Teacher Teacher I Love You
Harris Ng The Mental Mind, the Spiritual Mind, and now the Educated Mind. Harris’ works are not mere fiction; they are always touching, victorious, glorious, and sometimes mysterious!
Credits Copyright Š Ng Yoke Meng, Harris First Published 3rd October 2009
ISBN:
Illustrations: Reggie Wan Picture conceptualization: Helen Yong Design and Production: PaperPlay Publications No. 9 Jurong Town Hall Road, #03-44, iHUB, Singapore 609431 Email : Publish@paperplay.sg
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any format by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.
Acknowledgement The writer wish to thank all his great angel-like friends who open doors for me by helping in the successful production of this book, with much gratitude especially to: Francis Goo (Simei Care Centre) James Chan (St. Andrew’s Lifestreams) Dr Eu Pui Wai (Institute of Mental Health) Cherlyn Hoo Chen Hui Heng Gladys Goh Darren Quek Crystal Heng Grace Lee Helen Yong (SAMH) Sally (Silver Ribbon Singapore) Porsche (Silver Ribbon Singapore) Dr Tan Chue Tin (Mount Elizabeth Hospital)
Last but not least, my heart-felt thanks go to Reggie Wan, a professional portrait and caricature artist, for his beautiful drawings. I am also grateful to Helen Yong for conceptualizing the pictures for Reggie, and to Crystal Heng, for proof-reading the final draft. (www.iportraitstudio.com)
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You can discover new oceans only if you lose sight of the shore. Unknown Writer
A great job done out of love… your love! Thank you.”
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Foreword
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TEACHER TEACHER I LOVE YOU is dedicated to:
All teachers and friends who are teaching their loved ones in their homes or institutions, My beloved wife, Violet, My beloved sister, Oi Chan, a teacher, My Godson, Hui Heng, a student, And My chirpy students who have asked for this book “Teacher, Teacher, when are you going to write about us?�
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Foreword
A Fulfilled Life-Style
F
irst of all, thank you Harris for extending me the honour and privilege of reading your book before it goes into print.
This book has allowed me to walk deeper into your personal life and get to know you a little better other than the amazing Mental Health Advocate that you are best famed for in our circle. I must admit I cried rather shamelessly (pai seh, pai seh) when I read about your teaching experience at Kim Seng Technical School. I felt connected to your students --- you see, when I was young, I gave up even trying as I was convinced I could never made it after I was transferred from a public school to a governmentaided school. An employer of my mom, who was a teacher in that government-aided school, out of the goodness of her heart (God bless her), assessed that I
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was a high risk to being a delinquent as I was always left alone by myself at home. That teacher, Mrs Catherine Hu, was a kind soul who not only arranged for me to receive free spectacles and donated uniforms, she also mobilized her colleagues to drive me to her place whereby her own children would coach me in my studies. But I gave up on myself as I was indignant about being labeled; I could not see the love and concern that had been put in, into the effort of protecting and shielding me. God was good as He led me somehow to pass my PSLE and GCE ‘O’ level when I normally could barely scrape through in my usual examinations and tests. I can identify that you are not just a tutor to your students: in you they have found acceptance and normalcy. Just like when you told Weenie that it was okay to fail, it is the same hand and that same heart in you that you reach out to those who are still struggling with their illness. It is okay to have Schizophrenia --life doesn’t ends there. In fact, I believe that it is because we have been comforted that we sometimes are better able to comfort others.
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Foreword
Harris, your richness in life has greatly enriched me. Thank you for being a blessing in my life. Helen Yong Social Worker Singapore Association for Mental Health
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Table of Contents Acknowledgement ......................................................................... ii Dedications .................................. Error! Bookmark not defined. Foreword....................................................................................... vi Table of Contents ....................................................................... ix PROLOGUE ................................................................................. 1 PART I : Teaching in My Early Years ...................................... 7 Chapter 1 : On Teaching as a Volunteer: Children’s Aid Society .............................................................. 8 Chapter 2 : Being Taught to be a Volunteer: Singapore Spastics Association ..................................... 12 Chapter 3 : To Sir With Love: .... Kim Seng Technical School ............................................................. 18 Chapter 4 : Why I Choose To Teach ................................ 29 Chapter 5 : Adult Education: Blue-collar Workers and Shop-keepers ................................................. 37 PART II : The Home Tutor ....................................................... 45 Chapter 6 : Teaching Children from Wealthy Homes .. 46 Chapter 7 : Teaching the ‘A’ Class Students................... 58
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Table of Contents
Chapter 8 : Teachers’ Dilemma ........................................ 74 Chapter 9 : Pointers for More Effective Teaching .......... 81 PART III : The Mental Wellness Advocate................................. 89 Chapter 10 : Called to “teach” the Mentally Disordered; SAMH ............................................................ 91 Chapter 11 : Ambassador for the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) ............................................... 100 Chapter 12 : Teaching the Recovery Process through Silver Ribbon Singapore (SRS).................. 108 Chapter 13 : CONCLUSION ............................................ 117 Teacher says, “Bye Bye and Be Blessed!” --BB & BB! ............................................................. Appendix 1 ................................................................................ 128 Appendix 2 ................................................................................ 136 Appendix 3 ................................................................................ 142 Appendix 4 ................................................................................ 148 Comments by Readers... ................................................... 149
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Prologue
“When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door that we don’t see the one that has opened for us.” Helen Keller Well known visually impaired author
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PROLOGUE
The Mental, the Spiritual and the Educated Mind in a human
I
f you have read my book on the mental mind, entitled Recovered Grace: Schizophrenia, you would have noticed that the thoughts in me “come by themselves�. The messages in the brain are transmitted along the axon of the brain cell and between the brain cells by neurotransmitters, somewhat similar to message transmission in a computer. If there is an over excess of the neurotransmitter, Dopamine, we have racing thoughts or shooting messages. This results in hallucinations and delusions, which are mostly negative in nature. Link-ups and connections have become faulty.
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Prologue
If you have also read my book on the spiritual mind, stylishly called, When I First Walked In, you would also have noted clearly that the thoughts in this case, are generated in the soul. The thoughts from the soul initiate the “conscience”. We may quietly ask, “Where does the conscience originate from, if it is not from the soul?” As in a computer, someone must provide the input, isn’t it? Sometimes, we do something entirely out of greed or “pure lust”, but after doing it, we feel guilty for a wrong has been committed. Our soul through our “conscience” tells us that we have done a wrong. But, on the other hand, our mental mind likes to rationalize that it is right. “But the girl asks for it, she deserves to be treated in such a manner because she tempts all men!” Or, “I have no intention of cheating the old woman, I do not have a choice because I need the money to buy myself food.” In such an ensuing debate within our own selves, we can clearly see the mental and the spiritual sides in a human being. Spiritual thoughts are also inspired by the Spirit of God, called the Holy Spirit, which pervades the entire universe and beyond --- the whole of Creation. When the spiritual thoughts come, I am calm and joyful. I accept the “guidance of the thoughts” or rather the
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
guidance of the Holy Spirit, and I begin to carry out my mission which I believe is purposeful, kindhearted and positive and meaningful. Unlike the thoughts in a disturbed and disordered mind, which may be negative and fearful, thoughts from the spiritual mind are positive and inspiring. In this book on the Educated or Educational Mind, my thoughts do not “come by themselves” Most of the thoughts are applied thoughts. They are knowledgebased and are gathered mostly through a process called “learning” or “education”. For example, when we want to solve a mathematical problem, we think hard, draw models and recall formulae or mathematical principles and concepts. We then apply them to solve the problems. While writing this present book, I have done a lot of recollection and careful thinking. It is unlike the state of mind I was in when writing my second book on the spiritual mind. In When I First Walked In, the thoughts came, flowed spontaneously, and I felt inspired. If I had any discomfort, I would refer to the Bible to do checking, to seek further guidance on the spiritual matters, to confirm or to gain some strong assurance that the thoughts were holy and acceptable
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Prologue
to God. With much blessings, bless me, I did find inspired verses in the scriptures and I was overjoyed. The educated or educational mind is powerful. It teaches and set rules and regulations. One major emphasis of the educational mind is in the legal aspects. Another is in the creation of wealth and business procedures such as in banking, in insurance systems and in the institutions of profit-making ventures and governmental taxes. A government run by people with education is better and more efficient than one without. Also, we do not expect to see good teachers or doctors if they have poor education. So, I would like to suggest that when the three minds are combined, when they come together in a unit, we have a human being, a holistic one. Not to forget, and I wish once again to remind: animals have no spiritual or educated minds. Plants, though they are regarded as living things, do not have all the three minds. Read on and be enthralled.
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
If you find the ideas in my written work new and challenging, do recommend my books to others. Hope my books are fascinating and easy to read. But parts may be mysterious and not easy to digest, bless you!
Bless and be blessed.
Sincerely, Harris Ng
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Prologue
“Don’t tell the Lord how great the problem is; tell The PROBLEM how great the Lord is!” Writer unknown
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PART I Teaching in My Early Years
“The Educated Mind anchors the Soul, delights and opens the heart. Education should be a pursuit of Joy in Perseverance and not a Struggle in Fears.” By the Author
“A closed mind is the greatest prison.” By the Pope
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Chapter 1
On Teaching as a Volunteer: Children’s Aid Society
I
walked towards the spacious, multi-coloured mansions. A host of joyful angel-like children rushed out cheerfully to greet me, “Teacher, Teacher, we are surprised you really come! We have been waiting for you the whole morning. Sir, are you Mr. Harris Ng?” They were exuberant, with sparkling eyes and cherry cheeks. It was 1.00 pm. The brilliant rays of the sun were showering blessings from high above. Dancing blooms of red, white and yellow flowers nodded their heads approvingly, swaying graciously on the branches to welcome us in the warm afternoon breeze. The fragrance of the jasmine ushered me quickly into the building --- the children’s pink mansion.
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My church service had just ended at 11.30 am. Together with a church brother, we were there to teach and help the children every Sunday after their lunch. The Children’s Aid Society had about 50 children in their premises. The youngsters had no parents to look after them. Due to some reason or other, their parents were not with them. Some were orphans; others had parents who could not cope with the challenges in their lives. I would not want to describe any of the children as an “abused or abandoned child”. They were all very lovable, including their deeply troubled parents. First, we organized a short Singspiration plus an inspirational Story Telling Session with games to cheer them up. We brought sweets, cookies and sometimes chocolates and ice-cream. Children love to clap while they sing. They also love to bombard us with little, witty adult questions. “Why do you come here to teach us free of charge? I heard that you are both not paid for the work! Isn’t it tiring to come such a long way after a whole week of strenuous, hard work in your office, followed by a full Sunday morning in the church? We do wonder who gives you such amazing strength. Seemingly so tired, and yet you can both still sing so joyously and well?
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On Teaching as a Volunteer: Children’s Aid Society
Who taught you how to sing? We love your singing, we love both of you. It’s great that you can play the guitar too!” “This brother from my church plays the guitar; I don’t. I prefer to sing as I am in the church choir for some time. We learn our singing also through our participation in the church cell group and youth fellowship. One of these days, we will bring all of you along if you enjoy singing. But for the present, we have to spend time preparing for the year-end final examinations. The main reason we are here is to help in your education, to climb up the ladder, so to speak. Here is my friend. You can call him Brother David Lim. He will help to answer any questions you may have regarding your school homework. As for me, I will focus on preparing those of you who will soon be taking the PSLE, your Primary School Leaving Examination. This is an important examination and I know that you are all eagerly looking forward to it. You would like to go to the top secondary schools in Singapore, wouldn’t you? Raffles Boys, Raffles Girls? Anglo-Chinese Secondary, Catholic High, Anglican High or Chinese High? Has anyone of you thought of that? Yes? It’s cool, isn’t it?”
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
The group of children broke up into two smaller groups after the Singspiration and games. We proceeded to do serious work, preparing for the examinations. The atmosphere turned into one of silence and rapt attention. The children wanted to grow up to be independent, especially when no parents were around to look after them. We would continue to teach them not only to look after themselves, but to care for others when they grow up. They were not strictly taught how to make big money, chasing selfishly for the pot of gold, as it was often expected and done in many circles of high society. Occasionally, we would bring them for outings to Toa Payoh Park, to the Big Splash at East Coast Park and to the movies at Capitol, Lido and Cathay cinemas. Those were happy days filled with living memories. We might not have much gold nuggets in our pockets, but we surely did really have hearts of pure gold. The children themselves were gold to all of us! ďƒż
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Chapter 2
Being Taught to be a Volunteer: Singapore Spastics Association
I
could not remember much of what I had done there. I did not go there very often but what I saw was etched deep into my soul.
