Bringing Torah to the Hamptons

The Jewish Home | AUGUST 18, 2022 A Town of Hedges

By Malkie Schulman

“My job in this world is to help bring back each and every Jew. Until that’s done, my job is not done,” says Rabbi Leibel Baumgarten, Chabad shaliach of East Hampton, Long Island.

“The Rebbe taught us that every single Jew in this world has to be accounted for, and we are responsible to do everything in our power to make sure that happens. The whole idea of shlichus,” Rabbi Baumgarten continues, “is that shlichim have to be ready 24/7 for any Jew in need.

“For example, just today, an Israeli couple walking down street recognized the menorah atop our Chabad house and came inside. We schmoozed a bit, and I asked the man if he’d like to put on tefillin. Right there, I chapped a mitzvah with this guy. It was worth it to have Chabad house just to help this fellow do the mitzvah of tefillin!”

Most of us are familiar with the concept of shlichus, the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s vision of bringing Judaism to every Jew wherever they may be physically around the world – in China or New York – or spiritually, being somewhat familiar or knowing nothing about their heritage.

But, what is it like to be a Chabad shaliach to the rich and famous? To Hollywood stars, famous clothing designers, billionaire industry magnates or just plain insanely wealthy individuals? Is it any different than anywhere else? Rabbi Leibel Baumgarten and his rebbitzen, Goldie, live in East Hampton, summer home to a large population of extremely wealthy and often well-known individuals.

“What you have to understand,” explains Rebbitzen Baumgarten, “is that people are here on vacation, for a break. They don’t want to have to live up to their ‘social status’ obligations. They don’t dress up the same. They want their space. We have to respect that.”

Rabbi Baumgarten refers to East Hampton as a “town of hedges.”

“All the estates are hidden behind huge hedges; you can’t see anything from the street. Privacy is important to these people. Nevertheless,” says Rabbi Baumgarten, “our job is ‘ufaratzta’ – to spread Yiddishkeit.”

And the truth is, even in this town of tall hedges, there beats, however faintly, a Jewish heart.

How It All StArted

It began simply enough, shares Rabbi Baumgarten. “We were living and doing shlichus in Coram, Long Island, a typical middle-class neighborhood. We had established a Chabad house there and also a small Jewish school. One summer, one of the East Hampton residents, Ron Perelman, former owner of Revlon, reached out to me. He wanted to establish a minyan every Shabbat in East Hampton.

“From then on, every single Shabbos during the summer months (from Memorial Day to Labor Day) for four years I would carry my doggie bag with my wife’s delicious challah, kugel and fish and travel to my host’s house. Every Shabbos, our minyan took place at a different wealthy person’s home. A waiter would serve me my kosher food on a paper plate while the rest of the family would be served their ten-course non-kosher meal on the finest china.”

Yet despite the religious observance gap, Rabbi Baumgarten stresses that everybody always acted respectfully around him. Nobody ever turned on the TV or lights or went swimming when he was around. Of course, what they did when he went to sleep was a different story.

After four years of roaming, the minyan finally found its place at the beautiful, oceanfront home of Norman and Helene Stark, a shomer Shabbos couple that wanted to have the minyan within walking distance. The Starks’ generosity in offering their home over the next 13 years enabled the minyan to continue to expand its membership. The number of people who began to keep Shabbos grew as well. Ron Perelman was one of those individuals who eventually became shomer Shabbos.

Then, after almost two decades of leaving his family every Shabbos in the summer, the minyan finally brought the Baumgarten family out to East Hampton to live full-time. They bought them a large, 2½ acre property, on which one part is their home and the other part is the Chabad house.

“Before we agreed to move here, though,” says Rabbi Baumgarten, “I explained to them that we couldn’t come unless there was a mikvah.”

The mikvah was built, and it’s actually the only mikvah in the entire Hamptons. Women come from all over to use it. Rebbetzin Baumgarten teaches the laws of taharas hamishpacha (family purity) to mar-

rougHIng It In eASt HAMpton

While there are many inspirational and rewarding moments in their lives, living in East Hampton is not always easy. Starting with physical conveniences – contrary to what you may think, despite the fact that the very rich live here, “There is actually nothing convenient about living in East Hampton,” says Rebbetzin Baumgarten. “There’s no normal garbage pickup, the streets are not properly lit at night, there are certain areas where the mail is not delivered, and the nearest hospital is 20 minutes away without traffic. For years, there were not many very good doctors’ offices here either. Also, we have poor phone service because nobody wants a cell phone tower near their house.”

Another challenge in East Hampton and other G-d-forsaken areas of the world in which shluchim usually live is the challenge of raising children according to Torah values.

