Centerfold

1.

TJH Centerfold

KUHL ARPRT ACRNMS

Each of the following is a real airport acronym, except one. Can you spot the fake acronym?

BAH: Bahrain International, Bahrain (Named for the local sheep, I guess) BOM: Bombay, (Mumbai), India (I feel “real secure” fl ying from there) BOO: Bodø, Norway (Low self-esteem) BRR: North Bay, United Kingdom (Yep, it’s cold there) BUG: Gen V Deslandes, Angola (I’ll fl y to OFF instead) BUM: Butler, MO, USA (See what happens when you don’t have good teachers?) CIA: Ciampino, Italy (Still looking for Mussolini, I guess.) DOA: Doany, Madagascar (Uh, I’d much rather arrive alive, but thanks for the o er!)

DUM: Dumai, Indonesia (Sounds pretty accurate) EAT: Wenatchee, WA, USA (You mean like big heart attack-inducing sandwiches, right?) EEK: Eek, AK, United States (Guess they never heard of the mouse rabbi)

FAQ: Freida River, Papua New Guinea (I wonder what the most commonly asked question is there) FOO: Numfoor, Indonesia (Must have been a rough landing) FUB: Fulleborn, Papua New Guinea (That must not be the true acronym) FUN: Funafuti, Tuvalu (What do they have – Pacman arcades or something?) GAG: Gage, United States (Can’t smell as bad as LaGuardia)

GOO: Nevada County Airpark, Grass Valley, CA (I begged my kids not to bring their slime)

GRR: Grand Rapids, Michigan (It is cold there, yah) HIP: Headingly, Piturie Australia (Just got back from a skateboarding tour in Australia) HOT: Hot Springs, Arkansas (Hmm…that’s a pretty good connection…for Arkansas!)

IOU: Ile Ouen, New Caledonia (No worries, just Zelle me!)

LOL: Derby Field airport, Nevada (You won’t be laughing when the house takes all your money) OMG: Omega Airport, Namibia (Like, seriously) POO: Pocos De Caldas, Brazil (Lots of stomach problems, I guess) UMM: Summit, AK (Can’t exactly put into words what I feel about this)

ONTIME: Nowhere, World

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

A passenger is talking to an airline agent at JFK’s Terminal 4.

“I’m going to Miami for vacation,” he says. “I want to send the big suitcase in my right hand to Orlando and the smaller suitcase to Tallahassee.”

The airline agent replies, “I’m afraid that’s not possible. We can’t send your luggage to two separate places.” two separate places.” The passenger responds, “Great then, because that’s what you did on my last fl ight!”

Airport Trivia

Hey you! Put your mask on while answering these questions! If I see it below your nose, you will be If I see it below your nose, you will be banned from answering trivia questions ever again!

1. The busiest airport in the world is Guangzhou Baiyun

International Airport in China, with more than 43 million passengers passing through each year. What is the busiest airport in the U.S, with almost 43 million passengers passing through each year? a. Atlanta International Airport b. JFK Airport c. San Francisco International

Airport d. O’Hare International Airport

2. Before being renamed John F.

Kennedy Airport, what was the airport up the road called? a. New York Airport b. Idlewild Airport c. Van Wyck Airport d. Peninsula Airport

3. Which airport sells more chocolate than anywhere else in the world, with approximately 2 tons of chocolate sold every day? a. Brussels Airport b. Amsterdam Airport c. Switzerland Airport d. Rome Airport 4. Which airport is 192,000 acres, making it larger than the entire country of Bahrain? a. King Fahd International

Airport in Dammam, Saudi

Arabia b. JFK Airport c. Dubai International Airport d. Teterboro Airport

5. True or False: In JFK’s Terminal 5, there is a coat check area, where, for $2 a day, you can store your coat while you are hitting up Fuego, Tasty, and Harbor Grill in Miami Beach. a. True b. False

6. What did Houston Airport do that fi xed the problem of travelers being unhappy with the long time it took to get their luggage? a. They hired more luggage handlers b. They added luggage carousels c. They changed their logistics system so that luggage gets to the correct carousels faster d. They moved the Baggage

Claim area further away from the terminals so that travelers spend more time walking to get their luggage and less time standing by the carousel wondering why their luggage is not coming out yet

7. According to Sita, an international IT provider to the industry that monitors global baggage handling, how many pieces of luggage are lost from airports around the world every year? a. 100,000 b. 1,000,000 c. 4,500,000 d. 24,800,000

8. What does Ben Gurion Airport do with the helium balloons that are left behind on the tall ceiling of its arrival hall? a. There is an Israeli Hi-Tech start-up that uses the helium to make water. They are currently testing the system in Kenya b. They remove them once a week and bring them to hospitals around the country c. They shoot them down with a

BB gun every night d. They keep them there for design purposes; they are up to 400,000 balloons

Answer Key: 1-A 2-B 3-A 4-C 5-A 6-D 7-D 8-B Wisdom Key 7-8 correct: So how long have you been a TSA agent for? Do you ever steal any of those crates to store stu under your bed? 3-6 correct: Not bad – you know a little bit about airports. Your brain is active; it’s not “idlewild.” 0-2 correct: Try the trivia again without your mask on; the increased oxygen should give you more brainpower.