hampton roads academy
the compass Vol. VI, Issue I
739 Academy Lane, Newport News, VA 23602
November 2008
OPINIONS
NEWS
FEATURES
FEATURES
Students dress down HRA code Page 2
A tough project in ‘The Big Easy’ Page 6
Nick Mobley, ‘Love Monkey’ Page 6
New Cold War Kids CD: Hot? Page 7
New teachers come to HRA upper school By Sarah Vogt The Hampton Roads Academy community
Mr. Bryce Kiser, the new upper school Spanish teacher, is a graduate of Washington and Jefferson
Gillespie to direct HRA upper school course By Samuel Brody-Boyd and Stephanie Margolin As we all well know, the upper school of Hamp-
Asked what challenges face HRA currently, Mrs. Gillespie said that over-commitment was a big problem,
mourns the loss of many beloved teachers and faculty.
College, where he was able to study abroad in Argen-
ton Roads Academy now has a new head, and her name
with students having too many things to do and not
But, with the beginning of a new year, we also wel-
tina. In addition to traveling, Mr. Kiser’s interests lie
is Karen Gillespie. Previously, Mrs. Gillespie was the
being able to do them all. She added that this had been a
come the arrival of five new upper school teachers:
in sports, so it is only fitting that he will be assisting
head of the head of HRA’s foreign language department
problem at HRA for 20 years, and that it can’t be solved
the football and baseball teams.
and taught Spanish I, AP Spanish, and Honors Spanish
overnight. Regarding the dress code. Mrs. Gillespie says
IV, before being asked by HRA Headmaster Thomas
that no changes will occur, but says that HRA is open to
Harvey to be the new head of the upper school.
new styles and reasonable requests by students should
- Ms. Maribel Gendreau joins HRA as an upper school science teacher and will teach biology and
Compass seeking
life sciences. She received her doctorate from the University of Connecticut in bio-behavioral Science.
economic feedback
Ms. Gendreau will also be coordinating the Community Service Program this year; Mrs. Sue Ardelji, upper school English teacher,
from HRA community
is teaching junior and AP senior English. Mrs. Ardelji
How has the economy affected
earned a master’s degree in education from Old Dominion University and taught at Smithfield High School for the past five years. Mrs. Ardelji is also working diligently with HRA’s yearbook staff as an advisor; Mr. Christopher Joyce, upper school history teacher, leaves our rival school, Walsingham Academy, to teach United States AP History at HRA. Mr. Joyce has received both his bachelor’s and master’s degrees from Emory University, and will help boys track this spring;
your pocketbook? Your family’s? The Compass is planning for its next issue
tion after seven years of service.
something new arise. Regarding the new car line procedure instituted
When asked about whether or not senior pranks were un-banned since Mr. Hill. Mrs. Gillespie replied
by Susanne Swain, head of the middle school, Gillespie says that it was vital this year to increase safety in the
that the seniors still do not
parking lot, and that the new
get to have senior pranks.
car line is more orderly, and
She added, “Think about
supposed to be even faster.
the fact that every person
But, she admits, “I’m sure it’s a
who works in this building
work in progress.”
a series of stories relating to this most
gave up a career that would
timely topic. Do you need a loan for
have made them a lot more
position, Mrs. Gillespie made
money to help you achieve
it clear that students can still
your dreams, so at the end
talk to her openly and that they
second job to pay for gas for your car?
of it is you’re going to
shouldn’t be intimidated by her
The Compass wants YOU!
make their life difficult by
new title. “I’ve been sitting in
either messing the place
rooms with 16 and 17 year old
up or doing something to
for 30 some years now. I feel
Sadie Hawkins tickets? Do you need a
Mr. James Lidington, upper school English
Do you have a story to tell?
teacher, is teaching sophomore English as well as journalism. Mr. Lidington has earned a bachelor of
She replaces Aaron Hill, who resigned the posi-
E-mail it to JLIDIN@HRA.ORG.
make it a bad place for
Even in light of her new
Gillespie
arts degree in journalism from Northern Kentucky
them. Why do you want to
University and will be using his experience at The
do that to the people who
Virginian-Pilot, The Chillicothe Gazette, and The
have been helping you?” Mrs. Gillespie does support
Cincinnati Enquirer to advise The Compass, HRA’s
“something festive on the day that the seniors are gone,”
student-run newspaper;
but nothing that she says is “mean-spirited.”
like I kind of know how your minds work and it’s easier if you talk about it.”
Candidates square off in mock town-hall meeting By Alex Allen
Republicans and on the right were the Democrats: Jason
more rousing and interesting than the real McCain’s
Davis as John McCain; Nora Blalock as Sarah Palin;
best oratory. Discussing foreign policy and the
second Obama, and Jason Davis as McCain again, the
Hampton Roads Academy. A buzz circulated around
and Katie McManus as Cindy McCain; Edward Smith
economic woes, he truly was the “ultimate maverick.”
debate could begin. With two questions given to both
school about an assembly put on by Mrs. Jones’s
and Drew Small as Barack Obama; Minnae Chabwera
Advanced Placement government class. Finally the day
as Michelle Obama; Prateek Reddy as Joe Biden; and
long discussion of her track record and the classic hair
first assembly came to a close. The second began with
had come; we were
Meagan Hilliard as Hillary Clinton. Finally, a lone
and glasses that we have come to know, Blalock did an
around 20 questions posed to both the presidents and
shuttled like we
wolf sat along with the Republicans and a handsome
excellent job. Finally the Democrats were up. Drew
their running mates. With a wide array of questions,
normally were into
name tag. I speak of course of Rod Young as Ron
Smalls was the first Obama to present. With a speech
ranging from the war in Iraq to the economy, each
the auditorium for
Paul.
that would rival the real Obama, Drew moved aside
candidate had an informative answer. With a couple
for Prateek to take the podium as Joe Biden. With a
mean burns against both parties, the debates ended with both sides being represented nicely.
