause the victim to engage in any sexual activity by force, threat of force, physical or other harm or threat of physical or other harm or coercion; c) Prostituting the woman or child. C. "Psychological violence" refers to acts or omissions causing or likely to cause mental or emotional suffering of the victim such as but not 175

limited to intimidation, harassment, stalking, damage to property, public ridicule or humiliation, repeated verbal abuse and mental infidelity. It includes causing or allowing the victim to witness the physical, sexual or psychological abuse of a member of the family to which the victim belongs, or to witness pornography in any form or to witness abusive injury to pets or to unlawful or unwanted deprivation of the right to custody and/or visitation of common children. D. "Economic abuse" refers to acts that make or attempt to make a woman financially dependent which includes, but is not limited to the following: 1. Withdrawal of financial support or preventing the victim from engaging in any legitimate profession, occupation, business or activity, except in cases wherein the other spouse/partner objects on valid, serious and moral grounds as defined in Article 73 of the Family Code; 2. Deprivation or threat of deprivation of financial resources and the right to the use and enjoyment of the conjugal, community or property owned in common; 3. Destroying household property; 176

4. Controlling the victims' own money or properties or solely controlling the conjugal money or properties. (b) "Battery" refers to an act of inflicting physical harm upon the woman or her child resulting to the physical and psychological or emotional distress. (c) "Battered Woman Syndrome" refers to a scientifically defined pattern of psychological and behavioral symptoms found in women living in battering relationships as a result of cumulative abuse. (d) "Stalking" refers to an intentional act committed by a person who, knowingly and without lawful justification follows the woman or her child or places the woman or her child under surveillance directly or indirectly or a combination thereof. (e) "Dating relationship" refers to a situation wherein the parties live as husband and wife without the benefit of marriage or are romantically involved over time and on a continuing basis during the course of the relationship. A casual acquaintance or ordinary socialization between two individuals in a business or social context is not a dating relationship. (f) "Sexual relations" refers to a single sexual act which may or may not result in the bearing of a common child. (g) "Safe place or shelter" refers to any home or institution maintained or managed by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) or by 177

any other agency or voluntary organization accredited by the DSWD for the purposes of this Act or any other suitable place the resident of which is willing temporarily to receive the victim. (h) "Children" refers to those below eighteen (18) years of age or older but are incapable of taking care of themselves as defined under Republic Act No. 7610. As used in this Act, it includes the biological children of the victim and other children under her care. Sec. 4. Construction.- This Act shall be liberally construed to promote the protection and safety of victims of violence against women and their children. Sec. 5. Acts of Violence Against Women and Their Children.- The crime of violence against women and their children is committed through any of the following acts: (a) Causing physical harm to the woman or her child; (b) Threatening to cause the woman or her child physical harm; (c) Attempting to cause the woman or her child physical harm;

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(d) Placing the woman or her child in fear of imminent physical harm; (e) Attempting to compel or compelling the woman or her child to engage in conduct which the woman or her child has the right to desist from or desist from conduct which the woman or her child has the right to engage in, or attempting to restrict or restricting the woman's or her child's freedom of movement or conduct by force or threat of force, physical or other harm or threat of physical or other harm, or intimidation directed against the woman or child. This shall include, but not limited to, the following acts committed with the purpose or effect of controlling or restricting the woman's or her child's movement or conduct: (1) Threatening to deprive or actually depriving the woman or her child of custody to her/his family; (2) Depriving or threatening to deprive the woman or her children of financial support legally due her or her family, or deliberately providing the woman's children insufficient financial support; (3) Depriving or threatening to deprive the woman or her child of a legal right; and 179

(4) Preventing the woman in engaging in any legitimate profession, occupation, business or activity or controlling the victim's own money or properties, or solely controlling the conjugal or common money, or properties. (f) Inflicting or threatening to inflict physical harm on oneself for the purpose of controlling her actions or decisions; (g) Causing or attempting to cause the woman or her child to engage in any sexual activity which does not constitute rape, by force or threat of force, physical harm, or through intimidation directed against the woman or her child or her/his immediate family; (h) Engaging in purposeful, knowing, or reckless conduct, personally or through another, that alarms or causes substantial emotional or psychological distress to the woman or her child. This shall include, but not be limited to, the following acts: (1) Stalking or following the woman or her child in public or private places; (2) Peering in the window or lingering outside the residence of the woman or her child;

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(3) Entering or remaining in the dwelling or on the property of the woman or her child against her/his will; (4) Destroying the property and personal belongings or inflicting harm to animals or pets of the woman or her child; and (5) Engaging in any form of harassment or violence. (i) Causing mental or emotional anguish, public ridicule or humiliation to the woman or her child, including, but not limited to, repeated verbal and emotional abuse, and denial of financial support or custody of minor children of access to the woman's child/children. Sec. 6. Penalties.- The crime of violence against women and their children, under Sec. 5 hereof shall be punished according to the following rules: (a) Acts falling under Sec. 5(a) constituting attempted, frustrated or consummated parricide or murder or homicide shall be punished in accordance with the provisions of the Revised Penal Code; If these acts resulted in mutilation, it shall be punishable in accordance with the Revised Penal Code; those constituting serious physical injuries shall have the penalty of prison mayor; those constituting less serious physical injuries shall be punished by prision correccional; 181

and those constituting slight physical injuries shall be punished by arresto mayor; Acts falling under Sec. 5(b) shall be punished by imprisonment of two degrees lower than the prescribed penalty for the consummated crime as specified in the preceding paragraph but shall in no case be lower than arresto mayor; (b) Acts falling under Sec. 5(c) and 5(d) shall be punished by arresto mayor; (c) Acts falling under Sec. 5(e) shall be punished by prision correccional; (d) Acts falling under Sec. 5(f) shall be punished by arresto mayor; (e) Acts falling under Sec. 5(g) shall be punished by prision mayor; (f) Acts falling under Sec. 5(h) and Sec. 5(i) shall be punished by prision mayor. If the acts are committed while the woman or child is pregnant or committed in the presence of her child, the penalty to be applied shall be the maximum period of penalty prescribed in the Sec. In addition to imprisonment, the perpetrator shall (a) pay a fine in the amount of not less than One hundred thousand pesos (P100,000.00) but not more than three hundred thousand pesos (300,000.00); (b) undergo mandatory 182

psychological counseling or psychiatric treatment and shall report compliance to the court. Sec. 7. Venue.- The Regional Trial Court designated as a Family Court shall have original and exclusive jurisdiction over cases of violence against women and their children under this law. In the absence of such court in the place where the offense was committed, the case shall be filed in the Regional Trial Court where the crime or any of its elements was committed at the option of the compliant. Sec. 8. Protection Orders.- A protection order is an order issued under this act for the purpose of preventing further acts of violence against a woman or her child specified in Sec. 5 of this Act and granting other necessary relief. The relief granted under a protection order serve the purpose of safeguarding the victim from further harm, minimizing any disruption in the victim's daily life, and facilitating the opportunity and ability of the victim to independently regain control over her life. The provisions of the protection order shall be enforced by law enforcement agencies. The protection orders that may be issued under this Act are the barangay protection order (BPO), temporary protection

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order (TPO) and permanent protection order (PPO). The protection orders that may be issued under this Act shall include any, some or all of the following reliefs: (a) Prohibition of the respondent from threatening to commit or committing, personally or through another, any of the acts mentioned in Sec. 5 of this Act; (b) Prohibition of the respondent from harassing, annoying, telephoning, contacting or otherwise communicating with the petitioner, directly or indirectly; (c) Removal and exclusion of the respondent from the residence of the petitioner, regardless of ownership of the residence, either temporarily for the purpose of protecting the petitioner, or permanently where no property rights are violated, and if respondent must remove personal effects from the residence, the court shall direct a law enforcement agent to accompany the respondent has gathered his things and escort respondent from the residence; (d) Directing the respondent to stay away from petitioner and designated family or household 184

member at a distance specified by the court, and to stay away from the residence, school, place of employment, or any specified place frequented by the petitioner and any designated family or household member; (e) Directing lawful possession and use by petitioner of an automobile and other essential personal effects, regardless of ownership, and directing the appropriate law enforcement officer to accompany the petitioner to the residence of the parties to ensure that the petitioner is safely restored to the possession of the automobile and other essential personal effects, or to supervise the petitioner's or respondent's removal of personal belongings; (f) Granting a temporary or permanent custody of a child/children to the petitioner; (g) Directing the respondent to provide support to the woman and/or her child if entitled to legal support. Notwithstanding other laws to the contrary, the court shall order an appropriate percentage of the income or salary of the respondent to be withheld regularly by the respondent's employer for the same to be automatically remitted directly to the woman. Failure to remit and/or withhold or any 185

delay in the remittance of support to the woman and/or her child without justifiable cause shall render the respondent or his employer liable for indirect contempt of court; (h) Prohibition of the respondent from any use or possession of any firearm or deadly weapon and order him to surrender the same to the court for appropriate disposition by the court, including revocation of license and disqualification to apply for any license to use or possess a firearm. If the offender is a law enforcement agent, the court shall order the offender to surrender his firearm and shall direct the appropriate authority to investigate on the offender and take appropriate action on matter; (i) Restitution for actual damages caused by the violence inflicted, including, but not limited to, property damage, medical expenses, childcare expenses and loss of income; (j) Directing the DSWD or any appropriate agency to provide petitioner may need; and (k) Provision of such other forms of relief as the court deems necessary to protect and provide for the safety of the petitioner and any designated family or household member, provided petitioner and any designated family or household member 186

consents to such relief. Any of the reliefs provided under this Sec. shall be granted even in the absence of a decree of legal separation or annulment or declaration of absolute nullity of marriage. The issuance of a BPO or the pendency of an application for BPO shall not preclude a petitioner from applying for, or the court from granting a TPO or PPO. Sec. 9. Who may file Petition for Protection Orders. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A petition for protection order may be filed by any of the following: (a) The offended party; (b) Parents or guardians of the offended party; (c) Ascendants, descendants or collateral relatives within the fourth civil degree of consanguinity or affinity; (d) Officers or social workers of the DSWD or social workers of local government units (LGUs); (e) Police officers, preferably those in charge of women and children's desks; (f) Punong Barangay or Barangay Kagawad; (g) Lawyer, counselor, therapist or healthcare provider of the petitioner; 187

(h) At least two (2) concerned responsible citizens of the city or municipality where the violence against women and their children occurred and who has personal knowledge of the offense committed. Sec. 10. Where to Apply for a Protection Order. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Applications for BPOs shall follow the rules on venue under Sec. 409 of the Local Government Code of 1991 and its implementing rules and regulations. An application for a TPO or PPO may be filed in the regional trial court, metropolitan trial court, municipal trial court, municipal circuit trial court with territorial jurisdiction over the place of residence of the petitioner: Provided, however, that if a family court exists in the place of residence of the petitioner, the application shall be filed with that court. Sec. 11. How to Apply for a Protection Order. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The application for a protection order must be in writing, signed and verified under oath by the applicant. It may be filed as an independent action or as incidental relief in any civil or criminal case the subject matter or issues thereof partakes of a violence as described in this Act. A standard protection order application form, written in English with translation to the major 188

local languages, shall be made available to facilitate applications for protections order, and shall contain, among other, the following information: (a) names and addresses of petitioner and respondent; (b) description of relationships petitioner and respondent;

between

(c) a statement of the circumstances of the abuse; (d) description of the reliefs requested by petitioner as specified in Sec. 8 herein; (e) request for counsel and reasons for such; (f) request for waiver of application fees until hearing; and (g) an attestation that there is no pending application for a protection order in another court. If the applicants is not the victim, the application must be accompanied by an affidavit of the applicant attesting to (a) the circumstances of the abuse suffered by the victim and (b) the circumstances of consent given by the victim for the filling of the application. When disclosure of the address of the victim will pose danger to her life, it shall be so stated in the application. In 189

such a case, the applicant shall attest that the victim is residing in the municipality or city over which court has territorial jurisdiction, and shall provide a mailing address for purpose of service processing. An application for protection order filed with a court shall be considered an application for both a TPO and PPO. Barangay officials and court personnel shall assist applicants in the preparation of the application. Law enforcement agents shall also extend assistance in the application for protection orders in cases brought to their attention. Sec. 12. Enforceability of Protection Orders. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; All TPOs and PPOs issued under this Act shall be enforceable anywhere in the Philippines and a violation thereof shall be punishable with a fine ranging from Five Thousand Pesos (P5,000.00) to Fifty Thousand Pesos (P50,000.00) and/or imprisonment of six (6) months. Sec. 13. Legal Representation of Petitioners for Protection Order. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; If the woman or her child requests in the applications for a protection order for the appointment of counsel because of lack of economic means to hire a counsel de parte, the court shall immediately direct the Public Attorney's Office (PAO) to represent the petitioner in the hearing on the application. If the 190

PAO determines that the applicant can afford to hire the services of a counsel de parte, it shall facilitate the legal representation of the petitioner by a counsel de parte. The lack of access to family or conjugal resources by the applicant, such as when the same are controlled by the perpetrator, shall qualify the petitioner to legal representation by the PAO. However, a private counsel offering free legal service is not barred from representing the petitioner. Sec. 14. Barangay Protection Orders (BPOs); Who May Issue and How. - Barangay Protection Orders (BPOs) refer to the protection order issued by the Punong Barangay ordering the perpetrator to desist from committing acts under Sec. 5 (a) and (b) of this Act. A Punong Barangay who receives applications for a BPO shall issue the protection order to the applicant on the date of filing after ex parte determination of the basis of the application. If the Punong Barangay is unavailable to act on the application for a BPO, the application shall be acted upon by any available Barangay Kagawad. If the BPO is issued by a Barangay Kagawad the order must be accompanied by an attestation by the Barangay Kagawad that the Punong Barangay was unavailable at the time for the issuance of the 191

