Maybe it’s everything except you

Review of “Maybe It’s Me — on being the wrong kind of woman” by Eileen Pollack

Review by Carole J Greene

Iwas engaged with this book merely by reading its title. That doesn’t happen often. Typically, I don’t get immersed in a book until I’ve read enough of it to convince me that continuing to read will not be a waste of my time. When have you ever known a book author to admit — in the title, no less — that she may be at fault for doing things wrong? We humans nearly always look for a scapegoat, someone or something to blame when things turn out miserably. But not Eileen Pollack. Not this time.

I had been lured. I had to read this book to discover the essays this prolific writer had selected from her oeuvre to prove the point her title makes. As I peeled away the layers of her stories to reveal the heart of this literary onion, I got acquainted with the woman herself. I found her likable, relatable, with a deep understanding of the world and a killer wit. Like all of us, she searched for love, acceptance and self-respect.

Throughout this read, I enjoyed each tale she wove, whether it was about how she was determined to break the rules society had established for women. Or how she wondered whether her Orthodox Jewish family would ever accept her Polish Catholic boyfriend. Or how, when visiting Krakow, she kept surgeons at arm’s length after their pathetically inaccurate diagnosis of uterine cancer. Or how she managed, on a self-directed tour of Israel, to bond with this enigmatic land.

As I turned the pages of her essay collection, I reminded myself that seldom do authors tell their stories with such honesty. If they do, it’s usually in a novel, where the author can disguise her own fears and longings by introducing them through her fictional characters. Pollack has turned out several of those. But this book featured selected essays, which revealed the truths that inhabit each life episode she describes.

What is the “wrong kind of woman?” From Pollack’s perspective, it’s one who earns a degree in physics — from Yale, no less — when science is still a boys’ club. It’s one who enters a so-called marriage of equals only to find herself expected to do all the child-rearing, all the housework, all the laundry and grocery shopping. Service personnel coming to take care of a problem in their home? Care to guess who’s expected to stay home from work? Want to predict whether that marriage lasted?

Can her interpretation of society’s expectations of a good woman be so far off course that she believes the fault must lie with herself? It’s a question millions of modern women have asked. This book will confirm for you the answer to that question. Eileen Pollack will elucidate her answer on Friday, Jan. 20, at 10 a.m., via Zoom. Buy your ticket at jewishbookfestival.org.

Join Us

Wednesday, Jan. 4, Noon

Cathy Barrow

“Bagels,Schmears, and a Nice Piece of Fish: A Whole Bunch of RecipestoMake at Home” Thursday, Jan. 12, 2 p.m. Isabel Vincent “OvertureofHope”

Friday, Jan. 20, 10 a.m. Eileen Kathy Pollack “MaybeIt’sMe”

For tickets visit jewishbookfestival.org