October 23, 2008, was an eventful day at
another assembly
The speeches began with a coin toss by
Next on the podium was Sarah Palin. With a
just like all the
Courtney Kilo, with the opening speech going to the
good speech with a little poke at the end about SNL and
rest. On stage on
Republicans. With a stirring introduction from Cindy
pitbull jokes toward Palin, the assembly moved on to
the left were the
McCain, John McCain stood to give a speech that is
the town hall format.
With Edward Smith taking the podium as the
parties, and a third one that ended rather abruptly, the
2 Vol. VI Issue I
Opinion
The Compass
Opinions expressed within the pages of The Compass reflect the views of the mentioned student authors, not necessarily the views of the faculty, staff, or administration of Hampton Roads Academy unless otherwise noted.
The Compass Staff Listings Editors -in- Chief Samuel Brody-Boyd Sarah Vogt News Editors Alexandra Glagola Stephanie Margolin Feature Editors Alexa Andersen John Quarstein Sports Editors Dai Young Kim Stefan Le Noach Layout Editor Brendan Frantz Graphics Editors Alexander Allen Kenya Mawusi
The Compass Contributors Contributing Writers Chul Shin Ryan Ellen Emily Kinkead Nick Mobley Cole Wheeler Jeffrey Wallace Faculty Advisor Mr. James Lidington
All That’s Left
The Right Side
By Cole Wheeler
By Ryan Ellen
Have you friended Barack Obama yet? Chances are, if you haven’t, you know someone who has. John McCain is on Facebook as well, but, with only a half-million friends to Obama’s 2 million, the Republican candidate is much less likely to have reached your profile. Many past elections have featured a “youth candidate,” but rarely has the generational contrast between the candidates seemed quite so pronounced. Some of the reasons for this need not be detailed: Obama’s consistent message of change; the clear toll of years on his septuagenarian opponent. More than that, however, the Obama campaign has been considerably more skillful and successful in appealing to the younger generation than has his opponent. In addition to its frequent Facebook bulletins, the Obama campaign has made great use of text messaging as a means of communicating with supporters and expanding his campaign. Although Obama’s courting of the youth vote can at times seem gimmicky, it is much more effective than McCain’s inept attempts. On Saturday Night Live, McCain joked that we need a president who is “very, very, very old,” but his deadpan was so dull as to make one want to check his pulse. Overall, the appearance served to make him seem, well, old. His pick of Sarah Palin for vice-president added a bright, youthful personality to the ticket, but after her second embarrassingly inept interview, it is unclear what else she has to offer. Though the economy has become issue No. 1, our wars abroad remain of key importance to America’s youth. As we inherit this country, we will be expected to pay the economic and diplomatic debts of our current conflicts. While Obama stresses diplomacy and would withdraw from Iraq, McCain’s tough-talking foreign policy rhetoric is reminiscent of the current administration’s hard line. The framework of our military is already under a dangerous amount of stress, and cannot be easily extended much further while remaining all-volunteer. As Nov. 4 grows closer, the campaign has devolved into full American political form. Though Obama had previously refrained from going negative, he has recently begun to fire back in full reciprocity to his opponent’s attack ads. In this longest election cycle ever, voters have grown tired of negativity. The election growing near, but the time for politics is already long past; America is ready for the new generation of leadership that is long overdue.
Historically, a young voter from the ages of, let’s say, 18-28 have always wanted some kind of change during the presidential elections. As Nov. 4 looms, both candidates, John McCain and Barack Obama, have decided to base their campaigns on the idea of change. Now, we may argue as to who came up with the campaign slogan first, but the most important thing is which candidate will fight to bring this ever-so-wanted change to the 40 percent of Americans that typically vote. As a young voter myself, I believe John McCain is the man that will bring the change like a V-8 hemi engine with 400 horsepower that can go from zero to 60 in less than four seconds. Locked and loaded with his 22 years of experience as a maverick Senator from Arizona, John McCain brings a wealth of experience to the White House not seen for many years. Using this experience of a little over two decades, he can re-establish the moral authority of the president. As a Republican senator, he has crossed party lines time and time again to reach consensus on important national issues while retaining the basic conservative approach to limited governmental interference in our day-to-day lives. John McCain realizes two of the most important issues to young voters in this election are the energy crisis and the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. With McCain as commander in chief, the manufacturing and industrial sections of the country will be reinvigorated through tax relief based incentives for the manufacturer of alternative energy sources. As for the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, McCain supports the already successful counterinsurgency strategy being applied already in both nations. As for the length of time the troops will stay in Iraq, John McCain says, “I do not want to keep our troops in Iraq a minute longer than necessary to secure our interests there.” John McCain, as a former Navy jet pilot, staunchly supports the troops no matter the cause and will do only the best thing possible for them. As commander in chief of this beautiful nation called America, John McCain will bring real change that will enable this country to progress towards a brighter future as an economic power.
