2 minute read
HIT/BITCH
from Jerk May 2021
May 20 Ryan O’Connell – who graced SU with his presence in 2019 – returns to our Netflix screens this spring with a new season of Special, a semi-autobiographical story that follows a gay man with cerebral palsy as he navigates his identity and career. The upcoming season will close off the series, much to our dismay.
NATIONAL WINE DAY
May 25 You read that right; it’s officially wine o’clock everywhere. There’s never been a better time to fill that “Rosé All Day” tumbler to pregame the vineyard. All we ask is that you lay off the "you had me at HIT merlot" and "I’m on cloud wine" hashtags — the world already knows you treat a bottle of Sauv like it’s equivalent to therapy, Ashley.
BILLIE EILISH "HAPPIER THAN EVER" ALBUM
July 30 There’s nothing like a singer introducing a new era of their career with a bombshell photoshoot – and Billie’s done just that. Billie Eilish’s Marilyn Monroe-esque cover story with British Vogue left us all speechless and ready for her new album, Happier Than Ever.
THE ANTICIPATION OF DUNE
October 2021 We’re still waiting for that prime Timmy and Zendaya content... Not sure when or why we became Dune stans, but we're not mad.
GRADUATIONS 1, 2, AND 3
May 22-23 If trying to get tickets for graduation on Ticketmaster wasn’t hard enough, now we actually have to...graduate. And we’re expected to find our “dream job”? Let’s be real: Jerk simply does not dream of labor.
MERCURY RETROGRADE
May 29 - June 22 If you haven’t realized by now, Jerk loves astrology but by that we mean being personally victimized by Co–Star’s push notifications. One thing we do NOT love is when Mercury is retrograde. So while you’re second guessing every single interaction for a month, try sipping on some Retrograde PRIDE MONTH RAINBOW WASHING June 2021 “There is no ethical consumption under capitalism” — Karl Marx, probably. The fake solidarity during Pride Month from corporations isn’t fooling Rum Punch to calm your nerves (yes, we just pulled a shameless promo for 21+/-).BITCH anyone (Listerine literally released a pride edition mouthwash bottle). And don’t get us started on the over-the-top pride collection from Target.
LANA DEL REY’S “BLUE BANISTERS”
July 4 We’ll be the first to admit that Lana Del Rey influenced our entire aesthetic – chain smoking cigarettes and riding on the back of a motorcycle of some sugar daddy… Who wouldn’t want to be her? But at this point, the PicsArt album covers have become too much.
