Let’s Talk by Rafi Sackville

Israel Today Let’s Talk

By Rafi Sackville

Looking at my schedule at the start of the school year I noticed a curiosity; a Wednesday lesson titled, “Bo’u Nedaber, Come, Let’s Talk.” The idea is simple; place a teacher in a room with a handful of students and talk to them, not necessarily about their studies, but rather about life and how they cope with its challenges both at home and at school. Rather oxymoronic, don’t you think? After all, isn’t talking to students what teacher are supposed to do? Turns out that “Come, Let’s Talk” isn’t so simple.

There are more than a handful of teachers who feel like fish out of water when doing anything other than plying the wares of their trade. One might be able to run history or math lessons, but managing a conversation not with one, but up to ten kids at once, can be a tall order. For some teachers, it is a nightmare. Touching bases with several of them was revealing.

Esther told me of the difficulty she has when weekly, three of the students in her group refuse to participate. They sit in the corners of the classroom and play with their phones. The only talking they will do is complain about “this stupid lesson” and “why do we need it, anyway?” At the best of times, Esther is quiet. She becomes anxious when the Wednesday lesson comes around. “It’s not my wheelhouse,” she explains.

Batsheva teaches a language elective, which doesn’t involve kids with behavioral issues. She told me that some of the students on her roster are anything less than compliant. She finds herself at what she calls a “roadblock” after the first few minutes of the lesson. She might tell a story, or raise a topic, only to find interest quickly falling.

I’ve found the experience illuminating. For one, it is apparent to me that after the last year and a half of Covid, many students are desperate for an outlet; an ear that doesn’t come from home; someone who will listen. The need to connect outside their “bubble” is palpable.

One of the major issues we have witnessed is a growing trend in increasing violence, both verbal and physical. Surprisingly, many of the instances of aggression do not warrant police involvement, but more than a few times parents take matters into their own hands. The consequences only worsen the situation. Parents will call the police over minor scuffles or leave posts on Facebook and other social platforms which more often than not lead to situations becoming blown out of proportion.

For example, during a verbal altercation between two students, one received a punch on the nose. He was understandably upset. Thankfully, the teacher in the room interceded quickly enough to prevent further escalation between the two students. Furthermore, the school immediately intervened and put an end to the problem.

Matters would have rested there had the mother of one of the students not posted a vitriolic Facebook entry that directly led to the police being called. When they arrived, the police assessed the situation and praised the school’s response.

It was too late, however, for the mother’s post had gained traction, and before one could blink, the item had found its way to the mainstream media. I’ve seen such parents in action at school board meetings. I’ve listened to their unbridled indignation, their screaming, and their uncanny knack of failing to realize that their very behavior is the type that leads their children to act the way they do. When it was pointed out to one mother that her son had been punished for the very things she thought the school was failing to enforce, she dismissed it with a banshee yell and a string of verbal venom.

It is therefore of great importance for teachers to become an independent conduit that can channel student frustration into a positive space. The adults in the room might not save the world, but any dent they make is better than no dent at all.

My students and I discuss all types of topics: the things they hate, they love, they wish they could change, their hopes and desires, their failures, their shortcomings. There are topics I feel obliged to raise, like respect for elders, how to fill the unforgiving minutes in our lives, how to approach their studies.

Underlying these lessons is a palpable shift in students’ attitudes towards the world. The lost year of Covid finds them more addicted to the internet and more influenced by its extremities. They are more willing to challenge us on matters based on fake news. Such arguments are manageable for the most part because they tend to be political in nature, and the easiest way to circumvent such arguments is to not raise the topic of politics in class.

Social media is another matter. The big media platforms continue to present a world which promotes ideal that don’t exist in the real world; TikTok, Instagram and Facebook’s trending pages tend to be viewed by teenagers as an ideal they should strive towards. They watch videos that show the world as imaginatively happier place than theirs.

The virtual reality some of my students live through is, in fact, the actual reality of their lives. That’s a good enough reason to try to tear them away from their phones once a week and discuss matters that are close to their hearts.

In a recent lesson, the topic of respecting the elderly was raised. Each student sitting in the circle was able to define what such respect constitutes. However, I’d seen more than one of those students speak with unguarded disrespect to teachers. I mentioned this without pointing to anyone in particular. The young man in question looked me straight in the eyes, a wry smile breaking out along his curling lips.

For many people, both young and old, a gap will always remain between the theory and practice of how to deal with the world around us. Here at Ort Ma’alot high school, it is our hope that Come, Let’s Talk just might manage to close the many gaps just a bit.