BPO. BPOs shall be effective for fifteen (15) days. Immediately after the issuance of an ex parte BPO, the Punong Barangay or Barangay Kagawad shall personally serve a copy of the same on the respondent, or direct any barangay official to effect is personal service. The parties may be accompanied by a non-lawyer advocate in any proceeding before the Punong Barangay. Sec. 15. Temporary Protection Orders. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Temporary Protection Orders (TPOs) refers to the protection order issued by the court on the date of filing of the application after ex parte determination that such order should be issued. A court may grant in a TPO any, some or all of the reliefs mentioned in this Act and shall be effective for thirty (30) days. The court shall schedule a hearing on the issuance of a PPO prior to or on the date of the expiration of the TPO. The court shall order the immediate personal service of the TPO on the respondent by the court sheriff who may obtain the assistance of law enforcement agents for the service. The TPO shall include notice of the date of the hearing on the merits of the issuance of a PPO. Sec. 16. Permanent Protection Orders. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Permanent Protection Order (PPO) refers to protection order issued by the court after notice 192

and hearing. Respondents non-appearance despite proper notice, or his lack of a lawyer, or the non-availability of his lawyer shall not be a ground for rescheduling or postponing the hearing on the merits of the issuance of a PPO. If the respondents appears without counsel on the date of the hearing on the PPO, the court shall appoint a lawyer for the respondent and immediately proceed with the hearing. In case the respondent fails to appear despite proper notice, the court shall allow ex parte presentation of the evidence by the applicant and render judgment on the basis of the evidence presented. The court shall allow the introduction of any history of abusive conduct of a respondent even if the same was not directed against the applicant or the person for whom the applicant is made. The court shall, to the extent possible, conduct the hearing on the merits of the issuance of a PPO in one (1) day. Where the court is unable to conduct the hearing within one (1) day and the TPO issued is due to expire, the court shall continuously extend or renew the TPO for a period of thirty (30) days at each particular time until final judgment is issued. The extended or renewed TPO may be modified by the court as may be necessary or applicable to address the needs of the applicant. The court may grant any, some or all of the 193

reliefs specified in Sec. 8 hereof in a PPO. A PPO shall be effective until revoked by a court upon application of the person in whose favor the order was issued. The court shall ensure immediate personal service of the PPO on respondent. The court shall not deny the issuance of protection order on the basis of the lapse of time between the act of violence and the filing of the application. Regardless of the conviction or acquittal of the respondent, the Court must determine whether or not the PPO shall become final. Even in a dismissal, a PPO shall be granted as long as there is no clear showing that the act from which the order might arise did not exist. Sec. 17. Notice of Sanction in Protection Orders. – The following statement must be printed in bold-faced type or in capital letters on the protection order issued by the Punong Barangay or court: "VIOLATION OF THIS ORDER IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW." Sec. 18. Mandatory Period For Acting on Applications For Protection Orders – Failure to act on an application for a protection order within the reglementary period specified in the previous Sec. without justifiable cause shall render the official or judge administratively liable. Sec. 19. Legal Separation Cases. – In 194

cases of legal separation, where violence as specified in this Act is alleged, Article 58 of the Family Code shall not apply. The court shall proceed on the main case and other incidents of the case as soon as possible. The hearing on any application for a protection order filed by the petitioner must be conducted within the mandatory period specified in this Act. Sec. 20. Priority of Application for a Protection Order. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Ex parte and adversarial hearings to determine the basis of applications for a protection order under this Act shall have priority over all other proceedings. Barangay officials and the courts shall schedule and conduct hearings on applications for a protection order under this Act above all other business and, if necessary, suspend other proceedings in order to hear applications for a protection order. Sec. 21. Violation of Protection Orders. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A complaint for a violation of a BPO issued under this Act must be filed directly with any municipal trial court, metropolitan trial court, or municipal circuit trial court that has territorial jurisdiction over the barangay that issued the BPO. Violation of a BPO shall be punishable by imprisonment of thirty (30) days without prejudice to any other criminal or civil action that the offended party 195

may file for any of the acts committed. A judgement of violation of a BPO ma be appealed according to the Rules of Court. During trial and upon judgment, the trial court may motu proprio issue a protection order as it deems necessary without need of an application. Violation of any provision of a TPO or PPO issued under this Act shall constitute contempt of court punishable under Rule 71 of the Rules of Court, without prejudice to any other criminal or civil action that the offended party may file for any of the acts committed. Sec. 22. Applicability of Protection Orders to Criminal Cases. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The foregoing provisions on protection orders shall be applicable in impliedly instituted with the criminal actions involving violence against women and their children. Sec. 23. Bond to Keep the Peace. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Court may order any person against whom a protection order is issued to give a bond to keep the peace, to present two sufficient sureties who shall undertake that such person will not commit the violence sought to be prevented. Should the respondent fail to give the bond as required, he shall be detained for a period which shall in no case exceed six (6) months, if he shall have been prosecuted for acts punishable under Sec. 5(a) to 196

5(f) and not exceeding thirty (30) days, if for acts punishable under Sec. 5(g) to 5(i). The protection orders referred to in this Sec. are the TPOs and the PPOs issued only by the courts. Sec. 24. Prescriptive Period. – Acts falling under Sec.s 5(a) to 5(f) shall prescribe in twenty (20) years. Acts falling under Sec.s 5(g) to 5(i) shall prescribe in ten (10) years. Sec. 25. Public Crime. – Violence against women and their children shall be considered a public offense which may be prosecuted upon the filing of a complaint by any citizen having personal knowledge of the circumstances involving the commission of the crime. Sec. 26. Battered Woman Syndrome as a Defense. – Victim-survivors who are found by the courts to be suffering from battered woman syndrome do not incur any criminal and civil liability notwithstanding the absence of any of the elements for justifying circumstances of selfdefense under the Revised Penal Code. In the determination of the state of mind of the woman who was suffering from battered woman syndrome at the time of the commission of the crime, the courts shall be assisted by expert psychiatrists/ psychologists.

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Sec. 27. Prohibited Defense. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Being under the influence of alcohol, any illicit drug, or any other mindaltering substance shall not be a defense under this Act. Sec. 28. Custody of children. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The woman victim of violence shall be entitled to the custody and support of her child/children. Children below seven (7) years old older but with mental or physical disabilities shall automatically be given to the mother, with right to support, unless the court finds compelling reasons to order otherwise. A victim who is suffering from battered woman syndrome shall not be disqualified from having custody of her children. In no case shall custody of minor children be given to the perpetrator of a woman who is suffering from Battered woman syndrome. Sec. 29. Duties of Prosecutors/Court Personnel. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Prosecutors and court personnel should observe the following duties when dealing with victims under this Act: a) communicate with the victim in a language understood by the woman or her child; and b) inform the victim of her/his rights including legal remedies available and procedure, and privileges for indigent litigants. 198

Sec. 30. Duties of Barangay Officials and Law Enforcers. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Barangay officials and law enforcers shall have the following duties: (a) respond immediately to a call for help or request for assistance or protection of the victim by entering the necessary whether or not a protection order has been issued and ensure the safety of the victim/s; (b) confiscate any deadly weapon in the possession of the perpetrator or within plain view; (c) transport or escort the victim/s to a safe place of their choice or to a clinic or hospital; (d) assist the victim in removing personal belongs from the house; (e) assist the barangay officials and other government officers and employees who respond to a call for help; (f) ensure the enforcement of the Protection Orders issued by the Punong Barangy or the courts; (g) arrest the suspected perpetrator without a warrant when any of the acts of violence defined by this Act is occurring, or when he/she has personal knowledge that any act 199

of abuse has just been committed, and there is imminent danger to the life or limb of the victim as defined in this Act; and (h) immediately report the call for assessment or assistance of the DSWD, social Welfare Department of LGUs or accredited nongovernment organizations (NGOs). Any barangay official or law enforcer who fails to report the incident shall be liable for a fine not exceeding Ten Thousand Pesos (P10,000.00) or whenever applicable criminal, civil or administrative liability. Sec. 31. Healthcare Provider Response to Abuse â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Any healthcare provider, including, but not limited to, an attending physician, nurse, clinician, barangay health worker, therapist or counselor who suspects abuse or has been informed by the victim of violence shall: ( a) properly document any of the victim's physical, emotional or psychological injuries; (b) properly record any of victim's suspicions, observations and circumstances of the examination or visit;

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(c) automatically provide the victim free of charge a medical certificate concerning the examination or visit; (d) safeguard the records and make them available to the victim upon request at actual cost; and (e) provide the victim immediate and adequate notice of rights and remedies provided under this Act, and services available to them. Sec. 32. Duties of Other Government Agencies and LGUs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Other government agencies and LGUs shall establish programs such as, but not limited to, education and information campaign and seminars or symposia on the nature, causes, incidence and consequences of such violence particularly towards educating the public on its social impacts. It shall be the duty of the concerned government agencies and LGU's to ensure the sustained education and training of their officers and personnel on the prevention of violence against women and their children under the Act. Sec. 33. Prohibited Acts. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Punong Barangay, Barangay Kagawad or the court hearing an application for a protection order shall not order, direct, force or in any way unduly influence the applicant for a protection order to compromise or 201

abandon any of the reliefs sought in the application for protection under this Act. Sec. 7 of the Family Courts Act of 1997 and Sec.s 410, 411, 412 and 413 of the Local Government Code of 1991 shall not apply in proceedings where relief is sought under this Act. Failure to comply with this Sec. shall render the official or judge administratively liable. Sec. 34. Persons Intervening Exempt from Liability. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; In every case of violence against women and their children as herein defined, any person, private individual or police authority or barangay official who, acting in accordance with law, responds or intervenes without using violence or restraint greater than necessary to ensure the safety of the victim, shall not be liable for any criminal, civil or administrative liability resulting therefrom. Sec. 35. Rights of Victims. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; In addition to their rights under existing laws, victims of violence against women and their children shall have the following rights: (a) to be treated with respect and dignity; (b) to avail of legal assistance form the PAO of the Department of Justice (DOJ) or any public legal assistance office; 202

(c) To be entitled to support services form the DSWD and LGUs' (d) To be entitled to all legal remedies and support as provided for under the Family Code; and (e) To be informed of their rights and the services available to them including their right to apply for a protection order. Sec. 36. Damages. – Any victim of violence under this Act shall be entitled to actual, compensatory, moral and exemplary damages. Sec. 37. Hold Departure Order. – The court shall expedite the process of issuance of a hold departure order in cases prosecuted under this Act. Sec. 38. Exemption from Payment of Docket Fee and Other Expenses. – If the victim is an indigent or there is an immediate necessity due to imminent danger or threat of danger to act on an application for a protection order, the court shall accept the application without payment of the filing fee and other fees and of transcript of stenographic notes. Sec. 39. Inter-Agency Council on Violence Against Women and Their Children (IACVAWC). In pursuance of the abovementioned 203

policy, there is hereby established an InterAgency Council on Violence Against Women and their children, hereinafter known as the Council, which shall be composed of the following agencies: a) Department of Social Development (DSWD);

Welfare

and

(b) National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW); (c) Civil Service Commission (CSC); (d) Commission on Human rights (CHR) (e) Council for the Welfare of Children (CWC); (f) Department of Justice (DOJ); (g) Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG); (h) Philippine National Police (PNP); (i) Department of Health (DOH); (j) Department of Education (DepEd); (k) Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE); and

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(l) National Bureau of Investigation (NBI). These agencies are tasked to formulate programs and projects to eliminate VAW based on their mandates as well as develop capability programs for their employees to become more sensitive to the needs of their clients. The Council will also serve as the monitoring body as regards to VAW initiatives. The Council members may designate their duly authorized representative who shall have a rank not lower than an assistant secretary or its equivalent. These representatives shall attend Council meetings in their behalf, and shall receive emoluments as may be determined by the Council in accordance with existing budget and accounting rules and regulations. Sec. 40. Mandatory Programs and Services for Victims. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The DSWD, and LGU's shall provide the victims temporary shelters, provide counseling, psycho-social services and /or, recovery, rehabilitation programs and livelihood assistance. The DOH shall provide medical assistance to victims. Sec. 41. Counseling and Treatment of Offenders. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The DSWD shall provide rehabilitative counseling and treatment to perpetrators towards learning constructive ways of coping with anger and emotional outbursts and 205

reforming their ways. When necessary, the offender shall be ordered by the Court to submit to psychiatric treatment or confinement. Sec. 42. Training of Persons Involved in Responding to Violence Against Women and their Children Cases. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; All agencies involved in responding to violence against women and their children cases shall be required to undergo education and training to acquaint them with: a. the nature, extend and causes of violence against women and their children; b. the legal rights of, and remedies available to, victims of violence against women and their children; c. the services and facilities available to victims or survivors; d. the legal duties imposed on police officers to make arrest and to offer protection and assistance; and e. techniques for handling incidents of violence against women and their children that minimize the likelihood of injury to the officer and promote the safety of the victim or survivor. The PNP, in coordination with LGU's shall establish an education and training program for police officers and barangay officials to 206

enable them to properly handle cases of violence against women and their children. Sec. 43. Entitled to Leave. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Victims under this Act shall be entitled to take a paid leave of absence up to ten (10) days in addition to other paid leaves under the Labor Code and Civil Service Rules and Regulations, extendible when the necessity arises as specified in the protection order. Any employer who shall prejudice the right of the person under this Sec. shall be penalized in accordance with the provisions of the Labor Code and Civil Service Rules and Regulations. Likewise, an employer who shall prejudice any person for assisting a co-employee who is a victim under this Act shall likewise be liable for discrimination. Sec. 44. Confidentiality. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; All records pertaining to cases of violence against women and their children including those in the barangay shall be confidential and all public officers and employees and public or private clinics to hospitals shall respect the right to privacy of the victim. Whoever publishes or causes to be published, in any format, the name, address, telephone number, school, business address, employer, or other identifying information of a victim or an immediate family member, without 207

the latter's consent, shall be liable to the contempt power of the court. Any person who violates this provision shall suffer the penalty of one (1) year imprisonment and a fine of not more than Five Hundred Thousand pesos (P500,000.00). Sec. 45. Funding – The amount necessary to implement the provisions of this Act shall be included in the annual General Appropriations Act (GAA). The Gender and Development (GAD) Budget of the mandated agencies and LGU's shall be used to implement services for victim of violence against women and their children. Sec. 46. Implementing Rules and Regulations. – Within six (6) months from the approval of this Act, the DOJ, the NCRFW, the DSWD, the DILG, the DOH, and the PNP, and three (3) representatives from NGOs to be identified by the NCRFW, shall promulgate the Implementing Rules and Regulations (IRR) of this Act. Sec. 47. Suppletory Application – For purposes of this Act, the Revised Penal Code and other applicable laws, shall have suppletory application. Sec. 48. Separability Clause. – If any Sec. or provision of this Act is held unconstitutional or

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invalid, the other Sec.s or provisions shall not be affected. Sec. 49. Repealing Clause â&#x20AC;&#x201C; All laws, Presidential decrees, executive orders and rules and regulations, or parts thereof, inconsistent with the provisions of this Act are hereby repealed or modified accordingly. Sec. 50. Effectivity â&#x20AC;&#x201C; This Act shall take effect fifteen (15) days from the date of its complete publication in at least two (2) newspapers of general circulation. Approved: March 08, 2004

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MALACAĂ&#x2018;ANG MANILA BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE PHILIPPINES EXECUTIVE ORDER NO. 209 THE FAMILY CODE OF THE PHILIPPINES I, CORAZON C. AQUINO, President of the Philippines, by virtue of the powers vested in me by the Constitution, do hereby order and promulgate the Family Code of the Philippines, as follows: TITLE I Chapter 1.MARRIAGE Requisites of Marriage Article 1. Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life. It is the foundation of the family and an inviolable social institution whose nature, consequences, and incidents are governed by law and not subject to 210

stipulation, except that marriage settlements may fix the property relations during the marriage within the limits provided by this Code. (52a) Art. 2. No marriage shall be valid, unless these essential requisites are present: (1) Legal capacity of the contracting parties who must be a male and a female; and (2) Consent freely given in the presence of the solemnizing officer. (53a) Art. 3. The formal requisites of marriage are: (1) Authority of the solemnizing officer; (2) A valid marriage license except in the cases provided for in Chapter 2 of this Title; and (3) A marriage ceremony which takes place with the appearance of the contracting parties before the solemnizing officer and their personal declaration that they take each other as husband and wife in the presence of not less than two witnesses of legal age. (53a, 55a) Art. 4. The absence of any of the essential or formal requisites shall render the marriage void ab initio, except as stated in Article 35 (2). A defect in any of the essential requisites shall not affect the validity of the marriage but the party or parties responsible for the irregularity shall be civilly, criminally and administratively liable. (n) Art. 5. Any male or female of the age of eighteen years or upwards not under any of the 211

impediments mentioned in Articles 37 and 38, may contract marriage. (54a) Art. 6. No prescribed form or religious rite for the solemnization of the marriage is required. It shall be necessary, however, for the contracting parties to appear personally before the solemnizing officer and declare in the presence of not less than two witnesses of legal age that they take each other as husband and wife. This declaration shall be contained in the marriage certificate which shall be signed by the contracting parties and their witnesses and attested by the solemnizing officer. In case of a marriage in articulo mortis, when the party at the point of death is unable to sign the marriage certificate, it shall be sufficient for one of the witnesses to the marriage to write the name of said party, which fact shall be attested by the solemnizing officer. (55a) Art. 7. Marriage may be solemnized by: (1) Any incumbent member of the judiciary within the courtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s jurisdiction; (2) Any priest, rabbi, imam, or minister of any church or religious sect duly authorized by his church or religious sect and registered with the civil registrar general, acting within the limits of the written authority granted by his church or religious sect and provided that at least one of the contracting parties belongs to the solemnizing officerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s church or religious sect; 212

