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3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012 (602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero ............................................ jacktesorero@me.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ..................................................... kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown ................................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR .......................................................... Austin Head GRAPHIC DESIGNER ......................................... Angel Jimenez SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR ..................... Stacey Jay Cavaliere PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS
ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero, .......................................................... (602) 750-1164
jacktesorero@me.com
Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ......................... (520) 429-5905
ionazsales@me.com
ADVERTISING CONSULTANT Bill Knoop ................................................................. (602) 301-8457
Photographers:
Fernando Hernandez Danny Catt Scotty Kirby Sean Kapera Franklin Diaz National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:
Wes Bergman Stacey Jay Cavaliere Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly C. Edwards
Ted Kirby Albert Rivas Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez Miss Tiger
Published monthly by
1995-2014: 19 Years of Design and Creative Excellence Š 2014 JMT Designs, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.
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Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.
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Phoenix pride
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM
STEELE INDIAN SCHOOL PARK
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Get Ready for a Wet & Wild Summer
irst of all, I want to thank all the people who volunteered and came out to Splash Bash, helped build our Phoenix Pride parade float and worked our booth at the Phoenix Pride Festival. Thank you Helix Studios, Phoenix Sunfish, the Arizona Gay Volleyball Association, Conard Franz and Justin Owen. Thanks for everything! When I was in middle school, I was a library assistant. I eagerly awaited the sports magazines’ arrival in the off chance they’d printed pictures of hot guys in swimsuits. They rarely did until one year Sports Illustrated featured Australian lifeguards. I was so excited! I’m admitting now, for the first time, that I removed the magnetic security strip and put it in my backpack and it found its way to my bathroom. Oh the joy! Keep in mind that this was the 80s and it was either that or the Sears catalog. You’re all so lucky today. After all, now you have ION. We proudly present our annual swimsuit
issue with some of the hottest, sexiest people in our community wearing suits from Macy’s, Tan United and the new Hub clothing store on Central Avenue near Camelback Road. Get your new swimsuit today! You’ll want to show it off at Gay Days Arizona on May 9-10. We have a great interview with sexy porn producer/star, activist and now documentary filmmaker Michael Lucas about the anti-LGBT situation in Russia. We also added more Party Cams than ever before from Splash Bash, the Phoenix Pride Parade, Pride Festival and from our new, crazy photo booth. Plus, we’ve got events, theatre, reviews, guides, horoscopes, cartoons and more—all in an easy to read format. Thank you for reading, thank you for your input and for supporting our advertisers. We need you and—hopefully—you need us. As long as that’s true, we’ll be here for you.
Jack M. Tesorero Publisher
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super hero party
BS WEST
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM
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BLACK N BLUE BALL
FOR ALL THE GREAT PICS VISIT IONAZ.COM
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PALAZZO
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DRAG SHOWS • MEN OF STRUT • GOGO BOYS UNDERWEAR NIGHT • SHOW TUNES • KARAOKE
Always something going on...
For the latest Events, Show Times, and Drink Specials visit
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2-4-1 HAPPY HOUR
4:00-8:00pm EVERY DAY on almost EVERYTHING!
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MARTINIS 10:00AM8:00 PM
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Cinco de Mayo ¡Olé! It’s America’s favorite Mexican holiday, the Cinco de Mayo! Karamba is the place to be May 3-5! There’s a party on Saturday, May 3 with mariachis and afterhours. Sunday afternoon is Barbra Seville’s Salsa Challenge at 2 p.m. and a special show with Diamond that night and Karaoke on Monday, May 5. ¡Andele pronto! 1724 E. McDowell Rd. 602-254-0231 KarambaNightclub.com See ads pp. 8-9
Gay Days Arizona You’ve never seen a party like this! Get ready for five days of parties for guys ‘n’ gals from May 8-12! Volleyball, tournaments, a Community Expo, golf, masquerade and pool parties galore and all the sun and fun you can handle at the Oasis Water Park & Pavilion of the luxurious Arizona Grand Resort. 8000 Arizona Grand Pkwy. in Phoenix. You won’t want to miss out! Check out GayDaysAZ.com for your tickets. Many specials available! See ad p. 66
Party at The Rock Between “The Rock” and a hard place? Then you better plan on a party! The Rock brings back Bearracuda, Friday, May 9 and the Black Out Party on Friday, May 23. Don’t forget, it’s their Fifth Anniversary on Sunday, May 25 with a party at noon! 4129 N. 7th St. Phone: 602-248-2559 TheRockDMPhoenix.com. See ads on pp. 12-13
Get Lei’d at Dick’s Cabaret Well, aloha! Come see the Big Kahunas dancing the time honored ritual dances of the islands on stage. Without any clothes, of course! Not even a grass skirt! It’s the annual “Get Lei’d” party at Dick’s Cabaret where they put the “wow!” in “luau!” Friday and Saturday, May 16-17. 3432 E. Illini. Phoenix. 602-274-DICK DicksCabaret.com See ad p. 78
