Your Money 62

Your Money Food Court

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

Writing a weekly tax column probably looks like effortless fun. But it’s not always easy mining comedy gold from the Internal Revenue Code. Believe it or not, sometimes, taxes just aren’t funny. When you see us trying to jam a tax angle into something like, say, National Feta Cheese Day, you’ll know it was a slow week in Taxland and we had to scrounge through our “Weird Holidays” calendar to find something to cover.

Sometimes, though, the tax gods offer up a story that practically writes itself — like this week’s tale from the always-popular “Rich People Behaving Badly” genre.

At first glance, John McAfee looks like your basic Silicon Valley entrepreneur. His McAfee anti-virus software, the first commercial anti-virus program, earned him a $100 million fortune. But he got bored and left the company in 1994, and the Great Recession wiped out nearly all of his riches. He’s spent the last 20 years carpet-bombing the market with a series of cryptocurrency- and cybersecurity-themed ventures. Like many of his fellow tech bros, he identifies politically as a libertarian, and he ran for the Libertarian party’s 2016 and 2020 presidential nominations.

As brilliant as McAfee may be in business, though, when it comes to the rest of his life, he is, for want of a more decorous term, bonkers. He lived for several years with a group on an island compound off the coast of Belize, which he was forced to flee after his neighbor was found shot, execution-style. (Nothing good ever happens in a “compound.”) He’s racked up an enviable collection of arrests for immigration, drug, and gun charges in Belize, Guatemala, the Dominican Republic, and Tennessee. Clearly, he’s a man who chafes at being told what to do.

Something else McAfee doesn’t like to do is paying his taxes. Last year, he bragged on Twitter: “I have not paid taxes for eight years. I have not filed returns. Every year I tell the IRS, ‘I am not filing a return. I have no intention of doing so – come and find me.’” Well, as your mom told you, be careful what you ask for. In June, the IRS indicted him for hiding millions in income from promoting cybercurrency, consulting, speaking, and selling his life story for a documentary. And just last week, they arrested him in Spain, where he’s now behind bars

“The prison yard is full of murderers but mostly nice people”

awaiting extradition.

Spanish prison seems surprisingly chill for a guy who once could have wallpapered his house with money. As he told his followers: “I am having a fascinating time. Spanish prison is not that bad. We can wear whatever clothes we want. We can smoke and socialize. It’s like the Hilton without turn-down service. My cellmate is an ambassador’s drug dealer. I wish I would have known him before. The prison yard is full of murderers but mostly nice people. I spend most of my time with my back to the wall.”

Now McAfee says money is a curse. He’s facing 30 years in a place with no ocean breezes and no friends. What’s more, the SEC is suing him for failing to disclose that he was paid millions to hawk cybercurrencies on Twitter. He’s had a good run — but at age 75, it looks like he’ll spend the rest of his life fighting the law.

We know you don’t like paying taxes either. But you don’t have to risk life on the lam to avoid them. So we’ve programmed our computers with a sophisticated algorithm of court-tested, IRS-approved strategies for paying less legally. We’re sure you’ll appreciate enjoying them from the comfort of your own home. So call us now while there’s still time to save for 2020!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

Life C ach

It’s Your Choice!

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC

So, there we are waiting and waiting – what will it be?

The husband’s pacing. The wife is too anxious to move around.

What will it be like going home with it?

How will it change our lives?

Will she be up around and cooking meals? Or will he be busy running the house?

Will she stay busy in her room nursing the new addition to our lives or will she be up and about?

Yes, waiting for the results of Mom’s corona test can really add crazy tension to our lives.

If Mom tests negative, then the household returns to normal. But if she tests positive, suddenly the whole house is topsy-turvy. is that kid one of ours?” last time the kid from next door was here doing homework.

Maybe I’m being a little hard on Dad here. But, it’s really just part of making a point: that the same way bringing home a new addition can keep Mom occupied in her room and corona-positive diagnosis can do the same. And you don’t even get a new sibling with the latter!

But is there something we can get out of it?

Well let’s think: -Maybe, a greater appreciation for Mom, even before Mother’s Day arrives! -Perhaps we gain a realization that Moms are carrying a lot of the weight

Just thought it would be good to let this information go viral – before Mom does!

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.

I think I heard him mumbling, “Wait, is that kid one of ours?” last time the kid from next door was here doing homework.

Dad could suddenly be forced to learn where the kitchen is! Or, do I mean where “anything” is in the kitchen? Sure, he’s been to that room a lot before, but does he really know where we keep most of the stuff in it?! also throw things off a lot, so too a

Does he actually recognize that most of those cabinets open and are not merely facades?

Does Dad know how to get everyone on Zoom? Does he even know who everyone is in the family? Like, I think I heard him mumbling, “Wait, of running the household. -How about a familiarity with where things are kept around the house, so everyone can be a little more helpful?

Sure, moms are awesome. And great at multitasking. But how about all of us trying to make their job a little easier, wherever and whenever we can?!

After all, let me let you in on a little secret, an often-ignored reality… moms are really only human!