“When the children were young, we sent them to the Chabad school run by shluchim in Coram or Lake Grove,” shares Rebbetzin Baumgarten. Even when they moved to East Hampton, they would make the one-hour-and-ten-minute drive each day back and forth to the school there. Once the children got older, anywhere from 6th to 8th grade, depending on the individual needs of the child, they were then sent to yeshiva in Crown Heights. During the week, they lived with their grandparents, only coming home for Shabbos.

Regarding the concern about their children having non-observant friends, Rebbetzin Baumgarten notes, “Today, it’s a challenge no matter where you live and where you send your children – who knows what they’re hearing? Mainly,” she says, “it’s about davening and saying Tehillim and remembering we’re the Rebbe’s shluchim. We’re taking responsibility for Hashem’s children so He will take responsibility for our children.”

“And He has!” maintains Rabbi Baumgarten, “Our married children are all in shlichus, and all our children have an understanding of their role as children of shluchim and the part and the sacrifices we all have to make to do this holy work. Every child deals with it differently, of course, but they all have the knowledge that this is what we need to do. They are part of a team.”

The biggest challenge that is unique to a town like East Hampton is its transience. Because it’s mainly a summer destination for most of the residents, it’s less stable than other communities. Sometimes people coming for the summer have no interest in becoming a

community. They experience community where they live the rest of the year. They’re involved timewise and financially in the organizations and temples or synagogues where they live and they don’t have an interest in duplicating that experience here. Especially if the family is here just for one or two summers, then it’s certainly hard to strike a relationship. Nevertheless, despite this built-in instability, over the years the Baumgartens have gotten close to many of the families, especially the ones who do return year after year. Another unique aspect to the East Hampton challenge is that most, if not all, its residents “I’ve found tHAt In tHIS live a vastly differrelAxed AtMoSpHere, ent lifestyle than the Baumgartens and not people Are More open just religiously but materialistically as to MAkIng bIg CHAngeS well. For example, In tHeIr lIveS.” when residents do oc casionally have com pany, it’ll be at most two or three guests at a time, with full-time help, as opposed to Rebbetzin Baumgarten who routinely cooks for 45 guests every Shabbos in the summer, without a live-in housekeeper. “Most of the people who live here have servants to attend to their needs. Their expectations of how things should run and how fast things should be progressing are different because they have so much more paid help than we do. At one point, years ago, I was away from home,” continues Rebbetzin Baumgarten, “and one of our Chabad friends wanted the local residents to see how our children chip in and help out. We initially weren’t comfortable with that idea, but he insisted, ‘No,’ he said, ‘let them see what it’s like when you don’t have a maintenance person, a housekeeper and a butler.’ By now, though, the people have a much better understanding and don’t have the same expectations they did when we first moved in.” tHe rewArd IS CoMMenSurAte wItH tHe effort As difficult as the work can be, the rewards can be just as great. Both Rabbi and Rebbetzin Baumgarten

Rabbi and Rebbetzin Baumgarten

have spent countless hours over the years schmoozing and counseling young and old, helping them make significant life changes.

“I remember one Friday night,” reminisces Rabbi Baumgarten, “I sat up the whole night talking to a young woman who was seriously dating a non-Jew. It was the beginning of many subsequent conversations I had with her. Baruch Hashem, today, she is married to someone named Horowitz.”

The idea behind shlichus is to connect with every Jew on whatever level they will let you. No one apparently is too out of reach for the Baumgartens. Rebbetzin Baumgarten finds

taharas ha'mishpa-

cha a powerful and beautiful mitzvah that inspires many of the women she interacts with.

Enabling Jews to appreciate the warmth of Yiddishkeit gives Rebbetzin Baumgarten a sense of fulfillment.

“Some of the people who live here fulltime are older, and we’ve gotten to know them over the years. We often visit them once a week, and it’s wonderful to see the joy it brings them. Some of the old timers speak Yiddish and enjoy speaking it with us. Many of the women start lighting candles, and they love it.” A typICAl dAy In eASt HAMpton

“Most of a typical summer weekday, during the four weeks of camp, revolves around our day camp,” shares Rebbetzin Baumgarten. “It’s a family affair. Some of our married children return for the summer to help run the camp.”

Besides for taking care of all the day camp necessities, Chabad of the Hamptons is also the source for kosher food in this part of the world. People visit the area, and “they want to know how to get kosher food.

