Savor the Second by Mrs. Barbara Deutsch

The Jewish Home | JULY 28, 2022 Israel Today Savoring Every Second

By Mrs. Barbara Deutsch

Every day, we log more than 10,000 steps walking on these ancient streets. I have to remember to wear shoes with strong grips on the soles to ensure that I don’t slip and slide on the well-worn cobblestones.

Anywhere I go – from the elevator in my hotel, to a tourist site, a restaurant or a store – I run into someone I know or knew; it always seems to open a floodgate of emotions and memories. Every encounter turns into an event.

Some snapshots:

The elevator in my hotel is regulated from an outside panel; you need to press the number for your floor outside the doors. After you do that, an overhead sign directs you to which elevator to take to your destination. It takes some getting used to, but at this point when I get on a regular elevator, I sometimes just stand there waiting for it to take me; I forget to press the floor button.

Last week, I got on the elevator with a confused young woman who did not understand where and how to get the elevator to take her to her desired floor. As I explained the process we started chatting and playing Jewish geography – 18 floors takes a little time – and when we reached the lobby, she commented that I look familiar from home.

We exchanged some introductory details including where we are from.

“Cedarhurst,” I said.

“Me too,” she answered.

“Really? What block?” I asked.

“Oakwood,” she responded.

My block is Oakwood, but I had never seen her before. This morning, we had breakfast and exchanged phone numbers.

Her mother texted me that we had to go 6,000 miles to meet each other.

Yesterday, while I was rushing to meet my daughter for our weekly class, I stopped when I heard my name.

“Mrs. Deutsch? I don’t know if you remember me but I remember you from Camp Morasha; I was in the Kollel and you used to speak on Shabbos at shalosh seudot, the evening meal. I need to tell you something.”

He went on to say how a talk he heard from me still resonates all these years later; it’s been over 30 years. The session topic was “Eishes Chayil,” a prayer sung with the Friday night kiddush. At that time, I had been to a number of funerals for women, and I noticed that when the rabbi spoke about the departed and there was not much to say, or he did not know her, the totality of his speech would be a recitation of this song.

The message I was giving (even in those days I had what to say) is that when we leave this world, what will be said about you? Will the speeches be able to share accomplishments of lasting value? What is your legacy?

Meeting this former camper, now a teacher and community rabbi in the States, set me off on a reflective journey thinking about how we use our allotted time. Do we make the most of the opportunities we have been given?

This encounter made me wonder about the value and content of the impressions we leave, directly and indirectly, on the people that cross paths with us – finding out that 30 years ago a random talk I gave about how to make the most of your time made such an impression on a young teen that it has guided his life’s choices.

This left me wondering about the different things that I may have said to people, directly and indirectly, throughout the course of my career. Have my words hurt – I hope not – or helped?

Israel is a small country with the new and old existing side by side. We went to the Jerusalem Botanical Gardens, located high up another Jerusalem hill. This new exhibit recreates roaring dinosaurs living within the garden foliage. As a visitor, it is disconcerting to be in a jungle with roaming ancient creatures while looking out on a horizon of modern-day construction.

When we visited DCity, a fancy furniture mall with a purposefully glitzy Las Vegas food court, we saw that it was set up to feel like night all day long. Once again, we felt that same ancient/modern cognitive dissonance.

What’s a Roosevelt Field/Las Vegas type mall doing in Jerusalem?

Don’t know.

Walking into the food court, I heard my name. “Barbara, is that you?”

Sure enough, my dear friends and former Brooklyn neighbor’s cousin, who grew up in West Hempstead and now lives in Israel, was calling my name.

“Shulie, is that you?” I responded.

Wow! Wow again. I have not seen her in so many years; before she became a grownup and a grandmother. Of course, I started to cry as memories of her parents and grandparents flooded me. We hugged and hugged again as we shared the “good old days.”

And because this is Israel, her husband is my granddaughter’s dentist.

We are in the middle of the three week countdown to Tisha B’Av; we should use these days as an opportunity to reflect on our actions and words and to consider the impact that they have on our children and peers.

Educators, especially, have to own that; our words can cripple or build a child. Our actions make a difference in how they grow and develop.

These encounters have reminded me that it is important to be more present and not distracted when speaking and engaging with people. You never know how your relationship and words will affect the people you know and want to know – what will they carry away from meeting and knowing you.

We no longer live with dinosaurs but our phone dependence, mine included, has set up walls to real in-person interaction. Perhaps, we should all take some daily time-outs from using them?

All makes for a lot of reflection.

Shabbat Shalom. Watch what you say, stay safe and savor every fleeting moment. It all goes by so quickly.

Barbara Deutsch is currently the associate principal at HANC 609 and a longtime reflective educator, parent, grandparent, and new great-grandparent. Even after all these years, she still loves what she does and looks forward to working with kids every single day. She is vacationing in Israel for the summer.