The children seemed to have twisted arms and legs. They also had unusual grinning facial expressions when they smiled. However, they were very lovable. What they need was care and love, not the strict, high academic grades in tests and examinations. Later, when they grew up, they might need to seek employment in the society in order to survive or be financially independent. Would the society accept them as they have a minimum of academic qualifications? With our present system-concept of
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work and employment, would it be possible for them to be offered a job with a sustainable income? As I was not experienced in helping the spastics, I tried to do what I could. I taught them simple arithmetic and English. I massaged their hands and legs, and tried making the movements more mobile by arranging interesting toy construction building sets together with them. I worried for their future. Most of all, I prayed frequently in my heart for them. Sometimes, I questioned the Divine, “Why are they burdened with such an unthoughtful and disabling condition? Are you a loving God to allow such physical disabilities to exist through no fault of the children themselves?” At other times, I praised Him, “They do bring a lot of love into this world. Before I come here as a volunteer, I have never seen so great a love. It is gripping and it truly touches the soul. God, you are indeed a God of Love. You give us Your love and teach us how to love. It is a love not found in our search for the pure attainment of physical perfection and worldly pleasures. Neither does such a love exist in the comfort of our secret desires!” Volunteering with the spastics enabled me not only to teach the children, it has also taught me a great deal
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Being Taught to be a Volunteer: Singapore Spastics Association
about the correct values and true meaning of life. It has moulded my humility before Man and the Divine. “Oh dear, sometimes in our life, we say we feel troubled and helpless. As they are born helpless, how much more troubled would they be than us?” The gripping thought still lurks deep in the insides of my soul and heart. I have also learnt to consider seriously the gravity of the problems of pain, strife and competition in our present day society. I pondered, “Meritocracy is no good here in this spastics association. What is needed is Magnanimity and Charity, selfless service and true devotion of prayer and care.” Again, I strongly felt the purpose for living was not just to strive for the pot of gold, although we may say, “Gold sparkles and is good.” When we said we wanted to give back to society what society had given us, we gave not only our cash, but also our time, our love, and our heart and soul. Just because we were in a position to offer help, just because our talent in building our nation is greatly in demand, it did not mean that we should demand an equally high remuneration in return for our contributions and efforts. We must not stoop so low as to ask for an
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
obscene salary in our service to mankind or to others. The term “market rate� should never be applied in this context, and it is sad that such a term has ever been invented! Why? For the simple reason that some of us are born with no marketable value. We are not a market product; we are born humane out of love. There are two reasons to live a truly meaningful life. Firstly, it is for a social cause. Secondly, it is for a metaphysical cause. It should never be solely for our own personal aggrandizement. Many live their life for an economic cause, without realising that they are just simply doing that and nothing more. As a volunteer teacher in a spastics association, I understood I had to serve with magnanimity, in truth and in love. True to myself and my belief, I knew I was doing it not for my own personal monetary goals. I felt there was indeed a godly, holy compassionate side in such sacrificial work. The days spent in the Singapore Spastics Association have made me become a more soulful person. I have gained deep insight into what life is all about. Our sojourn on earth will normally not last for more than a hundred years. We are spiritual beings having human experiences. What do we hope to achieve or
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Being Taught to be a Volunteer: Singapore Spastics Association
wish to contribute in such a short life span? Being a volunteer teacher to the spastics, I was indirectly taught in my capacity as a volunteer, to live a life that is worth living --- the victorious, glorious life! ďƒż
A good example is the best sermon. ‌ Proverb
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
Student Volunteer – a teenager’s Poem No money paid Not a fun activity to pick I was assigned as a volunteer To an organization I wish to kick. Part of my school enrichment program A special project my school beholds To the spastics, cerebral dystrophy association I was told to accept, arise and go! Held back by a tinge of fear My curiosity however did surface, For central to my Mind I still believe I am a creature of Grace. They taught me to massage numbed muscles To bend and activate stiff limbs The gentle flesh to flesh contact Redeemed my heart which at first was quite dim! I felt deep gratitude to my astute teacher He had sent me against my will. I now feel being called into the mission field The compassion is so true and indeed real!
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Chapter 3
To Sir With Love: ...................... ......................................... ......................................... .. Kim Seng Technical School
T
ears streamed rapidly down my cheeks. I was overwhelmed by my own emotions. Under the guidance of the Class Monitor, Mei Yoke, the Secondary Two students queued up in a line to apologise to me for what they had done. Some of them were crying too. I was assigned the task of teaching the Secondary Two boys and girls in April after the first school term. The students were unfocused. The 45 children in the class were dispirited. They showed little interest in what
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
they were supposed to study and learn. The class was noisy to the extreme. Teachers spent more time in trying to maintain discipline than to teach. Any experienced teacher would understand that to try to apply the guideline, “Teach less to learn more”, would be a potential disaster for these children. The students had all failed badly in the first term examination. They were thoroughly disheartened and were in no mood to continue with their school career. In fact, they were expected to be streamed out of the normal academic school into the Institute of Technical Education, the ITE. In those days it was considered not a mere a joke to construe the three letters to mean, “It’s The End”. Students who could not make it in the academic stream would end up finally there! The students themselves had given up literally by themselves. Some of us adults just simply like to call the young boys and girls “youth”, but they are actually the “older children”. They definitely need a lot of continuing close guidance from their parents and teachers. These children always demand more freedom and greater independence. However, most of them are unable to cope if they are left alone to fend by themselves. They are still children.
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To Sir With Love: Kim Seng Technical School
When I first walked into the class, I tried to impress upon them that it would be of great benefit to them if they could climb into the third and fourth year of secondary school, for they would then have the opportunity to try to obtain the internationally recognized Cambridge ‘O’ Level Certificate and be able to mix and move around in the English speaking world. However, I was not aware that the real problem was that the students were told they would only be able to make it to the ITE, the “It’s The End”, after their Second Year. They were expected to drop out as it was assumed that they were all not academically inclined. No one had really attempted to find out what exactly were their problems. Was it a lack of good guidance and strong motivation, or were the children facing a barricade of unsettling conflicts within their families at home? I gave them a diagnostic test in Mathematics hoping to shake them up. Out of the 45 students, only two passed the test. It was a simple test. The result showed that they had not grasped even the basics principles in the subject, they had no knowledge whatsoever on how to apply the formulae to solve the problems. Some could not even remember the formulae! Instead of “shaking” them up, I myself was terribly shaken!
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
I was in a dilemma. Should I persevere or should I let go? Should I quietly resign myself to accept the fact that they would not succeed? Should I go on to allow them to fail, consoling myself that I could no longer do anything more for them, as other teachers had already tried their best before I took over the responsibility to teach them. Even if I were to try, what more could I do? I prayed very much alone, silently in my heart. As a teacher, I was responsible for their success, to see them pass, to wish them well. I was not in a mood to give up. My intent was still to fight the battle and to run the race. But, it seemed quite impossible to do that. The odds were strongly stacked against me. Others had tried and failed. Should I try once more? Could I succeed, if I were to try? The reality was: I had already been assigned to be their teacher for the rest of the year! I prayed again. “If David could defeat Goliath, no one would dare to challenge me and declare that I would surely fail if I were to try. I refuse to accept defeat. Perhaps, we still have enough time; we do have quite a couple of months in hand before the year-end final examination. The children will be able to make it, if
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To Sir With Love: Kim Seng Technical School
and only if, they are willing to start now and work for it. It is not the end!�
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
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To Sir With Love: Kim Seng Technical School
As I debated within my mind, miserably alone with God, the class became noisier and noisier. There was a deep feeling of despair inside me. I broke down and cried. I pleaded in tears in a quivering voice, “Class, Boys and Girls, do you want to continue with your studies? Do you want to succeed? We can overcome if only you trust me. We have enough time to do it, to prepare for the final examination. I promise I will give my best to help all of you. I will stay back in the staff room after the official school hours. Come to me if you need help. Please, please listen, I am not doing it for myself.” Tears flowed uncontrollably down my face. My voice broke. The class was shocked. “Don’t you want to do your school proud? Push forward, push yourself, and help raise the flag of Kim Seng, your own school. Wave it sky high. We won’t want to fail our school!” There was complete silence. I waited and I cried. A full five minutes passed by. The weeping Class Monitor, Mei Yoke, then got up. She asked all the boys and girls to get off the seats. She gathered them in a long queue in front of me. One by one they bowed and
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
apologised. They each promised to study hard and to listen to me. All of them were crying too. “Sorry Teacher. We are very sorry for what we have done. We promise we will try. We shall overcome.� They had finally come to their turning point in their lives. They had decided to accept me as their Mathematics, Science and English teacher, all in one. Their confidence in themselves was re-built. They were ready to follow the Leaders, both the Class Monitor and me. We had promised to give our all to them and for them. Out of the 45 students, only four failed in the final examination. The rest were all promoted to Secondary Three. The Monitor topped the class. Of the four who failed, they chose to repeat their Second Year, to try again. There were no dropouts. It had been a difficult year for all of us. Throughout the time I was with them, I had a lingering feeling or thought in my bleeding heart. I had never revealed it to anyone before. I was a quiet person by nature. What was the thought?
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To Sir With Love: Kim Seng Technical School
“God, you have given me strength. Above all you have given all of them strength. My prayer has been answered. I saw the wonderful power in your works!” I had put my trust in God; the children had put their trust in me and the Monitor, Mei Yoke. Together we had overcome and we shall continue to overcome. We had always sung the song together. It is put here below for you to sing. By the way, “Kim Seng” means golden star in Chinese.
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The gospel motivational song:
WE SHALL OVERCOME 1. We shall overcome We shall overcome We shall overcome some day CHORUS:
Oh, deep in my heart I do believe We shall overcome Some day
2. We’ll walk hand in hand We’ll walk hand in hand We’ll walk hand in hand some day CHORUS 3. We shall all be free We shall all be free We shall all be free some day CHORUS 4. We are not afraid We are not afraid We are not afraid some day CHORUS
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To Sir With Love: Kim Seng Technical School
5. We are not alone We are not alone WE are not alone some day CHORUS 6. The whole wide world around The whole wide world around The whole wide world around some day CHORUS 7. We shall overcome We shall overcome We shall overcome some day
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Chapter 4
Why I Choose To Teach
L
oke Yang Public School was situated in Lim Chu Kang at the outskirt of the city. Surrounding the one storey building with wooden creaky doors and windows were small vegetable and pig farms. I will never forget my first day at the village school. The little village children were so friendly that they clung close to your body lovingly touching your hands and legs. They wore simple school uniforms and occasionally just slippers or clogs. They always had a ready smile for everyone. A Primary Three puny girl caught my eye. She had red and yellowish sores all over her legs and on some parts of her skinny hands. The ugly swellings oozing with pus were quite unsightly.
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Why I Choose to Teach
“Why has no one done something about that?” was the first question in my mind. “Is it because they live in smelly pig farms and the villagers are already so very accustomed to the sight?” The child was not complaining although she was obviously feeling very uncomfortable as the flies buzzed irritably around her wounds. Her classmates told me that she had had the sores for a very long time. There was nothing to worry about except that she could hardly sit still, and was also unable to concentrate on her study because of the constant itchiness. On the second day at the school, immediately after school hours, I hailed a taxi and brought the child to a clinic. I did not bother to inform her parents. The child said that it was not necessary as their parents were not at home. Of course, the taxi fare and medical expenses were paid out of my own pocket, but it was a small matter. The child had to be well in order to regain focus in her study. It is part of education, and it is within the thinking of an educated mind, that students must be taught how to maintain good health with healthy habits.
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Teacher Teacher I Love You
When I finally brought her home, her mother was so surprised that she kept on thanking me repeatedly. Two days later the sores subsided and in a week, they all disappeared. This opened warm eyes and everyone in the school began to talk about the small little miracle. The good news spread. “There has come a very caring new teacher in the school --- Come, come to see him!” They came; they came to ask for more help! Teaching in a rural village school carried with it no red tapes. There was little need to apply for Medical Certificates or to type tedious letters to seek parental permission if a teacher wished to help the students. In fact, the parents of the girl were so grateful that they gathered their rambutans and rice dumplings from their little farms and presented them as tokens of appreciation to me and to the class. We had a wonderful time munching together. Such a spirit of friendliness, care and concern was called “kampong spirit”. Unfortunately, it does not exist anymore in our present school system. Today, parents are required to report to the security first before they can step into a school. Food is not allowed to be eaten inside the class, nor are parents and friends allowed to buy food in the school canteen! Teachers are not allowed to bring a student out of a school, even to consult a doctor,
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Why I Choose to Teach
without prior approval from the principal or vice principal. I found the little Primary Three girl very lovable, especially with her increasing interest in her study after she had recovered. Coincidentally, there was an on-going inter-school Story Telling competition at that time. I picked the little girl and trained her to take part in the competition. I wrote the story for her, and she was so happy with being given the opportunity to compete that she memorized my whole story in two days. “Teacher, I have grown to love the story very much,” she told me with a wide smile. It was not enough to let her just practise telling the story in the class. She would not win. So, during every English lesson I brought the whole class into the school hall, which was also part of the school canteen. I taught her all about intonation, grimaces, body postures and hand actions, as she climbed nervously on to the stage to deliver her story. Her classmates cheered, clapped and laughed below the stage. “Come on, don’t be scared. It’s beautiful. Well done. Let’s win the trophy!”
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She eventually overcame her stage fright having been exposed to a real live public appearance! I was upbeat. The principal and vice principal were excited. The children enjoyed themselves well and learnt a lot about story telling, the oral exposition of the English language. Almost all of the parents were from Chinese dialect speaking backgrounds and so no one really expected the girl to win. As she was also from the ‘B’ Class, everyone opined that a Primary Five, ‘A’ Class girl would stand a better chance to win an award. Some could not understand why I picked and trained such a puny girl who was at one time full of sores. A month later, the big day arrived. In the competition, she won the challenge trophy. Teachers and friends openly wondered aloud. “She must have won because of her small, tiny size. Small in built, but big in heart and speech delivery!” The principal promptly walked into our class to congratulate us, thanking all the students and me for bringing glory to the name of the school. “You have all done well. You have done the school proud. Keep up the spirit of Loke Yang. Keep it up!”
