The gift

By Rabbi Howard S. Herman DD

Think back to when you were a kid. At various points in your year, someone would give you a gift. It could be for your birthday, or maybe Chanukah, or perhaps a member of your family went on a trip and brought something back for you.

When you received the gift, if you didn’t acknowledge it, your parents would instruct, “Say thank you.” When you were very young, one of the first words your parents taught you, other than “please,” was “thank you.” If someone gave you something, the gift giver was entitled to politeness and acknowledgement.

After a while, you caught on and you would utter this phrase habitually, without needing the verbal cue or even thinking about it first.

“Thanks” comes up quite a bit this season of the year. I have always found it curious that all of us, not just Jews, are so focused on “thanks” in November. Yet it doesn’t seem to be much of a priority the rest of the year.

In fact, not only is it not a priority, we seem to walk around with an attitude of expectation, where everything we receive is simply coming to us as a matter of course. The prevailing attitude seems to be “I’m a good person, I work hard, I play by the rules, so why shouldn’t everything come my way?” It almost seems there is a “yin and yang” philosophy operating. I do this, so I get that.

But where is the gratitude?

Judaism has always taken a very strong stand on being gracious and thankful for the blessings and bounty that come our way. The Hebrew word for gratitude, “hakarat hatov,” literally means recognizing the good. Practicing gratitude as a Jewish value means recognizing the good that is already yours.

Gratitude, as a Jewish value from the Torah’s point of view, is an integral part of one’s spiritual life. We say Birchat Hamazon (grace after meals) and the motzi before we eat as a way of daily expressing our gratitude for the food we have.

In traditional Judaism, we are to say a minimum of 100 blessings every day. We are to stop and say blessings over a myriad of things we encounter daily. Why? Because saying a blessing means you have to physically stop and notice what is there. Our days shouldn’t just be a blur of objects and activities that we simply pass through without noticing.

We have real gifts in our lives. Take something simple like eyesight or breathing. My guess is that most of us never give them a second thought until something goes wrong with them. Then we start praying to be able to go back to when they were working properly.

We rarely ever think about the food we buy. But what happens if it is not readily available to us? It is only then, that we begin to see what a blessing it really was.

The ideal of gratitude comes from our very name, “Jew.” The word Jew comes from the tribe of Judah, or in Hebrew, “Yehudah,” which means “thanksgiving.” Leah, Judah’s mother, gave him that name since she wanted to express her thanks to God. The very first words of the very first morning prayer “modeh ani” mean “I thank you.” In “Pirke Avot, Ethics of our Ancestors,” the question, “Who is rich?” is asked. The answer: those who rejoice in their own portion.

Please don’t relegate being thankful to one day in November. Open your eyes and heart to the abundant blessings that are yours each and every day, with every breath you take. May you be inspired to embrace gratitude every day of your life. Shalom Uvracha Rabbi Howard Herman serves at Naples

Jewish Congregation.