(3) Any ship captain or airplane chief only in the case mentioned in Article 31; (4) Any military commander of a unit to which a chaplain is assigned, in the absence of the latter, during a military operation, likewise only in the cases mentioned in Article 32; (5) Any consul-general, consul or vice-consul in the case provided in Article 10. (56a) Article. 8. The marriage shall be solemnized publicly in the chambers of the judge or in open court, in the church, chapel or temple, or in the office the consul-general, consul or vice-consul, as the case may be, and not elsewhere, except in cases of marriages contracted on the point of death or in remote places in accordance with Article 29 of this Code, or where both of the parties request the solemnizing officer in writing in which case the marriage may be solemnized at a house or place designated by them in a sworn statement to that effect. (57a) Art. 9. A marriage license shall be issued by the local civil registrar of the city or municipality where either contracting party habitually resides, except in marriages where no license is required in accordance with Chapter 2 of this Title. (58a) Art. 10. Marriages between Filipino citizens abroad may be solemnized by a consul-general, consul or vice-consul of the Republic of the Philippines. The issuance of the marriage license and the duties of the local civil registrar and of 213

the solemnizing officer with regard to the celebration of marriage shall be performed by said consular official. (75a) Art. 11. Where a marriage license is required, each of the contracting parties shall file separately a sworn application for such license with the proper local civil registrar which shall specify the following: (1) Full name of the contracting party; (2) Place of birth; (3) Age and date of birth; (4) Civil status; (5) If previously married, how, when and where the previous marriage was dissolved or annulled; (6) Present residence and citizenship; (7) Degree of relationship of the contracting parties; (8) Full name, residence and citizenship of the father; (9) Full name, residence and citizenship of the mother; and (10) Full name, residence and citizenship of the guardian or person having charge, in case the contracting party has neither father nor mother and is under the age of twenty-one years. The applicants, their parents or guardians shall not be required to exhibit their residence 214

certificates in any formality in connection with the securing of the marriage license. (59a) Art. 12. The local civil registrar, upon receiving such application, shall require the presentation of the original birth certificates or, in default thereof, the baptismal certificates of the contracting parties or copies of such documents duly attested by the persons having custody of the originals. These certificates or certified copies of the documents by this Article need not be sworn to and shall be exempt from the documentary stamp tax. The signature and official title of the person issuing the certificate shall be sufficient proof of its authenticity. If either of the contracting parties is unable to produce his birth or baptismal certificate or a certified copy of either because of the destruction or loss of the original or if it is shown by an affidavit of such party or of any other person that such birth or baptismal certificate has not yet been received though the same has been required of the person having custody thereof at least fifteen days prior to the date of the application, such party may furnish in lieu thereof his current residence certificate or an instrument drawn up and sworn to before the local civil registrar concerned or any public official authorized to administer oaths. Such instrument shall contain the sworn declaration of two witnesses of lawful age, setting forth the full name, residence and citizenship of such contracting party and of his or 215

her parents, if known, and the place and date of birth of such party. The nearest of kin of the contracting parties shall be preferred as witnesses, or, in their default, persons of good reputation in the province or the locality. The presentation of birth or baptismal certificate shall not be required if the parents of the contracting parties appear personally before the local civil registrar concerned and swear to the correctness of the lawful age of said parties, as stated in the application, or when the local civil registrar shall, by merely looking at the applicants upon their personally appearing before him, be convinced that either or both of them have the required age. (60a) Art. 13. In case either of the contracting parties has been previously married, the applicant shall be required to furnish, instead of the birth or baptismal certificate required in the last preceding article, the death certificate of the deceased spouse or the judicial decree of the absolute divorce, or the judicial decree of annulment or declaration of nullity of his or her previous marriage. In case the death certificate cannot be secured, the party shall make an affidavit setting forth this circumstance and his or her actual civil status and the name and date of death of the deceased spouse. (61a) Art. 14. In case either or both of the contracting parties, not having been emancipated by a 216

previous marriage, are between the ages of eighteen and twenty-one, they shall, in addition to the requirements of the preceding articles, exhibit to the local civil registrar, the consent to their marriage of their father, mother, surviving parent or guardian, or persons having legal charge of them, in the order mentioned. Such consent shall be manifested in writing by the interested party, who personally appears before the proper local civil registrar, or in the form of an affidavit made in the presence of two witnesses and attested before any official authorized by law to administer oaths. The personal manifestation shall be recorded in both applications for marriage license, and the affidavit, if one is executed instead, shall be attached to said applications. (61a) Art. 15. Any contracting party between the age of twenty-one and twenty-five shall be obliged to ask their parents or guardian for advice upon the intended marriage. If they do not obtain such advice, or if it be unfavorable, the marriage license shall not be issued till after three months following the completion of the publication of the application therefor. A sworn statement by the contracting parties to the effect that such advice has been sought, together with the written advice given, if any, shall be attached to the application for marriage license. Should the parents or guardian refuse to give any advice, this fact shall be stated in the sworn statement. (62a) 217

Art. 16. In the cases where parental consent or parental advice is needed, the party or parties concerned shall, in addition to the requirements of the preceding articles, attach a certificate issued by a priest, imam or minister authorized to solemnize marriage under Article 7 of this Code or a marriage counselor duly accredited by the proper government agency to the effect that the contracting parties have undergone marriage counseling. Failure to attach said certificates of marriage counseling shall suspend the issuance of the marriage license for a period of three months from the completion of the publication of the application. Issuance of the marriage license within the prohibited period shall subject the issuing officer to administrative sanctions but shall not affect the validity of the marriage. Should only one of the contracting parties need parental consent or parental advice, the other party must be present at the counseling referred to in the preceding paragraph. (n) Art. 17. The local civil registrar shall prepare a notice which shall contain the full names and residences of the applicants for a marriage license and other data given in the applications. The notice shall be posted for ten consecutive days on a bulletin board outside the office of the local civil registrar located in a conspicuous place within the building and accessible to the general public. This notice shall request all persons having knowledge of any impediment to the 218

marriage to advise the local civil registrar thereof. The marriage license shall be issued after the completion of the period of publication. (63a) Art. 18. In case of any impediment known to the local civil registrar or brought to his attention, he shall note down the particulars thereof and his findings thereon in the application for marriage license, but shall nonetheless issue said license after the completion of the period of publication, unless ordered otherwise by a competent court at his own instance or that of any interest party. No filing fee shall be charged for the petition nor a corresponding bond required for the issuances of the order. (64a) Art. 19. The local civil registrar shall require the payment of the fees prescribed by law or regulations before the issuance of the marriage license. No other sum shall be collected in the nature of a fee or tax of any kind for the issuance of said license. It shall, however, be issued free of charge to indigent parties, that is those who have no visible means of income or whose income is insufficient for their subsistence a fact established by their affidavit, or by their oath before the local civil registrar. (65a) Art. 20. The license shall be valid in any part of the Philippines for a period of one hundred twenty days from the date of issue, and shall be deemed automatically canceled at the expiration of the said period if the contracting parties have not made use of it. The expiry date shall be 219

stamped in bold characters on the face of every license issued. (65a) Art. 21. When either or both of the contracting parties are citizens of a foreign country, it shall be necessary for them before a marriage license can be obtained, to submit a certificate of legal capacity to contract marriage, issued by their respective diplomatic or consular officials. Stateless persons or refugees from other countries shall, in lieu of the certificate of legal capacity herein required, submit an affidavit stating the circumstances showing such capacity to contract marriage. (66a) Art. 22. The marriage certificate, in which the parties shall declare that they take each other as husband and wife, shall also state: (1) The full name, sex and age of each contracting party; (2) Their citizenship, religion and habitual residence; (3) The date and precise time of the celebration of the marriage; (4) That the proper marriage license has been issued according to law, except in marriage provided for in Chapter 2 of this Title; (5) That either or both of the contracting parties have secured the parental consent in appropriate cases;

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(6) That either or both of the contracting parties have complied with the legal requirement regarding parental advice in appropriate cases; and (7) That the parties have entered into marriage settlement, if any, attaching a copy thereof. (67a) Art. 23. It shall be the duty of the person solemnizing the marriage to furnish either of the contracting parties the original of the marriage certificate referred to in Article 6 and to send the duplicate and triplicate copies of the certificate not later than fifteen days after the marriage, to the local civil registrar of the place where the marriage was solemnized. Proper receipts shall be issued by the local civil registrar to the solemnizing officer transmitting copies of the marriage certificate. The solemnizing officer shall retain in his file the quadruplicate copy of the marriage certificate, the copy of the marriage certificate, the original of the marriage license and, in proper cases, the affidavit of the contracting party regarding the solemnization of the marriage in place other than those mentioned in Article 8. (68a) Art. 24. It shall be the duty of the local civil registrar to prepare the documents required by this Title, and to administer oaths to all interested parties without any charge in both cases. The documents and affidavits filed in connection with applications for marriage licenses shall be exempt from documentary stamp tax. (n) 221

Art. 25. The local civil registrar concerned shall enter all applications for marriage licenses filed with him in a registry book strictly in the order in which the same are received. He shall record in said book the names of the applicants, the date on which the marriage license was issued, and such other data as may be necessary. (n) Art. 26. All marriages solemnized outside the Philippines, in accordance with the laws in force in the country where they were solemnized, and valid there as such, shall also be valid in this country, except those prohibited under Articles 35 (1), (4), (5) and (6), 3637 and 38. (17a) Where a marriage between a Filipino citizen and a foreigner is validly celebrated and a divorce is thereafter validly obtained abroad by the alien spouse capacitating him or her to remarry, the Filipino spouse shall have capacity to remarry under Philippine law. (As amended by Executive Order 227) Chapter 2. Marriages Exempted from License Requirement Art. 27. In case either or both of the contracting parties are at the point of death, the marriage may be solemnized without necessity of a marriage license and shall remain valid even if the ailing party subsequently survives. (72a)

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Art. 28. If the residence of either party is so located that there is no means of transportation to enable such party to appear personally before the local civil registrar, the marriage may be solemnized without necessity of a marriage license. (72a) Art. 29. In the cases provided for in the two preceding articles, the solemnizing officer shall state in an affidavit executed before the local civil registrar or any other person legally authorized to administer oaths that the marriage was performed in articulo mortis or that the residence of either party, specifying the barrio or barangay, is so located that there is no means of transportation to enable such party to appear personally before the local civil registrar and that the officer took the necessary steps to ascertain the ages and relationship of the contracting parties and the absence of legal impediment to the marriage. (72a) Art. 30. The original of the affidavit required in the last preceding article, together with the legible copy of the marriage contract, shall be sent by the person solemnizing the marriage to the local civil registrar of the municipality where it was performed within the period of thirty days after the performance of the marriage. (75a) Art. 31. A marriage in articulo mortis between passengers or crew members may also be solemnized by a ship captain or by an airplane pilot not only while the ship is at sea or the plane 223

is in flight, but also during stopovers at ports of call. (74a) Art. 32. A military commander of a unit, who is a commissioned officer, shall likewise have authority to solemnize marriages in articulo mortis between persons within the zone of military operation, whether members of the armed forces or civilians. (74a) Art. 33. Marriages among Muslims or among members of the ethnic cultural communities may be performed validly without the necessity of marriage license, provided they are solemnized in accordance with their customs, rites or practices. (78a) Art. 34. No license shall be necessary for the marriage of a man and a woman who have lived together as husband and wife for at least five years and without any legal impediment to marry each other. The contracting parties shall state the foregoing facts in an affidavit before any person authorized by law to administer oaths. The solemnizing officer shall also state under oath that he ascertained the qualifications of the contracting parties are found no legal impediment to the marriage. (76a)

Chapter 3. Void and Voidable Marriages 224

Art. 35. The following marriages shall be void from the beginning: (1) Those contracted by any party below eighteen years of age even with the consent of parents or guardians; (2) Those solemnized by any person not legally authorized to perform marriages unless such marriages were contracted with either or both parties believing in good faith that the solemnizing officer had the legal authority to do so; (3) Those solemnized without license, except those covered the preceding Chapter; (4) Those bigamous or polygamous marriages not failing under Article 41; (5) Those contracted through mistake of one contracting party as to the identity of the other; and (6) Those subsequent marriages that are void under Article 53. Art. 36. A marriage contracted by any party who, at the time of the celebration, was psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage, shall likewise be void even if such incapacity becomes manifest only after its solemnization. (As amended by Executive Order 227)

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Art. 37. Marriages between the following are incestuous and void from the beginning, whether relationship between the parties be legitimate or illegitimate: (1) Between ascendants and descendants of any degree; and (2) Between brothers and sisters, whether of the full or half blood. (81a) Art. 38. The following marriages shall be void from the beginning for reasons of public policy: (1) Between collateral blood relatives whether legitimate or illegitimate, up to the fourth civil degree; (2) Between step-parents and step-children; (3) Between parents-in-law and children-in-law; (4) Between the adopting parent and the adopted child; (5) Between the surviving spouse of the adopting parent and the adopted child; (6) Between the surviving spouse of the adopted child and the adopter; (7) Between an adopted child and a legitimate child of the adopter; (8) Between adopted children of the same adopter; and (9) Between parties where one, with the intention to marry the other, killed that other personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spouse, or his or her own spouse. (82) 226

Art. 39. The action or defense for the declaration of absolute nullity of a marriage shall not prescribe. (As amended by Executive Order 227 and Republic Act No. 8533; The phrase â&#x20AC;&#x153;However, in case of marriage celebrated before the effectivity of this Code and falling under Article 36, such action or defense shall prescribe in ten years after this Code shall taken effectâ&#x20AC;? has been deleted by Republic Act No. 8533 [Approved February 23, 1998]). Art. 40. The absolute nullity of a previous marriage may be invoked for purposes of remarriage on the basis solely of a final judgment declaring such previous marriage void. (n) Art. 41. A marriage contracted by any person during subsistence of a previous marriage shall be null and void, unless before the celebration of the subsequent marriage, the prior spouse had been absent for four consecutive years and the spouse present has a well-founded belief that the absent spouse was already dead. In case of disappearance where there is danger of death under the circumstances set forth in the provisions of Article 391 of the Civil Code, an absence of only two years shall be sufficient. For the purpose of contracting the subsequent marriage under the preceding paragraph the spouse present must institute a summary proceeding as provided in this Code for the declaration of presumptive death of the absentee,