Letter from the Editor By Sarah Vogt
Welcome back to Hampton RoadsAcademy to both new and returning faculty and students! I am thrilled to be co-editor for a school year that promises to be an exciting and memorable one, particularly because 2009 marks HRA’s 50th anniversary. This eventful year started over the summer with the official joining of the Country Day School to Hampton Roads Academy as the lower school. During the first week of school, Mr. Aaron Hill, former head of the upper school, resigned and Mrs. Karen Gillespie, current head of the upper school, has agreed to take on this challenge. There are even noticeable changes in The Compass. With a new staff and advisor, Mr. James Lidington, we are putting a fresh spin on things. You can expect breaking news, opinion articles, cartoons, an abundance of CD and movie reviews, sports coverage, features, and the infamous political opinion columns. This issue covers a variety of pressing topics including: a fool-proof way to get a date to a dance and most importantly, where in the world is Asa Jackson? Watch out, because The Compass is back and better than ever.
Don’t Forget About the Left Turn Lane! By Stephanie Margolin After a long day at school, there’s nothing I look forward to more than bursting out of the double doors in the comm o n s , rushing to my car, and turning left onto Oyster Point, beginning my short journey home. However, in recent years, due in part to the addition of the lower school, this process has become slow and tedious. The traffic in the parking lot has increased dramatically, prompting the administration to take action. What, you ask, could possibly reduce the ridiculously long amount of
time spent waiting at the light? At Hampton Roads Academy, we now have an additional left hand turn lane! Actually, to say that we “now” have an additional lane would be false, considering that we have had this lane for quite some time. Perhaps you’re reluctant to use the “new” lane because you fear change. If there’s anything I’ve learned from the upcoming elections this year, it’s that change is something we need, my friends. So when you leave school after a long day of hard work, or after waiting in an outrageously long line to pick up your child, do all of us a favor and use the extra left lane so we don’t miss numerous light cycles.
Vol. VI Issue I
opinion
3 The Compass
Security robs HRA atmosphere By Lexi Glagola With the addition of the lower school, many security changes have taken place. When I first came to Hampton Roads Academy as a sixthgrader, I felt welcomed by a very trusting community. The teachers, students, parents and administers knew one another by name and for the most part trusted one another. However, over time and with our society growing more and more unpredictable, the school seems to be losing its ability to trust. For example, every single person who does not attend or work at HRA must sign in. Some parents come and volunteer or pick up their kids early on a weekly basis. Even though the front desk staff knows these parents by name they still require the parents to sign in and sign out. There is no reason for a parent who is known by name to have to sign themselves
in so they can go pick up their child and sign right back out. Are parents coming to pick up their children really a suspicious threat to the school? If a stranger comes in, then that person should be required to sign in and out. If a person was actually entering the school with the intention of hurting its students, faculty and administration, would simply signing their name deter them in anyway? They probably would not even sign their real name. Forcing parents to sign in and out causes an inconvenience for the parents and gives a false sense of security. When I was in sixth grade all my mom had to do was go to the office and sign me out. HRA is a community of trust; shouldn’t well-known parents also be included? This year a new regulation has come into effect: picking up kids in the carpool line. Kids have been taught since age 2, to
always look both ways before crossing the street. And after spending weeks in drivers’ ed, it has been drilled in that pedestrians have the right-of-way. Students and parents are responsible enough to watch out in the carpool lines. Students should be trusted enough to safely get to their cars and parents should be trusted enough to not run over students. As far as middle and high school students are concerned, they are not in elementary school and no longer need their hands held to walk across the street. As students get older they should be expected to take on more responsibility; it should include walking to their cars. The HRA community is becoming more and more suspicious. Students are advised to never open the door for someone, even if they know them. All the doors except the main entrance are kept locked through-
out the school day. Of course this becomes a problem for students who walk outside, or arrive a minute after 8:20 a.m. because they were stuck in traffic. If a student sees their friend is locked out, it is ridiculous to even consider not letting them in. If it is a stranger, then do not let them in. If it is a friend and fellow student there is no reason to force them to walk around to the main entrance. As a whole, the HRA community is losing its welcoming and trusting nature. More and more restrictions are being placed on the students and parents for our safety. A community has to trust itself and all of its members to truly ensure everyones’ safety.
By Samuel Brody-Boyd Hate is a very, very strong word that should never, ever be used. That being said, I hate Hannah Montana. What, might you ask, is the thing I so dislike about her? Well, if I had to narrow it down to one reason, it would be the fact that she is so robotic. She
has no personality of her own, and says only what Disney allows her to say. All of her answers are carefully scripted, and, in general, people think that she just naturally this clean, all-American girl who is just so perfect in every way. But in truth, she’s like every other child star. She has her
share of faults and mistakes. From flashing her bra to taking suggestive photos with her girlfriends, Ms. Cyrus is far from the perfect teen. And yet Disney covers these incidents up, and we never hear any mention of them again, and any other time she makes a mistake or slip up, Disney writes her an apology
she can give to all the nervous mothers of the world who think that their daughters are going to become crazy teens like Miley Cyrus. Trust me, moms, the only thing Miley Cyrus might be able to turn your kid into is a TV zombie.