We provide them with the answers (and the food!). Maybe they need to kosher the kitchen, they want to know about the mikvah or they might need yahrtzeit candles. Sometimes they just call to find out what’s appropriate for a frum family to do in our area. I can be preparing for workshops, speakers or challah bakes, and people will stop by with their questions on anything at any time!” Year-round, Rabbi Baumgarten is a chaplain for the Suffolk County Prison, attending to all needs, both material and spiritual, of the Jewish inmates. Both Rabbi and Rebbetzin Baumgarten are involved in the operation of the Chabad preschool and Talmud “A wAIter would Serve Torah throughout the year as well as teachMe My koSHer food on ing adults multiple times a week. A pAper plAte wHIle tHe “During Covid, we reSt of tHe fAMIly started giving Zoom classes,” shares Rebwould be Served betzin Baumgarten, “and we’ve kept it up. tHeIr ten-CourSe It’s a great way to keep non-koSHer MeAl the connection going even when the women on tHe fIneSt CHInA.” go back to their yearround communities.” Whether it’s a parsha class or any other Jewish subject that the women want to learn about, it usually starts with 15 minutes of schmoozing and then 45 minutes of learning. Rabbi Baumgarten has a daily Zoom class for anyone who wishes to join. “I teach whatever the class wants to learn – Chumash, the Torah portion, philosophy, Tanya,” he says. “I’ve found that in this relaxed atmosphere, people are more open to making big changes in their lives.” One of the many special things that the Baumgartens do is visit different families every Friday. “My wife makes the best challah in the world,” Rabbi Baumgarten asserts, “and we go around from home to home to give out candles and challahs. Some people invite us in, and it’s very special. We call it ‘bikur bayit.’ Sometime, we’ll ask a family if they’d like us to come to their house just to talk about anything they might be interested in.” RICHARD LEWIN Some are eager to have the rabbi visit and some are not. But, it’s all okay, there’s never any pressure. “This is how we develop a relationship, by visiting them and getting to know them. Sometimes they look at is as a PHOTO CREDIT big honor like, ‘Wow, the rabbi is coming to visit me.’” Another beautiful aspect of living here, Rabbi Baumgarten continues, is although in the city everybody has their own lives and their temples they go to, because the Hamptons is seasonal, everybody comes to the only Orthodox synagogue in town and that’s Chabad East Hampton. “We also host rebbes of large chasidic groups that are looking for a restful place in the summer. I provide them with a minyan and, of course, they know they can trust us with kashrus.” At this point, as opposed to years ago, Chabad also

hosts frum Jews from Lakewood, Boro Park, the Five Towns, and all over, who come for vacation. On any given Shabbos in the summer, there will be a big mix of Jews in shul. Sometimes they will host a Shabbaton for their constituents and anybody else who wishes to attend and sometimes they’ll just have one or two families over for Shabbos. Of course, that’s always besides their extended family and the 8-9 yeshiva bochurim who come to help out every Shabbos. (Since some families don’t live within walking distance to the shul, the boys will walk to their homes and make a minyan there. After shul, they come back to eat at the Chabad house.)

Other changes over the years include the fact that many more people are observant. More people also come to shul. “My son and I are very busy koshering people’s homes and putting up mezuzahs,” shares Rabbi Baumgarten. “Even if they’re not yet observant, people often want a mezuzah.”

One of the big draws of the Chabad shul are the kiddushim every Shabbos. Rabbi Baumgarten even goes as far as saying, “If you want a successful minyan, you must have a professional kiddush.” That means “Hampton-style.” “We set it up with gourmet salads and delicious kugels. The décor is beautiful, and everybody loves coming.”

Indeed, lots of shidduchim have been made through the kiddushim. “I see a young man and a young woman there, and I introduce them. Some of the guys have a hard time making a commitment, but we push them a little and it works, baruch Hashem,” says Rabbi Baumgarten.

Shabbos is not the only party day in East Hampton. There’s also the Sunday Club featuring a yummy breakfast along with putting on tefillin (for the men). Not to mention the garden parties and the barbecues, another major event that have people from all over the island, including the Five Towns, coming to attend. There are challah bakes, Ladies Torah and Tea every Wednesday, Kosher Pizza Pop Up, and other interesting programs and events sprinkled throughout the summer months.

lookIng bACk…lookIng AHeAd

At the end of the day, often a very, very long day, Chabad of the Hamptons has much to be proud of. Thirty years ago, there was no shul, no mikvah, no shomer Shabbos families in East Hampton, no Yiddishkeit at all. Today, there are many shomer Shabbos families, a daily minyan in the summer (weekend minyans during the rest of the year), and many not yet fully observant families taking on more and more mitzvos.

So, while no, if Rabbi Baumgarten has set his sights on touching the life of every Jew on the planet, he and his family have not yet achieved that lofty goal, nevertheless they have certainly made great inroads in that direction.

Starting with the Hamptons.