BACK TO SCHOOL

Whether your kids are attending school in person or online, this year is sure to be di‡ erent. We’ve asked our partners to help give parents some tips and advice when it comes to discussing COVID-19 or setting up a home learning space for your child.

Online Learning

By Brian Pargman,

Martin J. Gottlieb Day School C oronavirus has brought many changes to our daily lives. The impact on education was felt last spring and will impact teaching and learning once school resumes in the fall. While many schools across the country are developing contingency plans to ensure that student learning remains strong, it is equally important for families to develop strategies that will allow students to thrive online if schools resort back to distance learning. Here are a few tips to help: CREATE A DEDICATED SPACE Students should have a dedicated workspace for online learning and to complete assignments. This space should be free from all distractions. Get rid of the cell phone or TV and let this area be truly dedicated to schoolwork. Your student can also decorate this space to make it their own with pictures, cushions, or items that are not distracting but make the area more comfortable.

REVIEW TECHNOLOGY Ensure that your computer or laptop is confi gured in a manner that is best suited to help you make the most of your students’ online learning platform. It is better to fi nd out now while you can make any necessary adjustments than when school starts. You won’t be the only one seeking technology help, so the earlier you can plan, the better! MAINTAIN VIRTUAL CLASSROOM ETIQUETTE In order to make the most out of everyone’s time online, review with your student basic virtual classroom etiquette. Microphones should be muted unless it is the student’s turn to speak to the teacher or class. The side chat bar should be used to confi rm understanding, ask questions, and

suggest ideas. Backgrounds should not distract classmates. Also, be mindful of noisy pets or other people visible on camera.

KEEP COMMUNICATION CHANNELS OPEN Don’t be a stranger to your student’s teacher. If you have questions or concerns about assignments or technology, reach out to the teacher directly, so the issue can be resolved. Tina Silva, Head of School at Martin J. Gottlieb Day School and DuBow Preschool, stresses that “We know these are unusual times for many families and we want our parents to reach out to us if something doesn’t feel just right or if they have questions about online learning. We are all in this together and our entire staff is here to help.”

BREAK TIMES ARE IMPORTANT Encourage your child to take breaks. Sitting in front of a computer can sometimes feel tedious and students may need to re-energize. Go for a walk or jog around the block to help clear your student’s mind and start fresh.

STAY ON SCHEDULE Create and stick to a study plan. Online learning can be convenient, but procrastination can be detrimental to online learners. Help your child stay organized and not fall behind in classes. Silva points out that, “If procrastination becomes an ongoing issue, it is very important to contact your child’s teachers. The teacher and student partnership is vital to making sure the student stays on task.”

MAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS Friendships are vital for children’s emotional wellbeing and parents should make time for children to remain connected with their friends. Scheduled time for video chats or opportunities to connect while keeping the proper social distance is important so children can talk to their peers, laugh, and share special moments with each other.

STAY IN TOUCH WITH OTHER PARENTS Just as it is important for children to stay connected, it is equally important for parents to remain connected to other parents and to check-in and share their online experiences with each other. What is working well for their family? Can they share ideas that haven’t worked and should be avoided?

BE POSITIVE! While there remains uncertainty related to the coronavirus, we are hopeful that things will return to normal in the near future. Be sure to look at the bright side of things. As much as things have changed, we should also spend time being grateful for the opportunities that we have experienced as a result of these changes.

Rabbi Shalom Horowitz, M.S. Ed., MSCC, Incoming Head of School at Torah Academy

Talking to Kids About COVID-19

Before March, parents and children had defined spaces to achieve goals, times to be together, and roles and ways of doing things. COVID-19 has changed the dynamic. Parents are working from home, children are learning virtually, no one visits and few people leave their homes.

The new dynamic that parents need to address is: How do we talk to our kids during COVID-19?

I am reminded of a clever joke that is often repeated by Professors at the beginning of special education courses: What is the difference between regular education and special education? Nothing. Special education is regular education, just much better.

The same philosophy can apply to talking to our children. The pandemic is really an opportunity for a parent or guardian to have a dialogue with their child on an even deeper and broader level than during normal times.

I recommend these five strategies to help talk to children during this time.

1. DON’T TALK!

Talking to, or at, children is not an activity that they enjoy or like doing (just as adults don’t). It does not help foster relationships or bonds. Instead, you want to elicit conversation with your child by creating a healthy conversational culture.

How is that done? Here is a proven successful strategy:

Share a real fear or worry that you have (which is age appropriate) with your child. For example: Grandpa is in an assisted living home. I am worried that he is not getting 26

outside enough during COVID-19. Or, I need to be careful about what I eat since I am moving less now that I am working from home. For an older child you may share your own health or personal financial worries.

When your child hears that you also have worries, he will be more at ease to share his fears and concerns, and will not feel that he is being judged or lectured at, so you can now ask him, “So, what’s worrying you?”

It is at this point that we should not talk, give solutions and definitely not minimize his fears. Rather, be an active listener, show empathy (with body language), and demonstrate validation by repeating his fear or concern and saying something to the effect of: “I am here for you.”

2. LET KIDS LEAD

Kids can come up with crazy, exciting ideas. Empower them by embracing them with joy and excitement! Become their cheerleader, fan and supporter. They want to make potato broccoli pizza? Work together with them to create it. They want to paint their room orange and yellow? Put on a smock with them and brush away. Guess what you are doing when you work together on a fun project? You talk and interact. You are laying the foundations of future trust and the ability to have meaningful conversations.

3. BUILD SELF THEIR CONFIDENCE

Here is a small quiz. Name three things your child is great at that he/she has not really discovered yet. (Actually, I hope you can name ten things). Pick one and let them shine at

something they are great at and love! This is similar to the second idea mentioned above, except that this one is more parent directed and facilitated. Children (and adults) need to feel that they can make a difference, can be productive, and that somebody believes in them. Creating intrinsic self-confidence can go a long way in developing the foundation for a child to be willing to share and to listen.

4. KEEP A JOURNAL AND WRITE

Invest in a beautifully designed notebook, diary, or journal, that is attractive and practical. As computers and tablets have become the norm, writing long handed is going the way of the Sony Walkman® (I hope I am not dating myself). Like adults, children don’t always want to share their feelings and worries although they may want to express them. Encouraging them to write daily not only strengthens fine motor skills and improves critical thinking and creative writing skills, it also promotes their self expression and understanding. As parents, we demonstrate to our children that they also have feelings, have personal space, and that we are there to support them in their journeys.

Writing helps children develop clarity of self, of their home and of their social environment, which is a long term investment for their personal growth.

5. BE MINDFUL

Being home day after day, week after week with our children, we may find ourselves promising to reward them with something special or threatening to punish them for an infraction. If we don’t follow through on our word, we are breaking the fundamental trust that takes building and work. Children have strong intuitions. They may not be able to articulate why they are behaving a certain way but our patterns of behaviour can determine to an extent how much our children are willing to trust us and converse with us. Being home for such an extended period of time can lead to shorter levels of patience. It is critical that as parents we not say words, comments or statements that are hurtful, accusatory, demeaning or even critical.

Children are also struggling. Our frustrations cannot become theirs. The more we support them, the more they trust and interact with us. As the adults in the house, we cannot lose sight of our greatest responsibility; to give our children the skills and self confidence to deal in a healthy and mature manner with the challenges that life will throw at them.

COVID-19 is your moment as a parent to shine. Use it!