Pool Party at FLEX Make Memorial Day one to remember ... at FLEX Spa Phoenix! Check out their new giant steam sauna! Lockers are only $1 and there’s a pool party from 1-4 p.m. Sunbathe au naturel and get rid of those pesky tan lines! They’ve got a DJ, the Wild Men of the West and a FREE barbeque! Just watch out which weenie lands on the grill. And wait ‘til you try their “buns!” 1517 S. Black Canyon Hwy., Phoenix. 602-271-9011 FLEXspas.com See ad p. 97
Charlie’s Beach Party Weekend It’s a three day weekend, whaddya gonna do? If you can’t make it to the Pacific Ocean join in the fun at Charlie’s for their annual Beach Party Weekend, May 23-25 with After Hours! Dig in! There’s a FREE buffet at the ol’ chuckwagon on Monday, buckaroos, so chow down! Pussy LeHoot’s 14th Annual Memorial Day starts at 1 p.m. where you never know what will happen! Well, take a wild guess! 727 W. Camelback Rd. 602-265-0224 CharliesPhoenix.com See ad p. 21
MAY 2014 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE
Sun. Mon. Tues. Fri. 3 3 3-5 2-4 7 8-12 10 9 9-10 16 16-17 22 23 23 23-25 25 25 25 26 30
EVENT
Tea Dance Sundays Dollar Lockers Salsa Lessons/DJ Tsunami Wet Fridays Mr. Turk Trunk Show Jell-O Wrestling/Auction Cinco de Mayo Weekend Imperial Court Coronation Pride Gala Gay Days Arizona Night for Life Bearracuda 10th Anniversary Weekend Conjunto Poder “Get Lei’d” Party 4th Anniversary Party WET Fridays Black Out Party Beach Party Weekend Lady Gaga Ticket Giveaway Carnaval Latino Fifth Anniversary Party Memorial Day Pool Party Customer Appreciation Party
LOCATION
Zorf’s Flex Spa Charlie’s Charlie’s HUB The Slaughterhouse Karamba’s Wyndham Garden Hotel FireSky Resort Arizona Grand Resort Phx Convention Center The Rock Apollo’s Phoenix Karamba Dick’s Karamba Charlie’s The Rock Charlie’s AQUA Karamba The Rock FLEX Spa Karamba
CITY
Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Tucson Tucson Phoenix Scottsdale Tempe Phoenix (p 46) Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix
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Photography by Scotty Kirby Photo Booth pics by Crazy Shotz Helix Studios Models are Andy, Liam, Ian & Kody Other models are Alex and Michael Swimsuits provided by Tan United Collection 4700 N Central Ave #116, Phoenix, (602) 274-8268
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SPLASH BASH
S EE A L L YOUR SP L A S H BA S H PA R T Y CA M S
PHOENIX PRIDE KICK-OFF PART Y
A ND
PIC S AT IO N A Z.COM
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Tammie Brown at IBT’s She’s wacky! She’s kooky! But everybody admits that there’s nobody like the “Clam Happy” Miss Tammie Brown, All Star contestant from “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Artiste extraordinaire, an evening with songstress and entertainer Tammie is one you’ll never forget! Catch her performance on Friday, May 16 at 9 p.m. at IBT’s! Hosted by China Collins with Janée Starr and Tempest du Jour. 616 N. 4th Ave. Tucson. 520-882-3053 IBTsTucson.com See ad on p. 99
MAY 2014 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Friday 16 9:00pm IBT’s Tammie Brown Sunday 18 Karamba Diamond’s Birthday Party Mon 26 1:00pm Kobalt Memorial Day Divas with TC Taylor Mondays 10:00pm Charlie’s Barbra Seville w/ Strippers! Mondays 10:00pm Apollo’s Naughty or Nice Bingo with Lezbein & Eryka D. Knowles Tuesday 10:00pm Karamba Savannah Moussier’s Show Wednesdays 9:00pm IBT’s Viva La DIVA Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba Girls of Karamba - Adriana Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste Wednesdays 9:00pm Kobalt 2 Girls 1 Cup with Celia Putty & Guest Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Nevaeh’s High Heels & Halos Thursdays 9:30pm The Bar Showtime at the Bar with Ian and Barbra Thursdays 10:30pm Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Thursdays AQUA Maniqiues with Tyra Marie & Sasha Bratz Fridays 10:30 The Rock Special Event Rotating Drag Shows Fridays 7:00pm OZ Ruby Reynolds with the Boys of OZ Fridays 9:00pm IBT’s Absolutely Flawless with China Collins Fridays 10:00pm Cruisin’ 7th The Barbra Seville Show Fridays 9:00pm BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers 1st Saturday 9:30pm Kobalt Taylor Made with TC Taylor & Special Guests Saturdays 8:00pm OZ Saturday Night Showgirlz with Ruby Saturdays 9:00pm IBT’s Starrletts with Janee Star Saturdays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams Saturdays 10:00pm The Rock The Barbra Seville Show Saturdays 10:00pm icepics The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan Saturdays 9:30pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show Saturdays 9:30pm Zorf’s BeDazzled 1st & 3rd Sun. 12:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Sunday Morning Madness with Miss Celia Putty Sundays AQUA Siluetas with Susana Sundays 8:30pm Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends Sundays 10:30pm Karamba Ruby’s Sunday Follies May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 37
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Avenue Q A wise and zany coming of age parable with the angst, anxiety and other “issues” about growing up—told “Sesame Street”-style with hilarious, foul-mouthed, singing puppets living in New York City. One of Phoenix Theatre’s alltime favorite productions continues through May 25. Phoenix Theatre: 100 E. McDowell Rd. For info and tickets visit PhoenixTheatre.com or call 602-254-2151
Kathy Griffin Anderson Cooper’s favorite loudmouthed, lovable, laughable redhead has an opinion on just about everything and she’ll let you know it. The Kardashians, Cher, her own mother ... no one is spared. She’s tellin’ it like it ‘tis on Friday, May 9 at the Gila River Casino - Wild Horse Pass, 5040 Wild Horse Pass Blvd. in Chandler. For tickets call 800--WIN-GILA x 7370
Young Frankenstein: the musical “You take the blonde, I’ll take the one in the turban!” Young Dr. Frankenstein completes his grandfather’s work reanimating a singing/dancing sex-fiend corpse with hilarious complications. They’ll be puttin’ on the Ritz from May 23-June 22 at Arizona Broadway Theatre, 7701 W. Paradise Ln. in Peoria. For tickets visit AZbroadway.org or call 623-776-8400.