Montana, U.S. state; Not talented singer
By Alexandra Glagola
HRA dress regulations not up to code By Dai Young Kim Over the past two years, the Hampton Roads Academy dress code has become stricter and, to some, ridiculous. Students may even have problems in grasping what it was like before dress code detentions. Before, dress code was simply enforced by teachers, who warned the student to tuck in their shirt. But now, thanks to technology, the teachers send e-mails to students stating they
have detentions the next day. Many students do not even deserve the detention. Brian Osbourne received a detention from an HRA teacher, Mr. Schindler, because Osbourne was in the process of tucking in his shirt while walking in from an off-campus lunch. Mr. Schindler spotted him and gave him a detention. Another student, Brendan Frantz, had a hooded sweatshirt on his arms, not on his body,
when, once again, Mr. Schindler gave him another detention. Now what happens when one gets a detention? Hampton Roads Academy’s punishment for a violation of dress code is to do the custodians’ work, which demeans the work and the people who do it on a routine basis. One of the HRA custodians said it’s not right for students to do her job. Since she is getting paid for doing her job, she believes students should not have to help
her as a punishment. She wants students to do their job, which is to study and do well in school. HRA promotes honor respect and responsibility as its core values. But shouldn’t there also be respect for custodians as well? Disrespecting them by making students do their jobs as a punishment is wrong and should be stopped immediately.
SPORTS
4 Vol. VI Issue I
By Dai Young Kim Students and Faculty are constantly reminded of the accomplishments done by student athletes in school. But what about the athletes out of school? People may look at Alexandria Carpenter and see a shy, quiet girl. But did you know she is an ice-skating phenomenon? Carpenter, for the last 10 years, has been performing and competing in a graceful sport she loves. During her
Out-of-school sports at HRA
sophomore year, she decided to travel abroad to Holland, where she competed in the nationals, which is not a small feat. When questioned about how she can juggle her interests and schoolwork she replies, “Easily. I skate before school.” Sarah Vogt also has to balance her passion for dance with school and her social lives. Sarah Vogt has been dancing for a shocking 14 years. She has learned ballet, point, lyrical and jazz throughout her dancing
career and continues to expand her knowledge of dance. She challenges herself by competing on her dance competition team at Poquoson Dance Academy. Her passion for dance has not only made a difference on her, but also on her friends. Ryan Ellen, the soccer superstar, has been playing soccer for 14 years also. He started at the age of 4 with kids soccer and grew up playing select soccer. He looks up to David Beckham and strives to
The Compass
be like him. He juggles playing soccer for the varsity team at HRA as well as for Virginia Legacy select team. He’s a strong leader who helps teammates with soccer advice and strategies. Not only is he a sports fanatic, he also enjoys politics and supports John McCain in his campaign for president. Aside from sports and politics, he enjoys reading by the fireplace on chilly winter nights.
The Hampton Roads Academy sailing team
By Jeffrey Wallace
The Hampton Roads Academy Sailing Team has experienced a great deal of success over the years. The team been recognized in the local area and throughout the state, achieving a “three-peat” by winning consecutive state sailing titles beginning in 2000. The HRA Sailing Team was established that year. The team belongs to the Virginia Intercollegiate Sailing Association and competes against independent schools, including Norfolk Collegiate, Norfolk Academy, Walsingham Academy, Christchurch School, St. Christopher’s School, and St. Gertrude High School and public schools Poquoson, Maury and Smithfield. The team sails from the Hampton Yacht Club, and is coached by Mark Newmann and advised by John Hilburger, an HRA teacher and father of Emily and Kurt Hilburger. Currently, 14 sailors make up the roster, ten boys and four girls. The team is
comprised mainly of lowerclassing Sunday afternoons, to practice. men and Many of novices to us use the sport. Sunday “This afterseason has noons to definitely finish the been a endless rebuildamounts ing year of homefor use work because we that our lost six of teachers our veteran assign. sailors due The to gradusailors’ ation,” willingsays senior ness to Captain pracWesley Jotice on seph. The Sundays challenge shows of being how inexpericomPhoto by Jeffrey Wallace enced has mitted motivated they are to the team to work hard. The sailors HRA sailing. devote three days per week, includ- “The practices have been
Seniors ask an epic question: By Stefan Le Noach As the years have gone by, Hampton Roads Academy has seen a plethora of students come through the doors that have amazed us with their talents. From the incredible athleticism of Tommy Yevak, to the jaw-dropping drum solos of Lee Spratley, to the intellectual and academic domination of Jordan Le Noach by way of robots, HRA has always been a breeding
ground for excellence. However there is one student in particular that has had a profound impact on the school as well as on my personal existence. I am talking about, of course, Asa Jackson. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of meeting Asa, just imagine what you get if Andre 3000, Dwight Howard, Brad Pitt as Achilles from the movie Troy, Socrates, and Vin-
great this year,” said Joseph. “Our coach has been teaching the team basic and advanced tactics such as roll tacking, wing-on-wing, points of sail, and line set that will enable us to become a better team. Coach Newman makes practice fun, but he pushes us accordingly.” Joseph declares that the goal for HRA sailing this year is to teach the lowerclassmen as much as possible so that they build upon their skills during their remaining years on the team. “The potential of this team is enormous. I am sure if we continue to work hard and strive to be the best we can, the
future of HRA sailing looks as bright as ever,” said Joseph. With the help of Coach Newman, the sailors’ dedication, and newly acquired knowledge of the sport, the future indeed looks bright and successful for the team.
