Bridging the Age Gap

(The nickname of the New Zealand Team) performed this ferocious, aggressive dance while facing a French team that stared bewildered by this intimidating display.

Conversely, there are few, if any players of indigenous descent on the Canadian Hockey teams. At least none that I know of. The Indians in Canada are hardly present at all in any prominent way. They seem to live in the margins of society, like an embarrassing relative that the family takes pains to avoid, a vast contrast to New Zealand. It is as if they live in a separate world than us, even if we are in the same country.

When I was younger, I didn’t get along with my sister at all. It might be the fact that we are both short tempered or the fact that we are twelve years apart, or simply the fact that we are siblings. We would compete for our parents’ affection and fight over the pettiest things, such as who gets the comfortable chair during dinner. One of our biggest fights was over who got the rocking chair on the balcony while our parents were at the grocery store. She saw me as the way-younger bratty, annoying sister whereas I saw her as tower of indifference and impregnability. My annoying antics were my only (if often futile) weapons to breach her defenses.

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When she departed for college in the United States, and later when she started working, we would all go visit her during vacations. We never went more than four months without seeing each other in person. But everything changed two years ago. Covid started spreading and prevented us from seeing each other. I haven’t seen her for two years. However, distance and time fueled my appreciation for her. Because of the age gap, she had always been a kind of parental figure to me. The gulf in age and experience between us, afforded her the perspective to give me advice and encouragement and me the awe and admiration to listen. Ironically, she was the one I felt most comfortable confiding in not in spite of but because of the age gap. After she went away to school, the petty rivalries and arguments disappeared and a mutual affection and understanding took root instead.

I did miss having her around. Although we did FaceTime from time to time, it was never the same. I couldn’t buzz around her like a mosquito, baiting her to try to swat me, only to annoy her. The deep talks were harder to come by, too. Human touch is something irreplaceable and difficult to reproduce. I miss her more than I would like to admit. Covid has made me realize that family are the most important people in your life. The only ones you will ever need. They are those who keep you grounded during difficult times.

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