MAY 2014 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION Weds. Uptown Comedy Night Apollo’s Lounge - Phx 1-18 Venus In Fur AZ Theatre Co.-Phx 2-18 Purlie Black Theatre Troupe 9 Kathy Griffin Wild Horse Pass 9-11 Jon Lovitz StandUp Live - Phx 10 Mario Cantone Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 10 Red Green: How To Do Everything Celebrity Theatre thru 10 The Pornozombies! Nearly Naked Theatre thru 10 Heyre Be Dragons Space55 Theatre thru 11 Wait Until Dark Mesa Encore Theatre thru 11 Good People Actors Theatre - Phx 16-17 George Lopez Celebrity Theatre thru 17 Entrance of Chad Deity Stray Cat Theatre 23-6/22 Young Frankenstein AZ B’way Theatre - Peoria 23-25 Christopher Titus StandUp Live - Phx thru 25 Avenue Q Phoenix Theatre thru 25 Les Miserables Phoenix Theatre 29-6/1 Tammy Pescatelli StandUp Live - Phx 31 Tim Allen Talking Stick Resort
PHONE 602-277-9373 602-256-6995 602-253-6980 800--WIN-GILA x 7370 602-719-6100 480-499-TKTS 602-267-1600 602-254-2161 Space55.org 602-644-6500 602-888-0368 602-267-1600 480-227-1766 623-776-8400 602-719-6100 602-254-2161 602-254-2151 602-719-6100 800-745-3000
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Tom Jones Still one of the ultimate hepcats-in-a-tux from the 1960s, in concert Sir Thomas Jones charmed the panties off the ladies. Literally. His iconic “Delilah” is a karaoke staple today. Mark your calendar for Wednesday, May 7, as the knighted hip Brit shakes his way to the venerable Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St. in Tucson. For tix visit RialtoTheatre.com or call 520-740-1000
Journey & Steve Miller Band “Don’t Stop Believin’” Top rockers from the 70s bring their soaring anthems to town. They’ll do it “Anyway You Want It.” And “Abracadabra!” The Steve Miller Band boards a “Jet Airliner” and joins Journey on Sunday, May 18 at the Ak-Chin Pavilion, 2121 N. 83rd Ave. in Phoenix. “Take the Money and Run!” Call TicketMaster.com or “Fly Like An Eagle” and call 800-745-3000.
OneRepublic Want something more contemporary? OneRepublic has “All The Right Moves” (and the totally hot lead singer Ryan Tedder). They’ll rock ‘n’ roll into town on Sunday, June 1 and you’ll be “Counting Stars” with them at the Ak-Chin Pavilion, 2121 N. 83rd Ave. in Phoenix. Call TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000.
MAY 2014 ION Concert Calendar DATE ARTIST LOCATION PHONE 2 The Wanted Comerica Theatre - Phoenix 800-745-3000 3 Gloria Trevi Desert Diamond Casino - Sahuarita 520-297-7777 7 Tom Jones Rialto Theatre - Tucson 520-740-1000 7 Renée Fleming Mesa Ctr. for the Arts 480-644-6500 15 Alan Jackson Casino del Sol - Tucson 800-344-9435 16 Tim McGraw Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix 800-745-3000. 18 Journey & Steve Miller Band Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix 800-745-3000. 20 Joan Osborne Musical Instrument Museum - Scotts 480-478-6000 25 Gipsy Kings Wild Horse Pass - Chandler 800--WIN-GILA x 7370 JUNE 1 OneRepublic Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix 800-745-3000 1 Bllly Joel US Airways Center - Phoenix 800-745-3000 3 Hugh Laurie Mesa Arts Ctr. 480-644-6500 May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 41
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by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net
Yo, DJ! What’s New? Coldplay –
Ghost Stories On their sixth album release Coldplay exemplifies heartache. Continuing the stripped down intimacy they’ve progressed to, Ghost Stories exemplifies that new vibe but in a much more believable setting. Though first track “Magic” comes off as tepid and forgettable, it’s on “Midnight” where real magic is heard. Its eerie underlying sound eventually erupting into a euphoric state of harmony is just plain beautiful. Other tracks of note include the foot stomping “Sky Full of Stars” and the soul-bearing yet melodic “True Love.” Although short, this album proves better than their past two offerings. Grade: B
Kina Grannis –
Elements Her debut video was named one of the Top 10 videos of the year by Time magazine and her YouTube master class on marketing catapulted her to a “bubbling over” artist to watch. On her sophomore release Kina continues her folk singer-songwriter sound and offers an album more approachable, lush and layered. Lead singles “Dear River” and “The Fire” both showcase an intimacy and maturity in concert all while sounding a bit Ellie Goulding-ish. Produced by Matt Hales (a.k.a. Aqualung), this little girl has “It.” Just listen to the stripped down version of “My Own” for a taste. GRADE: B+
The Black Keys – Turn Blue
Would you believe this is the Key’s eighth album? After the huge success of El Camino, critics and Grammy voters stood up and proclaimed this group to be a force to reckon with. Back is their producer Danger Mouse and back is their music of ingenuity. It’s sexy, psychedelic, seventies and a whole lotta bold. “Fever” exploits this new funk sound in grandiose style while the title track oozes with pure psychotropic sophistication. Other tracks of note include “Weight of Love” and “Gotta Get Away.” It starts big, it finishes with a bang and in between is a roller coaster ride that you’ll want to stay on. GRADE: ALook for other new music from: Michael Jackson, Lindsay Sterling, Sarah McLachlan, Natalie Merchant, Hunter Hayes, Lykke Li, Lily Allen, Atmosphere, Anastacia, Afrojack, Spoon, Flaming Lips and Jamie O’Neal. In other music news: Ed Sheeran is about to make 2014 his own. After getting noticed by One Direction, touring with Taylor Swift and a recent Grammy Nomination, Ed’s second release drops in June and is shaping up to be the album of the summer. Till next month!
