The Pause Button

By Miriam Hendeles

out thinking carefully about whether I would actually have the time to do it.

Or when the brownies on the table at a vort I recently went to called my name. I said yes, when pausing would have helped me reconsider that yes.

Or when someone asked me to help out with an organization, and I was frustrated with things going on in my life at without thinking things through?

Some phrases that are helpful to me these days, allowing others to give me time to think things through are, “Let me think about it and get back to you,” and “I don’t know.”

Pausing can sometimes pose a problem – when someone else does the pausing. When you’re in a rush and you want be filled with all sorts of meaning. that moment and said no without thinking it through.

You wonder – what’s behind that pause? Why didn’t they just begin gushing with praise? What on earth are they hiding from you? By the time they tell you about the person in question, you’ve already decided that the shidduch is a no-go. And you barely listen to what they say.

But no, the challenge is for you to pause as well. Think about it. Maybe the person paused because he or she was thinking how to formulate the words accurately? Maybe they have mastered the art of pausing and are deliberate and careful whenever they speak?

What’s wrong with pausing and saying, “I’ll think about it”?

When we get stuck on an issue in life, it is best if we pause and sleep on it. When we wake up in the morning, we usually have more clarity. I often wonder: would problems work themselves out if sufferers didn’t rush to fix them an answer immediately. Oftentimes, the pausing may be misread by the listener, as if the person pausing is perhaps hiding something. Let’s say you call someone to inquire about a shidduch prospect and you mention the name of the girl or boy. You expect the person to jump in and rave about said boy or girl, but instead there’s a long, pregnant pause at the other end of the phone wire. That pause can

We can still incorporate pause buttons in our daily lives. Let’s view pausing as something positive and not be suspicious of it. Almost nothing is so important that it can’t wait just a little bit. Right or wrong, forward or reverse, there’s always room for reflection and discussion.

Something to pause and think about…