O Asa Jackson, where art thou?
cent Van Gogh all got together and fathered a child. Asa seems to have bridged the gap between genders. Girls want him; guys want to be him. Even small animals are attracted to him and become docile when in his presence. His intense, deep, and disturbing works of art that used to decorate the walls of HRA, his athletic dominance in football, track, and basketball, and his philosophical beliefs have
all left marks on this school. In fact, the senior class has dedicated most of the chalkboard in the senior lounge to a list of “Things I want to do to Asa Jackson,” where any input by any individual is welcome. Activities range on the list from giving him a piggy back ride, to playing twister, to simply “chocolate sauce.” As I watch the list grow from day to day, it is clear to me that Asa has had a significant effect
on my fellow seniors. However, one question keeps surfacing in the lounge regarding Asa which no one has yet been able to answer: What happened to him after he left HRA? Some people claim that he went to Africa to become a farmer; others argue that he now resides in a mansion in Wiscanson. Still others say that he went to Belgium to become the owner of a pet store. Whatever the case may be, if anyone reading this knows of any of the whereabouts of Asa Jackson, post any information on the chalkboard in the senior lounge.
Volume VI Issue I
FEATURES
5
‘Gators aid N’Awlins Katrina victims
By Sarah Vogt While many Hampton Roads Academy students were relaxing at the beach or traveling to exotic and far-away lands, a group of 23 students and four faculty members gave up a week of their summer to participate in a community service project in New Orleans. The group consisted of seniors Mario Buffa, Madison Curran, Devin Harris-Wolf, Marcy Johnson, Alex Margolin, Stephanie Margolin, Sarah Matheson, Brian Osborne, Cello Pierce, Prateek Reddy, Evan Rutherford, Anne Saville, Drew Small, Edward Smith, Donovan Tyson, Sarah Vogt and Cole Wheeler. The trip also included juniors Brian Basnight, Courtney Crowder, Carmen Lucas, Margot Mellette, Whitney Shepard and Isabella Todero.
The students were accompanied by four highly dedicated and enthusiastic chaperones: Mr. Cory Mac Lauchlin, former upper school English teacher, Ms. Meredith Reynolds, former upper school English teacher; Mr. Aaron Hill, former head of the upper school, and Mrs. Elizabeth Rous, upper school guidance counselor. The HRA volunteers worked with the St. Bernard Project, a sister organization of Habitat for Humanity. According to the project’s Web site, their mission is to “remove barriers for families who wish to move back into their homes in St. Bernard Parish, Louisiana. St. Bernard is a uniquely tight-knit, working/ middle class community adjacent to New Orleans’ Lower
Ninth Ward and is arguably the area hardest hit by Hurricane Katrina.” HRA’s group of 27 toiled away in the blazing heat, laboring in smaller groups on a total of three houses. They sanded, painted, texturized, mudded, put up dry-wall, primed, shockwaved and removed mold. While the service trip to New Orleans last summer was extremely rewarding and an experience never to be forgotten, one must wonder whether there will be another one. With the loss of three key coordinators – MacLauchlin, Reynolds and Hill – planning another trip may not be feasible. However, seniors Sarah Matheson and Devin HarrisWolf are focusing their senior project on helping the St. Bernard Project in a way that will be possible. While they are making a documentary chroni-
cling last year’s trip, it is not their main focus. They hope to establish a foundation, as well as annual fundraisers, to support the St. Bernard Project. Matheson revealed that they will be arranging another New Orleans-based art show, much like the one she planned last year. However, she admits that she cannot give any of their other ideas away; we will just have to be surprised. While the status of the trip is up in the air, Matheson and Harris-Wolf are making sure that our HRA community can still continue to support a welldeserving cause.
By Nicholas Mobley If you’re like most people, you’ve probably been concerned about the environment lately. I certainly have. I love the environment. It tastes delicious. But all kidding aside, the planet on which we live (Earth, in case you didn’t know) is facing some serious challenges. And, as if these weren’t enough, the world and its inhabitants must now face a new lethal threat: a vast man-eating army of black holes. That’s right, folks; cash in your chips, buy that Ferrari and cheat on your taxes this year, because the world is coming to an end. It has been determined by paranoiacs worldwide (and if we can’t trust them, who can we trust?) that mini black holes will soon devour our peaceful planet. And you are never going to guess where these little harbingers of death are coming from: Switzerland. Surprising, no? I always assumed the Swiss were the last nation anyone would expect to
destroy the world, right behind Tuvalu (real country – look it up!!). So nobody expected anything serious when the Large Hadron Collider project was drawn up. Had anyone else, including Tuvalu, proposed this sort of thing, they would have been quietly run over in the parking lot after the International Science Summit and Swatch Watch Expo. But, enough of that. What should we do about the black holes? Well, let’s first go over the various cons and pros of an LHCsourced apocalypse: - CONS: There is a distinct possibility that the entire world along with its inhabitants will be destroyed by a bizarre scientific anomaly, instantly wiping out any trace of life in the
universe and crushing all hopes that the human race will prevail through its tribulations. -PROS: Billy Ray Cyrus will be sucked into oblivion, too. As you can see, the cons (just barely) outweigh the pros. So we definitely need some way to minimize the damage caused by the black holes of death. I suggest we go ahead and offer Billy Ray as a live human sacrifice. Maybe the black holes will be satisfied and let us continue our peaceful (ha ha!) existence, or even better, demand more live celebrity offerings. Wait a minute – maybe they were onto something! That actually wouldn’t be so bad. Imagine a world in which, on a semidaily basis, annoying celebrities are hurled into giant Swiss
black holes! It would be great! Perhaps we should start giving these scientists more grants. Forget subatomic particles; I wanna see Brangelina get eaten. Please let me know if you are also interested in this possibility, and perhaps we could write up a proposition to the LHC people. I will be able to be reached at my black-hole bunker, 2412 Wombat Boulevard, Funafuti, Tuvalu. AUTHOR’S NOTE: The author wishes to make it known that he was just joking when he made the opening remark about the environment. Honestly. He’s actually a really ecological guy. He recycles and turns off his lights and everything. So if any of you Earth-conscious ladies out there were considering maybe getting to know him better but were turned off by some wisecrack he made in a humor column, he would like you to know that…NO, WAIT. COME BACK! I SWEAR I DIDN’T MEAN IT!