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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Dane DeHaan In the sequel to the reboot of the remake of the film adaptation of the comic book series (whew!), Peter Parker (Garfield) reunites with his first love, Gwen Stacy (Stone), despite being warned by her now-deceased father to stay away from her. Besides playing a totally romanticif-you’re-in-high-school game of “come hither, go away” with Stacy, Peter Parker’s spidey sense also tells him that danger is afoot in the form of an Oscorp EmployeeTurned-Mutant named “Electro” (Foxx) and must be stopped. Will he save New York in time to lose his virginity at the Senior Prom while Chris DeBurgh’s, Lady in Red is playing for the slow dance? Stay tuned! Release Date: May 2
Neighbors Starring: Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, Dave Franco, Rose Byrne, Lisa Kudrow In this totally outlandish comedy directed by Nicholas Stoller (Forgetting Sarah Marshall), a young couple with a newborn baby (Rogen & Byrne) move into a new neighborhood only to discover that the house next door belongs to a fraternity where Teddy Sanders (Efron, who happens to be a ripe 26-years-old) is a member. Like many comedies about “hate thy
neighbor” the initial frustration with their incompatible agendas gives way to all-out aggression while presumably hilarity ensues. Meanwhile, this overthirty film reviewer finds herself getting hung up on one important detail: no way would a City Council permit a neighborhood to be zoned for fraternity housing and single family homes. If you’re better able to suspend disbelief than this taxpaying homeowner is, give it a go! Release Date: May 9
Maleficent Starring: Angelina Jolie, Ella Purnell, Sharito Copley, Elle Fanning In the same way that the Wizard of Oz convinced us that the Wicked Witch of the West was evil until Wicked decided to set the record straight, Maleficent is the live action Disney picture that takes a decidedly sympathetic second look at one of the animation studio’s oldest (and most popular) villains, the Mistress of all Evil from 1959’s Sleeping Beauty. Before she cursed King Stefan’s only daughter, Aurora (Fanning), Maleficent was a pure-hearted, beautiful girl (Purnell) that lived an idyllic life in her beloved forest. After a series of betrayals that threatened her way of life, however, Maleficent grew into a cold, calculating, manipulative she-devil (Jolie) who would sooner cut someone with her Lady Gaga-esque cheek implants than risk losing the land over which she presides. While there is enough wicked cackling and diabolic scheming to delight any diehard fan of this iconic witch-bitch, there’s also plenty of good back story to help redeem her. Release Date: May 30 May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 45
Michael Lucas vs. The World
The Kremlin, Homophobia and even Johnny Weir by Deon Brown 46
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pinionated, outspoken, brash, (and very handsome) Michael Lucas has a reputation as the “enfant terrible” of adult gay entertainment. With a whopping budget of $250,000, Michael Lucas’ La Dolce Vita is the most expensive gay porn ever made. Daily news blog Queerty. com can’t get enough of him. ( “They love hating me and love writing about me. They write way too many posts about me,” he laughs.) Lucas also writes regularly for The Huffington Post. Lucas, now 42, earned a law degree from a Moscow university before leaving Russia, working as a fashion model in Paris, then coming to America. “My story is the American dream,” Lucas related. “I came here without anything. Nothing. It’s becoming more difficult to take advantage of opportunities Americans once had, so I’m very proud that in such a difficult time I could make it. I brought my whole family here in 2001. My parents, my grandparents and my brother. I renounced my Russian citizenship. I was not proud to be a citizen for such a horrible country.” In 2004 Lucas became an American citizen. In 2009 he became an Israeli citizen. Lucas ventured into documentary filmmaking. “These cost $100,000 each to make. Fundraising brought in about $15,000. The rest is out of my own
pocket. The return will be maybe $15,000. It’s a charity project,” he said about his docs, Undressing Israel: Gay Men in the Promised Land and Campaign of Evil: Russia and Gay Propaganda. Lucas visited Phoenix on business recently, to conduct auditions (“I saw a few guys, some very nice guys I’ll use in my films. My team knows exactly what my customers want. We give them exactly what they want.”) and discussed his passions and views with ION Arizona. ION: Why did you start making documentaries? Michael Lucas: I’m not steering away from porn. My adult films make a lot of money. Good money. When you get the platform—and my platform is porn— you become known and can speak about anything you want. If I were a doctor or lawyer nobody would listen to me. Porn gave me the opportunity to do what I want. To write, to travel, to meet people I’d never meet otherwise, to do good things for the gay community. I made one movie about Israel because I love the country and want to help with tourism and another about Russia because Russian gay people are in trouble. We don’t have the full picture. This is the first documentary about gay Russian life with these Draconian laws. My documentary puts it in perspective and shows how confused the gay community May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 47
ML: I was appalled and outraged. It was very difficult for me to interview the member of Parliament who created this legislation, Vitaly Novonov (Pictured next page, top right with Lucas) Is he crazy? He’s not crazy at all. He’s disgusting—but he’s a smart man. He likes fame. He’ll give an interview to anybody—he gave an interview to me. At the very end I told him what I think about him and he got up and left—but I had my interview. ION: You’re one of the most controversial & polarizing persons in the gay adult film industry. How does that make you feel?
in Russia is. Some people want to leave, some people think that it’s actually good for the stability of the Russian gay community. They’re very much mistaken. It’s like Nazi Germany. Some Jews understood what would happen and left. Others remained and vanished in the Holocaust. I don’t think all gay people would be exterminated but I know that people are being killed by the Russian mob who feels like they have a permit from the Kremlin to create violence against gay people. ION: Were you nervous during filming in Russia? 48
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ML: It makes me feel very good! The thing with me is not that I’m polarizing; usually anyone in the adult industry isn’t known for anything but porn and they don’t have much to say on any issue but porn. I can say a lot of things. I think that’s partly while my career has gone for a long time. People listen to what I say, whether they agree or disagree. ION: What would you be doing if you weren’t “Michael Lucas”? ML: I think I’d be a great lawyer, but I’m very happy with the choice I made with my life that I made at the relatively young age of 23. ION: What do you wish people knew about you that might surprise them?
ML: I’m as vulnerable as other people. I’m sad like other people. I change my mind just like other people. I often feel that I was wrong dealing with certain people and wish I could change things and turn back time. I make mistakes, and I admit to mistakes I made. ION: How do you describe yourself? ML: (Laughs) What’s my identity? I’m an American patriot. That’s a big identity for me. America’s very important to me and gave me many opportunities. I am Jewish; that was always part of me. I experienced a lot of anti-Semitism growing up in Russia and escaped. I’m gay, absolutely. I work hard for the gay community. I am always proudly gay and always out. I’m an independent thinker; I am never intimidated by anyone. ION: Whom do you most admire? ML: [The late Italian news journalist] Oriana Fallaci; she covered all the wars. She interviewed all the dictators. She was fearless. She was never intimidated or afraid of anyone. Not like interviewers today. I always identified with her. ION: Let’s discuss this “feud” with Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir and his soon-tobe ex-husband Victor Voronov. ML: I think it’s important to know that Voronov is crazy. As for Johnny Weir, I was very friendly
with him but his support of Russia and Russian authorities is disgusting. I made people understand more clearly that his stand is shameful. He’s like the ‘Home Gay’ for Russians. It’s not a compliment. He’s a clown for them. The Kremlin uses him as a tool to show that they are not homophobic to confuse people. They are trying to confuse gay people in the West by being so cozy with him. At the same time that they are showing the Russians that gays are all flamboyant. They didn’t show a gay man that Russians can relate to. ION: If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? ML: I don’t watch movies about superheroes. I don’t believe in these fictional characters. I can’t relate to them. I never follow celebrity gossip. I never watch YouTube. I hardly know who Britney Spears is. (Laughs) It’s just not interesting to me. Politics are interesting to me. Changing peoples minds would be great.