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Why I Choose to Teach
Teaching is a very inspiring vocation. Teaching is not just dishing out instructions on how to score high marks in examinations. The teacher instills character into the students and their family members. Education includes creating and strengthening bonds of friendship among students, teachers and parents. Social interpersonal skills must be imparted to them. Harmony and joy in the heart is what we aspire to raise in a good education system. As the children clapped and cheered during the training sessions for the competition, they all felt they were a part of the whole team. They had a feel of what team spirit was all about. They felt that they all had won, and it was not just one person winning. The trophy now belonged to the whole class. It was publicly displayed in the school showcase where all other works of the students were also given recognition, so enhancing public appreciation. The parents brought rambutans and rice dumplings into the school and presented them to the class and the class teacher. It built better community spirit. The bonds were informal, straight forward and simple. We could sense their blessed presence in the air. For me, I was impressed. Until today, I deeply feel, “I have been so touched that I would say I do not need to find any
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further reasons to convince myself to continue teaching as my career.” The successes in helping to produce high grades in the examinations are impressive, but when I see such spontaneous social bonds, the genuine kindness and love amongst the school community and in the education system, I feel very proud and confident that we can achieve and pursue what is possible in the ideal educated mind. Teaching is meaningful. It is indeed beautiful. While the children call out, “Teacher, teacher I love you”, I would like to add and encourage everyone earnestly: Be a true leader, be a teacher!
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Why I Choose to Teach
Poem by a class of primary pupils:
A smile A word of encouragement A touch from your heart within. Grateful for your teaching We will remember you And the wisdom seen.
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Chapter 5
Adult Education: Blue-collar Workers and Shopkeepers
I
have taught English to many blue-collar workers as well as owners of retail shops. Many of them are held back in their work advancement because of their poor knowledge of the English Language. They could not read the English papers or send an email and are always shy to speak the language in public. Usually, their faces will light up only when they speak in Mandarin or other Chinese dialects. I use to comfort them, “Bu yao jing, wo men jiang hua yu.” “It doesn’t matter, let’s speak Chinese”. Their furrowed eye-brows would then smoothen and they would feel more at home with me.
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Adult Education: Blue –collar Workers and Shop keepers
Adult learners of the English Language are “fighters” or “survivors”. Although they are already in their thirties or forties, they will still strive hard to learn a language so foreign to them. They understand that they must not “lose out” to others, and the only way forward is to upgrade. Speaking and writing proper English is a valuable asset in Singapore and in many other parts of the world. If we want to move forward in our work environment, it is better to acquire such a language skill. Often in my lessons to them, I begin by giving them a quote. After they have read the quote, I translate it into Chinese. Instantly, the beauty and depth of the English Language makes a deep and lasting impression on their minds. We must be bold and at the same time be polite to ask; we must persevere if we want to succeed and achieve something in life. Learning a new language can open new doors for us.
“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” …
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By Nora Roberts Adults usually do not like to be told what to do by a teacher. Teaching adults is different from teaching children. Adults have developed mindsets, a strongly fixed frame of mind which is difficult to influence and change. The teacher needs to consult them as to what they prefer to do or to study. In their learning of English, the first complaint is always that the Grammar of the English Language is very confusing. A blue-collar worker asked, “Why do you use I am and not I is? Why do you use you are and not you is? If I were to say, ‘He was a man’ it appears that the man is already dead. Why do you English speaking people consider him “dead”, that I am using grammatically incorrect English? What I mean is that he was a man, and now he has reincarnated and has become a woman!” Some cultural mindsets are frequently counterproductive in the learning of a new language. I put the blue-collar worker at ease by joking with him. “Yes, I understand your difficulties. I know also that you do not mean to say that the man has a sex-change operation and has changed himself into a woman!”
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Adult Education: Blue –collar Workers and Shop keepers
Harder examples which they faced are Verbs of Perception. Xiao Feng, who was a lady shop-keeper, just could not accept why we write, “The policeman saw the thief climb over the wall”. She insisted that it is more logical to write, “The policeman saw the thief climbed over the wall”! The word, ‘would’ was also a very confusing word to her. Why do you say, “Would you like to have a cup of tea?” and not “Will you like to have a cup of tea?” Would is the past tense of will… and one really need to have patience to explain the nuances of the English Language to them. Other adult learners of the English Language would even like to know why “choir” is pronounced as “kwa-er” and not “choy”, and “unique” is pronounced as “u-nic” and not “u-ne-q”! I am unflustered and quite amused by such questions as they occur quite often in every class lesson. Children will seldom ask them, but adults love to question such matters! I like to tell them, “That is why when I first started off with the lessons, I began by giving all of you a quote. If you don’t step forward, you will always remain in the same place. We must step a little out of one
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mindset and enter into another, when we want to learn a new language. We can call it, the renewal of the mind! It is also very encouraging that you are all asking so many questions. If you do not ask, the answer is always no. I once taught a 48 year-old business woman, Madam Kua. She owned a stationary shop. Her business in the shop was declining day by day. She lamented that life was getting tougher and tougher. She said, “Soon, I would not be able to feed my children with the earnings I have collected from my shop.” “But your children are growing up; you need not worry about them, right? They can look after themselves by the time you reached 55, can’t they?” “That’s not the point. What I am feeling is that my shop is getting obsolete and I am getting useless day by day. I can no longer contribute as much as when I was younger…” “That’s a mid-life crisis!” I laughed, teasing her. “Perhaps, perhaps, and I don’t want to see myself in a crisis. That’s why I want to learn “English” from you. I hope to be able to converse with more customers to keep myself young; to correspond with my overseas
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Adult Education: Blue –collar Workers and Shop keepers
suppliers in English to keep myself in business. More importantly, I want to get to know your “type of thinking”! Madam Kua really needed some counselling in addition to my teaching. She might drop out of my English course and give up, if I had not done something about it. Then, I would have one less student in my class! I related to her the story of The Leaking Pail. There was a farmer in Thailand who fetched a pail of water everyday from the river, and brought it home for his wife and children. He was happy and he felt himself dutifully, and usefully, taking good care of his family. As the years gone by, his metal pail became rusty and the water leaked slowly one drop at a time on to the ground. He was left with three-quarter of a pail when he reached home. Soon, the leakage increased. He was left with half a pail of water! The farmer felt that he was becoming less and less useful to his family. Although his wife and children
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had never complained, the farmer considered himself to be less and less caring. He was very troubled in his heart. “I will soon become useless!” “That’s exactly what I am experiencing! What happened next?” the business woman which was in Madam Kua, asked excitedly. “Well, Madam Kua, the answer is in you,” I said blandly with a smile. “What do you mean, Sir?” Very well, as the water dripped drop by drop, and day by day, the ground on which the farmer had walked over was watered everyday. Seeds began to grow and flowers bloomed. When he became conscious of the life that had sprouted and the crops that had grown up, he also realized that it was the same as the work he was doing in his farm all his life. However, he was no longer just growing crops to feed his family, he was also involved in the process of helping all the luxuriant plants and flowers to grow all along the path he had travelled. He had added beauty to the world benefiting many others.
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The 48 year-old Madam smiled serenely and felt very relaxed. She had understood a little more clearly what a fulfilling life was all about. For myself, I felt joyful too, to have helped her overcome her mid-life crisis. I had again taught another valuable lesson as an English language teacher. The power of a language delivered in a story can touch the heart and open up minds that are closed. Teaching conducted meaningfully brings Joy and Glory into Life.
Life is precious and there is Joy and Glory in it. The glory in a human life can be so magnificent that it can extend beyond the present, and enter into Eternity. That is, if you can accept it! We shouldn’t at any time feel ourselves getting already “old”, becoming less and less useful each passing day. By the author, Harris Ng
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PART II The Home Tutor
“You may have been a teacher to him for one day, But you have become a father to him for life!� A Chinese saying, on the awesome respect for a true Teacher, the great Master
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Chapter 6
Teaching Children from Wealthy Homes
A
ll parents love their children and want to give them the best. Wealthy parents are generally more anxious about their children’s education than parents who are poorer. Their expectations of them are high, and they will go to all extent to ensure that their children will do well, very well indeed. Weenie came from a family of jewellers. She was blessed with a very fair complexion with no pimples whatsoever. Instead, there was a pair of lovely dimples placed beautifully on her round chubby face. Her hair was short, simply cropped, and was always held neatly together in a pink hair band, perhaps to prevent the strong wind from ruffling it. Weenie had gone through the storm!
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Her favourite companion was her brownish white, shaggy hair dog which greeted her faithfully whenever she arrived back home from school. Her other companions were the golden carps that swirled gracefully through and around the landscape rocks in her garden pond. Sometimes when it rained heavily, a carp would jump out of the over-flowing pond, and Weenie would stare longingly and sadly at the dead fish when she discovered it. Weenie confided to me, “Life could be difficult at times; it despises our riches…” Her mother was the owner of a huge jewellery company, designing and selling gold and silver pieces, including diamonds and other sparkling precious stones. In her bungalow were a swimming pool, a Rolls Royce, a Jaguar and two Mercedes. I used to wonder why she has not got a BMW, and Weenie laughed, “Do we have time enough to ride in all of them? I got to find time to study too!” Then, Weenie would slipped gently into her swimming pool in her bright flowery swimsuit side by side together with her dog, whose name I have forgotten… but I think it was called “Lucky”. Weenie’s mother and father had a strong belief in Luck! All business people do believe in a certain amount of luck.
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Teaching Children from Wealthy Homes
Weenie’s mother had tried sending her daughter to the best of tuition centres but her grades did not improve. She had tried engaging different private home tutors, but again there was no improvement because the tutors gave up after a month or two. Weenie failed all her subjects except English, in her Primary 5 third term examination. Have you not noticed that her English is good? She commented, “Sometimes, Life despises riches.” Now, that is a profound statement from such a young girl! Her mother was desperate. She knew that her daughter need to do well to be promoted to Primary 6; and then, even better in Primary 6 in order to go on to a good secondary school. She phoned me asking whether I could help. I was a little reluctant as I always had an extremely tight schedule in my teaching time-table near the end of the year. As a mental health advocate, I had also had a lot of work to prepare, to spearhead the mental health consumer movement. “I want my daughter to go into a good secondary school. Mr Ng, can you please come and teach her? I know the parents of your student, James. James’ parents have highly recommended you as a very
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cheerful and patient teacher who truly believes in producing results. My daughter, Weenie, is intelligent but she is extremely stubborn. She simply refuses to study. I have tried providing her with highly qualified tuition teachers, the best of clothes and all the toys and games which she likes most. It did not work. As a last resort, I even cane her, but she becomes even more rebellious. She hides her textbooks and school homework, copies the answers blindly from the back of the assessment books, and simply writes, “1, 2, 3, 4” and then “1, 2, 3, 4” when she answers her multiplechoice questions.” I knew she was very troubled, so I asked meekly and softly, “Have you tried praying for her?” “Yes, I have been to many temples, many times, but it does not work!” “What I mean is… lead her to pray by herself…” “I do not know how to do it. I know you are a Christian. I do not mind you praying for her. As long as she does well in the examinations, I am willing to try whatever means. Can you kindly come and help?”
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“Give me time to consider… my schedule is very tight.” As I could not reject her, I could only mumble in a muffled voice. I am usually an obliging man! “Please help, it does not matter how much you charge for the tuition fee, I just want you to help her.” I quoted her a reasonable price. She answered immediately, “That’s a very moderate fee. You are a really sincere man. I am glad you are willing to teach my daughter, I will give you $100 more on top of what you have quoted!” I had often feared teaching failures. But I understand the “plight” in the inner heart of the parents! However, there is something better, which is more like a true teacher… for at the same time, I “liked” the challenge of teaching and helping them. If a failing student happens to pass by 5 marks, both the student and the parents will jump with joy. On the other hand, if a good student were to get even as high a grade as 75 marks, his parents would still not be happy. They want 91 and above. It’s called the A STAR grade! Of course, I have produced the A STAR grade in my students, or else, how could I have taught students in the gifted stream! But, it requires a lot of hard work on
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the part of the student and parents too. It takes two hands to clap, doesn’t it? “Mrs. Lee, I am willing to teach your daughter, but on one condition: that your daughter must freely and willingly accept me as her teacher. I will come and meet her next Monday. I will just talk to her to see whether she accepts me. If she does, I will take up the challenge to teach her. If not, I am sorry you will have to find someone else, someone she likes.” When I met Weenie at her home, the eleven year old child was completely silent. She looked down and did not lift up her face. She avoided talking to me by answering my questions in mono-syllables. After about 10 minutes, I told her that it was okay to fail and I gave her a quote from Winston Churchill, the Prime Minister of Great Britain. “Success is not final Failure is not fatal It is the Courage to continue that counts.” She remained orally unresponsive, but was listening. Perhaps, I thought, it was the first time in her life that a teacher had told her it was okay to fail. Following
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that -- noticing that she was listening -- I next told her my personal story. “Do you know that I failed Primary 5 too? I was sent from Primary 5A to Primary 6B. It was the last class in my tiny primary school. Nothing I could do about it… I did not take the final examination.” “Why did you refuse to take the tests?” “Weenie, I couldn’t. I had an asthma attack. Anyway, I failed. I felt so horrible!” I paused, and waited, but Weenie kept mum. “Then, a year later, I entered into the top school in Singapore. It was Raffles Institution!” “Failure is not fatal. I studied hard and score full marks, 100 out of 100 in Mathematics, in my school final. It was the Primary 6 Preliminary Examination. It made me feel good.” “Teacher, how did you do it?” Weenie had opened up a little but on the whole, she still remained silent.
