You think you have T’Zoores?!

Zoog mir in Yiddish

By Sol Awend, GenShoah SWFL

Next to dining and bragging about our grandkids, dealing with health issues and doctors is a Jewish indoor sport, especially if you’re a senior. No matter how small, every ailment is a reason to worry and is to be discussed with friends and family. If the problem persists, it’s off to the doctor we go.

I agree with the notion of paying attention to what your body is telling you, but if it doesn’t keep you up at night, how serious can it be? If it goes away in a day or two, even better. Here in Florida, aches and pains have sprouted into a billion plus dollar industry. It’s devoted to every single bodily part you can name, both inside and outside.

Not making light of one’s medical issues; it’s good to be aware of what’s going on. I don’t want to brag, but I‘ve had my share of mac’hles; from one end to the other and points in between. (I’m fah klemp’t, Can we talk?)

How about the veitook you don’t feel, the krenk hiding behind your liver or that pipkeh on your forehead? I could go on for days, but the fact is, medical issues fall into two categories: major and minor. What’s vic’htik to you, is nisht ahzoy geh ferlick to me. It seems every problem has a life of its own; a beginning, middle and an end. First, you hear about the ailment. Then, you hear about the treatment, and lastly, the recovery. At that point, the news travels, and statements turn into frahges that can only be answered by more frahges.

“Did you hear?” (Dos’t geh hayet?)

“No, what?” (Nein, Voos?)

“When?!” (Venn?!)

“Yesterday? And she didn’t tell me?!” (Nahnaac’hten? Un zee ot mir nisht geh zoogt?!)

"What’s wrong?" (Voos see?)

Then comes the $64 question ...

“Who’s her doctor?” (Vayeh iz ihreh dawkteh?)

After that comes the opinions about who the doctor is and why they’re good/no good.

“He’s no good.” (Eh toyg off geh poores.) (lit. He’s good for nothing).

In defense to doctors and the medical community, if all is well, they’re heroes. And if not, see the quote above.

A list of important terms to know

Mac’hles (MAC’H-less), PIP kes -- Ailments, pimple, skin eruption

Ich hob fah sheedeeneh mac’les, a filet pipkes off’n poon. -- I have a variety of ailments, even pimples on my face.

Vic’htik (VIC’H tik) -- Important

Nisht ahzoy geh ferlick (NISHT AHzoy GEH FER lik) -- Not so terrible (dangerous)

Ich mein ahz doos fleck of’n poonem iz vic’htik, dehvall deh dawkteh zoog’t ahz siz nisht ahzoy geh ferlec’h. -- I think that mark on my face is noteworthy, but the doctor says it’s not very serious.

Geh Frayg/Frahgeh/ Frahgess (FRAYG/ FRAH geh/ FRAH gess) -- Ask question/ Questions

Ich hob geh frag’t ah saac’h frahges. -I asked a lot of questions.

Kishkes (KISH kes) -- Intestines, guts

Deh kishkess teeyen mir vei. My innards are causing me pain.

Moogen (MOO ghen) -- Esophagus

Bowec’h (BOW ec’h) -- Stomach

Deh moogen lot zec’h aroop t’zin deh bowec’h. -- The esophagus drops down into the stomach.

Haltz (HALTZ) -- Throat

Deh haltz iz meh geh shvol’n, ich ken nisht shlingen. -- My throat is swollen, I can’t swallow.

K’nee (K’NEE) -- Knee

Fees (FEES) – Feet

Hant (HANT) – Hand

Hent (HENT) -- Hands

Deh knee is t’zeh broc’hen, deh sheeyec’h k’vetchen deh fees un dee hent teeyen vei. -The knee is broken; my shoes are pinching my feet and my hands hurt.

Plyt’zeh -- Shoulder

Plyt’zess -- Shoulders

Dee plyt’zess zenen royt fin t’zee fil zin. My shoulders are red from too much sun.

Deh Laybeh (Deh LAY beh) – The liver.

Dee Neeren (Dee NEE ren) – The kidneys.

Deh laybeh mit dee neeren zenen fah saamp’t. -- The liver and the kidneys are toxic.