Dear Readers,

In this week’s issue, Miriam Hendeles, writing in our JWOW! column, talks about the importance of having a “pause” button in life. She writes about how there are times when we need to pause and take the moment to consider our actions or speech before launching into the next phase.

I agree with her that a pause button can be lifechanging, but instead of only using it for deliberation, we should use it to help us enjoy life more fully.

How often do you hear people lamenting the fact that they were so busy during certain stages in life that they forgot to enjoy the beauty of what they were busy with?

When your infant is barely sleeping and you’re juggling other children and myriad other responsibilities, it’s hard to take a step back, inhale deeply, and marvel at the miracle of those who are depending on you.

It’s challenging to focus on the blessing in the busyness of our days. But if we can take a moment to pause and reflect, we will be awed by the beauty and blessing that can be found in the hustle and bustle.

Recently, one of my daughters mentioned to me how excited she was that Shabbos was coming. She was looking forward to that “break” and couldn’t wait for that time off. The busier life becomes, the more appreciative I am of the G-d-given pause that we are gifted each week. Shabbos reminds us to take that deep breath and contemplate the blessings in our lives. It makes us more present and more grounded. It enjoins us to connect more with our families, with our Creator, with ourselves.

Yomim tovim are also part of that divine package of connection that we experience throughout the year. On Pesach, we feel exalted and exhilarated as we live through our liberation from slavery so many years ago. Looking around the Seder, seeing our families and our friends, hearing the ageold words of the Haggadah, listening to the tunes, practicing the minhagim…there is so much to take in and absorb if we pause and focus on the moment.

Pesach is probably the most labor-intensive of our holidays. But if we can take the time before yom tov to pause for a few moments to reflect and remind ourselves of the splendor found in the holiday and in the beauty of our frum lifestyle, we will enjoy our preparations so much more as we work to get ready for Zman Cheiruseinu.

Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana

Yitzy Halpern, PUBLISHER publisher@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Yosef Feinerman, MANAGING EDITOR ads@fivetownsjewishhome.com

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Friday, March 31

Parshas Tzav

Candle Lighting: 7:00 pm

Shabbos Ends: 8:01 pm

Rabbeinu Tam: 8:32 pm

Dear Editor,

I was in a clothing store today and overheard an exchange between two high school girls. These girls looked like good, sweet girls, but after hearing them chat, I walked away feeling very queasy.

One girl said to the other, “Oh, I’m here every day. What else am I supposed to do? I’m going to Florida next week, and there’s nothing to do at home. So I just shop and browse every day, even though I already bought all my clothes weeks ago. I’m so bored.”

This girl didn’t say this in a snotty or condescending tone. She was just matter of fact in stating that she has nothing else to do for the two weeks before Pesach, so she just spends her time doing clothing shopping.

I know that our wonderful educators have a reason for giving off substantial amounts of time before Pesach for our teenage girls. The girls work hard all year long, the teachers need time off before yom tov, and some girls actually help out at home.

But the more I hear from other mothers (I don’t yet have a high school girl), the more I hear that Pesach time off for many, many families turns into a shopping fest for their teenagers. Most homes in the Five Towns have cleaning help. Even if mothers can dare ask their teens to clean out a shelf or two or watch the baby for an hour or two, they often feel guilty that their child is the “only one” helping out at home while their friends are shopping and getting iced coffees.

I say this with much respect and ad- miration for those who run our wonderful girls’ schools who are helping to raise the next generation of Jewish mothers: is it perhaps about time to take a look at the school schedule and contemplate if such a long period of time off before Pesach is necessary – and healthy – for high school girls?

A Reader

Dear Editor,

This letter is addressed especially to music bands of all sizes – whether you play solo keyboard or you are part of a multi-part orchestra. It’s addressed to all the rabbanim of shtiebels and big shuls. It’s addressed to parents with kids from infants to teenagers. And, it’s addressed to all adults, especially the ones who can still hear something.

I recently made a wedding with numerous guests. We had a seven-piece band. I placed a box of earplugs outside the reception hall for people to take. When the band played, not one of my guests wore ear plugs. After the wedding, I asked about 100 guests two simple questions: Was the music too loud? Did you feel that you needed ear plugs? Not one person felt that the music was too loud. Many said that this was the first simcha event they attended in decades where they enjoyed the music because it was not overpoweringly loud.

My affair is clear evidence that one can enjoy simcha music without it needing to be loud. Yes, it is possible. I’ve

Continued on page 10

Continued from page 8 written several articles regarding the dangers of hearing loss caused by loud music. I’ve spoken to several rabbis and parents in the neighborhood about this ongoing problem. Several audiologists have told me that during the past decade or so, they have been seeing a dramatic increase in severe hearing loss among toddlers and teenagers in the Jewish religious community. Much of it is caused by loud music exposure coming from music bands and ear buds and headphones.

I am outraged that local rabbis, many who attend several simchot each week and know how loud the music is, shrug their shoulders and won’t address the problem one iota. I’m outraged that music bands feel that the only way their music can sound good is to make it loud. A few band leaders have said, “This is what the bride and groom / bar mitzvah boy / the parents want.” I’m skeptical that any host specifically came to a band leader to say, “Blast the music until the eardrums break.” Note, incidentally, that many of the band players are wearing headphones. That should indicate something. At my affair, not one band member wore headphones.

We plan to fight this outright negligence, and I hope that this letter is merely the beginning of a major change to educate the community about the immense problems of noise-induced hearing loss. I’m strongly requesting any reader to take immediate action on a massive level. Talk to your local rabbis and other leaders and request them to alert their congregants and band leaders about this problem. There are many web articles that discuss hearing loss. You can also email me at dannyfeldman@yahoo.com to discuss this issue. I’m happy to recommend the band that played at our affair, if you contact me. But, I think any band should accommodate the non-earplug volume if you would request and insist on it.

If everyone makes an effort, we will succeed in making a simcha not just during the affair, but one that will last a lifetime by preserving your and your family’s hearing.

Daniel Feldman

Dear Editor,

People are never happy whether one talks Positive or Negative. We say something that bothers us, we get a “may this be your biggest worry” or some other dismissive statement which basically tells me that I should have never said anything about it.

I say something positive such as how happy I am with Pesach cleaning and people still hate on me.

I was always a quiet person. The high school forced me to talk for the sake of talking, which had tons of repercussions well into my adult and married years and caused me pain with my parents, nearly got me fired, and made me want to do something drastic to end the pain.

I now doubled down on avoiding talking to people. Life has improved since then.

Society is never happy if someone is positive or negative.

The Quiet One

Dear Editor,

This past week, I forgot to pack my son’s lunch, and when I got the call from the school about it, I was panicked and crushed. It meant my son experienced a sad moment. Despite hearing that the school would work it out, I contacted everyone I knew to see if they could drop something off. In the end, it resolved.

The love we have for our children has no bounds, and we would do anything for them to be content and happy. It wasn’t lost on me that I forgot to bring my work to lunch that day as well. We are interlinked to our children in powerful ways.

Passing on the Pesach tradition to our children is affirming that we want them to be part of our foundations of faith.

Steven Genack