family

Jewish communal involvement is second nature for Perrisue and Victor Silverstein’s extended family, especially in Federation’s web of communal activities. Federation, which the Silverstein family has supported through donations and leadership over four (4) generations, in turn nurtures family members through the friendships, mentors, and opportunities for community activism that defines Federation involvement. Interviews with Perrisue, her daughter-in-law Andrea, and Andrea’s son Gabe are representative of the entire family’s commitment to Federation.

Q: CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GOT INVOLVED IN FEDERATION?

Perrisue: Le dor va dor, passing the tradition from generation to generation. My two grandmothers worked in business and gave their own contributions to Hadassah, and my mother became active in Federation as well as Hadassah. When we moved to Princeton, joining and getting active in the Federation was a way to meet Jewish women who not only had a commitment to Israel, like Hadassah, but also to local Jewish needs, which are very important to me, and also social needs in Israel.

Andrea: My family was heavily involved in the Greater Hartford Jewish Federation. For my parents, this was their main philanthropic focus. My father is a former Campaign Chair and President and my mother a former Campaign Chair and President for Women’s Philanthropy. As young adults, my father and mother, my siblings, and I received the Young Leadership Award in our respective federations, in addition to serving as board members. My mother is a committed Lion of Judah [annual personal commitment of $5,000+] and also received the national Kipnis-Wilson Friedland award.

As a kid, I would volunteer at our big campaign day. As a young single in New York City, I went to events, tapped into the social network of federation, and made a gift as soon as I had an income. In 1998 I went on a national young leadership mission to Israel, which gave me a chance to see things and areas of Israel and meet with people that you never would meet on your own. You enhance your Jewish pride and your commitment to Israel and to Jews all over the world. It exposed me to the true heartbeat of Israel and all that the Federation does.

When David and I moved to Princeton in 2001, we as a couple made Federation our #1 philanthropic focus, and I got very involved in volunteerism and leadership—as a board member, Women’s Philanthropy campaign chair, and co-president of Women’s Philanthropy.

Gabe: I grew up seeing my parents and grandparents involved in Federation, and I’ve always known how important it is to the Jewish community. Mark Merkovitz, the Executive Director of the Federation, became a mentor to me. Even more, Rabbi Adam Feldman told me how important supporting the Jewish community is because time and time again the Jewish community supports us and our families, and it is so important to give back.

Q: PERRISUE AND ANDREA, WHAT IS WOMEN’S PHILANTHROPY? WHAT WAS YOUR EXPERIENCE LIKE BEING INVOLVED IN IT?

Perrisue: I have my own business [in estate jewelry and silver], and I felt good that I could make my own donation and my own contribution from my hard work; women today are very career oriented and can make their own choices for giving. Also, it’s great when women get together. We have our own speakers, talking about issues we are interested in and women who have contributed significantly to their communities. It’s a way of making friends too and a way of meeting other Jewish women with a commitment to Israel, security, and local Jewish needs.

Andrea: The reason that Women’s Philanthropy was created is because women really do often drive the giving decisions in a family. I think also there was a belief that having a group specifically focused on bringing women together and educating women and creating the social fabric among the Jewish women in the community was really important for the Federation and for the women. It’s an opportunity for us to gather together as mothers and sisters and friends and grandmothers to both have pride in our impact on the Jewish community, to some extent separate from our husbands, both financially and socially. I really made my most precious friendships through my involvement in Federation; they are multigenerational and they have enriched my life. You are with women who have common interests to yours, and you are really working together to make a difference in the Jewish community.

Q: GABE, WHAT EXPERIENCES, IN ADDITION TO YOUR FAMILY, HAVE MOTIVATED YOUR INVOLVEMENT WITH FEDERATION?

About two years ago I went to a pro-Palestinian rally [May 21, 2021] in Hines Plaza with one of my friends, to observe and show some support for the other side. I saw classmates of mine who were supporting the Palestinian side. There were signs that said “Zionism=Naziism” or were calling for the destruction of Israel and the displacement of its Jews. Then last season on the bus home from an ice hockey game, one kid called me a kike; maybe he thought it was in jest or he said it ignorantly and didn’t know it was an insensitive term. I’ve also heard small jokes about money and nose jobs—those common Jewish stereotypes. The antisemitism in my local community and vicious hate toward Israel was very frightening.

Through Mark Merkovitz’s mentorship, I decided to join the Jewish Club [at Princeton High School], where now I am the president. My goal is to do whatever I can to support my community. In the Jewish Club, we have discussions about Judaism, celebrate holidays and talk about their meaning, or discuss current events that impact us. We also debunk all the myths and right the wrongs of the stereotypes, misinformation, and disinformation. When antisemitism started to spike in 2021, the Federation mobilized the Stand Up to Hate Rally [June 17, 2021] and invited me to be one of the speakers because I’m one of the larger voices for advocacy in the Princeton High School community. It was an opportunity for me to channel my fear and anger from previous experiences and turn it into a message of hope and awareness. When I spoke, the mayor and school administrators were there, and I tried to garner more support for education in the schools because it is really lacking: People don’t know the history and don’t know what is right and wrong. They make hurtful comments and don’t know the impact of their comments—regardless of their intentions.

Going into the rally I hadn’t really done much as far as activism, but this was the catalyst for my involvement with the Federation and the Jewish community. Recently I did a presentation [developed as an outreach program through his internship with the teen advocacy organization Stand With Us] for the Jewish Club about antisemitism to 35 students, about 20 of them Jewish. A lot of Jews will bring their non-Jewish friends, which is really important— our message is not just to Jewish people; we want to spread the message to non-Jews who can be allies to the Jewish community. The dean of students, who was at the presentation, invited me to give it again at the January faculty meeting. I am also working with the Federation’s Jewish American Heritage Festival committee on the event planning.

Q: DO YOU THINK SUPPORTING THE FEDERATION IS STILL IMPORTANT TODAY AND WHY?

Perrisue: I do because we are handling local needs, not just Israel. We have an aging population and rising anti-Semitism. We don’t think we have poor Jews in our area, but we do. Israel is doing well militarily and economically, but they still have social needs, for example, they are still bringing Jews from Ukraine and Eastern Europe.

Andrea: My parents’ view and philosophy, which is my view and what really spoke to me, is that the Federation is truly the unifying force of the Jewish community. The concept is that a vibrant Jewish community is really the combination of the many entities that support Jewish lives and life: the synagogues, day school, homes for the elderly, Jewish summer camps, and social service and social welfare organizations like the Jewish Family and Children’s Service that take care of the needy. The Federation has the role and opportunity to have a strategic view and a birds’ eye view of the whole ecosystem—to not only support each and every agency consistently but also to respond quickly to critical needs from agency to agency or issue to issue, from the war in Ukraine to the consequences of the pandemic. It also addresses the rapid spread of anti-Semitism that is both global but also in Princeton. As importantly, it supports Israel, not in a political way but in a very needed social service and welfare capacity. I believe and my parents and my inlaws believe that my dollars given to Federation have a greater impact on the holistic Jewish community, supporting the ecosystem of Jewish life in this area.

One of the things that I have been really impressed with more recently with Federation is there is a really sound strategy, and I think because of the plan that Dan Herscovici put in place our Federation is more nimble than ever to be able to address the needs of the community where they are most critical and to still be that unifying force for the Jewish community as a whole.