Find out more about Michael Lucas, his films, writing and documentaries at MichaelLucas.com. The documentaries are available at Amazon.com May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 49
SATURDAY, MAY 10, 2014 | PHOENIX CONVENTION CENTER
PRESENTED BY
AND
RICHARD P. STAHL
6:00 pm Cocktails & Silent Auction 7:15 pm Dinner & Special Performances AFTER PARTY
PERFORMING CeCe Peniston Live! “Finally!” The 90’s pop queen will bring you to your feet & get you moving as she performs at this year’s Night for Life gala and After Party. PERFORMING Phoenix Theatre Special Broadway performances that will amaze and inspire you.
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years 1990-2015
THE CELEBRATION BEGINS
RESERVE YOUR TABLE NOW: Go to nightforlife.org or call 602.595.8129 for more information 50
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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com
Dynasty: The Eighth Season Starring: John Forsythe, Linda Evans, Joan Collins, Emma Samms, Al Corley Before melodramatic prime time soap operas as Revenge and Scandal, there was Dynasty. Like its same time slot competitor Dallas, Dynasty told the tale of a wealthy White family—the Carringtons—who made their fortune in oil and whose infidelities, secrets, lies, schemes and manipulations constantly put their family and fortune at risk—basically what would have happened to the second and third generations of the Beverly Hillbillies’ Clampetts if they discovered dentists, hair spray and shoulder pads. Though Dallas and the Ewings debuted first, Dynasty had an ace up the sleeve: British actress Joan Collins, as Blake Carrington’s (Forsythe) bitchy first wife, Alexis, whose machinations put Blake’s company—and his trophy wife, Krystle’s (Evans) haute couture—at risk. Nobody’s dollars, dresses or dignity were safe from her cat claws and audiences everywhere reveled in the figurative and literal mudslinging. Many gay bars hosted Dynasty parties during broadcasts complete with champagne. Unfortunately, there’s only so much even the most talented team of writers can do and right after the royal wedding bloodbath in Moldavia disaster at the end of Season 5 the series started to run out of steam. Still,
like the Carringtons themselves, they didn’t know when to quit and kept on conniving away until the bitter end— which you now have the privilege of re-watching! In 1987 Season 8 yields the return of Blake’s daughter, Fallon (Samms, a.k.a., “Not Pamela Sue Martin”) and Jeff, whose marriage has gone the way of their spin-off, The Colbys, while Alexis is saved by a handsome stranger, Krystle is missing, and the series’ ratings have dropped to #33. Available now on DVD
Geography Club (2013) Starring: Cameron Deane Stewart, Justin Deeley, Meaghan Martin, Nikki Blonsky Based on the first novel in the Russel Middlebrook Series by Brent Hartinger, Geography Club tells the tale of how an unlikely group of teens end up uniting in their shared feelings of isolation as a result of their sexual orientations and overcome their fears. Russel is a gay high school student who doesn’t know how to tell his two best friends, Gunnar (Andrew Caldwell) and Min (Ally Maki) about his sexuality—until Min accidentally catches him kissing star athlete, Kevin Land (Deeley, 90210). Afraid he’ll be outed, instead he gets invited to join the Geography Club where he soon discovers that Min isn’t just “friends” with Terese (Blonsky, Hairspray) and Ike (Newell, Glee) is still on the fence about his own feelings. The Club serves as a safe haven for this small army until circumstances finally force their hand into taking a strong, proud stand. Available on DVD, it features an audio commentary with director Gary Entin and a documentary, The Making of Geography Club. May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 51
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by Albert Rivas arivas3@gmail.com
Hags and Horror S
omething wicked this May comes. WGN premieres the series “Salem,” set in the 17th century during the infamous, yet real events surrounding the Salem Witch Trials. It’s drama with a history lesson. And history with drama lesson, too. Mary Sibley (Janet Montgomery) is Salem’s “Don’t-Mess-with-Me” bitch. Shane West (A Walk To Remember) is John Alden, Mary’s former lover. Having thought Alden died during the war, Mary marries George Sibley. She makes a deal with the Devil for her survival and has control over Sibley’s power and wealth. Someone I was excited to see is Ashley Madekwe (Revenge) who plays Tituba, a powerful witch and part of Mary’s inner circle. Cotton Mather (Seth Gabel) is a Hellfire and Brimstone preacher by day and a regular cardholder to the brothel at night. The witches are real and they’re wickedly evil. They’re using the witch trials to make the Puritans kill each other so that the witches can rule Salem. With the success of “AHS: Coven” we have a cast of powerful women. The show is bold and even if you know the history you’ll get a fresh, new twist. This is not “Charmed.” This is way darker and will surely leave you spellbound. Showtime has a new series “Penny Dreadful,” which premieres May 11.