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Teaching Children from Wealthy Homes
“Weenie, in the first class test at Raffles, it was an English Test. You know, you guess what, three quarters of the class failed. Weenie, you are better than all of us, you have never failed an English Test before. Your mother told me that! It’s amazing. Just imagine that!” “Teacher, my mother likes to keep repeating that I have never passed my mathematics since Primary 3. She has never mentioned a word that I have always passed my English!” “But, she did tell me. Or else, how would I know?” “My mother whipped me with my father’s leather belt. While I was in Primary 2, she sent me standing at the outside of our door and refused to let me come into the house. She will never say a good word about me. I don’t believe you!” “You mean you do not believe that I was a RI boy, or that you do not believe that I was a failure?” “I believe you. But I will never pass my maths. I fear and hate the subject!”
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“Do you like me to be your teacher? Give me 4 to 5 months. We can try, but you must co-operate with me and believe in me.” Weenie nodded her head slowly, reconciled. On my part, I accepted that she has finally come to accept me as her teacher. Perhaps she had the good feeling, “Finally, here is someone who is willing to stand by my side.” I became her home tutor for more than a year, until she has completed her primary school education. That was another tiny silent prayer in my heart having got answered. I sometimes think, rightly or wrongly, I could do it only because of the strength coming from God. The job was not easy. Her mother served me hotel-made cakes, bird nest soup and branded chocolates bought from Switzerland. She also gave me a cane to punish Weenie if she refused to do her work, but I HAD NEVER USED IT ON HER. You can’t cane a sweet looking girl, can you? I made it a point to counsel her for 5 to 7 minutes before I begin each lesson. I also made it a practice to tell her a story 10 to 12 minutes before each lesson would end. Sometimes, I wrote out my stories. The
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little girl loved watching me write, and was very eager waiting to read what I had written. She soon became comfortable sitting still, keeping silent, and watch me write. I became her role-model of concentration in writing and in study. She had never before seen someone so engrossed and focused in his silent work. She had learnt to value purposeful learning, and seemed to truly enjoy study, writing, and story-telling, as much as I do. Weenie graduated from primary school and was promoted to the Express Stream in a secondary school. She was put in charge of the school library as a librarian. She truly enjoyed reading and writing. Most importantly, she had stopped cursing and swearing, and hurling vulgar words at others. She had got back the forgiving soul in her. Years later, when she was in her Junior College, she emailed me. “I no longer pull and tear at my hair in frustration while I study. I hope to go to university, to graduate in a business course and then help my mother in her jewellery business. She stopped caning me after you had started teaching me. I still pray for her quietly in my heart every now and then. Teacher, I have much to thank you for what I am today. Say a little prayer for me again.� 56
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Lesson Learnt: We have got to understand the family relationship why there is Mis-understood Love, and what love exactly is. Personally, I strongly believe children should be taught the social, moral and spiritual values when they are still young and malleable. We are not brainwashing them, we are just trying to prevent our children from straying into “vices” when they grow up. Children need to have moral grounding and guidance. Too many teenagers are now confused. For example, they wonder whether sex before marriage is correct, sex before 14 is correct, or even paid sex on demand, as in prostitution, is correct or wrong…
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Chapter 7
Teaching the ‘A’ Class Students
‘A’
Class students are the most stressed as compared to the ‘B’ Class students. It is a popular myth that because these students are in the top class, they are the happiest and most relaxed. In fact, they are students with the most worries. Such students are constantly under internalized pressure to keep up with the lofty and stringent expectations of their parents and teachers. Teachers piled them with lots of homework and CCAs (Co-Curricular Activities). They are expected to be allrounders, award winners and leadership position holders. Ginny is a Secondary Four student in a reputable school. She is a successful student counsellor and a
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member of the National Police Cadet Corps in her school. During her younger days she was trained in ballet dancing. Hence she has a trim, fit and beautiful body. She speaks with much self-confidence, but sometimes, she displays a slanted jovial attitude of complaints and mockery. I have come to know her for a long time. I have been her tuition teacher since she was in Primary 3. Because of this, she likes to share her feelings and thoughts with me every now and then. She A’s in most of her school subjects, a bright student, I am quite sure. “S***, life is boring. It’s study, study, and more study. Homework, homework, and even more homework; CCA, CCA and extra CCAs; I’m going to die studying. I just can’t cope with the huge amount of work. My father reminded me again and again not to give up half way, even when put under extreme pressure. Do you know that I work longer hours than him, than all the office workers? They work from 8.30 am to 6.30 pm and after that, they can call it quit, and have beer sessions. As for me, I have to wake up at 5.55 am, reached school at 7.15, and by the time I am released from school and arrived back home, it is already 4.15 pm. Usually, with all the CCAs, I am required to
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stay back for activities until 6.15 pm, especially when we are asked to prepare ourselves for competitions or performances. That’s a total of twelve continuous hours!” “That’s a very demanding schedule, I agree.” “On top of that, while my mother relaxes and watches television on the sofa, I have to force myself to do and complete my homework from 8.00 pm to 11.00 pm or else I will not be among the top of my cohort.” I nodded slowly and smiled. “I can see and recognise that there need to be a change in the system and not a change in you…” “The education system s*** – we are the top students, yet we are mostly troubled and stressed on the inside. We do not even have our own private lives. My... we’re always bombarded with upcoming tests and examinations. My Saturdays and Sundays are blown. We are expected to spend time during the weekends to brush up and prepare ourselves for the never-ending class tests. The system requires us to study eight subjects, and there are at least six tests a month! They reason
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that one test per subject per month is not much, but they are blind to the total number of tests and subjects. Every week is a testing week. We have become robots with a computerised mind!” “Ginny, I am sorry. That’s demoralising indeed. However, what you have said is completely true. It is vulnerable to speak the truth. Singapore believes only in meritocracy and competition among our own selves. We have got to compete in order to survive and ‘progress’. There is no other way. That is our assigned golden principle and guideline in life.” “Mr Ng, can’t we even speak out? Compete? Compete with whom, with my own classmates and fellow citizens? A principle made of gold?” I felt extreme shame in front of the young youthful girl. I tried to explain myself more clearly to her. “WE are in no position to change the education system. It is probably designed by a whole team of scholars. Their point is that our education system is highly successful for we have produced the best students in the world. Other countries are sending their experts to our land to learn from us how we can
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manage to send top students to all the best universities all over the world.” “And these students made up the team you have mentioned. They themselves are examples of the success of the system!” Ginny wants to laugh, but could only manage with a wry smile. “Mr Ng, we are the top, we are ‘A’ Class students, but do you know we don’t really enjoy our study and our schooling years? Yes, we all work hard and produce the results. We simply do that because it is expected of us to be successful. Everyone has that expectation of us, especially the ingrained system. We know that. We do feel we have an obligation to do well, but honestly, we do not study for the love of it. We want to graduate as fast as we could so that we can get out of the system!” “Ginny, the argument by many highly qualified and well-respected authorities is this: But we have succeeded, we have succeeded in producing top students recognised throughout the world. There isn’t a need to change. These students are in great demand, everybody wants them. We are the best. In Japan and
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China, the students are even more stressed but they are not the best and are not in such great demand!” “Sir, I heard Japan has one of the highest suicide rates. Why can’t we be more gracious and have a less stressful system… like say, in Canada and Australia or the USA?” “Ginny, I totally agree with you. I come in order that I can be of help. I cannot promise you that I will succeed in influencing the system to change, but I can promise you I will continue to try to change it.” “Teacher, you will have to face a whole team of academics. I am glad that you are not one of them, or else you would have the same thinking and you will be in the same team!” “Ginny, we shall overcome. We shall walk together hand in hand…” “That’s the reason why my mother asks you to come and be my home tutor. She hopes you can impart better values in my life and show me how to cope, and reduce my stress level. She doesn’t want her daughter to have a mental breakdown! You know what I mean… you are a
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recognised authority and advocate in good mental heath.” Ginny laughs aloud and begins to joke a little. She is able to hold back her tears – tears not in her eyes but hidden deep down inside her soft heart. She has been highly stressed. “Ginny, meanwhile, I will teach you to make memory cards, keep short notes, do mind-mapping, study ahead of time, be prepared for examinations well in advance to beat the system, to allot time for leisure and recreation, to have time-out, and to be less tense. “Teacher, you…you do understand students well. Am I a lousy student?”
your
“Your mother thinks you are a good student and so do I. Understanding the student is not good enough, we must also understand the system well. Then only are we willing to create attempts at changing the system, to create a better and more conducive one.” “Teacher, meanwhile, while waiting for the system to change, what can I do?” “Meanwhile, we will try to change mindsets, and the mindset of some academics is hard to change. You can
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also avoid studying for long hours deep into the middle of the night, avoid last minute studypreparations, and learn and recognise true CORE VALUES IN LIFE. You have been totally motivated and it has been drummed into most of you to set high goals. However, you need to understand that there are three types of goals: Self-centered goals, Communitycentered or Others-centered goals, and God-centered goals. You must find a balance in the three types of motivations or goals.” “Teacher, I know some of them, but can it be done? We have a very strict secular system which encourages and requires us to be secular in many school and community-organized activities. Some people think it is wrong to teach God-centered goals. Also, many people seem to think we need to be politically correct…before we can express an opinion.” Again, deep down, I feel a sense of shame… I haven’t been effective in conveying the spiritual message of love and compassion and grace. “Perhaps, we need to cut down on CCAs; we need to build a society with social grace, placing lesser emphasis on competition and meritocracy. CCAs
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should be meant for our enjoyment with the goal to enhance or spread the love for one another and for the community, don’t you think so? It should not be fearfully graded and made into activities to score examination entry points. I believe greater emphasis on the spiritual side of life and less emphasis on the economic life will do a lot of good to advance the mindsets of the people. For example, we must not believe we are only an economic animal, for we are actually spiritual beings. We should help each other more than we go all out to compete with each other. Don’t ever believe we are a political lion, for we should aspire to become a people of care with brotherliness, families of love with peace; teachers with a sense of a clear destination with true meaning, and not heads of digital systems with rigidly set targets and computerized goals --- that bear very little relation to the goodness of a flesh thumbing and living heart.”” “Teacher, that would be high sounding to them, they won’t understand… some people do genuinely think it is not appropriate to teach spiritual values in a secular society. They are highly fearful that by doing that, it will create serious fault lines.”
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“What I am saying, for example, is that political “academics” are no idols of the common people, although the system likes them the most. Furthermore, they are often very good at setting self-centered goals, but the common folks could hardly ever truly identify themselves with their thinking and feelings. Some have no deep insight into community-centered goals, and they have even less understanding or knowledge of God-centered goals. Such a team may sincerely believe that, I am what I am solely because of my own battle and hard work. The people however, feel they can still survive today, and day by day, mainly because of the blessings of God and of the special and kind people they have met. “Teacher, it is vulnerable to speak out openly or to tell the truth. The truth often hurts a lot of people. You are now speaking our minds, but aren’t you fearful in speaking out? Aren’t you afraid? You may be questioned: Are your views evidence based?” “Yes, I’m fearful.” I pulled back startled and then managed to smile solemnly. “However, ask ourselves not what role we will play, but who am I? What is my final destination and do I have one? What are my Core
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Values?” At that moment, I felt a little cornered and uneasy too. Ginny burst into laughter. “Then, at least I won’t be led to Doom, my Doomsday! It could be your Doomsday!” Ginny started to tease me. “Ginny, we teachers are taught how to build a powerful economic system and a highly respectable and productive machine-like economy…” “But, Teacher, we are not taught what our core values are, and what glory is there in a human life of flesh and blood --- and spirit --- we are not just a conglomeration of biological cells!” “Most students are motivated to look ultimately for a high salary by reaching out to special structurally designed academic degrees. Few of us bother to ponder what direction all these will lead us. Still even smaller is the number of people who will find time to consider: Is there a final destination in our pursuit of excellence? Where does it lead us? For some, they are totally unable to think along such a line. It’s kind of a pathetic!” “Some CEOs are getting fatter and fatter salaries. The ordinary people are being convinced by the “world”
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system that it is alright to be given a low, miserly, unsustainable pay. At the same time, things are getting more and more costly, all over the world. Inflation is climbing up rapidly. The people cannot afford to pay their household bills. It’s mysterious. What a world system? It’s strange how people can still accept all that! We got to design and build a better national system, after having learnt from the failures of the “world system”. “Yes, Ginny, you are right. We all want to be super rich. With lots of money, we feel great. We feel we can do whatever we want and we feel that, that itself is a sense of real achievement. Am I right to say that?” “Now, now, Teacher, it appears like it’s my turn to console you. Just be comfortable in the way you are, just accept the system. The poor have always been there! We cannot do anything about it. Just accept. Or, do you prefer a worldwide revolution?” “That’s a shocking question to many. Nevertheless, I want something to be done about it.” “Is it a change of the inner mindset?”