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without prejudice to the effect of reappearance of the absent spouse. (83a) Art. 42. The subsequent marriage referred to in the preceding Article shall be automatically terminated by the recording of the affidavit of reappearance of the absent spouse, unless there is a judgment annulling the previous marriage or declaring it void ab initio. A sworn statement of the fact and circumstances of reappearance shall be recorded in the civil registry of the residence of the parties to the subsequent marriage at the instance of any interested person, with due notice to the spouses of the subsequent marriage and without prejudice to the fact of reappearance being judicially determined in case such fact is disputed. (n) Art. 43. The termination of the subsequent marriage referred to in the preceding Article shall produce the following effects: (1) The children of the subsequent marriage conceived prior to its termination shall be considered legitimate; (2) The absolute community of property or the conjugal partnership, as the case may be, shall be dissolved and liquidated, but if either spouse contracted said marriage in bad faith, his or her share of the net profits of the community property or conjugal partnership property shall be forfeited in favor of the common children or, if there are none, the children of the guilty spouse 228

by a previous marriage or in default of children, the innocent spouse; (3) Donations by reason of marriage shall remain valid, except that if the donee contracted the marriage in bad faith, such donations made to said donee are revoked by operation of law; (4) The innocent spouse may revoke the designation of the other spouse who acted in bad faith as beneficiary in any insurance policy, even if such designation be stipulated as irrevocable; and (5) The spouse who contracted the subsequent marriage in bad faith shall be disqualified to inherit from the innocent spouse by testate and intestate succession. (n) Art. 44. If both spouses of the subsequent marriage acted in bad faith, said marriage shall be void ab initio and all donations by reason of marriage and testamentary dispositions made by one in favor of the other are revoked by operation of law. (n) Art. 45. A marriage may be annulled for any of the following causes, existing at the time of the marriage: (1) That the party in whose behalf it is sought to have the marriage annulled was eighteen years of age or over but below twenty-one, and the marriage was solemnized without the consent of the parents, guardian or person having substitute parental authority over the party, in that order, 229

unless after attaining the age of twenty-one, such party freely cohabited with the other and both lived together as husband and wife; (2) That either party was of unsound mind, unless such party after coming to reason, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife; (3) That the consent of either party was obtained by fraud, unless such party afterwards, with full knowledge of the facts constituting the fraud, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife; (4) That the consent of either party was obtained by force, intimidation or undue influence, unless the same having disappeared or ceased, such party thereafter freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife; (5) That either party was physically incapable of consummating the marriage with the other, and such incapacity continues and appears to be incurable; or (6) That either party was afflicted with a sexually-transmissible disease found to be serious and appears to be incurable. (85a) Art. 46. Any of the following circumstances shall constitute fraud referred to in Number 3 of the preceding Article: (1) Non-disclosure of a previous conviction by final judgment of the other party of a crime involving moral turpitude; 230

(2) Concealment by the wife of the fact that at the time of the marriage, she was pregnant by a man other than her husband; (3) Concealment of sexually transmissible disease, regardless of its nature, existing at the time of the marriage; or (4) Concealment of drug addiction, habitual alcoholism or homosexuality or lesbianism existing at the time of the marriage. No other misrepresentation or deceit as to character, health, rank, fortune or chastity shall constitute such fraud as will give grounds for action for the annulment of marriage. (86a) Art. 47. The action for annulment of marriage must be filed by the following persons and within the periods indicated herein: (1) For causes mentioned in number 1 of Article 45 by the party whose parent or guardian did not give his or her consent, within five years after attaining the age of twenty-one, or by the parent or guardian or person having legal charge of the minor, at any time before such party has reached the age of twenty-one; (2) For causes mentioned in number 2 of Article 45, by the same spouse, who had no knowledge of the otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s insanity; or by any relative or guardian or person having legal charge of the insane, at any time before the death of either party, or by the insane spouse during a lucid interval or after regaining sanity; 231

(3) For causes mentioned in number 3 of Article 45, by the injured party, within five years after the discovery of the fraud; (4) For causes mentioned in number 4 of Article 45, by the injured party, within five years from the time the force, intimidation or undue influence disappeared or ceased; (5) For causes mentioned in number 5 and 6 of Article 45, by the injured party, within five years after the marriage. (87a) Art. 48. In all cases of annulment or declaration of absolute nullity of marriage, the Court shall order the prosecuting attorney or fiscal assigned to it to appear on behalf of the State to take steps to prevent collusion between the parties and to take care that evidence is not fabricated or suppressed. In the cases referred to in the preceding paragraph, no judgment shall be based upon a stipulation of facts or confession of judgment. (88a) Art. 49. During the pendency of the action and in the absence of adequate provisions in a written agreement between the spouses, the Court shall provide for the support of the spouses and the custody and support of their common children. The Court shall give paramount consideration to the moral and material welfare of said children and their choice of the parent with whom they wish to remain as provided to in Title IX. It shall 232

also provide for appropriate visitation rights of the other parent. (n) Art. 50. The effects provided for by paragraphs (2), (3), (4) and (5) of Article 43 and by Article 44 shall also apply in the proper cases to marriages which are declared ab initio or annulled by final judgment under Articles 40 and 45. The final judgment in such cases shall provide for the liquidation, partition and distribution of the properties of the spouses, the custody and support of the common children, and the delivery of third presumptive legitimes, unless such matters had been adjudicated in previous judicial proceedings. All creditors of the spouses as well as of the absolute community or the conjugal partnership shall be notified of the proceedings for liquidation. In the partition, the conjugal dwelling and the lot on which it is situated, shall be adjudicated in accordance with the provisions of Articles 102 and 129. Art. 51. In said partition, the value of the presumptive legitimes of all common children, computed as of the date of the final judgment of the trial court, shall be delivered in cash, property or sound securities, unless the parties, by mutual agreement judicially approved, had already provided for such matters. 233

The children or their guardian or the trustee of their property may ask for the enforcement of the judgment. The delivery of the presumptive legitimes herein prescribed shall in no way prejudice the ultimate successional rights of the children accruing upon the death of either of both of the parents; but the value of the properties already received under the decree of annulment or absolute nullity shall be considered as advances on their legitime. (n) Art. 52. The judgment of annulment or of absolute nullity of the marriage, the partition and distribution of the properties of the spouses and the delivery of the childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s presumptive legitimes shall be recorded in the appropriate civil registry and registries of property; otherwise, the same shall not affect third persons. (n) Art. 53. Either of the former spouses may marry again after compliance with the requirements of the immediately preceding Article; otherwise, the subsequent marriage shall be null and void. Art. 54. Children conceived or born before the judgment of annulment or absolute nullity of the marriage under Article 36 has become final and executory shall be considered legitimate. Children conceived or born of the subsequent marriage under Article 53 shall likewise be legitimate.

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TITLE II Art. 55. A petition for legal separation may be filed on any of the following grounds: (1) Repeated physical violence or grossly abusive conduct directed against the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner; (2) Physical violence or moral pressure to compel the petitioner to change religious or political affiliation; (3) Attempt of respondent to corrupt or induce the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner, to engage in prostitution, or connivance in such corruption or inducement; (4) Final judgment sentencing the respondent to imprisonment of more than six years, even if pardoned; (5) Drug addiction or habitual alcoholism of the respondent; (6) Lesbianism respondent;

homosexuality

the

(7) Contracting by the respondent of a subsequent bigamous marriage, whether in the Philippines or abroad; (8) Sexual infidelity or perversion; (9) Attempt by the respondent against the life of the petitioner; or

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(10) Abandonment of petitioner by respondent without justifiable cause for more than one year. For purposes of this Article, the term â&#x20AC;&#x153;childâ&#x20AC;? shall include a child by nature or by adoption. (9a) Art. 56. The petition for legal separation shall be denied on any of the following grounds: (1) Where the aggrieved party has condoned the offense or act complained of; (2) Where the aggrieved party has consented to the commission of the offense or act complained of; (3) Where there is connivance between the parties in the commission of the offense or act constituting the ground for legal separation; (4) Where both parties have given ground for legal separation; (5) Where there is collusion between the parties to obtain decree of legal separation; or (6) Where the action is barred by prescription. (100a) Art. 57. An action for legal separation shall be filed within five years from the time of the occurrence of the cause. (102) Art. 58. An action for legal separation shall in no case be tried before six months shall have elapsed since the filing of the petition. (103)

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Art. 59. No legal separation may be decreed unless the Court has taken steps toward the reconciliation of the spouses and is fully satisfied, despite such efforts, that reconciliation is highly improbable. (n) Art. 60. No decree of legal separation shall be based upon a stipulation of facts or a confession of judgment. In any case, the Court shall order the prosecuting attorney or fiscal assigned to it to take steps to prevent collusion between the parties and to take care that the evidence is not fabricated or suppressed. (101a) Art. 61. After the filing of the petition for legal separation, the spouses shall be entitled to live separately from each other. The court, in the absence of a written agreement between the spouses, shall designate either of them or a third person to administer the absolute community or conjugal partnership property. The administrator appointed by the court shall have the same powers and duties as those of a guardian under the Rules of Court. (104a) Art. 62. During the pendency of the action for legal separation, the provisions of Article 49 shall likewise apply to the support of the spouses and the custody and support of the common children. (105a) Art. 63. The decree of legal separation shall have the following effects: 237

(1) The spouses shall be entitled to live separately from each other, but the marriage bonds shall not be severed; (2) The absolute community or the conjugal partnership shall be dissolved and liquidated but the offending spouse shall have no right to any share of the net profits earned by the absolute community or the conjugal partnership, which shall be forfeited in accordance with the provisions of Article 43(2); (3) The custody of the minor children shall be awarded to the innocent spouse, subject to the provisions of Article 213 of this Code; and (4) The offending spouse shall be disqualified from inheriting from the innocent spouse by intestate succession. Moreover, provisions in favor of the offending spouse made in the will of the innocent spouse shall be revoked by operation of law. (106a) Art. 64. After the finality of the decree of legal separation, the innocent spouse may revoke the donations made by him or by her in favor of the offending spouse, as well as the designation of the latter as beneficiary in any insurance policy, even if such designation be stipulated as irrevocable. The revocation of the donations shall be recorded in the registries of property in the places where the properties are located. Alienations, liens and encumbrances registered in good faith before the recording of the complaint for revocation in the registries of property shall 238

be respected. The revocation of or change in the designation of the insurance beneficiary shall take effect upon written notification thereof to the insured. The action to revoke the donation under this Article must be brought within five years from the time the decree of legal separation become final. (107a) Art. 65. If the spouses should reconcile, a corresponding joint manifestation under oath duly signed by them shall be filed with the court in the same proceeding for legal separation. (n) Art. 66. The reconciliation referred to in the preceding Articles shall have the following consequences: (1) The legal separation proceedings, if still pending, shall thereby be terminated at whatever stage; and (2) The final decree of legal separation shall be set aside, but the separation of property and any forfeiture of the share of the guilty spouse already effected shall subsist, unless the spouses agree to revive their former property regime. The courtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s order containing the foregoing shall be recorded in the proper civil registries. (108a) Art. 67. The agreement to revive the former property regime referred to in the preceding Article shall be executed under oath and shall specify: 239

(1) The properties to be contributed anew to the restored regime; (2) Those to be retained as separated properties of each spouse; and (3) The names of all their known creditors, their addresses and the amounts owing to each. The agreement of revival and the motion for its approval shall be filed with the court in the same proceeding for legal separation, with copies of both furnished to the creditors named therein. After due hearing, the court shall, in its order, take measure to protect the interest of creditors and such order shall be recorded in the proper registries of properties. The recording of the ordering in the registries of property shall not prejudice any creditor not listed or not notified, unless the debtor-spouse has sufficient separate properties to satisfy the creditorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s claim. (195a, 108a) TITLE III Art. 68. The husband and wife are obliged to live together, observe mutual love, respect and fidelity, and render mutual help and support. (109a) Art. 69. The husband and wife shall fix the family domicile. In case of disagreement, the court shall decide. 240

The court may exempt one spouse from living with the other if the latter should live abroad or there are other valid and compelling reasons for the exemption. However, such exemption shall not apply if the same is not compatible with the solidarity of the family. (110a) Art. 70. The spouses are jointly responsible for the support of the family. The expenses for such support and other conjugal obligations shall be paid from the community property and, in the absence thereof, from the income or fruits of their separate properties. In case of insufficiency or absence of said income or fruits, such obligations shall be satisfied from the separate properties. (111a) Art. 71. The management of the household shall be the right and the duty of both spouses. The expenses for such management shall be paid in accordance with the provisions of Article 70. (115a) Art. 72. When one of the spouses neglects his or her duties to the conjugal union or commits acts which tend to bring danger, dishonor or injury to the other or to the family, the aggrieved party may apply to the court for relief. (116a) Art. 73. Either spouse may exercise any legitimate profession, occupation, business or activity without the consent of the other. The latter may object only on valid, serious, and moral grounds. 241

In case of disagreement, the court shall decide whether or not: (1) The objection is proper; and (2) Benefit has occurred to the family prior to the objection or thereafter. If the benefit accrued prior to the objection, the resulting obligation shall be enforced against the separate property of the spouse who has not obtained consent. The foregoing provisions shall not prejudice the rights of creditors who acted in good faith. (117a) TITLE IV Art. 74. The property relationship between husband and wife shall be governed in the following order: (1) By marriage settlements executed before the marriage; (2) By the provisions of this Code; and (3) By the local custom. (118) Art. 75. The future spouses may, in the marriage settlements, agree upon the regime of absolute community, conjugal partnership of gains, complete separation of property, or any other regime. In the absence of a marriage settlement, or when the regime agreed upon is void, the system of absolute community of property as established in this Code shall govern. (119a) 242

Art. 76. In order that any modification in the marriage settlements may be valid, it must be made before the celebration of the marriage, subject to the provisions of Articles 66, 67, 128, 135 and 136. (121) Art. 77. The marriage settlements and any modification thereof shall be in writing, signed by the parties and executed before the celebration of the marriage. They shall not prejudice third persons unless they are registered in the local civil registry where the marriage contract is recorded as well as in the proper registries of properties. (122a) Art. 78. A minor who according to law may contract marriage may also execute his or her marriage settlements, but they shall be valid only if the persons designated in Article 14 to give consent to the marriage are made parties to the agreement, subject to the provisions of Title IX of this Code. (120a) Art. 79. For the validity of any marriage settlement executed by a person upon whom a sentence of civil interdiction has been pronounced or who is subject to any other disability, it shall be indispensable for the guardian appointed by a competent court to be made a party thereto. (123a) Art. 80. In the absence of a contrary stipulation in a marriage settlement, the property relations of the spouses shall be governed by Philippine laws, 243

regardless of the place of the celebration of the marriage and their residence. This rule shall not apply: (1) Where both spouses are aliens; (2) With respect to the extrinsic validity of contracts affecting property not situated in the Philippines and executed in the country where the property is located; and (3) With respect to the extrinsic validity of contracts entered into in the Philippines but affecting property situated in a foreign country whose laws require different formalities for its extrinsic validity. (124a) Art. 81. Everything stipulated in the settlements or contracts referred to in the preceding articles in consideration of a future marriage, including donations between the prospective spouses made therein, shall be rendered void if the marriage does not take place. However, stipulations that do not depend upon the celebration of the marriages shall be valid. (125a) Chapter 2. Donations by Reason of Marriage Art. 82. Donations by reason of marriage are those which are made before its celebration, in consideration of the same, and in favor of one or both of the future spouses. (126) 244

Art. 83. These donations are governed by the rules on ordinary donations established in Title III of Book III of the Civil Code, insofar as they are not modified by the following articles. (127a) Art. 84. If the future spouses agree upon a regime other than the absolute community of property, they cannot donate to each other in their marriage settlements more than one-fifth of their present property. Any excess shall be considered void. Donations of future property shall be governed by the provisions on testamentary succession and the formalities of wills. (130a) Art. 85. Donations by reason of marriage of property subject to encumbrances shall be valid. In case of foreclosure of the encumbrance and the property is sold for less than the total amount of the obligation secured, the donee shall not be liable for the deficiency. If the property is sold for more than the total amount of said obligation, the donee shall be entitled to the excess. (131a) Art. 86. A donation by reason of marriage may be revoked by the donor in the following cases: (1) If the marriage is not celebrated or judicially declared void ab initio except donations made in the marriage settlements, which shall be governed by Article 81; (2) When the marriage takes place without the consent of the parents or guardian, as required by law;