The title comes from the Victorian’s nickname for cheap publications of lurid, horrifying stories, costing only a penny. This is one horror infested show with eight episodes and featuring some notoriously famous literary characters. Josh Hartnett plays Ethan Chandler, a sharp shooter with no fear. Vanessa (Eva Green) a medium, she is neither good nor evil, but wields power beyond the natural world. You also have horror’s staples, like Dr. Frankenstein (Harry Treadaway), his monster and Dorian Gray (Reeve Carney) and the sinister Timothy Dalton in the mix. It’s a veritable “Who’s Who of the 1890s” in Victorian London. This looks a lot like “AHS: Coven” got raped in a dark alley and this is the supernatural bastard child. In the promos the actors say, “No matter what secrets you possess, no matter what fears you hold, no matter what darkness you hid, no wonder how monstrous your dreams, no matter what hungers you feel, there are others just like you.” These are people you don’t want to mess with. The trailers and images released give you a sense of “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” You’ll have a weaving of original stories and horror villains. This summer seems like a dark and grimy time. Now the problem with both these series is that we may be seeing a trend on shows coming this Fall. I can’t handle that many period pieces! But hey—bring on more of these drama/horror-filled shows! May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 53
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ou might say that we’re always ready to “Thai” one on! You know, take a “wok” on the wild side! One of our favorite places that features a mélange of tempting tastes from the mystic Orient is Johnny Chu’s popular Sochu House on Central Avenue and Thomas Road. He’s expanded, and now you can try his newest venture, Red Thai, a clever little bistro featuring an Asian fusion menu with the emphasis on Thai and Vietnamese cuisine. You’ll find Red Thai in a thriving strip mall at the southwest corner of 12th Street and Northern Avenue. Some tried and true crowd pleasing favorites from Sochu House found their way into the menu here, like the Sugar Cane Pork with “the other white meat” marinated in ginger lemongrass panko with pineapple ginger sauce, skewered with a small stick of sugar cane for $7.98. A new kid on the wok, errrr, “block,” is the Almond Chicken (pictured center), where the nut coated bird is flash fried and served with spicy sweet sour dipping sauces. Two nicely sized skewers are $7.98. The menu denotes that the Orange Puff, a crusted white meat chicken in a spicy tomato sauce ad topped with orange zest is “spicy,” but we didn’t agree. More spice. More orange zest.
Red Thai “Salad” territory gives you six different ones from which to choose. The Bun Bo is a spicy bowl of stir fry onion and beef, cucumber, bean sprouts with spicy nuoc cham (a delicious fish sauce) and topped with peanuts and crisp shallots for $9.98. What the menu didn’t tell us is that this is on a bed of cold rice noodles. We couldn’t help but wish that there were more crunchy, fresh, crispy bean sprouts (we barely found any). There’s potential for this, but the cold rice noodles didn’t work for us. Sorry! Please turn up the spice on this one! A big hit was the amazing Green Papaya Salad (pictured below). Choose tofu or shrimp accenting a bowl of
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shredded green papaya, Asian mint, peanuts with a divine sweet and sour dressing. The fresh, crunch and bite of the julienned papaya along with the breathtaking mint makes this perfect year ‘round, but especially for the summer. $8.98 EntrĂŠe choices are mouthwatering. Try the Sweet Ginger Fish ($14.98) (pictured left). Crispy (still buttery and tender)
white fish is served with snow peas, bell pepper, onion, pineapple and baby corn in a sweet ginger sauce, Kind of a traditional “sweet & sour” but the luscious, mild fish gives it a different kind of spin. Tackle the delicious Crispy Noodle Island ($11.98) with baby bok choy, mushroom, carrot, snow pea, broccoli, baby corn and onions in a brown garlic sauce. You can choose either tofu, shrimp or chicken to grace this dish. The crunchy bed of the crispy noodles” will give you plenty to work on. Nine other entrées round out the menu. Fans of Pad Thai will enjoy this super spicy dish for $11.98. An outstanding bonus at
Red Thai are the many vegetarian options along with a few gluten free choices, too. These requirements can make dining out with a few guests a challenge if they have dietary requirements or restrictions. A highlight of the Red Thai experience is the jewel-like space, featuring a 70-foot long bar with a gold, glittering portrait of Buddha covering the 20-foot high wall. Behind the enormous bar Japanese animé is projected, creating a fantastical wallpaper that’s captivating, yet unobtrusive. A night visit is when this venue shines with the modern Asian theatricality that only Johnny Chu and his wife, Linda Q can do. We look forward to Chu’s Shabu Fondue opening next month, with a selection of broths simmered for hours. Think “Melting Pot” but without any cheese. Speaking of the bar, don’t deny yourself one (or two. Or three) of their magnificent cocktails. Let that handsome David Ugorowski create something special for you. be careful! You just might find out what one night in Bangkok feels like when you wake up the next morning, so be responsible! RED THAI 7822 N. 12th St. Phone: 602-870-3015 Sun-Thurs: 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Fri & Sat: 11 a.m.-10 p.m. May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 61
2014 Saturday, June 7, 2014
Cocktail Reception: 6:00pm Gala Program & Dinner: 7:00pm
FireSky Resort & Spa
4925 N Scottsdale Rd, Scottsdale, AZ 85251
Gala VIP Tables: $950.00
(Includes a table for 10, Dinner for each guest, Complimentary Cocktail for each guest at Cocktail Reception, Table Host Recognition Honored Guest & Speaker, and Premium table placement) Senator Steve Gallardo
Gala Individual Seating: $95.00
(Includes Dinner & Complimentary Cocktail at Cocktail Reception) honored guest and Speaker, Senator Steve Gallardo
Order tickets or your VIP Table at: www.pridegalatickets.org Benefitting The Phoenix Pride Community Foundation www.phoenixpride.org
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Mike Ritter 1965-2014
The brilliant wit, talent, pen and ink and the life of our friend Mike Ritter ended too soon. Mike was the cartoonist in the early years of ION Arizona where he created the popular “Midtown Tales.” Mike was also the Editorial Cartoonist at the East Valley Tribune and more recently the Art Director at the GA Voice in his adopted hometown of Atlanta, Georgia. Mike is off “On the Road” singing karaoke with his heroes Bob Hope and Bing Crosby somewhere right now. We’ll miss you.
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MAY 8TH-12TH
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Havin’ an
AZ GRAND ol’ Time
Celebrate! The first ever Gay
Days Arizona comes to the Arizona Grand Resort from May 8-12 With parties for, both, guys and gals! For more information, tickets and more at GayDaysAZ.com
Photography by Fernando Hernandez Art Direction by Kevin Bushaw Promotional Consideration by Gay Days Arizona | The Arizona Grand Resort HUB Clothing - 5213 N. Central Ave, Phoenix, AZ (602) 277-4822 Tan United Collection - 4700 N Central Ave #116, Phoenix, AZ (602) 274-8268 Models are Alex DiGuadio & Michael Roebuck Special Thanks to Ian Joseph & Emily Dille May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 67
Diesel Tank available at HUB Andrew Christian trunks available at TUC 68
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Diesel Glasses available at TUC Diesel trunks available at HUB May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 69
Gay Days AZ Party Highlights Daily - Community Expo: Swag, prizes and LGBT friendly vendors and info.