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“Yes, a silent revolution in the Educated Mind, in the minds of all true teachers – I will write a book on that!” “Teacher, you had mentioned that before. Are you serious about that? Are you not fearful to write? You said there are Three Minds: the Mental Mind, the Spiritual Mind and the Educated Mind.” “It’s the Educated Mind that I wish to change.” “But how, how can we make it happen, Sir?” “We need a change in the system. Remember, you have just said, the world system s***! We are fully aware that only a few people want to work solely for the welfare of the people, to serve society in a ‘lower income capacity’. We were told that it is hard to get people working as ministers. Perhaps people prefer to be CEOs, I’m not sure...” “I personally feel sad for the nation. Such a mindset does not augur well for a great sparkling nation. It will be hard to produce great national leaders. Perhaps, deep down inside some hearts, the real feeling is: Respectability is measured only by our earning power. But, nevertheless, I hope such people are the
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exceptions to the rule; there are still many men of strength and integrity in our midst, willing to stand up truly for the welfare of the people --- rising to the Call of good nation-building. That I think is the goal of a good education system. Ginny is amused by the Logic propounded, and was also comforted by the Hope projected. Some nations will rise up higher than others. “Let’s not have a system in which everyone accepts and no one objects. Indeed a system can be highly successful if we are prepared to be a little more open and listen to the voices of the people or our own inner voice. I’m one such voice. Cheers and Good luck!” I, myself, now feel comforted… Ginny now laughs freely for she is now able to let go. She has now got a good understanding of the System and she knows where she stands in our complex society. However, she does not know the “role” she will play in the future of our nation. Would she also aspire to be a CEO, with a top CEO-income? Or would she truly serve the people out of love and concern, and build a more gracious society which is focused on love and care? As a ‘A’ Class student, she has the potential to be part of the future leadership, but where will she be leading us? Is it to a higher pay for herself, a bigger
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house, more expensive branded cars, and grander club memberships, all for herself and her team? The 5C’s, career, credit cards, cars, condominiums and club memberships are all “values” based on personal advancement. They are all self-centered values closely aligned to our self-centered goals taught in our education system. Such values obviously are not the Core Values set in a Life with meaning and love.
Lesson Learnt We need to stop mid-way through our path in life, to ponder and to reflect. The question is, “Have we played a part in creating a system which is too overdemanding, somewhat selfish and perhaps in some ways unfair – a system that appears very fair to ourselves and our team but not so fair to others --- a system that definitely rewards and encourages the rich and capable but, we got to admit, it somehow penalizes the weak, poor and needy? We sometimes labelled them the “Lazy”! Should the needy and disadvantaged, the “Lazy”, be given “scholarships”? I think they should be given.
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Have we thought of the 6 C’s instead of the 5 C’s? The six positive Core Values are: Care, Courage, Compassion, Commitment, Confidence and Competence. We all have a choice: to choose our own answers to the questions, to choose to answer or not to answer. For me personally, I choose to ask, for the simple reason that I think the answers are deeply important. Hmm…it may be impolite for me to answer directly… and then make myself vulnerable... My Hope is to sincerely educate, appeal nicely, and to teach --- teaching not just the academic head knowledge subjects, but to be a true Teacher; and, if you may allow me to say, just as what my students clamor so cheerfully, “Teacher, Teacher, I love You!”
Be a True Teacher!
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Chapter 8
Teachers’ Dilemma
S
tudents are often taught only to develop their ability to express themselves precisely, clearly and creatively. Character building and insightful reflection are seldom emphasised as there is no time left available in the school syllabus for such endeavours. In retrospect, we must understand that attaining knowledge is only one very small part of a meaningful education. Students frequently complain that school life is boring mainly because teachers usually focus only on attainment of knowledge, and often such knowledge are passed down in a dry manner without much life – without humour and compassion. They are all nothing but bullet-points notes.
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To add life to my teaching, I create quizzes to tickle the insides of my students. A student from China was posed these questions to make him laugh as he thinks and learn.
Quizzz (1) “Zhong Ren, you are sent by your father from China to Singapore to study here. Your mother accompanies you here and looks after you everyday. You have improved from failing most of the subjects to passing all of them, and you are now promoted to a secondary school. Zhong Ren, if you were to meet your father back in China tomorrow, what would be the first words you say to him?” Zhong Ren laughed aloud. “You are a clever teacher. I know what answers you want from me. Okay, I will tell my father that I have a very good teacher helping me in Singapore, and that teacher is you, Mr Harris Ng!” I laughed along with him, and Zhong Ren no longer found the lesson boring.
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Quizzz (2) Zhong Ren, just like all good students, you must have a very touching story deep in your heart… “Yes, Teacher, I have.” “Would you like to tell me?” Zhong Ren quieted down, looked earnestly at me and began his story. I went back to China six months ago last year during the school holiday. My result was not up to my father’s expectation. My father pulled a chair close and sat me down. He counselled, “Son, do you know why I have sent you to Singapore to study?” I was expecting some strong words from him, but he was not angry. I kept very silent and waited. “Son, I want you to have a better environment to study, but you have not appreciated it. I want you to grow up to have a better life, but you are not able to visualise it. I do have enough money to see you through the rest of your life to your old age. Why do you think I still work so hard even though I am aging?”
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I had not expected such a surprised question. My mouth hung open in anticipation, waiting for him to continue speaking. “Well, I’m working not for myself now. I’m working for you. Money is difficult to earn and the money I am earning is meant actually for you, for your education in Singapore!” I was very touched by his words. “Daddy, I understand. I will work hard from now onwards.” I almost shed tears. This was a story that a Secondary One student had told me. I was glad that I had Zhong Ren as my student. He had matured. He had told a very simple and true story. “Oh Teacher, can you now tell me another story. It’s your turn to share!” “We have to complete our studies first. I will give one to you after that.” Zhong Ren quickly completed the assignment I had given him. He was eagerly waiting for some meaningful or funny quizzes from me. I had succeeded in motivating him to work! 77
Teachers’ Dilemma
Quizzz (3) “Okay, you are born through your mother and father. You have grown up and now you are a good looking and hard-working secondary school student. Let me ask you, if, only if you were not born, would you think that it is a loss to the society or to the world?” “Hahaha, I have heard that many times in China. The answer is simple. There is definitely no loss to the world. I am only a student, and I am only one unit out of the billions of people in the world, especially in China.” “That’s very sad…” “So, as a teacher, again what is your answer? What would you want to teach me today?” “You are not only born through your mother and father. You are actually a creation of God. He created you through your mother and father. You are unique and special, the only one of its kind in the world. A life itself is precious and has great value for it can do wonders in the present as well as to the future. There is a purpose and direction for your coming into this world: for you are created with the potential to reach into the FUTURE, to go into the beyond. You have also
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been created to have a free choice, to choose the road you want to travel, the direction you would like to take. Eventually, finally, you will choose to return home to God, in peace, joy and glory!” “Teacher, that sounds very glorifying. I have never heard of that in the schools in China. Yes, in a way, I must not think of myself as a person of little or no value. I am important in this world; I am not just a speck of dust in an ocean of people. I think I understand your message, and you are not proselytizing.” Teachers should be able to impart not only academic subject knowledge, but also core values to their students. They should be able to inspire Joy, as well as being able to command the respect of their students, leading them quietly into a life of reflection, developing a reflective educated mind. Teachers must not live in the air, floating unrealistically in the sky from one point to another. They need to be a real person; one filled with sincere love and care, often with his feet planted firmly on the ground. Now give a thought to the following pointers:
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Please move on to the next chapter and ponder over them…
Making A Difference “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in an ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” … Mother Teresa Roman Catholic Missionary
Lesson learnt Create a pro-active system of trust and magnanimity --- one with humility, and also with a future. Do not create a system that has no future! Please pause, and ponder silently over that…
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Chapter 9
Pointers for More Effective Teaching
(1)
Don’t emphasise too much on punishments in the teaching of children. If a student does not do his homework, the first thought in the teacher’s mind should not be punishment. Learning through the FEAR FACTOR isn’t very inspiring, for there is not much love in it. (2) Send your troubled student to a counsellor so that the counsellor can firstly, find out what is happening in his family and secondly, who are the friends the troubled student is mixing around with. As a teacher, if you have the time, you can play the role of the counsellor too. (3) Create inspiring stories and tell the students whenever the opportunity arises. Story-telling is a
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powerful tool in teaching. It is better than constant nagging and scolding, which is a prevalent trend in homes where parents try to teach their own children after they come home from a tiring day of hard work. (4) Reward your students by giving them intelligent gifts, such as story books or bookmarks with beautiful verses on them. Certificates or letters of appreciation and recognition, printed by the teacher himself, will be good for the students’ future. For myself, I write stories or letters and distribute them to the children. Such a method communicates personal care and attention and has a humane personal touch of love. (5) Some students need one-to-one attention, while others do not. As teachers, we may not be able to give individual attention to many of our students. In that case, I suggest to their parents to look for a home tutor if they can afford it. Alternatively, ask openly in the class, “Who is your best friend?� If the troubled student points to a student, and if this one student is fairly good in her studies, ask her if she would like to help and coach her friend. The problem of appointing top students to teach weak students is that most top students can only study on their own, they cannot teach! They are generally impatient with the weaker students. An average student however, will not only
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be willing to help a friend, she will also improve by leaps and bounds when she takes up coaching. (6) The guiding principle, “Teach less, to learn more� is in practice, difficult to implement. It is not practical, for it is too idealistic. We teachers need to have our feet planted firmly on the ground. Teachers should teach all we know and give as close guidance as it is possible, especially to the weak and troubled students. Do not leave the boys and girls to fend alone by themselves; we teachers have the responsibility and duty to teach and impart good values and habits. (7) Teachers normally command a special respect that cannot be found among the family members in the home. For example, it is normal for parents to give food to their children everyday. However, if a teacher buys a meal for a student, even once a year, it will have a very special impact on the child. Teachers need to sometimes go beyond mere verbal teaching by instructions to teaching by true, direct, kind and purposeful actions. (8) It is important for a teacher to know what a particular student likes, what the child is thinking and what he is passionate about. Some students love reading, others like drawing or sculpturing, and still
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others, they have a love for sports or physical constructive activities. Of course, some students love only to play and laze around! Not all people are academically inclined. When we spot what the child is passionate about, we can then guide and build him up in that direction. Many grow up to be nurses, actors, hair-stylists, chefs or even pilots, drivers, machine operators or technicians. We must not demand everybody to have straight A’s in all the academic subjects taught in the schools. More scholarships should be given out to all these people with expertise. Recognise people with special skills and talents, such as in cooking, farming, sports, music, dance, drama, construction, design and technology. (9) Look for positive assets in each student. Look for one thing positive in each of them daily, and highlight it in front of everyone. In this way, students will look forward to attending their lessons. (10) When a child fails, I personally feel we have all failed: Me, as her tuition teacher; the school teacher; the parents and the child herself. WE got to admit we have failed. We all failed. Nevertheless, we must not
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give up; we need to stand up, and try again to help the child to pass and succeed. (11) If a child fails again and again in her examinations, we will then need to ask, “Has the system also failed?” We tend to say the system has produced many top students, but what about the failures? Has the system done anything to help them to succeed? And, what is the definition of the word, “SUCCESS” in the system? Is it to score straight A’s? If it be so, then I think many of us would be classified as unsuccessful in life. “I am a success, and my friend is a consistent failure!” In such a case, is it a successful system? We are teachers after all. We need to seriously and quietly ponder over that… especially when we are failing our students! We need to create wealth-building opportunities for the under-privileged as well as for the elite… (12) The last pointer is this. A child attending a school motivational talk told me what the motivational speaker had said, “There is no failure in this world! No one is a failure. But Mr Ng, is that true? Everyone in our meritocratic system, including myself, thinks that I
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have failed. The educational system is often cruel. I am classified a failure and I will be assigned to jobs with a miserly pay, barely sufficient to pay for my own daily personal sustenance. My mother says, even if I were to work very hard and do an honest job, I will have no future. I will earn less than $1000 a month. I will live from hand to mouth, there is no chance of me starting a family or supporting a family! She warns that I will be a confirmed failure, or at best a rejected bachelor, if I do not get the straight “A”s or all the Distinctions! No parents would like their own daughter to marry a man with such a low income!” The question I wish to ask is: Can we build a more caring and less competitive, or a fairer, more pleasant and wholesome system?
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in GIVING creates love.” … Lao Tzu Chinese Philosopher
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A closed mind is the greatest prison. … By the Pope
Lesson learnt
Avoid a closed-up system or a closed mind which hinders the progress into a future of glorious Hope: the potential of going into the BRIGHT BEYOND. Systems can only be effectively changed by changing the people who run the system, and people with the right attitude and aptitude are more important than those with only high “academically correct” qualifications.
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PART III
The Mental Wellness Advocate
“W
hen called to help enhance mental wellness, we must come out of our comfort zone. We must have a new mindset: we may need to reassess the usual earthly values in life and lead people outwards into new directions. Competition and Meritocracy which zero inwards towards personal accomplishments pale glaringly in comparison to Love, Hope, Joy, Work and Grace, for such core values point to a greater dimension in meaningful living.�
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Thinking about Meaningful Living: Life is sweet if we include a little WORK into it. But don’t overdo it; we got to take care of our mental health! We got to guard ourselves from becoming a mere slave to our labour, selling our life for the only purpose of having more and more dollar notes or an increasing number of metal coins. Remember, there is something deeper beneath the surface of Life, for our life is sacred: the Divine always meant to do us well. It is prudent to watch our spending or expenditure. Is it excessive --- the reason why we need to slog so hard, setting aside no time for REST, no peace for REFLECTION? By Harris Ng Mental Wellness Advocate
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Chapter 10
Called to “teach” the Mentally Disordered; SAMH
“W
hy is the number of mentally disordered increasing? Is it due to an over-stress in the educated mind? Could the mentally disordered be taught?” This are questions common in the unsettled mind of the public. Generally speaking, the public think that the mentally ill are forever irrational and insane being incapable of looking after themselves and are prone to talking nonsense all the time.