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(3) When the marriage is annulled, and the donee acted in bad faith; (4) Upon legal separation, the donee being the guilty spouse; (5) If it is with a resolutory condition and the condition is complied with; (6) When the donee has committed an act of ingratitude as specified by the provisions of the Civil Code on donations in general. (132a) Art. 87. Every donation or grant of gratuitous advantage, direct or indirect, between the spouses during the marriage shall be void, except moderate gifts which the spouses may give each other on the occasion of any family rejoicing. The prohibition shall also apply to persons living together as husband and wife without a valid marriage. (133a) Chapter 3. System of Absolute Community Art. 88. The absolute community of property between spouses shall commence at the precise moment that the marriage is celebrated. Any stipulation, express or implied, for the commencement of the community regime at any other time shall be void. (145a) Art. 89. No waiver of rights, shares and effects of the absolute community of property during the 246

marriage can be made except in case of judicial separation of property. When the waiver takes place upon a judicial separation of property, or after the marriage has been dissolved or annulled, the same shall appear in a public instrument and shall be recorded as provided in Article 77. The creditors of the spouse who made such waiver may petition the court to rescind the waiver to the extent of the amount sufficient to cover the amount of their credits. (146a) Art. 90. The provisions on co-ownership shall apply to the absolute community of property between the spouses in all matters not provided for in this Chapter. (n) Section 2. What Constitutes Community Property Art. 91. Unless otherwise provided in this Chapter or in the marriage settlements, the community property shall consist of all the property owned by the spouses at the time of the celebration of the marriage or acquired thereafter. (197a) Art. 92. The following shall be excluded from the community property: (1) Property acquired during the marriage by gratuitous title by either spouse, and the fruits as 247

well as the income thereof, if any, unless it is expressly provided by the donor, testator or grantor that they shall form part of the community property; (2) Property for personal and exclusive use of either spouse. However, jewelry shall form part of the community property; (3) Property acquired before the marriage by either spouse who has legitimate descendants by a former marriage, and the fruits as well as the income, if any, of such property. (201a) Art. 93. Property acquired during the marriage is presumed to belong to the community, unless it is proved that it is one of those excluded therefrom. (160)

Section 3. Charges and Obligations of the Absolute Community Art. 94. The absolute community of property shall be liable for: (1) The support of the spouses, their common children, and legitimate children of either spouse; however, the support of illegitimate children shall be governed by the provisions of this Code on Support; 248

(2) All debts and obligations contracted during the marriage by the designated administratorspouse for the benefit of the community, or by both spouses, or by one spouse with the consent of the other; (3) Debts and obligations contracted by either spouse without the consent of the other to the extent that the family may have been benefited; (4) All taxes, liens, charges and expenses, including major or minor repairs, upon the community property; (5) All taxes and expenses for mere preservation made during marriage upon the separate property of either spouse used by the family; (6) Expenses to enable either spouse to commence or complete a professional or vocational course, or other activity for selfimprovement; (7) Ante-nuptial debts of either spouse insofar as they have redounded to the benefit of the family; (8) The value of what is donated or promised by both spouses in favor of their common legitimate children for the exclusive purpose of commencing or completing a professional or vocational course or other activity for selfimprovement; (9) Ante-nuptial debts of either spouse other than those falling under paragraph (7) of this Article, the support of illegitimate children of either spouse, and liabilities incurred by either spouse 249

by reason of a crime or a quasi-delict, in case of absence or insufficiency of the exclusive property of the debtor-spouse, the payment of which shall be considered as advances to be deducted from the share of the debtor-spouse upon liquidation of the community; and (10) Expenses of litigation between the spouses unless the suit is found to be groundless. If the community property is insufficient to cover the foregoing liabilities, except those falling under paragraph (9), the spouses shall be solidarily liable for the unpaid balance with their separate properties. (161a, 162a, 163a, 202a205a) Art. 95. Whatever may be lost during the marriage in any game of chance, betting, sweepstakes, or any other kind of gambling, whether permitted or prohibited by law, shall be borne by the loser and shall not be charged to the community but any winnings therefrom shall form part of the community property. (164a) Section 4. Ownership, Administrative, Art. 96. The administration and enjoyment of the community property shall belong to both spouses jointly. In case of disagreement, the husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision shall prevail, subject to recourse to the court by the wife for proper remedy, which must 250

be availed of within five years from the date of the contract implementing such decision. In the event that one spouse is incapacitated or otherwise unable to participate in the administration of the common properties, the other spouse may assume sole powers of administration. These powers do not include disposition or encumbrance without authority of the court or the written consent of the other spouse. In the absence of such authority or consent, the disposition or encumbrance shall be void. However, the transaction shall be construed as a continuing offer on the part of the consenting spouse and the third person, and may be perfected as a binding contract upon the acceptance by the other spouse or authorization by the court before the offer is withdrawn by either or both offerors. (206a) Art. 97. Either spouse may dispose by will of his or her interest in the community property. (n) Art. 98. Neither spouse may donate any community property without the consent of the other. However, either spouse may, without the consent of the other, make moderate donations from the community property for charity or on occasions of family rejoicing or family distress. (n) Section 5. Dissolution of Absolute Community Regime 251

Art. 99. The absolute community terminates: (1) Upon the death of either spouse; (2) When there is a decree of legal separation; (3) When the marriage is annulled or declared void; or (4) In case of judicial separation of property during the marriage under Articles 134 to 138. (175a) Art. 100. The separation in fact between husband and wife shall not affect the regime of absolute community except that: (1) The spouse who leaves the conjugal home or refuses to live therein, without just cause, shall not have the right to be supported; (2) When the consent of one spouse to any transaction of the other is required by law, judicial authorization shall be obtained in a summary proceeding; (3) In the absence of sufficient community property, the separate property of both spouses shall be solidarily liable for the support of the family. The spouse present shall, upon proper petition in a summary proceeding, be given judicial authority to administer or encumber any specific separate property of the other spouse and use the fruits or proceeds thereof to satisfy the latterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s share. (178a) 252

Art. 101. If a spouse without just cause abandons the other or fails to comply with his or her obligations to the family, the aggrieved spouse may petition the court for receivership, for judicial separation of property or for authority to be the sole administrator of the absolute community, subject to such precautionary conditions as the court may impose. The obligations to the family mentioned in the preceding paragraph refer to marital, parental or property relations. A spouse is deemed to have abandoned the other when her or she has left the conjugal dwelling without intention of returning. The spouse who has left the conjugal dwelling for a period of three months or has failed within the same period to give any information as to his or her whereabouts shall be prima facie presumed to have no intention of returning to the conjugal dwelling. (178a) Section 6. Liquidation of the Absolute Community Art. 102. Upon dissolution of the absolute community regime, the following procedure shall apply: (1) An inventory shall be prepared, listing separately all the properties of the absolute 253

community and the exclusive properties of each spouse. (2) The debts and obligations of the absolute community shall be paid out of its assets. In case of insufficiency of said assets, the spouses shall be solidarily liable for the unpaid balance with their separate properties in accordance with the provisions of the second paragraph of Article 94. (3) Whatever remains of the exclusive properties of the spouses shall thereafter be delivered to each of them. (4) The net remainder of the properties of the absolute community shall constitute its net assets, which shall be divided equally between husband and wife, unless a different proportion or division was agreed upon in the marriage settlements, or unless there has been a voluntary waiver of such share provided in this Code. For purpose of computing the net profits subject to forfeiture in accordance with Articles 43, No. (2) and 63, No. (2), the said profits shall be the increase in value between the market value of the community property at the time of the celebration of the marriage and the market value at the time of its dissolution. (5) The presumptive legitimes of the common children shall be delivered upon partition, in accordance with Article 51. (6) Unless otherwise agreed upon by the parties, in the partition of the properties, the conjugal 254

dwelling and the lot on which it is situated shall be adjudicated to the spouse with whom the majority of the common children choose to remain. Children below the age of seven years are deemed to have chosen the mother, unless the court has decided otherwise. In case there in no such majority, the court shall decide, taking into consideration the best interests of said children. (n) Art. 103. Upon the termination of the marriage by death, the community property shall be liquidated in the same proceeding for the settlement of the estate of the deceased. If no judicial settlement proceeding is instituted, the surviving spouse shall liquidate the community property either judicially or extrajudicially within six months from the death of the deceased spouse. If upon the lapse of the six months period, no liquidation is made, any disposition or encumbrance involving the community property of the terminated marriage shall be void. Should the surviving spouse contract a subsequent marriage without compliance with the foregoing requirements, a mandatory regime of complete separation of property shall govern the property relations of the subsequent marriage. (n) Art. 104. community contracted effectivity

Whenever the liquidation of the properties of two or more marriages by the same person before the of this Code is carried out 255

simultaneously, the respective capital, fruits and income of each community shall be determined upon such proof as may be considered according to the rules of evidence. In case of doubt as to which community the existing properties belong, the same shall be divided between the different communities in proportion to the capital and duration of each. (189a) Chapter 4. Conjugal Partnership of Gains SECTION 1. GENERAL PROVISIONS Art. 105. In case the future spouses agree in the marriage settlements that the regime of conjugal partnership gains shall govern their property relations during marriage, the provisions in this Chapter shall be of supplementary application. The provisions of this Chapter shall also apply to conjugal partnerships of gains already established between spouses before the effectivity of this Code, without prejudice to vested rights already acquired in accordance with the Civil Code or other laws, as provided in Article 256. (n) Art. 106. Under the regime of conjugal partnership of gains, the husband and wife place in a common fund the proceeds, products, fruits and income from their separate properties and those acquired by either or both spouses through their efforts or by chance, and, upon dissolution of the marriage or of the partnership, the net gains or benefits obtained by either or both 256

spouses shall be divided equally between them, unless otherwise agreed in the marriage settlements. (142a) Art. 107. The rules provided in Articles 88 and 89 shall also apply to conjugal partnership of gains. (n) Art. 108. The conjugal partnership shall be governed by the rules on the contract of partnership in all that is not in conflict with what is expressly determined in this Chapter or by the spouses in their marriage settlements. (147a) Section 2. Exclusive Property of Each Spouse Art. 109. The following shall be the exclusive property of each spouse: (1) That which is brought to the marriage as his or her own; (2) That which each acquires during the marriage by gratuitous title; (3) That which is acquired by right of redemption, by barter or by exchange with property belonging to only one of the spouses; and (4) That which is purchased with exclusive money of the wife or of the husband. (148a)

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Art. 110. The spouses retain the ownership, possession, administration and enjoyment of their exclusive properties. Either spouse may, during the marriage, transfer the administration of his or her exclusive property to the other by means of a public instrument, which shall be recorded in the registry of property of the place the property is located. (137a, 168a, 169a) Art. 111. A spouse of age may mortgage, encumber, alienate or otherwise dispose of his or her exclusive property, without the consent of the other spouse, and appear alone in court to litigate with regard to the same. (n) Art. 112. The alienation of any exclusive property of a spouse administered by the other automatically terminates the administration over such property and the proceeds of the alienation shall be turned over to the owner-spouse. (n) Art. 113. Property donated or left by will to the spouses, jointly and with designation of determinate shares, shall pertain to the doneespouses as his or her own exclusive property, and in the absence of designation, share and share alike, without prejudice to the right of accretion when proper. (150a) Art. 114. If the donations are onerous, the amount of the charges shall be borne by the exclusive property of the donee spouse, whenever they

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have been advanced by the conjugal partnership of gains. (151a) Art. 115. Retirement benefits, pensions, annuities, gratuities, usufructs and similar benefits shall be governed by the rules on gratuitous or onerous acquisitions as may be proper in each case. (n) Section 3. Conjugal Partnership Property Art. 116. All property acquired during the marriage, whether the acquisition appears to have been made, contracted or registered in the name of one or both spouses, is presumed to be conjugal unless the contrary is proved. (160a) Art. 117. The following are conjugal partnership properties: (1) Those acquired by onerous title during the marriage at the expense of the common fund, whether the acquisition be for the partnership, or for only one of the spouses; (2) Those obtained from the labor, industry, work or profession of either or both of the spouses; (3) The fruits, natural, industrial, or civil, due or received during the marriage from the common property, as well as the net fruits from the exclusive property of each spouse; (4) The share of either spouse in the hidden treasure which the law awards to the finder or 259

owner of the property where the treasure is found; (5) Those acquired through occupation such as fishing or hunting; (6) Livestock existing upon the dissolution of the partnership in excess of the number of each kind brought to the marriage by either spouse; and (7) Those which are acquired by chance, such as winnings from gambling or betting. However, losses therefrom shall be borne exclusively by the loser-spouse. (153a, 154a, 155, 159) Art. 118. Property bought on installments paid partly from exclusive funds of either or both spouses and partly from conjugal funds belongs to the buyer or buyers if full ownership was vested before the marriage and to the conjugal partnership if such ownership was vested during the marriage. In either case, any amount advanced by the partnership or by either or both spouses shall be reimbursed by the owner or owners upon liquidation of the partnership. (n) Art. 119. Whenever an amount or credit payable within a period of time belongs to one of the spouses, the sums which may be collected during the marriage in partial payments or by installments on the principal shall be the exclusive property of the spouse. However, interests falling due during the marriage on the principal shall belong to the conjugal partnership. (156a, 157a) 260

Art. 120. The ownership of improvements, whether for utility or adornment, made on the separate property of the spouses at the expense of the partnership or through the acts or efforts of either or both spouses shall pertain to the conjugal partnership, or to the original ownerspouse, subject to the following rules: When the cost of the improvement made by the conjugal partnership and any resulting increase in value are more than the value of the property at the time of the improvement, the entire property of one of the spouses shall belong to the conjugal partnership, subject to reimbursement of the value of the property of the owner-spouse at the time of the improvement; otherwise, said property shall be retained in ownership by the owner-spouse, likewise subject to reimbursement of the cost of the improvement. In either case, the ownership of the entire property shall be vested upon the reimbursement, which shall be made at the time of the liquidation of the conjugal partnership. (158a) Section 4. Charges Upon and Obligations of the Conjugal Partnership Art. 121. The conjugal partnership shall be liable for: (1) The support of the spouse, their common children, and the legitimate children of either 261

spouse; however, the support of illegitimate children shall be governed by the provisions of this Code on Support; (2) All debts and obligations contracted during the marriage by the designated administratorspouse for the benefit of the conjugal partnership of gains, or by both spouses or by one of them with the consent of the other; (3) Debts and obligations contracted by either spouse without the consent of the other to the extent that the family may have benefited; (4) All taxes, liens, charges, and expenses, including major or minor repairs upon the conjugal partnership property; (5) All taxes and expenses for mere preservation made during the marriage upon the separate property of either spouse; (6) Expenses to enable either spouse to commence or complete a professional, vocational, or other activity for selfimprovement; (7) Ante-nuptial debts of either spouse insofar as they have redounded to the benefit of the family; (8) The value of what is donated or promised by both spouses in favor of their common legitimate children for the exclusive purpose of commencing or completing a professional or vocational course or other activity for selfimprovement; and 262

