3 minute read
But I’m Still a Little Boy by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS
Life C ach
But I’m Still a Little Boy
By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS
Alittle girl was in the supermarket. So was I! In a shopping cart. Her – not me!
But I did have a little grandson in my shopping cart. Three years old.
The little girl yelled out, “Hey, look at that little boy. He’s not wearing a mask.” (No adults were actually wearing them at this point, but she was). Nevertheless, without skipping a beat, or looking up, he just responded by saying, “I’m just a little boy; I don’t need one.” She was actually three years old herself.
It reminded me of the other night when he and a 5-year-old granddaughter slept over at my house. She had exclaimed to him as he deposited his pacifier in his mouth, “You’re still using a paci?!” To which he immediately replied, “I’m just a little boy. I still can.”
He was kind of right. He is really, still, just a little boy.
Yet, hearing this line again started me thinking. Maybe this is the root of many of the relationship issues between men and women.
She expects more from him. And he thinks, But, I’m just a little boy.
He feels proud if he chips in with chores at all.
She feels: If I’m doing it, why aren’t you?!
He feels that he is a little lost in the kitchen.
She feels it’s second nature to her to putter around there. He’s eaten for years; why isn’t it second nature for him?!
He feels diapers are to be ordered in bulk from Amazon then ignored till reordering is necessary.
She thinks: Am I the only one with olfactory glands?!
In this generation, though, the tolerance for the masculine sentiment of innocence when it comes to being a part of the home or the child care seemed to have gone out the window when the new line came in, declaring, “We are pregnant.”
If WE are pregnant, then, we are changing the diapers, we are making the dinners, and we are cleaning up the house!
Yet, some men think they can tuck their chins under naively and kind of stay with the I’m-just-a-little-boy phenomenon when it comes to these arenas. And therein starts the discord.
She wants a man not just in the workforce but right alongside in all tasks.
Did you ever observe little boy-girl twins interact? Take a look next time if you haven’t. She’s running the show and raising him. And he’s going right
along, glad to have the guidance.
So, it seems somehow girls mature and nurture early. And they keep going from there. Yet, at some point, they want the full partnership. Someone to do it all with them
That’s not to say she’s only looking for a work partner to get things done! She also needs emotional support as well. A recognition through understanding, appreciation, and accolades of all she takes on and carries, even if the doing comes more naturally to her.
And then what he needs from her is that, as he makes his attempts in return, he needs to experience tolerance, and patience, and compliments because it doesn’t necessarily come naturally to him!
If both people play it right and figure out who they need to be then the man – who had some traces of just “being a little boy” when he got into the relationship –will grow up pretty quickly, and the woman – who had some concerns, as things unfolded, that she might be navigating a lot alone – will see her mate start to be a lot more advanced as they join forces and move forward more connected together.
Every little person should get to enjoy being a little person. There are lots of years ahead to grow up. And lots of demands as they do so, either from themselves or the world around them.
But, once you take on a partner, one must remember that in order to make it good, each has to understand what age and stage they are expected to be at to make things work.
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.
