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CLASSIFIEDS

CLASSIFIEDS

1. * TJH Centerfold

Shootin’ the Breeze

To ensure perfect aim, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Murphy’s Law of Combat: Never forget that your weapon was manufactured by the lowest bidder.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other [guy] die for his.

A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining?

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Army food: the spoils of war.

If at first you don’t succeed, call in an airstrike.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

Riddle Me This

At the beginning of World War I, the uniform of the British soldiers included a brown cloth cap. As the war went on, the British officials became more and more concerned about the growing number of soldiers suffering from head injuries. They decided to replace the cloth cap with a metal helmet. However, to their surprise, the number of soldiers with head injuries grew even more, although the intensity of the battles was the same before and after the change.

Why did the number of head injuries per battalion increase even though all the soldiers were wearing metal helmets instead of cloth caps?

than deaths. Therefore, the number of head injuries increased while the number of deaths decreased. have been registered as a death, not a wound. After metal helmets were introduced, the bullets caused injuries rather soldier was shot in the head by a bullet or a piece of shrapnel, it would penetrate his cloth cap and kill him. This would

The number of head injuries increased because the number of deaths decreased. Before metal helmets, if a Answer:

Memorial Day Trivia

1. Memorial Day was originally made to memorialize fallen soldiers from which war? a. Revolutionary War b. World War I c. Civil War d. Vietnam War

2. About two dozen towns across the United States claim they were the first to celebrate

Memorial (or Decoration)

Day. In 1966, Pres. Lyndon

B. Johnson by proclamation designated one place as the official birthplace of Memorial

Day. Which place was that? a. Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania b. Waterloo, New York c. Fargo, North Dakota d. Arlington, Virginia

3. Memorial Day was once called by another name. What was the former name? a. Decoration Day b. Military Remembrance Day c. Remembrance Day d. Freedom Day

4. According to federal guidelines, how should the U.S. flag be flown on Memorial Day? a. At half-staff all day b. At full-staff c. At half-staff in the afternoon d. At half-staff until noon

5. Bugle calls are musical signals that announce scheduled and certain non-scheduled events on an Army installation. During the Civil War, a U.S. general thought the bugle call signaling bedtime could use a more melodious tune, so he wrote the notes for a bugle call that is played at military funerals and at Memorial Day celebrations.

Which bugle call is that? a. Taps b. To the Color c. Retreat Call d. Ode to the Lost

6. By law, which of the following are Americans supposed to do on Memorial Day? a. While flying the U.S flag they must comply with the flag flying guidelines (which you may or may not know...no giveaways here) b. If they place too much

sauerkraut on their hotdog, they must first offer the excess kraut to another before discarding it c. Pause at 3 p.m. local time on

Memorial Day to remember and honor the fallen d. While visiting a military cemetery, they must place a flag on a grave

Answers: 1-C; 2-B; 3-A; 4-D; 5-A; 6-C

Wisdom Key: 5-6 Correct: I know what you will be doing on Memorial Day at 3PM— observing the national moment of silence. Remembering those who fought and died so that we can live in freedom is a good thing. 2-4 Correct: Not bad, you can brush up a bit, though. Start with observing the moment of silence at 3PM on Memorial Day. 0-1 Correct: You, too, should observe the 3PM Memorial Day moment of silence, celebrating the lives lost defending your right to know nothing about how we memorialize their ultimate sacrifice.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets. As he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge… No sir!

“I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line!”

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