(9) Expenses of litigation between the spouses unless the suit is found to groundless. If the conjugal partnership is insufficient to cover the foregoing liabilities, the spouses shall be solidarily liable for the unpaid balance with their separate properties. (161a) Art. 122. The payment of personal debts contracted by the husband or the wife before or during the marriage shall not be charged to the conjugal properties partnership except insofar as they redounded to the benefit of the family. Neither shall the fines and pecuniary indemnities imposed upon them be charged to the partnership. However, the payment of personal debts contracted by either spouse before the marriage, that of fines and indemnities imposed upon them, as well as the support of illegitimate children of either spouse, may be enforced against the partnership assets after the responsibilities enumerated in the preceding Article have been covered, if the spouse who is bound should have no exclusive property or if it should be insufficient; but at the time of the liquidation of the partnership, such spouse shall be charged for what has been paid for the purpose abovementioned. (163a) Art. 123. Whatever may be lost during the marriage in any game of chance or in betting, sweepstakes, or any other kind of gambling 263

whether permitted or prohibited by law, shall be borne by the loser and shall not be charged to the conjugal partnership but any winnings therefrom shall form part of the conjugal partnership property. (164a) Section 5. Administration of the Conjugal Partnership Property Art. 124. The administration and enjoyment of the conjugal partnership shall belong to both spouses jointly. In case of disagreement, the husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision shall prevail, subject to recourse to the court by the wife for proper remedy, which must be availed of within five years from the date of the contract implementing such decision. In the event that one spouse is incapacitated or otherwise unable to participate in the administration of the conjugal properties, the other spouse may assume sole powers of administration. These powers do not include disposition or encumbrance without authority of the court or the written consent of the other spouse. In the absence of such authority or consent, the disposition or encumbrance shall be void. However, the transaction shall be construed as a continuing offer on the part of the consenting spouse and the third person, and may be perfected as a binding contract upon the 264

acceptance by the other spouse or authorization by the court before the offer is withdrawn by either or both offerors. (165a) Art. 125. Neither spouse may donate any conjugal partnership property without the consent of the other. However, either spouse may, without the consent of the other, make moderate donations from the conjugal partnership property for charity or on occasions of family rejoicing or family distress. (174a) Section 6. Dissolution of Conjugal Partnership Regime Art. 126. The conjugal partnership terminates: (1) Upon the death of either spouse; (2) When there is a decree of legal separation; (3) When the marriage is annulled or declared void; or (4) In case of judicial separation of property during the marriage under Articles 134 to 138. (175a) Art. 127. The separation in fact between husband and wife shall not affect the regime of conjugal partnership, except that: (1) The spouse who leaves the conjugal home or refuses to live therein, without just cause, shall not have the right to be supported; 265

(2) When the consent of one spouse to any transaction of the other is required by law, judicial authorization shall be obtained in a summary proceeding; (3) In the absence of sufficient conjugal partnership property, the separate property of both spouses shall be solidarily liable for the support of the family. The spouse present shall, upon petition in a summary proceeding, be given judicial authority to administer or encumber any specific separate property of the other spouse and use the fruits or proceeds thereof to satisfy the latterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s share. (178a) Art. 128. If a spouse without just cause abandons the other or fails to comply with his or her obligation to the family, the aggrieved spouse may petition the court for receivership, for judicial separation of property, or for authority to be the sole administrator of the conjugal partnership property, subject to such precautionary conditions as the court may impose. The obligations to the family mentioned in the preceding paragraph refer to marital, parental or property relations. A spouse is deemed to have abandoned the other when he or she has left the conjugal dwelling without intention of returning. The spouse who has left the conjugal dwelling for a period of three months or has failed within the same period to give any information as to his or her 266

whereabouts shall be prima facie presumed to have no intention of returning to the conjugal dwelling. (167a, 191a) Section 7. Liquidation of the Conjugal Partnership Assets and Liabilities Art. 129. Upon the dissolution of the conjugal partnership regime, the following procedure shall apply: (1) An inventory shall be prepared, listing separately all the properties of the conjugal partnership and the exclusive properties of each spouse. (2) Amounts advanced by the conjugal partnership in payment of personal debts and obligations of either spouse shall be credited to the conjugal partnership as an asset thereof. (3) Each spouse shall be reimbursed for the use of his or her exclusive funds in the acquisition of property or for the value of his or her exclusive property, the ownership of which has been vested by law in the conjugal partnership. (4) The debts and obligations of the conjugal partnership shall be paid out of the conjugal assets. In case of insufficiency of said assets, the spouses shall be solidarily liable for the unpaid balance with their separate properties, in

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accordance with the provisions of paragraph (2) of Article 121. (5) Whatever remains of the exclusive properties of the spouses shall thereafter be delivered to each of them. (6) Unless the owner had been indemnified from whatever source, the loss or deterioration of movables used for the benefit of the family, belonging to either spouse, even due to fortuitous event, shall be paid to said spouse from the conjugal funds, if any. (7) The net remainder of the conjugal partnership properties shall constitute the profits, which shall be divided equally between husband and wife, unless a different proportion or division was agreed upon in the marriage settlements or unless there has been a voluntary waiver or forfeiture of such share as provided in this Code. (8) The presumptive legitimes of the common children shall be delivered upon the partition in accordance with Article 51. (9) In the partition of the properties, the conjugal dwelling and the lot on which it is situated shall, unless otherwise agreed upon by the parties, be adjudicated to the spouse with whom the majority of the common children choose to remain. Children below the age of seven years are deemed to have chosen the mother, unless the court has decided otherwise. In case there is no such majority, the court shall decide, taking into 268

consideration the best interests of said children. (181a, 182a, 183a, 184a, 185a) Art. 130. Upon the termination of the marriage by death, the conjugal partnership property shall be liquidated in the same proceeding for the settlement of the estate of the deceased. If no judicial settlement proceeding is instituted, the surviving spouse shall liquidate the conjugal partnership property either judicially or extrajudicially within six months from the death of the deceased spouse. If upon the lapse of the sixmonth period no liquidation is made, any disposition or encumbrance involving the conjugal partnership property of the terminated marriage shall be void. Should the surviving spouse contract a subsequent marriage without compliance with the foregoing requirements, a mandatory regime of complete separation of property shall govern the property relations of the subsequent marriage. (n) Art. 131. Whenever the liquidation of the conjugal partnership properties of two or more marriages contracted by the same person before the effectivity of this Code is carried out simultaneously, the respective capital, fruits and income of each partnership shall be determined upon such proof as may be considered according to the rules of evidence. In case of doubt as to which partnership the existing properties belong, the same shall be divided between the different 269

partnerships in proportion to the capital and duration of each. (189a) Art. 132. The Rules of Court on the administration of estates of deceased persons shall be observed in the appraisal and sale of property of the conjugal partnership, and other matters which are not expressly determined in this Chapter. (187a) Art. 133. From the common mass of property support shall be given to the surviving spouse and to the children during the liquidation of the inventoried property and until what belongs to them is delivered; but from this shall be deducted that amount received for support which exceeds the fruits or rents pertaining to them. (188a)

Chapter 5. Separation of Property of the Spouses and Administration of Common Property by One Spouse During the Marriage Art. 134. In the absence of an express declaration in the marriage settlements, the separation of property between spouses during the marriage shall not take place except by judicial order. Such judicial separation of property may either be voluntary or for sufficient cause. (190a)

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Art. 135. Any of the following shall be considered sufficient cause for judicial separation of property: (1) That the spouse of the petitioner has been sentenced to a penalty which carries with it civil interdiction; (2) That the spouse of the petitioner has been judicially declared an absentee; (3) That loss of parental authority of the spouse of petitioner has been decreed by the court; (4) That the spouse of the petitioner has abandoned the latter or failed to comply with his or her obligations to the family as provided for in Article 101; (5) That the spouse granted the power of administration in the marriage settlements has abused that power; and (6) That at the time of the petition, the spouses have been separated in fact for at least one year and reconciliation is highly improbable. In the cases provided for in Numbers (1), (2) and (3), the presentation of the final judgment against the guilty or absent spouse shall be enough basis for the grant of the decree of judicial separation of property. (191a) Art. 136. The spouses may jointly file a verified petition with the court for the voluntary dissolution of the absolute community or the

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conjugal partnership of gains, and for the separation of their common properties. All creditors of the absolute community or of the conjugal partnership of gains, as well as the personal creditors of the spouse, shall be listed in the petition and notified of the filing thereof. The court shall take measures to protect the creditors and other persons with pecuniary interest. (191a) Art. 137. Once the separation of property has been decreed, the absolute community or the conjugal partnership of gains shall be liquidated in conformity with this Code. During the pendency of the proceedings for separation of property, the absolute community or the conjugal partnership shall pay for the support of the spouses and their children. (192a) Art. 138. After dissolution of the absolute community or of the conjugal partnership, the provisions on complete separation of property shall apply. (191a) Art. 139. The petition for separation of property and the final judgment granting the same shall be recorded in the proper local civil registries and registries of property. (193a) Art. 140. The separation of property shall not prejudice the rights previously acquired by creditors. (194a) Art. 141. The spouses may, in the same proceedings where separation of property was decreed, file a motion in court for a decree 272

reviving the property regime that existed between them before the separation of property in any of the following instances: (1) When the civil interdiction terminates; (2) When the absentee spouse reappears; (3) When the court, being satisfied that the spouse granted the power of administration in the marriage settlements will not again abuse that power, authorizes the resumption of said administration; (4) When the spouse who has left the conjugal home without a decree of legal separation resumes common life with the other; (5) When parental authority is judicially restored to the spouse previously deprived thereof; (6) When the spouses who have separated in fact for at least one year, reconcile and resume common life; or (7) When after voluntary dissolution of the absolute community of property or conjugal partnership has been judicially decreed upon the joint petition of the spouses, they agree to the revival of the former property regime. No voluntary separation of property may thereafter be granted. The revival of the former property regime shall be governed by Article 67. (195a)

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Art. 142. The administration of all classes of exclusive property of either spouse may be transferred by the court to the other spouse: (1) When one spouse becomes the guardian of the other; (2) When one spouse is judicially declared an absentee; (3) When one spouse is sentenced to a penalty which carries with it civil interdiction; or (4) When one spouse becomes a fugitive from justice or is in hiding as an accused in a criminal case. If the other spouse is not qualified by reason of incompetence, conflict of interest, or any other just cause, the court shall appoint a suitable person to be the administrator. (n) Chapter 6. Regime of Separation of Property Art. 143. Should the future spouses agree in the marriage settlements that their property relations during marriage shall be governed by the regime of separation of property, the provisions of this Chapter shall be suppletory. (212a) Art. 144. Separation of property may refer to present or future property or both. It may be total or partial. In the latter case, the property not agreed upon as separate shall pertain to the absolute community. (213a) 274

Art. 145. Each spouse shall own, dispose of, possess, administer and enjoy his or her own separate estate, without need of the consent of the other. To each spouse shall belong all earnings from his or her profession, business or industry and all fruits, natural, industrial or civil, due or received during the marriage from his or her separate property. (214a) Art. 146. Both spouses shall bear the family expenses in proportion to their income, or, in case of insufficiency or default thereof, to the current market value of their separate properties. The liabilities of the spouses to creditors for family expenses shall, however, be solidary. (215a) Chapter 7. Property Regime of Unions Without Marriage Art. 147. When a man and a woman who are capacitated to marry each other, live exclusively with each other as husband and wife without the benefit of marriage or under a void marriage, their wages and salaries shall be owned by them in equal shares and the property acquired by both of them through their work or industry shall be governed by the rules on co-ownership. In the absence of proof to the contrary, properties acquired while they lived together shall be presumed to have been obtained by their joint 275

efforts, work or industry, and shall be owned by them in equal shares. For purposes of this Article, a party who did not participate in the acquisition by the other party of any property shall be deemed to have contributed jointly in the acquisition thereof if the formerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s efforts consisted in the care and maintenance of the family and of the household. Neither party can encumber or dispose by acts inter vivos of his or her share in the property acquired during cohabitation and owned in common, without the consent of the other, until after the termination of their cohabitation. When only one of the parties to a void marriage is in good faith, the share of the party in bad faith in the co-ownership shall be forfeited in favor of their common children. In case of default of or waiver by any or all of the common children or their descendants, each vacant share shall belong to the respective surviving descendants. In the absence of descendants, such share shall belong to the innocent party. In all cases, the forfeiture shall take place upon termination of the cohabitation. (144a) Art. 148. In cases of cohabitation not falling under the preceding Article, only the properties acquired by both of the parties through their actual joint contribution of money, property, or industry shall be owned by them in common in proportion to their respective contributions. In the absence of proof to the contrary, their 276

contributions and corresponding shares are presumed to be equal. The same rule and presumption shall apply to joint deposits of money and evidences of credit. If one of the parties is validly married to another, his or her share in the co-ownership shall accrue to the absolute community or conjugal partnership existing in such valid marriage. If the party who acted in bad faith is not validly married to another, his or her shall be forfeited in the manner provided in the last paragraph of the preceding Article. The foregoing rules on forfeiture shall likewise apply even if both parties are in bad faith. (144a)

TITLE V Art. 149. The family, being the foundation of the nation, is a basic social institution which public policy cherishes and protects. Consequently, family relations are governed by law and no custom, practice or agreement destructive of the family shall be recognized or given effect. (216a, 218a) Art. 50. Family relations include those: (1) Between husband and wife; (2) Between parents and children; 277

(3) Among brothers and sisters, whether of the full or half-blood. (217a) Art. 151. No suit between members of the same family shall prosper unless it should appear from the verified complaint or petition that earnest efforts toward a compromise have been made, but that the same have failed. If it is shown that no such efforts were in fact made, the same case must be dismissed. This rules shall not apply to cases which may not be the subject of compromise under the Civil Code. (222a) Chapter 2. The Family Home Art. 152. The family home, constituted jointly by the husband and the wife or by an unmarried head of a family, is the dwelling house where they and their family reside, and the land on which it is situated. (223a) Art. 153. The family home is deemed constituted on a house and lot from the time it is occupied as a family residence. From the time of its constitution and so long as any of its beneficiaries actually resides therein, the family home continues to be such and is exempt from execution, forced sale or attachment except as hereinafter provided and to the extent of the value allowed by law. (223a) 278

Art. 154. The beneficiaries of a family home are: (1) The husband and wife, or an unmarried person who is the head of a family; and (2) Their parents, ascendants, descendants, brothers and sisters, whether the relationship be legitimate or illegitimate, who are living in the family home and who depend upon the head of the family for legal support. (226a) Art. 155. The family home shall be exempt from execution, forced sale or attachment except: (1) For nonpayment of taxes; (2) For debts incurred prior to the constitution of the family home; (3) For debts secured by mortgages on the premises before or after such constitution; and (4) For debts due to laborers, mechanics, architects, builders, materialmen and others who have rendered service or furnished material for the construction of the building. (243a) Art. 156. The family home must be part of the properties of the absolute community or the conjugal partnership, or of the exclusive properties of either spouse with the latterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s consent. It may also be constituted by an unmarried head of a family on his or her own property. Nevertheless, property that is the subject of a conditional sale on installments where ownership is reserved by the vendor only to guarantee 279

payment of the purchase price may be constituted as a family home. (227a, 228a) Art. 157. The actual value of the family home shall not exceed, at the time of its constitution, the amount of the three hundred thousand pesos in urban areas, and two hundred thousand pesos in rural areas, or such amounts as may hereafter be fixed by law. In any event, if the value of the currency changes after the adoption of this Code, the value most favorable for the constitution of a family home shall be the basis of evaluation. For purposes of this Article, urban areas are deemed to include chartered cities and municipalities whose annual income at least equals that legally required for chartered cities. All others are deemed to be rural areas. (231a) Art. 158. The family home may be sold, alienated, donated, assigned or encumbered by the owner or owners thereof with the written consent of the person constituting the same, the latterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spouse, and a majority of the beneficiaries of legal age. In case of conflict, the court shall decide. (235a) Art. 159. The family home shall continue despite the death of one or both spouses or of the unmarried head of the family for a period of ten years or for as long as there is a minor beneficiary, and the heirs cannot partition the same unless the court finds compelling reasons 280

therefor. This rule shall apply regardless of whoever owns the property or constituted the family home. (238a) Art. 160. When a creditor whose claims is not among those mentioned in Article 155 obtains a judgment in his favor, and he has reasonable grounds to believe that the family home is actually worth more than the maximum amount fixed in Article 157, he may apply to the court which rendered the judgment for an order directing the sale of the property under execution. The court shall so order if it finds that the actual value of the family home exceeds the maximum amount allowed by law as of the time of its constitution. If the increased actual value exceeds the maximum allowed in Article 157 and results from subsequent voluntary improvements introduced by the person or persons constituting the family home, by the owner or owners of the property, or by any of the beneficiaries, the same rule and procedure shall apply. At the execution sale, no bid below the value allowed for a family home shall be considered. The proceeds shall be applied first to the amount mentioned in Article 157, and then to the liabilities under the judgment and the costs. The excess, if any, shall be delivered to the judgment debtor. (247a, 248a) Art. 161. For purposes of availing of the benefits of a family home as provided for in this Chapter,

