What’s the Plane Truth? by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

Life C ach What’s the Plane Truth?

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS

Igot on the plane. My flight wasn’t cancelled. Woohoo! Miraculous!

We used to worry about delays or bad weather holding up a trip. But now, we must worry about the pilot needing to blow his nose! If he needs a tissue, you are probably staying home. He’s got to stay away, and your trip is over.

I called the airline for my pilot’s name and his mother’s name. I figured that if I want to get off the ground, I better have him in my prayers.

It’s just not about packing up or getting to the airport on time anymore, it’s all about if the pilot was able to get out of bed that morning.

When I saw that my pilot was actually there, I was ready to hug someone. But, at the airport, the most it is actually safe to do to show appreciation is to wink or blink at someone. If you attempt to remove your mask in order to smile or get close enough to hug anyone, they’ll pounce on you faster even than they will on the criminal who is trying to smuggle through a bottle of water.

Planes are reputed to have the finest air filtering system. Yet no one cares! Unless you are feasting from liftoff to landing, your mask better be glued right on to your face. Practically your only choice to achieve freedoms is to eat continuously.

I gained 15 pounds on my last flight. And it was only two hours.

I don’t know about you, but I get

a terrible reaction to my mask. It makes my chin itch So, it’s snack or scratch. And I just can’t tolerate the itching. So I eat and eat.

My luck – most gyms don’t even exist anymore to work off the excess weight.

Remember when you used to have to use the bathroom on the airplane? Was there anywhere more claustrophobic? You’d want to get in and get out before you suffocated. Nowadays, there’s a run on this miniature space. It’s the one place you get to hang out, unmask, and not feel suffocated.

Stewards and stewardesses used to make you feel catered to or at least cared for on an airplane. Now, they are more like wardens or mask

monitors. Don’t get me wrong. They still come running over quite often. But they are usually just checking out your level of mask compliance.

Things have gone so haywire, I now look forward to that dreaded air turbulence, just hoping it will jostle my mask off my face. I like to think of this as “No Fault Uncoverage”!

Do I sound obsessed with the mask mandate on the plane? Well, I’m actually not – they are!

Sure. I get it. We want to be safe and healthy. I’m all for safety and health. I just wish we knew more.

When they finished the safety talk, I’m thinking: did they even say whether you can you take off your mask when the oxygen drops down, G-d forbid? Then I’m thinking maybe they can siphon a smoothie through our masks and make the trip more enjoyable. I think breathing in my carbon dioxide is making me think desperate thoughts!

Bottom line: it would be great if they could unmask more accurate information so we could all breathe a little easier. And that’s the plane truth.

I gained 15 pounds on my last flight. And it was only two hours.

Rivki Rosenwald is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist working with both couples and individuals and is a

certified relationship counselor. Rivki is a co-founder and creator of an effec-

tive Parent Management of Adolescent

Years Program. She can be contacted at

917-705-2004 or at rivkirosenwald@

gmail.com.