However, this only happens when the mentally incapacitated are in the crisis state or in a state of relapse. On proper medication, psychosis is highly treatable and the recovery rate is good.
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When called to help the mentally ill, we must come out of our comfort zone. We must have a new mindset: we may need to reassess the usual common earthly values in life and lead people outwards into new directions. I was facilitating an Interactive Support Group for the mentally disordered at the Singapore Association for Mental Health, Club 3R, when a newcomer walked into the group. The number of participants was about 35. Said the newcomer, “I don’t find any expert talking to us here --- no psychiatrists or psychologists. We need to have a planned program. Why don’t we have planned lessons and notes given out? Aren’t we repeating the same thing over and over again?” He was a newcomer diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. He had the mindset of a school teacher teaching in a class of secondary school students, or that of a university lecturer giving lecture in a lecture theatre. He wanted a top-down lecture approach of teaching. He wanted a strict orderly structured system. He did not know that such an approach would not work here. Some participants were listless and others had bouts of tiredness due to the side effects of the medication. Often some dozed off during the session and others need to stand, stretch and walk. I told him, “Ours is a
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Support Group. We are not a Therapy Group. Neither are we a Self-Help Group. In a Support Group, the communication is horizontal and not top-down.” Daniel, a consumer also recovering from Bipolar Disorder, who had been with the group for six months, quickly answered the newcomer. “You are new here. Just observe and listen to what we are doing before you give us any suggestions or advice. We are a very happy group and as a result, many of us have recovered. We have regained our self-confidence and self-respect by joining this group. We are no longer robbed of them. Most importantly, we have overcome the stigma, and feel no shame and embarrassment. We are under a steady and experienced leadership. Also, inside the room is Za, our counsellor. You can speak to her if you need private counselling. Another member of the group raised his hand. “Harris, may I talk? I have something important to add.” “Go ahead, Raymond.” “Nelson, you are new here. I have received strong support in my recovery from schizophrenia after
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attending this group. I have now accepted my mental illness and I am comfortable with it. Nelson, may I ask you: If you have a General who have never been to a war, and a soldier who has fought in several wars, who would you want to lead you into the battlefield? Harris has recovered from chronic schizophrenia after more than 15 years of multiple relapses. He has been through the battle and he is now a teacher married with a lovable wife. He has run this group for three years and is an author and a mental health advocate. Do we need a professional to facilitate this group?” Nelson was dumb-founded. He could not answer the two speakers who spoke freely with confidence and knowledge! As the facilitator, I quickly tried to divert and lower the charged emotions of the group. “Nelson, this has been a very successful group. Let me ask you an interesting question to lighten up the atmosphere or mood. Have you ever read Shakespeare? What do you think of the highly intellectual man?” “Well, Shakespeare is highly intelligent and not like one of us!”
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“Hahaha, I think Shakespeare is a silly man!” “You must be mad to say that!” “Well said. People called us mad. But, as a joke, Shakespeare said that Life is a Stage. That is, life is… a movie or a show! How could that be? A movie or a show can be acted and repeated over and over, again and again. We can laugh at the tragedy in a movie or cry with it. But in real life, we suffer together with the victim. We cannot throw aside the duty and responsibility we have towards the sufferer. In a movie, we can just alter the script overnight if we do not like it. In real life we live with the consequences, the ups and downs. Now, now Nelson, don’t you think Shakespeare is silly in making such a statement?” The whole group burst out laughing. Nelson, a very serious and haughty guy, laughed heartily too. “Nelson, I can see you are laughing and enjoying the camaraderie in the group. Let me pose you another question. What do you think of Thomas Edison?” “Well, he is a great persevering man. He tried 1000 times before he invented the light bulb!”
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“Nelson, I think Edison is a silly man too!” This time Nelson kept quiet. He stopped labelling me a mad man. “Nobody would need to repeat a mistake or an experiment 1000 times if he is truly smart. He should be able to get it right after repeating it 10 or 20 times, or even 50 times. It is enough! Nelson, don’t you now think Edison is stupid? If I were him, I could have invented the light bulb in much less a number of repetitive experiments! In comparison with us who live in the present times, people of those days, like Edison, are silly! Don’t you agree?” The whole group again roared and clapped with fun and joy. Nelson too was enjoying himself. Ronald intervened. “Harris, I can see now why your group is so successful in bringing about recovery, and why you do not want a professional psychiatrist to take over. Doctors do not have such humour, and they do not have time for such humour and fun! Furthermore we need to pay them by the minutes!
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Ronald was first diagnosed with depression and later with Bipolar Disorder. He juxtaposed himself between the different hilarious viewpoints. “When I joined this group, I was depressed and fearful. I saw no fun, no joy and no future in my life. Honestly, at first I was reluctant to come. But today, I am working at McDonalds and I make it a point to come here once every two weeks to attend this support group. WE support one another. Harris only facilitates it. He allows us the freedom to speak, thus building back confidence in us. We can express our views or correct the views of one another. WE have overcome the shame, embarrassment and stigma of having the brain disease. We may have a mental disorder but we are not mad.” “Yes, Ronald, we often speak sense, but many cannot see or comprehend the sense that we see and speak. We joke too and we laugh, but others cannot laugh with us. Our Club 3R is a simple and unique club. We serve free lunch even though the world says there is no such a thing as a free lunch! Indeed, we have compassion for one another and for the club.”
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“There is no free lunch in this world… Who says so? I often buy free lunch for the needy whom I know!” By Harris Ng, the author
Lesson learnt Have fun in your life; be able to accept each other. Recovery is to be, “less tense-up at all times” Try escape from any underlying crippling emotional tensions. Avoid the “earthly” hard-hearted logic-thinking that someone still has to pay for our lunch even though the lunch is given free to us. Have a spirit of love and grace. Try to understand what grace is. Accept and practise it.
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Chapter 11
Ambassador for the Institute of Mental Health (IMH)
T
he Institute of Mental Health (IMH) is situated at the Buangkok Green Medical Park. It is a sprawling chalet-like psychiatric centre with miniature fruit gardens planted by the green fingers of the patients. In terms of patient size, IMH is the largest hospital in Singapore. It has a staff of about 1500 and an inpatient registration of about 1900. The aspiration of IMH is to become the mental health medical hub of Asia by the year 2012. Its mission is to spearhead the treatment and recovery of mental illnesses especially in the ASEAN region through its numerous programs. We have about 110 psychiatrists in Singapore and our goal is to increase it to 210.
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While teaching full-time as a private home tutor, I have also involved myself in many other activities. I am a mental health advocate and a writer, having appeared regularly on television and in the press. One interesting area I am working on together with IMH is in its publicity and educational program. My students often ask me, “Teacher, Teacher, what do you do as a mental health advocate?” As an advocate, I grant press and television interviews and give talks at seminars and conferences. I help to lead regular tour groups that come to visit IMH. Through the visitation program, IMH is quickly moving away from its stigmatized image of a lock-up custodial hospital which was what it was in the old days in the demolished Woodbridge Hospital at Jalan Woodbridge in Yio Chu Kang. IMH today, is a centre of care and love in the treatment and support of people with mental health difficulties. Its motto is, “Loving Hearts, Beautiful Minds!” Every month, I will help to lead a couple of tours around IMH. The people from the tours are students, nurses and counsellors, seeking to gain more insight into the set-up of IMH and the work we are doing to promote mental health. How effective we are as a hub is dependent on how effective we manage to reach out
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to the community. It is estimated that 50% of all people with mental health difficulties in Singapore are not seeking proper medical advice. The victims of the brain disease, and their families, are paralysed at home, not knowing what to do. They take positive steps to seek treatment only after multiple episodes of mental crises. By that time, the sickness has grown to be quite acute. As Ambassador for IMH, together with Mandy, Fiona, Vera, Catherine and Susan, I help to bring groups to tour the Museum at IMH, the ‘A’ Class private ward (Sayang Wellness centre), the Rehabilitation ward (the Stepping Stones) and the social enterprise (the Salvation Army Thrift Shop). The highlight of the tour is the presentation at the Auditorium where questions and answers regarding misconceptions and misinterpretations are often clarified and brought to light. I would give them a 20 minutes talk with a 10 minutes question and answer session. Sometimes, I would present souvenirs of the books I have written to the tour participants. In that way, I tell the story of my journey of recovery, the Recovery Experience.
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How do we spot symptoms of a mental breakdown? Ask the person to hold a cup half-filled with water. You will see the person unfocused; the water may be shaking in the cup in his trembling hand.
How do we overcome stress? Ask a person to hold the cup for 1 or 2 minutes. Then, suggest to him to hold it for half an hour or two, or even half a day. How would you feel? He would feel stress, and if it is for half a day he may need to consult a doctor for pains in the arm! To overcome stress, be able to pick up the cup, hold on to it steadily, and then be able to put it down on a table to let it rest. Do not hold it for two hours without rest. The same applies to students holding their books or working on the computer to study. Take a break after an hour and a half or two. It is estimated that 30% of the computer users in Singapore are addicted. Never turn the cup upside down and pour off all its content in bitterness, anger and frustration. Never empty our life or allow your life to be turned upside
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down. Also, never, ever break the cup! Too many have attempted suicides or tried consuming drugs.
How do you counsel someone who says there is no meaning and purpose in living, who is clinically depressed? Ask him to look at the cup. Ask him, “Is it half empty or half full?� If he answers that the cup is half empty, he would feel his life empty. If the interpretation is that the cup is half full, then his life would still be filled with something --- filled with spiritual water, love and care! Soon the cup will be filled to its brim, and life would be a clear glass of sparkling water again.
How would you remove the paranoid fear from a person? Ask him not to fear the cup, be calm. Do not fear that the cup will drop from his hand and break into pieces. Do not leave the cup at the far end of the table or at the far corner of the room. Hold the cup close to your heart in your warm and loving hands and drink of its
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contents. It may be water, fruit juice, wine or medicine. The content is good for you, it can quench your thirst or it can heal you. After having consumed its contents, let the cup rest gently on the table. And the cup of life and its contents has now come back into your life. Cheers, and hope you like the above demonstration and illustration by the utilization of the Cup. Hope that there is a golden beam shining on and through the cup, in your life! May your cup of champagne bubbles --- that your life may be bubbly too!
Lesson learnt Teach effectively through simple visual demonstration or illustration, for example, as in an active tour of IMH or the vivid utilisation of the Cup.
ďƒż
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The Cup The cup half empty Or the cup half full It is your choice of interpretation That will decide whether your Life is cool! The cup held in your hand Or the cup discarded on wasteful land It’s a matter of bringing it close to you Have no fear and drink of its content. The cup grasped tight For an hour or two, If you don’t put it to rest Depression will descend upon you too. Never turn the cup upside down Never empty your life; Never break the cup Never, ever, have the angry bitter strife. The cup sparkles in clear crystal glass Soon bubbling to its brim; Oh, the radiant Joy That brings forth Life in the golden Beam!
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Poem written by Harris Ng, Author and Teacher Facilitator of Peer Support Groups at SCC and Club3R Mental Wellness Advocate, Silver Ribbon Singapore Ambassador for the Institute of Mental Health President, Association for The Open Minds (ATOM)
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Chapter 12
Teaching the Recovery Process through Silver Ribbon Singapore (SRS)
S
ilver Ribbon Singapore (SRS) was set up by three young passionate ladies, Porsche, Sally and Helen. Its original objective was to stamp out stigma. The mentally troubled in Singapore and in the world at large have been facing a lot of stigma, even to the extent of discrimination. Employers prefer to hire people that do not have the background of a mental health problem. If they do hire them, they are often given a proportionally lower salary! Often CEOs feel that it is not a glorifying image for their companies to have in their manpower people with a mental background history, even though such people have already recovered‌
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SRS conducts and organizes campaigns throughout the island nation of Singapore to educate the public on mental health. Basically, our message is that recovery is possible and that the recovery rate for mental illnesses is high. We also attempt to debunk the myth that the mentally ill are often prone to violence. Violence sometimes occurs because the patients reject medication, and as a result they relapse into a state of crisis. If patients are given proper care and encouragement, and they do seek treatment, patients can live a normal quality life. Then, violence would not occur. I have been with the SRS for quite a long time. Together with Porsche, Sally, Helen, Rita and my wife Violet, we have been going around giving talks to organizations. We have been to community centres, schools, universities and religious organizations to spread the message of recovery. Porsche conducts the Mental Health First Aid program, while I conduct the H.E.A.R.T. Program. Harris Easily Activated Recovery Tips is a program designed entirely by me, especially to help bring about a quick understanding and a more complete acceptance and recovery of mental illness. In doing so,
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practical tips are taught on how recovery can be easily activated. Some of the tips have already been discussed in this book. The HEART Program incorporates the mental mind, the spiritual mind and the educated mind. It treats the entire person as a whole, adopting the holistic approach.
Recovery is a journey of 4 major levels: The 1st Level is that of INITIAL DENIAL and SELFISOLATION. At this level, the victims of mental illness deny that they have a mental illness, and so they refuse psychiatric help. They barricade themselves in their houses, isolating themselves from outside help. Family members could not do anything to help as they have very little understanding of the illness, and they are also very fearful of annoying the victims. If the victims have been brought to the hospitals, at this level, there is a tendency for them to default medication after they are discharged. Non-compliance to medication leads to the revolving door cycle. Patients are hospitalised again and again for treatments for as many as 20 times over a period of 10 or more years. Despite multiple hospitalisation, they do not gain any insight into the illness. The patients
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continue to claim that the diagnosis is wrong and the medication is addictive. They will not hesitate to stop medication on their own, resulting in further more acute relapses. At this level, the patient is not helping himself; he is only helped by others whom he rejects.
