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* TJH Centerfold

How People Around the World Watch the World Cup

 British - By taking a break from watching replays of the royal farewell to the Queen for 90 minutes so they can squeeze the game in.  French - By waving white flags and a few bottles of wine.

 Italians - What’s the difference to you how I watch the game, wise guy? Ya think ya smart? Have a slice of pizza!  Russians - By drinking Stolichnaya vodka and reminiscing about the Golden Age when Mother

Russia dominated soccer. (What? It never happened?

Sure, it did. Look in any Russian history book.)  Canadians - By declaring that even though their team stinks, Canadians are great at hockey… “ey?”  South Africans - By popping their eardrums by blowing on vuvuzelas for 6 hours straight.  Israelis - They don’t watch the game – they coach the game from the front seats of their taxi cabs. Mah zeh lecha?

 North Koreans - By chanting for roly poly Kim Jung

Un to enter the game and score 55 goals, because he is the best soccer player who ever lived.  Chinese - By playing for their prayers to succeed.  Egyptians - By stampeding and killing 100 people if their team loses and 250 people if their team wins.  Iranians - By having a half-time “Death to Israel and

America” show and then celebrating either a victory or loss with some flag burning.  Cubans - By sitting in front of the newest 21st century invention – black and white TVs.  Americans - By gathering all their friends for a massive party with mad chicken wings, burgers and whole wheat wraps stuffed with grilled chicken, mayo and avocado (for the guy who is “on a diet”). Once they are done eating, they fall onto the couch and fall asleep…before the game even starts.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

What do you call an American at a World Cup Final?

Riddle Me This

Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be?

SOCCER TRIVIA

1. Brazilian soccer player Ronaldo de Assis Moreira was the FIFA

World Player of the Year in 2004 and 2005 after scoring how many goals in one game? a. 3 b. 7 c. 12 d. 23

2. What happens when during a game a player is given a “red card”? a. He must go to the penalty box for 5 minutes b. He is not allowed to touch the ball on the inbounds pass c. He is ejected from the game d. He gets free dinner at a local restaurant

3. How many players per team are on the field at one time? a. 5 b. 8 c. 11 d. 15

4. If a player is fouled in the 18-yard box surrounding the opponent’s goal, what happens? a. He is awarded a penalty kick b. His team gets to inbound the ball within the opponent’s 18yard box c. There is a 5-minute power play, which means two players from the other team must sit on the bench d. His team is automatically given a point 5. How many minutes is an official professional soccer game? a. 45 b. 60 c. 75 d. 90

6. Which country has won the most World

Cups to date? a. Mexico b. Brazil c. Venezuela d. Italy

7. Martinho Eduardo Orige of Brazil holds the World Record for which of the following? a. Being the only player to win the World Cup three times b. Being the only player to not give up a goal in an entire season c. Scoring 13 goals in one game d. Juggling a soccer ball for 19.5 hours

Answers 1. D- At the age of 13, Moreira scored all 23 goals in a 23-0 victory against another local football team, propelling him to soccer fame. 2. C- A red card means an ejection. When a player is ejected, his team must play a man down. Yellow cards are a caution when a player fouls too much. If a player gets two yellow cards in a game, he is ejected. A few things lead to a straight red card, including tackles from behind. 3. C

4. A- If a player is fouled in the 18-yard box surrounding the opponent’s goal, he is awarded a penalty kick. It’s a player-versusgoalkeeper scenario where the referee places the ball on the penalty spot. 5. D -There are no timeouts in soccer. The clock runs continuously through two 45-minute halves. (There is a 15-minute halftime.) However, an official keeps track of time when the ball is not played (for an injury, goal, etc.) and extra time can be added to the end of each half. Usually, extra time is somewhere between 3 and 5 minutes, though it can be shorter or longer. 6. B- So far, Brazil has won five World Cups, followed by Italy and Germany, which won four World Cups. 7. D- Martinho Eduardo Orige juggled a regulation soccer ball for 19.5 hours non-stop with his feet, legs and head without the ball ever touching the ground.

SCORECARD 6-7 correct: You are a World Cup champion! 3-5 correct: You are good enough to be the 12th man on the soccer team. 0-2 correct: Your soccer intelligence reminds me of the USA 2022 FIFA World Cup team— practically nonexistent!