Parenting Pearls

Parenting Pearls Dealing with Childhood Illnesses

By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

Winter is officially starting! This is the perfect time to add soups and hot drinks to the menu. Unfortunately, it’s also when there is an increase in viruses and colds. As we spend more time together indoors – coughing and sneezing on each other – we share germs along with the companionship. With two of my children recovering from the first winter illnesses, this seemed like an appropriate time to brush up on tips and reminders for helping our children as they recuperate.

Children tend to catch lots of minor illnesses, share them with each other, and then feel confused and miserable. It’s a pattern experienced parents have seen happen again and again.

I am not a medical professional and will therefore not be giving any medical advice. It goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway) that if anything I write conflicts with your child’s medical needs, I defer to the medical professionals. Any questions regarding your child’s health should be directed towards their healthcare team. Please don’t hesitate to contact a professional when you’re unsure. Often we hesitate because we’re afraid our question sounds foolish. Don’t let that stop you from making that call; an experienced professional has dealt with many parents and every type of inquiry. While it’s better to call during working hours (when possible), there should always be someone on call at any hour should you need.

In this article, I will only be addressing the standard childhood illnesses such as colds, viruses, and fevers. Major medical situations (chas v’shalom) are beyond a simple article, and there are many organizations and professionals in the frum community geared towards those families.

Misery Loves Company

Sick children are miserable – and so are their parents. The little ones can’t sleep and are cranky throughout the day – as are their parents. There is no magical potion that will suddenly make a sick child better or even cheerful. But it can help parents prepare for the emotional upheaval when they consciously remind themselves in advance that they will have an unhappy little one and less sleep. Parents also may find it beneficial for their own sanity to remember this shouldn’t last more than a few days.

The younger patients are uniquely miserable because they can’t understand why they’re feeling so gross nor can they explain what’s hurting them. They are truly dependent on the adults in their life to recognize their needs and provide that extra comfort.

Parents can easily feel helpless, like there’s nothing they can do. Parents should be reassured that along with the pain can come comfort. Young children, in particular, find comfort in being near their parents. This can take the form of becoming clingier or just wanting to have a parent nearby.

Babies and toddlers can benefit from being worn in a baby carrier or held. I can’t count how many illnesses we made it through because the little one was glued to me in the carrier. It was calming for them, and they were finally able to sleep.

Bringing in the Professionals

Baruch Hashem, we are fortunate to be surrounded by caring physicians, numerous urgent cares, renowned hospitals and medical professionals of all types. There is no need to reinvent the wheel, and parents will benefit from having a healthcare provider they trust and are comfortable utilizing. As mentioned above, make the call when you need to and never feel foolish for trying to find the best care for your child.

It can be overwhelming to have a sick child. Parents are sleep-deprived, nervous, and often have a child screaming in their ear. It can be helpful to write down all instructions so they aren’t forgotten later. When doctors give me dosing or other information, I routinely ask them to write it down and they’re happy to do so. It’s much easier to get clarity during that initial conversation than to try to remember later when many hours have passed. If a parent is feeling particularly nervous or stressed, they may find it helpful to have another person hear the instructions, as well.

Writing it down is particularly important when it comes to dosing. This applies even to basic pain medications such as acetaminophen and ibuprofen, both of which are dosed based on weight in little ones – it’s far too easy to overdose, chas v’shalom. The pharmacist is another excellent resource for dosing and other medication questions.

Newborns are particularly sensitive and anything concerning should immediately be brought to their physician’s attention. Even a simple fever can, chas v’shalom, be dangerous.

tell you this is easier said than done.

Babies are on a predominantly liquid diet already. Your healthcare provider may ask you to ensure they’re maintaining their feeding schedule. Nursing babies will often want to nurse more when sick. They nurse both for hydration and comfort – the included antibodies don’t hurt either. Mom may find it helpful to drink more fluids herself and rest a bit (if possible) to ensure she can keep up with her nursling’s increased demand.

Congested nurslings may find it hard (and frustrating) to nurse. A healthcare provider or lactation consultant may have suggestions for effective means of clearing their congested nasal passages prior to feedings.

Young children need to be reminded to drink, and they often don’t realize they need to be seated fully upright when doing so. Additionally, they often leave their cup in a spot where it will tip over and spill. Having a sippy cup or similarly covered water bottle – rather than a regular cup – can be helpful in ensuring your child has water nearby that won’t spill on them as they rest and hydrate.

Older children and teens still need reminders to drink. They may find it helpful having an adult checking in to lovingly remind them to drink and refilling their water bottle. Besides the convenience for the patient, having a parent refill their water helps the adults to subtly keep tabs on how much they’re drinking. If you see the water level isn’t moving, you know they’re not drinking.

Dealing With Clean-up

Even adults that can handle all the other parts of parenting will complain

There is no magical potion that will suddenly make a sick child better or even cheerful.

about vomiting. I wasn’t even going to include this section because of the “yuck factor’’ but it’s a (disgusting) part of life and a little preparation can make it just a bit easier.

Adults know to run to the bathroom when they need to, but not all kids are that coordinated. Keeping a bin with a wide opening lined with multiple plastic bags is good for bigger kids and as overnight back-up. Do yourself a favor and double check to make sure the bags don’t have any holes in them – just trust me on this one.

Little kids will often not be able to aim into a bin and even slightly older children will still have problems when they get sick during the night. It’s been my personal experience that properly preparing the child’s sleeping area in

advance can make clean up easier and quicker. This is especially important before bed so any nighttime messes will cause the least disturbance.

Soiled sheets cause lots of laundry and take time to change. I prefer placing large, open towels under the child’s head area (over the sheets, pillow, etc.). When the inevitable mess happens, I simply replace the dirty towel with a clean one, and the bed is ready for the child again. My toddlers have learned to aim for the towel and keep the mess contained. Chux pads or similar plastic-lined items can be placed under the towel but never in cribs or near very young children.

I have found that oversized t-shirts are good pajamas at this time. They easily go over the head to be quickly removed after they’ve been dirtied, and then swiftly replaced with a new one. This is one of the reasons I maintain a stash of old camp t-shirts. This method (along with the towels) has drastically cut the time it takes to clean my children and get them back to bed.

As always, the most important step we can take is to daven for good health. Everything is in Hashem’s hands, but it’s often during times of illness that we feel it the most.

Wishing all of Klal Yisroel a wonderful Shabbos and a healthy winter!

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.