Friday 5/9 - Big Gay Happy Hour Masquerade Party
Fri-Sun - Pool parties: Soak up the sun in a water park! Adventure down the Lazy River, in the Wave Pool and down the waterslide!
Saturday 5/10 - Splashdance Afterglow: Dance the night away!
Thurs. 5/8 - Launch Party: Join in the fun with a cocktail party with your friends & meet new people.
Sunday - Closing Party at The Bar on Central: Kiss off cocktails with your friends, old and new as we say “Goodbye” to a great weekend!
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Poolside fun, plus a private section “For Ladies Only!”
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Sunday 5/11 - Brunch: Mimosas & more! On Mother’s Day! Bring Mom!
Andrew Christian Swim Brief & Trunks available at TUC May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 71
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IBT’s
SHERATON HOTEL DOWNTOWN PHOENIX
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IBT’S WENDY HO
Benefiting the programs and services of the
Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation
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SundAy
OctOber 12
2014 May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 81
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BISBEE
Scre aming B anshee W ine Tas ting
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Vol. 8, Issue 3
April 2014
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
Hillary Clinton Pens New Book: “It Takes OUTRAGEOUS! a Shoe.” “In Africa they have a an old proverb, ‘Barack Obama wama Manolo Blahnik,’” said Mrs. Clinton, “which means, ‘May only designer footwear be aimed at your head and may you be president in 2016.”
WASHINGTON, D.C.— Former First Lady, Secretary and New York State Sen. Hillary Clinton nearly got clipped right in the middle of her medulla oblongata by an Easy Spirit right shoe during her recent keynote speech in Las Vegas, NV to a convention of Institute of Scrap Recycling Industries members at Mandalay Bay resort.
Clinton feels that fashionable footwear should be the right of every American. “I always say, ‘Do not judge your fellow American until you have walked to Starbucks in his Jimmy TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL Choos.’ Unless he’s a Republican. Then you can judge all you like.”
OUTRAGEOUS! The RESEMBLANCE unsettling incident ANY TO THE TRUTH IS inspired Mrs. Clinton to write a sequel to her 1996 book, “It Takes a Village” about the impact individuals and groups outside the family have raising children in African cultures and its relevance in the American home. Her new book will be titled, “It Takes a Shoe,” about the choice of footwear made throughout life affects everything you’ll ever be or do.
“You might say that Mrs. Clinton was tied up in knots after the event,” said one anonymous source. The footloose and fancy free former First Lady is rumored to be the Democratic candidate for the 2016 presidential election. The book will be published this fall.
OUTRAGEOUS!
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OUTRAGEOUS!
Trendy Whiskers Beautify Bearded OUTRAGEOUS! Ladies
OUTRAGEOUS!
PHOENIX — It looks like the 21st century fashion boon for the big beards, goatees and mustaches of yesteryear is here to ANY stay.RESEMBLANCE The coffee house hipsters, too-coolfor-school servers at Postino and the Trader Joe’s Organic Produce Managers aren’t the only ones on the Beard Bandwagon. What’s good for the gander is good for the goose this time.
TO THE TRUTH IS
Beards and mustaches aren’t just for postmenopausal women anymore, either. College co-eds and businesswomen alike are enjoying TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL newfound popularity with their whiskers.
“I’m, like, wow! I look like President Rutherford B. Hayes,” said Brittany Lindsay Palmer, 19, an ASU freshman. “My roommate looks like President ... ummm ... the guy with the muttonchop sideburns. We like to go to ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL Women across the Scottsdale bars and pick Valley are sporting whiskers on their chinnyup guys who are really trashed. They dig our ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL chin-chins. whiskers.”
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! “I thought, like, if my dad, brothers and boyfriend can wear a beard, why can’t I?” asked Meghan Chambers, 22. “I like having a beard! First I got a tattoo. Then I got my nipples pierced and my subdermal implants. This makes me unique, just like everybody else!”
Liam-James Carter, 25, who is gay, said, “When I go out with my bestie, Toinetta Sue Van Allen, I can tell people that she’s my ‘beard’—and mean it.”
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 87
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Dear Miss Tiger,
7
0’s disco anthem “We Are Family” brings a smile to our faces. But we don’t always have the same smiles when thinking of our own families. Somebody who causes us grief. This is all about dysfunctional families! Psychiatrists, preachers and counselors ain’t got shit on Miss Tiger ... because I’m telling’ it like it T-I-S ... without the fee! Dear Miss Tiger, My mom borrowed $1500 last year and still hasn’t paid me back. Now she’s asking for more money to pay her electricity bill. Any advice? — Tormented Daughter Dear Tell Mommy To Get Some Flashlights ‘Cuz It’s About To Get Dark Up In There, My advice is quite simple. Do mommy like her electric company will ... and cut her off! Dear Miss Tiger, I love my gay son! I don’t mind that he’s in the gay leather scene. I do have a problem with him referring to himself as a ‘pig.’ To make matters worse, he has a huge tattoo of one on his arm. I don’t get why he wants to call himself a pig? — Marjorie Dear From Playpen To Pigpen, Mommy ... didn’t you have a fucking clue when your bundle of joy preferred the dog’s rawhide bone over his goddamn pacifier?