Black holes a fitting end for minor celebrities
6 Vol. VI Issue I
Features
The one-acts: a night of laughs and community
By Emily Kinkead In the second year of this Hampton Roads Academy event, wonderful acts were chosen. Three were shown: Christopher Durang’s “The Actor’s Nightmare” and “For Whom the Southern Belle Tolls,” as well as Colleen Neuman’s “Admissions.” All three were excellent. Mr. Gandolfo directed the two Durang pieces and Vanessa Arvidson (Class of 2010) directed “Admissions,, with assistant director, sophomore Robyn Walters. “The Actor’s Nightmare” was about a man named George, played by senior Alex Fenker, who wanders on stage, oblivious to what is happening. People start to approach him, saying things like, “Are you ready?”, and calling him different names. He goes through three different shows, lost in every one. Meg, played by senior Jenna Cheney, serves as the stage manager who constantly has to come on and give George his lines. Sarah, played by junior Margot Mellette; Ellen, played by junior Paige Wineinger; and Henry, played by freshman Matthew Rivera, are all characters George comes in contact with during the piece. All would get frustrated with his lack of memorization of the different lines, and comedy comes from the conflict and confusion. “Admissions” was on the subject of Heaven. Evelyn, played by senior Lauren McKinley, falls off of a ladder and dies. She winds up in a waiting room, where the receptionist, played by junior Tori Cooke, tells her, Mark, played by sophomore John Quarstein, is ready to talk with her. Evelyn does not know where she is and becomes very distraught, but as memories, both happy and sad, come back, she calms herself. At one point, china from her childhood brought out by her Aunt Syl (Cooke) helps her become less panicked; waitress Jeanine, played by freshman Stephanie Parker, even knows her favorite tea. And when given the opportunity to re-live any moment of her life, Evelyn immediately returns to an instance where she was less than kind to a poor peer of hers, Rita Sue (Stephanie Parker). She does the right thing, being friendly to the shy girl, and it makes Evelyn feel better about no longer living, knowing that she tried to do good. “For Whom the Southern Belle Tolls” was a piece all about misunderstanding and human nature. Amanda, played by junior Ani Marty, is getting ready to have her son Tom, played by junior Nick Livingstone, and his lady friend, Ginny, played by junior Katie Lockwood, over for supper. Her other son, Lawrence, played by sophomore Will Atkins, suffers from countless ‘imaginary’ ailments. With a fascination with drink stirrers and lack of social graces, Lawrence is not ready to have guests over to their home. Amanda is not pleased with Tom for bringing Ginny, a loud-speaking and gum-chewing, “warehouse girl” to supper, but what’s a hostess to do? As the show progresses, you learn more about the characters. It ends with Tom giving a speech about leaving home and eventually missing it (though this fleeing was all in his mind). The clever dialogue and strong character development made all three of the one-acts memorable. The actors, directors, and crew did a great job. Everyone should mark their calendars for the next show, “Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” which opes on Nov. 7. The production crew did good work as well. Junior Priya Vyas was stage manager, with eighth-grader Saskia Price as assistant stage manager. The technical directors were sophomores Peter Chiappa and Nick Mobley. Costumes were provided by Ms. Troyansky and the cast.
The Compass
Loyalty to Loyalty by Cold War Kids
by John Quarstein
The Cold War Kids second release is a hit-and-miss collection of songs that fails to surpass their debut “Robbers and Cowards.” The album starts off with a lukewarm opener that would do little to suck a new listener in, however from there the album manages to keep a good flow going. Some of the highlights from this part of the album are “Every Valley Is Not a Lake,” which tells the story of a mother telling her daughter about the ways her mother had raised her and to respect the differences. The single of the album, “Something Is Not Right With Me,” is similar to the main single from “Robbers,” “Hang Me Up To Dry,” in that it is a fast song, quickly sung with a definite repeated chorus. While this forms a strong single, it would have been nice for something different. After that come two of the album’s other key highlights, “Welcome to the Occupation” and “Golden Gate Jumpers.” Both are strong songs with well-expressed stories or messages. The former has the strongest and only political statement of the album, expressing the averaging of society’s outliers. “Golden Gate Jumpers,” on the other hand, is more in line with the previous album in that it tells the tale of a common worker confronted with a girl attempting to commit suicide off the Golden Gate Bridge. However, after these strong notes, the album’s main flaw appears. The slower songs on the album simply break the rhythm of the previous faster paced songs and are not nearly as strong either. But there is an exception to every rule; two exceptions in this case that of “Every Man I Fall For” and “On The Night That My Love Broke Through.” Both shine through the slow gloom with the strong stories that the band is known to be able to create. One further highlight, “I’ve Seen Enough,” follows one of the less-than -positive short songs and manages to try and bring the rhythm back from before the setback. It does to an extent with the sheer strength of the song but it still does not distract from the failure. However all is not lost in that the imagery of “Dreams Old Men Dream” shines through and is some of the better song-writing on the album. On a side note, a distinct electronic edge can be felt at the beginning of “Something Is Not Right With Me” and also throughout the penultimate song “Relief” The album then ends with weak song creating a bookend effect of weakness for an otherwise fairly strong album that manages to leave fans of the band with contentment and only slight disappointment but may fail to attract many new listeners.
