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JANUARY 27, 2022 | The Jewish Home The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015
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Life C ach
Here’s a Tip By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS
W
hat does the word tip really stand for these days? It used to stand for “to insure promptness.” It was probably given before the fact because it certainly couldn’t insure promptness after you already got your service! At one point, it was given after the job got done. Well, there went that meaning! So it came to be an opportunity to decide if you wanted to add an extra gesture of appreciation to your waiter or waitress or service provider for services rendered. It hopefully incentivized the service provider to do a better job so that you and they both benefited. They got more money, and you got more service. Not a horrible idea. Although it did come to be expected. So is it really your choice?! And truthfully, you gave it after they rendered the service, so how smart was that? Could you actually be encouraging good service if they didn’t get paid till after? That was kind of backward! But still, they did seem to try, I guess hoping you’d tip more generously or not withhold it, as some did! And at least it was voluntary on your part. If the person did a really bad job you could not give it, if you so desired. There was even a benefit to tipping after the meal. They couldn’t put any unidentified objects in your food if they didn’t like the tip. The truth is, the effect of tipping
might not have always been about the one-time relationship. It was a cumulative concert. If someone got a bad tip often enough, hopefully they’d figure out that they had to up their game. But tipping isn’t that way anymore! Now it’s more like, Tip: Tricking Innocent Payers! It certainly is not a way anymore for you to affect the service you get because it’s included! Wait, but that’s not even the TRICKING part. A lot of the time the
in a mere employee on any information? You’re no longer in a position to affect your outcome. You’re not giving the server something extra in their hand or on the table. It’s all going on your bill, which goes straight to the establishment. The whole thing seems kind of lopsided. I think we should come up with some new ideas of how to handle the tip. Tip: Tell If Pre-charged. If one is committed to precharging a tip, at least tell the cus-
It’s not a predetermined menu, so why is it a predetermined tip?!
restaurant doesn’t even tell you that the tip’s been included and then they go and add an additional line on your bill for the tip. So you think, “Oh, I guess, it’s not included…” With that you are getting insult added to injury. You’re overpaying, and the worker might not even be getting it. Because if the establishment doesn’t bother telling you that you paid a tip already, and they actually want you to patronize their establishment, why would they bother cluing
tomer. It’s the decent thing to do. He’s relinquished his evening to you. He’s not standing over you while you’re prepping. He’s not standing over you while you’re cooking. So why does he need to stand over you while you’re billing?! Let him know he has no influence over his experience right from the start. He gets what he gets, and he shouldn’t get upset! Tip: Take It Please. Allow your patron to decide. If the customer wants to hand the money
directly, let him. Maybe, even provide a redit card machine for the help staff to use. Let it be at the customer’s own price point with his own control. Give your customer back his independence. It’s not a predetermined menu, so why is it a predetermined tip?! Or, go wild with this one…. Tip: Thanks, It’s Pleasant. Allow your customer to Keep their extra money. Customers instead use their words to show appreciation. And you know what, customers? Be a sport! Spread it all around, compliment, compliment, compliment. Be so generous that there’s plenty to even get back to the establishment. OK and you can still TIP extra – Throw In Pay for the staff to know they did a good job. The idea is for us to get back to where a tip is about the service and not just another add-on burden. So TIP can mean Ten Is Perfect – let’s see if we can encourage people to be their best and do their best. And then hopefully the customer will give their best TIP.
Rivki Rosenwald is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist working with both couples and individuals and is a certified relationship counselor. Rivki is a co-founder and creator of an effective Parent Management of Adolescent Years Program. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or at rivkirosenwald@gmail.com.