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a person may constitute, or be the beneficiary of, only one family home. (n) Art. 162. The provisions in this Chapter shall also govern existing family residences insofar as said provisions are applicable. (n) TITLE VI Art. 163. The filiation of children may be by nature or by adoption. Natural filiation may be legitimate or illegitimate. (n) Art. 164. Children conceived or born during the marriage of the parents are legitimate. Children conceived as a result of artificial insemination of the wife with the sperm of the husband or that of a donor or both are likewise legitimate children of the husband and his wife, provided, that both of them authorized or ratified such insemination in a written instrument executed and signed by them before the birth of the child. The instrument shall be recorded in the civil registry together with the birth certificate of the child. (55a, 258a) Art. 165. Children conceived and born outside a valid marriage are illegitimate, unless otherwise provided in this Code. (n) Art. 166. Legitimacy of a child may be impugned only on the following grounds: 282

(1) That it was physically impossible for the husband to have sexual intercourse with his wife within the first 120 days of the 300 days which immediately preceded the birth of the child because of: (a) the physical incapacity of the husband to have sexual intercourse with his wife; (b) the fact that the husband and wife were living separately in such a way that sexual intercourse was not possible; or (c) serious illness of the husband, which absolutely prevented sexual intercourse; (2) That it is proved that for biological or other scientific reasons, the child could not have been that of the husband, except in the instance provided in the second paragraph of Article 164; or (3) That in case of children conceived through artificial insemination, the written authorization or ratification of either parent was obtained through mistake, fraud, violence, intimidation, or undue influence. (255a) Art. 167. The child shall be considered legitimate although the mother may have declared against its legitimacy or may have been sentenced as an adulteress. (256a) Art. 168. If the marriage is terminated and the mother contracted another marriage within three hundred days after such termination of the former 283

marriage, these rules shall govern in the absence of proof to the contrary: (1) A child born before one hundred eighty days after the solemnization of the subsequent marriage is considered to have been conceived during the former marriage, provided it be born within three hundred days after the termination of the former marriage; (2) A child born after one hundred eighty days following the celebration of the subsequent marriage is considered to have been conceived during such marriage, even though it be born within the three hundred days after the termination of the former marriage. (259a) Art. 169. The legitimacy or illegitimacy of a child born after three hundred days following the termination of the marriage shall be proved by whoever alleges such legitimacy or illegitimacy. (261a) Art. 170. The action to impugn the legitimacy of the child shall be brought within one year from the knowledge of the birth or its recording in the civil register, if the husband or, in a proper case, any of his heirs, should reside in the city or municipality where the birth took place or was recorded. If the husband or, in his default, all of his heirs do not reside at the place of birth as defined in the first paragraph or where it was recorded, the period shall be two years if they should reside in 284

the Philippines; and three years if abroad. If the birth of the child has been concealed from or was unknown to the husband or his heirs, the period shall be counted from the discovery or knowledge of the birth of the child or of the fact of registration of said birth, whichever is earlier. (263a) Art. 171. The heirs of the husband may impugn the filiation of the child within the period prescribed in the preceding article only in the following cases: (1) If the husband should died before the expiration of the period fixed for bringing his action; (2) If he should die after the filing of the complaint without having desisted therefrom; or (3) If the child was born after the death of the husband. (262a) Chapter 2. Proof of Filiation Art. 172. The filiation of legitimate children is established by any of the following: (1) The record of birth appearing in the civil register or a final judgment; or (2) An admission of legitimate filiation in a public document or a private handwritten instrument and signed by the parent concerned. 285

In the absence of the foregoing evidence, the legitimate filiation shall be roved by: (1) The open and continuous possession of the status of a legitimate child; or (2) Any other means allowed by the Rules of Court and special laws. (265a, 266a, 267a) Art. 173. The action to claim legitimacy may be brought by the child during his or her lifetime and shall be transmitted to the heirs should the child die during minority or in a state of insanity. In these cases, the heirs shall have a period of five years within which to institute the action. Art. 174. Legitimate children shall have the right: (1) To bear the surnames of the father and the mother, in conformity with the provisions of the Civil Code on Surnames; (2) To receive support from their parents, their ascendants, and in proper cases, their brothers and sisters, in conformity with the provisions of this Code on Support; and (3) To be entitled to the legitimate and other successional rights granted to them by the Civil Code. (264a)

Chapter 3. Illegitimate Children

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Art. 175. Illegitimate children may establish their illegitimate filiation in the same way and on the same evidence as legitimate children. The action must be brought within the same period specified in Article 173, except when the action is based on the second paragraph of Article 172, in which case the action may be brought during the lifetime of the alleged parent. (289a) Art. 176. Illegitimate children shall use the surname and shall be under the parental authority of their mother, and shall be entitled to support in conformity with this Code. The legitime of each illegitimate child shall consist of one-half of the legitime of a legitimate child. Except for this modification, all other provisions in the Civil Code governing successional rights shall remain in force. (287a) Chapter 4. Legitimated Children Art. 177. Only children conceived and born outside of wedlock of parents who, at the time of the conception of the former, were not disqualified by any impediment to marry each other may be legitimated. (269a) Art. 178. Legitimation shall take place by a subsequent valid marriage between parents. The annulment of a voidable marriage shall not affect the legitimation. (270a) 287

Art. 179. Legitimated children shall enjoy the same rights as legitimate children. (272a) Art. 180. The effects of legitimation shall retroact to the time of the childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s birth. (273a) Art. 181. The legitimation of children who died before the celebration of the marriage shall benefit their descendants. (274) Art. 182. Legitimation may be impugned only by those who are prejudiced in their rights, within five years from the time their cause of action accrues. (275a) TITLE VII ADOPTION Art. 183. A person of age and in possession of full civil capacity and legal rights may adopt, provided he is in a position to support and care for his children, legitimate or illegitimate, in keeping with the means of the family. Only minors may be adopted, except in the cases when the adoption of a person of majority age is allowed in this Title. In addition, the adopter must be at least sixteen years older than the person to be adopted, unless the adopter is the parent by nature of the adopted, or is the spouse of the legitimate parent of the person to be adopted. (27a, E. O. 91 and PD 603) Art. 184. The following persons may not adopt: 288

(1) The guardian with respect to the ward prior to the approval of the final accounts rendered upon the termination of their guardianship relation; (2) Any person who has been convicted of a crime involving moral turpitude; (3) An alien, except: (a) A former Filipino citizen who seeks to adopt a relative by consanguinity; (b) One who seeks to adopt the legitimate child of his or her Filipino spouse; or (c) One who is married to a Filipino citizen and seeks to adopt jointly with his or her spouse a relative by consanguinity of the latter. Aliens not included in the foregoing exceptions may adopt Filipino children in accordance with the rules on inter-country adoptions as may be provided by law. (28a, E. O. 91 and PD 603) Art. 185. Husband and wife must jointly adopt, except in the following cases: (1) When one spouse seeks to adopt his own illegitimate child; or (2) When one spouse seeks to adopt the legitimate child of the other. (29a, E. O. 91 and PD 603) Art. 186. In case husband and wife jointly adopt or one spouse adopts the legitimate child of the other, joint parental authority shall be exercised by the spouses in accordance with this Code. (29a, E. O. and PD 603) 289

Art. 187. The following may not be adopted: (1) A person of legal age, unless he or she is a child by nature of the adopter or his or her spouse, or, prior to the adoption, said person has been consistently considered and treated by the adopter as his or her own child during minority. (2) An alien with whose government the Republic of the Philippines has no diplomatic relations; and (3) A person who has already been adopted unless such adoption has been previously revoked or rescinded. (30a, E. O. 91 and PD 603) Art. 188. The written consent of the following to the adoption shall be necessary: (1) The person to be adopted, if ten years of age or over, (2) The parents by nature of the child, the legal guardian, or the proper government instrumentality; (3) The legitimate and adopted children, ten years of age or over, of the adopting parent or parents; (4) The illegitimate children, ten years of age or over, of the adopting parent, if living with said parent and the latterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spouse, if any; and (5) The spouse, if any, of the person adopting or to be adopted. (31a, E. O. 91 and PD 603) Art. 189. Adoption shall have the following effects: 290

(1) For civil purposes, the adopted shall be deemed to be a legitimate child of the adopters and both shall acquire the reciprocal rights and obligations arising from the relationship of parent and child, including the right of the adopted to use the surname of the adopters; (2) The parental authority of the parents by nature over the adopted shall terminate and be vested in the adopters, except that if the adopter is the spouse of the parent by nature of the adopted, parental authority over the adopted shall be exercised jointly by both spouses; and (3) The adopted shall remain an intestate heir of his parents and other blood relatives. (39(1)a, (3)a, PD 603) Art. 190. Legal or intestate succession to the estate of the adopted shall be governed by the following rules: (1) Legitimate and illegitimate children and descendants and the surviving spouse of the adopted shall inherit from the adopted, in accordance with the ordinary rules of legal or intestate succession; (2) When the parents, legitimate or illegitimate, or the legitimate ascendants of the adopted concur with the adopter, they shall divide the entire estate, one-half to be inherited by the parents or ascendants and the other half, by the adopters;

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(3) When the surviving spouse or the illegitimate children of the adopted concur with the adopters, they shall divide the entire estate in equal shares, one-half to be inherited by the spouse or the illegitimate children of the adopted and the other half, by the adopters. (4) When the adopters concur with the illegitimate children and the surviving spouse of the adopted, they shall divide the entire estate in equal shares, one-third to be inherited by the illegitimate children, one-third by the surviving spouse, and one-third by the adopters; (5) When only the adopters survive, they shall inherit the entire estate; and (6) When only collateral blood relatives of the adopted survive, then the ordinary rules of legal or intestate succession shall apply. (39(4)a, PD 603) Art. 191. If the adopted is a minor or otherwise incapacitated, the adoption may be judicially rescinded upon petition of any person authorized by the court or proper government instrumental acting on his behalf, on the same grounds prescribed for loss or suspension of parental authority. If the adopted is at least eighteen years of age, he may petition for judicial rescission of the adoption on the same grounds prescribed for disinheriting an ascendant. (40a, PD 603)

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Art. 192. The adopters may petition the court for the judicial rescission of the adoption in any of the following cases: (1) If the adopted has committed any act constituting ground for disinheriting a descendant; or (2) When the adopted has abandoned the home of the adopters during minority for at least one year, or, by some other acts, has definitely repudiated the adoption. (41a, PD 603) Art. 193. If the adopted minor has not reached the age of majority at the time of the judicial rescission of the adoption, the court in the same proceeding shall reinstate the parental authority of the parents by nature, unless the latter are disqualified or incapacitated, in which case the court shall appoint a guardian over the person and property of the minor. If the adopted person is physically or mentally handicapped, the court shall appoint in the same proceeding a guardian over his person or property or both. Judicial rescission of the adoption shall extinguish all reciprocal rights and obligations between the adopters and the adopted arising from the relationship of parent and child. The adopted shall likewise lose the right to use the surnames of the adopters and shall resume his surname prior to the adoption.

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The court shall accordingly order the amendment of the records in the proper registries. (42a, PD 603) TITLE VIII Art. 194. Support comprises everything indispensable for sustenance, dwelling, clothing, medical attendance, education and transportation, in keeping with the financial capacity of the family. The education of the person entitled to be supported referred to in the preceding paragraph shall include his schooling or training for some profession, trade or vocation, even beyond the age of majority. Transportation shall include expenses in going to and from school, or to and from place of work. (290a) Art. 195. Subject to the provisions of the succeeding articles, the following are obliged to support each other to the whole extent set forth in the preceding article: (1) The spouses; (2) Legitimate ascendants and descendants; (3) Parents and their legitimate children and the legitimate and illegitimate children of the latter; (4) Parents and their illegitimate children and the legitimate and illegitimate children of the latter; and 294

(5) Legitimate brothers and sisters, whether of full or half-blood (291a) Art. 196. Brothers and sisters not legitimately related, whether of the full or half-blood, are likewise bound to support each other to the full extent set forth in Article 194, except only when the need for support of the brother or sister, being of age, is due to a cause imputable to the claimantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fault or negligence. (291a) Art. 197. In case of legitimate ascendants; descendants, whether legitimate or illegitimate; and brothers and sisters, whether legitimately or illegitimately related, only the separate property of the person obliged to give support shall be answerable provided that in case the obligor has no separate property, the absolute community or the conjugal partnership, if financially capable, shall advance the support, which shall be deducted from the share of the spouse obliged upon the liquidation of the absolute community or of the conjugal partnership. (n) Art. 198. During the proceedings for legal separation or for annulment of marriage, and for declaration of nullity of marriage, the spouses and their children shall be supported from the properties of the absolute community or the conjugal partnership. After the final judgment granting the petition, the obligation of mutual support between the spouses ceases. However, in case of legal separation, the court may order that the guilty spouse shall give support to the 295

innocent one, specifying the terms of such order. (292a) Art. 199. Whenever two or more persons are obliged to give support, the liability shall devolve upon the following persons in the order herein provided: (1) The spouse; (2) The descendants in the nearest degree; (3) The ascendants in the nearest degree; and (4) The brothers and sisters. (294a) Art. 200. When the obligation to give support falls upon two or more persons, the payment of the same shall be divided between them in proportion to the resources of each. However, in case of urgent need and by special circumstances, the judge may order only one of them to furnish the support provisionally, without prejudice to his right to claim from the other obligors the share due from them. When two or more recipients at the same time claim support from one and the same person legally obliged to give it, should the latter not have sufficient means to satisfy all claims, the order established in the preceding article shall be followed, unless the concurrent obligees should be the spouse and a child subject to parental authority, in which case the child shall be preferred. (295a)