Joe and Mima’s
By Stefan Le Noach
Many students at Hampton Roads Academy are familiar with the restaurant Joe and Mima’s as the great authentic Italian restaurant owned by the parents of Mario and Vinny Buffa. I have had the pleasure of dining at this establishment several times and I am here to report that the food is great and the prices are fair. I don’t know if it’s the homemade tomato sauce, the mouth-watering chicken breast, the perfectly cooked pasta, or Mario’s beautiful face staring back at me from across the table, but every time I leave Joe and Mima’s I leave with an unforgettable dining experience. If you’re looking for a reason to become friends with Mario and can’t find one, you get a discount off your food when you come to the restaurant with him. Joe and Mima’s is amazing and I encourage everyone to go visit this restaurant as soon and as often as possible.
‘Myth Takes’ Serves as Dance-Punk Prototype By John Quarstien Dear reader, what you are now reading is the first of hopefully many articles to follow of John Q’s Media Player. Now you’re probably wondering: “Who is John Q? and Why do I care what he listens to/ watches?” Well hopefully I can answer those with what I’m doing. If not it was worth a shot. This column will be a selection of two or three movies or albums from my private collection that either were missed by the public eye or just snuck completely by under the radar in various ways. For this first column, I’ve chosen to do “Myth Takes” by the group !!! and the film “A Scanner Darkly.” Myth Takes by !!!, pronounced Chk Chk Chk, is one of the better ex-
amples of dance-punk music. It blurs lines between indie, dance, electronica, and rock. The music style swings from song to song, sometimes in each song itself. !!! craft extremely witty and powerful songs about almost anything. This album is their finest in recording quality but a tie for greatest album with their one of their previous recordings, “Louden Up Now.” The album opener, “Myth Takes,” begins with a sudden start that sucks the listener in for the ride. This is the type of music that, if played at a club, would fill the dance floor almost instantly. Another great song from the album is “Must Be the Moon,” which tells the tale of a guy meeting a girl at a club and the night that follows. A song I personally hold
among the top three of the album is “Yadnus,” which has a very odd almost glam feel to it, with strong beats along with the singer’s change in voice to a falsetto for part of the song. Two other highlights are “Bend Over Beethoven”, an eightminute epic and “Infinifold,” the album closer that brings the album to a slow end with a much more typical Indie song feel. Overall the album is worth looking into for anyone with the time or interest. “A Scanner Darkly” is one of the more mindbending American movies of recent years; based on Philip K. Dick’s novel of the same name. Starring Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Robert Downey Jr., and Woody Harrelson and directed by Richard Linklater. It tells the tale of Bob Arctor, a dealer of the deadly drug “Substance D” in the near
future. Bob lives happily with his friends in a house in California. However, in truth, Bob is an undercover agent sent to become immersed in the drug culture. Because of his status none of his superiors know his place in the Arctor house and refer to him as Fred. As such, he is assigned to set up a sting operation for himself, Bob Arctor. Because of the effects of prolonged usage of “Substance D”, Arctor begins to have difficulty distinguishing between himself and Fred, and reality and hallucinations. The film is unique in that every frame of the film was filmed then animated over in a technique called roto-scoping to give an interesting quality to the film. As such every minute of animation took 500 hours of work with 50 animators working full time every day for several months. One of Linklater’s earlier films “Waking Life” uses the same technique. The film at its core has many ethical questions especially revolving around the ending and also has a very strong anti-drug message. The film overall is incredible and is worth seeing for all of the above.
Vol. V Issue IV
Features The ultimate gated community
7 The Compass
Hi, my name is....
By Alexa Andersen Walking through the doors to Hampton Roads Academy might not seem like a big deal, but those who walk through the doors for the first time feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety and excitement. When I walked through the doors on that first day at HRA I was nervous. Going to a new school with totally new people, classrooms, and teachers was enough to create anxiety. I walked through the doors and immediately felt overwhelmed. The doors and hallways meant nothing to me and soon I was directed to the Upper School Office. Those who have attended HRA for many years may not realize, but the “who are you?” looks on their faces generate the most fear in newcomers on the first day of school. Everyone watching, wondering who you are, and questioning what kind of person you are, just staring.
As the day progresses, there are introductions to each class, which is the standard for starting at a new school. It is an overwhelming feeling to start at a new school, learning the classrooms and especially at HRA, the very confusing placement of the science hallway. It is important to remember that not every new person knows everything, and that encouragement and friendly greetings are essential. This is something I was surprised about, that most of my classmates were willing to help me in any way they could. Remember, new students appreciate all the help they can get. Next time you see a new student introduce yourself. It’s as easy as, “Hi, my name is….”
