Centerfold

1.

TJH Centerfold

Hi again, Underlings,

For every Purim picture that comes into TJH because of me, I get $10,000. That means that if one hundred underlings send in pictures, I make a cool million dollars. The truth is, I don’t even need the money (I make around $40,000,000 annually on endorsements) and will be donating it to the Bill Gates Foundation, so it’s not really about what I make. Regardless, remember to send your Purim pictures to editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com. In the subject line write “Purim Pics.” Don’t be late! Deadline is Monday, March 21 at 2pm. Get it? Got it? Good!

Your truly, CFC

Riddle Me This?

After having almost been poisoned, King Achashveirosh decided to inoculate himself from being poisoned again. He knew that in Paras, if you drank poison, the only way to save yourself is to drink a stronger poison, which neutralizes the weaker poison. So King Achashveirosh wanted to make sure that he possesses the strongest poison in the kingdom, in order to ensure his survival, in any situation.

He called the kingdom’s pharmacist and the kingdom’s treasurer, and he gave each a week to make the strongest poison. Then, each would drink the other one’s poison, then his own, and the one that will survive will be the one that had the stronger poison.

The pharmacist went straight to work, but the treasurer knew he had no chance, for the pharmacist was much more experienced in this fi eld, so instead, he made up a plan to survive and make sure the pharmacist dies. On the last day, the pharmacist suddenly realized that the treasurer would know he had no chance, so he must have a plan as well. After a little thought, the pharmacist realized what the treasurer’s plan must be, and so he concocted a counter-plan, to make sure he survives and the treasurer dies.

When the time came, the king summoned both of them. They drank the poisons as planned, and the treasurer died, the pharmacist survived, and the king didn’t get what he wanted.

What exactly happened there?

King Achashveirosh water, he didn’t get a strong poison like he wanted. only water, so nothing happened to him. And because both of them brought his own water, and died of the poison he drank before. The pharmacist drank So the treasurer who drank poison earlier drank the pharmacist’s water, then When the pharmacist fi gured out this plan, he decided to bring water as well. would drink the water and then his poison would surely die. would bring water, which will have no e ect on him, but the pharmacist who poison, which would neutralize the weak poison. As his own poison, he with King Achashveirosh, and then he would drink the pharmacist’s strong The treasurer’s plan was to drink a weak poison prior to the meeting Answer:

CANDY, CANDY, CANDY TRIVIA

1. How long are standard size

Twizzlers? a. 5 inches b. 6 inches c. 8 ¼ inches d. 12 inches

2. Who invented cotton candy? a. A carnival clown b. A candy store owner c. An ice cream shop owner d. A dentist

3. What is the most popular candy in the U.S.? a. Hershey

Kisses b. Mike & Ikes c. M&Ms d. Twizzlers

4. How many quarts of popcorn are eaten annually in the U.S.? a. 500 million b. 2 billion c. 4 billion d. 16 billion

5. Ruth Wakefi eld, of Massachusetts, created the chocolate chip cookie in 1930. When her invention instantly gained popularity, she reached an agreement with Nestle

Chocolate for her recipe to be written on its packaging. What did she get in return? a. She was given a lifelong supply of Nestle Chocolate b. She was paid 10% of the increase in net revenue that Nestle made after putting her recipes on its packaging c. She was paid $5,000 d. She was paid $250,000

6. Place the following drinks in the correct order, according to their popularity in the U.S.: a. Sprite b. Diet Coke c. Pepsi d. Coca Cola e. Dr. Pepper f. Mountain Dew

7. Potato chips were invented in

Saratoga Springs in 1853 by chef

George Crum. Why did he create this crunchy treat? a. He realized that packaged snacks were becoming popular, so he invented them b. He worked at an old age home, and he realized that they were a good alternative to cookies c. A frustrated customer thought his French fries were too thick and repeatedly requested that they be made thinner d. There was an excessive amount of potatoes in his storage room, and he needed to fi gure out what to do with them

Answers: 1. C- Standard size is 8 ¼ inches (Now they have all of these di erent sizes, “but ven I vas a kid ve only had von size. Ve were not spoiled like de kids today!”) 2. D- William James Morrison, from Nashville, Tennessee, was an avid inventor. He created the first cotton candy machine (which he called “Fairy Floss”) and introduced it at the 1904 World Fair in St. Louis. 3. C- 340 million M&Ms are produced every day. 4. D 5. A- In 1930, Ruth Wakefield was mixing a batch of cookies for her roadside inn guests when she discovered that she was out of baker’s chocolate. She substituted broken pieces of Nestle’s semi-sweet chocolate, expecting it to absorb into the dough to create chocolate cookies. When she removed the pan from the oven, Wakefield realized that the chocolate did not spread to the rest of the cookie but stayed in chunks. Guests at the inn quickly gobbled up her “chocolate chip cookies.” 6. D, Coke; B, Diet Coke; C, Pepsi; F, Mountain Dew; E, Dr. Pepper; A, Sprite 7. C- In 1853, Crum was a chef at the Moon Lake Lodge resort in Saratoga Springs, NY. French fries were popular at the restaurant, and one day a diner complained that the fries were too thick. Although Crum made a thinner batch, the customer was still unsatisfied. Crum finally made fries that were too thin to eat with a fork, hoping to annoy the extremely fussy customer. The customer, surprisingly enough, was happy – and potato chips were invented!

Wisdom Key: 5-7 correct: Congratulations! You have earned 8 cavities! (Yeah, I know, you probably had them already.) correct: You are on a Tootsie roll—you’re good but not great. 0-2 correct: Don’t worry—cucumbers are also fun.