TORAH

Simcha and

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

By: Benson Fox

Joy. We all yearn for it and value it highly, but it remains elusive except for a select few. How can we attain it in our lives?

Joy is Our Default State

One critical piece to this conversation is that Simcha is not something that needs to be achieved but is the default state of the soul. R’ Shimshon Pinkus talks about this in the context of how angels are singing all day in heaven to Hashem, not to snap themselves out of depression, but as an expression of their unending, inner joy. Our souls are spiritual entities like angels and share this innate joy in existing and manifesting. Rashi comments on the Pasuk of how “wine causes man’s heart to rejoice” by saying it removes worry, causing happiness. How does removing fear create happiness? The answer is that happiness is there, but is drowned out by our negative emotions. So, when those emotions are dulled, it allows us to access our inner default state of joy. This insight can cause us to shift our focus from creating joy to reducing the space we allow for things that drown out our joy.

The Gratitude Attitude

The word “Jew” comes from the name Judah, which comes from “hodaah”, or gratitude. Hodaah also means admitting. The reason that “Jew”, “gratitude”, and “admitting” share the same etymology is that appreciating something also involves an admission of debt to the giver and is the essence of what a Jew is. It is a lifestyle that reflects our acknowledgment of the value of what we are given and Who gave it to us. In our relationship with Hashem, where the debt cannot possibly be repaid, choosing to deny the debt relieves us from the uncomfortableness of the lack of even reciprocation in our relationship with Him. Denial of what Hashem does for us is understandable in the short term but comes at the high long term cost of depriving us of a powerful source of joy in our lives.

We Are All Rich Beyond Measure

The Midrash says that Asheer is an acronym for eyes, teeth, hands, and feet (Ayin- Einayim, Shin- sheenayim, Yud- Yaadayim, Reish- Raaglayim). We are all rich beyond measure with bodies, souls, families, life, etc. What makes someone genuinely wealthy is their refusal to deny their wealth, as reflected by them being Sameiach bichelko, happy with their lot. The Mishna is not redefining wealth as being happy. It tells you that the way to be wealthy is realizing we all already are, and the one who lives in sync with it reflects this recognition.

Transcending from Appreciation to Gratitude

However, while appreciating what we have makes us rich, it does not make us feel loved and essential unless we attribute that good to Hashem. To have the “emunascha baleilos,” “faith in bad times,” we need to not only appreciate what we have but also “Lihaagid baboker chasdecha,” to attribute the good times to their Source. Once we do, our lives will be an eternal love fest with Hashem inundating us with unconditional and constant gifts, which, if we recognize as coming from Him, will allow us to feel loved and receive the love that we all desperately crave. Let’s understand that joy is already in our hearts and that by reducing negativity (but not eliminating it), appreciating how rich we truly are, and attributing that wealth to Hashem, we can bring it to the surface and live with a joy rooted in reality.

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Benson Fox is a contributing editor for Mochers Magazine, a PsyD candidate and practices as a certified transformation life coach. Email “RESULTS” to results@coachbensonfox.com for a free discovery session and check out coachbensonfox.com