The 2nd Level of Recovery is ACCEPTANCE. Here the victims of mental illnesses accept that they are mentally ill. This is a great step forward. To overcome the illness, the patient accepts the diagnosis and as a result, he takes his medication regularly on his own. He need not be fed his medication and he need not be reminded to take it. He is fairly stabilized but he still lives in a state of fear and stigma. He fights against talking to anyone about his illness, making outside help quite difficult. He hides his illness, he lives behind a veil. He feels God is unfair to him, to have given him such a brain disease. He feels society is cruel in discriminating against him. As a result he is unable to find a job, and most probably, he spends many years in the house, eating and sleeping, and not doing any productive work. Some stay in rehabilitation centres for more than three years,
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their whole life being supported by welfare or by their caregivers. At this level, the patient is trying hard to help himself.
The 3rd Level of Recovery is RE-INTEGRATION BACK INTO SOCIETY. At this level, the patients no longer called themselves patients; they call themselves, “Consumers�. They are consumers of the mental health service. The consumer pays for his own medications; he holds a job and is gainfully employed. He is no longer placed on occupational therapy; he is integrated back into society, functioning as a normal person. He has probably built his own nest, supporting himself and his own family. Some are married with children, others choose to remain single. In every aspect, they are happy. They are given opportunities to survive comfortably in the society --independently and meaningfully with a purpose in life. They are able to lift up their face with a smile, no longer feeling depressed or psychotic. The symptoms of their illnesses are under control, but many of them will need to continue with their medication for life. This is not to say they are unwell. Recovery does not carry the message that we can stop all medication.
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Recovery is to live a quality life just like any other normal person. At this 3rd Level the consumer is not only helping himself, he is also seeking the help of others, such as in getting employment. Of course, he must first have the will to work. Life is sweet if we include a little work into it.
The 4th and highest Level of Recovery is ADVOCACY: SELF-ADVOCACY. Here at this level, the consumer comes out with his family to help others to recover. This 4th Level is a very inspiring level. However, not many can do it. To become an active self-advocate, the consumer must have the support of his family. This means that internal family relationship must have been restored, and should be peaceful and joyful. The consumer must be prepared to face the stigma and discrimination, once he goes public. If his employer, at any time, thinks that he is a bad image to the company, the family must step in to give their support, when the self-advocate gets the sack!
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In self-advocacy, the consumer must be brave enough to speak up for the rights of all the mentally ill. For example, he must keep hammering to push through the message that it is not necessary to have a clause in the employment application forms, declaring that we have a history of mental illness. Such a clause is outdated and it has been removed in many developed countries, including Japan, Hong Kong and Malaysia. He can also campaign for mental illness to be included as one of the 30 major illnesses covered by insurance. Self-advocacy impacts the public greatly because it can project the visual aspect of recovery. If a doctor goes all out to tell the public that recovery is possible, but the public does not see any single person coming out to say he has recovered, the public will think that there is something wrong somewhere in the “hidden� message of the doctor. When the recovery message is clear, strong and visual, families will not hesitate to send their loved ones for early treatment of suspected mental illnesses. The person who has the early symptoms will also be willing to seek psychiatric help. At this inspiring 4th Level of Recovery, miracles can be seen in the spreading of the Hope of recovery.
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Every recovered patient or every consumer does have a touching story to tell. The story however, must be positive. This is self-advocacy at its best.
THE RECOVERY PROCESS by THE RECOVERY EXPERIENCE LEVEL 1 Initial Denial and Self-Isolation (Not helping oneself) LEVEL 2 Acceptance (Trying hard to help oneself with perseverance, and not lethargy) LEVEL 3 Re-integration Back into Society (Seeking the help of others who have the heart to care) LEVEL 4 Self-Advocacy (Helping others with true love)
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It is suggested to patients that they identify their own level of recovery by themselves. They should not be told which level they are in. They do have a free will and a free choice to choose the level they wish to be identified with. After having done that, the patients can choose to plan or aspire to move on to a higher level if they so desire. The process is by Choice and not Coercion.
Lesson learnt Teaching the RECOVERY RECOVERY EXPERIENCE:
PROCESS
by
the
You have the free-will to choose, and the free choice to decide, how to shape your own life. However, you need perseverance in Peace, Joy and Love to sustain it good! ďƒż
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CONCLUSION Teacher says, “Bye Bye and Be Blessed!” --- BB & BB!
M
y students have always been asking me, “When are you going to write about us, we are looking forward to your next book!”
“Hi everyone, finally, herewith briefly, I have attempted to satisfy all of you. Not only that, I have told you more of myself, something I have not told anyone before. I am a teacher, not just teaching the academic school syllabus, but one with a world view, teaching the holistic, full True Life view. ”
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I have attempted to conscientiously model the teacher as someone who is also the “Comforter”, the counsellor, the friend and a role-model. A teacher is in some way also a healer of the mind, especially the educational mind. “I hope everyone will love such a teacher, just like how my students have loved me!” In particular, I have focused on mental wellness because education is really the building up of beautiful and healthy minds, and not the mere construction of tall architectural building structures or the set up of strong profit-making economic systems. Education is not just the acquiring of knowledge so as to pass examinations or to make big money --- to “create wealth”, as many would like to call it! Getting Distinctions or straight “A’s” is impressive in the meritocratic system, but the development and establishment of our character and morals is more important. Perhaps in future, we should embark on a “human development system” where character formation in schools is given more credit than wealth creation. As for now, I wish you all a more happy and joyful life after reading my exposition in this book. I hope my
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writings have answered some of the deep questions in your hearts, and have helped you gain insight into the system which is the wealth-economy vis-à-vis the true meaning of Life. For deeper insight into practical spiritual “maps”, try reading When I First Walked In. It may be a little controversial, but it will make you sit up straight and begin some real thinking, and decide to choose the best path on the map of your life. There are many good pathways. We can choose the most comfortable -- the most joyful or potentially the most joyful --- that is to say, the best. We do not live for the system, the “Economy”. The system lives for us. The system by itself has no life. It is unwise for world governments to focus and watch the “Economy” rather than to care and watch the people. Watch not so often the share market index or the GDP, instead watch more often the birth, death, suicide and unemployment rate --- the number of people who are unable to pay for their utilities, rental and medical bills. Watch also the crime and divorce indexes, the happiness, green environment and Consumer Price indexes.
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If it is necessary, change highly stressed systems to make life better for everyone. System must evolve and be better year by year. The system itself is not LIFE. Economic systems in terms of wage-payment for labour should also be changed to reduce the income gap between the extreme top and the very bottom. People cannot survive on an unsustainable income; creating welfare subsidies for low wages may not be the best solution to the problem, but is a good firststep trying to seek a solution. “Good bye. I wish to say no more. Once again, hope for a better tomorrow. Good bye to you all who have read through this little book. Wish you the Good Life. BB & BB.” If you still think that life is nothing but a pure long struggle all the time, re-think your supposedly fixed ideas and re-shape and continue to fine tune the system. “Again, live the Honest and Good Life. Love your neighbours, your fellow citizens. Always be blessed. I repeat, BB & BB.”
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Quote #1 “Now economists are telling the opposite story and predicting a quick V-shaped recovery. It merits skepticism, given their (i) methodology and (ii) past track record.” Larry Haverkamp, Dr Money For the Educated Mind, the above was extracted from The New Paper, Monday 31 August 2009, entitled “Massaging the Numbers”.
Quote #2 It’s a recession when your neighbour loses his job. It’s a depression when you lose your own. Harry S Truman, US President from 1945-1953.
SAMPLE PRAYERS to educate the Educated Mind: How some of us pray? God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. … The Serenity Prayer.
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To have a Hope is to believe we have a blessed Future, to have Health is to be able to continue to work well, to be Happy is to have the Peace of God in our heart, given and blessed with a good sleep and a thankful meal. Lord, grant us every day our daily bread. Guide me and be my Guide. Lead me along my paths. Protect me from any misadventures. Bless us with Hope, Health and Happiness. Amen. Harris’ 3-H Prayer
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THE GOOD LIFE (Written in jest and in Truth)
Life, oh life is a pure struggle, Nah, let it not be. Life, yes life is a mere gamble, Now, that way, we shouldn’t see! So change the system The Changer is me. Let’s not fight each other Just for the money! Be a friend to all Be as helpful as you can be. Love thy neighbours Oh God, Wholly, Wholly! … Poem written in 7 minutes By the author, Harris Ng, for his book, Teacher Teacher I Love You
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Snippets of a touching Testimony Dear Harris, I have read your book over and over again, with deep thoughts. On behalf of the team, I would like to applaud your great effort to combat mental health stigma and encourage early treatment. There is a handful of Singaporeans who have delayed treatment due to misconceptions. Often, they will post questions such as “Could people with mental illness lead a productive life?”, “Are all people with mental illness dangerous?”, “Is mental illness treatable?” and so on. “Could people with mental illness lead a productive life?” I believe you have already provided sufficient answers to the above question by sharing your experience as:•
a volunteer in Children’s Aid Society and Singapore Spastics Association in Chapter 1 & 2,
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•
a teacher at Kim Seng Technical School in Chapter 3,
•
a teacher at Loke Yang Public School in Chapter 4,
•
a teacher to blue collars workers in Chapter 5,
•
a facilitator of an Interactive Support Group at Singapore Association for Mental Health in Chapter 10,
•
an ambassador for Institute of Mental Health in Chapter 11, and
•
an active mental health advocate in Silver Ribbon ( Singapore ) in Chapter 12.
“Are all people with mental illness dangerous?” Your closeness with Weenie, Ginny, Zhong Ren and other students would be able to clear the doubts of the readers with such a question in their minds. “Is mental illness treatable?” I highly recommend the HEART Program mentioned in Chapter 12 to the readers. It incorporates the mental mind, spiritual mind, and educated mind, treating the entire person as a whole and adopting the holistic approach. I am not sure if you could recall the following conversation we had at SRS office in Oct 2008.
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“Harris, what made you think that your status is lower than the mental health professionals when everyone is equal and has a role to play in mental health promotion?” I asked. “Everyone thinks so.” You replied. “Are you not one of the “Everyone” who confirmed the belief?” I asked. At that point, I wanted to boost your morale so much. Thus, I was extremely surprised by what you have written on Chapter 10 of this book and am really glad that you have finally acknowledged your own contribution in the mental health movement. It is written, “If you have a General who has never been to a war, and a soldier who has fought in several wars, who would you want to lead you into the battlefield?” It is also written, “And why do you want a professional psychiatrist or a professional counsellor to take over what you have been doing?” Generally, there are 2 choices for people with mental illness: Choice 1 – Remain in the sick role. They would begin their sentences with “They should”, “She should”, “He should”, etc, instead of “I should”. For example, “My wife should give in to me since I am with Depression.”
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“They should Schizophrenia.”
help
me
because
I
have
Choice 2 – Move on with a positive mindset. They would begin their sentences with “I should”. For example, “The more others despise people with mental illness, the more I should work hard to show that I could still make a contribution to the society!” “Despite the side effects of my drugs, I should discipline myself to wake up early for my work.”
You deserve my respect because you, the soldier who had fought in several wars, have opted Choice 2. Porsche Poh Executive Director, Silver Ribbon ( Singapore )
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Appendix 1 Reflections for Teachers and Students {Written with some input questions contributed by James Chan, Executive Director, St. Andrew’s Lifestreams.}
CHAPTER 1 Teacher: What are your reasons for becoming a teacher? Student: What are the things you feel grateful for as a student? Teachers’ Possible Answers: Really, it’s not for the money or for the security! Students’ Possible Answers: I know there are many children in the world who do not have the opportunity
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to go to a proper school. I am grateful I am given an education.
CHAPTER 2 Teacher: What do you think should be the goals of education? Student: Describe a teacher who has made a significant impact on your studies. Students’ Possible Answers: My teacher reprimands with jokes and laughter. He motivates with his own personal stories and not just with material rewards. He is my role-model. Sometimes, he prays‌
CHAPTER 3 Teacher: If you have the power to change the education system, what changes would you make? Student: What do you think are the qualities of a good teacher?
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Students’ Possible Answers: A good teacher should scold less and motivate more. Scolding and motivating are not the same things. I’m sorry to be so blunt in my words! CHAPTER 4 Teacher: What are the reasons for you to continue being a teacher? Student: What do you think are the goals of education? Students’ Possible Answers: Goals? To score the highest marks, to compete at whatever the cost, to focus on and help the very best, that is to produce the best. To chase after our own personal dreams at the expense of the community spirit or the community goals. Hahaha!
CHAPTER 5 Teacher: What do you think are the strengths and weaknesses of our present educational system? Do you have any deep insight as to what exactly “Life” is?
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Student: For the adult students, what are the reasons for you to pursue or not to pursue your studies?
CHAPTER 6 Teacher: What are the challenges and struggles you face as a teacher? Student: If you have the power to change the education system, what changes would you make? Students’ Possible answers: I would re-introduce the three-term year, so that we can have longer holidays and less cramming as each term is so short now. Also, I will have shorter school hours for every Wednesday of the week. School should also starts at 8.15 am and not 7.30am. This is to reduce mental breakdowns and to promote mental wellness.
CHAPTER 7 Teacher: How do you define “success”? Are there any areas you would want to do differently? Should the CEO system be re-shaped, replaced or improved upon?
