JWOW

jewish women of wisdom

Parachutes Made of Whole Cloth

By Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz

It really disturbed me. She did it once, a second time and then again. And it continued to bother me for a very long time. She is a good friend, very smart, and a veteran social services professional like I was, although in a different role. And she kept using the word “parachute” when I was leaving a very senior position in a large social services agency.

Parachute was a trendy word then, not just because of the Richard Bolles’ book, What Color is Your Parachute. During the nineties, large corporations were giving their highly paid executives golden parachutes, fat severance packages, when the companies were taken over and their executives axed.

Knowing that I was unhappy where I was and had hit a glass ceiling, my friend Zahava kept predicting and advising that I take my skills, knowledge, and experience and parachute into this role or that related career. It was very irritating to me that after sharing my deep ambivalence about some opportunities and considered directions, she kept using that word parachute again and again. It implied ease and a soft landing, being blown by the breezes into the exact spot where you wanted to land.

I wasn’t having it. It rankled deeply. A transition into another career and work isn’t so easily accomplished, I knew. Why was she making it sound so simple and painless, with her signature lively style and well-chosen vocabulary du jour?

She knew I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to do. I was older, and I knew better. I had a family to worry about. She was single and could use trendy terms and make it seem facile to just move into another field and position. I had degrees, and she had none. But I didn’t argue with her. You choose your battles with people, and I wasn’t choosing this one.

Fast forward many years later, and the tables were turned on me. After a lecture in an out-of-town community, there was a smaller session with the wives of the klei kodesh. Just about the first question that came up, voiced by the most senior member of the group, addressed the same topic. Can you reinvent yourself?

Picture the scene. A tired Faigie Horowitz does not immediately answer the question. Other questions are thrown at her. Women share feelings about being role models in their community. Women talk about their

The difference between parachuting then and that summer Q & A session was not just in yours truly. The difference was in the timeframe. Zahava was right, but I was righter! You can transition into a whole other field of endeavor. You can find something you can do well that gives you enjoyment and a whole new direction. But it takes time and doesn’t happen quickly like an airborne landing. Parachute is the wrong word, and besides, it’s

The journey can be exciting and fun if one takes along a sense of adventure and the intent to gather souvenirs and savor experiences.

lives compared with the lives of their peers back east. Women confide. And Faigie Horowitz reacts, comments, and answers, many times with personal anecdotes and feelings. She tells of her own transformation from nonprofit professional and activist to public speaker, writer, and community rebbetzin. She turns to the original questioner and finally answers the question. Yes, one can reinvent herself. passé. The word transition or pivot is more au courant. And it implies a process.

Free of responsibilities to children, tired of their present occupations, and conscious of their limited work life and possible pending caretaking of parents, many middle age women seek to reinvent themselves. That’s not a crisis, even if it is a midlife turning point. It’s a time to focus inwards and outwards both. Many women think, “I want something different but I don’t know what I want.” Who am I and what is really important to me? are part of that conversation with oneself.

There are no instant answers to these questions. There is time, however, to play and experiment with new ventures. One doesn’t have to figure it out all at once. The journey can be exciting and fun if one takes along a sense of adventure and the intent to gather souvenirs and savor experiences. If you just want to plot a course from here to there and get to a particular destination, use your GPS.

Real life isn’t like a course on navigation app. You discover talents, qualities, and interests as you go. And G-d may send you on some interesting detours which will yield some honed skills. You may be forced to plot your course again surrounded by the rocky shoals of financial, emotional, and familial peril.

Opportunities present themselves. Some opportunities may need to be helped along. If you maintain a growth mindset, your trajectory expands, and you find new sources of creativity, interest, and opportunity. The invention you land up with may be far more original and sturdier than the contraption you had in mind earlier.

Self-invention may yield a new you, built to last and fit for fun. When you’re a grown-up with a rich resume, the satisfaction you have from the new work is mighty important, whether or not that’s what you planned. That’s my take on being a political advocate and digital marketing strategist in my current professional life. It’s a weird confluence of things that got me here but hey, I am having fun. Who would have thunk I’d invented this work life?

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