By Alexa Andersen Protected by armed security guards, fighter planes, and gates, Langley Air Force Base is a community for those who serve in the U.S. Air Force. The mystery of the base is alluring for those who have never experienced life inside the heavily protected gates. Every Air Force Base houses everything from a grocery store and gas station, to houses for those in the Air Force and their families. Because Air Force life requires constant relocation, there is housing available for families and dorms available for single airmen. There is a limited amount of housing so those who live behind the gates are privileged. The size of the house depends on the rank of the Air Force member. In addition to dorms for single airmen, those who have the higher ranks have the bigger and more private housing, while those officers who are lower in rank live in duplexes. The base holds everything needed to live functionally without having to leave. There is entertainment in the form of a movie theatre, bowling alley, and a fitness center. This allows members of the Air Force community places where they can be entertained without having to drive far away. This creates the atmosphere of a small town because everything is within easy driving or walking range, making everything convenient and easier for the families who have devoted their lives to the Air Force. Now you know, next time you drive by Langley that inside the mysterious gates lies a small city of people living, working, flying, and socializing. There is little difference between the base and Newport News except for the intimidating security and the typical dress: military uniforms.
Casanova’s guide to scoring a dance date
By Nicholas Mobley Ah, it’s that time of year again. School spirit electrifies the air; girl that it’s okay; nobody can easily cook a live lobster. This skillthe team gears up for the big game; young romance flutters through ful move can make for a really romantic moment, at least until the the air like a songbird. And, once again, I am sorely reminded of lobster regains a grip on things and shears off your finger like a stick the fact that I can’t get a date. Yep, it’s time to come dancin’. of butter. Both lobster and finger fall into the pot of boiling water, I’m sure you’re thinking about how and your romantic dinner now consists of a you’re going to approach Homecoming – or frantic drive to the E.R., with you spurting any of the other dances – this year. Of course blood all over her upholstery. The rest of you’re not. You’re thinking about the giant Homecoming is spent in a delightful morpimple on your face, hoping to God it goes phine-induced haze, while your girlfriend away before the dance. fills out paperwork at the receptionist’s desk I’ll bet you haven’t given a second and really begins to wonder whether it was thought to anything else. Well, have no fear, even worth getting with your wacko self in because in addition to writing humor colthe first place. umns, I also just happen to hold the title of 2) Transportation – Your Mom’s SUV: Supreme Love Monkey (who still doesn’t No. Black Town Car: Getting Warmer. have a date, but who asked you? Shut up). Private Helicopter: Bingo. Yeah, okay, so it’s And I intend to reveal to you how to have the a bit expensive, but are you gonna show up perfect dance this year. Follow the following: Nick Mobley tries out his dating tips looking cheap? Rent a helicopter. Imagine 1) Dinner -- Oh, sure, all you guys out there, you could eat a the look on your date’s face when everyone else is driving, and you sandwich in the car on the way to pick up your date, but why not arrive on the roof. He/she will, once again, be struck speechless. take her out to eat? No, scratch that – why not make dinner your- Hopefully, in a good way. self? The premier choice here would be lobster. Purchase one at 3) Music – You’ll definitely want a good soundtrack to your Wal-Mart and gift-wrap it. Set it down on a table and cover com- night, something that will stay in your memories three months later pletely with wrapping paper, giving the lobster directions such as, when you’re lying curled up on the floor, rocking back and forth and “Okay, you slime-covered, armor-plated, stalk-eyed freak, hold clutching your head and… Er, never mind. A good DJ should have still.” Once you’ve gotten that done, store it in a moist place until a playlist full of the requisite rock songs and romantic slow jams, as the proper time. When your girlfriend is getting her keys and coat well as today’s hip-hop hits including I’m An [expletive], Hey [exand preparing to go out to dinner, just say, “Wait a minute, baby. pletive] the [expletive], and Can’t [expletive] the [expletive] [expleI’ve got a better idea.” Hand her the wrapped lobster. If you’re as tive] [expletive]. lucky as I was, she’ll be speechless. Now, here’s the thing: ask her So there you have it: How to have the perfect Homecoming if she’d like to watch you cook the lobster. She may not be able to dance. Don’t bother thanking me; I can see the adoring gratitude in handle cooking a live lobster, what with the flailing and ungodly your eyes. There’s just one thing that’s got me confused. Considerscreaming and spraying blood and exploding eyeballs. That’s fine; ing all my great advice, my incredible writing prowess, my dashing just give her a supportive hug and offer to do it yourself. Casugood looks, and the fact that I finally got rid of that pimple, I can’t ally plunge the lobster into the boiling water while reassuring your begin to imagine why I’m still single. TCID:BW
Vol. VI Issue I
PHOTO FINISH
ATTACK OF THE TWINS!
8 The Compass
Students donned matching outfits as part of Twin Day, an always-enjoyable part of Homecoming Week at Hampton Roads Academy. While we at The Compass regret that we can’t print all of the great twin pictures we got, we loved the imagination and cleverness diplayed on twin day and all through the rest of Spirit Week. We would also like to congradulate Anne-Hampton Wall and Nora Blalock on winning the twin day competition and being voted the best duo. Great job! Mr. Schindler and his youthful wards -- and Britney Spears clones -Caroline Suttle and Hannah Smith, watch the Spirit Week festivities.
Anne-Hampton Wall and Nora Blalock unleash the Dark Side.
From left to right: Emalee Sarrett, Jessie Suttle, and Nicole Rento as pajama pals.
Trevina Joseph and Lauren McKinley prove that blue hair never goes out of style.
Julian Whitehurst and Carmen Hoene show their love for 1990’s cartoons with their matching Rugrats costumes.