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Art. 201. The amount of support, in the cases referred to in Articles 195 and 196, shall be in proportion to the resources or means of the giver and to the necessities of the recipient. (296a) Art. 202. Support in the cases referred to in the preceding article shall be reduced or increased proportionately, according to the reduction or increase of the necessities of the recipient and the resources or means of the person obliged to furnish the same. (297a) Art. 203. The obligation to give support shall be demandable from the time the person who has a right to receive the same needs it for maintenance, but it shall not be paid except from the date of judicial or extra-judicial demand. Support pendente lite may be claimed in accordance with the Rules of Court. Payment shall be made within the first five days of each corresponding month or when the recipient dies, his heirs shall not be obliged to return what he has received in advance. (298a) Art. 204. The person obliged to give support shall have the option to fulfill the obligation either by paying the allowance fixed, or by receiving and maintaining in the family dwelling the person who has a right to receive support. The latter alternative cannot be availed of in case there is a moral or legal obstacle thereto. (299a) Art. 205. The right to receive support under this Title as well as any money or property obtained 297

as such support shall not be levied upon on attachment or execution. (302a) Art. 206. When, without the knowledge of the person obliged to give support, it is given by a stranger, the latter shall have a right to claim the same from the former, unless it appears that he gave it without intention of being reimbursed. (2164a) Art. 207. When the person obliged to support another unjustly refuses or fails to give support when urgently needed by the latter, any third person may furnish support to the needy individual, with right of reimbursement from the person obliged to give support. This Article shall particularly apply when the father or mother of a child under the age of majority unjustly refuses to support or fails to give support to the child when urgently needed. (2166a) Art. 208. In case of contractual support or that given by will, the excess in amount beyond that required for legal support shall be subject to levy on attachment or execution. Furthermore, contractual support shall be subject to adjustment whenever modification is necessary due to changes of circumstances manifestly beyond the contemplation of the parties. (n) TITLE IX

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Art. 209. Pursuant to the natural right and duty of parents over the person and property of their unemancipated children, parental authority and responsibility shall include the caring for and rearing them for civic consciousness and efficiency and the development of their moral, mental and physical character and well-being. (n) Art. 210. Parental authority and responsibility may not be renounced or transferred except in the cases authorized by law. (313a) Art. 211. The father and the mother shall jointly exercise parental authority over the persons of their common children. In case of disagreement, the fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision shall prevail, unless there is a judicial order to the contrary. Children shall always observe respect and reverence towards their parents and are obliged to obey them as long as the children are under parental authority. (311a) Art. 212. In case of absence or death of either parent, the parent present shall continue exercising parental authority. The remarriage of the surviving parent shall not affect the parental authority over the children, unless the court appoints another person to be the guardian of the person or property of the children. (n) Art. 213. In case of separation of the parents, parental authority shall be exercised by the parent designated by the Court. The Court shall take into account all relevant considerations, especially the 299

choice of the child over seven years of age, unless the parent chosen is unfit. (n) Art. 214. In case of death, absence or unsuitability of the parents, substitute parental authority shall be exercised by the surviving grandparent. In case several survive, the one designated by the court, taking into account the same consideration mentioned in the preceding article, shall exercise the authority. (355a) Art. 215. No descendant shall be compelled, in a criminal case, to testify against his parents and grandparents, except when such testimony is indispensable in a crime against the descendant or by one parent against the other. (315a) Chapter 2. Substitute and Special Parental Authority Art. 216. In default of parents or a judicially appointed guardian, the following person shall exercise substitute parental authority over the child in the order indicated: (1) The surviving grandparent, as provided in Art. 214; (2) The oldest brother or sister, over twenty-one years of age, unless unfit or disqualified; and (3) The childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actual custodian, over twenty-one years of age, unless unfit or disqualified. 300

Whenever the appointment or a judicial guardian over the property of the child becomes necessary, the same order of preference shall be observed. (349a, 351a, 354a) Art. 217. In case of foundlings, abandoned neglected or abused children and other children similarly situated, parental authority shall be entrusted in summary judicial proceedings to heads of childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s homes, orphanages and similar institutions duly accredited by the proper government agency. (314a) Art. 218. The school, its administrators and teachers, or the individual, entity or institution engaged in child are shall have special parental authority and responsibility over the minor child while under their supervision, instruction or custody. Authority and responsibility shall apply to all authorized activities whether inside or outside the premises of the school, entity or institution. (349a) Art. 129. Those given the authority and responsibility under the preceding Article shall be principally and solidarily liable for damages caused by the acts or omissions of the unemancipated minor. The parents, judicial guardians or the persons exercising substitute parental authority over said minor shall be subsidiarily liable.

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The respective liabilities of those referred to in the preceding paragraph shall not apply if it is proved that they exercised the proper diligence required under the particular circumstances. All other cases not covered by this and the preceding articles shall be governed by the provisions of the Civil Code on quasi-delicts. (n) Chapter 3. Effect of Parental Authority Upon the Persons of the Children Art. 220. The parents and those exercising parental authority shall have with the respect to their unemancipated children on wards the following rights and duties: (1) To keep them in their company, to support, educate and instruct them by right precept and good example, and to provide for their upbringing in keeping with their means; (2) To give them love and affection, advice and counsel, companionship and understanding; (3) To provide them with moral and spiritual guidance, inculcate in them honesty, integrity, self-discipline, self-reliance, industry and thrift, stimulate their interest in civic affairs, and inspire in them compliance with the duties of citizenship; (4) To furnish them with good and wholesome educational materials, supervise their activities, 302

recreation and association with others, protect them from bad company, and prevent them from acquiring habits detrimental to their health, studies and morals; (5) To represent them in all matters affecting their interests; (6) To demand from them respect and obedience; (7) To impose discipline on them as may be required under the circumstances; and (8) To perform such other duties as are imposed by law upon parents and guardians. (316a) Art. 221. Parents and other persons exercising parental authority shall be civilly liable for the injuries and damages caused by the acts or omissions of their unemancipated children living in their company and under their parental authority subject to the appropriate defenses provided by law. (2180(2)a and (4)a ) Art. 222. The courts may appoint a guardian of the childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s property or a guardian ad litem when the best interests of the child so requires. (317) Art. 223. The parents or, in their absence or incapacity, the individual, entity or institution exercising parental authority, may petition the proper court of the place where the child resides, for an order providing for disciplinary measures over the child. The child shall be entitled to the assistance of counsel, either of his choice or appointed by the court, and a summary hearing 303

shall be conducted wherein the petitioner and the child shall be heard. However, if in the same proceeding the court finds the petitioner at fault, irrespective of the merits of the petition, or when the circumstances so warrant, the court may also order the deprivation or suspension of parental authority or adopt such other measures as it may deem just and proper. (318a) Art. 224. The measures referred to in the preceding article may include the commitment of the child for not more than thirty days in entities or institutions engaged in child care or in childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s homes duly accredited by the proper government agency. The parent exercising parental authority shall not interfere with the care of the child whenever committed but shall provide for his support. Upon proper petition or at its own instance, the court may terminate the commitment of the child whenever just and proper. (391a) Chapter 4. Effect of Parental Authority Upon the Property of the Children Art. 225. The father and the mother shall jointly exercise legal guardianship over the property of the unemancipated common child without the necessity of a court appointment. In case of 304

disagreement, the fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision shall prevail, unless there is a judicial order to the contrary. Where the market value of the property or the annual income of the child exceeds P50,000, the parent concerned shall be required to furnish a bond in such amount as the court may determine, but not less than ten per centum (10%) of the value of the property or annual income, to guarantee the performance of the obligations prescribed for general guardians. A verified petition for approval of the bond shall be filed in the proper court of the place where the child resides, or, if the child resides in a foreign country, in the proper court of the place where the property or any part thereof is situated. The petition shall be docketed as a summary special proceeding in which all incidents and issues regarding the performance of the obligations referred to in the second paragraph of this Article shall be heard and resolved. The ordinary rules on guardianship shall be merely suppletory except when the child is under substitute parental authority, or the guardian is a stranger, or a parent has remarried, in which case the ordinary rules on guardianship shall apply. (320a) Art. 226. The property of the unemancipated child earned or acquired with his work or industry or by onerous or gratuitous title shall belong to the child in ownership and shall be 305

devoted exclusively to the latter’s support and education, unless the title or transfer provides otherwise. The right of the parents over the fruits and income of the child’s property shall be limited primarily to the child’s support and secondarily to the collective daily needs of the family. (321a, 323a) Art. 227. If the parents entrust the management or administration of any of their properties to an unemancipated child, the net proceeds of such property shall belong to the owner. The child shall be given a reasonable monthly allowance in an amount not less than that which the owner would have paid if the administrator were a stranger, unless the owner, grants the entire proceeds to the child. In any case, the proceeds thus give in whole or in part shall not be charged to the child’s legitime. (322a) Chapter 5. Suspension or Termination of Parental Authority Art. 228. Parental permanently:

authority

terminates

(1) Upon the death of the parents; (2) Upon the death of the child; or (3) Upon emancipation of the child. (327a) Art. 229. Unless subsequently revived by a final judgment, parental authority also terminates: 306

(1) Upon adoption of the child; (2) Upon appointment of a general guardian; (3) Upon judicial declaration of abandonment of the child in a case filed for the purpose; (4) Upon final judgment of a competent court divesting the party concerned of parental authority; or (5) Upon judicial declaration of absence or incapacity of the person exercising parental authority. (327a) Art. 230. Parental authority is suspended upon conviction of the parent or the person exercising the same of a crime which carries with it the penalty of civil interdiction. The authority is automatically reinstated upon service of the penalty or upon pardon or amnesty of the offender. (330a) Art. 231. The court in an action filed for the purpose in a related case may also suspend parental authority if the parent or the person exercising the same: (1) Treats the child with excessive harshness or cruelty; (2) Gives the child corrupting orders, counsel or example; (3) Compels the child to beg; or (4) Subjects the child or allows him to be subjected to acts of lasciviousness. 307

The grounds enumerated above are deemed to include cases which have resulted from culpable negligence of the parent or the person exercising parental authority. If the degree of seriousness so warrants, or the welfare of the child so demands, the court shall deprive the guilty party of parental authority or adopt such other measures as may be proper under the circumstances. The suspension or deprivation may be revoked and the parental authority revived in a case filed for the purpose or in the same proceeding if the court finds that the cause therefor has ceased and will not be repeated. (33a) Art. 232. If the person exercising parental authority has subjected the child or allowed him to be subjected to sexual abuse, such person shall be permanently deprived by the court of such authority. (n) Art. 233. The person exercising substitute parental authority shall have the same authority over the person of the child as the parents. In no case shall the school administrator, teacher of individual engaged in child care exercising special parental authority inflict corporal punishment upon the child. (n) TITLE X

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Art. 234. Emancipation takes place by the attainment of majority. Unless otherwise provided, majority commences at the age of twenty-one years. Emancipation also takes place: (1) By the marriage of the minor; or (2) By the recording in the Civil Register of an agreement in a public instrument executed by the parent exercising parental authority and the minor at least eighteen years of age. Such emancipation shall be irrevocable. (397a, 398a, 400a, 401a) Art. 235. The provisions governing emancipation by recorded agreement shall also apply to an orphan minor and the person exercising parental authority but the agreement must be approved by the court before it is recorded. (n) Art. 236. Emancipation for any cause shall terminate parental authority over the person and property of the child who shall then be qualified and responsible for all acts of civil life. (412a) Art. 237. The annulment or declaration of nullity of the marriage of a minor or of the recorded agreement mentioned in the foregoing. Articles 234 and 235 shall revive the parental authority over the minor but shall not affect acts and transactions that took place prior to the recording of the final judgment in the Civil Register. (n)

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TITLE XI Art. 238. Until modified by the Supreme Court, the procedural rules provided for in this Title shall apply as regards separation in fact between husband and wife, abandonment by one of the other, and incidents involving parental authority. (n) Chapter 2. Separation in Fact Art. 239. When a husband and wife are separated in fact, or one has abandoned the other and one of them seeks judicial authorization for a transaction where the consent of the other spouse is required by law but such consent is withheld or cannot be obtained, a verified petition may be filed in court alleging the foregoing facts. The petition shall attach the proposed deed, if any, embodying the transaction, and, if none, shall describe in detail the said transaction and state the reason why the required consent thereto cannot be secured. In any case, the final deed duly executed by the parties shall be submitted to and approved by the court. (n) Art. 240. Claims for damages by either spouse, except costs of the proceedings, may be litigated only in a separate action. (n)

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Art. 241. Jurisdiction over the petition shall, upon proof of notice to the other spouse, be exercised by the proper court authorized to hear family cases, if one exists, or in the regional trial court or its equivalent sitting in the place where either of the spouses resides. (n) Art. 242. Upon the filing of the petition, the court shall notify the other spouse, whose consent to the transaction is required, of said petition, ordering said spouse to show cause why the petition should not be granted, on or before the date set in said notice for the initial conference. The notice shall be accompanied by a copy of the petition and shall be served at the last known address of the spouse concerned. (n) Art. 243. A preliminary conference shall be conducted by the judge personally without the parties being assisted by counsel. After the initial conference, if the court deems it useful, the parties may be assisted by counsel at the succeeding conferences and hearings. (n) Art. 244. In case of non-appearance of the spouse whose consent is sought, the court shall inquire into the reasons for his failure to appear, and shall require such appearance, if possible. (n) Art. 245. If, despite all efforts, the attendance of the non-consenting spouse is not secured, the court may proceed ex parte and render judgment as the facts and circumstances may warrant. In any case, the judge shall endeavor to protect the interests of the non-appearing spouse. (n) 311

Art. 246. If the petition is not resolved at the initial conference, said petition shall be decided in a summary hearing on the basis of affidavits, documentary evidence or oral testimonies at the sound discretion of the court. If testimony is needed, the court shall specify the witnesses to be heard and the subject-matter of their testimonies, directing the parties to present said witnesses. (n) Art. 247. The judgment of the court shall be immediately final and executory. (n) Art. 248. The petition for judicial authority to administer or encumber specific separate property of the abandoning spouse and to use the fruits or proceeds thereof for the support of the family shall also be governed by these rules. (n)

Chapter 3. Incidents Involving Parental Authority Art. 249. Petitions filed under Articles 223, 225 and 235 of this Code involving parental authority shall be verified. (n) Art. 250. Such petitions shall be verified and filed in the proper court of the place where the child resides. (n) Art. 251. Upon the filing of the petition, the court shall notify the parents or, in their absence or 312

incapacity, the individuals, entities or institutions exercising parental authority over the child. (n) Art. 252. The rules in Chapter 2 hereof shall also govern summary proceedings under this Chapter insofar as they are applicable. (n) Chapter 4. Other Matters Subject to Summary Proceedings Art. 253. The foregoing rules in Chapters 2 and 3 hereof shall likewise govern summary proceedings filed under Articles 41, 51, 69, 73, 96, 124 and 127, insofar as they are applicable. (n) TITLE XII Art. 254. Titles III, IV, V, VI, VIII, IX, XI, and XV of Book 1 of Republic Act No. 386, otherwise known as the Civil Code of the Philippines, as amended, and Articles 17, 18, 19, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 39, 40, 41, and 42 of Presidential Decree No. 603, otherwise known as the Child and Youth Welfare Code, as amended, and all laws, decrees, executive orders, proclamations, rules and regulations, or parts thereof, inconsistent herewith are hereby repealed. Art. 255. If any provision of this Code is held invalid, all the other provisions not affected thereby shall remain valid. 313

Art. 256. This Code shall have retroactive effect insofar as it does not prejudice or impair vested or acquired rights in accordance with the Civil Code or other laws. Art. 257. This Code shall take effect one year after the completion of its publication in a newspaper of general circulation, as certified by the Executive Secretary, Office of the President. Done in the City of Manila, this 6th day of July, in the year of Our Lord, nineteen hundred and eighty-seven. (Sgd.) CORAZON C. AQUINO President of the Philippines By the President: (Sgd.) JOKER Executive Secretary

ARROYO

Source: Presidential Management Staff Office

of the President of the Philippines. (1987). [Executive Order Nos. : 171390]. Manila : Presidential Management Staff.

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