Parenting Pearls

Parenting Pearls Keeping It Wholesome

By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

Generally, each organization works to make their program sound bigger and better than the others. With so many wonderful organizations, it only makes sense that each wants to show its uniqueness. As an interviewer was asking about each camp in a recent interview, she kept using words like “amazing,” “incredible,” and other such adjectives to describe the camp’s trips and activities. I was truly impressed when one director gently corrected her and described his program as “wholesome.” Rather than build hype, he wanted to focus on the wholesomeness of what he offered his campers.

The camp director’s comment caused me to reflect back on all the summers my boys attended that camp; he was right – the activities, trips and special events could all be described as “wholesome.” This was actually one of the things that attracted me to the camp. I appreciated that my children could enjoy a variety of activities without needing everything in the world to continuously get bigger, better, and fancier.

We are now finishing up another camp season and preparing for the upcoming school year. In between there is a vacation week that some love and others don’t. Between shopping for clothes, school supplies and knapsacks, the kids still expect a “vacation.” I will not even bother going into the debate of isn’t camp considered “vacation”?

So many parents feel pressured to make vacation “bigger” and “better.” It occurred to me how meaningful this time period could be if we enjoyed a “wholesome” vacation. Often, our family has done wholesome trips and they were often less stressful and more enjoyable than the bigger, better, and high-pressured ones.

Being brutally honest, the continual need to make everything bigger and better than before is an emotional and financial stress that families don’t need. Spending enjoyable time together as a family is what creates true memories.

Please note: I am not suggesting you cancel an already planned trip that your child is excitedly awaiting. Also, this is a discussion that is relevant to any vacation period, including chol hamoed.

Keep It Simpler

tions that require flight plans. We easily overlook the enjoyment of a family BBQ, perhaps inviting some extended family or close friends.

It’s more important what we make out of our plans and less so what those plans actually are. We all know of amazing family trips that turned into misery and simple trips that were beyond expectations.

We underestimate the influence we have on our children. The most exciting vacation is less enjoyable if parents are tense and yelling. Alternatively, when parents are having fun along with their children, the kids absorb the love. Parents will easily forget about themselves when planning an outing. You’re part of the family, too, and deserve to have your needs taken into account. Keeping trips less stressful for parents can make a better vacation for everyone.

Children thrive on fresh air and movement. Outdoor destinations are a natural fit for youngsters. Anything that involves physical activity and/or being outside will be an automatic bonus with many children – particularly those who are low on attention span.

Children enjoy learning and handson activities. We tend to assume that children are not interested in learning but that is far from the truth. When children get to interact with their environment, they are both naturally learning and having fun.

We have so many wonderful options that are local and provide a wholesome, enjoyable experience for the crew. We

live in New York, a travel destination that people all over the world dream of going to. We may not beat Eretz Yisroel but that’s an unfair expectation. I will include some ideas but it’s up to parents to check that any suggestion is age-appropriate and meets their family’s standards.

Museums: Yes, there are many that are boring and offer little appeal to children. Those tend to overshadow the more exciting ones we have. Rock Hall Museum is right here, and with advanced planning you can arrange tours. The Long Island Children’s Museum, The Nassau County Firefighters Museum and the Cradle of Aviation are all neighbors to each other in Garden City. The New York Hall of Science and The Queens County Farm Museum are not much further. These are just a selection of local museums that interest a variety of ages.

Animals: Most kids like animals and there’s so much to appreciate about Hashem’s world. The Bronx Zoo is massive and can take multiple trips to see, and the children’s section is very handson. The New York Aquarium and Cold Spring Harbor Fish Hatchery both give visitors a chance to enjoy Hashem’s aquatic creations. If you go to the hatchery, the kids may enjoy feeding the fish – the fish jump out of the water wildly when everyone throws the food in unison.

Parks and outdoor spaces: Besides Cedarhurst Park, Grant Park and Eisenhower Park, there are many areas for kids to enjoy the outdoors, get their energy out, and have a blast. Tanglewood

Preserve is in nearby Rockville Centre. The preserve is free but for a nominal fee visitors can see the rescued animals. Old Westbury Gardens is beautiful and changes seasonally. Their historical house may interest visitors, too.

Activities: I cannot advise axe throwing for young children but bowling and rock climbing are fun and physical activities. Roller skating and ice skating are also among the many options to keep youngsters busy and active. Game night at home and roasting s’mores can be a mini adventure for kids. Even grocery shopping can be an exciting outing when done with a bounce in your step.

As parents, we know that trips are often great for the children but brutal for the adults. Maybe we’d all benefit if we tried to keep the stress a little lower. Staying closer to home is one way as is

Spending enjoyable time together as a family is what creates true memories.

keeping whatever we can more basic. Meals can be simplified, and we can try to avoid the pressure to pack too many activities into one day.

Financial Facts

The tree in my backyard grows crab apples, not cash. Finances are finite, and there are already many expenses for frum families. There are so many reasons to enjoy wholesome trips – even without financial limitations – that I hesitated to bring this issue up. I am including a brief mention anyway.

Sadly, there are often expectations that we spend beyond our means. Even when we stay within our budget, the expectations can be raised for other families that may have less. So many families are struggling under the burden of ordinary expenses. We have the opportunity to give our families a wonderful vacation period – all within reasonable budgets.

Teaching our children to appreciate the wholesome world Hashem gave us and avoiding the tendency to go bigger and better are both worthwhile middos to inculcate in our youth. Let’s have a wonderful time with our children and make the most of this brief vacation.

Please daven for a refuah sheleima

for my father, Avraham ben Bina.

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.