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Student: What do you think will make you to become successful? Is Ginny complaining too much or is she complacent? Do you agree with Ginny? Students’ Possible Answers: I totally agree with Ginny! Do you know why? I’m serious, I’m not joking.
CHAPTERS 7, 8 Teacher: What feedback have you received from your students? Student: What do you think will make your life meaningful? What is the purpose and goal of a good education? What have Ginny and Zhong Ren learnt? What have you learnt from the dialogues? A literature question??? Hahaha! Students’ Possible Answers: Both Ginny and Zhong Ren have learnt to open up. For me, I have learnt to speak up, giving good feedbacks. I have also learnt to acquire interest in social issues and discuss them openly. In the past, I am only interested in entertainment, sports and pleasures.
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CHAPTER 9 Teacher: Why do you think some students are not motivated in their studies? In what ways can you help them to be more interested in their studies? Should there be a greater recognition placed on special skills or talents, besides the academic? Student: What positive statements would you say to encourage your teachers? Students’ Possible answers: Thank you for understanding that we are not perfect. We too want to do well, hope you can understand our plight! CHAPTER 10 Teacher: In your special experience as a teacher, what is most rewarding and encouraging to you? Student: As a student, encouraging to you?
what
has
been
most
Students’ Possible Answers: Like Zhong Ren, in Chapter 8, my most encouraging experience as a student is to have found your book and read it. “Teacher, teacher, I do honestly love you!” Hahaha.
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CHAPTER 11 Teacher: In what other areas can a teacher make contributions besides teaching in a school? Student: What teaching methods interest you besides Lecture and Instruction? Students’ Possible Answers: It might be good to be assigned the task of doing projects like interviewing the community and not the experts, on their views on social issues. We can be taught to be aware of them from young, and learnt to reflect upon them, and solve them and not to repeat mistakes seen in them. Interviewing a drug addict or a “school failure” for example, would be educating and interesting!
CHAPTER 12 Teacher: Does your teaching extend beyond the school environment? Can you list some of your experiences? Student: As a student, are you aware of any learning experiences that are markedly different from the learning experiences that you have picked up within your school? List one or two such experiences, such as
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those in a church, at a work place, on a foreign tour or in a short mission trip on the mission field.
CHAPTER 13 Teacher: What would be your idea of an ideal teacher, not the ideal teaching method? Student: What would be your idea of an ideal student, not the ideal subject to study? Or what is your best experience in your student life?
POSSIBLE ANSWERS: An ideal teacher has passion; love what he teaches and whom he teaches. An ideal student also has passion; love the chosen course of his studies, and be able to communicate with his teachers, to develop personal research and to read up on his own. ďƒż
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Appendix 2 Is it okay to speak up or is it wise to voice our sincere and genuine concern as a fully responsible citizen? CHAPTER 7, 11 For the people on the ground: Should teachers restrict themselves only to the role of teaching the academic subjects? Do you agree that the writer has done a respectable job by openly discussing and expressing deep, genuine social concerns? For the Students and Teachers: Can you all understand the “Lesson Learnt” as put at the end of Chapter 7? Have you heard of the 6Cs besides the 5Cs? Should schools spend time creating such an interest in the students and discuss or teach them in depth? Do students have any idea of “system concepts” or are they too difficult for students to comprehend? 136
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For the readers of this book: Why do you think the author writes the poem, The Cup, in Chapter 11? Why do writers write?
CHAPTER 7, 9 For the public: Is there a sharpening Social Divide in the world? Do you agree that greed and power is too rampant in our present economic systems of the world? In many countries, food is thrown away by the rich, while the poor is left to starve! Should the public be intelligently “educated” on such more relevant life-matters, teaching them “as added pointers”, as in Chapter 9? For Teachers and Students: Are teachers over-loaded with too heavy a work load and too great a responsibility… that they have no time to truly educate? If so, should teachers be relieved of some of their academic teaching responsibilities so that they can find time to play the role of the counsellor or to focus more on character development, social awareness and community care? Which is more important: merely imparting knowledge, trying hard
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to complete the syllabus; or teach students to address deep social everyday concerns and so provide a more direct rounded education? Should schools try to interest the students to discuss more about the difficult affairs of the community and the nation besides joyfully celebrating National Day? Should students be studying Social Study topics that are mainly historical in nature? What topics are considered “out-of-bound” or “politically correct”? Can a more open-minded approach be adopted? Is it good to do that? Or are we worried that such an approach may cause instability, and therefore, it is safer not to open up too much? For example, should issues such as a minimum salary be allowed to be discussed in the classrooms or lecture halls? Should cleaners, nursery teachers and health care assistants be given a higher salary? Is the medical cost too high, and so more doctors must be produced to reduce the medical consultation fee? Should welfare allowance for the elderly and disadvantaged be increased, instead of increasing the subsidy for the babies and the youths? Is it healthy to interest students to discuss such living matters, and ask them to do social interview projects and surveys on them? Are
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Road Gantry charges reasonable? Should taxi service transport be encouraged but private car transport be discouraged, so as to create more jobs, less parking spaces, less traffic jams and better and more efficient use of the cars? In a congested city state like Singapore, is it not better to be driven in a taxi or bus than to drive? Should we place more emphasis on social education and not “economic education”? Should counsellors and social workers be given greater recognition --- a higher salary comparable to their work-load --- one that is comparable to that of lawyers or business executives? One final focal point to discuss: Is it taboo or oversensitive to ask HOW Billion of Dollars can be “loss” overnight in investments? Many of the officials think it is better not to discuss it because it is not “wise” to do so. But are we true teachers, for by discussing it openly and thoroughly, the whole nation of investors will learn from the mistakes made, if any. We can then take better precaution to guard ourselves in future. Lessons will be learnt and mistakes not repeated, so that “a major portion of the national cash” in a country will not be wipe out again. Alternatively, we can keep
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mum about bad national investments and talk only of our “successful investments”. In view of the unstable world economic system, are there valuable educational lessons learnt in the financial system of the world, and in particular in our country? I know, many would prefer to keep mum, not to teach lessons learnt, due to one reason: we think it is unwise to speak up, even politely to correct our own or our friends’ mistakes. Most of us are not true teachers, and we somewhat fear a 20 seconds anger may break even a 20-year friendship!
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PROVERB-QUOTE for the Fathers A good friend is a sweater that keeps you warm A good wife is a cradle that gently and persistently supports, A good son is a bank account, he delivers and provides A good daughter Cheers, Comforts and Consoles. A good God is like the sun It is the source of our eternal lives. The Father God controls, guides and opens new doors, The great fathers uplift with love and it is Love. (Many relationships sour bitterly because we step frequently on to each other toes. While secularism may be practiced, it is unwise to negate or confront the Divine‌ for the Divine is always there to mean you well. The Divine represents goodness and all that is good. He teaches love and He is Love --otherwise, He is not the Divine! A secular system often oversteps itself, strongly denying God, but we need to understand that such a system still has the need to respect God and the believers of God.)
be a True teacher
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Appendix 3 Before I Say BB&BB, Are You My Good Friend? (From the teacher’s soul to the students’ hearts…through his writings.)
Many have told me that they like this book, Teacher Teacher I Love You. However, some adult readers have asked, “Who are your targeted readers? To whom would you want to sell the book?” When I was writing this book, I have not thought strictly in terms of “Market Segment” or “Customer Base”. I have not asked, “Who are my targeted readers?” For once if I ask, I will lose the essence of quality! The quality in a book is in its “return” --- the continued remembrance and recommendation by its
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readers. Readers return to the writer they like, to what the writer continues to write. The market generates itself; there need not be an original market base! This book is meant for all ages: young students, concerned parents and true, matured teachers. Deep thoughts and new ideas should be expressed in as simple a language as possible so that they can impact a wider audience or readership. In this book, the word, “Teacher” does not refer just to the school teacher. Touched by the concern that this book might be too “deep” for the younger students and yet “not deep enough” for the Teachers, I have decided to pen another story below. Perhaps by reading it, you may get a better understanding why the author writes in such a manner --- with progressive depths in both his ideas and his language.
Final Quote by the author: Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. Assertiveness prevents others from turning us into a doormat. “I do not want you to be bullied,” counsels a wise Social Worker. “Calm assertiveness is the mark of a grown-up person.”
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Are You My Good Friend? --- The thinking in a young Mind
(Dedicated to my Crystal Heng, a teenage- student, with a good command of the English Language but she is one that still doesn’t quite catch why her mother is so worried about her education or her Educated Mind!)
My friend was good to me. She sms me all the time. I always replied her sms immediately with excitement. Often when I was doing my homework, or when I was having my tuition at home, I would stop all my work to reply her sms. “She is my best friend,” I had always thought so. Another friend frequently invited me to go out with him to go shopping or to the movies. This friend was also very good to me. He bought me beautiful presents, and I loved going out with him even if I was having my examinations the next day. “Tests and good grades are not so important to me whenever I compare them with the wonderful moments we 144
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always spend together with each other.” And so I dreamed on… A third friend told me, “Teachers are cruel because they are in a habit of giving a lot of homework.” She also lamented, “Parents are bad because they always nag. They are stubborn-headed, or hard-headed. They demand that we must get at least two A’s. If I will to get two C’s they will skin me alive!” I liked this friend very much. She understood our feelings very well. I often wondered, “Why must we study so hard? My friend is right and she understands me better than my teachers!” Now, I have grown up. I am 24 years old and I am working both as a Sales Assistant and as a Waitress in order to survive. I work very hard and I need to have two jobs because the pay my boss is willing to pay me is very low. There is no minimum pay, and bosses are free to pay as low as they wish, or as high as they desire if they want to make one of themselves a CEO! I have been thinking about my three friends…as for my parents and my teachers, I do not quite think about them. “Are they my best of friends?” They had never asked me to FOCUS on my study; neither did they push me
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to work hard. They have always encouraged me to PLAY, to ENJOY and think “happily” that teachers and parents are monsters! Indeed, I always had much to complain when I was 14! “Were you my best of friends?” I wonder now. I have second thoughts, as a 24-year-old. I am still thinking…deeply. Perhaps, I do wish, parents and teachers do have greater understanding of what Love is or what Life is all about. Can I sincerely say, “Teacher, Teacher, or Daddy, Mummy, I Love You.” with a true heart and with some true feelings? “Teachers, Mothers, Fathers, we are all so inhibited by the system!” May I ask once again, but this time not to my friends, “Teachers, Teachers, are you the best of my Good Friends?”
BB&BB (Be Blessed and Bye Bye)
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From Teacher to You, A short, simple, little poem,
From My Heart Food is good for the body Study is a joy to the mind. Play is fun and laughter‌ Without work, Life is seldom kind! By Harris Ng (even God, He also works!)
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Appendix 4 HARRIS’ TEST FOR A TRULY MEANINGFUL JOB or LIFE Test put to a 2nd Year University Student, whom I coached. “Suppose suddenly you have $20 Million, either left behind by your father, or that you have won a lottery. Would you continue to do what you are doing now?” “Oh Mr Harris Ng, I would give up my present course of study or stop my work and then travel around the world!” “Well, to me, that means what you are now doing is not truly meaningful…For me, I will not only continue my job as a teacher, I will continue to write more, spend even more time in my calling to help the mentally ill, to spread the Hope of Recovery and to move people to seek living a life with the potential of a GLORIOUS BEYOND!” “Sir, you have created a very vivid test of what truly is a meaningful life or job. I understand the point you are driving at. Thank you for your counselling and teaching. Thank you for your book, Teacher Teacher I Love You.”
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Comments by Readers... (1) The starting is exceptionally powerful and the ending thought-provoking. Your careful thoughts are penned into words which we sometimes think about but do not articulate. You have the unique power to crystallise your thoughts and put them down in an interesting and simple manner. Grace Lee, Educator (2) A truthful and inspiring book: at once easy to read and understand, ideally suitable for all ages. Chapter 7 reflects well on what intellectually smarter students are usually thinking, most of the time! Chapter 11 is my favourite. Cherlyn Hoo, Damai Secondary School, Sec 4 (3) I am mesmerised by this book and I really like the story, especially chapter 5. It is very inspiring and gives me motivation to start studying now, rather than later when I become an adult. Chapter 5 is a very good story by itself indeed! Crystal Heng, Paya Lebar Methodist Girls’ School, Sec 3
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(4) The whole book is wonderful and touching. It tells me not to give up on hope and always to be happy with myself, especially in study. Some of the chapters are very interesting and funny! I hope Mr Harris Ng will write more books. Goh Shi Hong, Ai Tong School, Primary 6J (5) I must admit I cried rather shamelessly when I read about your teaching experience at Kim Seng Technical School. I felt connected to your student‌ I can identify that you are not just a tutor to your student: in you they have found acceptance and normalcy. Helen Yong, Social Worker (6) I have read your book over and over again with deep thoughts‌ You deserved my respect because you, the soldier who had fought in several wars (Chapter 10), have opted Choice 2 to move on with a positive mindset. Porsche Poh, Executive Director, Silver Ribbon (Singapore) (7) This book inspires and brings about a better understanding of moral values. To me, this book is like
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a friend. It teaches and encourages me not to give up in life. I like the jokes and the subtle meanings behind the stories in Chapter 6 to 8. Out of a total of “10”, I would give the book a “9”. Why? Because I am eagerly looking forward to read even more stories by Daddy Harris in his future books. Not enough, hahaha! Chen Hui Heng, Jurong West Secondary School, Sec 5
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