I’m dating my brother’s ex-wife. We didn’t have an affair while they were married. Our family celebrated grandma’s birthday. My brother got totally wasted and said I could have his leftovers. He pushed me and I fell on the coffee table. I refused to create a scene and walked away. Help! — Bill Dear You Should’ve Walked Away From Your Sister-In-Law’s Pussy The Same Way You Walked Away From That Fight At Granny’s House, NEXT! Dear Miss Tiger, My brother is a young executive who dates men that are old enough to be our grandfather! Do you have any advice for him? — Angie Dear How About I Give YOU Some Goddamn Advice, Although his old codger is somewhere between dementia and death, I have to hand it to your brother ... in today’s economy, his sugar daddy’s Will is far more secure than your baby brother’s 401k! Talk to me LIVE about this kind of bullshit! Join me May 19th on Derek and Romaine • SiriusXM OutQ 109 at 6 p.m. MT. For more info stop by RadioBitch.com Miss Tiger Advice Columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website FavoriteBitch.com Facebook/Twitter MissTiger Advice ask@MissTiger.com May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 91
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G AY M A L E E R O T I C A | H E L I X S T U D I O S . C O M
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by Addison DeWitt
Hey, it’s my column!) Emm Jay made a celebrity guest “America’s Next Top (or Bottom? My money’s on “Top”) Model” appearance with his second ION Arizona cover at the ION booth at Pride. (D) And, yes. He’s even smells good. Kind of like a combination of Otter Pops, clean laundry, warm puppies, birthday cake and something else I can’t mention here.
A
nother great Phoenix Pride came and went. Now all that’s left are memories. Plus ropes and ropes of plastic Mardi Gras-style beads and lots of rainbow paraphernalia. And if you’re this guy (A), you can never have too much rainbow stuff. For the record, he is officially my hero! And I mean that! He just goes to prove that you can always fly your fabulous ‘n’ freaky flag forever! Oh, Mary! I love you! Can’t wait to see you next year! Mean it!
A
B C
The temperature’s rising, and it isn’t surprising that lurve is in the air! Word on the street is that ION’s favorite Splash Bash DJ, the darling Vince Urban has been seen out on the town with one of ION’s star photographers, the darling Franklin Diaz! Those two are, well, just perfectly darling together! (E)
Nothing says, “These shoes were made for walkin’,” quite like this hot guy’s (B) Winnie the Pooh-esque sneakers (C). From head to ankles his brooding, sexy Homeboy look says, “El Guapo Caliente,” but his fab footwear says, “Read me a bedtime story, Daddy.” Or maybe “My toes taste like honey, ese. ¡Chupa! Chupa!” I hope his boyfriend weighs in on this. With a very vivid description. From the “If Ya Want My Body/ DoYa Think I’m Sexy” Files: Everybody’s favorite (Well, he’s certainly my favorite, if you didn’t know.
Once is not enough! Yep. There’s even more about .... Travis Edwards! Come on down! (F) When George Gray calls for you to join Drew Carey on stage at “The Price is Right,” you come runnin’! And Travis did! Or this guy wearing a name tag that that says, “Gerald” who looks an awful lot like Travis did anyway. Gerald/Travis won some stuff, got to spin the wheel, and actually gave a “fist pump” on national TV! How cool is that?
D
E
“That show is totally rigged!” said Gerald/Travis. (No, he didn’t say that! I May 2014 www.IONAZ.com 95
by Addison DeWitt
just wanted to write something juicy and controversial to stir the turd. Sorry!) But he did level an accusation at the show’s host: “Drew Carey fellated every man in the studio audience for a chance to spin the wheel.” (No, he didn’t say that, either! I’m just trying to boost this column’s popularity and pickup rates.) If you were alive, remember all the cool kids back in 1984 who
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F
listened to Bronski Beat, Simply Red, Duran Duran? Well, except for Clayton McKee who was listening to Wham! while singing into a hairbrush “microphone.” Stacy Louis, Tom Jetland, Ted Kirby and lots more (mostly gay guys) were at the Pet Shop Boys concert at the Comerica Theatre reliving the days of electronica. They’re somewhere out there in the crowd (G). Take my word for it.
G
Stay tuned! I can’t wait for next month to see what Travis Edwards does!
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Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
S
aturn will be at its closest and brightest during its opposition to the Sun on May 10. The planet of Karma imposes limitations, restrictions and delays. That makes it important to ask this ringed beauty, “Mother, may I?” Lessons and past experiences are key this month. Saturn’s a tough, strict planet, for sure.
Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
Yes, you may. This month provides an excellent opportunity for you to repay a debt. It may be financial, spiritual, social or emotional. Reciprocation will keep your credit good. Chances are it’ll involve money. Sorry!
Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20
Yes, you may. With conditions: if it’s your birthday, treat yourself. You deserve something. If it isn’t your birthday, no, you may not. You usually hear “yes” all the time and the occasional “no” will help you make a wise decision.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Yes, oh, yes you may. A little lower ... a little to the left. Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! Yes, yes, yes! And if it’s your birthday, yes, I’ll absolutely put it in my mouth. Everyone’s putty your hands, Gemini.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
No, you may not. You’re invited to do something with others that you know is foolhardy, risky and downright stupid. Don’t buy into it, even if it means not being one of the “cool kids.”
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
Yes, you may. You usually charge into situations without asking permission. This month your thoughtfulness pays off when you ask first before you start ripping their clothes off like the animal you are.
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Yes, you may. You get the green light to begin an artistic project you’ve been wanting to do for a long time. It might be anything from a macaroni art portrait of your pet to redecorating your house.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
Mmmm ... better not. Weigh the pros and cons of a major change. It may concern a job or career change, moving, having sex, or something as simple as a new hairdo. If it does involve sex, oh, yes you certainly may.
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23
No. You definitely may not. Your analytical and insightful radar about things is off kilter. What’s the matter? You’re often correct with your judgement. You’re in heat.
Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23
Yes, you may. You might regret your decision, though. Someone suddenly appears in your life, either socially or at work who turns everything topsy-turvy. It’s awfully exciting—until you get a rash or lose money. Easy now!
Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
Yes, you may. You will anyway. Your tenacity ensures you always get your own way. It’s admirable and aggravating at the same time. Taking the reins in a problematic situation will make you a total “Top” all month long. Kinda hot, huh?
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
No, no, no! No, you may not! Your wild, impetuous nature and spontaneous ways might have consequences when you make a hasty decision involving finances or traveling. Slow down, eager beaver!
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
No, you most certainly may not, missy! Your relentless finagling puts you on the “Do Not Call” list. You’re really quite charming. Usually. Take a much needed break. Go home, relax, and reinvent yourself. It works for Madonna. Usually.